Approach Anxiety Is a Flat Tire

Anxiety is trying to imagine and solve every possible outcome, all at once. When you stop trying to control things you can’t, it’s like fixing a flat tire in your game.

Contents

I. I’m a Flat Tire?

II. What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

III. Thoughts Cause Emotion

IV. Solving Every Problem at Once

V. How to Deal with Anxiety

VI. Fear and Day Game

Men often come to me in a desperate condition. They say, “I’m not that bad with women. If I could just destroy this approach anxiety, I’d be able to get all the girls I want.”

I feel like a car mechanic who specializes in changing tires. Every car owner may think their car is unique, but I’ve changed thousands of tires, to the point of routine. So while the student is saying “My father never paid enough attention, and my mother was overbearing, and I was a fat kid in grade 4, and…”

All I hear is “My tire is flat. Can you teach me how to change it?”

21 Perfect Texts to Send after a First Date No Matter How It Went

First dates can be brutal or they can be a breath of fresh air. Whether you want a second date or not, here are 21 texts to send after a first date.

First dates are always new territory. No matter how many first dates you’ve been on, you never know what to expect with someone new. Sure, sometimes things go south, but sometimes a first date can be a glorious start to something great. No matter which way it goes, you’ll want to know what texts to send after a first date.

Are you eager to see them again? Are you feeling unsure or do you want to make sure you never see them again? Any and all of the outcomes of a first date require a follow-up text. But it can be hard to know what to say. That’s what I’m here for.

Generic texts to send after a first date

It is okay if after the first date you aren’t completely sure if you want to see them again. Maybe the date was fine, but you didn’t have a spark. You may want to think about if you want to try again or move on.

That is totally okay. Don’t feel bad that you aren’t sure. But also don’t ghost your date because you aren’t sure what to say.

[Read: 10 second date rules you need to follow to see if you’re a match]

Instead, here are some basic and more generic texts to send after a first date. With these, you can keep the lines of communication open until you decide whether or not you want to go on another date.

#1 “I had a nice time tonight. I hope you made it home safely.” There is nothing in this text that says you are super into them nor are you foregoing a second date altogether. This is a polite and friendly way to check-in after a first date when you aren’t really sure of your intentions. 

#2 “I hope you had a nice time tonight.” This is another way to text after a first date without insinuating anything. With this, you’ll also get to feel out how the date went for them. Maybe if they felt a connection you’d want to give a second date a try, but if not you can move on. [Read: 12 reasons to be open and honest with your feelings]

#3 “That restaurant was so good. I’m glad we tried it.” Instead of talking about your lack of connection or confusion, just chat casually. Talk about the food, the bizarre waiter you had or how you already dove into your leftovers.

This keeps things pressure-free. Then, you can keep talking without jumping right into the possibility of a second date.

#4 “How was the rest of your night?” Instead of sending a text right after the first date, wait until the next morning. Sleeping on it could give you a bit more clarity. Plus, you’ll be able to ask them how the rest of their night went, which gives you more ambiguous talking points. [Read: Stop wasting time – the signs they’re not interested in a second date]

#5 “I’m swamped with work this week, but if you want I’ll reach out when things free up?” If you’re still unsure of a second date, let them know your stance sooner rather than later. You don’t want to get their hopes up, but maybe you need some time to think.

With this text, you’re not only giving yourself some time to ponder but you are also leaving the ball in their court. If they aren’t into it, they may respond by letting you know they didn’t feel a spark. Or maybe they’re eager to make another date, which can help you make up your mind.

Texts to send after a first date if you want a second date

That feeling you get when you are leaving a first date that went so much better than you expected is unmatched. There really is nothing like the excitement you get from a great first date.

But, that excitement can quickly turn into anxiety when you’re trying to figure what text to send after a first date to ensure a second date. You don’t want to seem too eager or too nonchalant. So, what do you say?

#1 “I had a great time. We should do it again sometime.” You can’t go wrong by keeping it simple and to the point. Start with something a little more general like this. If they agree, then try to nail down a more specific plan. [Read: How to flirt after the first date and create the right kind of sparks]

#2 “I hope you had as good of a time as I did tonight.” If you don’t want to go straight into asking for a second date, feel it out first. This is a great way to let them know you enjoyed yourself and want to make sure they did too.

#3 “That was the best first date I’ve ever had. Let’s see if we can keep that going with a second date.” This is a more fun and almost competitive way to ask your date out again. Trying to top your great first date can amp up your excitement and theirs.

#4 “Thanks for a great time. Maybe next week we can try that new restaurant you mentioned?” By bringing up something you talked about during the date, you are making things more comfortable and reminding them that you are actively listening. Offer to go somewhere they said they were interested in, like a new bar or museum. This will impress them. It most likely will get you that second date.

#5 “In case I forgot to tell you earlier, you looked great tonight.” Once a date is over, it is nice to know your date is still thinking of you. Sending this text after a first date will let them know you were awed by them. [Read: The complete texting and follow-up guide after a perfect first date]

#6 “Not to be presumptuous, but what should we do for our next date?” This is a great way to show your politeness and confidence all at once. You are making it clear you felt a connection and believe they did as well which can help them feel more secure.

#7 “I don’t want to seem too eager, but I’d love to go out with you again.” When you can’t help but want to ask them out again, it is clear you’re interested. Anyone who doesn’t want to play games will appreciate the honesty.

Instead of playing it cool and waiting days to reach out, letting them know you are already excited to see them again will make them happy. [Read: Strong feelings after a first date? How to read all the right signs]

#8 “Our first date went great, so there’s a pretty good chance if we go out again it’ll only get better. What do you think?” It is great to show your confidence after a first date, but you also want to make sure you are letting your date decide what they want too.

A perfect text to send after a first date is something like this because it is fun and intentional, but also gives them a pressure-free opening to answer honestly. [Read: 18 very obvious signs your date really likes you after the first date]

Texts to send after a first date if you want to end it

When a first date doesn’t go how you expected, it can get awkward. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but you also don’t want to lead them on. Instead of being a major jerk and ghosting, try one of these texts to send after a first date that just wasn’t ideal.

#1 “I had a nice time with you, but I don’t think we clicked. I hope you understand.” Keep it short and sweet and to the point. There is no need to write a novel explaining all the reasons you don’t want to see them again. This shows that you respect them and should be plenty after only one date. [Read: The best guilt-free excuses for how to cut a bad date short]

#2 “Hey, it was great to meet you but I’m just not feeling it. I hope we can stay friends.” If you liked your date just fine but didn’t feel that romantic vibe, offer up a platonic friendship. You don’t have to make plans right away but if you clicked over your love for a TV show, sports team, or fandom, this person could be a good addition to your friend group.

#3 “I don’t know about you but that wasn’t really the best date for me. Good luck with everything.” If you are okay with having a conversation with this person, then this text is a great one after a failed first date. You can get some reassurance that the date wasn’t great for them either and part ways on good terms. [Read: Stop wasting time – 15 signs they’re just not interested in a second date with you]

#4 “Good luck with your future dating adventures. Sorry I just didn’t feel it.” Send them off with well wishes and honesty. Remember, you’re not breaking up with them. You only just met. A simple text like this is perfectly fine after a not so great first date.

#5 “Hey I had a great time getting to know you but didn’t feel a spark. Maybe you’d like to join my friends and me for trivia night?” Once again, if you actually liked the person, just not romantically, let them know you’d like to keep hanging out but in a group setting. Invite them to trivia, your friends’ game night, or something similar.

This will feel less like rejection and more like gaining a friend you have something in common with.

