How Not to Rush Into a Relationship & Avoid an Early Crash and Burn

When everything is going well it can be easy to settle down quickly, but learning how not to rush into a relationship will benefit you in the long run.

Rushing into a relationship isn’t usually something you plan on doing, it just happens. When you don’t take the time to slow down and really get to know each other, things can move too quickly. Learning how not to rush into a relationship is key when it comes to having a lasting relationship. But, it is easier said than done.

When you rush into a relationship, it happens without you even noticing. And sometimes it can feel so right and that’s great, but may not be sustainable.

Why it is so easy to rush into a relationship

Practically speaking, it should be easy not to rush into a relationship. You know that rushing in without thinking or really knowing someone probably won’t work out and may lead to both of you being hurt.

But, that is the problem when romantic feelings are involved, logic and reason go out the window. [Read: 20 speedy signs your relationship is starting to move way too fast]

We move into relationships with our hearts or our hormones rather than our minds. Of course, passion and love have a strong place in relationships too, but throwing in a bit of logic can help.

The reason we overlook those things and end up rushing into a relationship without planning it out is that things feel good in the beginning. You haven’t fought or probably been through anything severe together so you are grasping those good feelings.

Wanting to keep those feelings going leads us to rush. We become official on social media, bring our new partner to family gatherings, and maybe even move in together or get engaged because you can only see things being as good as they are now. [Read: The honeymoon phase and how long it takes for normal love to fade to nothing]

We don’t want to anticipate bad times or be negative about our potential future so we have hope that things will stay good. We also fear the relationship ending if it isn’t growing.

But, without more experiences and serious discussions with someone, the faster you rush the harder the crash will be.

Why not to rush into a relationship

I’m sure you’ve heard of that couple that got married after three months together and has been happily married for 50 years, and that is wonderful, but how often does that really happen?

Relationships are magical and romantic but we also have to be realistic. If we assumed all high school couples would become high school sweethearts and that every first date led to a second, we would be pretty let down. [Read: All the reasons why most of us never end up with our high school romances]

Rushing into a relationship can feel like a fairy tale at first, but it can go downhill very quickly. Think about how many times you or a friend dated someone and it was great until the 3-6 month mark. ??When you haven’t had to go through things together, had disagreements, or even shared your true feelings, things can seem easy. But rushing into a relationship based on a purely good times is naive and likely disastrous.

I’ve seen couples rush into a relationship because it seemed right at first only to fall into a comfortable routine and even get engaged before realizing they didn’t want the same things.

After years of being together they still hadn’t had a real talk about their future because they rushed into things before that and never wanted to break out of what they rushed into.

No matter how long you’re together for, when you rush into a relationship, it can be risky. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples must go through in their timeline]

How not to rush into a relationship

As someone who has been known a time or two to rush into a relationship, I have first-hand knowledge about exactly what not to do.

I’ve rushed into relationships because I felt that my nerves and fears would go away of I was in an “official” and committed relationship. But, what I didn’t know is that rushing into that makes things worse. It can ruin a good thing. It can hurt more if it doesn’t work out. And it can get your hopes up irrationally.

If you’re wondering how not to rush into a relationship, here are a few things you need to know. Of course, every relationship moves at it own pace, but some things in a relationship should be taken slower. If you rush these things too soon, things can become overwhelming and cause a rift before things even get going. [Read: Instant relationships – How to slow down instead and avoid this]

#1 Meeting the family. Sure, when you live at home, it can be hard not to meet your new boo’s family right away, but even so, rushing into family time can be a lot for a freshly budding romance. Usually meeting your partner’s family is a sign that you see things moving forward.

You want your family to meet your partner because you want them to feel comfortable at family gatherings in the future. But, if you rush into this before you are sure you want this, not only are you putting a lot of pressure on your new partner, but also on the relationship.

Families are great and all but they tend to be a bit nosy and having to answer questions you don’t know how to answer can make you feel uneasy. [Read: 10 relationship milestones and when they generally happen]

#2 Staying overnight. Again, if your relationship started off with a one night stand more power to you, but staying over at your partner’s place consistently in the beginning can put unneeded strain on something so new.

It is one thing to fall asleep after sexy time or a boring movie. But staying over at their place or having them stay with you can be like a mini-move-in. This can be nice for couples that are already grounded in their relationship, but rushing this part can toss annoyances in bit too early when you’re wondering how not to rush into a relationship too early.

#3 Staying in. Everyone loves a good Netflix and chill night, but avoiding dates out in public right off that bat to be comfy on the couch can spoil what makes a new relationship so exciting.

Even if you are a lazy introvert like me, getting out just for dinner or a movie can keep your relationship exciting for longer. The sooner you start ordering in instead of going out, the sooner you stop putting in the effort and getting lazy with each other.

#4 Saying “I love you.” The big “L” word is a doozy for relationships. It is like a precursor for a proposal. It means a lot and says you are serious about this person. So saying it without it being returned can end things or at least make them super awkward. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time]

Now you should box in how you feel, but letting the intoxication of a new relationship mask itself as love too early on can lead you to regret saying something later on which then makes things a lot more complicated.

No matter how much you think you like or even love someone early on, make sure you can see yourself in this for a while before saying it because you can’t take that back. [Read: How to deal with saying ‘I love you’ and not hearing it back]

#5 Comfort. Now, you should always be comfortable with who you’re dating, but nerves are actually healthy early on. Getting butterflies, trying to hide a fart, or not eating garlic around them let’s you ease into it.

Breaking those boundaries too soon can diffuse the tension, the mystery, and the flirtation of an early courting.

#6 Moving in together. Although moving in together as a couple can seem practical for financial reasons, it can be detrimental for emotional and mental ones. If you’re wondering how not to rush into a relationship, you need to keep in mind that rushing from a relationship into a live-in relationship can introduce you to a lot of someone very soon and it removes most of the privacy you have.

Not to mention, the fall out of this if things don’t work out. The complication of taking names off of leases and returning each other’s things can be torture when going through a breakup.

It can seem exciting and romantic to move in together but rushing that relationship into something so intense can cause things to burn very quickly. [Read: Wanna shack up with your partner? 18 things you MUST keep in mind]

#7 Being your soulmate. Learning how not to rush into a relationship is not easy. Our first instinct is to hold onto what we like. So when a relationship starts off good, we want to stick with it. But, infatuation can fade very quickly.

You may commit to your partner and yourself that they are your soulmate but what that does is leave you with little choice. You commit yourself to this person and want to make it work no matter what, but some relationships are not meant to be. Sometimes things are manipulative, dysfunctional, or you just bring out the worst in each other.

Claiming someone as your soulmate because of early affections can lock you into something and someone you may not truly want.

[Read: How to take a relationship slow but not so slow that it ends]

So, are you going to break the cycle of too much too fast and transform these tips of how not to rush into a relationship into actions?

The post How Not to Rush Into a Relationship & Avoid an Early Crash and Burn is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Attract Your "Type" of Girl, Part 2: By Race

In Part 2, we go over some girl types (by race) and their general preferences in men. We also lay out the fundamentals you’ll want to develop in order to get with them.

In Part 1 of this series, we talked about how every guy specializes in certain kinds of women as they get better in the game. We discussed the key ingredient to specialize in women (your fundamentals): how you stylize your appearance and behavior. Your image to others will attract or repel particular types of women. Therefore, changing this is the key to a successful specialty.

Of course, guys also want specific types of girls. Maybe you’re a foreign guy who longs for a western blonde woman, or you’re a white or black guy who wants to experience a foreign, exotic beauty.

Contents

I. Types of Women

1. American White Girls
2. European White Girls
3. Asian Women
4. Latina Women
5. Black Women

II. Specializing: The Key to Getting Better

Either way, there are two groups of women: (1) the women who are attracted to your current looks and behavior, and (2) the women you want. Combining those two groups into one is the crux of successful specialization.

