How to Deal with a Narcissistic Boyfriend and Protect Your Heart

Believe me, it’s definitely not you, it’s him! Learn how to recognize and deal with the narcissistic boyfriend who has stolen your heart.

Are you dealing with a narcissistic boyfriend and wondering what to do?

Love is a complicated thing. It’s rarely straightforward, never like in the movies. And Disney films? Don’t get me started! I grew up thinking some guy was going to turn up at my door on a horse, and sweep me away to live in a palace. Yes, I was deluded because in most countries that would be classed as kidnapping. And, no, he never turned up.

What I got instead was something altogether different.

I sometimes wonder why that prince never came my way, but for a while I did think I’d actually met him.

It turns out he was a frog, actually no, a toad. Whatever breed of amphibian he was, he was certainly no prince. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]

 Welcome Mr. Narcissist

You’ve probably heard the word ‘narcissist’ over the last couple of years or so, because it seems to be a buzz word on the block. What you might not know or understand is what it really means.

A narcissist is someone who basically loves themselves. They never do anything wrong *ever*, if something doesn’t go their way then it’s probably your fault, and they’re likely to spend their hours gazing in a mirror adoring their reflection. It’s not that a narcissist is vain per se, they just admire every single thing about themselves, visually and personality-wise. They see no downside. [Read: How to quickly spot narcissistic traits in a relationship]

For a while, usually at the start, you will think this too. You see, the narcissist is a professional deceiver. They will lie, cheat, distort the truth, turn everything around on you, and make you 100% believe that they are good inside, that they are the victim, that life is quite unfair to them.

The truth? A narcissistic boyfriend is just quite bad inside really, but the ironic thing? They’re also extremely insecure, and all of this is their way of covering it up.

Now, we shouldn’t make jokes about narcissism, because it is actually a personality trait which can be diagnosed by a psychologist. However, until that person sees their issue and seeks help, they’re going to wreak havoc on anyone who has the bad fortune to fall in love with them. [Read: The 20 right reasons to walk away from someone you love]

Why you will think he is Mr. Perfect

It sounds downright ridiculous to the outsider, but when you’ve fallen in love with Mr. Narcissist *obviously you didn’t know about the narcissistic tendency to begin with*, it is very hard to escape the narcissistic boyfriend’s grasp. They will be the embodiment of Prince Charming to begin with, but things will quickly change.

You won’t even realize he is a narcissist. You will think it’s your fault. Why? Because he will make you think that way. This is called gaslighting. Heard of that lately? Another buzz term, but one which narcissists use very effectively.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, manipulating someone into actually wondering if everything is their fault, doubting their own sanity of mind. [Read: The signs your lover is gaslighting and messing with your mind]

You might think this is extreme, but it happens time and time again. It happened to me, and I’m no pushover normally.

Generally speaking, women like to see the best in people. We search and search and search until there is no scrap of good left. Even then, we don’t like to give up. When you’re romantically involved with a narcissist, you can’t see their bad sides, you think it’s you, so how are you supposed to let go?

This is where your friends and family come in. Listen to them. I beg you, if you’re in this situation, listen to them. They’re not telling you these things because they don’t like him, they’re telling you because they can see what you can’t. You might even have a nagging feeling from time to time, but he’ll rope you back, because he can sense you’re on the brink of leaving. [Read: Hoovering and the games narcissists play to suck you back in]

Clever? Yes. But not in the end.

So, how can you finally find the courage to leave that prince who turned into a toad?

It’s brutal, but it works.

Break the cycle

Once you realize what you’re dealing with, be brave. Walk away. Break that cycle and realize that you do deserve better. You do, honestly. It might not come in the form of a prince on a horse, it might be a pauper on a donkey, but if he loves you and treats you right, what does it matter?

How do you break the cycle? You cut them off. Walk away, take your things, delete that number, block them on every social media outlet you have, and do not go back. [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]

You will start to regret it and wonder if you did the right thing, you’ll lay awake at night, but you are in the right here. Get a friend to steer you though those first couple of days to a week or even a month, and as your strength grows, the sense will come to you, and the clouds will clear.

– Delete his number

– Block him on social media

– If you have friends who might help him find you, cut them off too

– Keep your boundaries and do not listen to his begging or insults as you walk away *they will come, believe me*

– Do not give him any way to find you

That is how you cut off a narcissistic boyfriend. It might sound brutal but over the coming weeks to months you’ll realize that what they did to you was far more brutal. Cutting a narcissist off is the only way you will get away. Otherwise? They’ll talk you around and you’ll never leave. I tried it and went back twice. The third time was very lucky indeed. [Read: How to get a narcissist to walk away from you using the grey rock method]

Talk it out

For me, it felt like I was walking through fog. You know the feeling when you’re a little drunk and you can’t figure out which way is left or right. That’s how it felt for me, but I didn’t have any of the fun of being drunk to play it off against.

I couldn’t rationalize anything. I knew I had been right to walk away when I did it, but then the sinking feeling, the ‘oh my god what have I done’ set in. And I thought my friend would have to tie me to the sofa. Talking it out was the single only way I could gain clarity.

You know what the real truth is? Someone who has been in a narcissistic relationship has been emotionally abused. Emotional abuse takes time to get over, it leaves scars. So, talk and talk and talk. Talk until you can’t talk anymore. It will help to clear the fog and let you see and rationalize what you’ve done. [Read: 16 signs of narcissistic abuse you may have overlooked]

Realize that the future is going to be better

The hardest thing for me was realizing that I was in love with someone that didn’t exist. I thought I was over all of that, when I used to imagine personalities for the celebrities on my walls. Clearly, I was still a teenager in love with the Backstreet Boys!

You will slowly start to realize that your past relationship wasn’t a failure. You learned a lot about yourself and about what to not put up with in the future. There are a lot of narcissists out there, but don’t fall foul of thinking that every guy that comes your way is a self-absorbed creep to be avoided. Men in general can be quite selfish, but that doesn’t make them a narcissistic boyfriend. Give a new guy a chance, but only when you’re ready. [Read: How to break up with a narcissist]

A tricky subject with a happy ending

Relationships damaged by narcissism have no future. It’s that simple. So never think that if you’d stuck around, your narcissistic boyfriend would have changed. Believe me, a toad can’t change. A toad is a toad. There’s no kiss that’s going to transform him into Prince Charming, or Shrek for that matter. [Read: 11 counterblows to hurt a narcissist hard]

Getting away from a narcissistic relationship is hard, but it is totally do-able. I loved him for a long time after I left him, but I realized I was in love with a fantasy, not the truth. I hope that if you’re in this situation, you see the light too, and that my little tale will help you to finally find the courage to put yourself first.

[Read: Early warning signs of a bad boyfriend to watch out for]

So, to answer the question, how do you deal with a narcissistic boyfriend, you dig deep and you leave him. Lovely lady, you deserve so much better.

The post How to Deal with a Narcissistic Boyfriend and Protect Your Heart is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Baby Shower Invitation Wording and Messages

Baby Shower Invitation Wording & Messages: Maybe you just have known about the good news and thinking of announcing the... More

The post Baby Shower Invitation Wording and Messages appeared first on WishesMsg.

11 Signs of Being Smothered in a Relationship that Seems Like Love

Just as a big hug makes you feel warm and comfortable, too much of it can suffocate you. Understand these signs of being smothered in a relationship.

One of the immediate benefits of a relationship is the love and care you receive from your significant other. Each person is capable of expressing this love in many different ways. B there are moments of overdoing it and causing an adverse effect. When this happens, you eventually feel suffocated. Do you know the signs of being smothered in a relationship?

11 signs of being smothered in a relationship you need to know

Being smothered in a relationship is never a good feeling. It gives you little room for movement, makes it hard for you to be yourself, and you feel like a prisoner of the relationship.

