The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

Contents

I. What Is the Liminoid?

II. Using the Concept of Liminoid

III. Why Create a Liminoid Space?

IV. Building a Liminoid Space

V. Recap

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

• Sexual tension
• Intrigue
• Mixed signals

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

How to Deal with the Hurt When Your Ex Moved On Quickly

A breakup is hard enough to deal with, but if your ex moved on quickly it feels like a slap in the face. How do you handle the hurt?

When relationships end, we mourn. It is a loss. We grieve that loss. And if we see our ex moved on quickly, it hurts. It isn’t that we necessarily want them to suffer or hurt as much as we do, but knowing that they haven’t moved on yet lets us know that somehow we aren’t alone in all of this.

When you know your ex is still struggling, it reassures you that your relationship mattered to them too. But, when your ex moved on quickly, it can double the pain for you. It can feel like there is something wrong with you or that your relationship didn’t mean as much to them.

So, how do you deal with the fact that your ex moved on quickly?

[Read: What are the signs your ex has moved on?]

Are you sure your ex moved on quickly?

When you go through a breakup, your mind goes over everything. Where did things go wrong? You were so happy. What happened? Are they thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them?

When you are going through a loss like that, you can overanalyze everything. Maybe you think your ex moved on because they aren’t reaching out to you or responding to your texts.

But, everyone deals with a break differently. You may want to talk to them and get closure, while they need to shut down communication and have space to move on. [Read: Is my ex thinking about me? The guide to pick all the right signs]

Maybe they posted a photo on Instagram out at a bar, so you assume they are doing okay when their friends may have had to drag them there. You may have even heard through the grapevine that they hooked up with someone.

But, are you really just overthinking things? I’ve been there.

You’re crying in bed and watching Bridget Jones’s Diary and pigging out on ice cream while scrolling through your feed only to see your ex out with people you don’t recognize. It can feel like a slap in the face.

You assume they just let go of your relationship, and bury yourself deeper into mourning.

[Read: 30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]

The thing is you are letting your feelings blur reality. Just because you hear a rumor or see a photo doesn’t mean you know what is actually going on. Having a rebound, going out drinking, or blocking you from their phone may be their way of dealing with the breakup while yours is overthinking and wallowing in bed.

Unless you know for certain that your ex moved on quickly, there is no need to fret over it. This is your time to move on without dealing with what they’re doing. [Read: 16 signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking about you]

How to deal when your ex moved on quickly

So, you know for sure that your ex moved on quickly and having to face that is almost like going through the breakup all over again.

I know the feeling, but there are ways to handle it that are actually healthy, productive, and don’t make you want to dive into an Instagram stalking hole.

#1 Stay off social media. The worst thing you can do when an ex moved on quickly is to follow their adventures. Whether it is their Instagram or a mutual friend’s post where your ex is in the background talking to some blurry thing and you can’t tell if its a hot person or barstool, just look away.

I know it takes a lot of willpower to control the urge to spy on your ex. But there is nothing about this that will benefit you. You don’t need them to feel miserable for you to be better. You don’t need to know what they’re up to.

The healthier thing you can do is block or mute their online presence and even their phone number if necessary. [Read: These heart healing tricks will soothe you after a breakup]

#2 Realize everyone moves on at different paces. Just like everything in life, there isn’t a clear cut timeline. Not everyone has kids by 30 or is married by 25. Not everyone finishes college in four years or even goes to college. Why would a breakup be any different?

Some people can hide their emotions while others are more expressive. And some people can keep things in the past while others have regrets. You do not need to get over your breakup at the same pace as your ex did.

#3 Know it has nothing to do with you. Just because your ex moved on quickly doesn’t mean they didn’t have feelings for you. It doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy your relationship. It doesn’t mean they picked this new person over you.

When someone moves on from a relationship quickly, it is about their process, not about you. I know seeing your recent ex with someone new can feel like a punch to the gut. It can be embarrassing and lonely, but it really has nothing to do with you. [Read: Why your now-ex chose someone else over you]

#4 Stop comparing. Moving on from a relationship is not a competition. The person who moves on first isn’t the winner. There is no right or wrong way to move on.

Yes, maybe they moved on quickly, and you feel like you’re trailing behind struggling to get out of bed or delete your couple profile picture. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or wrong. [Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]

#5 Don’t hate on the person they’re with. One thing we do when we see our ex move on quickly is attack the person they are with now. I don’t mean physically attack, of course. We mock them with our friends. We judge them. And we send negative vibes to their new relationship.

Not only is that an ugly thing to do, it is unfair and only adds to your negative feelings. This person is innocent. They didn’t hurt you or steal your ex or take your last piece of gum. They are just entering a new relationship with someone that has a past with you.

You don’t need to pray that they’re happy and their relationship thrives, but sending them bad thoughts is only going to bring you down.

#6 You have control over how you react. Life isn’t about how you act but how you react. You have control over what you do. If you see your ex moved on quickly and is in a new relationship, you don’t need to get wasted and drunk text them how much you miss them and how their new partner is ugly or fake.

Don’t lash out. It isn’t healthy or productive. It won’t help you move on or prevent them from moving on. All it does is set you back. Just as bad, faking it. You don’t need to go out and post hot photos of yourself to make your ex think you are over them. It is petty and unnecessary. Actually focusing on moving on, not worrying about what they think will help you handle the whole situation more maturely. [Read: Still thinking of your ex or miss them often? Read this!]

#7 It’s okay to not be okay. There is no rush for you to move on. I know seeing your ex moved on quickly can put pressure on you to catch up, but it is perfectly alright to be upset. You can mourn and face this loss. You can struggle and be sad. It is okay to cry and vent to friends and miss them.

As long as you don’t let those feelings invade your life or control your actions, take as much time as you need to move on.

#8 Enjoy your time being single. Look at the positive aspects of being single. Think about all the things you have time for. Think about what you no longer have to deal with.

Being single isn’t a punishment or something to dread. It is something to celebrate and make the most of.

#9 Have a friend call you out. Venting to a friend about your breakup and the fact that your ex moved on quickly is healthy. But, don’t let it take over your friendship. Ask a friend you trust to call you out when you are getting away from yourself.

I’ve caught my friends and even myself just repeating myself about an ex. When you’re with a friend, enjoy your time not just complaining about your ex taking their new boo on vacation. Overdoing the venting will only occupy your mind even more with your ex and prevent you from moving forward. [Read: How to make it easier to let go of your ex]

#10 Focus on moving on yourself. Instead of worrying about what your ex is doing and how happy they seem, consider your future. You won’t be upset and sad and lonely forever. This time is only temporary.

If you focus on putting yourself back out there even in a subtle way, you can move on too.

[Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule works every single time]

Your ex moved on quickly, now what? Well, you can move on too!

The post How to Deal with the Hurt When Your Ex Moved On Quickly is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Stop Being a Side Chick: You Deserve to Be the Main Dish

Nothing feels worse than thinking you’re someone’s girlfriend and finding out you’ve been a side chick. Here’s how to stop being a side chick.

