Why Are Girls Going Commando? 29 Reasons & Tips to Ditch Your Undies

There are more and more girls going commando as of late. But why is this? Here are all of the reasons why girls – and you – should ditch the undies.

Going commando is nothing new. People have been doing it for far longer than we realize. In fact, humans went without underwear far longer than we’ve been wearing it. It wasn’t until more recently in history that girls going commando was seen as something odd.

But it’s becoming the norm as of late and for good reasons. There are actually many benefits of not wearing underwear and women are starting to realize that. [Read: Lingerie selfie: How to perfect the art of foreplay from afar]

Why People Started Wearing Underwear in the First Place

Humans were made to be naked. When we evolved, we weren’t designed to wear clothes all the time—that’s why we have protective body hair. However, as humans became more civilized and migrated to different climates, clothing became essential for survival, providing warmth and protection from the elements.

Underwear, in particular, emerged as societies developed. Historically, early forms of underwear—like loincloths or simple wraps—were used for modesty and to protect more sensitive areas of the body.

As hygiene practices evolved, researchers discovered that wearing a layer beneath outer clothing could help reduce irritation caused by coarse fabrics and shield the skin from dirt and sweat buildup.

By the time the Industrial Revolution rolled around, underwear also became associated with personal cleanliness and hygiene, as early studies on skin health highlighted the benefits of keeping clothing layers between skin and harsher materials.

While many assumed this layer was inherently more sanitary, modern research has shown that this isn’t always true—ventilation and fabric choice often play a larger role in maintaining skin health than simply wearing underwear.

So while the original reason for inventing underwear was rooted in health concerns and practical necessity, the ongoing evolution of its design—spanning everything from breathable fabrics to support-specific designs—reflects a mix of cultural adaptation and scientific understanding. [Read: 24 sexy signs your guy thinks you’re hot & finds you very attractive]

Why Girls Go Commando

There are a lot of reasons to go commando and we’re going to lay them all out for you right here.

1. It’s Cheaper

Do you know how expensive underwear is? If you want the types that are actually semi-comfortable, you’re looking to spend a pretty penny on every pair. That means you’ll easily have hundreds of dollars worth of panties in no time. Who wants to spend that money?

Instead, girls who are ditching their underwear can spend their money on more important things. Like donuts. Or a sexy dress. [Read: The lazy twentysomething’s guide to saving money]

2. It’s More Comfortable

No matter what kind of underwear it is, it’s not more comfortable than going without. Even if you have the softest thong on the planet, it’ll still ride up every now and then.

When girls go commando, they’re living in comfort. There’s nothing riding up their butt and causing them to be annoyed all day.

3. It’s Cooler

This isn’t in an attitude way, it’s in a temperature way. There’s actually a lot of heat that escapes by way of your genitals. If women are always trapping their bits in tight undies, it gets very warm. And that’s just downright annoying.

4. Easy Access

Let’s talk sex. Not wearing panties is so much more convenient for it. Not only does it take less time to get down to the nitty-gritty, it makes the sex that much better, especially for quickies.

Since you don’t have something protecting your downstairs all day, you’ll actually be more turned on from everything rubbing against you. [Read: Married sex: 38 sex ideas & naughty tips to spice it up & stay passionate]

5. It’s Can Be Healthier

Since girls going commando aren’t trapping the heat down there, they’re making it harder for bacteria to grow. Since bacteria thrive in warm, wet places, ditching the panties makes it more difficult to get any kind of infection by “airing it out.”

6. No Panty Lines!

We all hate panty lines. Can we agree on that? They don’t look good and they can ruin a perfectly good outfit. For that reason, more girls are just deciding to go without.

You can probably relate to spending way too long trying on different pairs of underwear to see if one didn’t show panty lines. Not wearing underwear saves a LOT of that time.

7. Less Laundry

We know underwear isn’t very big. I know they don’t make up that much of your laundry but coming from someone who HATES doing laundry, this is a big perk. You don’t have to worry about washing them if you don’t wear any! [Read: Lazy boyfriend: 20 signs, why guys get lazy in love & how to help him change]

8. Lighter Packing

Think about how many times you’ve had to make room in your suitcase just for underwear. You could be missing out on packing that amazing outfit because you need to squeeze in seven pairs of undies for vacation. No thanks—you might as well go without and save the space!

9. It Releases More Pheromones

That’s right, ladies. If you want to pick up more guys, just stop wearing underwear! That region is ripe with pheromones that can actually be picked up by other guys if you stop covering yourself with tight fabric. [Read: How do pheromones really work?]

10. You’ll Spend Less Time Matching Underwear to Your Bra

Because you won’t have to wear any panties! That means you can wear any bra you want and it’ll be sure to look perfect with your naked nether region.

11. It Makes You Feel Free

Underwear is just downright constricting and annoying. If you really want to know what freedom feels like, do what all the girls going commando are doing and ditch the underwear for good. Nobody needs something so restricting in their life.

12. It Gives You a Sexy Edge

Knowing you’re not wearing panties just makes you feel sexy. You feel like you have a secret as you’re walking around all day long. And guess what? It feels great!

You get a huge confidence boost when you walk around naked down there. Sure, it can feel a little odd at first. But after a while, you’ll start feeling incredibly sexy and like you can totally pick up any guy you want. [Read: 40 secrets to look sexy, feel seductive & unleash the sexiness inside you!]

13. It’s a Fun Way to Instigate Foreplay

Literally all girls have to say is, “I’m not wearing underwear,” and their partner is all over them. And if you wear a dress while you’re not wearing underwear it makes it even better. Spicy!

The point is that it’s a fun way to start something sexy with your partner. You can be out on a date or somewhere public and whisper it in their ear. It’ll be enough to get them to speed up the date so they can get you home. [Read: Sexual foreplay: 26 lusty secrets to do it well & make them hot & horny]

14. You’ll Smell Fresher

Since it’s cooler and less damp down there when you don’t wear panties, you’ll smell better. Bacteria is what makes for an icky-smelling downstairs for women and by ditching the underwear, you’re preventing the bacteria from growing.

15. You’ll Feel Like a Little Rebel

Until girls going commando is completely normal to society, you’ll always feel like a little rebel if you don’t wear any underwear. That rebellious attitude can make you feel unstoppable in everything else you do in life. If you want that extra edge, take a lesson from all the girls going commando.

When You Should Think Twice Before Going Commando

With all the buzz about the freedom and comfort of girls going commando, you might be tempted to toss your panties and join the movement. And hey, the idea does sound liberating! But before you start snipping your lacey lovelies or tossing your cotton classics, here are a few situations where it might be wise to reconsider.

1. During Your Period

While going commando might sound appealing any time of the month, your period is a different story. Without that extra layer of fabric, leaks or stains can become a very real and very awkward problem. Even if you’re using tampons or menstrual cups, they aren’t foolproof, and underwear acts as a safety net. [Read: 19 science-backed secrets to delay your period & unproven old wives’ tales]

Plus, materials like cotton panties can help wick away moisture during this time, reducing the risk of bacterial buildup.

