16 Subtle Signs He Wants to Make a Move on You and Ask You Out

You’re not sure what’s going on between you two. Everything you need is right in front of you. Time to pay attention to the signs he wants to make a move.

When it comes to guys, they can be a wee bit confusing. But let’s be honest with ourselves—they’re not that complicated. Rather, we make the situation dramatic and complicated. In reality, we’re not paying attention to the real signs he wants to make a move.

You know, the signs that will give you the answer. And that’s partly because most of the time, we don’t want to know the actual answer. Why? Because what if it’s not the answer we were looking for?

But isn’t it better to know where you stand with a guy, so you stop wasting your time? The answer is yes. Even though I know you’re cringing a bit; you deserve the truth. [Read: How to get your crush to like you back]

How to tell the signs he wants to make a move

If you’ve been banging your head against the wall trying to figure out what’s going on with him, you can give your head a rest. If a guy wants to make a move, he’ll let you know, trust me. He may not tell it to your face, but you’ll be able to figure out by his actions whether he’s interested in you or not.

Once you figure out if he wants to make a move, you decide the next step. Knowing the truth puts the power in your hands, and now you have the time to decide if this is something you want or not. So, let’s get started and show you the 16 signs he wants to make a move.

Be two steps ahead.

#1 You’re feeling the vibes. You have this thing called intuition, listen to it. If you feel there’s some sexual tension between you, there probably is. Now, it doesn’t mean he’s going to make a move, but it does show that he wants you. And, as we all know, that’s a pretty good first step. If you’re feeling the vibes, listen to them. [Read: These signs of chemistry reveal an instant connection]

#2 His body language. When it comes to signs, there’s nothing more obvious than body language. Our body language speaks the words we’re too scared to say out loud. If he wants to make the first move, he’s going to let you know he wants you subconsciously. Whether it’s through hugging, touching, or even eye contact.

#3 He can’t look you in the eyes. He wants to look at you in the eyes, but when he does, he quickly looks away. Now, if you never speak and he’s doing this, then he’s not interested. If you have a good relationship, but he’s nervous to look at you, then he’s trying to calm himself around you. [Read: How to read people and understand what they’re thinking instantly]

#4 He’s nervous. What other reason is there to be nervous other than concealing his feelings for you. If he’s nervous around you, stuttering, sweating, those are signs he’s into you. More so, those are signs he wants to make a move but is terrified of doing it. If you want to take the relationship to the next level, then why don’t you make the first move? [Read: How to ask a guy on a date – The walkthrough all girls need to know]

#5 He’s always there. When you need him, he’s there. There’s no question about it. A man who doesn’t care about you is unreliable; you’ll never be able to depend on him. But he’s someone you can depend on. He wants you to see that he’s a good partner for you.

#6 His friends tease him. When you hang out together, his friends are all over it. They love taking the opportunity to tease him around you. They know he likes you, but he’s scared to make a move. As friends, teasing him is their way of pushing him to make a move.

#7 He’s hyper around you. When you hang out, it’s like he has a sudden burst of energy. And that’s because he’s into you. He can’t even control his excitement. When you spend time together, he’s full of fun ideas and plans. Maybe one of those plans will end with a kiss… who knows. [Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to]

#8 He’s chatty online. In person, he’s a nervous wreck, but when you talk online, he’s very chatty. The true him comes out when he feels comfortable. He sends you hilarious memes, songs, and can have deep conversations with you. He’s just a little nervous in person to relax and be himself. 

#9 His face shines bright when he sees you. When he turns the corner and sees you, his face goes from flat to a full smile. What can I say? The guy likes you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t even spend the time to look at you. You make him smile, and all he’s thinking is how he can take the relationship to the next step. [Read: How to tell if you crush likes you with these subtle cues]

#10 He tries to please you. When you’re feeling down, he’ll go out of his way to buy you ice cream or tell you a funny joke to see you laugh. He wants to make you happy, and he goes out of his way to do it. That’s the sign of a man who wants something more than just friendship.

#11 He pays attention to you. When you’re talking to him, he listens. But really he listens. He’s not on his phone, saying “yeah, yeah,” whenever you ask him a question. Instead, he’s engaged and interested in what you have to say. That’s because he likes you.

#12 He flirts with you. Now, this is a big one. Some guys are nervous to flirt with the girl they like, but eventually, it’ll happen. Flirting is the next step, and he wants you to see that he’s into you. If you flirt with each other, he wants to make a move. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do when they like a girl]

#13 He talks about you with other people. Word around the street is that he talks about you with other people. Of course, he only talks about the good things, and that’s because he’s into you. He can’t even keep his feelings to himself; he needs to share it with anyone who will listen.

#14 He makes jokes about the future. No one is going to talk about the future unless they want a future with that person. If he’s cracking jokes about being your boyfriend or doing things in the future, don’t take it lightly. Those jokes mean something to him on some level. Now, it doesn’t mean he’s going to ask for your hand in marriage, but he is into you. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexy flirting tips all women should know]

#15 He tries to impress you. When you’re around, he talks himself up. He wants you to see that he’s a real man; a man you can depend on.

[Read: The signs he likes you but is afraid of rejection]

If you want to know what’s going on in his head, read the signs he wants to make a move. Though you can’t read his mind, you’ll be able to figure out your next step.

The post 16 Subtle Signs He Wants to Make a Move on You and Ask You Out is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Seduce an Older Man

There is the old saying that “age is just a number.” But when you find that you are into older men, how do you navigate the situation? Are you an old soul? Do you sometimes feel like you are bored around your peers or that you do not have much in common with them? You […]

The post How to Seduce an Older Man appeared first on Luvze.

Is He Leading You On? 16 Definitive Signs He’s Playing You for Fun

As someone who has been led on by guys and has even led on a few guys in her time, I am uniquely qualified to answer the question, is he leading you on?

The thing about being led on is that when it’s happening you have no clue. You’re hopeful and excited, never even considering the question: is he leading you on?

If you’ve ever been led on before, you know that the end result is anything but hopeful or exciting. In fact, it feels like you’ve been royally screwed over. And that’s because you have.

When someone leads you on, they are not treating you with respect. They play games with your emotions with little to no sympathy for the pain they cause you.

This is why it is important to be able to spot the signs that he is leading you. Is he leading you on or is he genuine in his intentions? Put a stop to it before you get hurt. [Read: How to play the player and return the favor like a boss]

What does being led on really mean?

Before we get into the signs he’s leading you on, let’s make sure you really know what being led on means. It isn’t always black and white and can be confusing. So, I’m going to lay it out there for you.

When someone leads you on, it means they are giving you false hope. Some consider flirting with someone that buys you a drink a form of leading someone on. In my book that is a little too petite to be considered leading on.

In my book, being led on is when someone gives you hope, indirectly or directly, that they are interested in you when they know they do not plan on following through.

[Read: 11 obvious signs that he’s just using you]

You can be led on and then ghosted. You can be led on and then stood up. Or you can be led on and then dumped or used and always let down.

I’ll give you an example of being led on from my own personal collection of experiences. I was talking to a new guy for about two weeks. Early on I asked him flat out what he was looking for. He told me he wanted to take things slowly but was ultimately looking for a relationship.

After that, he continued to push that point home by telling me what we would do on future dates, how he was nervous I wouldn’t like him once we met, and how happy he was he met me.

I being the person I am was skeptical, of course, and as it turns out, rightfully so. Out of the blue one day, he texted me that he was sorry but had no desire for anything serious. He led me on for weeks. He didn’t give a reason or make an excuse.

Now, I appreciated the honesty. It was certainly better than all out ghosting, but that is what leading on is.

