How to Keep a Conversation Going & Make Anyone Love Talking to You

Talking to people is awkward only when you have nothing to say. Here’s how to keep a conversation going and make everyone love spending time around you.

Everyone loves talking and sharing their ideas. And more than that, we want to become wonderful conversationalists so everyone would love hanging out with us. If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with anyone, maybe you’re focusing on the wrong thing.

When we think of things to talk about with someone, our mind goes into overdrive looking for conversation topics. 

But what if that’s the wrong way to go looking for things to talk about? What if there were an easier and far more relaxed way to talk to anyone, and keep the conversation going for as long as you’d like?

The first few minutes of a new conversation

For most of us, the first few minutes of a new conversation is the absolute worst. It’s awkward and uneasy, and almost a toe curling nightmare.

You don’t know what to say. They’re staring at you blankly because they don’t know what to say. Both of you smile awkwardly and look around hoping someone else would pop in and save you both from this nightmare.

But what if you could be that person who saves the day and the conversation? Can you become the person everyone instantly feels relaxed around because they know you’ll say all the right things and turn an awkward moment into something fun and easy?

Here’s something to remember. As annoying as those first few minutes are, it is those very few minutes that will turn out to be the biggest judge of your conversation skills. After all, first impressions are made of first conversations.

If you want to be an amazing conversationalist and never run out of things to talk about, read this feature on the 22 most important traits of a good conversationalist. Once you know them, you’ll never have any trouble holding a conversation with anyone.

How to keep a conversation going effortlessly

It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to impress your new date, woo a guy or girl in a first conversation, or make small talk with someone you’re standing next to.

The most important thing to remember is to avoid the awkwardness of those first few seconds from seeping into the conversation.

If your new friend feels awkward, chances are, they’d want to slip away from you as soon as possible or they’d be praying for you to leave them alone.

And you really can’t get someone’s attention if all they’re doing is focusing on getting away instead of staying back and enjoying a conversation with you, can you?

[Read: How to talk to someone you like – The real secrets to make them instantly like you back] 

How to make the first few minutes work in your favor

Awkwardness always finds a way to crawl into a first conversation within the first few minutes. If you can ensure that your first few minutes with someone you’re talking to is exciting and fun, they’d look forward to sticking around you the whole evening.

The location and the reason for the gathering are always great conversation starters, be it a cocktail party hosted by your friend or a Friday night get-together after work. And from there on, if you want to know how to keep a conversation going, all you need to keep these cues in mind.

When it comes to the first few minutes, here are all the things that matter most. [Read: How to make people like you – 35 tips to charm absolutely anyone]

1. Appear confident

Have an upright and confident posture *you can fake this easily even if you’re nervous* and stand tall. If you want to catch someone’s eye or get them to engage in a conversation with you, you have to intrigue them. After all, you picked someone to talk to, because you found them interesting.

So why would someone want to get into a conversation with you if they don’t think you’re interesting? If you want to get them interested in you, you need to appear interesting. [Read: How to introduce yourself – The art of making a great first impression]

2. Appear relaxed

Your energy is contagious. Have you ever felt anxious while standing next to someone who seemed nervous, flustered and all over the place? If you feel relaxed, they will too! When you’re standing next to someone, don’t fidget. Take a few deep breaths, pretend like you’re enjoying every single thing around you, and you will!

3. Your first smile

Flash a quick warm smile at the person you’re talking to. It almost instantly makes anyone feel at ease. If you haven’t started talking yet, you can nod and smile, and look away for a moment.

But if you’ve been introduced, smile warmly and just look at them with mild curiosity. You don’t have to say something immediately. Sometimes, just smiling and looking at them warmly will make the other person initiate the conversation instead! [Read: How to make a good first impression and impress everyone you meet]

4. Don’t be nervous to look around

When you want to keep a conversation going, you don’t have to stare intently at the person you’re talking to. Sometimes, it’s far more comfortable to take a second and scan your eyes curiously around the room.

