Worried about the bathroom situation after sleeping over at your guy’s place? Here are ways to get away with pooping at your boyfriend’s house.
It is truly amazing, some of the things girls will search on Google: how to do a fishtail braid, what hole do I pee out of, how to find my G-spot, and oh yes… pooping at your boyfriend’s house, how to be discreet?
That’s an embarrassingly real search that many girls have done out of desperation on their phones, while stuck in their boyfriend’s bathroom. The bad news? Your time is ticking away and the longer you’re in there, the more suspicious he’s going to get. The good news? There really are sneaky ways to go about pulling off a poop at your boyfriend’s house!
Did you know there’s actually a condition called parcopresis that signifies a social anxiety when it comes to defecating? Likely if you have parcopresis, you need a certain amount of privacy to be comfortable enough to do the deed. Still, just because you can’t or won’t poop while at your mate’s, doesn’t mean you’re suffering from a condition!
Let’s take a look at why you can’t seem to do the deed before we get into the ways to get away with a number 2 when you’re with your man. [Read: 28 awkward questions to ask a guy & weird, embarrassing ones not to]
The Relationship Dilemmas… and Pooping at Your Boyfriend’s House
Relationships, they say, are hard work. And by that, we mean it’s not just about planning dates, remembering anniversaries, or juggling schedules.
There’s also navigating those awkward firsts and learning to be comfortable with each other in the most intimate ways.
But here’s a curveball you might not have seen coming – the unexpectedly tricky dilemma of pooping at your boyfriend’s house. Yes, it’s a thing!
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s the small moments that can feel like big milestones. These tiny steps – from leaving a toothbrush at their place to feeling comfortable enough to be your complete self, bodily functions and all – are significant markers in your journey together. [Read: Signs you’re getting too comfortable with each other]
The seemingly trivial issue of pooping at your boyfriend’s house can actually be a litmus test for how comfortable and open you feel in this budding romance.
Let’s face it, needing to poop at your boyfriend’s house is a very human thing, but it can feel monumentally awkward. It’s one of those unspoken challenges that nearly everyone in a new relationship faces but hardly anyone talks about.
The whole ordeal can feel like a stealth mission, trying to ensure that this natural act remains as invisible and odorless as possible.
But why is this such a big deal? It’s about vulnerability – being seen *or smelled* in a less-than-glamorous state can feel a bit too real when you’re still in the butterflies-in-the-stomach phase. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up & 28 secrets to grow closer]
Navigating this situation is all about balancing comfort with embarrassment. It’s a dance of trying to maintain some level of mystique while also acknowledging that, hey, you’re human too.
Pooping at your boyfriend’s house for the first time can be strangely symbolic – it’s about crossing a threshold of intimacy that isn’t always talked about.
It’s a funny, albeit slightly uncomfortable, testament to how natural and relaxed you’re starting to feel around each other.
Why It’s So Hard To Do a #2 Around Your Guy
The simple answer? You’re a lady, and ladies don’t do such things! Or at least, that’s what we women want our boyfriends to think. We don’t pass gas, burp, have bad breath, and we certainly don’t poop. [Read: 21 girly stuff stereotypes & typically girly things not all girls like]
While maintaining a lady-like persona and maintaining mystery has been found to have a positive effect on long-term relationships, don’t let your bowel suffer for your efforts!
Remember grandma telling you not to hold it? Well, she was right. Keeping your bowels full for too long can have major negative effects on your body.
Another reason women don’t like doing the deed? It’s uncomfortable! You’re not in the privacy of your bathroom with your Cosmo’s and your air freshener.
Plus, you feel like you’re being timed, and the longer you take to get it done, the longer he’s left waiting and wondering what you’re up to. Plus, what if he needs to use the bathroom next?
What to Do to Get Away With It
It’s never an easy situation, especially if you’re still at that stage in your relationship when your guy thinks you’re the epitome of femininity. But here’s a foolproof guide to make sure things run smoothly.
1. Timing is Everything
Honestly. If your man is running out to grab some chips from the corner store, taking a smoke break, running downstairs to flip his laundry, or if he’s taking an hour for video games or a sports game, then use this time to your advantage. [Read: Boyfriend addicted to video games: Why he is, 16 signs & how to help]
Try to wait until he’s already used the bathroom, that way you won’t risk him going in after you.
2. Prepare Mentally
If you keep thinking that he’s timing your efforts, or that he’s going to come knocking at the door any minute, then all you’re doing is preventing yourself from achieving, and you end up wasting precious time. Do whatever you can to mentally prepare yourself for the deed.
3. Hide the Noise
Afraid your guy’s going to hear what’s going on in there? If you don’t have the luxury of a bathroom that’s far away from your main “hang-out” room, then you’d better prepare for the noises.