Sure, he could have his own reasons like he met someone he liked more, lost interest, was scared of our connection, blah blah blah. But, in my book 9/10 times when someone leads you on they planned on dropping you from the start.

Sure sometimes they want something out of you like sex or companionship. Other times they just do it to do it. But no matter the reason, it sucks. You deserve to know when it’s going to happen. [Read: 10 signs he’s not playing hard to get he’s just playing you]

Is he leading you on?

Why do you think he’s leading you on? What led you to this article?

Whatever it is, I can confidently say that there is about a 90% chance your gut feeling is spot on. If something feels off and you’re questioning his intentions, you probably should be.

Now, I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but those are the odds. Sure, sometimes we overthink and have trust issues, but if you feel like he is leading you on, he probably is.

Is he leading you on? Well, trust your gut, ladies and gents. And if you still want to be sure you can feel good about dumping his ass, read on.

Signs he’s leading you on

If he shows these signs he is leading you on. Are there excuses that could be made and arguments that could prove me wrong? Sure. Why waste your time when you deserve better?

Here are the signs he’s leading you on.

#1 He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. This is something a lot of us tend to ignore. Some guys straight up tell us that they are leading us on. We either ignore it or deny it.

When a guy says this but then starts treating you like he wants a relationship we assume he changed his mind. But you cannot assume. No matter his actions, if he said he didn’t want something serious then treats you like he does, he is leading you on openly. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 common reasons why they turn into cowards]

#2 He’s newly single. Not every newly single guy is a player, but there is a good chance a guy who is fresh out of a relationship isn’t looking to settle down. Even if he claims to be over his ex and didn’t plan on leading you on, it will likely turn out that way. Stay alert.

#3 He doesn’t keep in touch. A guy who is leading you on only gives you the perfect amount of attention so that you seek him out. He wants you to think he is interested just enough so that he doesn’t have to make the effort. [Read: 10 reasons a guy could be ignoring you]

#4 He’s too charming. Anytime you feel like he is too charming or suave or smooth, he probably is. When a guy is truly interested he gets nervous, yes even the most confident ones too. If everything he says is so perfect, it is not because he’s perfect. It is because he is great at playing you to get what he wants.

#5 He likes you too much too fast. I’m not saying you don’t deserve someone that likes you, but when someone likes you loads without even knowing you, it is weird. Guys seem to think this is the best way to grab your interest.

And we do tend to fall for it. Instead, question what this guy really knows about you. Does he really like you? Does he really want you to like him?

#6 He doesn’t live up to his word. Words only go so far. If he makes plans and cancels them or says he’ll call you later and doesn’t, he isn’t as invested as he claims to be.

#7 He’s confusing. If you’re talking to a guy who makes you question everything he is probably leading you on. He wants to find a balance of keeping you interested and keeping his distance so he doesn’t have to take accountability for hurting you later on.

If he’s making you feel crazy its because he’s trying to. [Read: Blowing hot and cold? 3 stages to explain why he’s doing that]

#8 His story changes. Did he first tell you he was free every Thursday but when Thursday rolls around he has plans? Did he tell you he would text you at 8 but when 8 o’clock strikes he doesn’t reach out and doesn’t respond to you?

If he can’t keep his story straight, it’s because he is lying and probably to more than one person.

#9 It is a struggle to make plans. A guy who is leading you on will be a nightmare to make plans with because he is waiting for something he considers to be better to come along and wants to string you along as a backup.

#10 You’re always waiting for him. Are you always waiting for him to text you? Are you waiting for him to be over his ex or to have time for a relationship? If he is keeping you waiting, not only does he not consider your time as valuable, but he doesn’t consider you as valuable either.

#11 He always turns the conversation to sex. A lot of guys that lead you on are looking for one thing. Sex. And if that’s what you want, great. If not, and he knows that, he will string you along until he gets what he wants.

If you just send him a cute selfie or outfit photo and he turns everything into something sexual, he is most definitely leading you on and getting impatient while doing it. [Read: The signs he just wants sex and is using you for his enjoyment]

#12 He doesn’t go anywhere with you. A guy who is leading you on puts in the exact amount of effort he needs for you to remain interested. He will say the right things, but will not do anything he doesn’t want to.

That means he likely won’t take you dancing, out for dinner, or even drinks. He’ll stay local.

#13 He uses the same lines. If he repeated himself a lot, there is a good chance he is leading you on. Maybe he uses pet names too early or repeats something he knows you responded well to before.

This is not because he is sweet or a good listener. He is lazy and doing the absolute least to impress you.

#14 He says “he is not like other guys.” If a guy says this, you should run away ASAP. He is most definitely leading you on.

#15 He overreacts to your worries. If you’re a mature person and share your concerns with him and he gets defensive or guilts you for questioning him, he is leading you on. And he is good at it. [Read: The 12 clues your guy is just using you]

#16 You just get a vibe. Sometimes you just feel it. When something is off and you can’t put your finger on it is just because he hasn’t shown you he is leading you on. Your intuition was made for this.

[Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? 13 clear giveaways]

Is he leading you on? Sadly, if you came looking for this article, he probably is. But, don’t worry. You can do better and you will.

The post Is He Leading You On? 16 Definitive Signs He’s Playing You for Fun is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Goodbye Messages When Leaving The Company Or Job

Goodbye Message Leaving Company : What to write in a goodbye message when leaving the company or the job, after... More

The post Goodbye Messages When Leaving The Company Or Job appeared first on WishesMsg.

What Makes a Girl Good in Bed: The Subtle Things Men Desire in Bed

It’s not just about blowjobs. Sex is more than that. Now the question is: what makes a girl good in bed? You’re about to find out what men want in bed.

Before anything else, what makes a girl good in bed is subjective. Men are human beings. They’re all unique in their own ways. Not everyone likes blowjobs or large breasts, for example. And that’s the beautiful part about attraction and sex: everyone has their own preferences.

So before I go on, it’s important to understand that, at the end of the day, what makes a girl good in bed isn’t so cut and dry. But I will tell you the general preferences of what makes a girl a bomb in the bed.

What makes a girl good in bed? The little things to know

This seems to be a question many people want the answer to: woman or a man! Now from what the movies and popular culture tell us, men are looking for some blonde bombshell with giant boobs that only exist in porn films. But in reality, that’s not what men want, which is great news for everyone. Those are unrealistic beauty standards that frankly are non-existent.

[Read: 10 really simple things you can do to keep your lover madly in love with you]

When I was younger, I didn’t know much about sex, and what I did know was wrong. I thought men were looking for extremes, for girls who would deep throat like they haven’t eaten for days. Even though I didn’t know what any of it meant or even how to do it, I had that expectation in my mind.

But the reality is much different. Let’s find out what makes a girl good in bed in the real world.

#1 Enthusiasm. No one wants to have sex with someone who isn’t into it. A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience. She’s into giving you a blowjob, comfortable talking about her sexual desires, or simply showing excitement to have sex with you. [Read: 16 sex moves to surprise your boyfriend with]

#2 Communication. Sex is all about communication; without it, it’s going to be bad sex. You don’t need to have a three-hour long conversation about sex, but you need to be on the same page. What feels good for you, what feels good for her. If you both don’t know what pleasures each other, there’s going to be a big problem.

#3 There’s genuine chemistry. Sex is all about chemistry. The best sex you’ll have is with someone you’re vibing with. She’s really into you; you’re really into her, and bam! That’s where the magic happens. If there’s not genuine chemistry, and you’re both doing it just because, expect to have bad sex. It’s as simple as that. [Read: 15 intense signs of chemistry that reveal an instant connection]

#4 She’s got self-confidence. A woman who’s good in bed is a woman who is confident about herself. Listen, we all have our insecurities, but when she’s in the moment, she lets go and enjoys it. Self-confidence is sexy, considering how much pressure women are put under. It hinders the experience, making them feel less present. A little bit of confidence can go a long way.