Guys hit a slam dunk when they successfully modify their fundamentals and appearance to be naturally attractive to the same women that they seek! In other words, you can change yourself and your appearance to attract the women you want in your life.

Even better, a girl’s preference is only a part of what she wants. Game is dependent on building a girl’s desire with you in the moment. You can get plenty of girls for whom you are not their preference, simply by instigating and creating their desire through the use of game.

Cute Relationship Goals All New Couples Need in Their Checklist

You’ve met the love of your life, and you’re ticking off cute relationship goals one by one. Life is good! But, what exactly are those goals?

You’re on the fast track road to coziness and total bliss, and you keep hearing about cute relationship goals and checklists all the time. But what are they, and how many more have you got left to achieve?

Every relationship is different, and we certainly shouldn’t focus too much on comparisons with other couples. So what if Sally and Mark from down the road have just got engaged and they’ve only been together six months, and you’ve been together four years?

There is no timeline to a relationship, and you certainly shouldn’t put pressure on yourselves, or feel lacking, because you’re not hitting the same so-called milestones as them! What you can do however, is look towards these cute relationship goals, to prove that you’re making progress at your own pace.

[Read: 14 unrealistic relationship expectations that WILL ruin your love life]

For me, my first relationship goal with my guy was a total Netflix binge on a Sunday morning. It was bliss, and it made me feel like there was no world outside of our window. We didn’t move from the sofa other than to go to the bathroom and charge our phones, simply so we could order pizza to fuel our box set marathon!

Cute relationship goals you need in your life

Of course, everyone’s idea of the perfect cute relationship goals might be subtly different, but if you want an idea of what types of things we’re talking about, these are some cute relationship goals to work towards.

#1 Seeing the world with the one you love. We’re starting off big here, but heading to new places and seeing the world one destination at a time with the one you love is something very special indeed. You’re making memories, and you’re experiencing new things for the first time together. This will only strengthen your bond and of course, give you plenty of material for amazing Instagrammable photos to make everyone back home jealous!

It doesn’t have to be about far-flung destinations, it can be something as small as heading the next city for a weekend away. It’s basically about seeing somewhere new, but doing it together, as a couple. [Read: How soon is too soon to start traveling with your partner]

#2 Finally reaching that ‘take me as I am’ phase. Is there anything more wonderful than feeling 100% comfortable with a new beau? You can wear what you want, eat what you want, not wear make up, and it doesn’t matter, because you feel completely safe in the knowledge that they love you no matter what.

Whilst it might take a little time to actually reach this phase, and for me it took about 18 months, when you get there, it’s one of the best feelings you will have in your relationship. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through in their relationship timeline]

#3 A tender kiss on the forehead. Okay, we’ve done huge gestures and cute relationship goals like trips away, but it can be something as small and tender as a kiss on the forehead. A kiss here isn’t just a kiss, it’s certainly not a peck on the cheek, but it is a warm, tender, and gentle moment that whispers far more than you will know at the time. It says ‘I love you’, it says ‘you’re mine’, it says ‘I adore you’.

If your sweetheart starts kissing you on the forehead, it’s a great sign! [Read: What a forehead kiss actually means and why it’s so special to everyone]

#4 Passionate debates, and no offense taken. It’s a great feeling when you can debate on a particular subject, e.g. something going on in the news, and something you feel passionate about, and know that you’re not going to be judged on your views, and that nobody is going to take offense. When you reach that point in your relationship, you’re really hitting those cute relationship goals, because having the safe feeling of being able to talk about whatever you want is something money certainly can’t buy.

Of course, remember that this works both ways, and you have to be equally as respectful and accepting of your partner’s views too!

#5 Netflix binge. This is my personal favorite, and the one which put me and my guy on the route towards total loved up bliss. Sitting in your pajamas all day, or even in bed with the duvet for total coziness, hooked up to the TV or laptop, and Netflix on repeat, is the single best way to spend quality time together. You’re cuddling, you don’t have your phones for distraction, and who knows where it might lead in the heat of the moment?

Netflix and chill might be the dating equivalent of a suggestion of a hook up, but Netflix and lazy binge is my number 1 favorite! [Read: 15 romantic gestures in a new relationship new couples must learn]

#6 Hand holding for no reason whatsoever. If you notice that you’re walking down the street, sitting in the car, or generally lazing on the sofa and his hand works its way into yours, you’re hitting one of the best cute relationship goals around.

This shows gentleness, protectiveness, and it shows love. Of course, it could also show other guys around that you’re taken, but when that is done in a quiet and understated way such as this, surely that’s just as cute too?

#7 You’re the one your partner comes to when they’re upset. If you’re the one your new love comes to when they’re upset about something, you’re special. Most people don’t let their emotional guards down easily in general, and if you’re seeing your partner with their guard down, that is a tender moment that you need to handle carefully, but one you need to smile about on the inside because of what it means.

This is one of the cute relationship goals we’re talking about, and one which might be upsetting in terms of seeing your partner down, but the fact they trust you enough to reveal their emotional side is a positive sign for your relationship.

#8 Talking about your dreams and aspirations. Whilst making plans for the future might be scary to some, talking about dreams and aspirations is one of the best cute relationship goals you need on your list. When we talk about our dreams, we only do it with people we trust and care about.

We are opening ourselves up and trusting someone else not to laugh or ridicule what we have on our minds. It’s similar to the last goal we talked about, because you don’t tell everyone you meet your main aims and dreams in life!

If you and your lover are talking about the future, i.e. what you both want and need, and if you’re planning to do it together, you’re making steps towards actually achieving those things too. [Read: Relationship closeness inventory – 20 signs to test your intimacy]

How many cute relationship goals have you ticked off?

Remember, this is not a contest! There is no ticking clock telling you when you need to have achieved anything by, and you should always go at your own pace, i.e., go with that very confusing flow! But, looking at the list we’ve just talked about, how many have you ticked off so far? [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

If you’ve achieved any of them, you’ll know how wonderful it is to feel that close to someone, especially if you have real feelings for them. When someone opens up to you and shows you affection, it isn’t always done verbally, and it’s often a case of looking for the small clues, e.g. the kiss on the forehead, or the random handholding.

Make sure that you’re showing your new partner the same signs of affection too! It can be all too easy to look for it coming from the other person, but forget that relationships are a two way street. We need to be natural with our affection when we feel strongly about another person.

[Read: 15 more real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]

Your partner might not be as acutely aware of these cute relationships goals as you are, but that doesn’t mean these goals won’t mean something to them! So express yourself without holding back, and your love will only get better!

The post Cute Relationship Goals All New Couples Need in Their Checklist is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Signs of Codependency to Know if You’re Being Taken For Granted

You and your partner are like two peas in a pod. But extreme codependency is not healthy for either of you. Let’s find out the signs of codependency.

My first serious relationship had alarming signs of codependency on both sides of the relationship. I relied on my partner for my happiness, and always had an excuse ready for his poor and controlling behavior. Needless to say, the relationship was one-sided, and I spent most of my time making huge sacrifices while he expected me to make them.

And that’s what a codependent relationship is. It’s when one person is significantly investing more into the relationship than the other partner. For example, I wanted to help my partner, and I took his struggles as my own. This made me even more connected to him than I actually was.

How to recognize a codependent relationship

Codependent relationships aren’t always easy to spot out right away. People who are “takers” will throw their partners small rewards here and there, making sure they come back for more.

At the same time, I was feeling I wasn’t myself anymore; my happiness was dependent on him and his feelings. Of course, some people are more dominant in their relationships, and that doesn’t mean it’s codependent. But if you’re feeling like your relationship isn’t going down a healthy path, you may be in a codependent relationship.