#6 “Hey, you’re really great but I just don’t think we’re a match.” Offer a compliment before letting them down. You can keep it generic like this or be more specific like telling them how funny or stylish they are. Then let them know it just isn’t a good match. [Read: How long should a first date last? Your guide to timing it right]

#7 “Hey, I had a nice time, but I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not interested in pursuing this any further. I hope you understand.” When looking for the right text to send after a first date that wasn’t great, being straight forward is best. Letting them know you just want to move on and be honest right away can seem harsh. But they will appreciate the bluntness, especially if they’ve been ghosted before. [Read: Why you shouldn’t ghost someone and 5 possible situations where it’s okay]

#8 “It was really nice to meet you, but I don’t see this working out. Good luck out there.” A polite yet professional text is ideal to send after a first date. You’re not too comfortable with each other and owe them respect but not much more. Text them the same way you would email someone offering you a job you’re not interested in.

[Read: How to turn down a second date with a non-awkward guide]

Figuring out the perfect texts to send after a first date can be hard depending on how it went. With one of these options, it’ll all be okay.

The post 21 Perfect Texts to Send after a First Date No Matter How It Went is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

40 Best Graduation Congratulations Messages And Wishes

Congratulations Graduate Graduation is a time of life that will never come back and there’s no better way to celebrate it with some good graduation messages and wishes. You feel…

The post 40 Best Graduation Congratulations Messages And Wishes appeared first on Events Greetings.

The Best Deep Conversation Starters to Impress Anyone, Anytime!

Have some deep conversation starters in your chatting armory and impress everyone with your communication skills! You’ve got this.

We’ve all been there. Wracking your brain for deep conversation starters, so your convo doesn’t fall flat.

You meet someone for the first time, or perhaps you’re on a date, and you really can’t think of anything to say. Your mind goes blank. The silence seems to go on forever. You’re willing them to come up with something scintillating to talk about, but they seem to be just as out of ideas as you.

Awkward, right?

I’ve been in this situation more times than I can count. I decided that enough was enough. No more awkward silences, no more wishing someone would walk in and save the situation. What did I do? I came up with a list of deep conversation starters which I could fall back on at any time and boom! Instant deep and meaningful conversation to impress anyone.

[Read: Funny conversation starters – 40 lines to instantly fit right in]

Deep conversation starters to memorize for future chats

Of course, the type of question you ask depends on the person you’re speaking to. If it’s your boss, it’s probably not the best idea to ask them to tell you about their most embarrassing moment; instead, ask them about their goals or something professional. However, if it’s a crush, you can afford to be a little cheeky. Perhaps ask them one of the more searching questions on the list.

Because I’m feeling generous, I’m going to share my list of deep conversation starters with you, so you no longer have to endure another awkward silence again.

You’re welcome!

#1 What are your main goals in life? This is a great go-to for chats with someone in authority, such as a manager or someone you’re really trying to impress on a professional level. You can angle it to show that you want to learn from them, so ask them about their goals professionally and see what advice you can get from it.

You never know, you might find something useful in there that you can emulate. If not, at least the conversation doesn’t run into an iceberg and sink. [Read: How to balance your career, social life, and dating life]

#2 If you died today, what regrets would you have about your life? It might sound depressing to consider death, but it’s definitely one the deep conversation starters that will get a chat going and could easily lead to other questions. Think about your input into the conversation here too – what would your regret be?

Remember that conversations need to be two-way, so it’s a good idea to add your own regrets in and perhaps compare. You’ll certainly get to know the person pretty well over the time it takes to have the chat too. [Read: How to not give a fuck: Your guide to give less fucks and enjoy your life]

#3 If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy? This question can tell you a lot about a person! If they go straight into the long list of material goods they would buy, perhaps that says they’re literally a materialistic person.

However, if they tell you that they would buy their parents a house or a car, or help out someone in their family, that tells you they’re a pretty selfless kind of person. It’s also useful to think about what you would buy, it gives you food for thought! [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

#4 Who is your hero and why? The great thing about this type of question is that it isn’t closed, so there’s no way to just give a one word answer and leave it at that. If they do just say a name and say it’s because they’re cool, then they probably don’t actually want to have a conversation with you!

There’s plenty of scope here for expanding on the answer, so it’s one of the best deep conversation starters you can keep in mind. It also tells you a lot about them once more! [Read: 20 funny get to know you questions to bond with anyone instantly]

#5 What is your biggest fear? They might not actually tell you their true biggest fear, because it’s a little personal and they don’t know you so well, but they can easily come up with something interesting to tell you. It gets the conversation going. Again, add in your own fears and open up a little, expanding the conversation further.

#6 If you could go back to your childhood, what advice would you give your younger self? Ah, this is an interesting one! This is one of those deep conversation starters that gives you a glimpse into the inner psyche of the person you’re speaking to.

It helps you to understand them a little better. It’s also a very good question to ask if you want to keep the conversation going for a little longer, i.e. you have some time to kill! You can add in your ideas, they can comment on them too, etc. It’s a great way to get to know someone. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex]

#7 If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? This is a fun one to think about. It’s likely they’ll say somewhere hot and sunny. But if they give you a one word answer, the instant follow up question for you to ask is “why?”

Deep conversation starters such as this are great for trying to get a particularly shy or quiet person to open up a little. And it uses the imagination which means plenty of scope for a longer chat. [Read: 15 conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]

#8 Describe your perfect day. Again, this is another one which uses deep imagination. Get things started by describing your own perfect day and then encourage them to do the same. Again, all of these deep conversation starters really help you to get to know the person you’re talking to pretty quickly in a way that regular conversation subjects just don’t do. You can also prompt the conversation by asking why they’d do a certain thing and what it would mean to them, etc.

#9 Which celebrity did you love when you were younger? This is a fun one to ask. Most of us have a cringe-worthy celebrity crush to look back on! This is great for asking someone who you want have a lighthearted conversation with, but it also helps you delve a little deeper too, which allows you to get to know them.

The great thing about these deep conversation starters is that they all use imagination and memories. Really, it’s the best way to understand someone at their very core. [Read: How to get to know people, open up and make new friends]

#10 What do you think about …. *news story of the moment*. There is bound to be some topical subject going on when you’re attempting a conversation with someone, there always is.

In that case, just ask them what they think about the latest big news story. It will help you to break into a deeper conversation as a result. Most people have an opinion they’re happy to share, so just ask! [Read: How to get to know yourself and reveal your life’s true passions]

#11 What items are on your bucket list? A little earlier we asked about goals, but this is slightly different. These are the things they would like to do, not the things they’re aiming towards. This one also uses a little imagination. You might hear some rather creative items, such as bungee jumping or maybe skydiving! Perhaps you didn’t know that person had such an adrenaline junkie side to them! [Read: How to be fearless: Set aside fear and live your life]

#12 What is your most cherished memory? Asking about memories is a real conversation starter. It’s a great way to get someone to open up. They’ll probably get a fond look on their face and tell you about something from their childhood, or a date they went on with their partner. It’s a great way to get a real conversation going.

[Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]

These deep conversation starters are easy to memorize. They can be stored in your memory bank for times when you want to get a conversation off the ground!

The post The Best Deep Conversation Starters to Impress Anyone, Anytime! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What Makes Someone a Clingy Friend and How to Help Them Change

It can feel overwhelming when you have a clingy friend, but you can do something about it. In fact, your friendship will be better for it, too.

Just like boyfriends or girlfriends, platonic friends can also be clingy. A clingy friend can put a lot of pressure and stress on your friendship. It can exhaust you mentally, emotionally, and even physically.

Yes, we should always be there for our friends, but when you have a clingy friend, those lines get blurred. No one can be someone’s everything. Your clingy friend cannot expect you to fill every void or fulfill every need. The same way you can’t expect a romantic partner to be everything you need.

When this does happen and a clingy friend gets out of hand, it can be daunting. You don’t want to hurt their feelings or let them down, but you need to put your own mental health and wellness first.

[Read: 15 signs a friend is using you and subtly making you an unhappy person]

What is a clingy friend?