#5 Openness. This doesn’t mean she needs to tell you every single sexual experience she’s had, that’s not what being open is about. What I’m talking about is being open about her sexual desires, what feels good for her. You need to know or else how can you satisfy her? If she tells you what she wants in bed, then you can properly deliver and hit the jackpot.

#6 She likes taking charge. Many women want to take charge, but they’re scared. And this is a common complaint from men; they want a woman who takes charge. Listen, though a girl who can take charge is good in bed, this doesn’t mean a girl who doesn’t is bad. You can also help her initiate sex when she wants it. 

#7 Cuddle sessions. Though many men say they don’t like cuddling, the truth is they’re lying. Okay, not all of them, but many men don’t want to look weak, so, they’ll say they don’t enjoy cuddling. But they’re human! People love physical contact. If she cuddles after sex, it’s a way to bond and unwind from the experience. Aftercare is important. [Read: All the cuddling positions you need to be a loving cuddler] 

#8 Knows how to have fun. Sex isn’t supposed to be a serious event. There can be times where sex is intense and aggressive, for example. But if you’re not having fun and laughing during sex, then what’s the point? A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience and having fun.

#9 No judging. No one wants to be open with someone else about their sexual fantasies and then be judged for it. It doesn’t mean she will want to engage in the activities you want to do, but she’s not going to make you feel bad for your sexual desires. And that makes a great partner.

#10 She’s vocal. Silence can really be a buzz kill. It doesn’t mean she needs to be yelling and screaming off the top of her lungs. But someone who feels comfortable to express themselves during sex will enjoy the experience more, and that’ll make you feel good as well. [Read: How to moan during sex without sounding like an unattractive dying walrus]

#11 She’s flirtatious. When someone is sexually attracted to another, they flirt. Flirting is designed to build up sexual tension between two people. Women aren’t the only ones who want to feel desired; men, want to feel desired too. If a woman is flirtatious, she’s sending off signs that she’s into the guy. If this is done before sex, well, it’ll create even more tension.

[Read: 11 quick moves to instantly drive your guy wild]

And here you thought what makes a girl good in bed is one who does all these crazy things. But in reality, it’s about being genuine and enjoying the sexual experience.

The post What Makes a Girl Good in Bed: The Subtle Things Men Desire in Bed is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

20 Questions to Ask Your Ex after a Breakup to Heal & Find Closure

Ending a relationship is never easy, but it can be a lot easier to move forward if you have the perfect questions to ask your ex after a breakup.

You’ve had your breakup. The tears have been shed and the sweatshirts have been returned. But, there is still a lot of confusion, which is why these questions to ask your ex after a breakup matter.

A breakup rarely ends everything. It may end the technical parts of your relationship, but it likely left a lot of feelings and probably quite a few questions.

We don’t always get the chance to talk to an ex and get all our questions answered, so if you do, be smart about it. I know you have a lot of unresolved feelings, but there are some questions to ask your ex after a breakup that will help you move on. [Read: How to make letting go of your ex easier]

Are you seeing your ex after a breakup?

When you are talking to your ex after a breakup, it is really the most beneficial if you do it in person. If you start texting your ex it can get out of hand. You can start saying things you might regret. When you are talking virtually you have an invisible wall protecting you from embarrassment or regret.

When you text your ex, things can turn around and take you back into a potentially dysfunctional relationship. Texting to ask questions to get clarity is just like going to their house to seek closure.

Seeing your ex privately, especially while feelings are still fresh, will lead to more harm than good.

Try to meet your ex somewhere in public to ask questions and get closure. You can go to lunch, meet at the mall, or anywhere that you will be able to keep things calm and cordial without lashing out or rekindling unresolved emotions. [Read: Suddenly single? 11 things you HAVE to avoid doing]

Questions to ask your ex after a breakup

If you have found a neutral place to meet your ex and are hoping to get closure by asking them questions, you’re in luck.

It may sound impossible, but it isn’t. Now, closure doesn’t mean you will come away with these answers feeling unfazed by the end of your relationship, but the end will feel more meaningful and like there is a reason.

This is what you want from these questions to ask your ex after a breakup. You don’t want to dwell on the past or what could have been. You want to learn from this relationship and move forward with knowledge and clarity.

With that, there are some questions to ask your ex after a breakup that will help you heal and move on.

Be prepared for some unexpected answers, and some that might upset you at first. But, all in all, the truth is what gives you closure. [Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]

#1 Can you give me the full truth? Starting here sets things off on the right foot. As your ex, they may think lying will protect you from hurting more or protect them from accountability. They may not want to see you cry or get upset.

Let them know no matter how you react now that you want the whole truth in order to move on and will offer the same to them. [Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]

#2 When were we done in your mind? This can give you a lot of insight. Something a lot of us do when a relationship ends is wonder how long our ex wanted to end things. We think the breakup was a shock. But, if we can know when things took a turn, we can be more aware in the future.

#3 How did you know this wasn’t going to work? This will let you know why they gave up. You may still be wondering why you didn’t make it work or try harder. The answer to this question will give you closure.

It will let you know what straw broke the camel’s back, so you don’t have to wonder what if. [Read: 14 telling signs it’s time to give up on the relationship]

#4 What do you think went wrong? This may seem similar to the last question but is a bit broader. The answer to this won’t necessarily be about the end of your relationship but the beginning of the end.

#5 Were you ever unfaithful? This is not something everyone will want the answer to and yes it will hurt at first, but in the long run, you will be more confident in the end of this relationship once you know.

#6 Do you think I was unfaithful? This will clear things up for your ex and you. If you want to ensure they know you were faithful or that you weren’t so they can move on too, this is the time to talk. [Read: Could you have unintentionally micro-cheated?]

#7 Do you think we both contributed to this ending? I would say in most relationships both partners almost always have a hand to play in the end, but that isn’t always the case. Talk to your ex about this. Do they think they fully ended things on their own or that it was your fault?

#8 What do you think are my best qualities? This can be cathartic to hear from someone that is hurting due to the end of your relationship. It isn’t about what they think of you, but what you can take away from this.

Knowing that they still see good in you no matter the ending shows that you are both mature and that things didn’t get too out of hand before ending.

#9 Do you think we are different people than we were when we first met? Knowing if you changed since the beginning of your relationship can give you a lot of clarity. You may think you are the same person but your ex could point out the ways you’ve changed. And that isn’t a bad thing.

Sometimes we grow and our partners don’t. Sometimes we grow in different directions. And sometimes we grow and the relationship doesn’t. Knowing these things helps you take away more from this relationship. [Read: Your ex wants to be friends? 15 questions you need to ask yourself]

#10 How would you describe our breakup to friends? This is not your business in every situation, but if you share friends it is best you two are on the same page so that there is no unneeded drama.

#11 Do you think we should distance ourselves for a while? I always think cutting off communication with an ex for a while is the best move. You can adjust to not having them in your life. But, see what they think. Do you need to interact because of work or other circumstances? [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

#12 Did you ever trash talk me to your friends? This is another thing that can be hard to hear, but when asking your ex questions after a breakup this helps you be in control. Feeling like a fool after a breakup is one of the worst feelings, so knowing as much as you can now will help prevent that.

#13 Do you wish we never met? A mature person will look at a failed relationship as a way to grow and improve. If your ex wished they could wipe out your entire history together, they are not mature and this realization will help you move forward. 