[Read: How to spot selfish people and stop them from hurting you]

15 alarming signs of codependency that start the pattern

Let’s cut the unhealthy pattern. Are you seeing any of these signs of codependency in your relationship? It may seem like the two of you are very close at first, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you start to feel like you or your partner can’t function without each other’s presence, perhaps one of you is preventing the other from growing.

#1 Your partner’s feelings come first. It’s normal for you to consider your partner’s feelings and sometimes put your own needs to the side. But if you’re always putting your partner’s feelings first without consulting your own, this is an unhealthy sign of codependency. If you’re not comfortable, you should be able to say ‘no.’ [Read: When you truly love someone, should you do anything for them?]

#2 Your partner manipulates you during fights. Sometimes we say things we shouldn’t say when we’re arguing. But, as a relationship evolves, boundaries are built, and people learn to communicate with one another. If your partner is manipulating you during arguments, then it’s a clear sign it’s not a healthy space. [Read: 15 signs of manipulation in a relationship you shouldn’t ignore]

#3 Your partner’s happiness is your priority. Listen, you should put your partner’s feelings as a priority, but that doesn’t mean their feelings should go before yours.

This is tricky, and yes, sometimes you will need to make sacrifices, but only to a point. If you always put their feelings before yours, this can cause resentment and codependency.

#4 You don’t have a sense of personal identity. One of the clearest signs of codependency is when you start losing your sense of identity. It’s perfectly normal for couples to do things together and have similar opinions, but you’re also your own person. Your happiness should not rely on your relationship because you have other things in your life, such as friends, family, and hobbies. [Read: How to stop being codependent and have a healthy relationship]

#5 You have excuses for your partner’s behavior. We all have our flaws, and sometimes we do or say things that aren’t right. But through those experiences, we learn life lessons. However, your partner doesn’t have to take responsibility for their actions because you always have an excuse for them.

#6 You struggle to make decisions in your relationship. In healthy relationships, it’s normal for partners to make decisions on behalf of the relationship. You’re with your partner because you trust their discretion. However, you struggle to make decisions in your relationship. If anything, most of the decision making is done by your partner, taking away from the ideas of “togetherness.”

#7 You feel your partner’s pain. When our partners go through a tough time, naturally, we empathize with them. You may feel you need to take on your partner’s emotional burden, placing it on your shoulders. You don’t want to see your partner is in pain, but when you’re codependent, you take their pain and make it your own. [Read: What does a healthy relationship look like? The steps you need to build one]

#8 You feel taken advantage of. You’re full of kindness and love, and your partner knows that. These qualities are what people want in their partners, but some people take advantage of them. If you’re not feeling appreciated and used, then this is one of those signs of codependency which could be used against you. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted]

#9 You fear being abandoned. Though you may not feel good about your codependent relationship, you fear being abandoned by them. This is one of the reasons why you continue to be in the relationship, even though you know it’s not healthy, you don’t want them to leave you.

#10 You give, your partner takes. In the relationship, you’re constantly giving to your partner, which isn’t necessarily bad. In a healthy relationship, you need to invest in your relationship. But this only works when both people are giving into the relationship. If someone is codependent, they’re taking more from the relationship then they’re giving. [Read: 16 clear signs to know if you’re in a relationship with a user]

#11 You struggle to communicate your needs. Though your partner is always able to communicate their needs to you and have them fulfilled, you’re not able to communicate your needs. And if you do, your needs are either ignored or put down.

#12 You avoid fighting by suppressing your feelings. Since your partner doesn’t fight fair, you avoid any confrontations with them. But, in essence, all you’re doing is suppressing your feelings, which makes you feel worse about yourself and your relationship. In a healthy relationship, you can freely speak your mind and have productive arguments.

#13 You feel trapped. In the beginning, your relationship and dependency on each other were endearing and seen as signs of love. But now, you’re starting to feel trapped. You aren’t able to speak your mind, you’re needs aren’t being met, and you prioritize your partner over yourself. You no longer feel equal in your relationship. [Read: Controlling vs caring – A thin line controlling people love to cross]

#14 Your partner exhibits controlling behavior. When you two are arguing, for example, they’ll use the relationship against you. For example, for you two to be together, they’ll suggest you stop seeing your friends or family. Or, they’ll use the relationship as a way to continue negative behavior such as drug abuse or drinking.

#15 You take on your partner’s problems. When you’re codependent, you can’t handle seeing your partner in pain. Though not literally, figuratively speaking, you try to take their pain away from them. But, by doing this, you end up jeopardizing your own feelings and mental health, as you become responsible for their feelings.

[Read: Am I codependent? 14 signs you’re clingy and overstepping boundaries]

As you learned, codependency isn’t necessarily bad. But when it goes to extremes, you can lose yourself in a relationship. If you see these signs in your relationship, it’s time to make a change.

The post 15 Signs of Codependency to Know if You’re Being Taken For Granted is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The Beta Cuck: The Real Meaning & What It Means to Be a Sexual Cuck

Maybe someone’s called you a beta cuck, and you’re not sure what it means. Or you know what it means, but you’re wondering if it’s normal. Let’s find out.

When it comes to knowing the world of sex, we’ve created a list of things that are considered sexual norms. But in reality, sex isn’t something you can define and stuff into one box. Sex is extremely subjective. And that’s something you need to understand before we delve into what a beta cuck is.

Some couples don’t physically touch each other, yet, when they stare into each other’s eyes, they feel they’re having sex. Does that fit into the framework of “conventional sex?” Absolutely not! If anything, most people would struggle to accept that staring into someone’s eyes could be equated to sex.

But for that couple, it is sex. Some people wear gags and leashes, indulging in acts that some other people wouldn’t consider to be sex. So, what I’m trying to get at is sex is subjective.

[Read: The top 50 kinky sex ideas everyone’s gotta try at least once]

What is a beta cuck?

That was a sweet introduction to the world of sex, but now we’re going to get into the topic of beta cucks. Maybe you’ve been called this phrase in an insulting way, and you have no idea what it even means. But now that you’ve heard the term, you see more than ever.

Yet, you still don’t know what the hell it means. Of course, you probably Googled it, and that’s how you landed here. Well, when in doubt, Google it. I don’t want to just throw you a definition; I want to give you a deeper understanding of what a beta cuck is and means. [Read: The 11 most common sexual fetishes + 5 really weird ones]

The 101 complete guide to understand what a beta cuck really is

Here’s everything you need to know.

#1 What is a beta cuck? Okay, before I break it down, it’s important you know that it’s a compound word. So, both words have their own meanings, but when put together, a new meaning is born. So, ‘beta’ can be used in different situations, just like the word ‘cuck.’

#2 What does ‘beta’ mean? You may often hear about ‘alpha men,’ but you rarely hear ‘beta men.’ There’s this idea that ‘alpha’ men exist, and these men are considered ‘winners,’ whereas ‘beta’ men are a step lower than them. But, in essence, ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ men don’t exist. They were just used to give an unrealistic idea of what it means to be a man. Being an ‘alpha’ male means to be dominant, and a ‘beta’ is the opposite.

#3 What does ‘cuck’ mean? The word ‘cuck’ actually is a shortened version of ‘cuckold.’ And a cuckold is a man who’s married to an adulterous wife. Now, the wife isn’t cheating behind her husband’s back. A cuckold is a man who is turned on by watching his partner, whether it’s his wife or girlfriend, sleep with other men. So, a cuckold is a man who enjoys watching their partner sleep with other people. [Read: The cuckold fantasy – Everything you ever wanted to know about it]

#4 So what does a ‘beta cuck’ really mean then? When you take these two definitions and put them together, you have a beta cuck. It’s a non-alpha man who enjoys watching his partner have sex with other people. This labels men who enjoy being a cuck as being weak, insecure, and without a backbone.