It gives the person you’re talking to a moment to compose themselves, it gives you new ideas from around the room to talk about, and most importantly, it cuts the awkward tension of small talk. [Read: How to make small talk without ever feeling awkward again]

5. Use what’s around to make a conversation out of it

When you look around in the middle of a conversation, you’ll always find something new to talk about. Mutual friends, exotic looking food, someone’s funny antics, the weather, a drink… literally anything you can think of will work here.

Remember, the person you’re talking to would probably be feeling awkward as well. And they’ll appreciate any new conversation topic you bring to the table!

6. Silence is okay

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a conversation. What matters is how comfortable you are handling that awkward silence.

If you look and feel comfortable in a moment of quiet, the other person will start to relax too. Remember, you can guide the pace of a conversation, or let the other person know there’s no need to keep talking. And all this starts with “appearing” as cool and relaxed as you possibly can be. [Read: How to talk to anyone you come across and master the art of a real conversationalist]

The 5 best conversation makers for enjoyable conversations

Conversations have to be fun and interesting. And conversations get interesting only when the two people conversing have things in common. After you’re done with the introductions, you need to try and build the connection so your new friend feels like they have something in common with you.

If you want to keep a conversation going, here are the best things you can talk about that will definitely help find common ground between both of you.

1. The location

The place both of you are in is a perfect way to get to know each other without getting personal too soon. Talk about where you are at that moment, and about anything you see around you.

2. Work

Work is rather impersonal and a good conversation topic to talk about in the first few minutes. If you know something about their line of work, appear interested in it and ask a few curious questions or talk about what you do professionally.

3. Beyond work

Everyone indulges in a few activities beyond work, be it hobbies or watching movies on weekends. As you talk about work, try to involve other activities into your questions by saying something like “your work seems rather hectic, you must be doing something to blow off steam during the weekends…”

A good conversationalist always tries to merge and flow from one conversation topic into another without going off in a tangent, bouncing from one different topic to another.

So whatever you ask, find a way to incorporate the question to an answer the person gives. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your conversation when you’re on a date]

4. Talk about a common factor

There must be something in common between both of you, and that’s always a great way to break the ice or go into something more personal.

Talk about the friend that introduced both of you, the host of the gathering, or an activity both of you share.

5. An incident you experienced a few minutes ago

Funny anecdotes or fresh stories are always great icebreakers to have a laugh. Did you experience anything funny, like spilling a drink or tasting something that was revolting a few minutes ago?

If you want to make someone feel comfortable and like you, you need to make them laugh at the opportune moment. [Read: Everything you need to know to be funny and make people love your company]

6. You can use a few conversation starters

If you have a hard time using any of the topics above to keep a conversation going, just use an appropriate conversation starter.

They always work, and unless you use something that’s obscure, the person you’re talking to would be happy to indulge you, unless they’re just waiting to get away from you. Use 25 of these perfect conversation starters that work anywhere to get the conversation going to get the conversation going.

How to keep a conversation going for as long as you’d like in 3 simple steps

To keep a conversation going, there are just 3 things you need to keep in mind. Once you’re past the hellos and the pleasantries, use these three tips to stretch the happy conversation until it naturally progresses into something far more interesting and fun.

1. Open ended questions

If you’re interested in prolonging the conversation, always ask open ended questions. Answer any question you’re asked with another question so your new friend can respond to you with their own views.

2. Use their answers to create more questions

If the person you’re talking to says they like something, use their answer to create more questions to find out more about their interests.

With each new question you ask, you’d be able to visualize several other questions that can help you know more about this person, and at the same time, make them feel more involved. [Read: 6 secret words to prolong any conversation easily]

3. Compliments

“I’m glad I met you here, or this place would be such a bore.” Saying something nice will help the person to warm up better to you. A compliment or two is a pleasant break from the typical conversation of questions and answers.