#14 What do you think you brought to our relationship? This is the time for you to get clarity and closure, but can also be a time to learn more about your ex and for them to learn something too. Seeing what they think they did right in the relationship can be very eye-opening.

This can take away a lot of bitterness you may have built up and help you both regain confidence.

#15 Will you be okay with me moving on? Will seeing you with someone new hurt them? Will they be happy to see you happy? This lets you know what stage of the breakup they are in. If you know you’ll be seeing someone and posting photos online, you can mute or unfriend each other for a while until you are both past it.

#16 Are you happy? Knowing your ex’s state of mind is important for both of you to move forward after this conversation. Are they doing okay? Are they struggling? It is not your priority to keep them happy, but it is helpful to know where their mind is for your own sanity. [Read: How to help your ex move on and get over you for good]

#17 Are you seeing anyone? You do not want to be surprised when your ex brings their new partner to a mutual friend’s party or posts pictures with them online. Asking them this prepares you for seeing that. You can even ask them to let you know if they do start seeing someone just so you aren’t taken off guard.

#18 How are we going to handle our mutual friends? This is something a lot of ex’s don’t talk about, but if you have mutual friends it can help. Maybe you just want to go back to how things were before you dated. But can you? Maybe you’ll switch off events with them until the tides have calmed?

#19 Moving forward do you want to keep in touch? I wish I had asked this question to all of my exes. It prepares you for that random text or for radio silence. Do you want to try to be friends down the road or are you going to go your separate ways?

Answering this now and getting on the same page prevents hiccups from spreading out the time it takes to move on. [Read: Is being friends with an ex you still love a possibility?]

#20 Is there anything you want to ask me? This conversation is meant to offer clarity and closure to you post-breakup, but your ex deserves that too. Give them the same honest responses to their questions that you expect from them.

Try not to ask your ex if they miss you, if you could have done something different, or if they regret anything. These questions and others like these only pull you back into the relationship that is over.

[Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]

These are questions to ask your ex after a breakup to move forward not back. So, keep that in mind and good luck.

The post 20 Questions to Ask Your Ex after a Breakup to Heal & Find Closure is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The Big List of Must-Know Sexy Pick Up Lines All Guys Should Know

Words play a big part in attraction. If you want to knock her off her feet, you should know the right things to say with these sexy pick up lines.

Sexy pick up lines always get a bad rap for being cheesy and corny. But let’s be honest, almost every first line you hear is a pick up line. Even if it’s just a “hello.”

When we see someone we like, the first thing we think is, wow, they’re amazing. Now, the next step is to try to translate those thoughts into words. You want to break the ice, make your way in so you can ask them out.

In my day, I’ve heard some of the worst pick up lines, ones that even included card and magic tricks. And let’s just say, those never go too well. Unfortunately, they had to learn the hard way.

[Read: Get something going with these flirty conversation starters]

16 sexy pick up lines that work

But you don’t need to follow their unsexy path. It’s time you learned the right sexy pick up lines. The ones that will give you actual results. There’s nothing worse than using a bad pick up line—literally nothing worse.

So, I’m here to help you and put you on the right path. These sexy pick up lines will actually do you some justice out in the dating world. It’s not easy being single and trying to find a partner, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Here are the 16 pick up lines for you to use that will work. Words matter, know the right ones.

#1 Am I the only one who gets lost in your eyes? She’ll have a good answer for you if she’s into you. Say this line with a smile, and she’ll definitely have a laugh. [Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets every guy should know]

#2 I tried not to have feelings for you, but I clearly failed. What can you do? The heart wants what the heart wants. You tried your best, right? Now, the only thing you can do is give in to your emotions.

#3 You are the hottest thing since sunburn. If it’s summer, then you should definitely try out this line. It’s a little cheesy, but it can work well under the right circumstances. You just need to be confident when using it. [Read: How to make a girl smile, laugh, and like you instantly]

#4 Your lips are stunning. Would they like to meet mine? If you share chemistry and eye contact all night, this is a great line to use. She may say yes, she may say no. You just need to find out what the answer is.

#5 I was feeling a little off today, but the moment I saw you, I was turned on. This is a sweet line and one you should try out. She may blush, she may laugh sweetly, but the point is you broke the ice.

#6 What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? Use this line only if you have developed a connection. If you have been exchanging looks all night or dancing together, try it out. If not, I would avoid being that forward. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#7 We haven’t met before because if we did, I would have remembered a face like yours. This is a pretty safe line, and you can use it almost everywhere. Whether it’s on the street, at the bar, or at school, it’s a line you can use wherever you are.

#8 Does it mean we’re married now? I’ve had this line used on me, and I had a pretty good laugh. When you’re using a pick up line, you want the other person to laugh. These lines don’t need to be taken seriously; it’s just a way to break the ice.

#9 I’m no photographer, but I totally picture us together. If you have a phone on you, take it out and take a selfie with her. If she likes you, she’ll give you her contact details so you can send her the picture. You knock two birds with one stone. [Read: How to win a girl over with your charm]

#10 There are no words to even describe how beautiful you are. There are some people you can’t take your eyes off of. If she’s stunning, you don’t need to keep it locked inside of you. Let her know how you feel with this line.

#11 I’d love to find out if you’re a good cuddler. If you have been flirting heavily and she’s hinting to you that she wants something more, try out this line. If she’s into you, expect a witty and positive response back.

#12 Are you busy tonight? Well, is she? If you want to take things to the next level, you need to let her know. You need to use this line properly, if not, you can come off as pushy. But if you master this line, you’ll land yourself a lot of dates. [Read: 19 signs she wants the D and wants you to take her home]

#13 Do you have a name or can I call you mine? Sure, this one can be seen as being a little cheesy, but it’s a cute line that will make most people giggle. And who knows what the answer is going to be.

#14 Let me make you brunch. This is a little more forward, but if you think you can pull it off, use it. Not only are you asking her out, but you’re saying that you want something more.

#15 You’re the reason why men fall in love. If she looks like a heartbreaker, there’s a reason why. This line will definitely have her blushing. Everyone likes to have their ego stroked, and that’s what you’re doing with this line. [Read: How to set yourself apart from the herd and pickup girls]

#16 Falling for you would be a short trip. There are just some people that you fall for in an instance. If she’s someone that you fell for, let her know.

[Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines you should use and 10 to avoid]

Drop the cheesy! You need sexy pick up lines that are actually going to work. Try these out the next time you look to woo her.

The post The Big List of Must-Know Sexy Pick Up Lines All Guys Should Know is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What Is a Narcissistic Man Like & How to Recognize his Rotten Core

We all hear about them—selfish, manipulative men walking around. But what is a narcissistic man like in reality? And, how can you avoid them?

Narcissism is big news these days. It seems that the term came out of nowhere. In reality, narcissism has been around for as long as people. We simply didn’t have an actual name for it. So, what is a narcissistic man like in reality?

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

A truly narcissistic person actually has a personality disorder, called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, for short. This type of person is rare but only because true narcissists don’t tend to seek treatment. Why? Because they don’t think they need help, they think everyone else does.

That means a frightening fact is true. There are many true narcissists walking around this planet, causing emotional havoc, and not understanding why.

Of course, there is treatment for NPD, in the form of therapy, but again, very few narcissists actually go through it. The future is not very bright relationship-wise for a narcissist, but this man is not going to understand or realize, because they actually don’t really care.

[Read: How to deal with a narcissistic boyfriend and protect your heart]

I should point out that there are a lot of narcissistic women walking around too, but I’m going to focus on men in this chat. The reason being we hear so much about this rather common species, and it’s important to be on the lookout for them. Remember, the traits I’m going to mention work just as much for narcissistic women too.