These feelings of suffocation only evoke a single reaction from any person: to break free. However, being smothered does not happen all at once. It builds up from unassumingly small signs. [Read: How to understand the different types of insecure attachment]

#1 Your partner is taking over your social media. There is an unspoken understanding between normal couples that their partner’s mobile phone and social media account is their personal domain where they exercise a degree of privacy and control. Some make the grave mistake and try to influence or even censor what their partner posts in their social media.

There would be long Q&As of why you posted this photo, why you didn’t use this same app or filter, or why is this person messaging you or tagging you in posts. They often lead to arguments and getting out of social media completely. [Read: The good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to social media and your relationship]

#2 Your partner is unreasonably jealous. While jealousy may occasionally occur, getting unreasonably jealous with every single person your partner interacts can make you feel smothered. It reflects poorly on the overly jealous partner.

Additionally, there’s the emotional stress of constantly explaining the relationship you have with the people attracting your partner’s jealousy. [Read: How to walk away from the destructive energy of jealousy]

#3 You find yourself explaining every little thing you do. Overbearing parents make people want to move out of their house. In the same way, people won’t think twice about leaving a micromanaging boss. Sadly, some relationships are prone to end up in a similar smothering situation if one partner is overly dominant and controlling.

Under threat of a long argument, you find yourself explaining every choice and decision you make, and report every single detail that happens during the day.

#4 Your partner gives you grief every time you fail to spend time with them. In other words, your partner is excessively clingy. While couples would like to spend their time together as much as possible, both have other people and responsibilities that demand their attention.

The suffocation begins when your significant other fails to see this. They believe that your relationship alone is enough to fulfill your needs. They get angry or even accuse you of not putting effort in the relationship.

#5 Your partner gives little credence to your personal commitments. There are moments where other responsibilities demand our time and attention. Normally your significant other understands if a date gets cancelled or if you postpone your scheduled quality time for the day in order to take care of your personal errands.

However, if your partner is insensitive to the importance of your personal commitments and demands that you focus only on them, it feels smothering. [Read: The checklist you need to start your relationship off right]

#6 Your growing list of commitments are now including your partner’s friends. In addition to the already daunting responsibility you have towards your demanding partner, you find yourself committing your time to your partner’s friends and social circle. You’ll be required to attend their social functions. Saying no to these warrants an argument.

#7 You find very little time to spend on your own hobbies. Due to the time and attention your partner demands from you, you find yourself with little or no time at all to spend on the activities that used to give you enjoyment or stimulate your creativity.

Oftentimes, you’re coerced to take part in activities that you have little interest in. Obviously, you feel smothered. Getting cut off from your hobbies and passion projects is akin to having the air cut out of your system.

#8 Your partner doesn’t want you to spend time with your friends. Just like your hobbies, you start losing time you have to spend with your own friends. For your partner, their busy social calendar makes it unnecessary for you to go out with your friends. This situation causes you to lose your original support network and isolating you further. [Read: How to pull back from a smothering relationship and ignore the sparks]

#9 You start spacing out or get distracted when your partner is talking to you. With a suffocating partner, your mind engages its defense mechanism by wandering off. Your imagination kicks in and you drown your partner’s voice in the background until they angrily call your attention back to them.

#10 You come up with tactics to be away from your partner. You now deliberately come up with subtle tactics to avoid spending time with your partner. You’ve either lied about feeling unwell, a business emergency, or having slept off to avoid answering your partner’s calls. The relationship feels so constrained that you avoid your partner like the plague. [Read: The reasons you’ll feel so relieved after you break up]

#11 You consider breaking up. Just as our body’s normal reaction to the literal feeling of suffocation is to get fresh air, one of the clearest signs of being smothered in a relationship is the realization that your love life has become unbearable. You even consider leaving your partner. You cannot fight your instinct for self-preservation. If the relationship has done nothing but smother the life out of you, for your sanity’s sake, it’s only natural to look for the way out.

[Read: How to successfully break up with an obsessive partner]

Romantic gestures in the right amount and the right way can nurture your significant other. Overdoing it can trigger the signs of being smothered in a relationship and lead to a breakup.

The post 11 Signs of Being Smothered in a Relationship that Seems Like Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

8 Tips for Building Rapport with Anyone

If you want something from someone, whether it’s a raise or to let you play with their boobs, the best way to do it is through building rapport. Here’s how.

Want to get laid? Land a raise at work? Sell your car? For so many things in life, learning how to build rapport like a boss is one of the most useful skills you can develop.

In a way, that’s all “game” is – building up rapport to the point where women want you inside them, men want to be your best friend, and bosses want to give you more responsibility (and money).

There’s also something to be said about the power of “breaking rapport.” But that’s a topic for another article (like this one).

Most pickup advice is based on state-pumping flash game, which is meant to arouse sexual feelings and get a girl in bed quickly. The downside – this style tends to leave women with buyer’s remorse. After sex, they’ll feel a bit cheap and may not become a repeat customer. They’ll feel like you aroused them, but they don’t really “know” you – nor will you know them.

If you become an expert at building rapport, she’ll be more invested and addicted to your personality rather than just your sexual talents.

13 Signs He Wants to Say ‘I Love You’ to You But is Holding Back

You’re madly in love with your partner and you think he feels the same, so what are the signs he wants to say ‘I love you’?

If you’ve been with your boyfriend for some time, you obviously have some strong feelings towards him. Maybe you even love him. And he may feel the exact same thing as you, but he hasn’t verbalized it yet. But as women, we’re trying to figure out if they do love us. Well, worry no further. There are some obvious signs he wants to say ‘I love you’.

The clearest signs he wants to say ‘I love you’ you to

The biggest part of a relationship is when it’s that moment when you’re wanting to take it to the next step. No, not being exclusive. I’m talking about the step after that—you know, the big three words. No one wants to be the first one to say I love you.

Of course, it’s a beautiful thing to say to someone, but people are just scared to say it. They’re worried of rejection or ruining the relationship. ‘I love you’ automatically takes your relationship to the next level. And the signs he wants to say ‘I love you’ may be more obvious than you think. [Read: Does he love me? 20 really easy ways to read his mind in no time]

#1 The way he looks at you. Of course, we all look at each other, but when a guy loves you, he gives you a specific look. You see their eyes are full of warmth and love. They may smile at the same time, but it’s a small, intimate smile to pay attention if you want to catch it. If his eyes say, “you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met” then he loves you. [Read: 35 not-so-obvious things your man adores about you]

#2 He sees you. Okay, he sees you. But what I mean that he really sees you. He notices things about you that no one else pays attention to. He sees how you act around others, what makes you cranky, how to process things, and what makes you happy.

If he loves you, he pays attention to all these things. He wants to understand you and make you happy. [Read: Answers to what makes a good relationship]

#3 He keeps you involved in his life. If he didn’t care, then he wouldn’t update you on what’s happening in his life. If he likes telling you about his day *without you asking* then he considers you as someone important in his life. When a guy loves you, they won’t leave you out of the loop. 

#4 He misses you when you’re not around. Men aren’t like women. We fall in love with them when they’re around. However, men fall in love with women usually when they’re not present. When you’re separated from him, he’s able to appreciate the little things about you. If he tells you he missed you or reaches out when you’re away, he loves you. 

#5 He is a part of your life. There are some relationships where you’re with them, but you’re not really with them if you get what I mean. Sure, you guys have sex and go out on weekends. It just doesn’t feel like a real relationship. If he loves you, he’ll make himself a part of your life. This means he’s hanging out with your friends and family, cooking dinners with you, falling asleep with you in bed. [Read: 25 signs he really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]

#6 You’re number one. Now, his life doesn’t revolve around you and should never revolve around you. While you shouldn’t become the only thing in his life, he does prioritize you.

Yes, he has work, school, family, and friends but makes the time in his day to talk to and see you. When a man loves you, he’ll make sure the person he loves has a special place in his life.

#7 He doesn’t give up. Listen, women can be annoying and a pain in the ass at times. *It’s time to be honest, we’re not perfect.* But no matter what fights you have or annoying you can be in some moments, he’s right there. He puts himself 100% into the relationship and fights to make it work. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t want to try anymore.