On a cautionary note, compliment the person you’re talking to only when both of you have been talking for at least a few minutes. Using them too soon can seem creepy and desperate.

But if they say something they’re proud of, like “I just got promoted” or “I helped organize this party”, make sure you use the circumstance to compliment them about it.

Now that you know how to keep a conversation going, are you looking for something more specific? Use these:

How to talk to a guy – 34 tips to sweet talk a guy and make him really like you

How to talk to a girl – The real secrets to smooth talk girls and impress them

The most important things to remember during your first conversation

A conversation doesn’t start and end with the words you choose to use. A lot more depends on your personality and the way you behave around this new friend you’re talking to.

If you want to keep a conversation going without any awkwardness in the air, keep these things in mind, and you’ll have a much better chance of impressing the person you’re talking to.

[Read: How to be more attractive and desirable – 31 ways to play up your best features]

1. Be comfortable during the conversation 

If you feel uncomfortable or awkward, the person you’re talking to will immediately sense the discomfort you’re feeling. And that would only make both of you feel more awkward.

Relax, using these tips on how to keep a conversation going, you’d already know everything about what you need to talk. There’s no need to feel stressed by the conversation. You know what you need to say, don’t you?

2. Look around now and then 

In between your conversation, every now and then, don’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Just look around casually for a second or two, and then continue the conversation. Adding a few seconds of quiet time now and then initially will help the person you’re talking to feel more comfortable, even in silence.

But if you see their eyes light up with excitement, don’t stop talking. They love your company already! [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]

3. Smile and nod along when they’re saying something interesting 

Be warm when you talk to someone, especially if you’re trying to impress them. Smiling can do two things, let them know you like their company, and secondly, it’ll help them feel more relaxed around you.

And nodding, it makes people believe you can relate to what they’re saying. So they’ll continue talking enthusiastically as long as you’re nodding along.

4. But don’t just smile!

Smiling and looking around without saying anything makes everything seem much more awkward. If you smile, make sure you say something to continue the conversation as soon as you look towards them again.

5. Don’t fidget

If you want to overcome the awkwardness, stop fidgeting. If you start fidgeting or looking around because you don’t know what to say, you’d end up fidgeting a lot more in your effort to cover your awkwardness.

Stand or sit down calmly, and just look around to find a new inspiration to talk about. 

6. Be interested

Seem genuinely interested when you’re talking to someone you’ve just met. And try your best to look focused and avoid appearing distracted. Distraction is an annoying insult to someone who’s taking time to answer you or have a conversation with you.

7. Stop judging yourself

It’s completely acceptable to say something silly or stupid now and then. Stop holding yourself back in the fear of saying something that you think will be judged. People are forgiving and likable if you seem like a relaxed person, so just laugh your slip ups off and no one will care! [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself – A guide to stop caring so much about what others think]

8. Involve the quiet person

If there are more than two people you’re talking to at the same time, always make sure you involve the quiet or bored person. This person is your weak link and the ticking time bomb, and the one who can make everything way more awkward.

If you notice someone fidgeting or appearing bored, involve them in the conversation by asking for their opinion, so they can join in, and their bad energy won’t rub off on others who are enjoying the conversation with you.

9. Ramble on

It’s completely okay to ramble for the first minute. Don’t use a filter to avoid saying something, just to appear “cooler” or more uptight. At least for the first couple of minutes, just say the first thing that comes to your mouth *unless it’s totally inappropriate*. It’ll help both of you feel at ease around each other.

10. Your goal is to find a mutual interest and click

Here’s the most important part in knowing how to keep a conversation going with someone. You need to find that mutual interest that can connect both of you together.

In every new conversation you have with someone new, the first few minutes are all about stabbing in the dark. You don’t know them. They don’t know you. It just makes everything more awkward.

But if you want to build on the conversation and turn into into friendship, you NEED to find that common ground. 