So, what is a narcissistic man like? First we need to figure out what this condition is.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder which affects the way a person behaves and feels. While true narcissism is rare, there are countless people who have traits pertaining to the condition.

A narcissistic man is not someone you want a relationship with. How do I know this? Because I did it, and it’s not something I’m in a rush to repeat.

Yes, a narcissistic man has a condition, but that does not mean you can save him. Countless people make this assumption and stay in relationships which make them miserable, but the bottom line is that you cannot cure his problem, only he can, and even then he’s extremely unlikely to go through the therapy treatment required to rewire his brain.

[Read: The 20 right reasons to walk away from someone you love]

The man traits of a narcissistic man *or woman* are:

– Inflated sense of self-importance

– Low self-esteem, although they will never admit it

– The common use of manipulation techniques, including gaslighting

– Always wanting the very best of everything

– Assuming their opinion is right and everyone else is wrong

– A tendency to put others down to make themselves look and feel better

– Extreme difficulties in maintaining friendships and relationships longterm

– An inability to show love in the regular way, e.g. through genuine affection

– You could describe him as a control freak

These are just a few of the most common traits you’ll see a narcissistic man showing. There are some which show worse traits, and there are different types of narcissists to know about too. I’m not going to go into those in too much detail, because the very worst type, the malignant narcissist, is someone you never want to meet even once in your life. This type of man is spiteful and petty, someone who will cause you extreme emotional damage.

[Read: How to read the signs you’re dealing with a malignant narcissist]

Warning aside however, it is entirely possible to break free from a narcissistic relationship, but it takes time, effort, and support. Again, I can say this confidently because I speak from experience.

What is a narcissistic man like in reality?

You might wonder why anyone would stay with a man showing these types of traits. It’s an easy assumption to make, and probably a right one from the outside. The thing is, they’re not like that at the start. They’re like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

A narcissistic man will be the epitome of charming at the beginning. He will lasso you in with his charm, wit, kindness, and sense of humor. It’s only when he’s pretty sure you’re totally emotionally hooked, that he will let the act drop and become his true self. [Read: Narcissists and empaths, and why they’re a match made in dating hell]

Again, you’re probably reading that and thinking that a narcissistic man is truly evil, but that’s an unfair description. Remember, a narcissistic man *or woman* has a true condition, and they do not choose to act in this way consciously. They simply don’t know any other way. Of course, that doesn’t excuse the way they act and the pain and upset they cause people, but it’s not fair to label them evil.

Once you are emotionally hooked, his true colors will show, but he will not do this immediately or all at once. There will be small signs that all is not well. For instance, he might tell you that the outfit you’re wearing doesn’t suit you, destroying your self-confidence in that moment and causing you to cancel your night out with friends.

As a result, he’s making you reliant on him and alienating you from your circle. He might do something and then when you question him on it, he’ll deny all knowledge. He will tell you that you’re imagining again. And you begin to question your own sanity. This is classic gas-lighting, one of the most commonly used manipulation tactics by narcissists in general. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re hooked in a narcissistic relationship]

Just as you reach the point where you think that there’s something a little wrong and questioning why he’s treating you this way when he claims to love you, he will notice your doubt. Then, he will switch back to his original, charming self. [Read: The 3 stages to explain why someone blows hot and cold]

You see, at his very core, a narcissistic man has self-esteem issues and relies on your neediness of him to validate his worth. Despite that he has an inflated sense of self-importance in terms of his views, his ability, and his appearance. It’s a total contradiction, and that’s what makes narcissism so difficult to understand, unless you’ve seen it first hand.

Many of my friends ask “what is a narcissistic man like?” It’s almost like they’re asking about a mythical creature, someone they’ve yet to meet. The chances are you’ve already met one, and you’re now steering clear of them. This could be a work colleague who is never wrong, and always associates themselves with management to look good, or it could be a friend who was always putting others down to make themselves look better. Narcissists appear in all walks of life, not just in romantic situations. [Read: How to beat a narcissist and win over their manipulation]

How to break free from a narcissistic man

If you’re suffering at the hands of a narcissistic man, I urge you to leave. It’s easier said than done, I know, but surround yourself with friends and family and find it within yourself to realize you deserve better. After that, go, ride out the storm, and don’t look back. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]

What is a narcissistic man like? Someone who will never change, that’s what. You might think he will, you might think you can help him change, but the truth is that it’s impossible. Unless he opens his eyes, understands his problem, admits he is wrong *never going to happen*, and gets help, you’re staring at the way your relationship is always going to be.

Don’t you deserve better?

[Read: Don’t settle for less when you can have so much more]

If you wonder what is a narcissistic man like, he will ruin your life if you let him. Coming to the final realization that someone you love is indeed narcissistic can be tough, but it’s vital to acknowledge and confirm it, in order to set yourself free.

The post What Is a Narcissistic Man Like & How to Recognize his Rotten Core is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Play a Guy at His Own Game and Make Him Feel Miserable

Sometimes the only way to teach someone a lesson is to beat them at their own game. But how to play a guy at his own game when you’re the one being played?

Women are well-known for playing mind games with men. Actually, we’re considered experts. But, so many of us fall easily into the games men play with women. I think it’s because we assume that we’re the game players, leaving us open for manipulation. To turn the tables, it’s time to learn how to play a guy at his own game.

The fact is both men and women are experts at playing mind games with each other. Of course, many of us are open and honest people, but there are always those who fall between the cracks. Those are the ones to watch out for. But, let’s be honest, most of us have been played by someone. Take it as a life lesson.

How to play a guy at his own game

If you feel you’re being played, you must stop it. That’s easier said than done, especially when we have feelings for them. But you don’t want to be taken advantage of and left broken-hearted. The best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation before it gets worse. Kick him to the curb.

[Read: Avoid these 13 types of men if you’re looking for true love]

But, I know before you go, you’ll want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now, I advise you not to do this, but I also know you’re human, and you probably will. If you plan to play a guy at his own game, you may as well do it the right way.

Here we go, it’s time you learned what to do and learn how to play a guy at his own game. The tables are about to turn on him.

#1 Slightly acknowledge him. He’s used to you liking all his photos, commenting on them, texting him multiple times a day. In other words, he’s used to you chasing him. Now, you turn the tables. Pull back, way back. Instead of showering him with attention, slightly acknowledge his existence. Say hi, be friendly, but that’s about it. [Read: Understanding why a guy comes back when you ignore them]

#2 Stop giving him attention. Most men will play women for attention for a quick ego boost. But that’s what you must cut. Stop giving him the attention he wants. The only way to get his attention is by ignoring him politely.

Brush him off, make him work harder for your time; you’re not an easy catch. Leave him wondering why his moves aren’t working anymore.

#3 Flirt with other guys. Ah, yes, this one is a classic. But don’t make the mistake of making it obvious you want his attention or else it won’t work. Don’t look at him while you’re flirting with other guys. Show him that he’s out of the picture. This guy doesn’t like losing a race. [Read: 30 wicked ways to make a guy jealous and win his attention back]

#4 Don’t fall for his charm. This guy lives on his charm; it’s one of the only qualities he has that works. So, he’s going to do his best to charm his way into your pants. Instead, show him that you’re not falling for his charm. It’s an old act. He must come up with a different strategy if he wants to make you fall for him. Once he becomes obsessed, the ball is in your court.