You may be someone’s side chick right now, but you can learn how to stop being a side chick. It’s time to break the pattern and be with someone who sees you as their partner, not a side chick. You can do better than being a side chick.

How to stop being a side chick

In my early twenties, I saw this one guy. We only went on one or two dates, so it was nothing serious. I wanted to see where it would go and if we had a connection. We would text a lot, and he would even phone me. Things looked like they were heading in the right direction. Then one day, he just stopped. And I couldn’t figure out why. What happened?

Well, I found out his girlfriend discovered he was chatting with another chick, and that chick was me. I was shocked. I didn’t even think for a minute that I was a side chick.

[Read: How to forgive yourself from cheating and stop beating yourself up]

The good thing is that I wasn’t emotionally invested in him and didn’t need much time to move on. If anything, I was really upset that I was being used by him and hurting another woman. He had told me he broke up with his ex a couple of months ago, but it turned out he had been thinking of breaking up with her for the past couple of months. Now, there’s a big difference between thinking and doing.

Anyways, I ended things and took extra precaution in making sure whoever I dated wasn’t going to make me a side chick. [Read: 14 signs you’re the side chick when you believe you’re his main girl]

#1 Is this what you want? There are some women out there who want to be a side chick. They enjoy the casualness of the relationship and the lack of pressure. I have my own opinion on this and don’t think highly of women who hurt other women for personal gain.

But then again, this is your choice. Decide the type of relationship you want and if being a side chick is your choice. If you’re tired of being a side chick, then you should change. [Read: 14 side chick rules to be a happy mistress minus the drama]

#2 Talk to him. Many women stay a side chick because they think one day he’ll make them the main chick. Listen, odds are that’s never going to happen, especially if he’s married. Talk to him and see where he stands. In some rare cases, the guy may be willing to leave his serious relationship and be with you. But either way, you should sit down together and see what’s going on. [Read: 15 signs a married man is attracted to you and why you need to run for the hills]

#3 No more sleepovers or playdates with him. If you want to break the pattern of being a side chick, then make some serious changes. I know it’s not easy, but if you don’t do it, you won’t move forward in your life. If he comes over to your place for a sleepover or to hang out, cut it off. The intimacy is the first thing that should end. [Read: Here’s how to stop cheating for good]

#4 Reflect on your choices. You won’t break the pattern unless you see why you’re going after men who are in relationships. Why are you attracted to taken men? Are you scared of committing to a serious relationship? Is that why you choose unavailable partners? It’s time to look in the mirror and figure out why you do what you do. [Read: The reasons why we should embrace the sex positive feminist movement]

#5 Stop being available. When he has free time, he would come over to your house, or you would take the day off to see him. Girl, stop! If you want know how to stop being a side chick, don’t be available. You being there for every text and call isn’t making this situation any better for yourself. Whether you want to see if he’ll leave his partner for you or you just want to end things completely, stop being available.

#6 Go through the motions of a break-up. This was a relationship. You were intimate with him and had feelings for him. So, when you decide to stop being his side chick, you’ll suffer the feelings you would have if you were in a relationship. You’re going to feel sadness and then anger, and these emotions are perfectly normal. Process them so you can move on. [Read: How to end an affair the right way and get over it completely]

#7 Re-evaluate your relationship goals. What are your goals and dreams for the future? What do you want? If you’re wondering how to stop being a side chick, it’s time you sat down with yourself and really thought about what you want out of your life. Write down or create a vision board of the type of relationship you want in your life. Odds are, you being a side chick doesn’t fit into that vision.

#8 Take him off of your social media. If you have him on social media, take him off of it. Remember, this is a break-up. So, you cannot be looking at photos or posts of him with his partner and kids. This isn’t going to make you feel any better or help you to move on. He has his partner; he made a choice. Delete him off of your social media so you can live your life.

#9 Tell him what you want. You need closure, so tell him what you want. Explain to him the relationship you want and ask if he can give it to you. He must choose between you or his current partner. And once he does make the decision, move on. If you’re not his choice, stop being his side chick.

#10 You know there are single men out there, right? Why are you going after a guy who’s in a relationship? You know there are plenty of good men out there that are single right now. This guy already found someone, and whether you like it or not, cheating on your partner isn’t a good quality to have. There’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t do that to you. [Read: The painful realities of being the other woman]

#11 Focus on building your self-respect. Aside from hurting other women, you also hurt yourself. Being a side chick means that you’ll most likely never be the number one woman in your life, no matter what he tells you. Focus on improving the respect and love you have for yourself. Because let’s face it, if you had self-respect and self-love, you wouldn’t let a man treat you like this.

[Read: Here’s how to fine tune and get rocky steady self-respect]

Some women enjoy being a side chick, but most women want to be the main woman in a man’s life. Use these tips for how to stop being a side chick. It’ll save you a world of pain in your future.

The post How to Stop Being a Side Chick: You Deserve to Be the Main Dish is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 2: Shady Men

You’ve approached a hot girl and the seduction is going well, then some “friend” of yours swoops in and steals her. Here’s what to watch out for to avoid babe theft.

Welcome back to my series about how to manage your circle of friends as you get better with women! It’s one of the most aggravating problems men face as they increase their skillset and get with more higher-quality women. They eventually realize they’ll need to upgrade their group of male friends to follow their progress.

Contents

I. The Conniving Nature of Shady Friends

II. Shady Friends Use You as a Crutch

1. Approach Anxiety Makes Men Shady
2. The Problem Amplifies If You’re Good
3. Selfishness and Destructive Behavior

III. Tough Choices as You Get Better

In Part 1, we talked about how many men are unfortunately clueless or dumb when it comes to women. Their lack of knowledge can make things awkward if you’re trying to do something with your girl, like maintaining a solid frame. With clueless and dumb friends, one split second mistake can affect you and your woman for months. The clueless friend will either downplay their actions or can’t fathom why their actions could have a serious impact. After all, they are typically hanging out with friends for the good times and will do nothing to impact their stake in the game.

Today we cover a more serious type of male friend: the conniving and shady friend, who uses you as a crutch to get the woman you are gaming. Shady friends often use the powerful tool of state transference to take a girl you approached, gamed, or even slept with and dated to twist the situation and get her for himself. As you can imagine, things can get ugly.

Why He Chose Her Over You: The Real Reason He Picked Her Instead

If you’ve been cheated on, left, or lied to, you have surely asked yourself why he chose her over you. And guess what, I have the answer.

If you’re left asking why he chose her over you, it is one of the crappiest feelings in the world. Trust me, I know. I have been there… twice.

It not only feels like a punch to the gut off the bat, but once you sit with the reality for a while it is worse than a regular rejection or breakup. It makes you question yourself. You compare yourself to the other girl.

It also manifests a divide between you and another girl that isn’t very feminist which then makes you feel guilty at the same time.

Wondering why he chose her over you can take over your mind. It can stop you from moving on, living your life, and bring self doubt into future relationships. With that, it is obvious you want an answer to why he chose her over you. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]

Why does it hurt so much

Before we get into why he chose her over you, let’s delve into why it hurts so much. This isn’t a normal breakup pain. It comes with so many more questions. You cared about him, you may have even loved him, and that makes you care what he thinks, even now.