Ask lots of questions, share a lot of your thoughts, and soon, you two will find something both of you have in common that’ll bring you two closer. [Read: How to be likable and be adored for who you are]

11. Don’t be overeager

Don’t be an eager beaver who’s waiting to please. Don’t talk about meeting up again sometime or try making plans to catch up for a coffee date within the first couple of minutes. You’ll just end up coming off like a clingy leech.

If you’ve had a nice time and have to say goodbye, say something like “we should catch up sometime again” or “I had a wonderful time talking to you, I’d love to see you again sometime…” or “hey, let me get your phone number/ Insta account” 

[Read: How to make someone like you – 25 ways to draw someone closer to you]

Giving up and second chances

Even the best of conversationalists have to deal with grumpy company now and then. If someone’s clearly not interested in talking, don’t blame yourself for it *unless you’re a bore who’s not following these conversation tips!*

If someone excuses themselves after a few minutes, don’t force them to continue the conversation. If you really like them and want to get to know them better, you could always *accidentally* bump into them when you find them alone and bored after a while, or if they walk past you later in the evening.

All you have to do is look towards them, slow down just a bit and smile. Or just wave or raise the hand holding a drink ever so slightly. If they’re interested in talking to you, they’d walk up to you and in all probability, they may even be happy to talk to you this time around. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

Dealing with bad conversationalists

Are you the only one constantly asking questions or making conversation? Do you really like this person so much that you’re willing to throw yourself off a bridge to continue the conversation?

Here are 3 bad conversationalists and different ways to deal with it.

1. They’re not interested

If someone isn’t interested in talking to you, or is answering only with monosyllabic answers like yes or no, then let them go. You’d only annoy them and make them dislike you if you try to force them into a conversation.

2. Rude or cold behavior

Some people get rude or prefer to behave in a cold way to cover their own awkwardness. If you’re talking to someone who isn’t getting away from you, nor are they trying to converse with you, they’re probably the ones who aren’t confident about their own conversation skills. And they find it easier to hide their awkwardness behind a wall of ungraciousness.

Be warm and friendly, and try to get them to feel more relaxed before you give up on them. [Read: How to get someone to open up to you so you can really connect]

3. The scared conversationalist

Almost all people are intimidated and awed by smooth talkers. A few guys and girls take time to open up, especially if you’re an extremely smooth and confident conversationalist. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t open up quickly, take it slow.

Instead of being too smooth, pause for a few seconds every now and then before asking a question. By doing that, let them believe that you’re no smooth talker either. It’ll take the pressure off them and give them more confidence to ask you questions in return. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]

Ending a conversation the right way

No matter how the conversation goes, end the conversation warmly. Even if you couldn’t impress someone, or get someone to fall for you, you at least have a new acquaintance or a friend. Perhaps, if you ever do bump into this person somewhere else, you can still say hello and start all over again.

But if it all works out and the person you’re talking to has fun talking to you, make sure you find a way to keep in touch, or make plans to meet again.

[Read: How to impress someone you like – 20 ways to leave them thinking of you fondly]

The next time you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going, just use these tips. With these, you’ll never ever have any difficulty with impressing anyone you meet, and having a great time too!

The post How to Keep a Conversation Going & Make Anyone Love Talking to You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Help Someone With Anxiety & Not Say or Do the Wrong Things

Anxiety is a real condition that causes extreme anguish. It’s important to know how to help someone with anxiety and not to say the wrong thing.

Telling a person with anxiety “not to worry” is just like telling a person with depression to “cheer up, it could be worse.” It’s the single worst thing you can possibly say. The problem is, far too many people have no idea how to help someone with anxiety.

Rather, they accidentally say the wrong thing or even inadvertently make it worse. 

Anxiety is one of the most complicated conditions we hear about in the modern day. It doesn’t follow a set pattern and varies from person to person.

However, anxiety is not just a bit of worry, but is a troubling and upsetting condition which can cause a person to feel completely out of control, extremely down, and can even cause panic attacks. 

As a person who has struggled with anxiety and still does from time to time, I know that being told to “calm down, you’re worrying about nothing” just doesn’t help.