#5 Have a good time *without him*. While you’re busy trying to win him over, make sure you spend time enjoying yourself with friends and family. It’s easy to get sucked into this game, and that’s not what you want to do. Go out with friends, meet other people, and if he’s there, remember to have a good time and not get distracted by senseless drama. [Read: 15 moves to get a guy to chase you and fall real hard]

#6 Don’t sleep with him. If you want to play a guy at his own game, show him that you’re not some easy chick. If you’ve already slept with him, pull back. If you haven’t slept with him–great! It’ll be that much easier not to. Plus, if he’s playing you, then he doesn’t deserve you.

#7 Keep the mystery alive. Everyone loves a little mystery. If you want him to fall for you, be a little mysterious. He shouldn’t know everything about you. The fact he doesn’t know much about you is why he’s still interested. Avoid talking about exes, passions, your fears, and dreams. Give him just enough to keep him coming back for more. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]

#8 Don’t text him. You cannot give into texting him. These type of guys are used to women chasing after them. If you want him to chase you, stop texting him first. If he texts you, yes, answer, but not too fast. Let him sit and wait for your text. You’re busy. You have a life.

#9 Get ready to invest time into this. This isn’t going to work overnight. It will take some time and energy on your part. Ask yourself if this is something you actually want to do. I know it sounds empowering, but it’s a lot of investment. Is this guy really worth all this hassle? Or are you just in this for the drama? [Read: 20 wily signs of a player to recognize one instantly]

#10 Don’t fall for his traps. When he sees himself falling for you, he’s going to pull out all of his traps in hopes of holding onto the control. Your job is to stay firm in your stance; not falling for any of his tricks and games. If you do, well, you completely lost the entire point of this.

#11 Know when you pull out. The entire point of this is to pull out just before he gets bored, and he will get bored. Invest just enough time for him to catch the bait. No one said being a player would be easy. That’s why cutting a player off right from the beginning is always the easiest solution. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

#12 Keep seeing other people. While you play him, make sure you don’t fall into your own trap. It’s funny how easily our brains trick us into falling for someone while we try make them fall for us. So, make sure you’re seeing other people, going out, and having fun.

[Read: How to take back your power from the guy who used you]

No one wants to be played by someone they have feelings for. Before saying goodbye, give him a taste of his own medicine by learning how to play a guy at his own game.

The post How to Play a Guy at His Own Game and Make Him Feel Miserable is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Relentless Pragmatism Pt. 3: Zen and Naturally Attractive Personas

Let’s talk about Zen Game and how to build a naturally attractive persona that draws women like moths to your flame. As always, there are two ways to go about it.

Hang on to your helmets, guys. Today’s article will be a healthy dose of relentless pragmatism.

We’re moving forward with the razor-sharp analysis of various dating methods and manuals that have taken over the seduction community since its conception several years ago.

Contents

1. Matthew and Pete’s Journey into Zen Game

2. Accessing Abundance or Creating Limitations?

3. The Polarizing Approach to Zen Game

4. The Maximizing Approach to Zen Game

5. Parting Thoughts

For the readers who’ve been following this series, today’s article is another impassioned yet comprehensive look at the three schools of seduction. These are the pervasive, overarching, lady-killer guidebooks the vast majority of advice, techniques, and dating tips are grouped into.

Read on as I give you an eye-opening and relentlessly pragmatic perspective on the ins and outs of each of the three schools:

• Volume Game Class: The Screeners
• Zen Game Class: The Naturals
• Influence Game Class: The Controllers

Now, if this is your first time seeing this distinction, don’t worry. I wrote a primer on these distinctive paths to dating success, detailing the importance of splitting the multitude of practical advice into these diverse categories.

This is a common experience as you work at an improved dating life. It’s easy to get confused after seeing all the tactics and methods that seem to be at odds with each other. This series should help clear that up. I’ve touched on each seduction class or school’s unique approach to getting girls, as well as advantages, disadvantages, and suitable venues to meet women.

In my last article, we started with a sharp dissection of the Volume game class, highlighting the subtle nuances of how to screen for interested women. I gave you processes to work with, so you can find the girls eager to bend over backward for Mr. Right Now. We did this by taking a pragmatic look at diverse crossroads on the screeners’ path to dating success through the eyes of two gritty and remarkably determined students of the game, Pete and Matthew.

Today’s article will pick up where we left off. Let’s follow these two successful screener’s joint decision to continue their journey toward new heights, by venturing into the Zen game class, with a focus on creating an attractive persona.

We’ll see how learning the natural’s perspective on meeting and bedding desirable women sharpens their intuitive understanding of what women find attractive. Matthew and Pete will be in the perfect position to augment and refine the dating skillsets they started developing in the Volume game class.

Pete and Matthew take diverging paths as they progress in this school of seduction. By learning alongside with them and following in their footsteps, you can also craft an attractive personality, develop your intuitive understanding of charisma, and find out how to transform your current traits into sexually persuasive ones.

Those who subscribe to the Zen game class learn from naturals. Their perspective on the path to dating success involves the application of attractive behaviors and fundamentals that naturally captivate the women who get to bask in your energy. Determined students of the Zen game class will meet lots of women and cold approach regularly. Once you get good, you’ll likely be sleeping with more women and getting laid more regularly compared to the majority of naturals. The typical natural relies on his social circles and prioritizes meeting women in niche venues like college campuses, the workplace, and career positions with social dominance.

So, if you’d like to join the esteemed ranks of men who intrigue, excite, and sweep women off their feet with a natural’s ease, read on.

How to Be a Witty Banter Master and Be the Fun Life of the Party

Everyone loves that one person who gives off the cuff remarks and makes everyone laugh. Can you learn the art of witty banter? It doesn’t hurt to try!

Some people are born naturally witty. They can have conversations which ebb and flow with ease, throwing in humorous remarks, and having their audience giggling and laughing without seeming to try too hard. These people are rare. Most of us have to work hard at witty banter. When it doesn’t come naturally, it’s quite difficult!

Forced wittiness isn’t actually comfortable to be around. Surely you’ve been in a conversation with someone who is trying so hard to be funny and witty, but it’s all just coming over as a little too try-hard. As a result, you’re left cringing. This is not the result you want.

If you want to be a pro at witty banter, you need to practice, and most importantly, work on your confidence, so that easy conversation flies off the tongue without second guessing. Impulse and on the spot remarks make up the very core of witty banter, but it’s all very important not to offend anyone. [Read: The 20 signs you’ve mastered the dry funny bone]

A guide to becoming a witty banter pro

If you’re keen to become wittier and hold a fun conversation with ease, it can be learned. The downside? It will take time and practice. There might be a few false starts along the way. Hang in there, you will get there in the end!

#1 Work on your overall confidence. It’s impossible to be witty and off the cuff with your remarks if you’re muttering and bumbling over your words. Working on your confidence and social ease will help you with the foundations of the subject. You can’t be witty if you’re not comfortable. This means practicing your conversational skills until your confidence grows.

It’s best to do this with people you feel comfortable with. With your own group of friends, simply try and say more. Work on remarks that simply pop into your head, seeing how your audience respond to them. The more you do it, the stronger you’ll feel in your ability. And it will help you in your natural witty banter endeavors! [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

#2 Be witty with those you have a natural rapport with. It’s not easy to be witty with total strangers or those you’re uncomfortable with. For instance, attempting to be witty in front of your boss, who you’re secretly terrified of, isn’t going to work.

Instead, keep your witty banter for those you have a natural affinity with. The people who get you and those who you understand. This will also cut down on the chances of you accidentally upsetting someone with a witty remark which is not intended to offend.

#3 Ask questions to help the conversation grow. You need material to bounce off of in order to be witty, and that means asking questions to help the conversation grow. Make sure that the questions you ask don’t simply require a “yes” or “no” reply.