#8 He makes verbal hints. Though he’s not exactly telling you that he loves you, he says it. He hints at it, talking around the three words, but basically explaining how he feels which would be described as love. Listen, he loves you. He’s scared. It’s frustrating, and if you’re getting tired of listening to him, then just be the first one to say it. [Read: Heartfelt signs now is the time to say I love you]

#9 He wants you to sleep over at his place. Okay, if it’s just a rare occasion that you sleep over, maybe not. But if he asks you to stay over more and more, you have your own toothbrush and drawer by the bed, he’s slowly transitioning to you living with him. He wants it. He wants it bad, but he’s scared to be direct.

#10 He’s there when it’s inconvenient. In relationships, it’s not always smooth sailing. There are going to be rough patches you experience. If he’s there with you through those moments, he loves you. If he bails whenever you’re going through some troubles, then he’s not ready to say ‘I love you.’

#11 He asks to make it more serious. Ah yes, though you’re already dating each other, he wants to take the relationship to the next level. Even if you’re exclusive, he wants to push the relationship to the next level. Though he may be scared to tell you that he loves you, the fact he wants more from the relationship shows how he feels about you.

#12 He smiles for no reason. If you’re eating a sandwich or talking about your dog and your boyfriend is smiling at you, he’s head-over-heels for you. You’ll notice that he’s gazing at you with big eyes and a wide smile, well, he’s done. He’s in love with you and that’s that! [Read: 17 gestures that are louder than words when it comes to love]

#13 He does nice things for you. He doesn’t have to go out of his way to do things for you. You never have to ask him to help you, he just does it. He wants to make your life happier and easier because he loves you.

[Read: How to deal with saying ‘I love you’ and not hearing it back]

So, you now know the signs he wants to say ‘I love you’, do you think your man is wanting to say those three words?

The post 13 Signs He Wants to Say ‘I Love You’ to You But is Holding Back is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Online Dating Tips for Women to Super-Boost Your Dating Game

As an experienced online dater myself, I know what to do and more importantly, what not to do. So here are my must-have online dating tips for women.

Online dating is this entire world of confusion, fear, excitement, and unfortunately, dick pics. But, with some help, you can smoothly navigate that bumpy terrain without much turbulence. There will always be surprises, but if you follow my online dating tips for women you can keep them to a minimum and hopefully leave the online dating world behind.

What is online dating like for women?

Online dating is a minefield. Nowadays it is all swiping, saying “hey,” and never speaking again. In order to actually want to take online dating out of the internet and in person, a connection needs to form in the first few minutes of chatting.

If it isn’t there you move on. People need dating and a connection to be as instantaneous as ordering something from Amazon Prime or getting a pizza delivered. If you don’t hook someone quick, there is no catch.

And for women, it is even more difficult than that. Not only do we have to deal with average dating nerves, but we also have to fish through creepy mirror pics, cheesy movie lines, and guys who think asking for sex in their first message is totally warranted. [Read: Why online dating isn’t for everyone]

On top of that, we also have more pressing fears to worry about. Are we potentially meeting a murderer? Is this person really Jake, 28, from NYC with a dog named Pogo? Or is it Kevin aged 56 who lives in his mom’s basement with a puppet named Alf?

You are constantly battling your need to question everything with your desire to be chill and open-minded. You want to be safe but also spontaneous. You want to be vulnerable but also protected.

How do you make online dating work for you?

Must-know online dating tips for women

Without the help of an accurate psychic, you will never know exactly what to expect from online dating. You cannot exactly swallow down the nerves and just go for it. Your fears are more than not getting along, but could you also be at risk of being kidnapped and murdered? [Read: 13 reasons why online dating isn’t for everyone]

When you want to meet someone and work and friend setups are out of the questions, online dating is the logical choice. Sure, the likelihood of being stalked by a catfish is small, but it is a thought always haunting us.

Ladies, to make online dating work for you, use these online dating tips for women so you can learn how to keep your guard up and remain openminded. It is not easy, but you can do it.

#1 Be honest in your profile. Of course, you don’t want your profile to be a novel, but share enough to catch someone’s attention. Include something unique about yourself. I always mention that I’m a grandma at heart. I love staying home and baking and that seems to intrigue people who find it endearing.

Your photos should also represent you clearly. If you have group photos, it should be very clear which person you are in the first one. Crop if necessary. Your photos should be recent, decent quality, and actually show your face. Avoid anything too far away, with sunglasses, or intense filters. [Read: How to write an online dating profile and set yourself apart]

#2 Minimize your expectations. It is impossible to have zero expectations when online dating. You are hoping for something. You want a fun date, a relationship, or even a hookup. I get it.

But to get the most out of online dating, you need to expect the very least. Go in expecting to meet a decent human being. With that as your bar, it should not be hard to miss. [Read: Is lowering your expectations the best path to love?]

#3 Have a safety net. Have an out prepared just in case you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Have a friend call you 20 minutes into your date. And be sure to tell someone your location and the name and phone number of the person you’re meeting.

It might sound excessive, but it is better to be safe than sorry.

#4 Never invite him over. If you want to be close to home, meet at the bar around the corner or the coffee shop down the road. You don’t have to give your address or even where you live. Even if the date went well, I wouldn’t invite him over until you feel like you can actually trust him.

#5 Video chat before meeting. I know some people don’t like to do this, but I have met guys online both before video chatting and after, and after is always better. You get a vibe of how you will interact and a feel for the flow of the conversation. I also find that it makes your in-person meeting a lot more smooth and less awkward.

This is also a great way to ensure that you are not being catfished. If they refuse a video chat, you should not meet them. [Read: 13 easy ways to recognize a catfish instantly]

#6 Listen. We have a tendency to talk about ourselves. We want to share our interesting stories and what we want and are looking for. But, looking for a date requires listening too. And that doesn’t mean sitting quietly, but actually paying attention.

If you just respond too quickly, you aren’t processing what they said. Actually taking your time and focusing on your date will help you realize how interested you are.

#7 Own your confidence. When you are considering going from messaging to meeting, the nerves can take over and destroy your killer confidence in one blow. Try to keep your cool.

We are all nervous when dating, it is human nature. But just because your body is nervous doesn’t mean you can’t own who you are. Show-off your best assets, feel good in your outfit, and project who you are, not who you wish you were or who you think he wants you to be. [Read: How to calm the stage of first date anxiety]

#8 Have a go-to line. Online dating for women is weird. Do you reach out first or wait for him? I usually pick a dating app that requires the girl to message first. I find it is a lot less creepy than the alternative.

But going in with “hey” is not catchy or intriguing. If you want to have a decent conversation it needs to start with more than – hey how are you. It is a great idea to have a fun starter. You can use it repeatedly instead of the boring “hi.”

Most guys I match with tend to have a blank bio, so, I say, “That blank bio isn’t giving me much to work with.” This shows that I call them out and am teasing them a little, but also lets them introduce themselves.

After doing this for a while, you will also notice when someone’s profile catches your eye and sparks a new intro to mind. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site]

#9 Do not play hard to get. From the impression I’ve gotten, guys do not want a girl who is playing games. So don’t try to act disinterested. You downloaded the app and made a profile, so you already put it out into the world that you are looking.

Do not say I rarely check this app or always wait for the guy to message first. You are a strong and independent woman, you can make the first move. If you are interested, make it known. [Read: Texting before the first date – A complete guide to playing it right]

#10 There is no such thing as the perfect man. With all the options right at your fingertips, you may keep swiping and scrolling until you find someone that ticks all your boxes. But, remember no one is perfect. You will not find a guy that is your prince charming.

I am not telling you to settle for less than you deserve, but be realistic. Think about what you really need in a relationship versus what you think you need. Most of the time what we want is the exact opposite of what makes us the happiest.

#11 Mention your deal breakers. A lot of people say to keep things light in the beginning. Do not talk about heavy topics like politics or religion. I say get that out of the way now. You do not want to chat with someone for a week before you find out they have entirely different morals to you.

