Why You Very, Very, Very Much Want a PROFESSIONAL Coach/Advisor (in Dating and Elsewhere!)

If he charges you money, isn’t it a scam? While scammers do exist, all the best advisors, instructors, & coaches in seduction or any field are PAID!

I’ve been coaching, writing, and selling programs in the ‘get girls’ / ‘have relationships’ space for the better part of two decades now. Every now and again we get guys who appear with the FULL CYNIC glasses on who accuse me of being motivated solely by acquisitive greed:

Nah, it just cuts into your business. The less men that participate is money you don't get.

— CLAYLAVL (@CLAYLAVLS) January 14, 2025

It's actually an easy charge for an outsider to make:

1. We often don’t think of ‘advice’ as a job or service.

2. You can get FREE advice, EVERYWHERE! From friends, random people online, etc. So why would you want to get advice from someone who does it for work?

3. There’s a seeming conflict of interest with a paid instructor: if he’s paid to do it, can he really be disinterested? Someone who gives instruction totally unpaid seems more trustworthy!

This article is about why this mindset is aggressively stupid and traps the idiots who subscribe to it in valleys of ineffectuality and lackluster returns.

Remember: with advice, as with anything else, you get what you pay for.

Tactics Tuesdays: 3 Ways to Disarm Your Drawbacks

You might be short, poor, bald, ugly, dumb, or out-of-step; we’ve all got drawbacks. Yet how do you deal with these when women bring them up?

It’s pretty common for men to feel insecure about whatever drawbacks they may have:

• Too short
• Too ugly
• Too bald
• Too broke
• Too young
• Too old
• Too much of a nobody
• Too unaccomplished
• Too awkward
• Too dumb
• Too out-of-step with the culture

Guys will put off approaching girls, skip approaching altogether, and otherwise remain stuck in safe spaces out of fear of rejection over their drawbacks.

When they do make an approach on a girl, they often look for ways to self-deprecate, which only highlights their weakness and makes them look insecure; or else they act defensive if it gets brought up, which again makes them seem insecure.

How, then, do you defuse your disadvantages when you approach new girls – or even when you go on a date, or are inside a relationship?

In this Tactics Tuesdays installment, I’ll provide you with three (3) separate (but each one of them useful) ways.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Focus Outward

If you want to attract girls, you need to focus on girls – not yourself. Get out of your head, into the moment, and focused upon the opposite sex!

I had a guy message me with some concerns that he may not be good enough for girls.

It was hard for him to motivate himself to approach women, he said, because he just did not see why anyone would value him or want to talk to him.

What most people would probably focus on is trying to buoy the confidence of a man in his position. “Think about your good qualities!” “Focus on the bright side!” “There’s surely a girl who will like you for you!”

What I advised him on was, instead, one of the Secrets to Getting Girls:

To switch his mentality from an inward focus to an outward one.

How to Peacock: Rules to Proper Peacocking + Examples

Peacocking can be very effective at drawing women in and warming them up to your approach. To use it right, however, it must be congruent + properly done.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week, I discussed the concept of peacocking. This older concept involves wearing eye-catching and flashy clothing or using props to draw women’s attention, ideally getting them to open you. The goal is to use your style to engage and hook women.

This concept has unfortunately declined in popularity due to overuse by inexperienced beginners, leading to poorly dressed, uncalibrated men with inadequate fundamentals dressing flashy and provocatively, often resembling clowns.

Many men discovering pickup and learning be some of its best-known concepts, including peacocking, have experienced limited results. The result has been a de-popularization of peacocking and an overall decline in the popularity of pickup culture.

Today, I will go through how to peacock. You will learn the basics to pull it off. Next week, I will cover how it affects your interactions and how to navigate the field when you peacock.

Before we begin, let’s be clear: you do not need to peacock. It is a night game technique. Yes, some guys like Vince Kelvin (aka Hollywood) have famously peacocked in day game. He is an exception to the rule. He’s also an old-schooler who has been active since the early 2000s. You can break some rules if you are that experienced. I wonder if he truly peacocks or if what he is wearing really is his style—he has been dressing like this since I heard about him in 2008. The bottom line is that he pulls it off, and it works for him.

In general, peacocking is a night game strategy. Because of the flashy, high-energy, flamboyant, and extravagant energy of night game, there is more permissibility to be outrageous.