Encourage them to add more to their answers as they speak. The single best way to develop witty banter is to let your conversational partner speak and then add in the odd witty comment as you go. [Read: Funny icebreaker questions to start a conversation with anyone]

#4 Never interrupt. The point of being witty isn’t to jump in with “know it all” remarks, that’s simply being annoying. What you need to do is listen and use what you hear to add humor to the conversation with your remarks. In order to do this, never interrupt. Simply listen and wait for the appropriate time to interject into the conversation instead.

#5 Have a memory bank of past experiences to call upon. The best way to develop your witty banter skills is through natural story telling. It’s easier to do this if you think of your own past experiences. You were there at the time, so you can add details which give the story depth. Then add ‘off the cuff’ remarks which make the story even funnier.

Sit and think of a few stories you can tell at your next witty banter practice sessions, or you can think of them as you go along. Whatever feels natural to you and helps you feel more confident overall.

#6 Remember that offending people isn’t cool. We all have different opinions, beliefs, and cultures, and that means treading very carefully on subjects which may cause offense. Steer clear of anything which is considered sensitive. Stick to inoffensive subjects and easy to understand for everyone. Never speak about religion, sexuality, disabilities, cultural differences, or anything in those types of categories.

You have no way of gauging someone’s reaction, because you do not know their opinion or beliefs beforehand. Stick to neutral subjects for the best reaction. [Read: The 9 golden rules to keep evolving into a better human]

#7 The smaller details are often the funniest. You’re not attempting to become a standup comedian, but the whole point of witty banter is to make someone else smile or feel good. Many people use sarcasm for wittiness. But often, a small detail in the story or comment stands out above everything else. I mentioned story telling previous experiences, so come up with a few and pick out humorous small details to zoom in on. [Read: How to master the art of storytelling and become more interesting]

#8 Know when to stop. Have you ever been in that situation where someone is very funny and witty, but they just continue on and don’t seem to know when the stop point is. It all gets a little too much. Going from witty and funny to awkward and cringe-worthy in what seems like an instant. Know when the banter has run its course. Don’t continue on, attempting to be even funnier. Less is more!

#9 Making fun of people is never a good idea. It’s true that people bond over their mutual dislike of something or someone. It doesn’t mean you should pick on others in order to be witty. This will give you a reputation of being nasty rather than the witty, fun person you’re attempting to be.

You also shouldn’t pick on other people or make fun of them generally. You wouldn’t like it if someone did the same to you, would you? If you want to poke fun at yourself, by all means go for it. As long as you’re not damaging your self-esteem, self-deprecating remarks can be very witty indeed. [Read: The powerful rules for a happy, positive, and meaningful life]

#10 Practice makes perfect. If you’re not born with the witty banter gene, learning how to do it can be difficult and timely. Don’t give up! The more you practice, the easier it will become. Think of your wittiness as a muscle that needs to be strengthened. It’s a little slack and wobbly at the moment. Once you’ve been to the gym for a few weeks, it becomes firmer, more defined, and stronger. Your witty banter skills are the same!

If comments flying off the cuff don’t come naturally to you, stick with it and observe what is going on around you. As you become more confident, you’ll trust yourself to simply let fly with remarks that pop into your head, provided they’re not offensive, of course.

[Read: How to be charming and liked by everyone]

While we’d all love to be naturally funny and have the art of witty banter down pat, it’s not the case for everyone. Practice makes perfect and confidence is key. 

The post How to Be a Witty Banter Master and Be the Fun Life of the Party is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Why Being Ghosted Hurts So Much & What You Need To Do About It

We all know breakups majorly suck. Do you ever wonder why being ghosted hurts so much? Well, I do and I know what to do about it too.

If you have dated in the last five years or so, you have probably been ghosted. Ghosting is just the name of the game nowadays. There are no more breakups or conversations when someone loses interest, but instead, silence. Silence to contemplate why being ghosted hurts so much.

Now, there are the rare decent people who won’t ghost. Sadly, they are few and far between.

And even with the increase in ghosting, it seems like it still doesn’t make much sense. There are no answers or reasons. It just happens. You are left to deal with it and the pain and confusion that goes along with it. [Read: What is ghosting and how does it affect you?]

Why being ghosted is so confusing

Now, in a normal breakup, you usually get a reason. You can go to your friends and vent and move on because you have closure. But, when you’re ghosted you have a breakup without any of that. 

To anyone that has never been ghosted it may seem odd to fret over someone you weren’t technically dating, as ghosting usually happens in that “what are we?” phase.

But, being ghosted can be a huge loss without reason. The reason we dwell so long when being ghosted is that we have a lot to consider. We constantly wonder what went long. We want to know if we did something wrong. And we need to know why.

Without that clarification, the not knowing eats away at our confidence, our trust, our judgment, and our hope.

When you don’t get the closure a breakup requires, even something casual or early can feel so much worse. Not having an answer prevents you from moving. You stir in that confusion for so long. [Read: Ghosted after the very first date? 13 ways to quell the rage]

Why being ghosted hurts so much

Confusion is not the only reason why being ghosted hurts so much. There is a major lack of respect when you’re ghosted. It feels like a slap in the face.

This person you were hopeful about and probably talked to regularly and almost definitely had a connection with, ditched you without so much as a goodbye.

Enduring that lack of respect makes you feel like you don’t deserve it. It makes you feel unworthy of decency. And that’s only the edge of all the feelings that come along with being ghosted.

After the lack of respect comes uncertainty. You wonder what you did wrong. You read those messages over and over to see where things went south. Maybe you check their social media to see if they’re active.

This not only makes you feel like crap but also like you’re crazy. Logging onto social media to see if the person that ghosted you really ghosted you or just went dark online completely, is a lot. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 real reasons why guys turn into cowardly pricks]

We rationalize it and hope that we are reading too much into it. So, we tell ourselves they’re just busy or lost their phone or accidentally deleted our number. We will hope that we are not being ghosted.

And this leads to the next stage of pain caused by being ghosted. We hesitate. Whenever we start talking to someone new, we wonder when they will ghost us. Will it be in a week? A month? Will we even get to meet someone from that dating site before they ghost?

We now go into every potential relationship waiting to be ghosted. We question if someone is telling the truth right off the bat. We can’t take what people say at face value because we have before and we’ve been burned.

And we don’t just lose trust in other people but in ourselves. We lose faith in our own judgment. We never know when someone will seem so right only to ghost us in a few weeks. [Read: How to stop loving someone else and love yourself more]

A ghosting pattern?

And one of the big reasons why being ghosted hurts so much more is that it isn’t a one-time rejection. It tends to be a pattern. Once you’ve been ghosted, it happens again and again.

It isn’t the same as pure rejection because you don’t even get feedback. You are just dropped from someone’s life and meant to pick up the pieces all on your own.

Your friends tell you that it is better you learned this now and not after getting even more emotionally attached, and you know it’s true, but it doesn’t take away the hurt.

Being hurt by ghosting leaves a mark on you that is different than your average breakup because you don’t learn from it. You don’t get stronger or really recover from it.

There is nothing to learn or gain from being ghosted. There are often no red flags or signs you can decipher to know if it is coming. And if you build a wall so you can’t be hurt by someone else who may ghost you, you only bring negativity and doubt into every future situation.

That is the thing about being ghosted. There is no silver lining or bright side. Being ghosted just sucks, pure and simple. [Read: Haunting vs. ghosting and why haunting is so much worse]

What to do when you’ve been ghosted

I know up until now this article has probably just depressed you further about being ghosted. I mean it could have helped you feel heard or related to which is great, but that’s not all I’m here for.