You want those you care about to care about you too. Your feelings don’t just go away because his did. And if he chose someone over you, it feels like you weren’t enough. It not only feels like you failed him, but that you failed yourself. [Read: Why does love hurt when it goes bad? The truth you need to hear]

Being left for another woman sucks so much because women have been pitted against each other in society for years. We are conditioned to be mad or upset at the other girl rather than the guy.

We swallow up the feelings, whether rage, sadness, or pain, about him and focus on the other woman. Because we can’t be upset with him, we still care about him which makes it all hurt so much more.

[Read: How to bounce back after being rejected]

Think about The Bachelor. The girls are constantly fighting each other instead of questioning the lead about his behavior or choices which would make a whole lot more sense. Instead of comparing yourself to the girl that is your opposite, that he clearly has a connection with, asking him what he really wants would make more sense.

But it is part of our nature to blame ourselves for a failed relationship.

And with the way social media works, we can now compare ourselves quite literally to the woman he chose. You can look at her photos. You can see what her ex looked like. You can see how she looks in a bathing suit or how not awkward she was as a teenager.

You can mock her or feel intimidated by her. All of this feeds your insecurities and makes you feel worse about yourself. Can you imagine? All this pain and self-doubt because he chose her over you? [Read: How to stop loving someone else and start loving yourself more]

Why he chose her over you

I would love to tell you that answering this question is as simple as asking him, but most guys aren’t considerate enough to grace us with an answer. Not that his answer would really mean much.

If you could ask your ex why he chose her over you, what do you think he would say? Would he say she is hotter? Would he say she is easier to deal with or that she is more fun?

Or would he say you came up too short? Would he say the worst thing you’re thinking about yourself? Probably, almost certainly, no.

To be honest, most guys don’t even see the things we second-guess about ourselves. I can assure you he didn’t pick her over you because your nose has a dent or your boobs aren’t the same size. It wasn’t because you aren’t tan enough or thin enough or curvy enough. [Read: What to do if your boyfriend likes pictures of others girls on Instagram?]

It wasn’t because you aren’t confident enough or agreeable enough or easy enough.

As much as we compare and wonder and worry and stress over all of these things and more, he did not choose her over you for any describable reason.

When someone leaves you for another woman, it is purely preference and feelings, at least for any somewhat decent guy. You will never hear a guy worth being with say he left his girl to be with someone that had bigger boobs. It just isn’t going to happen.

Seriously, watch The Bachelor. When he has two women at the end and is struggling to choose, he isn’t mentioning that one is tall and one is short. He is talking about your future, whose lifestyle lines up with his, and who he has that indescribable feeling with. [Read: How to tell if there’s serious chemistry between two people]

They almost always say they just knew. And that is the thing. I know it won’t give you peace of mind. It won’t give you something to fix or focus on or pick apart about your body or personality, but that’s the way it is.

Just because he had that feeling with someone else and not with you does not make you any less amazing. It doesn’t mean you weren’t enough. It just means you weren’t for him and that is okay.

Think about it like pink hair. It is cool. You may not personally like it or ever even consider it, but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with it for someone else. Just because he didn’t pick you doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome and the right match for someone else. [Read: How to leave your relationship with your head held high]

How to get over why he chose her over you

I’m sorry my answer probably didn’t offer much help. I know it sucks to not have a clear-cut and concise answer to something like this. Seriously, I’ve been there.

The good news, I’m over it. It wasn’t an overnight healing process. I didn’t just come to terms with the fact that the guy I was in love with picked someone over me.

I had to do a lot of self-reflecting and distance myself from the feelings I still had for him. Then, I had to look at the situation with a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. [Read: How to stop liking a guy you know you can’t have]

I eventually realized I didn’t want someone who didn’t want me, no matter what their reason was. I wasted so much time wondering if she was a better kisser than me or was funnier than me. What did she do that I didn’t?

But the thing is, it wasn’t about her. And it wasn’t really about me either.

A relationship needs to be a two-way street. If he didn’t want me because he chose her or for any other reason I am better off without him, and so are you.

I know fighting practically and rationality with pain, betrayal, and self-doubt isn’t easy, but over time you will realize you are better off with someone that picks you first whether that is a better guy or yourself.

[Read: Here’s why you should not worry about why he chose her over you]

I hope you stop asking yourself why he chose her over you. Instead, ask yourself what you will now choose over him.

The post Why He Chose Her Over You: The Real Reason He Picked Her Instead is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

In Love with a Married Woman? How to Know if It’s Time to End It

So, you’re in love with a married woman. Well, it’s tough, but if things aren’t going anywhere, it’s time to end the relationship and move on.

Oh gosh, being in love with a married woman is a sticky situation. It is usually highly discouraged. Of course, for the obvious reason that this person is married. But secondly, married people, men and women, rarely end their marriages to be with their side-partner.

Maybe the woman you’re with wanted to escape her reality or is unhappy with her marriage, but it doesn’t mean she’s going to take off her ring and call it quits. And for you, it’s not a good spot to be in. You’re not in control of anything. Rather, you’re at the whim of your married partner.

In love with a married woman? How to end the relationship

You’ve decided that it’s time to move on. If that’s the case, I couldn’t agree more. What are you doing with a married woman, you know what I mean? Unless she already signed the divorce papers, there’s no guarantee things are going to work in your favor.

[Read: How to date a married woman and avoid the messy web of drama]

And the person who’s really going to hurt is you. She has her life, and she’ll go back to it. But you’ll be the one who gets hit the hardest. If you’re thinking about calling it quits, here are some things you should do.

#1 Focus on her actions, not her words. So, she’s told you she wants to leave her husband but has she left him yet? You cannot hang around based on her words. If there’s action, that’s one thing. But, if she’s just telling you what you want to hear, that’s not fair. Once you see her behavior, then you have a base to work off of. [Read: Are you suffering from the White Knight syndrome?]

#2 Talk to them about it. Listen, she’s been sleeping with you, while in a committed relationship with her husband. So, it’s clear there’s something going on in her marriage. But that doesn’t mean she’s willing to end things so she can be with you.

Have a conversation with her and see what she wants. You’ve watched her behavior; now it’s time to sit down and have a serious conversation about the future. Is she looking for something serious and long term with you, or just a bit of fun to compensate for her boring marriage?

#3 You don’t really know your partner. I know you think you know her, but when she goes home, she has a completely different life that you’re not a part of. Maybe she has children, for example, and you are not a part of that section of her life, which is pretty significant. So, keep this in mind when thinking about your future. You’re only seeing one side of her. [Read: Feeling trapped? Should you stay or break free?]

#4 Think about yourself. When in a sticky situation, we push our needs aside and focus on what we want at the moment. Yes, you spend time together, but you’re not given her full attention. Remember you’re worthy of attention, honesty, and genuine love. As of now, you’re a secret, and unless she makes a move, that’s all you’ll ever be.