Mention things you know you cannot put up with right away. In my profile, I include the fact that I am not interested in smokers or Trump supporters. So, if you have deal breakers, share them right out of the gate. [Read: 25 most common and biggest deal breakers for women]

#12 Bring what you’ve learned, not what you’ve felt. This is one of the hardest things to do, especially with online dating. You are meeting this person for the first time with little to no information about them. You need to go in trusting your gut.

But, we tend to take our prior experiences and their baggage and our bitterness into this new adventure. Instead of pulling all of that into the booth with you and your date, only take what you have learned, not the feelings you felt. It can be difficult to compartmentalize that, but try to focus on what you do have control over, not what you don’t.

#13 Ask your friends for advice. Online dating for women is overwhelming. You have a lot to consider. If you are talking to a few people and aren’t sure who to meet or don’t even know where to start with your photos or bio, ask your friends for advice.

Have them help you set up your account. They know you best and how to boost your confidence. It is hard to sell yourself to potential matches, it can feel car salesman-ish. But, your friends are killer at sharing your best qualities, so let them take a whack at it.

#14 Be bold. Men are not the best at reading signs. You can try to be subtle and flirty, but guys sometimes need you to be blunt. Instead of hinting at the prospect of meeting, just ask him out. No need to beat around the bush. Take the bull by the horns and go for it.

What’s the worst that could happen? He says no, and you keep swiping. [Read: What to do on your first date of an online match]

#15 Don’t meet too fast or after too much time. When someone asks me to meet them after two correspondences I am so turned off. You know nothing about me. I could be a crazy person or collect human teeth. They don’t know. Some would say, well, you get to know each other in person. But, without even a little bit of a vibe of how you interact, even via messages, it is hard to create a flow in person.

Whenever I have gone from online dating to meeting without enough back story, things are awkward. You don’t have anything at all to go off of. Even chatting about about your favorite show or where you went to college can plant a seed for future conversations.

With that being said, waiting too long to meet can create a lot of expectations. Once you wait too long, it can be hard to make that transition from screen to scene. Try to meet anywhere from a couple days to a week of messaging for a good balance.

[Read: 13 warning signs to look out for in the first few dates]

These online dating tips for women should get you through the sea of dating profiles and out into the real world with less stress, fewer nerves, and more confidence.

The post 15 Online Dating Tips for Women to Super-Boost Your Dating Game is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Fast Baby Steps

Some guys slowly circle, other guys charge in. But if you want the most consistent results with girls, you'll do neither such thing…

It'd be nice if you could approach a girl, do a few things, and she just goes right to being your girl right after that, right?

Most women you'll meet aren't ready to go the moment you meet them, however.

Instead, you have to take them through a process.

You have to get them comfortable with you. You have to get them to follow your lead. You have to awaken their lusts. You have to create situations where they are alone with you and can slip into a more intimate interaction. You have to invite, and you have to lead.

The approach an ordinary man takes with women typically falls to one of two extremes:

1. He takes baby steps, but too few and too slowly. These men are the hesitant men, who don't want to blow it with a girl, so they go slow and walk soft. They stay well within the bounds of acceptability, but end up so tentative girls don't realize they like them, or if they do realize it, they find the guys too tame and aren't interested.

2. The other type of guy takes big steps, but rushes. These men are the aggressive men, who don't want to waste time on uninterested women, so they go fast and make bold moves. They cross the bounds of acceptability with many women, since these bounds are different for every girl and if you're trying to move bold and move fast (and aren't using much finesse as you do it) you don't have time to figure out where each individual girl's boundaries are. The result is men like this succeed with the women who were open to what they wanted and whose bounds matched their moves (a minority of women), while they blow themselves out or scare off the women for whom they make too many bold moves, too fast, or go too far out of bounds (the majority of women they meet).

It's better to be Guy B than it is to be Guy A, generally. Guy B at least will get some decent success with girls, even if he blows it with most of them. But you have to be a bit of an asshole to pull off the Guy B approach.

Guy A spends too much of his time pining away after girls who may not even realize he likes them, or do realize it but don't feel anything for him (and never will, since he never really does anything with them).

Both men are extremes though.

One moves too slowly and softly, like a seduction sloth.

The other moves too brazenly and rushed, like a seduction rhinoceros.

The way the most adept seducers move is neither like the slow-moving, soft sloth, nor the brazen, rushed rhino.

The best seducers move like a cat: lots of little steps, made quickly, before they pounce.

Blowing Hot and Cold: The 3 Stages to Explain Why Someone Does This

Relationships are confusing. When your guy starts blowing hot and cold, what are you supposed to think? Turns out, there are three stages to this process.

When your new lover starts blowing hot and cold it can be upsetting. First, you’re bound to start thinking ‘what am I doing wrong?,’ ‘is everything okay with them?,’ and worse still, ‘is there someone else?’

Most relationships go through the blowing hot and cold phase at some stage, but if it’s happening repeatedly, it’s time to stop what you’re doing and assess the situation.

Assessing the temperature

What do you need to know? Basically, this person is blowing hot and cold because they’re scared, and they’re trying to protect themselves. Perhaps they’ve been hurt before, or this is their first big relationship and that in itself terrifies them.

Whatever the reason, it’s a defense mechanism and doesn’t always have to reflect back on you. [Read: Why a man pulls away and what you can do about it]

Of course, it could also be that they’re just downright flaky, and they’re blowing hot and cold because they don’t know what they want, they’re toying with you, or they’re not sure if this relationship is what they want anymore. Can you see how confusing this situation can be?

The 3 stages of blowing hot and cold

To break it down, there are actually three stages to blowing hot and cold. It’s important to understand each one, so you can figure out which part of the process you’re at, and whether or not there is time or hope to salvage the situation.

#1 The first stage of blowing hot and cold. The first flourishes of any relationship are addictive. You get all that attention, everything is exciting, it’s all flirtatious, and you have constant butterflies. What could be better? The problem? It never lasts forever. [Read: How long before your honeymoon phase ends?]

The hope is that things just even out to a more comfortable level and the relationship continues, but what if it’s not like that? The alternative is that suddenly you notice dates are less frequent, texts take longer to reply to, or you don’t get a reply at all, and when he’s around it’s just a little… off?

It’s totally normal to wonder what is going on, and to probably think you’ve done something wrong. So as a result, you chase him. Big mistake ladies! Mark my words, I’ve done my fair share of chasing and it’s never worked out for me.

I always thought I’d said something he didn’t like, I’d accidentally insulted his mother without realizing it, or something else that I simply couldn’t put my finger on, but you know what? It was never me, and it’s not likely to be you either.

Your guy has suddenly gone cold. It might be tepid at this point, but the tipping point is whether he continues to go even more chilly, or warms up. [Read: All the reasons why chasing a guy never helps]

#2 The second stage of blowing hot and cold. If you go into the second stage, you’ve got a slight player on your hands. You’ll understand why when we get onto the third stage.

Stage two is a freezing of your budding relationship. He suddenly doesn’t text back at all, he starts cancelling dates, and there’s no ‘I can’t do tonight, but how about tomorrow.’ Tomorrow literally never comes.

By this point, you’re confused, completely and utterly flummoxed. What on earth did you do wrong? Whenever this has happened to me, I’ve turned myself into a jibbering wreck.

I’ve gone through every event in my mind with a fine tooth comb. Did my hair look a mess for a few days and he couldn’t stand it? Did I laugh at the wrong time? Is it because I didn’t wear makeup that one morning?

Seriously, I went through the smallest, most ridiculous details. You’re likely to chase even more at this point too. It’s not dignified, but we’ve all done it.

The bottom line is, if a guy has gone freezing on you because you had bed hair one morning, seriously, do you want him around?

By the end of this second stage, you give up hope. You realize that he’s a douchebag and it’s time to move on, so you do. You stop texting, calling, and you start going out with your friends more. [Read: How to ignore a guy that ignores you]

#3 The third *and most confusing* stage. Now this is where we see his true colors. He realizes that you’re not calling, and he’s probably been stalking your Facebook, noticing that you’ve been going out a little more. Then?