A clingy friend can range from someone who overtexts to someone that manipulates and gaslights you. It can be a friend that guilts you into spending time with them or even tries to sabotage your happiness so you can be miserable together.

A clingy friend is someone that may expect you to answer every text and phone call immediately. They may get jealous if you go out without them or don’t include them in plans.

This person is often very self-conscious and needs a lot of reassurance. Even if they behave like they are confident, it may be an act. Of course, a clingy friend isn’t always malicious or purposeful with their poor behavior. They could be lonely or depressed and in need of human connection and attention.

However, it is not your job to be this person’s rock. You can be there for them as you would any other friend. But, when you have a clingy friend, not only is the relationship often one-sided and unbalanced, but it is also wildly unhealthy and dysfunctional.

[Read: The 13 signs your friend is an energy vampire]

What to do about a clingy friend

I have seen and experienced all sorts of clingy friends. They are all hard to deal with. This person is your friend, after all. You know they are a good person and you may like having them around, but too much of anyone can become a hardship.

How do you let them down easy without hurting their feelings? How can you get a clingy friend to pull back without rejecting them?

This is a very delicate situation. When you aren’t sure why your clingy friend is so needy, you may feel the need to tiptoe around the topic. You may even be prone to fibbing about your plans to avoid them. Not only does this add to any guilt they may be putting on you, but it doesn’t help the overall situation. [Read: Ghosting a friend and the scenarios when it’s okay to do that]

Dealing with a clingy friend requires open communication, patience, and some blunt honesty. And if that isn’t quite specific enough, try these methods to help you deal with a clingy friend.

#1 Don’t ghost or avoid them. This seems like the easy thing to do when you have a clingy friend. You hope if you stop answering their texts and start canceling plans, they’ll figure it out. The thing is, that is super disrespectful and not something any decent friend would do.

Clingy or not, this person is your friend. If you avoid them or ghost them, you are only ensuring that they remain needy and clingy and struggle to find confidence. [Read: 15 non-possessive ways to teach a clingy friend to stop being clingy]

#2 Don’t gossip about them. It can be easy to get annoyed when you have a clingy friend. You feel guilty and overwhelmed. You want to vent, but if you share your feelings in the moment, it can lead to gossip that can get back to them and make things worse.

Instead of talking to others about your clingy friend, talk to them.

#3 Talk to them about their life. When you hang out or talk, what do you talk about? Do you talk about random things? Do you talk about your life? Are they intrigued by everything you do like they’re living vicariously through you?

Talk to them about what is going on with them. Ask about their life. Maybe they are clingy because of their fear of rejection or a lack of attention at home. You never know what’s going on with a clingy friend. [Read: 15 types of toxic friends that make you miserable and drag you down]

#4 Are they adding to your life? It can suck to end a friendship, especially when you feel like they need you, but you must put your happiness first. If this friend isn’t adding to your life regardless of their clinginess, it may be time to rethink the friendship.

Is this someone you want to sort things out with or distance yourself from? [Read: Do you have a toxic friend who bring unhappiness to your life?]

#5 When was the last time you enjoyed your time together? Maybe your clingy friend is a bother when you’re at work or with your significant other, but when you’re with them, do you have a good time? Is there still a healthy foundation for your friendship?

If so, you can get back to that in time. If not, you may want to think about whether this friendship is worth it. If hanging out with your clingy friend feels one-sided or like they are guilting or manipulating you, it has crossed a line.

#6 Don’t give in to the guilt. Learn to say no when needed. If you are with your family or other friends, you don’t need to leave to give your clingy friend your undivided attention. When you are with them, you can focus on them, but don’t let them control your thoughts or behavior when they’re not around. A decent friend will want you to have a full and well-rounded life, not one that revolves around them. [Read: 15 signs of a bad friend to always be on the lookout for]

#7 Let them know how you feel. Talk to your clingy friend about how their behavior is making you feel. Don’t accuse them of anything. Instead, use I-messages.

Say something like, “I feel guilty when you text me all day and I don’t have the time to respond,” or “I feel worried when you seem to need me all the time, is something going on?” Don’t make them feel bad for their behavior, just help them be aware of it and how it makes you feel.

Let them know you’re there for them if they need to talk about something. But you have other friends and obligations that also need your attention. [Read: 17 bad friend you must unfriend from your life]

#8 Ask them if there is something they need to talk about. Once you let them know how you feel about their behavior, ask them about why they think they are being such a clingy friend. You may not be a therapist, but you might be able to help your friend work through whatever is causing their behavior.

#9 Set boundaries. Make it clear to your clingy friend that you want to remain friends and be in their life. They should understand that you have other people in your life that also need your time and attention.  Make plans and stick to them, but you don’t have to text at all hours. [Read: Helpful tips for setting boundaries with difficult people in your life]

#10 Check in. Make sure you are checking in and being there for your friend as you would with anyone else. See how things are going for them. Are they making other friends or dating? Are they working on their confidence or enjoying their time alone?

[Read: Do you have broken bird syndrome? How to be empathetic with boundaries]

Figuring out how to deal with a clingy friend can be hard to balance. You want to be there for them but also need your space. The good thing is, you can have both if you use these tips.

The post What Makes Someone a Clingy Friend and How to Help Them Change is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The COVID-19 Effect: Do We Need to Rethink Pickup and Seduction?

Has COVID-19 become an overarching seduction wildcard, disallowing your tried-and-true pickup routines? It certainly has for me. But it’s not all bad. Here’s why.

Contents

I. Do We Need to Rethink Anything?

1. What If We Never Go Back to Normal?
2. What If It Takes Forever?

II. No Ideal Situation

1. Think, Not “Rethink”
2. Invent, Not “Reinvent”

III. Conclusion

Here in Europe, as in many countries, there’s talk about “rethinking” and “reinventing” ways to socialize. I get chills EVERY TIME I hear this. It activates a deep fear that I may lose everything I love so much, like enjoying a night out, banging chicks at parties, and going on dates in bars.

The thought is terrifying.

I question a lot these days why the authorities and media say this. I am nearing the end of lockdown in my country. People are partying on the weekends (sadly, clubs are still closed). They hang out in restaurants and bars, doing all the usual things again. So, I question the "need for rethinking our social life" rhetoric. Things are getting slowly getting back to normal, although it took a bit longer than anticipated. So what is all this rhetoric for? To scare us? To calm us down? For marketing? I honestly do not know.

But I know that you cannot reinvent “social.” The “social” is about meeting people face-to-face. Skyping is social, so are group chats on various platforms, but they are not social in the strict sense. They are like “social light.”

Humans, even hardcore introverts, are social beings. We need to see people, interact, mingle, laugh, dance, and play. It is part of human nature. Biologists know it, sociologists know it even better, and psychologists think they know it.

First and foremost, there is likely no need to rethink ways to socialize (as the crisis will end eventually), and it is impossible to rethink socialization.

This is what I’ll discuss here. I’ll share my perspectives, and then review some strategies for tackling socialization in the age of COVID-19.

Cousin’s Day Wishes, Messages and Quotes

Cousin’s Day Wishes : ‘Cousin’ the word itself is as sweet as the bond between cousins. Cousins are the second... More

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Seductive Body Language and Mannerisms That Attract Women

Your body language says loads about you. These seductive mannerisms let women know instinctively that you’re a cool, sexy guy – who’s probably good in bed, too.

Contents

1. Eye Contact
2. Open Your Shoulders
3. Raise Your Hands
4. Adopt a Casual Stance
5. Cradle Your Hips
6. Lead with Your Hips
7. Elegant Hand Gestures
8. Drop Your Cheeks
9. Slow, Deep Breaths
10. Warm, Deep Voice
11. Rub to Release Heat
12. Pause, Blink, and Turn
13. The “Flick”

To become better with women, you need consistent behaviors. If your behaviors are always insular (meaning you only interact with a few people), her read of you will be different than if you are open and can talk smoothly with everyone.