 #5 Break up in person. I know we’re all about texting these days, but when it comes to relationships, breakups should be done in person. So, if you’re going to end the relationship, meet up with her in person and talk about how you feel. You need closure, and so does she. If it lacks closure, then there’s a chance the relationship will open up again in the future. [Read: Breaking up with someone you love – 20 right reasons to walk away]

#6 Don’t fall for her lines. When emotional and desperate, we say things and promise things we cannot fulfill. When you break up with her, she may say that she’s going home right now to end the marriage, but don’t fall for that. Sure, at that moment, maybe she does want to do that. But as of now, she hasn’t.

So, yes, she’s welcome to do that, but don’t wait around for her to make that move. During a breakup, both men and women will say things we don’t necessarily mean in hopes of keeping things the way they are. [Read: Here’s the guide for how to leave someone you love]

#7 Be very straightforward. Listen, if you really want to move on with your life, be straightforward. Don’t say any lines like, maybe one day we’ll reconnect. No, no, no. This isn’t closing the door. It’s leaving it cracked open. You don’t deserve that, and neither does she. Be clear that you must end the relationship. It’s finished. 

#8 Don’t contact her. After the breakup, it’s will be hard to cope. You’re in love with a married woman; it’s heartbreaking and tragic. But don’t contact her. If you made the decision to move on, stick to your word and move on. You’ll be tempted all the time to contact her, but you can’t. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]

#9 Don’t accept her calls and messages. If she’s unhappy with her marriage and life in general, she will feel desperate after the breakup. She’ll try to get your attention any way she can and contact you in hopes of things working out. But don’t slip into the trap. Remove her number from your phone, block her calls and messages, and move on with your life. 

#10 Remove her and her friends from your phone/social media. You may have her on social media, including her friends. Make the move and delete all of them from your phone and social media. If you keep them, it’s just an opening for her to reach out to you. If you really want to move on, you must take tough actions. [Read: How to feel better after a breakup and find your happiness again]

#11 Give yourself time to move on. You won’t fall in love the next day with someone new after the breakup. If anything, it’s going to be a rough period for you. Breakups really suck, especially when the love is still there. But she’s married, and this isn’t something you should accept.

You want a full and wholesome relationship, and it’s something she can’t provide. Give yourself time to move on and process the emotions.

[Read: Understanding your boundaries in dating]

If you’re in love with a married woman, it’s a tough spot to be in. Yes, your heart tells you to keep going, but it’s time to listen to your head.

The post In Love with a Married Woman? How to Know if It’s Time to End It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Get a Guy to Stop Dating Other Girls & Get Exclusive With You

When should you have the chat about being exclusive? If you want to learn how to get a guy to stop dating other girls, it all comes down to the talk.

Early relationship chats are pretty awkward, right? You don’t want to say anything that’s going to scare him away. At the same time, you really want to know how to get a guy to stop dating other girls and whether you’re wasting your time or not.

They all say, go with the flow or lighten up and see what happens. If you’re anything like me, you’re not very good at that. I’m not into wasting my time. If I like a guy, I want to know that he’s on the same page as me.

The problem is, jumping in too quickly to figure that information out has landed me in a few sticky situations. Thankfully, I’ve learned from it. I can pass on my words of wisdom to you!

If you want to know how to get a guy to stop dating other girls and to become exclusive, you simply must have the chat about what you are and where you’re at.

[Read: What does exclusive mean and the steps that show you’re at this stage]

You also should think carefully about whether you want to continue seeing a guy who you are pretty sure is seeing other girls behind your back. I mean, there’s ‘seeing’ and there’s ‘seeing’. You should be sure that if he’s sleeping with other girls *assuming you’re okay with this* that he’s being safe.

How to get a guy to stop dating other girls – It’s about him, not you

Firstly, understand that a guy who wants to date other girls and who doesn’t really want to be exclusive is not going to have his mind changed simply because you want him to stop. It should come from him. He has to want to only be with you and not with anyone else.

If he refuses this, think carefully about your next move. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want an exclusive relationship? You might be okay with this. In that case, carry on. However, the fact you’re reading an article about how to get a guy to stop dating other girls tells me that you’re not fine with it at all.

[Read: 20 signs you’re wasting time in a one sided relationship]

There is no right and wrong time to have the talk about whether you’re ready to be exclusive or not. However, around the first or second month is fine. It depends on the couple. Usually, after six weeks of regular dates, you should be pretty clear in your mind on whether you want to enter into a real relationship or not. He should also be clear on whether or not he wants the same.

You also have to think about what you’re doing. Are you seeing other people? In that case, you need to stop too. You can’t expect to figure out how to get a guy to stop dating other girls if you’re doing the same thing!

[Read: How to date multiple guys without being shady or called a cheater]

Should he even be dating other girls?

Ah, the million dollar question.

This is such a grey area. Firstly, if you’re not in a relationship and you’re simply dating, i.e. you’re going on a few dates and seeing how well you get along, there is nothing you can say about him seeing other girls and doing the same. You’re not committed. You’ve not spoken about whether or not you’re okay with this.

However, after you’ve had the exclusivity chat, if he continues to see other girls despite your wishes for him not to, you must wonder whether he has any intention of this dating situation to become anything more serious. The chances are that he doesn’t. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship: 14 signs to know your real status]

In that case, has he agreed to be in a relationship with you and you’ve made it clear you don’t want him seeing other people? If he continues to do so, he’s disrespecting your feelings and *arguably* cheating.

Many people think that a guy shouldn’t be seeing anyone else other than them from even the first date, but in this day and age it’s a pretty tough line to draw. You haven’t made promises or committed to each other, so you’re actually free to do whatever you want, provided you’re being safe with whatever that is.

However, if you’re starting to develop feelings and don’t like the fact that he’s seeing other girls, it’s time to speak up. [Read: How to ask him if he’s seeing someone else minus the awkwardness]

Wait until at least one month of regular dating has passed. This means you’ve been seeing each other on a consistent basis and spending time together. It also means that the dating situation has to be progressing, e.g. you’re sharing more experiences together, you’re opening up to one another and talking about your lives. It doesn’t mean you must have slept together. But it does mean that you’re close to one another in an emotional way.

After that, it’s perfectly fine to talk about being exclusive. Don’t worry about diving in there too soon after this point. If you carry on and you really don’t like him dating other girls too, you’re simply going to get hurt. It’s not worth risking your feelings for a little worry about whether he’s going to freak out and run away. If he does, well, he’s not the guy for you.

Does being exclusive mean you’re in a firm relationship?

Not necessarily, no.

Being exclusive basically means that you’re prioritizing the time you spend together with a view to it becoming something more serious. It doesn’t mean you’re necessarily there yet. You’re making progress and a relationship is definitely in the cards.

[Read: Dating exclusively but not in a relationship? The grey area dilemma]

It’s almost like a halfway point between the first date and official relationship status. It’s a sign of intent. A sign that something might be on the horizon.