Gynecologists often recommend breathable underwear during menstruation to maintain hygiene and avoid irritation. So, maybe keep your underwear around as your period buddy—it’s a small price for peace of mind.

2. When Wearing Rough Fabrics

Clothes like jeans or materials with rough textures can feel uncomfortable—or even abrasive—without a barrier between your skin and the fabric. Your underwear serves as a buffer, reducing friction and protecting sensitive areas.

Over time, constant rubbing can cause irritation or even microtears, which may increase your risk of infections. Sure, that pair of skinny jeans might make your legs look like a supermodel’s, but they’re not exactly forgiving down there.

Unless you’re opting for ultra-soft or lined materials, keeping your panties on can help you stay irritation-free.

3. At the Gym

Working out might seem like the perfect opportunity to skip underwear, especially if you’re rocking leggings or yoga pants that already feel like a second skin but intense sweat production creates a moist environment where bacteria and yeast thrive.

Without underwear to absorb some of that moisture, you may be at a higher risk for skin irritation or infections like athlete’s foot *yes, it can affect other areas of the body.*

If you’re set on going commando at the gym, consider workout gear made with moisture-wicking fabric to stay fresh. Otherwise, a breathable, lightweight pair of undies might be your best workout companion. [Read: Gym etiquette: The big rules, your first day & kinds of people you’ll bump into]

4. In Professional or Public Settings

Imagine sitting in an important meeting or on a public bench, only to realize your outfit isn’t providing the coverage you thought it was.

Going commando in formal or public settings might seem harmless until you’re suddenly adjusting your skirt or crossing your legs extra carefully. We don’t want to accidentally flash someone! [Read: 41 suave secrets & traits to be a classy person who exudes grace & charisma]

Certain fabrics in public seating *hello, scratchy bus seats* aren’t exactly hygienic. While it’s great to embrace your bold side, sticking with underwear in these scenarios adds an extra layer of security and confidence. Save your commando adventures for settings where you feel totally at ease.

5. If You’re Prone to Infections

For women who frequently deal with urinary tract infections *UTIs* or yeast infections, skipping underwear might not be the best move. Underwear made from breathable, natural fabrics like cotton helps absorb excess moisture and create a barrier against bacteria that can creep into sensitive areas.

Scientific studies suggest that dry, well-ventilated environments discourage microbial growth, which is key to preventing infections. While some experts advocate for going commando at night to let the skin breathe, during the day, a well-fitted pair of panties can be a protective ally for those prone to recurrent issues.

6. When Wearing Short Skirts or Dresses

Mini skirts and flowy dresses might make you feel like a fashion queen, but they also leave you vulnerable to unexpected gusts of wind or accidental exposure. Unless you’re a pro at strutting in Marilyn Monroe moments, going commando in these outfits can lead to awkward situations.

Plus, public transportation or shared seating becomes a hygiene concern when your clothing is the only barrier between you and the surface. To stay chic and carefree, consider keeping your panties in place with these outfits—it’s a small compromise for your peace of mind and dignity! [Read: Finding peace: How to calm your mind & make peace a state of mind]

Tips for Going Commando Comfortably And Safely

If you’re ready to take your undies off and embrace a breezier, more liberated lifestyle, we’re here to help you do it the right way. Going commando might feel like a bold move, but with a few smart practices, it can be both comfortable and safe. Here are some tips to keep in mind for all the adventurous girls going commando.

1. Choose the Right Fabrics

When ditching your panties, the type of fabric your clothing is made from becomes even more important. Opt for soft, breathable materials like cotton or bamboo, which allow for proper air circulation and help prevent moisture buildup.

Avoid synthetic fabrics like polyester or nylon, as they can trap heat and sweat, creating the perfect environment for bacteria and yeast to thrive.

Breathable fabrics reduce the risk of irritation and infection, especially in warm weather. Think of it this way: your skin needs to breathe, and your clothing should help, not hinder that process! [Read: STDs 101: The most common types and their symptoms]

2. Pay Extra Attention to Hygiene

Without underwear as a barrier, your skin is more directly exposed to clothing and the environment. This means you’ll need to step up your hygiene game. Make it a habit to wash daily, using gentle, pH-balanced cleansers to avoid disrupting your natural flora.

For girls going commando in tight clothing or after sweating, a quick rinse or change into fresh clothes can help keep things fresh. Remember, cleanliness is key to staying comfortable and preventing unwanted issues like irritation or infections.

3. Avoid Going Commando in Tight or Restrictive Clothing

It might seem like a good idea to pair your favorite leggings or skinny jeans with the no-underwear look but be careful. Tight clothing increases friction, which can lead to discomfort or even skin chafing. Over time, this friction might cause microtears, making your skin more susceptible to bacteria.

It’s better to wear looser clothing if you’re skipping underwear, as it minimizes irritation and allows for better airflow.

So, while those skintight yoga pants might look amazing, consider saving them for days when you’re sticking with undies.

4. Stay Mindful of Where You Sit

When you’re going commando, there’s no protective layer between your body and the surfaces you sit on, whether it’s a public bench, a café chair, or a friend’s couch.

To keep things hygienic, be conscious of your seating choices. Carry a scarf or small piece of fabric to sit on if you’re in a questionable spot, especially in public areas. Not only does this help you avoid bacteria, but it’s also a polite move that ensures everyone stays comfortable—yourself included! [Read: Vaginal odor: 35 secrets to make your vagina smell good & taste even better]

5. Consider Going Commando at Night First

If you’re new to the commando lifestyle, starting at night can be a great way to ease into it. Sleeping without underwear allows your skin to breathe and reduces moisture accumulation.

Studies have shown that this can be beneficial for skin health and may help prevent issues like yeast infections. Plus, there’s nothing quite like the freedom of going to bed with fewer layers—it’s a low-risk way to see how it feels before trying it during the day.

6. Be Strategic with Your Outfit Choices

Certain outfits are better suited for going commando than others. Flowy dresses, skirts, or thin fabrics can make you feel exposed or vulnerable to accidental wardrobe malfunctions. Instead, choose structured garments or those with thicker fabrics for added security.

Additionally, be cautious with clothing that has rough seams or embellishments in sensitive areas—they can cause irritation without the protective layer of underwear. With the right outfit, going commando can feel like a seamless (pun intended) experience!

7. Don’t Skip Laundry Day

If you’re skipping underwear, your outer clothing will be doing double duty, absorbing sweat and any other natural moisture. This makes regular washing even more crucial. [Read: Flop sweat: 33 stress-sweat triggers & actions to stop nervous sweating ASAP]

Wash your clothes after each wear, especially pants or leggings, to maintain hygiene. Using fragrance-free, hypoallergenic detergents can also help prevent skin irritation. Treat your clothes like an extension of your skin—you wouldn’t go days without a shower, right?

8. Know Your Body

Everyone’s body is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Pay attention to how your skin reacts when you go commando and adjust accordingly.

If you notice irritation or discomfort, don’t be afraid to go back to wearing underwear for a bit. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and the key to being one of the confident girls going commando is knowing when it works for you and when it doesn’t.

Whatever You Choose, Wear—Or Don’t Wear—It Proudly!