I may not be able to take away the pain caused by being ghosted, but I can remind you of all the reasons someone ghosts. What will this do? Well, it reminds you that anyone who ghosts is not worth your time, attention, tears, or even thoughts.

When someone ghosts you, they show you that they are a coward. Do you want to be with a coward? I don’t. [Read: 5 signs of ghosting and 5 ways to deal with it]

There is no logical, explainable, or acceptable excuse for ghosting. But, if you are looking for what to do when you’ve been ghosted, I advise you remind yourself of these facts about ghosting.

#1 Anyone who ghosts is lazy.

#2 Anyone who ghosts is afraid of not just confrontation, but communication.

#3 Anyone who ghosts is a jerk.

#4 Anyone who ghosts is disrespectful.

#5 Anyone who ghosts doesn’t see you as an equal, deserving of decency.

#6 Anyone who ghosts is immature.

#7 Anyone who ghosts thinks their time is more valuable than yours.

#8 Anyone who ghosts doesn’t care about you or your feelings.

#9 Anyone who ghosts is sure to be dysfunctional in a relationship. [Read: Prepare yourself for the 10 consequences of ghosting]

#10 You are not the problem. It is the person that ghosted you that is the problem.

I know why being ghosted hurts like hell, yet I am still hurt by it when it happens. There is no preventing it or running from it. All you can do is remind yourself how crappy the person who ghosted you is. Remind yourself that they didn’t ghost you because of you, but because of them. [Read: 15 ways to ghostbust a ghoster like a real badass]

It isn’t much help in taking away the pain or confusion of ghosting, but it reminds you that even with the pain and confusion of being ghosted, you are worth a hell of a lot more than that.

[Read: How to find closure with yourself after a relationship]

So, why does being ghosted hurt so much? Because jerks are good actors that make us feel foolish. But that is all they are, a bunch of jerks.

The post Why Being Ghosted Hurts So Much & What You Need To Do About It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What Makes a Good Friend: The Art of Honing Your Friendship Skills

We all pride ourselves on our friendship skills, but do you really know what makes a good friend deep down? You might be surprised!

Everyone needs friendship in their lives. A good friend will carry you through the hard times and be by your side throughout it all. Most of us think we’re the best friend possible, but do you really know what makes a good friend?

Friendship is extremely important to me. I don’t actually have a huge squad, but I’ve always gone down the quality over quantity route. I can probably count my true friends on one hand. But I only have one friend who I know would be there for me through absolutely everything life could ever throw at me. Don’t be sad, I’m lucky to have her!

For many people, the same story rings true. If you want to welcome more friends into your life and ensure that you’re the best you can be for the ones you already have, know what makes a good friend in the first place.

Of course, you’re probably already thinking of a few no-brainer entries on that list. Some of them you might not actually think of first hand. For example, a true friend isn’t afraid to be honest with you at all times, whether you like their opinion or not. Sometimes tough love is a true pillar of friendship.

[Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]

What makes a good friend? 9 signs to lookout for

To help you figure out what makes a good friend to better your own friendship skills, let’s check out nine aspects of true friendship. How many can you tick off from the get-go?

#1 The ability to make you laugh, no matter how you feel. A true friend is someone who puts a smile on your face to take your mind from any heartache or negativity you might be feeling. Of course, they also know exactly what to say or do to raise that smile. They know you inside out.

It takes compassion and empathy to recognize when a friend is in need, and it takes strength of character to be able to hold them up and make them smile. Is this something you do on a regular basis? If not, work out their sense of humor hotspots, and use them wisely, when required. [Read: How to be a good friend by following the BFF code]

#2 Selflessness when you need them the most. What makes a good friend different from all the rest lies in their ability to be there for you when required. Of course, this doesn’t mean they should always drop absolutely everything to be at your doorstep whenever you have a bad day, but it does mean that when you really need them in the hard times, they’re there for you, whether in person or on the end of a phone.

How many times in the recent past have you been selfless with your friends in need? Most of us find it easy to have too much on our own plates. Sometimes a friend in need is someone you need to be there for above all else.

#3 They do their best to understand you. We’re all different. For instance, my friend is a very different personality to me. She is extremely strong and can walk away from people and situations at the drop of a hat. She is able to turn her emotions on and off. I, on the other hand, cannot do any of those things. Despite that, I do my best to understand her and love her for her differences.

If we were all the same, life would be very boring indeed. By allowing ourselves to see different character traits and accept and appreciate them, we learn to become better friends. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

#4 They love to help you celebrate your successes. A friend who will be by your side through good and bad is a true godsend. Of course, we all highlight the fact a true friend is there when things aren’t going well, but what about when things are wonderful?

Most people disappear at these times, either through jealousy or because they simply don’t care. It’s sad, but true. On the other hand, what makes a good friend is the ability to genuinely want to celebrate your successes with you. They take just as much joy in you succeeding, as you do!

#5 The ability to really listen. We all think we’re good listeners. Most of us aren’t. If you find yourself drifting off when someone is explaining something to you, thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner, or something else entirely, you’re probably part of the majority. What makes a good friend is really about the ability to listen, not only to words, but also to the things not being said.

They will be able to read your body language and put together what you’re saying with the things they’re noticing. As a result, they know how you’re really feeling. They’ll offer advice and guidance based on that.

Take the time to notice the body language of the person speaking to you, their tone, and speed of voice, and put it all together. By doing this, you can be there for someone who needs you, even if they don’t admit that they do. [Read: How you can stop being a selfish person]

#6 They have your back, whether you’re there or not. Let’s be honest, we live in rather bitchy times. There aren’t many friends who will have your back whether you’re with them or not. If they hear someone talking badly about you when you’re not around, would they go over and back you up? Probably not.

What makes a good friend quite literally amazing is the ability to stick up for you through thick and thin. You’re their lobster, to quote a Friends episode, but in a strictly friendship-based way. This is a friend you should keep in your life no matter what.

#7 Loyalty in the face of adversity. Humans are selfish. We all are, me included. That means that sometimes we find it hard to put the best interests of others before our own. Of course, sometimes you should put your own interests first, but not always. A friend who is loyal to you and sticks by you is precious. What about being loyal in the face of adversity?

Would they put their own needs before yours all the time? This is something to think about, and something for you to explore in terms of what you would do for your own friends.

#8 Valuing the friendship above all else. What makes a good friend? Understanding the value of friendship from the get-go. How important is friendship in your life? Do you lean on it and cherish it, or do you simply assume it will be there regardless of what life throws at you? A true friend is someone who values your friendship and understands the importance you bring to their life.

Examine how you feel about the friendships in your life. Do you feel you could live without them? If so, maybe they’re not as special as you think they are, or maybe it’s your take on what friendship is, which needs a slight adjustment. [Read: The real art of true and meaningful relationships]

#9 Honesty, whether you want to hear it or not. A true friend will tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not. This is tough love, something we all need on occasion.

Maybe you have a burning crush on someone, but your friend is warning you off. You might wonder if they’re trying to rain on your parade? If your friend then sits you down and tells you that this person doesn’t like you that way and they know it for a fact, they’re doing it because they care.

They’re attempting to stop you from making a fool of yourself or putting yourself in an embarrassing situation. You might not like it, but it’s for your own good. Your friend knows this.

[Read: The 15 qualities that set a good friend apart]

What makes a good friend isn’t all about squads and the ability to look great on a joint selfie. It’s about valuing what friendship is at its very core: loyalty, compassion, empathy, and honesty.

The post What Makes a Good Friend: The Art of Honing Your Friendship Skills is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.