Many people make the mistake of assuming that it’s done deal when you decide to be exclusive, but be cautious and simply go with the flow a little. There is a lot you still don’t know about this guy. You’ve now got the time to get to know him better. The fact that you know he’s not opening up to other girls gives you the peace of mind and freedom to explore the budding relationship in a deeper way. [Read: 12 sure signs he wants to be exclusive and committed to only you]

Remember that figuring out how to get a guy to stop dating other girls really isn’t about trying to get him to stop doing something that he doesn’t want to do. There is no guy on this planet that will agree to stop this if he doesn’t want to. He’s simply going to tell you that he isn’t up for an exclusive relationship.

Then it will be up to you to decide whether you want to continue with it or not. In that case, and if you really can’t handle him seeing other girls, walk away and find someone who wants the same things that you do.

[Read: A reason to panic? What does seeing other people really mean?]

Understanding how to get a guy to stop dating other girls literally comes down to explaining your feelings. Then, ask for his view on it. If he wants the same thing, that’s great. If not, leave the situation with your head held high.

The post How to Get a Guy to Stop Dating Other Girls & Get Exclusive With You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

9 Ways to Be Romantic Without Being Cheesy

We all know that trying too hard turns women off, but you still need to show her you care, right? How do you be romantic without going overboard?

It’s a hilarious irony that although romance is the most talked about subject in human history, how to be romantic is a largely misunderstood subject, by both men and women. Keeping a woman happy is a lot easier than the literature would have you believe.

This simplicity is your liberation from the idea of sacrifice as love.

Romance is a simple combination of:

1. Her being appreciated and noticed

2. Her being well sexed

She wants to be noticed for both her physical qualities and her personality. She wants to feel sexy and beautiful but also smart, courageous, funny, etc. If you show her and tell her, with earnest sincerity, she will feel these ways because of you.

That’s one half of romance.

Contents

I. Romantic Balance

1. Compliments
2. Admire her
3. Tell Her You Appreciate Her
4. Tell Her You Love Her during Sex
5. Take Her Out
6. Text Her Good Morning/Night
7. Randomly Text Her This
8. Jump Her Bones
9. Cuddle and Talk

II. A Man Who Tries

She also wants to be desired sexually and ravished. There is no higher compliment to a woman than your hard dick enjoying itself inside of her. But men complicate this, usually in an attempt to not treat her like a sexual being, out of fear or “respect,” which is another cute irony.

The truth is, women want to be objectified sexually, even sometimes without romance. Or, in a serious relationship with romance, or at least moving in that direction, you then add appreciation for her personality to the base of your sexual desire. However, sexual desire is still the foundation and the way of expressing your love.

This is what separates the creepy guy at the bar objectifying her and her adoring, masculine lover, boyfriend, or husband. The creepy guy, or any guy she doesn’t see as dominant, is insulting her by desiring her sexually.

“How could this guy think he has a shot with me?”

Sure, a hundred loser guys liking her photo on Instagram will make her smile and feel validated, but it’s worth one-sixteenth of a sixteenth of a second of her lover’s appreciation for her.

And she has no problem with the sexual objectification, as I said, even if he’s a random HOT stranger. That’s because, for X or Y hot characteristic he has (fashion, charisma, tall, handsome, status, money, devil-may-care attitude, etc.), his sexual attraction is welcomed.

He’s “allowed” to objectify her because she ALSO positively objectifies him (I want to have sex with him, or “I want his babies”).

And this is romance.

It's a combination of appreciation and lust. The question that inevitably follows from any man who knows the nature of women is how to achieve a balance.

The Ultimate How-To for Achieving a Mind-Blowing Shaking Orgasm

When it comes to sex, we all want the ability to blow our partner’s mind with a shaking orgasm. But how do you reach that out-of-this-world level?

When you have amazing sex with a shaking orgasm, you never forget it. No matter who you sleep with next, that memory stays lodged in your mind. Why? Because now you’ve had a taste of really mind-blowing sex. Let’s be honest, that doesn’t happen every day with just anyone.

For you to have had that one amazing experience, everything had to fit perfectly together. Most of the time, it’s by chance. No one is planning it step by step. And although you want to know exactly how to achieve shaking orgasms, there’s not really a plan to follow.

What I’m going to give you are tips that can help increase the chances of a shaking orgasm because you’re not the only person in the bedroom.

[Read: The intense orgasms checklist for amazing sex every time]

How to achieve a shaking orgasm

Much of it relies on your partner as well. You can be doing everything right, but if their mind is in a different place or they’re not feeling that sexual at the moment, it doesn’t matter what you do. So, take that into consideration.

If your partner isn’t orgasming, that’s not just on you. Perhaps they don’t know enough about their body or aren’t in the best of moods. So, when testing out these tips, keep that in mind. Sex is a two-way street.

Shake, shake, shake.

#1 Remember, there are two of you. It’s easy to get bummed out when your partner doesn’t orgasm because you think it’s your fault. But don’t be so hard on yourself. Your partner is going through their own experiences as well.

Maybe they had a hard day at work or a fight with their mother. And these outside situations can distract a person from being in the present and enjoying sex. [Read: 12 real reasons why you aren’t having a mindblowing orgasm]

#2 Build the sexual tension. One mistake many people make is not building up the sexual tension. Instead, since they’re excited, they just want to jump right into things. And I completely understand, but remember, you’re not the only person involved.

Having a quickie is one thing, but for an orgasm, there needs to be a build-up of sexual tension. Whether it’s sexting a couple of hours before seeing each other or flirting heavily in public, these actions will create a build-up, and that’s what you want. [Read: How to build sexual tension to the point where it’s out of control]

#3 Don’t skip the foreplay. This is another thing people tend to skip over without realizing how important it is. You cannot skip foreplay. Again, having a quickie is completely different, but if you want to have or give your partner a shaking orgasm, then you need time.

Foreplay is what warms everyone up. It increases arousal for both parties and gets everything ready for the big act. Foreplay can be oral sex, massage, or manual stimulation. [Read: What is foreplay and the sexiest, steamiest tips for good sex]

#4 Don’t force the moment. I know you want the shaking orgasm to happen, but you can’t force it on your partner. If everything’s going well, and the mood is right, it will happen. But, as I said, if your partner had a bad day or is stressed out, then they may not be able to relax fully. This isn’t the time when you should force the moment. Take a step back and go with the flow. You can’t force the moment to happen.

#5 An orgasm is mental. Remember how I just said you shouldn’t force the moment? Why do you think I said that? It’s because orgasms are purely mental. If you want your partner to orgasm, they need to be in the right mindset.

Building up sexual tension and including foreplay can help get your partner into the zone. They need to be in a mental place where they can let go and enjoy the moment. Aside from foreplay, you can try to create a sensual ambiance with candles, music, and soft lighting. [Read: Sexy bedroom essentials – 16 ways to get your room to scream sex]

#6 You need to feel comfortable. If you want you and your partner to orgasm, then you need to feel comfortable. Of course, they should feel comfortable with you. Can you talk about sex with your partner? If you’re not comfortable, then this could prevent you from really letting go. If you want to have an orgasm with your partner, focus on feeling comfortable in your own skin, and reducing your sexual anxiety. [Read: 25 hilarious myths about sex most of us used to believe]

#7 Listen to your partner. You don’t need to ask your partner 100 questions to see if they’re enjoying what you’re doing. Instead, listen to their body. For example, if they’re moaning, grabbing onto the bed, or saying “yes, yes, yes,” it’s safe to say they like what you’re doing.