At the end of the day, the choice to ditch your undies—or not—is entirely yours. Whether it’s going commando, trying a new fashion trend, or embracing a lifestyle change, you always have the liberty to feel liberated.

The most important thing is to do what makes you feel comfortable, confident, and in control of your decisions. Just remember to make informed choices that align with your health, lifestyle, and personal preferences.

[Read: Justifying your life choices – Should you worry about it?]

For those curious about joining the trend, girls going commando can enjoy plenty of perks, but it’s all about knowing when and how it works best for you. Whatever you choose, wear—or don’t wear—it proudly!

The post Why Are Girls Going Commando? 29 Reasons & Tips to Ditch Your Undies is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Crush on a Friend’s Girlfriend? 40 Tips to Avoid Making Things Messy

Of all the dating dilemmas, this one is a difficult thing to handle. So you have a crush on a friend’s girlfriend? What’s next?

So, you have a friend—your buddy, your pal, someone you trust and care about. And then he meets her. She’s smart, funny, kind, and everything he’s ever wanted. But here’s the plot twist: she’s everything you’ve ever wanted, too. Yep, you’ve got a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, and now you’re stuck in one of the messiest situations life can throw at you.

What should you do? How do you handle these feelings without wrecking your friendship, ruining their relationship, or driving yourself crazy?

It’s complicated, it’s awkward, and it’s definitely not what you signed up for. But before you panic, take a deep breath—because there is a way to navigate this with maturity and respect. Let’s break it all down. [Read: How to be mature: 25 ways to grow up & face life like an adult]

So You Like Your Friend’s Girlfriend?

Real friendship takes trust, understanding, and a shared history of getting through challenges together. Whether it’s dealing with tough exams, stressful jobs, or heartbreaks, friends stick together and support each other through it all. But what happens when something more complicated comes into play—like finding yourself with a crush on your friend’s girlfriend?

It’s not something anyone plans for, but it can happen. Maybe it’s her personality that draws you in or the way she lights up the room when she’s around. Whatever the reason, the situation is undeniably messy and full of potential for emotional chaos. It forces you to confront uncomfortable questions about your feelings and your loyalty to your friend. [Read: Real friends vs fake friends: 21 ways to weed out users & bad ones]

So, why might this happen in the first place? Sometimes, a crush on a friend’s girlfriend stems from admiration. You see her as smart, kind, or funny, and those qualities naturally appeal to you *more on this later.*

Whatever the reason, the situation demands careful thought. Crushing on your friend’s girlfriend doesn’t just affect you—it could change the dynamic of your friendship and create tension in their relationship.

You might feel guilty or torn, unsure of what your feelings mean or how to handle them. It’s a tricky situation that could challenge your values and test the trust you share with your friend.

Why Do You Have a Crush on Her?

Let’s take a step back to see what’s really going on here. When you develop a crush on a friend’s girlfriend, it’s important to ask yourself: why? What’s fueling these feelings, and what’s the root cause?

Understanding this is crucial because it helps you process your emotions and decide how to act in a way that aligns with your values. Here are some possible reasons why you might be attracted to her, along with explanations to help you reflect. [Read: 40 core values in a relationship, why they matter & secrets to align them]

1. You Admire Her Personality or Qualities

It’s natural to feel drawn to someone who has qualities you deeply value, such as kindness, intelligence, humor, or confidence. However, admiration is not the same as romantic attraction. You may simply respect who she is as a person, especially if your friend has chosen a great partner.

Sometimes, spending time around her can amplify these feelings, but it’s important to recognize that admiration doesn’t always mean deeper romantic interest.

2. You’re Emotionally Unfulfilled or Lonely in Your Own Life

Another common reason for a crush on a friend’s girlfriend is loneliness or a sense of emotional emptiness in your own life.

If you’ve been struggling with unmet emotional needs—whether it’s a lack of romantic connection, support, or companionship—it’s easy to project those desires onto someone close to you. Her presence might feel comforting, but this doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the solution to your feelings of loneliness. [Read: Powerful ways to combat and break out of loneliness]

Psychologists often point out that people are more prone to developing romantic feelings when they feel emotionally vulnerable.

Ask yourself if your crush is really about her, or if it’s more about what she represents—someone who fills a gap in your emotional life. Addressing your own needs and focusing on personal growth can help you see the situation more clearly.

3. You Spend Too Much Time Around Her Because of Your Friend

Spending frequent time with your friend and their girlfriend naturally creates opportunities to develop familiarity and emotional closeness.

This proximity can lead to feelings of attraction, even if those feelings weren’t there initially. This is a well-documented psychological phenomenon known as the “mere exposure effect,” where repeated exposure to someone can increase your sense of connection or attraction.

4. You’re Idealizing Her Because She’s Unavailable

Sometimes, the fact that she’s “off-limits” makes her feel even more appealing. There’s something about knowing you can’t have her that can make your feelings stronger, even if you don’t realize it.

When someone is unavailable, it’s easy to put them on a pedestal and focus on all the amazing things about them. But the truth is, you’re probably not seeing the full picture.

She’s not perfect—nobody is—and it’s important to remind yourself of that. Stepping back and being honest with yourself about her flaws or things that might not be a great fit for you can help take her out of that idealized spotlight. [Read: 46 signs she’s emotionally unavailable & not ready for a relationship with you]

5. You’re Comparing Her to Other People in Your Life

If you’ve been struggling to meet new romantic prospects or have had negative experiences in past relationships, you might subconsciously compare her to others.

As someone who already has an established connection with your friend, she might seem like the “ideal” partner because she’s already in a committed relationship. However, this comparison is often unfair and based on limited information, as you’re only seeing one side of her in a specific context.

6. You’re Misinterpreting Her Friendliness as Romantic Interest

Look, just because she’s nice to you doesn’t mean she’s into you. Some people are naturally warm, kind, and easy to talk to—it’s just their personality. The fact that she’s dating your friend probably means her friendliness is part of being a good partner and fitting into his social circle, not a sign that she’s secretly interested in you.

It’s easy to overthink things when you have a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, but don’t let her kindness mess with your head. Take a step back and remind yourself that being friendly doesn’t equal flirting.

7. You’re Seeking What Your Friend Has

In some cases, a crush on a friend’s girlfriend may stem from envy or a desire to have what your friend seems to have. If your friend’s relationship appears happy or fulfilling, it might trigger feelings of longing for a similar connection in your own life. [Read: 46 secrets to stop being jealous for no reason & learn to live envy-free]

These feelings can become misdirected, causing you to focus on your friend’s girlfriend instead of considering what you need to do to find your own romantic happiness.

8. You’re Mistaking Familiarity For Deeper Feelings

If you’ve spent significant time around your friend’s girlfriend, you might start to feel a sense of closeness or familiarity that’s mistaken for romantic attraction.

Familiarity can create a false sense of intimacy, leading you to believe there’s a deeper connection than there actually is. This is especially common when you see her often through group hangouts or other social settings.