#5 Being a cuck isn’t bad. I’m not going to include the word ‘beta’ when I describe someone who is turned on by being a cuck. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with you if this is what turns you on. Feeling pleasure by watching your partner have sex with someone else doesn’t make you less of a person. Of course, if it’s making you feel bad, then you should investigate those feelings and see where they’re coming from. [Read: Cuckqueens and their fetish to watch their man with another woman]

#6 The BDSM and swingers communities are full of cucks. You’re not the only one in the world that gets turned on by this. The BDSM and swingers communities are full of men who consider themselves cucks. Of course, if you’re a swinger, you need to feel comfortable watching your partner have sex with other people. And if you get turned on by it, it works out even better for you.

#7 Is there consent? Of course! You need to have consent from both parties for it to be considered not cheating. If your partner is sleeping with other people, and you don’t know about it, well, that’s cheating. But if you both agree to this arrangement, then it’s consensual, and it’s not cheating. [Read: The soft swap and how to ease your partner into swinging]

#8 ‘Cuck’ as an alt-right insult. Yes, you read that right. We live in weird times right now, but I think it’s pretty hilarious that the alt-right even figured out what a beta cuck is. The alt-right has been using ‘cuck’ as an insult, as they see it as a sign of weakness and passiveness. But this doesn’t mean you should be ashamed of what brings you pleasure. If anything, it exposes their own fears.

#9 There is nothing wrong with you. I want to really emphasize this: there is nothing wrong with you if you’re a cuck. People are trying to use that term in a negative way, but you cannot let them persuade you to see yourself as someone who’s weak and insecure. You know what you sexually prefer and what brings you pleasure. [Read: A couple’s guide to swapping partners with another couple]

#10 Cucks can be anyone. Many people assume that cucks are liberal white men, but that’s not the case. Anyone can be a cuck, regardless of race, religion, or political views. Your sexual preferences should not be politicized. Though we often see sexual preferences being tied to race or religion, it shouldn’t be.

#11 Get over the idea of ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ males. Listen, they don’t exist. And you trying to become an alpha male is stupid. You are who you are. There’s no evidence of ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ males, contrary to popular belief. Just because you’re not aggressive doesn’t mean you’re not man enough. Just focus on being who you are and staying true to yourself.

[Read: Cuckold humiliation – How to step into this world and enjoy the game]

Now you know everything there is to be a beta cuck. Listen, whether it’s something you’re into or not, it’s your own sexual preferences. If it makes you and your partner feel good, then it’s okay.

The post The Beta Cuck: The Real Meaning & What It Means to Be a Sexual Cuck is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment & Stop Being Power-Played

In a relationship fueled with games, learning how to respond to the silent treatment coming your way will give you back your power.

The silent treatment in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse. It’s that simple. It’s designed to infuriate you, create panic and worry, make you question everything you said before the episode happened. Designed to rob you of control and self-esteem, you apologize for something you never did. But learning how to respond to the silent treatment will help you take back your power.

From a personal point of view, there is nothing more childish or annoying than someone who refuses to speak to you, simply ignoring you out of a power play.

It’s designed to get you to keep talking, literally begging them to say something. In the end, you want to scream  “say something!” All you get is a wry smile. [Read: Don’t overlook these important signs of emotional abuse]

Power play gone wrong

If your partner is a regular mute when things don’t go their way, turn the tables and learn how to deal with it. If that doesn’t work, wave your hand and walk away. Childish power play has no place in an equal and loving relationship. So, learn how to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way.

I speak from experience when I talk about this because I was once with a partner who loved to go silent when he didn’t get what he wanted. One particular time he simply didn’t like the fact that I went out with my friends. I texted him while I was out, just a regular ‘miss you,’ nice kind of text. It was met with silence. I text again, ‘what you up to.’ No reply.

It might sound trivial, but it ruined my night. I’m ashamed to say that I ended up going home early. Of course, that’s what he wanted.

Can you see how the silent treatment can be a tactic to regain power and punish someone unfairly? It’s a narcissistic trait, a form of manipulation. You should not have to put up with. [Read: How to spot manipulative people and stop playing the victim]

Is the silent treatment always manipulative?

Of course, we all give the silent treatment in a non-serious kind of way sometimes. For instance, you might have a small argument about the tiniest of things. Instead of listening to what your partner has to say, you might simply sit there and ignore them for a few minutes.

This isn’t the type of silent treatment I’m talking about. I’m talking about a tactic designed to punish and assert control, not something we all do when we simply want to be a little childish for a few minutes. [Read: The right and mature way to give someone the silent treatment]

How to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way

Want to know how to respond to the silent treatment? Face it head on. Do not let it make you reconsider your actions or your words. Remember, this is a tactic designed to manipulate. By giving in to it, you allow your partner to use it against you time and time again. Believe me, they will do this if you let them.

Firstly, try not to let the silent treatment bother you. It’s hard, I know. Realize what it is. Your partner probably isn’t going quiet because there is something wrong, their phone has broken, or they’ve lost their voice. They’re on mute because they’re trying to control your actions and make you apologize or not do something.

If this is the first time your partner has gone quiet in this way, give them the benefit of the doubt and explore the reasons why. Ask them what is wrong, but firmly explain that you’re carrying on with whatever it is you said you were doing which caused them to go quiet. [Read: 23 signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]

Approach them with calmness and kindness; smile, say ‘hey, what’s wrong?’, and when they don’t respond, reply with ‘well, when you’re ready to talk you know I’m here to listen.’ Then go about your business. It’s a powerful tactic, and one which is far healthier than the one they’re trying to push onto you!

In addition, try and pretend that their actions aren’t really bothering you, even though deep down you’re in a state of turmoil. Don’t let this show, be strong and keep it inside, and then when you’re outside, scream, shout, do whatever you need to do in order to get it out!

Keeping this frustration inside for too long will only mean you explode at some point verbally, and probably start an argument. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

Learn the signs in your relationship

From my experiences, I know now that when my ex was trying to punish me with the silence for going out with my friends, learning how to respond to the silent treatment in that case should have been one text saying ‘miss you, hope you have a great evening.’ Then to put my phone in my bag and enjoy my night.

I should not have sent that second text, and I certainly should not have gone home early and allowed the whole experience to ruin my time with my friends. Learn from my mistakes!

Make sure you set future boundaries

If this has happened more than once, make sure that you set clear boundaries and explain them to your partner. This is a show of strength, not defiance. It gives you back the power in the situation. If this type of treatment continues, setting boundaries will give you clear reason to end the relationship, if they aren’t respected.

It will be hard to walk away. Remember, dealing with someone who goes silent on you to control or punish you, isn’t something you deserve. A good example of setting a clear boundary is to sit your partner down and calmly explain that you aren’t going to be in a relationship with a partner who simply goes silent to manipulate the outcome of a situation. Explain that if it continues, it’s a deal breaker for you and you’ll walk away.

It’s likely that your partner will be a little shocked. They might even ask you what you’re talking about, but be strong. You’re the one in the right here. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship for a healthy love]

Taking care of number one

You need to look after number one. It’s very easy to end up going along with what your partner wants for an easy life, and because you want them to show you love and not anger. It is a huge mistake, because you lose yourself in the middle of it all.

Instead, focus on yourself. Do the things you enjoy. Spend time with friends, exercise, get plenty of fresh air, enjoy nature, read books, watch movies, eat healthy foods, and give yourself the inner strength to deal with, and possibly walk away, from a manipulative partner.