If there’s radio silence, then it’s time to switch things up. If you’re doing everything you can, but still unsure, ask your partner what they like. [Read: 13 sizzling hints to know if both of you are sexually compatible in bed]

#8 Focus on oral sex. When it comes to orgasming, whether your partner is a man or woman, both sexes are more likely to orgasm if they’ve had at least 15 minutes of oral sex. Again, if it’s a quickie, you won’t have time for a long oral sex session, and that’s okay. But if you have the time, invest it in oral sex. It’ll pay off.

#9 Use toys. But only if your partner agrees to it. There’s nothing more terrifying than having sex and suddenly having an unspoken toy in your butt. Before breaking out the toys, make sure your partner is into trying it out. If so, experiment with the toys, testing the different speeds and pressure on your partner. One thing to remember: you must communicate. [Read: 13 must-have couples’ sex toys for naughty first timers]

#10 Masturbate in front of each other. This is actually a great way to understand what your partner likes. Plus, it’s sexy. Mutual masturbation is pretty naughty as neither one of you can touch each other, so it builds up sexual tension. But, aside from that, it also gives you the chance to see what your partner enjoys, and vice versa. 

#11 Don’t make this your goal. Your goal for the night shouldn’t be to make your partner orgasm. Once you place that goal above your head, you won’t be able to enjoy the experience. Sure, you may want your partner to orgasm, but let it go.

It may or may not happen. Either way, you’re going to enjoy the experience. The less pressure you put on yourself, the higher the chances it’ll happen. [Read: What does an orgasm feel like? The answers-cum-guide]

#12 An orgasm may not happen. There’s no guarantee an orgasm is going to happen. It may take three, four, even ten times before your partner is able to orgasm. But that’s okay. This isn’t something you can force out of your partner. Having an orgasm isn’t that easy. It relies greatly on one’s mental state. So, sit back and relax. Enjoy the experience, and with time, a shaking orgasm will come.

[Read: How to have the best sex ever – 15 ways to do it every single time]

You want to blow your partner’s mind—I get it. But you need the right tools to make it happen. So, try these tips the next time you want to give your partner a shaking orgasm.

The post The Ultimate How-To for Achieving a Mind-Blowing Shaking Orgasm is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Stop Having Feelings for Someone Who Won’t Like You Back

Got rejected? Crushing on your coworker that’s taken? You will want to know how to stop having feelings for someone and move on for good.

Having feelings for someone that doesn’t share them or that you shouldn’t necessarily be having feelings for, hurts. And understanding how to stop having feelings for someone doesn’t just happen because you don’t want them anymore.

When you have feelings for someone, even just a crush, they can linger a lot longer than you would like.

Figuring out how to stop having feelings for someone has plagued humankind for centuries. It is a burden. Feelings overwhelm us and take our time and attention away from more important things.

But, the good news is that you can learn how to stop having feelings for someone and move on for good.

[Read: How to stop liking someone you know you can never have]

Why do you want to stop having feelings for someone?

Although logic and emotions do not always go hand in hand, practicality can be the best first step in getting over someone.

Why do you want to stop having feelings for this person? Is it an ex or someone that is already in a relationship? Is it someone that isn’t interested?

Remind yourself why your life would be happier and more productive if you stopped having those feelings. This is not a magic cure-all. It will aim you in the right direction moving forward.

Look forward to the improvements your life will have if you stop having feelings for this person. Will you be able to focus better at work? Will you be able to start dating again? Or will you let go of the pain of a breakup or rejection?

I know your feelings are strong. Logic may not feel strong enough to shut down your feelings, and it may not be, but reminding yourself of why you want to stop having feelings for someone will help you focus.

Whenever you notice yourself falling back into Facebook stalking them or daydreaming about your imaginary wedding, remind yourself that that isn’t conducive to a happy future.

The why is just as important as the how, if not more so. [Read: The 9 step guide you need for how to get over a heartbreak]

How to stop having feelings for someone

Once you know why you want to stop having feelings for someone, you have something to focus on. You have an end goal you can aim at.

But, take steps to really let go of those feelings and move forward without your emotions taking over.

#1 Let all your feelings out. If you try to stop having feelings for someone without letting those feelings out, it will feel more like you’re just pushing them down and not getting rid of them for good. When you can’t tell the person you have feelings for that you like them, write it out.

Go old-school with a pen and paper like you’re writing in your middle school diary. Let out all your feelings about this person. You may feel a weight has lifted. You can then crumble it up and toss it out. Or go further and burn it *safely* to release those feelings from yourself. [Read: How to deal with heartbreak in a healthy way]

#2 Accept this as reality. A reason it is so hard to stop having feelings for someone is that we hold out hope. We live in a  fantasy world where maybe one day things will work out. We make up conversations in our heads and let that impractical hope guide us.

Hope is great in many circumstances. When you want to stop having feelings for someone, it is time to accept the reality for what it is. Once you come to peace with the fact that these feelings aren’t reciprocated for whatever reason, it will be easier to let those feelings go. [Read: Unreciprocated love and 22 ways to move on when your love isn’t reciprocated back]

#3 Take off your rose-colored glasses. Look at them as if you didn’t have those feelings. When we like something and have romantic feelings for them, we overlook their faults. We see them as the best version of themselves.

That is great when you’re actually in a relationship but makes it hard to get over someone. Do you know how after a breakup you finally realize all the things that drove you crazy about your ex that you didn’t see when you were together? That is what you want to do here.

Think about the things you don’t like about this person to remind yourself that they really aren’t as great as you thought. It can be anything from their sense of style to their stubbornness or lack of honesty.

#4 Get distracted. Sometimes, to stop liking someone leads us to focus on them even more. If you struggle with getting this person out of your head, focus on something else. Keep yourself busy.

Throw yourself into work, a home project, or just make a lot of plans with friends. The more you do, the less time you’ll have to think about this person and your feelings. [Read: The three stages to get a certain someone out of your mind]

#5 Focus on something productive. While outings with friends are a good distraction, but you don’t feel like you’re just filling up the time until you’ve moved on, do something productive.

Volunteer to clean up your local beach, clean out your wardrobe and donate to charity, or even get a second job. These things will not just keep you busy but make you feel proud of what you’re accomplishing. [Read: 14 proven ways to happily move on from an ex]

#6 Remove them from your online presence. This is one of the best things you can do for yourself when you want to stop having feelings for someone. Seeing them post selfies and what they ate for breakfast keeps them at the forefront of your mind. It also lets you give in and look at their photos and posts whenever you feel weak.

You can unfriend them, block them, or just hide their content from your feed, but do it. I know it is hard for us to let go in this way. It is the healthiest thing you can do right now. [Read: A step-by-step walkthrough to get over someone you still like]

#7 Stop seeing them. It is one thing to stop seeing this person virtually but not seeing them in real life is even more helpful. If you see someone daily because you go to school together or share a friend group, it can be hard to rid yourself of those feelings.