9. You’re Experiencing Emotional Displacement

Emotional displacement happens when you redirect unresolved emotions onto someone else. For example, if you’re dealing with stress, heartbreak, or unprocessed feelings from a previous relationship, you might unconsciously shift those emotions toward your friend’s girlfriend. It can create the illusion of a crush when, in reality, it’s just a response to other emotional struggles.

10. You’re Confusing Respect For Compatibility

If you admire how your friend’s girlfriend treats your friend or handles her relationships, you might feel attracted to her because of this. [Read: Friend crush: What it is, the signs you have one & what to do next]

Respecting her for being a good partner doesn’t necessarily mean she’s someone you’re compatible with romantically. It’s a confusion that can arise when you admire her qualities in the context of her relationship with your friend but it’s important to separate that admiration from personal romantic interest.

What NOT to Do When You Have a Crush on a Friend’s Girlfriend

So, you’re sure about it—you find your friend’s girlfriend attractive. It’s a tough situation to be in, and before you act on those feelings, let’s talk about the things you absolutely should NOT do.

Handling this the wrong way could damage your friendship, hurt other people, and leave you full of regret. To avoid unnecessary chaos, here’s a list of things you need to steer clear of when you have a crush on a friend’s girlfriend.

1. Don’t Confess Your Feelings

It might feel like confessing your crush is the right thing to do to “get it off your chest,” but it’s not. Telling her—or worse, your friend—about your feelings will likely create unnecessary drama and tension in their relationship and your friendship. [Read: How to confess your feelings for a girl and win her over & not rejected]

It’s not fair to burden her with feelings she didn’t ask for, and your confession could leave your friend feeling betrayed or hurt. Keep your feelings to yourself and focus on working through them privately. Having a crush on a friend’s girlfriend doesn’t mean you need to act on it or make it known.

2. Don’t Try to Compete with Your Friend

If you catch yourself trying to outshine your friend or subtly one-up them when their girlfriend is around, stop. Competing for her attention or trying to position yourself as “better” than your friend is a sure way to ruin your friendship.

It’s manipulative, and it puts her in an awkward position. Your friend likely trusts you, so trying to undermine their relationship is not only disloyal but also disrespectful. Remember, just because you have a crush doesn’t mean you should act selfishly.

3. Don’t Isolate Yourself Completely

Avoiding your friend and their girlfriend entirely might seem like the easiest solution, but it’s not always the healthiest one. Cutting off your friendship without explanation could lead to confusion or hurt feelings, especially for your friend. [Read: Friendship breakup: Why it hurts when friends leave & truths to get over it]

Instead of disappearing, try to set boundaries with yourself to create emotional distance without ghosting your social circle. A crush on a friend’s girlfriend is manageable, but isolating yourself can make the situation feel worse than it needs to be.

4. Don’t Gossip or Involve Others

Talking about your crush with mutual friends or people in your social group is a terrible idea. Gossip spreads quickly and can lead to misunderstandings, awkwardness, or even outright drama.

The last thing you want is for your friend or their girlfriend to hear about your feelings from someone else. Keep your emotions to yourself or confide in a neutral, trusted person who has no connection to the situation, like a therapist. Protecting everyone’s privacy is key to handling this maturely.

5. Don’t Flirt with Her

Flirting with your friend’s girlfriend is crossing a line—period. Whether it’s through teasing, compliments, or playful banter, flirting could give her mixed signals and make things messy.

She might feel uncomfortable, or worse, it could harm her relationship with your friend. It’s tempting to seek her attention when you have a crush on a friend’s girlfriend, but doing so is unfair to everyone involved. Respect her boundaries and her commitment to your friend.

6. Don’t Sabotage Their Relationship

No matter how strong your feelings are, don’t do anything that could mess up their relationship. This means no badmouthing your friend, pointing out their flaws, or trying to create tension between them. It’s not fair to anyone involved, and honestly, it’s not a good look for you. [Read: Seeing signs your friends are ruining your relationship? 41 things to know]

If you try to manipulate the situation, it could backfire in a way that leaves you looking untrustworthy and damages your friendships permanently. A crush on your friend’s girlfriend doesn’t give you the right to stir up trouble. Keep your integrity intact and let their relationship run its course without interference.

7. Don’t Overanalyze Her Behavior

It’s so easy to overthink every smile, laugh, or nice thing she does for you, but don’t go there. Just because she’s kind to you doesn’t mean there’s anything more behind it. Overanalyzing her actions will only drive you crazy and could lead to awkward misunderstandings.

She’s with your friend, and her behavior is probably just her being polite or friendly. Don’t let your imagination convince you otherwise. Keep it real, and don’t let your feelings trick you into seeing something that’s not there.

8. Don’t Use Alcohol or Drugs as an Excuse

If you’re at a party or hanging out in a social setting where drinking is involved, don’t let alcohol be the reason you do something you’ll regret. It’s easy to lose inhibitions when you’re drinking, but that’s not a free pass to flirt with her, confess your feelings, or cross a line. [Read: Sober reasons why drunken sex is never a good idea]

You’ll just make things messier for everyone, including yourself. If you know you’re in a situation where emotions and alcohol might mix, it’s better to stay in control. Your crush on your friend’s girlfriend isn’t an excuse to act impulsively.

9. Don’t Blame Her for Your Feelings

It’s not her fault that you have a crush. She didn’t ask for this, and it’s unfair to be frustrated or resentful toward her. Blaming her for your feelings will only make things more difficult, and honestly, it’s just not fair.

Your emotions are your responsibility, and it’s up to you to handle them in a mature way. She’s simply living her life, and it’s important to remember that she didn’t do anything wrong. Take accountability for how you feel and focus on moving forward without projecting those feelings onto her.

10. Don’t Let It Consume You

It’s okay to feel upset or conflicted for a little while but don’t let this crush take over your entire life. If you spend all your time thinking about her, replaying moments in your head, or obsessing over what could’ve been, you’ll only make it harder on yourself. [Read: How to stop obsessing over a girl: Steps to stop losing yourself]

A crush on a friend’s girlfriend doesn’t define you, and it shouldn’t dominate your every thought. Keep perspective and remind yourself that this is just a temporary feeling. You’ve got so much more going on in your life—don’t let this situation take away from that.

What To Do Instead

If you’re struggling with a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, it’s important to take thoughtful steps to handle the situation in a way that respects everyone involved.

Acting impulsively or letting your emotions take over isn’t the answer. Instead, here are 10 things you should consider doing to navigate this tricky situation responsibly and maturely.

1. Focus on Your Friendship

Your friendship with your pal should be your priority. A crush on your friend’s girlfriend can cloud your perspective, but reminding yourself of how much your friend means to you can help you stay grounded.

Think about the trust and support you’ve shared over the years and how important it is to preserve that bond. By keeping your focus on the friendship, you’ll be less likely to act on your feelings or damage the relationship.

Use this time to strengthen your connection with your friend and remember why they’re worth prioritizing. [Read: True friendship: 37 real friend traits & what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

2. Limit Contact with Her

It’s not easy, but creating some distance between you and your friend’s girlfriend is one of the most effective ways to deal with your feelings. Spending less time around her reduces the chances of deepening your attraction and gives you space to process your emotions.