Your phone will ring, or a message will come in. He’ll want to meet up. It will be super-casual at first, ‘fancy meeting Friday night?.’ You’ll be so gobsmacked for a moment that you start doing that unattractive goldfish impression. You know the one.

What do you do? You might be keen to meet him to try and figure out what went wrong, to get some answers. Was it really you? Why did he stop calling? But, you need to think carefully here, ladies. There is a very good chance that this guy is a player, and these stages will keep repeating themselves on a loop until he literally drives you borderline crazy. Do you want that?

Okay, I’ll hold my hands up. I did meet the guy who did this to me, because I’m a curious cat, and I never know what’s good for me. The outcome? After a couple of weeks we were back at stage one, and then two, and by the time stage three came again I’d got wise to his games. [Read: How to handle the guys who ghost and come back]

Is there ever a positive outcome?

You might be reading this and shaking your head in dismay. Is this really what your new relationship is going to look like in a few weeks? While not 100% certain, the chances are high.

It’s probably not the news you wanted, I get it. But it’s best to know now, rather than wait until you’re a few months in, your heart is invested, and he suddenly drops colder than an eskimo in a cold snap.

You deserve to get what you want out of a relationship, e.g. warmth, companionship, passion, friendship, a feeling of being loved. Why would you settle for someone acting like a hairdryer with several heat settings? [Read: My relationship with a narcissist and what it means to love one]

Of course, there is always the possibility that something is going on in his life that he hasn’t told you about, like stress at work, and it causes him to act in this way. But if that’s the case, the cycle of stages won’t repeat. You’ll never find yourself back at stage one after the first time. It’s up to you to give a second chance, only you can make the right decision for yourself, but always be wary.

The bottom line really is this: a guy who is truly into you will not run the risk of losing you. If he does make a mess of the first time, he won’t risk it twice. [Read: Why you need to be slow and steady if you’re getting back together]

You’re hot then you’re cold …

Katy Perry’s song, “Hot n Cold” is something you must listen to, ladies! A guy blowing between temperatures is confusing and downright exhausting. Do you really have time to sit there and second guess whether he’s going to be all in that day or not? Of course not!

The best advice, in my opinion, is to focus on yourself and if Mr. Hot n Cold wants to figure himself out, he knows where you are. Whether you’re happy to put him on defrost is a choice only you can make.

[Read: Reasons why a guy might be playing hard to get]

It’s not worth turning the tables and trying it on him, because guys blowing hot and cold have less patience than us. He’s more likely to just let it go. 

The post Blowing Hot and Cold: The 3 Stages to Explain Why Someone Does This is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

30 Best Happy Work Anniversary Quotes With Images

Happy Work Anniversary Happy work anniversary my dear colleague! You have been with us only for a year, but your presence has brightened up the atmosphere in the company. We…

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8 Biggest Signs of Midlife Crisis for a Man and What Causes Them

The signs of midlife crisis for a man can sometimes catch him by surprise when he thinks he should be happiest. Here are the reasons for it.

They say a man’s life begins at forty. After all, it is a time where most men are settled down with a family, an established career, and a blissful retirement to look forward to. However, middle-age life may not be as idyllic as most would imagine because for some men, it is that time where the signs of midlife crisis for a man start knocking on their door.

Midlife crisis is an unpleasant phase in a man’s life. For most, it is a point where they feel they’ve spent all their youthful energy. They are on their way to the downward entropic spiral of old age. [Read: How to find yourself again after a low point in life]

What brings about midlife crisis for men?

Midlife crisis is brought on by a lot of factors. Initially thought to be brought on by aging. While age is a factor in experiencing midlife crisis, it is actually caused by a combination of changes in a man’s physical state, career, relationship with his partner, and his past experiences.

Midlife crisis usually happens to a man in his forties. But current studies show that it strikes as early as thirty-five or even creeping into his fifties.

#1 The physical signs of aging. One day, you notice that you catch your breath after going up a short flight of stairs. You’ll also notice the dad bod, greying hair and the receding hairline, along with decreasing stamina during sex. All these physical signs tell one story: you’ve passed the prime of youth and are on your way towards physical deterioration. [Read: Lazy things you do that are going to give you the perfect dad bod]

#2 Thoughts about his own mortality. Perhaps brought on by the death of a parent or sudden passing of a friend. Other times he experiences a close brush with death by suffering a mild stroke or diagnosed with something ominous. These alarm bells tell you death comes sooner or later. Time is running out for you to do the things that you want. [Read: Exercise benefits for your mind, body, and libido]

#3 Regrets on unfulfilled life goals. It is a fact that being an adult can be difficult. And it mostly takes its toll on a person’s dreams and goals. When dealing with responsibilities overtakes a man’s life, he has no choice but to put these plans and dreams aside.

The problems start when these unfulfilled dreams and goals haunt him. He thinks that he’s already too old, and it’s too late to be pursuing his goals.

#4 Feelings of inadequacy or uselessness brought by his age. At work, they pass promotions off to the younger guys because you’re not as tech-savvy or energetic. At home, your kids spend less time with you because your taste for recreational activities are kind of “boring.” These kinds of experiences make a man feel “left behind.”

Signs of a midlife crisis for a man

And like a disease, midlife crisis has symptoms that can be noticed through obvious changes in a man’s behavior, emotions, and interaction with his loved ones.

#1 Getting self-conscious about their appearance. They buy lots of “rejuvenating” products for their skin, get their hair dyed regularly, and consciousness about the way they dress are all signs of midlife crisis for a man, and a very clear sign he may be dealing with the reality of having passed his prime. They do all of these to fight back the obvious signs of aging and revert back to the “best look” of their prime.

When a man notices the physical signs of aging, he may become insecure and make efforts to try to slow down its effects. [Read: These are the steps to being attractive to women]

#2 Obsession with physical fitness. Normally, he just sits on the couch all day, but suddenly, he develops a fitness routine. Becoming obsessed with physical activity is also one of the big signs of midlife crisis for a man. It makes a statement to others that he can still do physical activities despite his age or working to preserve his healthy and/or body.

#3 Bouts of nostalgia in conversations. He always brings up the “good old days.” He frequently goes out on nostalgic pilgrimages to memorable places in order to reminisce the past. For men experiencing midlife crisis, the future is bleak and not worth looking forward to. Instead, they look back and savor the memories of the best years of their life.

#4 Depressive episodes. During a midlife crisis, a man’s emotional state is the most vulnerable. The feelings of inadequacy and regret towards his age make him prone to depressive episodes. He may have moments where he suddenly loses motivation to do the things he enjoys and disconnect from his social circle and family. [Read: How to deal with a depressed person in an honorable way]

#5 Desire to take up a new hobby. He suddenly decides to take up leather crafting. Then he gets tired of it and starts to build a craft brewery. After that, he joins ten other workshops for different types of hobbies.

Maybe he’s just bored, but this type of behavior could signal a midlife crisis. A sudden desire to take up new hobbies may be interpreted that he’s trying to look for a distraction from his current life and responsibilities.

#6 Impulsive behavior. Without consulting his partner or family, he suddenly decides to move to another state, spend life savings to buy a boat or a vintage car, or suddenly quit his job to start a business. When a man displays such impulsive behavior, he is undergoing midlife crisis.

Such decisions usually come from extreme dissatisfaction or boredom with their current life. He thinks that with these impulsive decisions, he still maintains control over his life. He’s not stuck waiting for retirement. [Read: 13 things men would end up doing in a midlife crisis]

#7 Loss of interest in the family. Initially, he’s a family man who spends time with the wife and kids. Nowadays his time is squeezed between work, his newfound hobbies, hanging out with old buddies, and a new fitness regime. He even barely sleeps with his wife anymore. When a man experiences a midlife crisis, he feels it less by distraction. [Read: The simple traits that make you an awesome dad]

#8 Grumpiness and hostility towards the family. During midlife crisis, a man blows up and vents his frustration towards his family. This may be seen as grumpiness or bouts of anger over little things. A man undergoing a midlife crisis may blame his family as a reason for getting stuck with unfulfilled dreams.