It makes you feel like nobody understands you.

In reality, it actually makes the anxiety worse because you convince yourself there really is a huge problem to focus on. For that reason, let’s check out how to help someone with anxiety in a positive way, so you can use these tips in the future. 

[Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental health]

How to understand what someone with anxiety goes through

Unless you’ve had anxiety yourself, it’s extremely difficult to know how it feels. You might have been around someone with anxiety, and you’ll know the symptoms. Nevertheless, unless you’ve been in a situation where anxiety has taken control of your life and turned it upside down to any degree, it’s difficult to really understand. 

Anxiety can be extremely frightening. Of course, there are varying degrees of severity, but when you’re struggling with anxiety, you’re not just worried or a little anxious. You are wrapped into a sense of total negativity, and you have a sense of doom that you just can’t shift.

It might be that there is one very troubling issue that is causing your anxiety to peak, or it might just be how you’re feeling and anxiety seems to be all around you. 

People who struggle with anxiety can have it all the time, some of the time, or they have a big bout of it and then have it on and off in the future. There’s no set pattern, which makes it even harder to understand. 

[Read: What it feels like to experience anxiety in a relationship]

The main symptoms of anxiety to watch out for are:

1. Restlessness

2. Being withdrawn and anxious

3. Isolation and avoiding social situations

4. Shaking 

5. Flushing of the skin

6. Seeming to breathe in a shallow way

7. Not concentrating and struggling to focus

8. Seeming to have an ‘all or nothing’ way of thinking and overgeneralizing everything

Want to know how to read these signs of anxiety and handle them better? Check out all the signs of anxiety ASAP and handle it better the next time.

Of course, the difficulty here is that these symptoms of anxiety can all be mistaken for other things.

Unless you know that a person is feeling anxious or struggling with a particular event or issue, you could accidentally miss the signs. There are also far more anxiety symptoms than listed above, but you’d have to be in the person’s head and body to notice them.  

The best advice is to just be there for your friends and family members and pay attention. If you know them well, you’ll notice a shift in their behavior. That shift is your sign to help them out as much as you can. 

[Read: Learn how to open up to people and build real relationships]

How to help someone with anxiety

Learning how to help someone with anxiety can be worrying in itself. You’re so focused on not saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.

Let’s check out a few ways you can do your best to make the situation at least slightly better for the person in your life who is struggling with anxiety. 

1. Learn about anxiety disorders

The first step in learning how to help someone with anxiety is to read up on the condition and know about it.

Anxiety isn’t just worrying, and that’s the biggest misconception there is. Learn about how it feels when anxiety rises and do your best to be armed with facts.

When you learn about a condition, you’re in a better position to understand that person and help them out. [Read: Is it social anxiety or just shyness – Here’s how to tell the difference]

2. Be on the lookout for common signs

Don’t just learn about what anxiety is, learn to know the signs and symptoms and be on the lookout for them in your friends and family members.

You can’t learn how to help someone with anxiety if you’re not too sure if that’s the actual problem at hand, so do some research.

3. Do not say ‘don’t worry’

Learning how to help someone with anxiety is as much about learning not what to say and do. Never tell someone with anxiety to “just calm down” or “don’t worry.”

As I mentioned earlier, that’s like telling someone who is depressed to “smile.”

It’s upsetting. And it will make them feel like you’re not taking them seriously. Therefore, exacerbating the problem. 

4. Let them know that you understand

Sometimes all a person struggling with anxiety needs is someone to understand what they’re going through. Be that person by letting your friend or family member know that you understand their anxiety and that you know how hard it is for them.

Be present with them.

But don’t make promises that you can’t keep. You can’t take their anxiety away, but you can support them through it. [Read: Learn how to show empathy and share someone else’s feelings and struggles]

5. Acknowledge that they’re struggling with anxiety

It might be that your friend or family member doesn’t actually know that what they’re struggling with is anxiety. When anxiety really rises and especially when it starts to cause panic attacks, it can feel like you’re literally going crazy.