This doesn’t mean cutting her out completely—just set boundaries, like declining unnecessary hangouts where she’ll be present. Managing your proximity to her will help you avoid fueling the crush and keep things respectful toward your friend.

3. Redirect Your Energy

When you’re fixated on someone you can’t have, channeling that emotional energy into something productive can make a big difference. Focus on hobbies, personal goals, or learning something new. [Read: 43 really fun things to do at home when you’re bored, broke and alone]

Use this as an opportunity to grow, whether that’s hitting the gym, picking up a new skill, or diving into a creative project. Not only will this help you take your mind off your crush on your friend’s girlfriend, but it will also give you a sense of accomplishment and personal progress.

4. Practice Gratitude

Take a moment to appreciate the positive aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your crush. Be thankful for your friendship, your support system, and the good things happening in your life.

Gratitude shifts your mindset and helps you avoid obsessing over what you can’t have. By focusing on what you do have, you’ll create emotional distance from your crush on your friend’s girlfriend and start to feel more grounded.

5. Spend More Time Meeting New People

One of the best ways to move past a crush on a friend’s girlfriend is to meet other people and expand your social circle. Put yourself in situations where you can connect with potential romantic interests—whether that’s through dating apps, social events, or hobbies that involve group activities. [Read: 27 fun ways to make new friends & mistakes to avoid + the best social apps]

Meeting new people can help you see that your crush isn’t the only person out there who’s worth getting to know. The more you focus on building connections with others, the easier it will be to let go of feelings for her.

6. Confide in Someone You Trust

Sometimes, it helps to talk about your feelings with a neutral party who can offer advice or simply listen without judgment. Choose someone outside your immediate friend group—maybe a mentor, sibling, or therapist—who won’t spread what you share.

Talking through your crush on your friend’s girlfriend can give you clarity and help you process your emotions in a constructive way. It’s important, though, to keep the conversation private and avoid gossiping or creating drama.

7. Set Clear Emotional Boundaries

Being honest with yourself about your feelings is key to handling this situation maturely. Set boundaries for your thoughts and actions, like deciding not to fantasize about what “could be” or shutting down inappropriate thoughts. [Read: 32 truths to emotionally detach from someone & not feel hurt anymore]

Emotional boundaries also mean reminding yourself that she’s off-limits and respecting her relationship with your friend. The more you focus on controlling your internal dialogue, the easier it will be to move past your crush on your friend’s girlfriend.

8. Give Yourself Time

Feelings don’t disappear overnight, and that’s okay. Acknowledging your emotions without judgment is an important step in letting them go. Be patient with yourself and recognize that it’s normal to feel conflicted for a while.

Over time, as you redirect your attention and focus on other areas of your life, your crush on your friend’s girlfriend will fade. Remember, you’re working toward a resolution, and healing takes time.

9. Avoid Overthinking Interactions

As we already discussed above, overanalyzing every conversation, smile, or glance will only make things harder. It’s easy to fall into the trap of overthinking her behavior and reading into it, but doing so just feeds your crush and keeps you stuck in a cycle of longing.

Treat your interactions with her as casual and normal, and remind yourself that her kindness or friendliness doesn’t mean anything romantic. Keeping things in perspective is crucial to managing your emotions effectively.

10. Focus on Building Your Own Happiness

Ultimately, the best way to move past a crush on your friend’s girlfriend is to focus on creating your own joy and fulfillment. Spend time doing things you love, strengthening other friendships, and pursuing goals that matter to you. [Read: 52 happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself & feel better]

The more you focus on your personal growth and happiness, the less space your crush will occupy in your life. This process won’t happen instantly, but building a meaningful and happy life for yourself will naturally help you move forward.

Is It Worth the Risk? *A Reality Check*

You might be caught up in the idea of being with her, imagining what it would be like if things were different. But before you go down that road, it’s time for a serious reality check.

Acting on a crush on a friend’s girlfriend isn’t just about your feelings—it’s about your friend, her, and the potential consequences for everyone involved. Here’s a checklist to help you weigh whether it’s worth risking everything for this crush.

1. Friendship vs. Temporary Feelings

Ask yourself: is your friendship worth jeopardizing over something that might just be a fleeting crush? A close friendship is built on trust and mutual respect, and acting on your feelings could destroy that.

Friendships often outlast romantic relationships, and what feels overwhelming right now might fade in a few weeks or months. It’s not easy to move past a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, but sacrificing a strong bond with your friend for something temporary could leave you with lasting regret. [Read: How to be a good friend: 49 traits & friend codes that define a real pal]

2. The Girlfriend’s Perspective

Consider her feelings and situation. She’s in a committed relationship with your friend, and there’s a good chance she doesn’t see you the way you see her. Acting on your crush on your friend’s girlfriend could put her in an uncomfortable position, especially if she values her relationship and her trust in you as her boyfriend’s friend.

Even if she’s kind or friendly toward you, it doesn’t mean she shares your feelings. By respecting her boundaries, you’re also showing maturity and care for her well-being.

3. Long-Term Consequences

Think about what happens if you act on your crush. Your friend will likely feel betrayed, and it could permanently damage your relationship with them. Even if things don’t escalate, the trust between you might never fully recover.

On top of that, your friend’s girlfriend might feel awkward around you in the future, creating unnecessary tension in your social circle. Is a moment of indulgence really worth the potential fallout?

A crush on your friend’s girlfriend might seem intense now, but the long-term damage to your friendships and reputation could be far worse.

4. Are You Prepared for the Guilt?

If you cross a line, you might feel guilt or shame for putting your feelings above the trust of your friend. Acting on a crush on a friend’s girlfriend could lead to lingering regret, especially if your actions harm their relationship. [Read: 33 truths to overcome regret, deal with our bad choices & learn from it]

Imagine how you’ll feel if your crush doesn’t lead to anything and you’re left with a damaged friendship and strained social connections. Guilt can be heavy, and avoiding that burden is worth considering.

5. Will This Actually Make You Happy?

Acting on your feelings might seem like a solution, but will it truly bring you happiness? Even if, by some chance, she reciprocates your feelings, starting a relationship in this context would likely be full of tension, guilt, and mistrust.

A relationship built on betrayal often struggles to last. When you have a crush on your friend’s girlfriend, it’s easy to romanticize the idea of being with her, but the reality is rarely as perfect as you imagine.

6. Do You Value Your Reputation?

Think about how your actions might affect how others view you. If word spreads that you acted on your crush on your friend’s girlfriend, it could damage your reputation in your social circle or even beyond.

People might question your loyalty, your respect for boundaries, and your ability to be trusted. Protecting your integrity is important, and keeping your feelings in check can help you maintain that. [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]

7. Can You Handle the Emotional Fallout?

Getting involved with your friend’s girlfriend could lead to messy emotions for everyone involved. Your friend might feel betrayed, she might feel awkward or hurt, and you could end up feeling isolated.

Are you prepared to deal with the emotional fallout, not just for yourself but for everyone else too? Managing your feelings now can save you from a lot of unnecessary pain in the long run.