[Read: The traits of an insecure man that make people run from you]

The signs of midlife crisis for a man is characterized with regrets, nostalgia, and fear of inevitable physical degradation and mortality. If you’re seeing any of this in your life, have an internal dialogue and fix it, before you make your life feel worse.

The post 8 Biggest Signs of Midlife Crisis for a Man and What Causes Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

When You Truly Love Someone: Would You Really Do Anything for Them?

They say ‘true love conquers all,’ but do you agree? Are there limits when you truly love someone? And how do you even know if it’s the big L?

Love is a strange and complicated thing. It makes you feel sick, stops you from eating and sleeping… And all of this is supposed to make you happy! I’m painting a rather dark picture of what love is, because, of course, love is wonderful. When you find a connection with someone, there are few feelings on the planet which compare. You’d do anything when you truly love someone. Or, would you?

Do you believe that true love conquers all, as they say? I have a little trouble with this saying, if I’m honest. Do I believe you would really do anything when you truly love someone? No. Not anything. I’d do most things, but I wouldn’t do anything.

You’ll do anything for love… but not that

You might be too young to remember this, but in the early 90s, U.S. singer Meatloaf (remember him?) sang a little ditty called “I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that).” Exactly, Mr. Meatloaf, exactly!

[Read: How to describe and decipher the different types of love]

Most agree to considering anything for love, but actually going through and doing it is another thing altogether.

A person who truly loves you would never put you in a position that made you choose between doing something for them and doing something you didn’t agree with, or something you weren’t comfortable with. I know I would never ask my partner to go against their principles simply because of their love for me. If you do, surely it’s not true love on your side?

As you can see, love is complicated indeed!

Do you have boundaries in love?

You can look at this two ways. It might be that your partner isn’t asking anything of you, but you feel like you should. Maybe it’s something they can’t help, such as a health problem and they need a kidney. In that case, of course you’d do it!

I’m talking about things like breaking the law, going against your beliefs, or hurting someone else. These are things I would not do for love, because that would mean going against myself. [Read: These secret signs reveal you’re in a bad relationship]

What are your limits? Or, do you have any when it comes to love? It’s an interesting conversation to have.

When you truly love someone, how do you know?

When you truly love someone, how do you actually know it’s love you’re feeling? Love can easily get confused with lust in the first flourishes of a union, and it can feel extremely powerful indeed. For me, I know I’m in love when I get the sense that the other person’s happiness is on par with mine, or in some cases, perhaps more so.

That’s probably a controversial thing to own up to, because of course nobody else’s happiness is more important than yours, but when you truly love someone, there are times when you consider their happiness to be higher up on the priority list than your own. Right or wrong, we all feel it. Whether we act on it is a different matter, but for me, that’s how I know it’s the big L I’m feeling.

All of that ‘I can’t stop thinking about them’, ‘I can’t eat’, ‘I can’t sleep’, for me that’s not love. That’s infatuation, and it’s normally in the first stages after meeting them or starting up a ‘thing.’ Many people confuse that with love, but it’s totally different. Love goes beyond that, love means you would actually consider doing anything. [Read: 14 easy ways to tell the difference between love and infatuation]

This is why this subject matter is so important to discuss. Considering doing anything for love (there’s Mr. Meatloaf again), and actually doing it is the line between losing yourself and maintaining your identity. Again it depends what the ‘anything’ actually is, but you have to keep a part of yourself back when you are in any type of relationship.

Your partner should always want the same for you. You should want the same for your partner. We’re not supposed to lose who we are when we are in a relationship, we’re supposed to be an enhanced version! That is something many people forget.

Let me tell you a story

Recently, I’ve been a witness to this very issue. A friend of mine has been in a relationship for the last year, and I admit many of us have our doubts about it. She is with a person who is controlling, but she is so head over heels in love *or something* that she cannot see it. We support her because we are her friends. Recently, her partner asked her to quit her job, because the hours were making it difficult for them to spend a lot of time together.

Now, our friend loves her job. She has worked hard to achieve this job, and she is very good at it. Did she leave?

Shockingly, yes.

Her defense was that she had enough failed relationships in her past, she wanted this one to work. She said she could see his point, and that she could easily find another role which had less hours, which she enjoyed as much. She deemed the sacrifice worth it.

Now, she’s working in a similar job, but she doesn’t enjoy it as much. Plus, she seems to be home on her own more than home with her partner.

In this case, I do not agree with doing anything for love. [Read: Healthy relationship expectations to define a good love life]

What do you think?

Sacrifice shouldn’t be to the detriment of your life, and it certainly shouldn’t be one sided. Love is hard enough without adding in demands which take the joy out of the things you’ve worked hard for. It’s certainly not worth sacrificing your happiness for either.

There is a major difference between considering their happiness slightly more important than yours on one occasion, e.g. when you have to cancel a night out with friends because they’re sick, and doing it on a constant basis. Why should your partner always be smiling and get what they want, when you’re the one doing all the sacrificing and compromising? For me, that’s not love. When you truly love someone, you should never even consider allowing them to do this for you either. [Read: 16 discreet signs you’re being taken for granted by the one you love]

The ability to know when someone is asking too much of you and when it’s a natural thing you do when you truly love someone comes with age. Sad but true. When I was younger I probably did far more for my partner than I should have. I gave and gave and gave, simply because I was scared they’d leave me if I didn’t. I look back now and feel sad for that girl. Where was my self-respect? Where was my pride? [Read: How self respect plays a big part in your relationship]

I now know the difference between what I should and shouldn’t do in a relationship, and I think this is something which most people also realize as they have experiences which unfortunately cause a little hurt along the way.

[Read: The honest truth you might not expect to learn about true love]

When you truly love someone, would you do anything for them? It’s a real conversation to have with yourself. By knowing your limits, you’ll save yourself hurt and confusion in the future. 

The post When You Truly Love Someone: Would You Really Do Anything for Them? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Know if Someone Is Thinking about You Sexually & Desires You

You like them, but you’re unsure how they feel about you. Do they see you as a friend only? This is how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually.

You’ve met someone that you can’t take your eyes off of, but you’re not sure how they feel about you. Figuring out how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually will help you plan your next steps. If you don’t know, it can be a little bit of a problem, especially if you want to take the next step forward.

You’re sitting here with all these feelings and emotions coursing through you. You have butterflies when you see them, and your mind goes blank when they talk to you. We all experience these nerves around someone we really like.

The question is, are these feelings reciprocated? Or are you the only one who’s feeling this? It’s a good question to ask, and something to figure out for your own peace of mind. [Read: Does your crush like you back? 15 things you have to do next]

How to know if someone is thinking about you sexually

So, how do you know if someone is thinking about you sexually? Not all of us want to wait around to see. Many of us are impatient and need some hint that our feelings aren’t one-sided. So, it’s time we figured this out. Because, if you’re like me, the waiting and anticipation are killing you.

The good thing is sexual attraction can’t be faked. If the signs match up, then it’s probably true that they think about you sexually. This is good news, right? Right! So, let’s get started. Seriously, it’s time to know.

#1 You feel it. What you’re feeling is chemistry. When you’re around them, there’s this feeling that you are more than just friends. If you have a feeling that they’re looking at you in a sexual way, well, don’t doubt yourself so quickly. Your intuition is probably right. [Read: Steamy signs of sexual tension you can’t miss]

#2 They hang around you. When people are sexually attracted to someone, they stay close to their crush. But by close, I mean close. They want to be in your personal space. This is normal when it comes to sexual attraction. If they’re not into you, they’ll keep a distance from you because they’re not interested.