It’s up to you whether you want to peacock in night game. It is not required; it’s a tool you can choose if you feel like it and are comfortable doing so. I’ll provide details on the pros and cons of peacocking next week to help you decide if it is something you want to try. Remember, it is not necessary and may not suit you, and that’s okay. I still recommend reading this post because even if you do not go full-out flashy peacock mode, some tips may still benefit you. It’s still crucial to wear unique items or know how to use props when doing night game. It shows that you are out to socialize and fits the night vibe. What you learn below can help you attract women; just tone it down and add one or two elements.

Let’s run through the fundamentals before discussing how to peacock and sharing some tips and tricks.

Avoid Long-Term Relationship Misery: Steer Clear of Misaligned Life Goals

If you’d prefer a relationship where you and your woman are not at one another’s throats (or walking out the door), build one with where life goals align.

Something few people discuss, because few people think long-term anymore, is the utter vitality of aligned life goals in selecting a long-term relationship partner.

(17th Century lovers were actually much better at this; you can find copious letters written by lovers discussing their hopes, dreams, and plans for their future together in detail)

Men online will talk about the importance of finding a ‘submissive’ woman. The implication superficially seems to be that you should look for a woman who will just go along with whatever you want. Of course, the question there is if she will go along with whatever YOU want, who’s to say she won’t go along with whatever anyone else wants too (including, for instance, the deliveryman or handyman who stops by while you’re at work and who’d very much like to cuckold you with her)?

The unspecified part of this whole “find a girl who’s submissive” advice – the part the men saying this intend but don’t usually know how to say – is that you want a woman who wants what YOU want, who finds your vision compelling, who is willing to submit to your leadership because she believes you will lead her where she wants to go.

The alternative to this – the uppity, rebellious woman whose life goals are in full opposition to yours – will provide you endless headaches, a far less stable relationship, and a greater chance of the relationship falling apart – or of you even getting pulled off your life goals.

Of course, if you do what a lot of folks do, and enter a relationship with whoever you like based on your initial compatibilities, it’s a roll of the dice whether you’ve chanced upon a woman with aligned life goals – or one with very, very DIFFERENT ones.

If you don’t want to be a gambler, and instead want to maximize the odds of a harmonious relationship without needless wars on life direction, then read on to know what to screen for – and how.

Join Chase, Hector, & Others at the 2025 Dating Game Summit

Chase Amante, Hector Castillo, and many other dating experts come together virtually in 2025’s Dating Game Summit. The ticket is free; you’re going to want to  attend!

Justin Harder’s put together the first serious summit the seduction community has had in years – and it’s just about to start. He’s calling it the Dating Game Summit.

You can learn more about it and pick up your FREE ticket here:

>> Attend the 2025 Dating Summit (Online) <<

Yours truly will be there, Hector Castillo will be there, plus many others you may recognize. I don’t know all the speakers, but there are a bunch attending I either know personally or am familiar with at least by name. Dr. Robert Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy), Michael Sartain, Kezia Noble, Dave Perrotta (who’s written a few guest posts for us), Adam Lane Smith – all in attendance, alongside many others. Harder has assembled an impressive 50 speakers for the event.

If you’re familiar with the dating advice space outside of Girls Chase, there’s likely folks attending you will know (the speaker list is on the Summit page).

Tactics Tuesdays: The Nonplussed Romantic Breakup

Most men during breakups plead, rage, or act like rocks. None of these are ideal though. Instead, you want to seduce her on the way out – with the Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude.

Over the years I have seen a lot of men respond to breakups a lot of different ways:

• Begging women to stay

• Pledging they will change

• Declaring “You need me!”

• Asking to “Make it work”

• Indignation (“Ungrateful!”)

• Defiance (“Who needs you!”)

One thing I very, very rarely see is the man who is completely nonplussed…

The man who doesn’t beg, plead, pledge, ask, declare, or respond with indignation or defiance.

He neither belittles the woman nor prostrates himself before her.

Instead, he remains calm, understanding, gracious, yet without emotion – he still shows some sadness and care. Just not an outpouring of it. He handles the breakup with masculine aplomb.

Perhaps it is because this reaction is so rare, but this Nonplussed Romantic Breakup Attitude is the single biggest way to ensure that you remain stuck deep within a woman’s mind post-breakup, leading to positive feelings on her end, and a whole lot of chasing from her to get you back before you even expect it.

It is how you seduce her on your way out, just as you did on the way in.