Surround yourself with positive influences, so maybe try positive affirmations, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and be around people who lift you up, and not those who drag you down on a regular basis.

[Read: How to surround yourself with positive people]

Learning how to respond to silent treatment in the best way possible is all about standing firm and holding your ground. At the end of the day, if this is a continual cycle, it’s better to wave goodbye to the relationship.

The post How to Respond to the Silent Treatment & Stop Being Power-Played is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

45 Best Happy Birthday Dog Wishes With Images

Happy Birthday Dog Happy birthday my dear pet dog! You have been the best companion that I have, and I really dread the day that you’ll have to leave one…

The post 45 Best Happy Birthday Dog Wishes With Images appeared first on Events Greetings.

Where to Go on a First Date: The 17 Best & Worst Dating Spots Ever

First dates are hard enough. Make the entire process easier with this guide on where to go on a first date for the best vibe.

First dates are almost always awkward. But with the best suggestions for where to go on a first date, you can create awesome vibes, and create a memorable time with your date.

The awkward first date

There is the introduction where you don’t know if you should hug or shake hands or kiss on the cheek. So, you go in for a hug but start shaking their whole body. And you end up with a red shameful face of embarrassment for the rest of the night.

If you’re meeting online, you might be worried that you won’t remember what they look like or that they might look nothing like their photo.

You could get a bad reaction to food if you try a new restaurant and can’t tell someone you just met you’re having diarrhea.

There is also the dreaded awkward silence that it seems like some first dates of made of.

But, your first date does not have to be this horrible or even slightly awkward. If you pick the right location for a first date, it can expunge all of this from the first date itinerary. [Read: The first date rules everyone should follow for a good first date]

Where to go on a first date with a stranger

Before I give you a straight forward list of where to go on a first date and where not to, these are some general pointers on first dates.

If you are going on a first date with a coworker or friend, you don’t have to have the back-ups you will want when you are meeting someone online or with a blind date.

When it is your first time meeting, always do so in public. Never let them pick you up at your house or your job. If things go south you don’t want them having that much information about your whereabouts. [Read: Texting before the first date – A guide to do it right]

Choose a shorter date. Some people think short dates don’t offer enough time to get to know each other. But I have never needed more than an hour to know if I wanted to see someone again. Go for coffee or drinks rather than dinner and a movie on a first date.

Go somewhere you feel comfortable. This doesn’t have to be your neighborhood bar or favorite restaurant. It can be a chain restaurant you’re familiar with. A first date with a stranger brings up enough anxiety, so a location that calms you will help. [Read: How long should a first date last? A guide to perfect timings]

Where not to go on a first date

I know you came here for first date ideas. Before I recommend where to go on a first date, steer clear from a few places that are a recipe for disaster on a first date.

#1 The movies. I feel like you should already know this one. Unless your first date is happening while in middle school, the movies are a terrible place for a first date. You learn next to nothing about your date. There is no time to talk. And you get greasy buttery fingers. [Read: What you should and shouldn’t do when you have to cut a date short]

#2 A concert. This is the same idea as the movies. It can be even worse since watching people play music doesn’t always capture your attention as much as a movie. Screaming to each other over speakers of a band you may not even like will not result in a second date.

#3 Your house. Unless your date is a hook-up and nothing more, inviting your date to your house on night one is a major no-no. This gives the wrong idea on so many levels. It adds the assumption that something physical will happen.

Even if you made dinner from scratch, inviting someone you barely know in your home can get weird or dangerous. [Read: 14 signs you’re unintentionally ruining your first date]

#4 Hiking. You can go for a walk in a major park, but hiking through the woods on a first date seems a bit too risky if you ask me. Sure, maybe I watch too much Dateline. But it is better to be safe than sorry.

If you want to do something healthy and active on a first date, there are plenty more public options.

#5 A party. This may sound like an ideal first date, but unless you share a group of friends, it will just be wildly uncomfortable for one of you. Chances are you will know everyone, and they will know no one.

A party is for mingling, but if you are just getting to know each other, one of you will be left in the corner nibbling pretzels while the other makes the rounds. [Read: 18 things you HAVE to avoid doing on a first date]

Where to go on a first date

I’m sure you can see how the previous ideas were not so great for a first date, but have no fear, I have plenty of ideas for where to go on a first date for the best vibes.

#1 Coffee or drinks. This is the least creative or original idea, but if you aren’t one to put effort into a first date without knowing how interested you are, it is ideal. There is a reason going for coffee has been the number one date for so many years *according to me*.

It is simple, and it is quaint. You get to actually talk and you only have to stay for one coffee if you’re not feeling it. But, if all is going well you can get a croissant and keep chatting. [Read: The top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow and impress any date]

#2 Volunteer. Volunteering your time to a good cause is a great way to connect on a first date. You can go to a soup kitchen, animal shelter, or even pick up trash at the park or beach.

This lets you get to know each other while giving back.

#3 Explore. Going for a walk is a lot more than it sounds. You can explore a new neighborhood or another area of yours. You can do some window shopping, people watching, or chow down on some handheld foods.

#4 A book store or record shop. Sharing your music or book preferences on a first date can show you how compatible you are. You can introduce each other to some of your favorites and discover something new.

#5 The mall. There is a reason middle school dates have a warm place in our hearts. Heading to the mall with $20 to buy a soft pretzel and a fancy Starbucks drink while you walk around without buying anything is actually really fun. 

#6 An amusement park. Face your fears by heading to an amusement park. You get to talk a ton while waiting in line. Bonus! The adrenaline from the rides can boost your connection. [Read: 20 fun and unconventional date ideas that’ll impress your date]

#8 An arcade. If you are not one for rides but want some old-fashioned fun with someone new, head to an arcade. Play some games, win some prizes, and see who the master of skee ball is.

#9 A museum. Art may not be your thing, but a history museum could offer the perfect first date vibes. You can even head to a wax museum or a science museum to see some fun experiments. Whoever said you can’t learn something on a date?

#10 An exercise class. If you are both into fitness, heading to the gym or a cycling class could be perfect for you. Releasing endorphins will put you in a better mood and headspace for the rest of the day. And if Zumba or spin classes aren’t your things, yoga is a much more low-key way to get your sweat on with a new partner.

#11 Rock climbing. Indoor rock climbing is a wonderful first date idea. You get some exercise, try something new, and may even help each other face some fears along the way. That is a sure-fire way to create a strong bond. [Read: These fun first date ideas will leave them wanting more]

#12 A game. Depending on the season: a baseball, football, or basketball game is a wonderful place for a first date. You always have a conversation buffer with the happenings of the game, but you can also get some food and talk about anything else as well.

[Read: The 15 signs that will tell you your first date went well]

When you are considering where to go on a first date for the best outcome, always choose somewhere in public. It gives you time to bond and a chance to bounce if need be. 

The post Where to Go on a First Date: The 17 Best & Worst Dating Spots Ever is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Handle Being Ghosted by a Friend Like a Mature Grown-Up

Maybe there was someone you liked romantically who’s ghosted you. But being ghosted by a friend also is not an easy situation to go through.

There are times when friends go their separate ways with anger or animosity between them. Things happen, and people’s lives go their own ways. But this is entirely different than being ghosted by a friend.

Have you been ghosted by someone you like? If so, though it hurts, you moved on. But romantic relationships are different from long-term friendships. Your friends should carry on through your life, no matter who you’re in a romantic relationship with. But no one really talks about the importance of friendships. And when a friend decides to cut you out of their life, it’s confusing and hurtful. [Read: Why being ghosted hurts so much and what you need to do about it]

How to handle being ghosted by a friend

I’m guilty of ghosting a friend. I was fifteen and didn’t know how to handle the relationship. We were really good friends, but I felt suffocated. I didn’t know what to do, so I went radio silent. Now, this was before I had a cellphone of my own, and texting wasn’t a thing. It was a horrible decision on my part, one that I regret making.