Plus, a rapidly beating heart can make you feel like you’re having a heart attack. Helping them to understand that anxiety is the issue at hand, could be a huge help for them. 

Of course, it could be that they already know that they’re struggling with anxiety and they want you to acknowledge it as a problem. When someone says, “I see you, I hear you, I know what you’re going through,” it really does help. 

6. Learn about deep breathing exercises

When someone is having a panic attack or they’re heading that way, helping them to take deep, calming breaths can be a real help.

Learn about deep breathing and do it with them, helping them to not only calm their racing mind but to also let them know that they’re not alone and you’re right there with them. [Read: Nervous sweats – How to recognize the triggers and stop stress sweats]

7. Learn to really listen

There is nothing worse than talking to someone who you know isn’t listening properly. They just look like their attention is elsewhere, or even worse, they’re on their phone and not really paying attention.

When your friend, family member, partner, or whoever it is, is speaking to you, really listen to them. Let them know that they have your undivided attention.

Again, sometimes, a person just wants to be listened to and off-load whatever is on their mind. 

8. Be their ‘go-to’ person

This is a point that you need to be careful of in terms of boundaries. But if you want to know how to help someone with anxiety, be the person they can call whenever they’re struggling.

This doesn’t mean that they have permission to call you in the middle of the night or when you’re spending time with your partner. It means that whenever you are free and whenever you can listen, you will pick up the phone and be there with them. [Read: How to get someone to open up so you can really connect]

9. Exercise with them

Exercise can really help with anxiety conditions, but it’s a double-edged sword because a lot of the time, a person with anxiety won’t want to get up and exercise. They will want to hide away instead.

Encourage them to exercise and go with them for a run in the park, go to the gym, go to a dance class.

Basically, do something which gets them moving and helps them to distract their mind for a short while. The benefits are far-reaching for both of you!

10. Help them to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms

Sometimes when a person is struggling, they reach out towards unhealthy habits to cope. This could be drinking too much alcohol, smoking too much, eating too much, spending too much, or even taking drugs. Check in with your friend and watch their behavior for any red flags.

If you see any, be careful how you address it. But do your best to steer them away from those unhealthy options and towards healthier ones instead. [Read: Unhealthy habits? How to help your partner beat them]

11. Never blame the person for how they feel

It’s really easy to feel exasperated and snap when someone is talking about the thing they’re anxious about more than once.

However, it’s vital that you don’t make them feel like you’re blaming them for how they feel. They cannot help it.

Anxiety is a mental health condition, and it isn’t something they can just click their fingers and stop feeling. If you want to know how to help someone with anxiety, it means having a lot of patience and never blaming them for how they act or what they say/feel. 

12. Understand what to do when a panic attack occurs

If a panic attack is brewing or they’re in the middle of one, you need to know what to do to help them come out of the attack quickly and calmly.

Panic attacks can be extremely frightening for the person experiencing it, but they can also be upsetting for someone witnessing one too. 

Stay calm and do your best not to show any emotion other than empathy and understanding. Reassure them that you know they’re having a panic attack and that you’re right there with them.

Encourage them to focus their attention on something which isn’t moving, such as the wall or a chair, and to take deep breaths to bring the panic attack to an end quickly. 

13. Don’t push them to speak, but encourage instead

Anxiety sufferers sometimes don’t want to talk, or they might want to but don’t really know the words to say. Never force someone to speak.

Instead encourage them to do so by asking simple questions and not being too heavy-going. Keep things as light as you can, and let them know that anything they tell you, won’t go any further. 

14. Don’t try to rationalize, just listen

In addition to encouraging them, don’t try to be the voice of reason or rationalize whatever they’re telling you. A person who is really struggling with anxiety will come up with something else to twist even if you manage to clear one particular issue up for them. That’s just the nature of the beast.