Obviously, you can’t transfer schools or quit your job or find new friends, so take a break. If they are in your friends group, avoid that group or places they will be until those feeling fade away. If they are in your class or at work, keep your interactions as brief and professional as possible. And when you’re around them, focus on more productive things.

#8 Date casually. If you have feelings for someone, throwing yourself into a new relationship to distract yourself isn’t healthy or fair. Instead of getting a rebound, date casually. Go into it open, but let the other person know you are just interested in meeting people at the moment.

This will open your eyes to other people that are out there and available. It will remind you that you have other options and can form feelings for other people. [Read: Rebound relationships and why it’s the best thing you can do]

#9 Don’t compare others to them. When you start dating, even casually, it is easy to compare anyone new to the last person you had feelings for. We have all done it at some point. Everyone is unique. Comparing people’s qualities, whether physical or not, is unfair and pointless.

Maybe the person you want to stop having feelings for is taller than someone you just met, but that doesn’t really matter. Focus on what makes the person you just met unique without the comparison. [Read: Should dating be passionate or practical?]

#10 See a therapist. If you have tried all of this and still struggle with learning how to stop having feelings for someone, seeing a therapist may be your best option. In therapy, work with a professional to pinpoint where your emotions are coming from and face them head on. Hopefully, you can cut them off from the source.

[Read: The pain of missing someone: Your heart will mend in time]

Learn how to stop having feelings for someone with a bit of focus, a lot of determination, and hope that there are other options out there.

The post How to Stop Having Feelings for Someone Who Won’t Like You Back is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

12 Obvious & Subtle Signs Your Girlfriend’s Friends Don’t Like You

There are some obvious signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you. Some are more subtle. Here are signs to watch for. Turn the tide in your direction.

Let’s face it, you must have your girlfriend’s friends on your side. Otherwise, life will be difficult. Beware these signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you.

Girls listen to their gal pals. While you might not need 100% approval from the squad, you do need to score at least around 80% for the relationship to have any chance of survival.

It’s cutthroat, I know, but it’s true.

[Read: Ask these good questions for a better connection with her friends]

12 signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you

While you should never attempt to be someone you’re not, simply to get your girlfriend’s friends on your side, be wary and mindful of what you say and do around them. There is almost some kind of psychic ability that friends have, which can help them figure out your true intentions faster than you can sneeze.

It’s a special ability, for sure.

If her friends don’t like you, you’ll know it easily; however, some signs are a little more subtle than others. Check out this list of signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you, then take drastic action to save your budding relationship!

#1 You’re not invited to group get-togethers. If your girlfriend and her friends are having a gathering which involves everyone’s significant others, and you’re not invited, there is a very good reason for that. People don’t like you. Your girlfriend doesn’t have the heart to tell you.

Terrible, but true. [Read: How to be a good boyfriend with these traits that matter the most]

#2 They tell her that they don’t like you. Gal pals are pretty direct, so if they don’t like you, they’re probably going to tell her directly, or in a pretty obvious way. It’s up to her what she does with this information. She has her own mind so you shouldn’t worry too much, but if you’re told about this, ask why. Maybe they’ve simply taken you the wrong way, or you just didn’t make the best first impression. The only way is up!

#3 They’re always sarcastic when you’re around. Sarcasm is a sure-fire sign that someone doesn’t really like you very much, and if her friends are always being super-sarcastic whenever you say something, it’s quite obvious that they’re not your biggest fans. [Read: Are you an annoying boyfriend? The traits that make one]

#4 You’re given the ‘look.’ You know the type of look I’m talking about. The side-eyed look that communicates “hey, I really don’t like you very much.” If you’re getting these looks of disgust, trust me, it’s not a good sign.

#5 They don’t greet you warmly. It’s not hard to figure out that if someone is given a warm hug to say ‘hi’ and you get a curt nod in your direction, it’s quite likely that they’re not your biggest admirer. This is one of those clear signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you or are thrilled to see you.

#6 They’re always trying to trip you up. I don’t mean this literally, but if they’re always trying to get you to stumble over your words or admit something and then question you over it, they’re doing this to show your girlfriend that their reasons for not liking you are genuine. In this case, ask yourself why. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before liking him]

#7 They tell you outright. If they come right out and say that they don’t like you, believe them. Nobody is going to tell someone that they don’t like them and not mean it. It’s likely that they will do this quietly, perhaps when your girlfriend is in the bathroom. It’s a careful warning. An “I’ve got my eye on you” type of deal. [Read: How to be a nice person who’s loved by all]

#8 You get a sense of simply not being welcome. Do you feel like they would rather you weren’t there? Do you just not feel welcome? They’re giving you vibes that you’re picking up on clearly. Simply, they don’t like you and would rather you be somewhere else.

#9 Their partners don’t invite you out. If their partners are all having a night out and you’re not invited, it’s because they’ve been told not to invite you. This can be hurtful, especially if you’ve done nothing wrong and you’d love to be part of the wider squad. [Read: How to not be a nice guy and go from pushover to achiever]

#10 They don’t laugh when you crack a joke. It was funny, your girlfriend is laughing, even a stand-up comedian would have been proud of that gag, but your girlfriend’s friends are all stony-faced. It’s true, they just don’t like you.

#11 They talk about her ex(es) in a very positive light. One of the signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you is if they bring up one of her exes and talk about them in a positive light. In this case, they’re telling you that they wish their friend was still with that person, and not with you.

#12 They disagree with you often. This could be simply because they don’t agree with you. If it happens most of the time, the chances are that it runs a little deeper than that. They might be disagreeing with you on purpose, simply because they don’t like you very much. [Read: A guide to be charming and liked by everyone]

So, what should you do?

If you can nod along to several of these signs, you might now be wondering what the hell you’re supposed to do about it. Should you defend yourself? Should you question it? Or should you run away? Should you hold firm? What exactly should you do?

I’m not going to lie; this is not a great situation to be in. If your girlfriend’s friends obviously don’t like you, it’s a problem. Your girlfriend has her own mind and isn’t always going to be swayed by their decision, but it may influence her and make her wonder what they’re seeing that she’s not. [Read: How to talk to your girlfriend’s friends and leave them swooning]

Tread carefully here. Avoid pointing fingers and blaming her friends for acting a certain way. These people have been in her life a lot longer than you have. She will always defend them. Instead, consider why they might think that way. Have they heard a false rumor about you? Or, was your girlfriend hurt in the past and they’re just looking out for her?

Do you best to win them around with your honesty and natural kindness. It will take time, but if they continue with their hostile treatment despite your best efforts, your girlfriend will notice that they’re being a little unfair to you. In that case, she can handle the situation and maybe get her friends to give you a break. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a great boyfriend her friends will love]

This is a far better route forward than blaming and pointing the finger. You will never come out of a situation such as this very well, regardless of how honest or right you are. Allow her friends to trip themselves up. If you’ve genuinely done nothing wrong and there is no real reason for them to dislike you so much, simply trust that the situation will right itself over time.