8. Are You Acting Out of Loneliness or Impulse?

Sometimes, a crush on your friend’s girlfriend can feel intense because of factors unrelated to her—like your own feelings of loneliness or boredom.

Think about whether your emotions are coming from a genuine connection with her or simply a reaction to something missing in your own life. Acting impulsively could make things worse and leave you regretting decisions made in the heat of the moment. [Read: The 3 stages to embrace and overcome loneliness]

9. What Would You Advise a Friend in This Situation?

If one of your friends came to you with the same problem, what would you tell them? Chances are, you’d advise them to step back, respect the boundaries of the relationship, and focus on their own life.

Taking a step outside your own feelings and viewing the situation objectively can give you a clearer perspective. A crush on your friend’s girlfriend is complicated as you’re clouded with your emotions, but sometimes thinking about it from the outside helps you make better decisions.

10. Can You Forgive Yourself if You Mess Up?

Lastly, think about how you’ll feel about yourself if things go wrong. Will you be able to forgive yourself for hurting your friend or creating chaos in their relationship?

Acting on a crush on a friend’s girlfriend often leads to regret, especially if you know deep down it’s not the right thing to do. Protecting your friendship, your integrity, and your peace of mind is worth more than any temporary satisfaction.

Feelings Are Just That—Feelings

Does having a crush mean you’re obligated to act on it? Absolutely not. Feelings are just that—feelings. It’s what you choose to do about them that really matters. This is a time to reflect, take a step back, and figure out how to navigate this without hurting anyone, including yourself.

[Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

Having a crush on a friend’s girlfriend is a tough position to be in, but it’s not an impossible situation. With honesty *with yourself,* boundaries, and respect for your friend and their relationship, you can deal with these feelings in a way that protects what matters most: your friendship and integrity.

The post Crush on a Friend’s Girlfriend? 40 Tips to Avoid Making Things Messy is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Stop Liking Someone: 37 Painful Realities of Letting Go

Knowing how to stop liking someone is a lot easier said than done but you can find a way to move on.

Unrequited love is just the worst, isn’t it? Learning how to stop liking someone isn’t fun or easy, dreadful even, but it is possible. However, if you have spent weeks or even months building up feelings for this person, it’s going to be hard to stop liking them. This is true even when you find out your feelings are not reciprocated.

But you have to stop liking them. And you have to remember that life goes on. A single rejection is nothing to dwell on. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have: Ways to accept unreciprocated love]

The Pain of Rejection and Letting Go

Being in the position where you have to let go of someone, for whatever reason, definitely sucks. There’s not quite enough words to describe how awful it feels.

Rejection hits hard because it triggers the same areas of the brain involved in physical pain—yep, science backs that up! A study published in The Journal of Neurophysiology found that the brain reacts to social rejection in a similar way to how it processes physical injuries. No wonder it feels like your chest is in a vice when you’re trying to stop liking someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

Rejection doesn’t mean you are unlovable or a failure. Sometimes people won’t like you for reasons totally beyond your control—and that’s okay. Rejection is a normal and healthy part of dating.

Learning how to stop liking someone you can’t have isn’t easy, but it’s a life skill that will benefit you so much in the long run. You’ll figure out how to move on, heal, and eventually meet someone who can return your feelings with the same intensity.

It’s absolutely valid to feel the sting of unrequited love. That pain is real, and there’s no shame in taking time to process it. But here’s the truth: to reach the other side, where you feel lighter and ready for new opportunities, you need to push through.

Keep reading for practical steps to stop liking someone and finally move on to greener, healthier pastures.

Confirm Why You Need to Stop Liking Them 

In order to end this feeling, you need to know your “whys” first. You need to think about why exactly you need to stop liking them. Once you find out, hold firm to your decision to put them out of your mind as much as possible. [Read: 42 red flags & signs it’s time to end your relationship & move on for good]

1. Your Crush is Already Taken

This is an easy answer to why you need to stop crushing on someone. Sure, you can tell yourself that their partner doesn’t matter, or that your crush would be happier with you than with their current partner.

But ask yourself why you want to date a cheater. If your crush were to leave their partner for you *and that’s a big if*, what would stop them from leaving you for someone else? Do you really want to be the third party in a nasty breakup?

Save yourself the heartache. If your crush is taken, you need to stop liking them ASAP.

2. They Don’t Like You Back

Remember that thing about rejection being part of life? It may seem harsh, but the sooner you accept that your crush doesn’t like you back, the sooner you can move on.

If your crush was someone you often confided in, you might be tempted to tell them about how they broke your heart. You might even be angry and want to lash out at them for hurting you by not reciprocating your feelings. [Read: 46 secrets to mend a broken heart, heal & feel happy and whole again]

Don’t do that. Don’t lash out, don’t beg, don’t seek “closure” *it’s a myth, anyway*. If you want to move on, you need to accept that nothing you do is going to change the fact that they don’t care about you the same way you care about them. 

3. Your Crush Likes Someone Else

This is a tough one. Finding out your crush likes someone else can feel like being kicked when you’re down. You may feel like you lost a competition for your crush’s love. But you didn’t- try to remember that human relationships are complicated.

Just because your crush likes someone more than you, does not make you less likable. That just means you weren’t a good fit for that person. Dust yourself off and try again with someone more likely to reciprocate your feelings. It may seem impossible now but trust us, you’ll find one. [Read: 39 secrets to get your crush to notice you & stages to get their attention]

4. They’re Not a Good Partner For You

Okay, so you like this person, right? But ask yourself, what do you really like about them? What do you even really know about them?

When we find someone attractive but don’t really know them, we tend to build a fantasy version of that person and develop a crush. So in your head you two make a perfect couple, but reality may not be so kind.

The best way to learn how to stop liking someone is to realize that you actually don’t have anything in common. You might like the way they look– but if that’s all, that’s not really a relationship. 

There’s more to being with someone than having intense feelings for them. The two of you probably wouldn’t make the best pair, and realizing that helps you deal with the fact that you can’t be together. [Read: 78 good questions to ask people & be a great conversationalist]

5. Your Crush Doesn’t Care About You

Does your crush come over for booty calls, but disappears when you start talking about emotions? Does your crush like the attention you give them, but isn’t particularly interested in actually getting to know you? Then we are sorry to say that your crush doesn’t care about you.

Nothing makes you stop liking someone faster than realizing they don’t really care about you. If your crush doesn’t care about you, it’s time to stop liking them and seek affection elsewhere.

6. They’re Sending Mixed Signals

If someone is hot and cold with you, it can feel confusing and frustrating. Mixed signals are often a sign that they’re unsure about their feelings or not fully committed. It’s emotionally exhausting to invest in someone who can’t decide what they want.

To protect your peace and clarity, it’s better to let go and stop liking someone who keeps you in limbo. After all, you should direct your attention and affection to someone who’s sure about how they feel about you. [Read: Honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy and look to the future]

7. They Take You for Granted

If you feel like they don’t appreciate your time, attention, or efforts, it’s a sign they might not value you as they should. One-sided relationships are draining and often lead to resentment.