#3 They’re touchy. I’m not talking in a harassing manner. Whether it’s a woman or man, they love to touch the person they’re into… subtly. Maybe you made a joke, and while laughing, they touched your arm. See, if someone didn’t like you, they wouldn’t touch you. This is a huge sign to determine someone’s thoughts about you. People don’t touch people they don’t like. [Read: What does sexual tension feel like? This is how it feels]

#4 Eye contact. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: eye contact is everything. Your eyes can tell someone countless things. If someone likes you sexually, you’ll see it in their eyes. They’ll hold eye contact longer than usual and give you flirty stares. They’ll make sure to check you out whenever possible.

#5 They’re flirting with you. Okay, some people do flirt for fun, but even those people have an underlying attraction to you. People do not flirt with people they’re not interested in. It’s that simple. If they’re flirting with you, they’re trying to build sexual tension and chemistry. This is a great sign that you’re on their mind sexually. [Read: Friendly vs flirty – 12 hints to stop reading the wrong signs]

#6 They’re nervous around you. When someone likes you, of course, they’re going to be a little nervous around you. They don’t want to screw it up and ruin their chances with you. Plus, since they want you, they’re trying to calm themselves down and act as normal as possible.

#7 Lip licking. Who would have thought lip licking would be a sign! Even though it’s a subtle act, lip licking is a huge sign they’re sexually attracted to you. Both men and women will instinctually lick their lips when they see someone they like or are thinking about a sexual act.

#8 They try to prolong interactions. When you chat, even though it looks like it’s about to end, they talk more. They don’t want to let you go. It’s cute *but if you really need to go, it can be a little annoying*.

#9 They suggest hanging out alone. Maybe you usually hang out in groups, but recently, they’ve asked to hang out alone with you. Well, this one isn’t rocket science when it comes to figuring out how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually. If someone is thinking about you sexually, they want to hang out with you alone and create a connection, maybe even try to make a move. [Read: Are you just hanging out? The romantic signs you can’t ignore]

#10 They care about their appearance. Before they met you, they weren’t into their appearance. But since you have started hanging out, they’re more fashion-forward. They want to look good for you and impress you. Both women and men want to look their best in front of someone they like sexually. 

#11 They’re all smiles around you. When you hang out, whether alone or with other people, they’re always smiling. Both men and women smile a lot when they’re around someone they’re interested in. I mean, there are a couple of different smiles. You have the “boy/girl next door” smile and then you have the “I want to rip your clothes off” smile. Both are good. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

#12 They tell you. If someone tells you they can’t stop thinking about you or you’re always on their mind, it’s not because they think about you as a friend. It’s because they’re sexually attracted to you. They want a chance to make a move. 

#13 There’s a lot of fidgeting. When you’re next to them, they play with their hair, a napkin, scratch their leg. There’s always some fidgeting going on. This isn’t because they’re bored if that’s what you’re thinking. Rather, it’s because they’re sexually attracted to you, and they’re nervous. [Read: Signs of a strong physical attraction to drive you wild]

#14 Fixing themselves. Whether man or woman, they adjust themselves around you. If it’s a guy, he’ll move his junk around. If it’s a woman, she’ll fix her cleavage or hair. Since they’re sexually attracted to you, they’re nervous about what you think of them. Also, the guy could have a boner. Sorry, just had to say it!

[Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]

Learning how to know if someone is thinking about you sexually is a little hard to decipher, but by using these signs, you’ll be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

The post How to Know if Someone Is Thinking about You Sexually & Desires You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

35 Best Happy Birthday Uncle Quotes And Wishes With Images

Happy Birthday Uncle Happy birthday uncle! Aren’t you honored to have the best niece ever to wish you on your birthday? I know that I would feel honored if I…

The post 35 Best Happy Birthday Uncle Quotes And Wishes With Images appeared first on Events Greetings.

9 Stages of a Long Term Relationship Breakup You Have to Experience

The end of any relationship is hard. But there are stages of a long term relationship breakup, and it’s vital to feel all of them.

If you’ve recently broken up with who you considered to be the love of your life, you’ll no doubt be heartbroken. The end of any relationship, whether a few months or a few years, is difficult. But when a long term relationship has hit the rocks, it can feel like your entire future has fallen apart. And like a death, there are stages of a long term relationship breakup we all feel.

This is totally normal. There is not one single person on the planet who has come to the end of a long term relationship and not felt a little emotionally broken. Love is powerful. It doesn’t always work out, and while that’s little consolation at the time, you will get through to the other side. Honestly, you will.

Before you reach that point of recovery, there are several stages of a long term relationship breakup, usually nine in total. For real recovery and to be in a healthy place at the end of it all, feel and immerse yourself in all of the stages. Only by doing so can you process what happened, accept it, and move on.

Don’t allow your past baggage to hamper any future relationships you embark upon. Of course, at this point you’ve probably sworn off love for good. Believe me, that will change. [Read: Letting go of someone you love without the bitterness]

The common stages of a long term relationship breakup

 Let’s explore these nine stages in more detail.

#1 Denial. This is the part where you won’t quite believe that what has happened is actually real. You’ll either bury your head in the sand and convince yourself that it’s just an argument. It will turn out all fine in the end, or you’ll go through your days in a dream-like state, refusing to accept it all.

You’re a long way from acceptance at this point, and there’s a lot of work to be done. In the denial stage, it’s vital that you do not call your ex. Put the phone down. Let it be. Let’s just imagine that perhaps it is just an argument and it does end up working itself out, perhaps time is all that’s needed.

I don’t want to give you false hope, because in most cases, when a breakup is final, it’s final. Time is required regardless of the situation. Grieve the end of the relationship, and to do that you need to steer clear of contact. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule is the best way to move forward]

#2 Blame. At this point, you’ll likely start blaming both yourself and your ex. You’ll probably swing between both sides and blame them for everything they did and didn’t do. Then, you’ll start overanalyzing and thinking that perhaps you’re to blame because you didn’t do this, or you forgot to do that.

The bottom line is blaming yourself or blaming someone else isn’t going to change the outcome. Having said that, go through this as one of the stages of a long term relationship breakup, otherwise your recovery won’t be complete in the end.

The blame game can quickly swing between the next two stages we’re going to talk about, anger to extreme sadness. While in this second stage you’re likely to jump from one to the other and not really settle in either direction.

This is the stage when you’re really going to need support, so gather your friends and family around you. They will tell you that it’s not your fault, and whether or not it is, listen to them, because they mean well. [Read: The 10 quick pick-me-ups for the recently broken hearted]

#3 Anger. This is the stage in which everyone needs to watch out! You’re now angry. Your denial and your blame has turned to anger, and you’re seething. How could they do this? How could they walk away so easily? What has gotten into them? You’re raging, and you’re feeling hard.

Believe it or not, this is actually a good sign. This is one of the stages of a long term relationship breakup which actually shows progress. When you become angry, you’re processing your emotions. It might not be pretty to watch, and you might end up shouting at people for no specific reason, but at least you’re getting somewhere! [Confession: My 9 year love and the pain of ending the long term romance]

#4 Sadness. The anger will eventually subside and you’ll then start to feel sad. Very, very sad. Again, it won’t feel like a positive, but you’re starting to make extra progress by this point. You’re starting to head towards the point of acceptance, because you’ve basically addressed the issue of it being over. You’re sad about it, of course you are, but you have to feel it.

What you shouldn’t do is allow yourself to wallow. You are not going to die alone, you are not going to end up surrounded by endless cats, and you are not unlovable. We all have breakups, and yes, they feel like the end of the world, but you’ll see that it’s not.

Again, gather your support network around you and if you want to eat those gallons of ice cream, go for it. This is one of the rare occasions in life when you’re allowed to eat whatever the hell you like without judgement! [Read: How to end a relationship on good terms without any bitterness and drama]

#5 Social media stalking. Ah, the stage where we lose our sense of pride and focus our efforts on  social media stalking. It’s not pretty, but it’s very likely to be a stage you experience. You might have already sunk to these depths, but by this stage you’re really into it. You’ll look at what they’re doing and one up them.