Years later, I apologized to her, but after experiencing the feeling of being ghosted myself, I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling at the time. If your friend is ghosting you, it’s not an easy situation to handle. But, there are some things you can do to help you move through this experience and come out with your dignity intact.

You can and will get through being ghosted by a friend.

#1 Do not lash out. When you’re being ghosted by a friend, naturally, you feel immediate anger and pain. This is someone you care for deeply. Now, they treat you like you’re nothing. But, this is not the time to become defensive and make on-the-spot decisions. I know you’re hurt, but take a deep breath and think about the next step you’re going to take. [Read: How to deal with the platonic heartbreak that is losing a friend]

#2 Start a conversation. When someone ghosts you, the question you want answered is why. And it makes complete sense. If you want to know what’s going on, reach out and ask them without anger.

Call or text them saying, “I haven’t heard from you lately, I would like to know if it’s because of something I said or did. I want you to be able to tell me if there’s something wrong. If we’re just in different phases of life, that’s okay, I completely understand.”

This will give them the chance to open up to you if they choose to.

#3 Don’t expect an answer. You may not get the answer you’re looking for. You may not even get an answer. When it comes to ghosting, if they choose to simply ignore you rather than talk to you about what’s going on, there’s a chance they won’t respond when you reach out. This is something you should expect. They may reach out weeks or months from now, but won’t tell you what’s going on right now. [Read: Are you losing a friend or just drifting away?]

#4 Let yourself grieve. Losing a friendship is even worse than ending a romantic relationship. It’s a breakup you really never thought would happen. Naturally, losing your friend will bring up a lot of emotions. Give yourself space to process them.

Allow yourself the time to grieve over the loss of your friendship. But while doing so, focus on healthy ways to grieve, rather than to numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, or simply doing nothing.

#5 Find closure. This is easier said than done, but with time, accept what happened and find closure in your life. Your relationship didn’t end because of you. It ended because of their actions. Of course, in these situations, you think about the things you did wrong, but you won’t get your answer. Stop torturing yourself and let go of the friendship. This will take weeks, months, maybe even years, before you truly find closure. [Read: 15 signs a friend is using you and draining your happiness away]

#6 Keep yourself occupied. Now, focus your attention and energy on things that bring you genuine happiness and connection. Spend more time with your other good friends or go out and meet new people. If you sit and dwell on this lost friendship, it will only hold you back. Maybe your friend will come around, maybe they won’t, but don’t wait for them. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – 3 stages to explain why some people do this]

#7 Unfollow them on social media. You may keep them on your social media for whatever reason, but in the beginning, hide or delete their accounts from your social media. It’s a hard move to make, but act like this is a breakup. You can’t move on if you’re constantly seeing what they’re doing and who they’re hanging out with. [Read: How to do a social media detox and wean yourself off it]

#8 Focus on acceptance. How they ended the friendship wasn’t right, but it ended for the right reasons. If you’re not getting back what you give in a friendship, then it’s a one-sided relationship. If they can ghost you instead of telling you how they feel, then the relationship has already come to an end.

Yes, process your emotions and grieve over your loss, but in the end, accept what happened. In a couple of months or years, looking back at the situation, you’ll see the red flags and learn valuable lessons from the relationship.

#9 Your friend may return. Your friend may return back into your life and apologize for what happened. But, to be honest, by the time that happens, you’ll have moved on and won’t be in the same place as you once were. Of course, you can be friends with them again, but it won’t be the same because they betrayed your trust. Once trust is broken, the relationship dies. [Read: How to recognize one-sided friendships and cut them loose]

#10 Give yourself time. Remember, treat this as a breakup. You just lost someone who was close to you. You’re not going to feel better overnight. It’ll take weeks, even months for you to fully heal. Don’t rush the process. Instead, give yourself the time you need. Though it sounds cliche, time really does heal everything. [Read: 15 guidelines you need to follow if you want to forgive and forget]

#11 Understand they don’t deserve you. Let’s be honest. If your friend is capable of dumping you like that, then the relationship was never genuine and they were only using you. For you, the friendship was real, but for them, they were not fully invested. If they were, they would never treat someone they love like this. In other words, this person doesn’t deserve you.

[Read: How to find healing after you’ve been ghosted by a best friend]

Being ghosted by a friend is a worse feeling than being ghosted by someone you like. If you’ve been ghosted, I hope these tips will help you overcome it.

The post How to Handle Being Ghosted by a Friend Like a Mature Grown-Up is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Recognize a Soul Connection When They Walk Into Your Life

Have you ever felt like someone was simply meant to be in your life? If so, you have experienced the wonder of a soul connection. 

Whether you believe in destiny, fate, and karma *or not*, you must admit that sometimes it’s completely possible to have a sense that someone was meant to walk into your life. Everything about them seems in sync with you and what you need at that current time. You feel a soul connection and pulled towards them with no real explanation of why.

Have you ever experienced a soul connection?

Is a soul connection only romantic?

Now, many people wrongly assume that a soul connection can only be forged between two people romantically. That is false. Your soul can be connected to someone in various types of relationships. It could be a mentor, friend, teacher, family member, even a neighbor.

They don’t have to be someone you’re destined to fall in love with and learn deep lessons from. It can be a person in your life from whom you learn something about yourself, life, and how to treat others.

To the skeptics out there

Of course, many people remain skeptical about the phenomenon of a soul connection. That’s fine, you can be skeptical, or you can believe in it. It’s your own truth. However, there are many who believe that certain people are destined to cross your path.

If you want to enhance your life’s experiences, be more mindful of meeting people who may have a soul connection with you. Of course, if they’re meant to be in your life, they will find a way to get into it anyway. By seeking out these connections more actively, you may help things along.

[Read: Are soulmates real? Have you found the one who completes you?]

How to find and recognize a soul connection in your life

While karmic relationships are often sent your way to help you learn something, e.g. often a very hard lessons which may cause you to feel some element of pain, a soul connection is something altogether gentler and more meaningful. Karmic relationships often end in the butting of heads, before that enlightened lesson is learned. [Read: All the signs you’re stuck in a messy karmic relationship]

A soul connection helps you to grow and realize life lessons in a more supported way. You could even call them your kindred spirit.

#1 Someone with a soul connection will help you change and grow. The more time you spend around someone who you share this connection, the more you’ll come to realize that you’re forever changed in some way, either big or small. You will view something differently, or you’ll feel differently about something important in your life. This happens because of the energy which moves between you and the person you have the connection with, helping you both to learn and grow.

It could be as simple as meeting someone on the bus and they give you a piece of advice that really changes your overall view of life. Maybe you meet someone during a conference at work. They share tidbits of knowledge which changes your career outlook. It can be anything, not just romantic.

But whatever they do for you, it changes you in some way forever. [Read: How to be a better person and evolve everyday]

#2 You will become more self-aware. When you have a soul connection with another person, it helps you to look within. As a result, you notice the things about yourself that you either love or you want to change. They often mirror back your own personality traits and qualities, which forces you to notice them more.

This doesn’t mean they’re a carbon copy of you, but it means they have certain traits which you also have. By noticing them, you can either continue to develop them in a positive way, or you will become more aware and work to change negative aspects of yourself. [Read: How to stop ruminating on the past and start living your future]

#3 There is a sense of connection that you really can’t explain. Perhaps the biggest sign that you’ve met someone with whom you share a soul connection is that you just feel drawn to them. You’re connected in a way which you really can’t put into words. When they’re around you, you feel energized. When they’re away from you, they’re on your mind.

This feeling is because of the energetic connection you have. Many people believe soul connections are predetermined on the cosmic plane. You may share a link that is telepathic.