You deserve someone who sees your worth and treats you with kindness and respect. To stop liking someone who takes you for granted is an act of self-respect.

8. They’re Emotionally Unavailable

Sometimes, the person you like isn’t ready for a relationship due to personal issues, past trauma, or other reasons. No matter how much you care about them, you can’t force someone to open up or be emotionally ready.

Holding onto these feelings will only prolong your own emotional struggle. Easier said than done for sure but letting go and learning to stop liking someone emotionally unavailable frees you to find a more fulfilling connection. [Read: Emotionally unavailable man: 52 signs, causes & ways to make him love you]

9. You Have Different Life Goals

Even if the chemistry is strong, having opposing visions for the future can create long-term problems. Maybe they want to move abroad, focus on their career, or avoid settling down, while you want something different.

Incompatible goals make it harder to build a stable and happy relationship. If your feelings for them evolve to something more serious, then you’re only setting up yourself for a heartbreak.

10. They’re Already a Source of Stress

If liking this person is causing you constant anxiety, stress, or self-doubt, it’s a red flag. Romantic feelings should bring joy, not make you question your worth or overanalyze every interaction. Your mental health is important and something that you must prioritize. You’ll feel much lighter when you let go of the weight they’re adding to your life.

11. You’re Sacrificing Too Much for Them

When you start compromising your time, happiness, or values for someone who doesn’t reciprocate, it’s time to reconsider if it’s still worth liking them. Healthy relationships are balanced, and sacrifices should be mutual. If you’re doing all the heavy lifting while they remain indifferent, it’s not worth holding on.

12. They Make You Feel Insecure

If being around this person makes you feel less confident or causes you to doubt yourself, and mostly wonder, “Do they like me?” or “Do they find me attractive?” they’re likely not the right person for you. [Read: Insecurity in a relationship: 34 signs & secrets to feel secure and love better]

A healthy crush or relationship should build you up, not tear you down. Letting go of someone who undermines your self-esteem is a step toward protecting your emotional well-being. Remember, we must spend our time and energy with people who make us feel good about ourselves, be it a romantic connection or not.

13. They Display Toxic Behavior or Red Flags

If the person you like consistently shows toxic traits or behaviors, it’s a major reason to stop liking them. Maybe they’re disrespectful, dismissive of your feelings, or behave in ways that go against your core values.

Overlooking these red flags because of your feelings only sets you up for heartache in the long run. It might not be easy to take off your rose-colored glasses but toxic behaviors and red flags must not be excused.

How to Stop Liking Someone Who Doesn’t Like You Back

To stop liking someone, you need to treat yourself with equal measures of strictness and self-love. You must stop thinking about them in a romantic way and forgive yourself for how long the process is going to take. Because, depending on how long you have liked them, it might take a while. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself, and read on to learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have. 

1. Respect Their Relationship

If you like somebody who is already in a relationship, it can feel like you’re a third wheel that no one even knows about. Unfortunately, this is a sad situation of your own making and the only person who can put an end to it is you. 

Even though it may hurt that they’re with someone else, if they’re happily in a relationship, then it will be a lot easier for you to just stay away from them. Don’t wait around hoping for them to break up and begging for attention. You’re better than that. [Read: Side chick: 54 signs, reasons you’re not his main & how to walk away ASAP]

Besides, if you really like this person, you should want them to be happy. If they’re happy with their life and relationship, then you should want what’s best for them and look elsewhere for love.

2. Surround Yourself With People Who Care

A rejection, no matter how normal, can make you feel unwanted and alone. Try to surround yourself with people who care- whether that be loving friends or family.

Spending time with those who love you can help you remember that one rejection doesn’t make you less of an awesome person and that other people love your existence.

3. Flirt With Other People

Finding yourself pining over a person who doesn’t like you back? The best remedy might be to try dating again. 

When you are thinking about someone you can’t have, you idealize them. This obsession can take up a lot of your brain and trick you into believing that there is nobody as perfect for you as your unrequited crush. But this is far from the truth.

When you start dating again, you will realize that your old crush is just a person– nothing more, nothing less. Dating can give you perspective and maybe even help you find someone new! [Read: Single and ready to mingle: How to let the world know you’re ready]

You don’t need to redirect these intense feelings, just meet new people and see what’s out there. You’ll be surprised by what interacting with a stranger does for your confidence. Plus, you never know who you’ll find if you put yourself out there.

4. Indulge in Your Favorite Hobbies

When you want to stop liking someone, it feels like all you can think about. The best way to get over them is to keep yourself busy. Go skydiving! Run a marathon! Do something that takes your mind off of them and the fact that you can’t have them.

Try volunteering, redesigning a room in your house, or just deep cleaning your rug that surely needs it. While you’re out living your own life, you may even bump into someone new! [Read: 30 secrets to get over someone you love fast & not give a damn anymore]

5. Cut Off Communication With the Person

They’ve decided they don’t reciprocate your feelings… Now you have to leave them alone. Yes, that includes texting them and hitting them up on social media. 

This is hard, especially when you are feeling really down and just want a chance to see them. But you have to resist that urge. Don’t “accidentally” bump into them out and about, or tag them in posts on social media. These little moments only deepen your feelings, or worse, make you feel pathetic.

Seeing your crush often will only prevent you from moving on. Whether you work together or run in the same crowd, avoid them. This isn’t petty, it is for your own good. [Read: No contact rule: What it is, 29 secrets to use it & why it works so well]

6. Ask Yourself If You Actually Like Your Crush

You may believe that you really liked this person, but they do not feel the same way. Could it be that you don’t like them, but you like the fantasy version of them you made up in your head?

You don’t know all of your crush’s little quirks and habits. They might have some nasty, unpleasant personality traits you just glossed over.  

It’s time to separate fantasy from reality. One of the best ways to learn how to stop crushing on someone is to make a list of what you actually like about them.

If most of the items on the list are purely in your mind, only physical or not set in reality, you may realize these feelings aren’t what you thought they were. [Read: Lust vs love: 21 signs to know exactly what you feel for each other]

7. Let Go of Expectations

Just because things like this work out in movies doesn’t mean they work out in real life. Telling someone how you feel won’t miraculously make them feel the same way. So if you expect the person you love to reciprocate your feelings, you’ve set your expectations too high.

Don’t be tempted to tell your crush your feelings just to get “closure.” This is likely to backfire. You can’t make someone like you back, it’s just there or it isn’t. [Read: When you miss someone: 36 signs & things you MUST do to learn from it]

8. Control Your Thoughts

This sounds much harder than it is. Controlling your thoughts should be a gentle practice. Every time your mind drifts to that someone you like, gently bat the thought away like you are hitting a balloon.

Letting yourself obsess about this person causes you to fall deeper for them without even realizing it. In order to stop liking someone who doesn’t like you back, you need to stop letting yourself go there. Don’t dwell.

If your mind goes to them, just gently bat the thought away. Don’t be hard on yourself for struggling, but don’t give up either. Soon you will find you don’t think of them at all. [Read: 45 secrets to be more positive & fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]

9. Stop Stalking Their Social Media

You may have a thousand excuses for why you want to keep your crush on your feed. But the reality of the situation is that you cannot move on when you are constantly reminded of them. Staying in touch as friends or as a follower will only ruin your chances of moving on.  