You’ll post things on your social media that makes it look like you’re totally over them, you’re loving life and you’re getting out and about. Of course, the reality is you’re home in your pajamas. Maybe you haven’t had a shower in two days, but they don’t know that.

This stage often leads to feelings of jealousy, because you’re seeing things on their page which you overanalyze. You’re also probably going to get little competitive, trying to make it look like you’re doing better than they are. The truth? It doesn’t matter who is further forward in the recovery process. It’s a personal deal. [Read: 8 most common post-breakup mistakes you should never do]

#6 Numbness. Now you feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. You feel empty, down, low. It’s not sadness, it’s just nothing. It’s a strange feeling, and it’s neither good or bad. You might be glad of the numbness if your anger and sadness were extreme, but feeling nothing isn’t a positive thing. Thankfully, this is one of the stages of a long term relationship breakup which doesn’t last long.

#7 A sense of acceptance. You’re almost there, so hold on! By this point, you’ve basically accepted that it’s over. It hurts, it feels like a wound that hasn’t quite healed, perhaps a little itchy. You’re over the idea of it righting itself and you know it’s over for good.

This is a good thing. It means you’re ready for what the future will bring towards you. While you might still be vowing never to love again, the fact you’ve accepted the end of the relationship means that you’re not beating yourself up with ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ anymore either. [Read: 10 reasons why you sometimes feel relieved after breaking up]

#8 Looking forward. After a short while you’ll start to feel this twinge of something you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s not total happiness, but something akin to it. There is a little positivity creeping back in, and it’s hope for the future.

It’s about considering opportunities and knowing that your life isn’t over for good, and you’re not going to die alone. The tables have turned. You’re back to being your wonderful self.

Ironically, this is also the time that you’ll probably bump into your ex. You’ll be fine, you’ve got this. [Read: 14 things you need to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

#9 Moving on. You know you’ve completed all nine stages of a long term relationship breakup when you finally move on. Maybe you are attracted to someone else and want to ask them out or go on a date. You’ve done it! You’ve overcome your breakup and healthily come out of it a stronger and more positive person. Well done!

[Read: How to feel whole again after your long term relationship fell apart]

These 9 stages of a long term relationship breakup are hard but necessary for a healthy healing process. While you might not experience them in the exact same order, all of them will come to you at some point.

The post 9 Stages of a Long Term Relationship Breakup You Have to Experience is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Rules for Dating a Married Woman to Avoid a Messy Web of Drama

Though it’s a dangerous path, you’re not the first person to date a married woman. But you need to follow these special rules for dating a married woman.

I should start by telling you that I think this is a bad idea. You may love her, she may tell you she’s going to leave her husband, but she’s not. I know you think she’s different, but she’s not. At the same time, you may like dating married women because they’re already committed. Whatever the reason, you’re dating someone married, so at least learn the rules for dating a married woman.

Though it may seem harmless, I think you can do better than being with someone who’s already married. Not to mention, if her husband finds out, you’ll be in big trouble… unless he’s into that thing. Then it’s a win-win for all! [Read: The big debate around cheating and confessing]

15 rules for dating a married woman

But here’s the thing, when you’re dating a married woman, there are some things you’re going to have to know. Things that only apply when dating married people.

Are you going to be able to post your relationship on social media? That would be a big no. These small things are important to keep in mind because your relationship will most likely be kept in secret.

So, if you just started or are thinking about dating a married woman, it’s time you knew the rules. That way, you make sure that you don’t break them. If you break some of these rules, you tangle yourself in a web of drama.

Know the rules for dating a married woman before you start.

#1 Remember she’s married. You need to get this in your head. She’s not going to leave her husband, her stable life for you. As long as you know your limits, it’ll be fine. But if you’re starting to feel something for her or if you’re doing this to be with her, stop. The only thing that’s going to break is your heart. It’s cheesy but true. [Read: Understanding your boundaries in dating]

#2  Stay away from her house. Are you crazy? Stay far away from her house. Don’t go inside. She’s not a serial killer, but if her husband happens to come home while you’re there, you’re gonna be in big trouble.

It’s clear you don’t respect her marriage, entering into her home is just another level of disrespect. Bring her to your place, a hotel, in the back of your car, whatever. [Read: The guide to help you respect women]

#3 Your lips need to be sealed. She’s not going to be telling anyone about this which means you need to keep your mouth shut. One of the biggest rules for dating a married woman is that you can’t tell anyone about this relationship. If someone finds out, they can accidentally spread it, creating a rumor that you’re going to have to deal with. Keep your relationship on the down-low and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing.

#4 No social media postings. You can’t post any photos or posts about her. Don’t post on social media where you are with her nor make any hints that you’re with a mysterious woman. This relationship has to be as though it’s non-existent. So, put your phone away when you’re with her because you don’t need it. [Read: Understanding the good, bad, and ugly with social media and relationships]

#5 Set the boundaries. You need to sit down right in the beginning of your relationship and set the ground rules. If not, you leave an opportunity for things to become misinterpreted and messy. For example, one boundary could be that you don’t sleep over at each other’s places.

#6 Stick to your daily routine. If you suddenly change your routine the moment you start sleeping with a married woman, people are going to notice. Instead, keep to your regular routine. Your routine defines you, so stay close to it. The time you go to the gym, when you get off work, keep it as normal as possible.

#7 Don’t accept gifts from her. If you’re a sugar baby then it’s different. But if she’s paying for everything, you may want to equalize that. You don’t want to feel like you owe her anything. You’re sleeping with her and that’s it. There can be nothing more than that. [Read: The sugar momma guide and how to bag yourself a wealthy older lady]

#8 Switch up the hotels you go to. If you’re going to have sex, it’s not going to be at her place. So, if you decide to go to a hotel, make sure that you switch them up. You don’t necessarily want the staff to start recognizing you. If someone comes asking questions about you, you don’t need them saying anything.

#9 Pay in cash. Unless you want to make a “the time I had an affair with a married woman” scrapbook, don’t pay with credit. If possible, stick to paying with cash, so that you can’t have people pointing fingers at you. Credit cards leave a trace, keep that in mind. [Read: The surprising reasons behind why women cheat]

#10 Don’t buy her gifts. Again, you’re not with her. She has a husband at home, and if he sees she’s wearing a new necklace or sexy underwear, he’s going to start asking questions. Don’t buy her personal things that are going to remind her of you. This isn’t a regular relationship, remember?

#11 Trust that she’s being careful. You actually don’t know what she’s doing when you part ways. Does she shower after you have been together? Delete your messages? You need to know these things because you’re also in this relationship as well.

#12 Don’t befriend her husband. You’re already being a disrespectful asshole towards someone’s marriage *sorry, had to say it*. So, don’t, please, befriend her husband. That is some psychotic shit. This will only lead to a disaster and hurt him even more than not knowing who his wife is sleeping with. 

#13 How will you communicate? You just can’t call her whenever you’d like. Figure this out before you make a misstep. If you want to keep this relationship a secret then you need to make sure you choose a secure form of communication. No emails. No home phone calls. No texts.

#14 Leave if she starts to develop feelings. Listen, you may like the fact that she’s falling for you, but this is about to get very messy. She’s cheating on her husband with you. You don’t think she’ll do the same to you? Plus, she’s not emotionally over her husband, so, whether you want to believe it or not, you’re going to be a rebound. [Read: Right person, wrong time? The key to timing it all right]

#15 If you start to have feelings–end it. That’s right, you can’t be falling in love with a woman who’s married. If you notice yourself starting to develop feelings, it’s time to cut it. The only person who’s going to hurt is you.

She’s not going to leave her cushy life, that’s why she didn’t leave him by now. So, protect yourself at all times.

[Read:  The right reasons to breakup with someone you love]

If you’re choosing to date a married woman, I would think twice before doing it. But, if you’ve made up your mind, follow these rules for dating a married woman so you don’t mess your life up.

The post 15 Rules for Dating a Married Woman to Avoid a Messy Web of Drama is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.