Consistent behaviors serve as the bedrock upon which a woman sets her level of comfort with you. It helps set up everything else you do with your technique, social proof, or verbalizations.

Some behaviors are obvious, but others are harder to piece together when you are just starting. I want to describe several behaviors you want to embody, so you’ll have an idea of what to work on and why girls’ reactions will change — in your favor.

Best Flirty Text Messages for Him

Flirty Text Messages for Him : Flirting plays a vital role in a relationship. Whether you are already in a... More

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How to Talk Dirty During Sex: Ease Into It Without Feeling Awkward

Never dirty talked? There’s nothing to be scared of. These tips will help you know exactly how to talk dirty during sex and turn the heat up in bed.

When you hear the phrase, dirty talk, especially as a beginner, it’s kind of an overwhelming idea. Oh god, how to talk dirty during sex? Won’t I sound like a complete fool? These are thoughts we all have when we first start talking dirty.

Most of us think dirty talk needs to be complex phrases and words, but it’s really not that complicated.

Basically, dirty talk is describing sex in a simple and forward way. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. Now, I know it’s easier said than done. But once you get past the initial fear and possible awkwardness, the words will come flying out of your mouth.

You’ll become a dirty talk pro in no time. Really, it doesn’t take much for you to get the hang of it. So, all you must do is relax and don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

[Read: The 25 sexiest dirty talk lines to make anyone horny with your words]

How to talk dirty during sex

Whatever you hear on Pornhub isn’t realistic or natural, so don’t think you need to sound like an awkward and dramatic porn star. The thing about dirty talk is what makes it good is when the words come naturally from you.

So, don’t force yourself to say something that you normally wouldn’t. Do what feels comfortable for you. Okay, ready? Let’s get to it because we all have a little dirty in us. [Read: 20+ beginner dirty talk lines and examples to get in the mood]

#1 Keep it simple. You’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here; it’s already here. What makes dirty talk good is its simplicity. Remove all the porn phrases you’ve heard throughout your life, and focus on simple phrases.

Essentially, you’re verbalizing sex with dirty talk. So, while having sex or foreplay, think about what’s feeling good. For example, if your partner is a good kisser, let them know. Say, “your lips are making me hard/wet.” [Read: 15 dirty things to say and do in bed that are effortless]

#2 Talk to your partner. Does your partner even enjoy dirty talk? Everyone is different. Some people enjoy specific types of dirty talk, others aren’t into it, and some are indifferent. So, before you start using dirty talk, ask your partner if it’s something they’d like to hear during sex. Ask them what their boundaries are, and what they don’t like in dirty talk. 

#3 Say what feels comfortable for you. When it comes to knowing how to talk dirty during sex, you’re the one saying these words, and they need to feel comfortable for you. Sure, your partner may have more experience with dirty talk, but that doesn’t mean you need to rush to their level.

Take it easy on yourself and start with simple phrases. They’re the most effective ones anyways, so it’s a win-win. [Read: How to initiate sex – 16 moves to take the lead in bed]

#4 If you want to use vulgar language, you can. But it’s not a necessity. Everyone is different, and this also includes your partner. This is where you should find the happy medium. You may enjoy using vulgar language, but your partner may not like being called names, for example. This is where communication plays an important role.

#5 No, you don’t need to talk the whole time. Here’s the thing, dirty talk doesn’t mean you need to constantly be talking with your partner during sex. It’s like adding spice to a dish. A couple of dashes here and there, but you’re not pouring it on the entire time your dish is cooking. Do you get what I mean? When you feel you want to express yourself, then do it. [Read: A guide to talking dirty and turning your lover on like no one can]

#6 Dirty talk can be instructional. Don’t underestimate dirty talk. Yes, it can be used to describe your sexual satisfaction and to build up tension, but it can also be used to give instructions.

Instead of telling your partner, “I don’t like the way you eat me out,” dirty talk can be used to direct your partner without putting them down. You can also direct them before sex. For example, “When I come home, I want to see you naked on the bed…”

#7 Dirty talk isn’t just for the bedroom. You don’t need to save dirty talk just for the bedroom. Instead, you can use it during foreplay and send naughty texts to your partner in the morning or while they’re at work. Don’t assume that dirty talk is only during sex. [Read: 20 sexy text messages to start a naughty conversation]

#8 Dirty talk doesn’t need to be R-rated. Thanks to porn, everyone thinks dirty talk needs to be hardcore, but it’s not the case. Sure, some people like dirty dirty talk, but you need to read your partner. Using vulgar words on someone who isn’t turned on from it isn’t what you want to happen. Saying, “You taste so good” or “I love your body,” is also dirty talk. [Read: How to use sexy talk with your love in ways that makes them melt with desire] 

#9 Discover trigger words. Your partner probably has a favorite part of their own body, and sexual activities they prefer over others. You can use this knowledge in dirty talk. With time, you’ll notice what seems to arouse them the most, then you know what you focus on. 

#10 If your partner didn’t like what you said, talk about it. Naturally, you’re going to probably test out words and phrases, seeing which ones turn you and your partner on the most. This means there is a chance you may say something that doesn’t jive well with your partner. It happens. But when it does happen, talk about it. [Read: How to talk dirty to a girl without annoying her or turning her off]

#11 If you feel pressured, don’t do it. If you’re not feeling comfortable with talking dirty to your partner, you don’t need to. You should never do anything sexual that makes you feel pressured. If you choose to incorporate this into your sex life, that’s your decision.

#12 Always check in with each other after. After every sexual experience, whether you used dirty talk or not, create a routine with your partner and check in with them. Maybe they would like to try to use dirty talk next time, or maybe they don’t enjoy some of the things you say. Whatever the case, you should communicate with them. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]

#13 It’s not a competition. Maybe your friends have told you about their sexual experiences, and this makes you want to push yourself more in the bedroom, but sex isn’t a competition. This is your sexual journey, and you need to do what you’re comfortable with.

[Read: How to become sexually active and enjoy the experience when it’s time]

Now you know how to talk dirty during sex. All you have to do is put it to practice and try it out with your partner. Just remember: practice makes perfect!

The post How to Talk Dirty During Sex: Ease Into It Without Feeling Awkward is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What to Talk About With a Guy Over Text: 15 Tips to Hook Any Guy

You’re not sure what to talk about with a guy over text, but you’re really interested in him. Instead of silence, let’s give you something to talk about.

You’ve managed to exchange numbers with the guy you like. This is a pretty big move if you ask me. But you just can’t have his number in your phone; you need to use it! Why else would you have his number; it’s not doing you any good unless you use it. If you’re wondering what to talk about with a guy over text, let’s start from the basics.

So, this is when you two need to start texting each other. If you’re someone who’s a good communicator, this isn’t a problem for you. But even good communicators have their moments when they get nervous and can’t text the person they like. We’re only human; sometimes our minds go completely blank.

[Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]

I remember hitting it off really well when I met this one guy at a party. Our conversations on text messages were amazing. Then he asked me out on a date, and I agreed to see him. But on the date, I was completely silent. I was a nervous wreck. I let my insecurities get the best of me, and I ended up maybe saying one or two words.

So these things happen, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. But, of course, I know you want to avoid any awkwardness from happening. You’re wondering what to talk about with a guy over text, and I don’t blame you.

[Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]

What to talk about with a guy over text – 15 conversation ideas that’ll hook a guy

Here are some topics to help you ease your nerves the next time you chat with a guy. Let’s get texting.

#1 Go simple. You don’t need to bring up a philosophical topic over text. Keep your topics simple; you’re not here to reinvent the wheel.

Maybe you’re watching a rerun of Friends. If that’s the case, you can text him asking if he’s watched Friends before or if he’s seen the episode you’re watching. If he likes the show, you two already have one thing in common to talk about.