So, when they’re not physically near them, you’re still aware of them on a higher plane. Of course, this helps you to continue learning and growing from them. They’re never really that far away from you. [Read: 15 intense signs of chemistry that reveal an instant connection]

#4 They may leave your life eventually, but they will leave a mark. A soul connection isn’t always meant to stick around forever. You might meet someone whom you feel this way, and they’ll be in your life for a few months or years. Then, they go on their own way. However, they will leave a mark on you. You’ll never forget them completely.

The soul connection you both share will still exist despite the separation, even if you never speak to one another again. In addition, the lessons learned and the growth you achieved will remain. [Read: Letting go of someone you love without all the bitterness]

#5 There are no rules to soul connections. The person with whom you have a soul connection may be older than you, from another country, another race, another religion, another type of job completely. There are no rules. This person is someone you are drawn to on a higher level. Someone who you can learn from.

If there are differences between you, it is because you’re supposed to learn from them and be aware of more than you are now. Be open to change and learning to benefit from it.

Many people remain on the fence about soul connections and anything connected to karma. While many agree it’s possible, some prefer solid proof. But, something like a soul connection cannot be proven by science. It can’t be seen with the eyes. It’s only something you can feel. When you feel something, you can’t record it or measure it.

For that reason, if you feel this way about someone, be it in a romantic situation, a friendship, work colleague, or anyone else you come across in your life, be open to the possibility that they may just be someone you’re meant to learn from and grow with. Of course, it might also be that you’re supposed to help them learn something in return.

That doesn’t mean you should go around assuming that every person you feel a slight pull towards is someone who was meant to cross your path. It does mean being open to anything you can learn from another person.

By being open, various experiences that you may never have had otherwise will come. Many doors are unlocked in your life. You simply need to know which doors to open and leave. A soul connection may help you do that.

[Read: What are karmic connections really and how to recognize them instantly]

A soul connection is difficult to explain. Simply because the only way to really experience the strength of that pull is to experience it for yourself. But if they’re in your life, they’re meant to be!

The post How to Recognize a Soul Connection When They Walk Into Your Life is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Get a Two-Girl Kiss: 4 Easy Steps

When you see a guy in a two-girl kiss, do you wish it was you between those lips? Well, it’s not so hard to pull off with this three-step strategy.

Kissing a girl is good. Kissing two girls at the same time? Double good.

For those who have trouble kissing even one girl, this might sound like an unrealistic challenge. And it might be.

But it’s a lot easier than you think.

Center to our discussion today is something called preselection. You’ve heard of being preapproved for a credit card, right? The credit card company uses math to find people with decent enough credit scores and then offers these people a new credit card. Those people are preapproved based on math. Well, preselection works like that, but with girls preapproving you for kisses (and also sex and relationships).

Contents

I. Step 1: Get One Kiss from One Girl

II. Step 2: Get the Second Girl

III. Step 3: Group Kiss

IV. Good Job, Now Turn It into a Threesome!

V. An Example of How I've Pulled This Off

Now, in contrast to credit card companies, there isn’t much research necessary for a girl to read your value. If a girl sees you with another girl, especially a pretty or even beautiful girl, her body will do all the calculations necessary and immediately get a little wet for you.

You see, a girl needs to like something about you before even flirting with you (much less offering up her lips or vagina). But if she doesn't know you, she needs to employ other measures, such as testing you, to see if you are someone she ought to chase: your fashion, your face, your “screw everything” attitude. Something.

And this can take time. She may be attracted when you approach her, but she needs to see how you act in the next few minutes. Are you the real deal? Then, she goes on a date with you and maybe starts to get really wet if you play it well.

So, what if a girl sees you with a girl as hot as her or hotter?

Instant wetness. But now, instead of an initial attraction only, it’s initial attraction AND security in her instincts. There you are, kissing that gorgeous girl. It’s all the proof she needs that you're the real deal.

How to Let Go of Resentment, Stop Feeding the Hate and Start Living

If something isn’t making you feel good, let it go. Learning how to let go of resentment isn’t as easy as it sounds. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

I remember when a friend betrayed me for the first time. She was my best friend and neighbor. She slept with my very first boyfriend while I was dating him. I wasn’t angry that he cheated on me. I let those feelings go pretty quickly because I wasn’t in love with him. But I was very angry with her, and I didn’t know how to let go of resentment for her betrayal.

The worst part was that they dated after I broke up with him. I never felt betrayal like that before. I didn’t know what to do, but I did know I despised her. And I couldn’t even hear her name, let alone be within eyesight of her.

During their relationship, I was incredibly angry. But I played the “I don’t care” card and let the anger sit in me, slowly building up.

[Read: How to deal with the pain when someone hurts you]

How to let go of resentment and start living

I needed to let go of the resentment I had for her. Not because of her, but because of me. I was eating myself from the inside out. Everyone could see it. She didn’t care. She wasn’t upset, it was just me who was hurting.

It took me several months to move on from the pain and resentment I felt. I was deeply hurt and had problems trusting my closest friends and family. But I knew if I let this continue and stay unchallenged, it would have drastic consequences for my own happiness and self-love.

If you need to learn how let go of resentment and struggle to do it—I understand. It’s not easy at all, but do this for yourself, not for anyone else. It’s time you moved forward.

#1 Where’s the anger coming from? What happened that made you feel resentment towards another person? Before taking any further steps, identify exactly what they did that hurt you. If you find any other underlying emotions, look at the causes of those as well. Was it a single event or a gradual build-up of events?[Read: How to release anger and find the positives in life instead]

#2 Separate the person from the situation. When someone we love hurts us, it’s hard to separate them from the situation. But, by removing them, you can look at what happened with different eyes. It’ll help you answer the question of why they did what they did. Bringing you closure, but also allowing you to understand their behavior.

#3 Take a time out. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything, take a time out. If you want to know how to let go of resentment, find a space where you can lay down and cool off. This doesn’t need to be on your mind all of the time. Sometimes a healthy distraction can help you calm down and look at things from a different perspective. [Read: 17 ways to focus on yourself and relax more]

#4 Avoid the person who caused you pain. Until you’re ready to forgive them, avoid seeing them right away. You need time to reflect and calm down. If you see them too soon, it could end up in an explosive argument, and that’ll only fuel the anger and pain inside of you. You’ll know when you’re ready. 

#5 Practice expressing your anger in different ways. If you want to learn how to let go of resentment and release it, don’t stick to one way of expressing yourself. Try various ways of self-expression. Write your feelings down, work out, talk about it with a therapist or friend, try yoga. Do various activities to help you let go of your negative feelings.

#6 Did you contribute to the situation? I’m not saying you did anything; I’m not trying to blame you. But self-awareness is crucial if you want to move forward and let go of resentment. Think about your role in this, and see if you played a part in why they may have acted in a specific way. [Read: 15 signs of a bad friend to always be on the lookout for]

#7 Learn relaxation and self-calming strategies. When something causes you pain, you experience a wide range of emotions. Some days you’re calm, other days you’re angry and disappointed. But by practicing relaxation and self-calming techniques, you can help calm yourself down. These techniques include yoga, meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness. 

#8 Talk to them *if you can*. If you’re able to sit down and talk with them about what happened, you may be able to have some questions answered and find closure. But, only do this if you feel emotionally calm enough to do it. You don’t need it to end up in a yelling match. If you’re not ready or you’re not able to physically see them, write your feelings and emotions down in a journal.

#9 Avoid directing your anger at others. When we’re angry, it’s easy to place our negative emotions and feelings on other people. Usually, we pick people who aren’t even involved in the situation itself. We’re angry, and whoever we see first, boom, they’re the first ones we target. But you don’t need to transfer this energy to other people; that’s not fair to them.