Instead, just listen. If they ask advice, give it in a calm and open way, without judgement. 

15. Let them know that you’re there for them

Of course, the basic thing you can do when learning how to help someone with anxiety is just to let them know that you’re on their side and you’re there for them.

Anxiety sufferers can often feel completely misunderstood which can worsen the entire situation. Simply knowing that someone has your back is so vitally important. [Read: How to be a better person and keep growing into a kind human]

16. Ask them what they need from you

The final point when learning how to help someone with anxiety is to be strong enough to ask them what they need from you.

Do they want you to listen? Do they want you to talk? Or do they want you to just be there for silent support? Do they want you to distract them? 

Every person who suffers with anxiety is different. It’s empowering when someone says to you “I know you’re struggling with anxiety, but what do you need from me to help you?” That puts the control in their hands, giving them a sense of direction in a situation that often makes you feel so helpless. 

[Read: How to explain anxiety to someone you love and do it fearlessly]

Learning how to help someone with anxiety could be a huge life-changer for someone close to you. Much of the time, we don’t know the silent battles people around us are dealing with. With knowledge and understanding, you can support them and maybe even help them turn things around. 

The post How to Help Someone With Anxiety & Not Say or Do the Wrong Things is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

70 Speed Dating Questions to Reveal Everything and Fast

With speed dating questions, you need to have them ready at the drop of a hat. You don’t have much time to get to know someone, so make the most of it.

When you go on a regular date, you spend two or three hours sitting with your date. Then, of course, there is small talk and flirting. But with speed dating, well, everything speeds up. And the right speed dating questions are essential.

Speed dating is a great way to bypass small talk and get those big questions out in the open and answered. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]

You need the best speed dating questions

You may think speed dating is silly, and you are just using it to see if you have a connection. That is fine, but if you’re hoping to take this fun game and turn it into something more, you’ll want to ask the questions that really matter.

Sure, it may be easier to ask about what they’re binging on Netflix, but does that matter in the long run? Will their TV preferences lead to a real date?

Think about what matters to you in someone you’re dating. What are your dealbreakers? These are the things you should be asking. Unfortunately, you don’t have much time to really get insight into these people, so asking some deeper speed dating questions is what it takes. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

Speed dating questions

Get your pen and notepad out because you’ll want to write these speed dating questions down for your next dating event.

Now, be sure you aren’t just asking them in order and definitely don’t read from that list you made. Instead, pick and choose the questions that matter to you, so you get the most out of these speed dating questions.

1. Why are you single?

It’s a good opportunity to see why they think they’re single, and what they are searching for. A fling or a relationship? This is probably the most common speed dating question. [Read: The thirst is real: 15 realities of being single for too long]

2. What do you do for work?

This is a great introductory question to learn a lot about someone from what career they’ve chosen.

3. What did you study in school?

Maybe their work and education are completely different. You never know. It’s a good way to see why they went down that road. Asking this speed dating question can also help you find out what you have in common.

4. Have you ever been married?

Well, this question is more for you. Do they want to get married in the future or not? Maybe you two are heading down different paths.

5. How old are you?

They say age is just a number, but it’s always nice to know how old someone is.

6. What do you like doing on the weekends?

Do they like sleeping in late and watching Saturday morning cartoons? Maybe they’ll be a great match for you, or maybe they like 6 am hikes—who knows *unless you ask*. [Read: 50 perfect questions to know instantly if someone’s right for you]

7. Do you have any kids?

Are you ready to date a man who already has a family? Are they interested in growing their family? These are important questions to ask if you envision a future with someone.

This is something people without kids rarely think about, but it is a huge deal, so it should be on your list of speed dating questions.

8. Do you want kids?

If you’re looking for a long-term partner, then this question must be brought up. If you’re dying to start a family, and they don’t want kids, it might not be a good fit.

9. Do you have any pets?

Maybe you’re allergic to cats, and well, they’re a cat lover. Or maybe they hate dogs, and you have five.