#2 Make sure you like the topic. You don’t need to talk about hockey if you don’t like hockey. I know you may want to impress him, but you need to stay true to yourself. If you’re not interested in sports, asking him about baseball isn’t going to be of interest to you. You don’t need to like everything he likes. Bring up a topic that you are interested in, and the conversation will flow smoothly. [Read: What to text a guy to get his attention – 25 examples that work like magic]

#3 Avoid one-worded texts. If you’re wondering what to talk about with a guy over text, make sure you use more than one word. You want a conversation with him, right? So, whatever the topic is about, you’ll need to put in a little more effort than just saying, “yeah” or “lol.” One worded texts are going to lead to one-worded answers, and it’ll kill the conversation.

#4 Talk about your current situation. Maybe you’re bored at work, or you’re waiting in line to go to a concert. You can use your current situation to start a conversation with this guy. Maybe he also likes the performer you’re going to see. If you’re going away for the weekend, maybe he’s visited the same destination and can recommend something to you. [Read: Texts to send a guy that’ll keep him interested and eager for more]

#5 Food! You’d be surprised how much people love food. Most of us are foodies at heart. If you’re cooking something tasty or trying the latest food trend, bring it up with him via text.

You can even send a picture along with it. This may start a conversation about which restaurants you both love, and who knows, maybe he’ll ask you to go to one of them with him.

#6 Use memes. Sometimes, you don’t need to text them a witty line or a question. Sometimes all you need is a good meme. The internet has basically become one giant meme database, and it’s now you’re chance to use it to chat with the guy you like. If you come across your favorite meme, send it to him and see his reaction. [Read: 14 ballsy but awesome ways to text a guy first and make the first move]

#7 Pets. If he’s an animal lover, then he’ll make sure to talk to you about his dog/cat. And if you’re an animal lover, that’s even better. Maybe you two both love animals. So, ask him if he has any pets or would like to have a pet. If he loves dogs but doesn’t have one, maybe he can walk your dog with you sometime.

#8 Suggest hanging out. You don’t need to make it a formal invitation or a date. If you’re just getting to know each other, keep it light. Text him and see if he’s interested in seeing a movie this weekend or doing something fun. Plan it together over text and then hang out. It’s a good way to take the next step past texting. [Read: 15 ways to ask a guy out over text and get the answer you want]

#9 Follow up about something the guy told you. Maybe his mom is struggling with an illness, or his brother broke his arm. A good way to show you care is by checking on them and following up with them about what happened. It also shows him that you’re supportive and you care. You don’t need to do this for everything, but for bigger events, you can.

#10 Hobbies. While texting him, you also want to see what you two have in common and what he enjoys to do. Ask him what his hobbies are and see if you two share any. Maybe you’re interested in trying out one of his hobbies and vice versa. It’ll help you get to know more about each other.

#11 Trending events. Something is happening in your city or country that is a hot topic right now. For sure, he has an opinion. Use these situations to your advantage to discuss things with him. Of course, if it’s very serious, I would refrain from bringing it up. But if it’s about your school or a festival in your city, talk about it with him. [Read: 20 good questions to ask a guy and find out who he really is]

#12 Give him a compliment. Maybe you saw him play at a basketball tournament or went to the gallery where his art is showing. Send him a text that compliments him.

Getting a genuine compliment is never overrated, and everyone loves them. You shouldn’t do this all the time, only when you really feel it. You can use the compliment to enter into a conversation. [Read: 25 unique compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]

#13 Movies and television. This is a huge topic that we all know something about. Talk to him about a recent movie you’ve seen and whether you recommend it or not. Or even about a movie you want to see. Do you see where I’m going with this? Maybe he’ll ask if you want to come over and watch it with him or go to the cinema.

#14 Don’t overthink your message. When you’re trying to figure out what to talk about with a guy over text, just take a deep breath and relax! You’re not trying to save the world; you just want to have a conversation with the guy you like.

So, the best way to do this is by not overthinking your message. Whatever you want to send that feels good to you at that time, just send it. There’s no point spending hours trying to figure out what you want to say. Just say what’s on your mind. [Read: How to attract men in a way they can’t resist – A full guide]

#15 You can always talk on the phone. I know no one likes talking on the phone anymore, but it’s much more intimate than texting each other. It’s a bold move to make, but it cuts out a lot of wait time. If the topic is getting serious or there was a miscommunication, make sure to call them and straighten it out.

[Read: What guys look for in girls – 13 things that always catches a guy’s eyes]

Chatting with someone you like over text can be nerve wracking, but if you use these tips on what to talk about with a guy over text, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy the conversation.

The post What to Talk About With a Guy Over Text: 15 Tips to Hook Any Guy is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

5-Minute Lays: How to Use Fast Escalation State to Make Rapid Pulls

Editor's Note: please welcome our newest contributor, XANDER PAPATONIS, a long-time member of the GC forum and a lone wolf who enjoys the fruits of nightlife and the social arts. He is a lover of surfing through social circles and venues... only to go rogue and steal women away for the evening. Here he shares his strategy for making crazy-fast pulls with wet-and-ready girls.

Sometimes you meet a girl who has been cooking in a sexpot all night and is primed for cock. She’s just looking for a cool guy to supply it. Here’s how to be that guy.

Contents

I. Fast Escalation State

II. Pulling “Primed” Girls

1. Approaching
2. Logistics and Transitions

III. Keep It High Arousal

1. Hook Her with a Makeout
2. Don’t Plummet

IV. Alcohol Is an Important Caveat

V. Conclusion

Women’s arousal is like a crockpot, and men’s is like a microwave.

A microwave is fast and prepares meals quickly. You pop your meal in, it gets zapped, and voilà! Your sausage is ready! The man puts himself under the right stimulus and boom — ready to go.

A crockpot, however, cooks its meals low and slow but stays at a warmer temperature for a longer time. It slowly becomes steamy and simmers all the ingredients until finally, dinner is prepared. Experienced foodies know that even when the food looks about ready, that last 5% is still needed before you can enjoy your cuisine.

When most men stumble upon a sexual prospect, they can ready themselves in a jiffy. If they have the know-how to recognize sexual indicators, or in the extreme example of an aggressive woman who throws herself at a man, their dick does most of the thinking. Boners are “popped,” my friends. It doesn’t take long.

Women, on the other hand, usually require a bit more. Typically, it’s a combination of factors that allow them to come into their sexual state. Screening, keeping their reputation good among friends, and having fat girls who they go out with are all roadblocks down arousal lane in the mind of a woman.

That said, sometimes you’ll stumble into a kitchen and the crockpot’s already been cooking. The food’s almost done. That is, you’ll stumble upon a woman, and she’s already super horny.

Does Everyone Get Sexually Attracted to Someone Else: Is It Normal?

If you’re sexually attracted to someone else, does that mean you’ve already cheated in your head? Is it normal? Is everyone doing it? So many questions!

Does getting sexually attracted to someone else mean you’re about to cheat, or that you’ve already cheated in your head? Do you believe it’s possible to be attracted to more than one person at a time?

I do. I mean, I’m all about Johnny Depp but I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to Ryan Reynolds, so that proves it’s possible!

In reality however, what would you do if you were in a relationship with someone and then you suddenly started to feel sexually attracted to someone else? Would you panic? Would you act on the attraction? Or, would you feel guilty and worry that you were cheating in your own head?

Thankfully, the truth behind the entire subject is rather less worrisome than you might think.

[Read: How to handle a crush when you’re in a relationship with someone]

Why is it normal to be sexually attracted to someone else?

The basic answer? Because you’re human!

It’s completely possible to be sexually attracted to several people. There is some debate about whether it’s possible to love more than one person at any one time, but in terms of being sexually attracted to more than one, totally possible and actually very common.