[Read: How to get your partner’s friends to accept you]

There are many signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you. Don’t trip yourself up by falling foul of the trap they might set for you. Be patient and give them a chance to get to know you, and soon enough they may learn to trust you and turn into your ally.

The post 12 Obvious & Subtle Signs Your Girlfriend’s Friends Don’t Like You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Open Loops

An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too.

An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic.

For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible little restaurant when driving around Southside last Sunday. Do you ever drive around Southside? I know it's a little down in the dumps but blah blah..."

You opened the topic of 'incredible little restaurant', then switched to a different topic (driving around Southside).

Meanwhile, you've left the 'incredible little restaurant' topic open. You can now loop back to it later if you wish.

Open loops are handy, because they serve as ready topics for you to switch back to later on. If one topic of conversation dries up, you can flip back to a loop you opened earlier.

Master conversationalists create lots of open loops. Open loops can serve as lifelines, bailing you out when something you tried conversationally does not work.

Seeding is a kind of open loop -- where you open the loop of something you'd like to do with someone at some point, then return to it later on.

Open loops have many uses.

For today's Tactics Tuesdays installment, I'll show you several of those uses (to help you get the gist of the tactic... but there are myriad uses for open loops), and I'll give you more examples of how to open a loop within your conversations.

How Not to Be Boring in a Relationship As You Start to Settle Down

Once you’ve dated for a while your relationship can grow dull, but you can learn how not to be boring in a relationship. Keep the spark alive!

Whether you’ve been together six months, six years, or sixty years, you can learn how not to be boring in a relationship. Keep going strong.

Once the novelty of a new relationship wears off, we get into a routine or as some may call it, a rut. It happens. When you see each other every day, you stop getting dressed up. You lounge around and veg out.

This is totally normal. But, it can feel sort of blah. When you’ve been dating for a while you can feel stuck. You already know a lot about your partner. It is easy to fall into what is comfortable.

You come home from work and it is way easier to put on sweats and watch The Real Housewives than it is to get dressed and go out on the town.

The thing is that you don’t have to be boring in a relationship. You can have fun in a relationship no matter how comfy you’ve gotten. And that doesn’t mean you must get dressed in your best outfit and go to a crowded bar or club.

There are tons of ways to prevent being boring in a relationship. Keep the spark alive in a way that feels right to you and your partner. 

[Read: Here’s how to rekindle your love and bring back the spark]

Is your relationship boring?

You’re worried your relationship is getting boring. And that is a good sign. Making a change and keeping things fresh and exciting shows you are invested and willing to work on your relationship.

But, are you actually boring? You might assume that because you reached that point where you just stay in and watch Netflix every weekend that you’re boring. That isn’t necessarily true.

You can go out every weekend or even try new things and still be boring. If you stay in, but you talk and laugh and surprise each other with a home-cooked meal or prank your relationship, you could be just as fun as ever.

If you do just sit at home and watch Netflix and do nothing else, it can get boring. That is the difference. It is in how you treat each other. Do you still flirt? Do you compliment each other? And do you still try to learn more about each other?

With that, you’ll feel if your relationship is getting boring even if you can’t describe why. That is when you shake things up. [Read: 15 common reasons why so many couples get bored with their relationship all the time]

How not to be boring in a relationship

Being boring in a relationship is easy. Being not boring is where your creativity comes into play.

Some people may come up with elaborate dates, scavenger hunts, or expensive gifts. Others will do something small and from the heart. Figuring out how not to be boring in a relationship isn’t about what others can see. It’s about what makes you and your partner excited.

#1 Accept this happens. Before you try to fix anything, realize that boredom happens in every relationship, even healthy ones. It is a natural part of any relationship. Once you get to know each other and are comfortable, it is easy to let that be the steering focus.

Know there is nothing wrong with you or your partner. This is just a passing phase. [Read: How to keep a relationship going when you feel it slipping away]

#2 Flirt. Once you get into a committed relationship, the flirting can cease. Those tingly butterflies can stop fluttering. A small compliment or even teasing can do a lot for the morale of your relationship.

Compliment your partner on their outfit, their taste in home decor, or their strength or determination. Just changing up the fact that you’re used to each other and reigniting those nerves and blushing cheeks can amp up your relationship. [Read: Cute relationship goals every couple should have on their bucket list]

#3 Talk to each other about it. The easiest way when it comes to knowing how not to be boring in a relationship is to talk about it. If you just stew in this concern alone, not only will nothing happen, but you’ll feel worse about it.

Tell your partner you feel like you’re in a rut. You want to do something to spice things up. Throw out ideas and even make a list.

#4 Try something new together. Trying something new together as a couple can remind you of why you are so connected in the first place. Go to an escape room, volunteer, or even do something wild like skydiving.

Taking risks, learning something new, and even being competitive with each other can boost the feelings you already have. [Read: 17 amazing ideas to rekindle your love and ignite the spark again]

#5 Teach each other something. Learning something together helps with your bond. Bonus! Your attraction can gain a lot from teaching each other something new. You get to be awed and impressed by your partner and learn something in the process.

Teach them how to change a tire, build a website, or even fold an origami napkin.

#6 Do something spontaneous. Spontaneity is different for everyone. One couple may take off to Mexico for the weekend. Others might go to a movie without buying the tickets online first.

There is nothing wrong with either of those scenarios or anything in between. Whatever excites you and your partner and is out of your routine or unplanned will feel new and stimulating. [Read: 18 tips that’ll make you way more spontaneous in life]

#7 Try role play. This can be sexual or not. Role play can reignite a spark that may be dimming. Long-term love and the chemistry and passion from a new love interest differ.

Meet your partner at a bar and pretend to be someone new. Have an accent and new name. Act as if you’re meeting for the first time. Maybe it is a blind date or an in-office romance that is frowned upon. This can really be exciting while maintaining your level of comfort in other areas. [Read: 30 naughty questions that’ll instantly bring the sexy spark back in love]

#8 Hang out with other couples. Sometimes just the two of you doing things is what makes it so easy to fall into a routine. Go on double dates. Incorporating other couples or friends in your plans can make things exciting.

Not only do you get to see other sides of each other, but you get to meet new people and really expand your relationship outside of your house.

#9 Unplug. It is so easy to check your email while with your partner and get pulled in by social media and apps. Take a day during the weekend or even a few hours in the evening to shut down and just be together.

Turn off your phones and even the TV. Play a board game or just talk. Even cleaning together or building an Ikea desk can connect you more than sitting together on your phones. [Read: How to show someone you love them with more than mere words]

#10 Do small things. The small things in relationships make the biggest difference. Surprise your partner with flowers or a love note on the fridge. Text your partner throughout the day so they know you’re thinking of them.

Simply reminding your partner with small touches, notes, or bringing them their favorite treat at work can do a lot of good for your relationship.

[Read: How to show affection in a relationship if it doesn’t come naturally]

Knowing how not to be boring in a relationship is all about your feelings for each other. Remind each other that the feelings are still there and as strong as ever and it’ll make all the difference to your relationship.

The post How Not to Be Boring in a Relationship As You Start to Settle Down is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.