If you have a bathroom fan, turn it on. Turn the faucet on to mask the sound. Better yet, take your phone in there or turn some music on loud before you make your move. [Read: 40 fun and upbeat songs to groove you out of that funk]
4. Make a “Basket”
Another way to get comfortable in the bathroom is by making a carefully crafted basket or “raft” for your “leavings” to lay on. It sounds gross, because it kind of is. But it works, and that’s all that’s important.
Carefully lay down toilet paper in the bowl until it makes a raft in the water. This will catch your droppings and mask the noises without you having to flush a million times. Just be careful not to clog the toilet!
5. Take a “Shower”
Tell your guy you’re just going to steal his bathroom for a minute to “wash up.” Then, while you’re doing your business, run the shower or the bath faucet.
Not only will this hide any sounds and smells going on, but your boyfriend will likely buy your story and think you’re cleaning up to ready yourself for a romp between the sheets. Not only did you get away with it, but you became sexy in the process! [Read: Shower sex: Sexy bathroom secrets to get wet, make love & not slip]
6. Consider the Risks and Benefits of Hiding the Smell
So you’ve done it, you’ve flushed, and you feel like a whole new woman. But now you’re not sure whether you should try to hide the smell or not.
How do you do it? You can open a window, light a match, spray some air freshener, or turn on your Scentsy… but all of the above would risk him finding out that you’re trying to hide something, so make your move wisely.
7. Carry a Portable Air Freshener
Speaking of, invest in a small, portable air freshener or a bottle of essential oil spray that you can discreetly carry in your bag. After doing your business, a quick spritz can help neutralize any odors, leaving the bathroom smelling fresh. [Read: 37 girlish secrets to be more feminine & draw others with your softer side]
This is especially handy if you’re conscious about leaving any traces or odors behind after using the bathroom at your boyfriend’s house.
8. Create a Distraction
Creating a distraction can also be an effective way to draw attention away from your bathroom visit. Consider timing your bathroom break with an activity that involves some noise, like when your boyfriend is busy watching a TV show or doing some household chores.
The sound from these activities can provide a natural cover. This strategy allows you to maintain your privacy while doing number two at your boyfriend’s place.
9. Practice Regular Bathroom Habits
Maintaining regular bathroom habits can help reduce anxiety about pooping at your boyfriend’s house. If you’re regular, you’re less likely to be caught off guard when spending time at his place.
Eating a healthy diet and staying hydrated can keep your digestive system on track and being in tune with your body’s natural schedule can make bathroom visits more predictable and less stressful.
10. Have an Honest Conversation
Girl, he’s your boyfriend, after all! If you’re in a relationship where trust and comfort are the foundations, having a candid chat about bathroom needs shouldn’t be off the table.
We know, it might sound a bit daunting at first, but opening up about such a natural thing can actually bring you closer and ease any unnecessary stress. [Read: 50 best relationship topics & things to talk about in a relationship]
It’s all about acknowledging that hey, everyone poops, and that’s okay. Embracing this reality can create a more understanding and chill vibe for those times when nature calls at your boyfriend’s house.
11. Use Bathroom Visits as Breaks
If you’re spending a long time at your boyfriend’s place, use bathroom visits as natural breaks. It’s a good opportunity to have a moment to yourself, take a deep breath, and just relax.
What this does is it reframes the act of going to the bathroom from something potentially embarrassing to a simple pause in your day, making it feel more natural and less of a big deal.
12. Bring Your Own Toilet Paper
Sometimes, the comfort of using your own toilet paper can make a significant difference, especially if you’re someone who can’t seem to be comfortable pooping in another place. [Read: Sleeping over at his place? 25 first time must-knows & tips to do it right]
Having your preferred type or a brand you’re accustomed to, particularly if you’re sensitive to different textures, offers a sense of familiarity and comfort.
Keeping your own supply in your bag means you’re always prepared, adding a layer of comfort and reassurance when facing the daunting task of using the bathroom at your boyfriend’s house.
Other Ways of Dealing the Bathroom Blues
There will be some times when you get so caught up with the call of nature that it takes precedence of what your guy may think of you. Here’s how you can handle that.
13. Just Laugh it Off
If you suffer from bowel problems, IBS, or are simply sick of playing the number 2 game with your man, you just have to be honest with him.
You can easily use humor to brush it off. Remember, it’s all about tone. If you act like you’re totally cool with it, then likely he’s going to be cool with it, or at least get used to the fact that sometimes… you’re gonna poop.
Say something post bathroom break like, “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you!” or if he’s about to go in, give your cutest smile, put your hand on the bathroom door and say, “Downstairs bathroom, babe.” Handling the situation like this may even allow you to impress your man with your poise. [Read: How to make your guy laugh and love your company]
14. Use a Second Bathroom
This would make the whole situation a lot easier, so here’s to hoping your guy has a second bathroom. You’d do well to make that bathroom your own, even if it’s out of the way of the main floor or the bedroom. After a while, he’ll get the hint of why you’re going down there.
15. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
If your man doesn’t bring it up, perfect! If he does bring up your bathroom break? Give your best, aloof and sexy raise of your brow and say: “We don’t talk about that.”
This will help maintain a shred of mystery about the situation, and help you keep your feminine wiles, all while giving him the idea that your #2 is not to be spoken of. [Read: How to be mysterious & leave everyone smitten and craving for more]
16. Just Be Open About it, But Warn Him to Stay Back
If you’re on vacation, and you’re freaking out about the bathroom situation, you need to be open with your guy.
Whether at home or on a trip, you need to tell him that you’re going to have your “alone” time now, and he’d better not count the minutes, listen for the sounds, or go in there after you.
It’s Totally Okay to Talk About Bathroom Habits
Easier said than done, we know, but talking about bathroom habits, like doing number two at your boyfriend’s place, is an important aspect of any relationship. Here are reasons why it’s okay and perfectly normal to have these conversations:
1. Breaking Down Stigmas Around Natural Bodily Functions
Discussing bathroom habits helps break down the unnecessary stigmas surrounding natural bodily functions. Remember, everyone poops, and acknowledging this can foster a more open and accepting atmosphere in your relationship.
By normalizing these conversations, you contribute to a broader cultural shift where such topics aren’t seen as taboo or embarrassing.
2. Addressing Small Issues Can Strengthen Relationships
Talking about things like pooping at your boyfriend’s house might seem trivial, but it actually strengthens your relationship. [Read: 23 secrets & real life problems that make a relationship stronger]
Addressing small issues builds a foundation for tackling bigger challenges together. It shows that you’re comfortable sharing and dealing with all aspects of life, no matter how seemingly insignificant.
3. Encouraging Openness and Honesty in Every Aspect of the Relationship
When you’re open about bathroom habits, it sets a precedent for honesty in other areas of your relationship. This openness can lead to deeper trust and understanding between you and your partner.
Being honest about your bodily functions can be a stepping stone to being honest about your feelings and thoughts. [Read: 59 relationship lessons & honest love advice only experience can teach you]
4. Promotes Comfort and Ease in the Relationship
Being able to talk about pooping at your boyfriend’s house promotes a sense of comfort and ease. When both partners feel they can be themselves, without the fear of judgment or embarrassment, the relationship becomes a safe and comforting space.
5. Shows Maturity and Realistic Expectations
Discussing bathroom habits is also a sign of maturity and sets realistic expectations in the relationship. It acknowledges that both partners are human and have normal bodily functions. This helps in building a grounded and realistic relationship.
6. Helps to Gauge Compatibility
Your approach to conversations about seemingly awkward topics like pooping can actually serve as a good gauge of your compatibility. If you and your partner can laugh, be open, and feel comfortable discussing pooping at your boyfriend’s house, it reveals a level of ease and understanding with each other.
This comfort can be a promising indicator of how well you’ll handle other sensitive subjects in your relationship. Meanwhile, if the topic of pooping is already a point of discomfort or contention between you two, it might signal areas where your communication or comfort levels need some work. [Read: Relationship compatibility: What it is, 40 signs you have it & ways to improve it]
It’s about finding a balance and understanding in the most unlikely of topics, setting the stage for how you might navigate future challenges together. Who would’ve thought?
7. Prevents Awkward Situations
Talking about bathroom habits can prevent awkward situations in the future. Knowing how your partner feels about these issues can help you navigate situations more comfortably and avoid potential embarrassment or discomfort.
8. Enhances Communication Skills
Having conversations about less glamorous topics like doing number two at your boyfriend’s place can enhance your overall communication skills.
It teaches you to discuss uncomfortable subjects in a respectful and understanding manner, which is a valuable skill in any relationship. [Read: 31 communication exercises & games for couples and secrets to feel closer]
9. Sets a Tone of Realism in the Relationship
Finally, being open about bathroom habits sets a tone of realism in the relationship. It acknowledges that life isn’t always glamorous and that being in a relationship involves dealing with all aspects of life together, including the less pleasant ones. This realism can make your relationship more down-to-earth and genuine.
Everybody Poops!
Hey, everybody does a #2, and the sooner you get it over with, the better you’re going to feel – literally! So whether you’re still cleverly hiding your bathroom actions or you’ve gone the honest route with your mate, just make sure you get the deed done!
[Read: Relationship milestones: Dating highlights you should be proud of]
At the end of the day, pooping at your boyfriend’s house is a natural part of life and relationships, and handling it with a bit of humor and grace can make all the difference.
The post Pooping at Your Boyfriend’s House: 25 Girl’s Guide to Sneaky Bathroom Moves! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