It’s just not normal to only ever feel sexual attraction for one person for the rest of your life. It’s not possible. It doesn’t mean that you’re cheating on your partner if you happen to look at someone else briefly and think “oooh!” You’re acting on your physical desires here, not your emotional ones.

The situation can become complicated if you’re at work and you feel sexually attracted to someone else who works there. That means you’re going to have to spend a considerable amount of time around them. In that case, you need to try and find a way to quash your sexual attraction or simply keep a lid on it. [Read: 15 signs to recognize sexual tension and work and ways to break it for good]

Of course, you have a choice over what to do if you feel all hot under the collar whenever you see or think about a particular person. Sure, it’s normal to feel sexually attracted to someone else, but it’s not normal or fair to act upon that attraction by initiating extra contact with that person or actually going through with having sex with them. In that case, yes, you’re cheating and yes, you’re out of order.

If you dream of the other person when you’re in bed with your partner, picturing their face instead of the person you’re supposed to be with, you might have a problem and you need to get to the bottom of why you feel this way.

However, if you simply have the stirrings of lust whenever you look at a specific person, as long as you keep it in your head and don’t allow it to overwhelm you, it’s all good. [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? How to know exactly!]

Why do we feel sexual attraction towards others if we’re in love with someone?

Because love and sexual attraction are two totally different things.

You can feel love and lust for the same person, and you can also feel lust towards another person, be it a celebrity or someone you see at the coffee shop on the way to work every morning. It’s chemicals, it’s biological, it’s not emotional.

Of course, there are a few other deeper reasons why you might be sexually attracted to someone else, or maybe even more than one person. [Read: The science of attraction and 17 aspects that go way beyond appearance]

The most common one is that if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s normal for your sex life to become a little less exciting than it used to be. It takes effort to keep things hot in the bedroom, and life often gets in the way. If this goes on for a longer period of time, it can lead you towards dreaming about the things you wish you could do with your partner and maybe even starting to feel like you’re lacking something. In that case, being sexually attracted to someone else can be extremely easy.

However, you have to appreciate in this case that you might not be feeling attraction towards the person, you’re probably just longing for the excitement and thrill you get when you meet someone and start a new sexual adventure. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

What should you do? Pile this new attraction into your current relationship and look for ways to spice up your love life! The chances are that by doing this, the sexual attraction you feel for the other person will dissipate, because you’re fulfilled at home.

How to avoid your attraction your boiling over

If you’re in a happy and committed relationship, or even if you’re in a relationship that simply needs a little work, it’s vital that you keep things under control. Sure, it’s normal to feel sexually attracted to someone else, either innocently or otherwise, but it’s not normal or even acceptable to do something about that attraction.

There is another person involved in this situation, one who is complete oblivious to what is going and completely blame-free. By acting on your attraction, you’re hurting someone else, and that’s never cool. [Read: Micro-cheating – What it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]

Instead, it’s better to examine in your own mind why you might be feeling this way. If it’s a harmless little bit of attraction simply because someone you see at the bus stop is super-hot, that’s fine, let it go or simply enjoy the fantasy in your head for a while until it disappears.

If you feel that you’re experiencing this attraction because your current relationship has become a little stale, dedicate time and attention towards spicing things up and making things right. The chances are that you’ll start a new and rather hot chapter in your relationship but if it doesn’t work, it will give you the signs you need to think about where to go from here. [Read: 12 signs of indifference in a relationship that predict a real drift]

Of course, perhaps you should simply be open to accepting that being sexually attracted to someone else is part and parcel of being human. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for feeling the stirrings of passion towards someone you see occasionally and who simply does something for you. It doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.

It’s also important, although slightly more painful, to accept that your partner might also find themselves feeling this way about other people occasionally too.

It’s a normal human trait to feel this way from time to time, but if both of you can focus on your relationship and see everything else as fleeting, you have a great chance of your relationship not only working, but growing as a result. [Read: 20 sexual problems in a relationship you can easily avoid]

Use this as a catalyst towards better things in your current relationship and don’t get too hung up on why you feel the way you do. However, if you think that your actions are starting to veer out of control, ask yourself one very important question – how would you feel if your partner was doing the same thing? If you’d be fine with it, carry on; however, if you’d be upset or angry, it’s time to stop and question why you’re doing the things you’re doing. [Read: What it means when you think of someone other than your partner]

The reassuring thing is that most sexual attractions of this kind tend to fizzle out after a while.

Either you right things in your relationship and you’re not lacking anymore, or you see a side of the person you’ve been attracted to that you don’t like *maybe you catch them picking their nose and the attraction is totally over for you*, but either way, you’re likely to look back and wonder what all the fuss was about at some stage.

[Read: 15 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a partner!]

Being sexually attracted to someone else is far more common than you might think and most of the time, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s normal to be sexually attracted to more than one person, but there is a difference between simply experiencing the attraction and acting upon it!

The post Does Everyone Get Sexually Attracted to Someone Else: Is It Normal? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The 9 Big Emotional Needs in a Relationship that Hold It Together

All relationships are not created equal, but for most couples, there are some basic emotional needs in a relationship that need to be met for it to prosper.

All romantic and even non-romantic relationships are built on emotions. When these emotional needs in a relationship are met, you feel a connection with someone and that grows to develop into a relationship.

From there, those emotions grow from like to love and to trust. These things then become a part of your daily life. You respect each other and listen to each other and those things are needed for you to be happy together.

When you or your partner are incapable of meeting those emotional needs in a relationship, things can go south very fast. Distrust, resentment, and disrespect are just some of the things that can arise when a couples’ emotional needs aren’t met.

[Read: How to know when a relationship isn’t working – 15 things that make it fall apart]

What are emotional needs in a relationship?

Emotional needs differ for everyone. What some people need, others may not and vice versa. Emotional needs in a relationship are not just things you need from your partner, but what you give each other.

These are not just things like trust, respect, and communication. They are not things you want, like your partner to be home for dinner every night.

Emotional needs are essential requirements for you in order to feel fulfilled and satisfied with your relationship. And these will be different for everyone.

For someone that is confident in their self-esteem, they may not need reassurance in a relationship but rather independence and trust. Someone who does struggle with trust issues though, might need verbal reassurance and appreciation. [Read: 12 healthy relationship expectations that define a good love life]

For instance, I couldn’t be happy in a relationship without feeling safe with my partner. My #1 emotional need is safety and security when we are together. I need to know I can have a panic attack or get sick and still have them be there for me. ??These emotional needs are often created from past relationships or even childhood. I have been left when showing an ex what my anxiety can be like, so in order to feel secure in a relationship I need to know I can have those moments and still rely on my partner.

If you were abandoned by a parent at a young age, one of your emotional needs may be independence. You may need a relationship that thrives when you’re together but doesn’t let your entire life and self-worth depend on your partner.

Emotional needs in a relationship are what keep both partners happy together, even if each individual partner has their own unique needs.

[Read: The 25 must-follow relationship rules to ensure both partners are happy]

The most important emotional needs in a relationship

Some people put a lot of pressure on their relationship to meet all of their emotional needs. The thing is, all of our emotional needs cannot be met by one person. That is why we have family and friends and jobs outside of our relationships.

These relationships offer us accomplishment, loyalty, and pride separate from our romantic relationships. But, when you are in a relationship, certain emotional needs do need to be met in order for that relationship to add to your life instead of draining it. [Read: Are you codependent? 14 signs you depend on your partner way more than you should]

Although these may not be true for every person and every couple, these are some of the most important one, and are common emotional needs in a relationship.

#1 Trust. Every relationship requires trust to function healthily. Trust is not something that just happens in a relationship. It needs to be nurtured and taken care of. Trust is an emotional need because without it both partners can feel resentful, jealous, skeptical, and suspicious.

These things lead a relationship to become stressful rather than a means to deal with outside stress.