Unfollow them, block them, or just hide their posts. It may seem intense, but it will be so worth it when you hit that first day where they don’t cross your mind at all. [Read: How to make your ex jealous & leave them begging for forgiveness]

10. Write a Journal

Writing in a journal is one of the best ways to work through your feelings. If this rejection is really bothering you, writing in a journal can help alleviate your pain.

It gives you a safe place to vent without fear of judgment, making you feel better overall. [Read: How to let go of a relationship: Things to do to walk away unhurt]

11. Let Go of a Friendship With Your Crush

A lot of times, when you are trying to stop liking someone, they are your friend. You don’t want to lose the friendship even though it is hurting you. But, why?

This friendship isn’t providing you with anything positive. It is only offering you pain. If you’re afraid to hurt them by ditching them as a friend, so what?

If they are a good person they will understand that you need distance to get over this hurt. Maybe down the road, you can rekindle a friendship but don’t bank on it. [Read: Cut people out of your life: Why it’s hard, 35 signs & steps to unfriend them]

12. Put Yourself First

Stop putting them first. In your attempts to woo your crush, you probably went out of your way for them, putting yourself out to spend time with them and maybe even doing favors. But now that you know that they do not feel the same way about you, it’s time to start thinking about yourself.

Put yourself first. Stop saying yes to them. You shouldn’t be talking to them at all, but if you work together you need to set boundaries. Help them when it is necessary for your job, but not just because.

Putting distance between you and your crush is the only way to stop liking them and move on.

13. Work on Improving Yourself

Often when we get hung up on unrequited love, it is because something else in our lives feels unfulfilled. Ask yourself, have you been taking the best care of yourself that you could? Or have you been putting all of your energy into your crush?

Now is the time to focus on improving yourself. Have you had a hobby you were thinking about picking up? Want to join a local runners club, or learn how to surf? Now is the time to do it. Maybe pick up a new workout routine or look for a new job.

When you start working on yourself it will build your confidence and help you forget all about your crush. [Read: Ghosting: What it is, 63 signs, reasons to ghost & how it affects both people]

14. Accept Your Situation With Dignity

The final stage of it all. To fully deal with the reality of you not getting what you want, you need to accept it. Yes, it really sucks. Yes, it would be SO much better if you could just be with them.

But you can’t. And the sooner you realize and accept this, the sooner you can move on and be happy with your life. You should be proud of yourself for accepting rejection with grace and dignity, for it is one of the hardest and most mature things a person can do. 

Signs It’s Time to Stop Liking Someone

The thing about liking someone is that we graciously wear rose-colored glasses, often ignoring the signs that it’s not working out. But sometimes, those signs are clear as day if you look for them—not in the other person, but in yourself. Here are signs that it’s time to stop liking someone, and why paying attention to these feelings can help you move on:

1. You Feel Emotionally Drained

When thinking about or interacting with this person leaves you more exhausted than energized, it’s a major red flag. Crushes are supposed to be exciting and fun, but if this one feels like it’s sucking the life out of you, it’s time to reevaluate.

Constant overthinking, second-guessing, or worrying about where you stand can take a toll on your mental health. This emotional fatigue is your brain’s way of saying it’s time to stop liking someone who isn’t good for you.

2. They Don’t Reciprocate Your Feelings

If you’ve made your interest clear and they’re not giving you the same energy back, it’s time to take the hint. Unrequited love can be heartbreaking, but clinging to hope will only prolong your pain. [Read: Unrequited love: 58 signs, types & steps to get out of unreciprocated love]

Your feelings deserve to be met with equal enthusiasm and effort. Recognizing this imbalance is tough but necessary to stop liking someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway.

3. You’re Putting Your Life on Hold for Them

If you’ve caught yourself rearranging your schedule, putting off personal goals, or waiting for them to “come around,” it’s a sign you’re prioritizing them over your own happiness, and that’s not healthy.

Your time and energy are valuable, and putting them on pause for someone who doesn’t appreciate it isn’t fair to you. They might not be a good fit into your life right now, and that’s okay.

4. They Consistently Disappoint You

Do you find yourself repeatedly hurt or let down by their actions *or lack of them*? It’s a clear sign something’s off. Whether it’s forgetting plans, failing to communicate, or showing zero effort, the disappointment adds up.

5. You’re Losing Confidence in Yourself

We already mentioned it and we’re going to say it again. If liking them has you doubting your worth, questioning your attractiveness, or feeling “not enough,” it’s time to take a step back. A crush should make you feel excited and positive, not insecure. [Read: Sense of self: What it is, 36 signs, tips & steps to raise it and feel great]

This is about you, not them—focusing on your self-esteem can help you recognize why stopping your feelings for this person is the best move for your mental health.

6. You’re Obsessed With Winning Them Over

Your mind is consumed by ways to impress them, get their attention, or “prove” you’re good enough. If that’s how you typically spend your day, it’s a sign your feelings are turning unhealthy.

Love and affection aren’t things you should have to earn. This mindset can lead to burnout and resentment.

7. You Feel Like You’re Not Being True to Yourself

When you start changing your personality, interests, or values just to match theirs, it’s another sign you’re compromising who you are. It’s normal to want to connect with someone, but not at the expense of your authenticity. [Read: 33 secrets to be true to yourself & signs you need to unfake your life]

Real relationships are built on mutual respect for who you truly are. It’s better to stop liking someone who doesn’t accept the real you than to mold yourself into someone else for their sake.

8. You’re Ignoring Other Important Relationships

Once you notice that your crush is taking up so much of your energy that you’re neglecting friends, family, or even yourself, it’s a problem.

Healthy feelings shouldn’t isolate you from the people who love and support you. When you notice this happening, it’s a sign that stopping your feelings for this person might be the healthiest choice for your overall well-being. [Read: 38 signs & traits of a happy, healthy relationship & what it should look like]

9. You’re Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison is the thief of joy. If liking this person makes you feel the need to compete with others for their attention or approval, it’s damaging to your self-worth. Constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. This cycle isn’t worth it.

10. You’re No Longer Excited About the Future

Usually, having a romantic interest makes you excited about life. If anything, their presence makes you see the world brighter. So when your feelings for someone overshadow your own goals, dreams, or excitement for what’s ahead, it’s a wake-up call.

You should never feel like your happiness depends entirely on someone else. Stopping your crush on someone who dims your light will help you rediscover what truly makes you happy.

It May Feel Like It’s the End of the World

It really feels like it’s the end of the world when we can’t have the person we like, especially when our emotions feel overwhelming and hard to control. It’s normal to feel heartbroken, frustrated, or even a little stuck. These feelings are valid, but they don’t have to define you or your future.

[Read: Feeling hopeless: How to stop feeling overwhelmed & see hope again]

You can learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have. No matter why they are unavailable, remember there is an abundance of ways you can deal with it and be happy! And you will be happy again.

The post How to Stop Liking Someone: 37 Painful Realities of Letting Go is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.