#10 Practice forgiveness. Ugh, it was so difficult to forgive my best friend after she slept and then dated my boyfriend. I didn’t want to forgive her; I wanted her to suffer. But in the end, I was the only one who was suffering.

Look at why they did what they did, and find the reasoning behind their actions. You’re not going to forgive them overnight. It’ll take time, but it’s worth it. [Read: How to forgive someone and unburden your heart]

#11 Treat the person you’re angry at with compassion. This is definitely going to be hard, but it’s crucial that you treat the person you’re angry with empathy and compassion. If not, you’ll never be able to move on and learn how to let go of resentment. When you start to act with compassion and kindness, you’ll see them change their behavior with you as well. [Read: How to be positive and find the silver lining]

#12 Let go of any grudges. You may think holding onto grudges is a good idea, but it’s not. If anything, it does more harm to you than to them. Sure, you make them feel shitty from time to time, but you’re the one harboring all these negative emotions inside of you every day. Don’t spend your energy waiting for the chance to make them suffer.

#13 Exercise. Listen, letting go of resentment isn’t about getting a six-pack. But exercise does help you reduce anger and stress. Whether it’s swimming, walking, or kickboxing, release your emotions and sweat out the toxins you’ve built in your body. You’ll automatically feel better… and sweaty.

#14 Take the situation as a learning lesson. You cannot control other people’s actions, but you can control what you take from a situation. Yes, you were hurt by someone, but that doesn’t mean your life is over. Take the situation as a learning lesson and move forward. Don’t let it hold you back. [Read: How to be a happier person means making these joy-filled changes]

#15 Always challenge resentment. When you’re feeling any type of resentment, you need to challenge it. Of course, in the beginning, give yourself some time to process what happened, but don’t let anger sit inside of you. It’ll eat you up and slowly destroy you.

[Read: How to stop hating the person who hurt you]

If it’s not making you feel good, then you need to let it go. Hopefully, these tips will help you learn how let go of resentment and live your best life.

The post How to Let Go of Resentment, Stop Feeding the Hate and Start Living is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Job Interview Thank You Messages and Email Examples

A job interview is a great process of presenting yourself but it doesn’t end on that. You can add some... More

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What to Do When His Best Friend Is a Girl: Do You Feel Insecure?

Even with trust and honesty, feeling unsure about what to do when his best friend is a girl can be worrisome and make you feel insecure.

Having a boyfriend is great. Having a boyfriend whose best friend is a girl can also be great. But wondering what to do when his best friend is a girl… is also normal.

Whether you have been cheated on in the past and carry trust issues with you, or not, we all get jealous once in a while.

It’s normal to have questions or even doubt when your beau is spending so much time with another girl. Before you go overanalyzing every moment between them, find out if your concerns are based in reality. [Read: How to learn to let go of your relationship insecurity and learn to love more]

Is it a problem that his best friend is a girl?

When your boyfriend’s best friend is a girl, your first feeling may be jealousy. But before you jump to conclusions, consider if this is really a bad thing or if you’re just overreacting.

Reading too far into this type of situation, especially when your distrust is unfounded can negatively impact your relationship. It prevents you from trusting him, having a friendship with her, and can even drive you crazy or lead to a breakup if you let it.

Wondering what to do when his best friend is a girl could actually be meaningless. There may be nothing to do. You don’t need to end their friendship or drive a wedge between them.

You may just need to see the situation from another perspective. [Read: Does your boyfriend have a very flirty girl best friend? Read this now!]

What to do when his best friend is a girl

Before accusing anyone of anything or giving your boyfriend an ultimatum to choose between you and her, take these steps to prevent some serious jealously induced problems…

#1 Get an outsider’s opinion. Ask a mutual friend that you trust to give you their point of view. Do they see a spark?

Being in a relationship with him clouds your judgment of her. There could be zero reason to think anything suspicious is going on, but your desire to maintain your relationship is creating problems that don’t exist. Ask someone you trust what they think. [Read: How to show respect and better love in your relationship]

#2 Do they have a romantic history? If so, how long ago did it end? Have either one of them given you a real reason to question their loyalty?

Did they break up 10 years ago? Did they have one drunken night together? Even if they did, is there any actual reason to suspect they aren’t being forthcoming with you?

#3 Would you be friends with her in another situation? I know it can be difficult to remove yourself from the situation you’re in, but try. Do you get along with her? If you weren’t worried about something happening, would you be friends?

There is a reason why your guy is close with her. If you look for those things, which probably include loyalty and kindness, you may realize you were just worrying for nothing.

#4 Is he honest with you about her? Is there an actual reason for you to be worried? Has he lied to you about her before? Did you find out they had a romantic history after he told you they didn’t?

If he has been nothing but honest with you about their friendship and history, you may not have any reason to doubt him. [Read: How to live your best love life with healthy relationship boundaries]

#5 Does he share your intimate details with her? This could be something that makes you uncomfortable. If they have been best friends for a long time, it may come naturally to him to ask her for advice on your relationship.

It may have been okay before a first date, but if she has mentioned that she gave him the idea for your birthday gift or advice on how to handle a fight, you may want to talk to him.

Whether you are just a private person or feel uncomfortable knowing that she knows so much about you, that can make you uneasy. Do try to think of it from his perspective. You have friends you go to with personal details and this is to whom he goes.

Just because she is a girl, it can feel like a competition. Really he just wants to make sure you’re happy. Think about why this makes you uncomfortable. Do you want to ask him to hold back with her or do you need to reconsider your discomfort? [Read: What do guys think of their female friends? 15 secrets revealed]

#6 Do you all hang out together? If he invites you to hang out with her, that is a great sign. He wants her to get to know you and vice versa. He isn’t hiding her from you nor you from her.

If he only hangs out with her alone in private that could be worrisome, but if he wants all three of you to be friends that could be a great thing. You would have someone to go to for gift ideas and advice on him as well.

#7 Have you shared your worries? Bottling this jealousy up is not a good idea. If it was fleeting and you let it go on your own that is great, but if it has been bothering you for a while now, let him know how you feel.

Don’t tell him he needs to stop seeing her. Just let him know how you feel about it especially if you can’t give a logical reason for your unease. You may just need his reassurance to relax.

Based on the answers to these questions you may have come to the conclusion that your jealousy wasn’t exactly rational.

Once you make peace with this friendship not only will you feel at ease, but you’ll likely come to realize that having a boyfriend that can maintain platonic relationships with females is an advantage.

He may be more in tune with his feelings, be more mature, and even be more prone to having important discussions about your relationship. Not to mention, if they get along so well it’s almost guaranteed you two will too. There’s another girlfriend to split the bill at brunch with. [Read: 11 strategies to stop overanalyzing and find more peace]

Should you be worried his best friend is a girl?

If your concerns haven’t faded after answering these questions, its time for a straight-forward yet delicate conversation with your boyfriend.

Don’t accuse them of anything, just calmly voice your concerns. Tell him you want to trust him completely but them spending so much time together makes you feel uneasy. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably haven’t noticed yet]

Don’t ask him to cut back on their friendship, but ask him to be honest with you about their past and if they’ve ever had feelings for each other so that he can help to put your mind at ease. Even tell him you’d like to get to know her better. If the three of you spend some time together, you’ll likely see that there is nothing to worry about.

If after all of this, you still feel uncomfortable with their friendship, and there’s no rational reason to be, this could be a sign of a bigger problem. It may be time for you to consider that you could have some insecurities and trust issues of your own to address.

[Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

Hopefully, this gave you some useful advice on what to do when his best friend is a girl. Happy trusting!

The post What to Do When His Best Friend Is a Girl: Do You Feel Insecure? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.