#2 Comfort. Comfort in a relationship is similar to security or safety. In most relationships, or I should say, healthy relationships, both partners need to be able to be themselves in order to be fulfilled.

Emotional needs like comfort come with time. You should be able to relax and turn off around your partner without fear of judgment. [Read: What does a healthy relationship look like? A guide to build one]

#3 Power. I know that power is an iffy word when it comes to relationships. People talk about who has the most power, but when I say power, I mean a balance of it. The emotional need of power means you feel you have a say in decisions.

Most people need to feel that their opinion matters and that they have some control over what they do together. Without that, relationships can easily become one-sided and dysfunctional.

#4 Intimacy. Of course, all relationships are different, but a certain level of intimacy comes with all of them. Whether it means cuddling on the sofa, having sex, or just sharing a hug, this is something most romantic relationships need, to last.

When you see an elderly couple that has been together for 50+ years still flirting and holding hands, that is intimacy. When you crawl out of bed in the morning and your boyfriend pulls you back just for one more kiss, that is intimacy. These are the things that keep the spark alive. [Read: 13 weird but unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]

#5 Attention. As humans, we all seek attention. Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, we all seek attention, especially in a romantic relationship. You want to know that your partner is giving you undivided attention. This shows that they care about you and are making you a priority.

Without attention, the emotional needs in a relationship can become overwhelmed by external things like work, friends, and stress.

#6 Privacy. Even with trust and transparency, an emotional need of most relationships is privacy. In most cases, you cannot have privacy without trust and vice versa. The thing about trust is that it isn’t all about communication but it thrives on faith.

Privacy is a part of independence and individuality in a relationship and you need privacy for that. [Read: 18 bad habits that’ll make your partner want to leave you]

#7 Companionship. Yes, even romantic relationships require companionship. It isn’t all about passion and sparks. A lot of relationships are built on shared and enjoyed company. Even with intimacy and comfort, companionship is a human need we all crave.

You want to have human interaction whether it is deep insightful conversations, crude jokes, or silently sitting together watching TV. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]

#8 Commitment. Commitment means something different to everyone. Some commit while keeping things open and others believe in monogamy. There is no wrong way to commit, but commitment is usually something all relationships need.

It can be considered an obligation but mostly, commitment is an equal level of agreed-upon dedication to each other. Commitment is an emotional need in a relationship, and without it, most couples are not on the same page.

#9 Value. Knowing you matter to your partner is so vital. You know how you feel about them, but it is an emotional need in a relationship to understand your value. You have to know your place is important to them.

This can be offered with a simple thank you for some and others need more. Most of us need to know our partner appreciates us for what we do and that we are there. Without that, we are stuck in relationship limbo.

[Read: The 25 sweetest gestures you can use in your everyday life]

These emotional needs in a relationship are vital to the health and happiness of everyone involved. If you can make sure these 9 fundamentals are met and prioritized, a relationship can be an unending source of joy.

The post The 9 Big Emotional Needs in a Relationship that Hold It Together is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Culture Shock

This gambit is designed to shock cultural frames that may be holding a girl back from opening up sexually. Why can’t the ‘normal of there’ be the ‘normal of here’?

Contents

I. Context Is Crucial

II. Creating the Right Context

III. The Shock of Foreign Cultures

IV. Where Should You Use This Gambit?

For a lot of guys, creating a sexual frame with a girl feels like a real challenge.

The advantages are clear if you have been reading Girls Chase for a while because frame control is the most important tool in seduction. Using your conversation skills to get girls thinking about sex (and having sex with you) will send you racing down the path toward dating success.

You might be wondering how to make sure your frame control tactics get you the results you want and not backfire. Maybe you have asked yourself, “How should I introduce sexual frames in a conversation?” Or, “Which ones should I set first?”

These are very important questions to consider. However, the confusion surrounding these critical questions is precisely what causes the difficulties many guys who want to use this tool face.

By the time you’ve finished reading this article, you will have straightforward answers for each question, and a deeper intuitive understanding of how to use frame control to get fast sex. And if you’ve been looking for opportunities to pick up the pace in your journey to become a skilled seducer, the effective gambit we will be discussing today can help you hit the ground running.

How to Read the Subtle Signs a Guy is Turned On While Kissing You

You’ve been kissing for a while; is he enjoying it or just doing it to pass the time? Use these signs a guy is turned on while kissing to find the truth.

This is a common question that goes through many of our minds when we’re making out with the guy we like: what are the signs a guy is turned on while kissing you? So is he actually turned on while kissing him? Or, is this just whatever for him?

It’s a good question.

Of course, you want him to feel the same as you feel, and you want him to be turned on by everything you do with him. The good thing is when it comes to men; it’s not too hard to see whether they’re turned on or not. Sometimes, it’s as easy as looking down at their pants. *no, I’m not joking!*

[Read: How to tell if a guy has a boner and is hot and bothered by you]

If you’re unsure whether a guy is turned on while you two are kissing, you need to look at the signs. Of course, not all men are the same, and some may be more shy or nervous when kissing a girl, so these signs won’t show up right away. And that still doesn’t mean he’s not turned on by you.

The 11 most obvious yet subtle signs a guy is turned on while kissing you

It can be nerve-wracking to kiss a girl he really likes, and even if turned on, it can affect his ability to get turned on. These things can take some time. But, for the most part, these are the most common signs men will show when they’re turned on while kissing.

Is he enjoying it as much as you are?

[Read: How to kiss a guy for the first time and leave him hot and horny]

#1 You feel it. You’re human; he’s human. You can feel the energy, just like he can. If you’re kissing him and there’s this surge of sexual energy and excitement, most likely, he’s feeling the same way. If you two are kissing and you’re more turned on by what’s happening on the television screen, then there’s a problem. Listen to what your body is telling you.

#2 He keeps kissing you. If someone isn’t liking what they’re doing, they’ll try their hardest to stop continuing. If he isn’t into kissing you, he probably won’t keep kissing you. Well, at least I hope he’ll stop. Not trying to offend you, but having him keep kissing you is only making things more complicated.

#3 He tells you he’s into it. If he pulls away for a moment and says, “ wow, you’re an amazing kisser,” or “you have unbelievable lips,” that’s one of the pretty good signs a guy is turned on while kissing you! No one is going to tell you that they enjoy your lips unless they’re actually into kissing you. If he tells you he enjoys kissing you; then it’s clear where he stands. [Read: How to know if a kiss meant something real and isn’t just a fling thing]

#4 Things become more intense. You two started out with innocent kisses, but now things are becoming more intense. It’s turned into french kissing, the breathing has gone heavier, and the energy between you two is more passionate than before. It’s clear that whatever you’re doing is hitting the spot for him.

#5 There’s some hand action. You two aren’t just kissing; there’s much more going on. His hands aren’t by his side like a robot. He’s holding your face, rubbing your cheeks, holding your waist. His lips aren’t the only part of his body that’s working. He’s fully engaged, and that’s a sign that he’s turned on. [Read: 16 clues to recognize a guy who’s insanely aroused]

#6 He’s making noises. I know that sounds weird, but I’m not saying that he should be screaming with delight. If anything, that’s a little excessive. But, when a guy is turned on, he’ll be making moaning or grunting *not extreme* noises, because, well, he’s getting into whatever you’re doing to him. The man is getting turned on!

#7 He may cover his crotch. Not every guy is comfortable with showing they have a boner. If this is the first kiss, he may not want to show off his sexual feelings for you. Every guy is different. If you notice he’s covering his crotch or adjusting himself, he’s trying to keep things under control. [Read: How to give a guy a boner – 20 moves for instant erections]

#8 He gives you the look. It’s hard to describe what I mean when I say the look. But when you see the look, you’ll know exactly what I mean. He may pull back for a moment and stare at you, giving you this look that says, “I want to eat you up right now.” And if that’s what you see in his eyes, that’s what he’s feeling inside.

#9 He’s into foreplay. You two have been making out for a while, and he’s not interested in stopping things. He’s not rushing to jump to the next thing; instead, he’s slowing things down and enjoying this part of foreplay with you. Just because he’s not jumping to the next step, doesn’t mean he isn’t turned on. If anything, it can mean the opposite.

#10 He has a boner. If, at some point in the make-out session, you feel or see he has a boner, it’s quite clear what’s going on. The guy is physically turned on by you. If he wasn’t into kissing you, he wouldn’t continue kissing you, and he definitely wouldn’t have a boner. In other words, boner = a turned on man. [Read: 12 sensual movies to turn a guy on while kissing him]

#11 He wants to do more than a kiss. He may try to move past the make-out session, and take things a step further. You, of course, need to decide if that’s something you’re ready for or not. If things are becoming more intense, he takes off his/your shirt, for example, or takes off his pants; he’s clearly turned on and is looking to take things further.

[Read: 11 signs of a bad kisser and 15 instant remedies to fix it]

In most cases, you’ll notice many of these signs a guy is turned on while kissing you when you’re both locked in a steamy embrace. But there may be the chance where he’s not. Don’t let that be a reflection of you. Not everyone is meant to be a match.

The post How to Read the Subtle Signs a Guy is Turned On While Kissing You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

25 I Miss You Dad Quotes And Messages With Images

I  Miss You Dad You’re the only man you who believed in me when nobody else did. You made me feel that I could accomplish anything I ever set my…

The post 25 I Miss You Dad Quotes And Messages With Images appeared first on Events Greetings.

Is Monogamy for You? How to Know Your Needs and What Works for You

Whether you struggle to commit or just feel like a long term relationship isn’t for you, it may not be. So, is monogamy for you?

Monogamy is the practice of being romantically involved with one person at a time. It is common practice. It is what American society accepts and encourages. But is monogamy for you?

The thing is, monogamy isn’t for everyone. Not only can you be happy being single but you can also make an open relationship work. Monogamy is not the only option. So, why be forced into it?

Why monogamy?

Monogamy is the standard for most American relationships. For many people anything that doesn’t fit the mold is wrong. Of course, monogamy is deeper than the broad term we are familiar with. To some, it may mean just no cheating. Others could consider masturbating or flirting as a breach in monogamy.

But, monogamy, generally, is a sustained loyalty and commitment to one person. It is what you think of when you watch a romantic comedy, an elderly couple sitting in rocking chairs, or newlyweds on their honeymoon.

[Read: Seriously, can someone please define monogamy?]

The thing is, monogamy is not the go-to everywhere and hasn’t always been the “only way.” In many other cultures and in the past, relationships were not always assumed to follow this social construct. Monogamy can be wonderful and healthy, but just like any other form of relationship, it requires work.

Without honesty and communication, monogamy can lead to manipulation, jealousy, and dysfunction. Of course, this isn’t the case for everyone, but it shouldn’t be the only option either.

[Read: How to be in a relationship when the world of monogamy is so new]

Have you tried monogamy?

You may have always found monogamous relationships limiting or confined. Maybe just from seeing your parents’ marriage or in movies, you’ve felt that monogamy wasn’t for you.

With society’s eagerness for monogamy, it can be hard to admit that you want something separate from that. It isn’t something everyone accepts. Because of that, you may feel pressure to try a monogamous relationship. It is expected.

[Read: Answer these open relationship questions to see if it works for you]

Naturally, every relationship is different. You may not want to be monogamous until you meet your person, and that is okay. But if you’ve tried a monogamous relationship and felt stuck, it may not be right for you.

And if you haven’t, I will not tell you to try and see if it is for you. That is like telling someone who is gay to try to be straight. If you don’t want a monogamous relationship, don’t be in one due to someone else, societal pressures, or anything else.

Is monogamy for you?

Whether you crave a polyamorous relationship or an open relationship or to be single, you can figure out if monogamy is for you.

[Read: Could you be happy in polyamorous relationships?]

With some deep thought, questioning, and analyzing, figure out if monogamy is for you or not.

Now, simply answering these questions with certain answers doesn’t mean you are exclusively monogamous or not from this point on. Monogamy is complicated just like polygamy or any other non-monogamous relationship. But, these question may help ease some of your confusion.

#1 Are you an extrovert?  It can be easier for extroverts to enjoy a non-monogamous relationship. Gaining energy from being around others is something that benefits people who prefer to casually date or be in an open relationship.

If you are an introvert, you can still be non-monogamous, but it may be a bit more difficult to communicate openly with others. [Read: The benefits and complications of a triad relationship between three people]

#2 Are you open? Non-monogamous relationships, as I said, are not the norm. They can be hard to navigate for some because there isn’t as much open discussion, guidance, and consideration for these relationships in public.

You should be willing to compromise and consider that what might work for you may not work for someone you’re interested in. [Read: Very obvious signs you are a serial monogamist]

#3 Do you love meeting people? If you thrive on meeting new people and gaining new experiences, you are more like enjoy the benefits of non-monogamy. If you thrive in new environments and click with people easily, committing to just one person can feel limiting for you.

#4 Do you enjoy dating? As someone who is a monogamist, I despise dating. The whole idea of meeting someone new and getting to know them in a high-pressure environment is not for me. Just the thought of it gives me hives.

But if you love going on dates and getting to know people no matter the outcome, you may love the idea of something non-committal or branching out from a duo.[Read: Polyamorous dating and what you need to know about it]

#5 Are you a jealous person? If you are easily jealous or suspicious, being non-monogamous may trouble you in more ways than one. Any relationship requires communication, but if you are jealous, knowing what is going on with your partner’s outside relationships or even someone you’re casually dating can drive you crazy.

You may think knowing is better than being committed and worrying, but jealousy comes out in all ways. [Read: Why am I so jealous? How to recognize and fix it]

#6 Do you love your independence? Not to say that you can’t be independent in a traditional relationship, but if you thrive on alone time and handling things on your own, you may benefit from a more casual dating setting.

You may also feel comfortable with your partner getting what they need from outside your relationship if you can’t meet certain needs they have.

#7 Do you share easily? I don’t mean sharing food. Something about monogamous relationships that turns people off is their possessiveness. People believe they have the right to control their partner and their opinions or actions.

If you are happy sharing your connection with someone with others and want them to be free to share their light with the world, being non-monogamous may be better for you. [Read: How to get past the jealousy of sharing love in a poly relationship]

#8 How do you face challenges? There is no hiding the fact that non-monogamous relationships of any sort will require challenges. Even if you lay out your needs and your partners and discuss every detail of what you share and don’t and what you keep between you two, things will come up.

There will always be uncertainties and difficult conversations. If you appreciate a challenge and can take them as a learning experience and growth opportunity, you are more likely to thrive in a non-monogamous relationship.

#9 How have you felt in a monogamous relationship? If you have been in a monogamous relationship, how did it make you feel? Did you crave the attention of others? Were you feeling trapped or suffocated? Was it a healthy relationship?

Think about the parts of that relationship that could have been altered to suit you and your needs. Was the monogamy the problem or was it something else? [Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]

#10 Do you connect with others easily? Being non-monogamous can be lonely if you struggle to connect with others. There is a lot of connections to be made when you choose that lifestyle. If you are shy or hesitant to meet people, it makes dating in anyway more difficult.

#11 Do you have trust issues? This is different than jealousy. Trust issues are often brought on by a past relationship whether romantic, platonic, or familial. These issues don’t just lead to jealousy but guilt, suspicion, and general distrust.

An open relationship will not work if you cannot trust the open communication needed for this type of relationship.

[Read: How to date with trust issues and learn to trust again]

So, is monogamy for you? No matter what your answer is, just know there is no right or wrong one. This isn’t set in stone.

The post Is Monogamy for You? How to Know Your Needs and What Works for You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.