10. Do you like animals?

If they don’t care for animals in general, just make note of that. It’s weird. If they find this speed dating question odd because everyone should like animals, you’re golden.

11. Who’s your favorite film director?

You can tell a lot about a person based on the types of films they watch, so pay attention. 

12. Do you like to travel?

If you have the travel bug and they don’t, that will be a huge problem. [Read: 9 reasons traveling is a great test of compatibility]

13. Where is one place you’d like to see in the world?

This is a great question to see what they consider to being their ultimate destination. Maybe it’s rugged or perhaps more peaceful.

14. How do your friends describe you?

How their friends describe them is what they are in the truest sense.

15. What’s one of your secret talents?

Maybe they’ll show you right then and there! And this question is a more lighthearted one to balance out the more intense. This may not be the most intimate speed dating question, but it is good to keep some of them light

16. Do you prefer country or city life?

If they don’t share a similar lifestyle as you, this could be a challenge. This is a good way to see how they live their life and their long-term goals for where they want to live. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date in no time]

17. What’s your dream career?

Maybe they still can achieve it, but, regardless, it’s interesting to see what their dreams are and why they didn’t or did follow them.

18. What are you looking for in a relationship?

Okay, you need to know this. What do they want? Can you give it to them? This is something that is sort of a must-have speed dating question if you want to be sure you’re on the same page.

19. What are the most important factors in a relationship?

Relationships are built on a two-way street, so you need to be on the same page of what you and your partner value.

20. Is religion important to you?

If you’re marrying this person, you should be on the same page regarding understanding and respect for each other’s beliefs. [Read: 10 inconvenient truths about intercultural relationships]

21. What’s your favorite season?

Is he a winter boy? Or a beach girl? Do your seasons match?

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I know this sounds all lovey-dovey, but this reveals if they are romantic or not. This speed dating question will take you into a discussion why you agree or disagree.

23. Do you follow politics?

Listen, you can have different political beliefs, but they may cause some friction at the dinner table. Know it ahead of time.

24. Who was your first crush?

This is a great way to hear a sentimental story from them about their first love, and it’s sweet.

25. What’s your favorite genre of music?

Maybe they love death metal, and you like classical. People who date usually have similar tastes in music or at least respect the other genre.

26. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Do they have any long-term goals? If they don’t know the answer to this question, they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want. This speed dating question opens your eyes to the future.

27. How important is sexual compatibility to you?

This one is critical. Sex is a major part of the relationship, so if you’re sexually energetic but your potential date isn’t, there’s going to be an issue. [Read: How important is sex in a relationship? The truth revealed]

28. Are you a morning or a night person?

This one is just a given. Who wants to be alone all morning while their partner still snores away.

29. If you could have three wishes come true, what would they be?

Who knows what they’ll say? It’s just a fun question to ask in between all the serious ones.

30. What’s your favorite TV show?

Maybe you guys like the same television show, or maybe you like the same genre of shows. If so, you guys can watch it on your second date. This may be a little shallow, but TV plays a big role in dating now. This speed dating question could kick off something great.

31. What’s your worst habit?

Does he bite his nails? Does she burp at the table? Will you be able to stand their habits?

32. What’s the worst date you’ve been on?

Well, we all have a horrible first date story, so you might as well share them and laugh together.

33. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

And we all have done something generally embarrassing, so it’s a good way to have a laugh and get to know the real person. Can they laugh at themselves? [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]

34. Do you speak any other languages?

Maybe they’re bilingual—that’s hot. Knowing a second language is incredibly sexy. Plus, why not know another language?

35. What’s the last book you’ve read?

Another good way to start a conversation and get to know this person. If you’re a real bookworm, and the last book they read was a few years back, well, it might not be a match.

36. What are you looking for in a partner?

This time, they should think about what type of partner they want. Do you see yourself in their description? This speed dating question could feel like you’re putting them on the spot, but that’s what this is all about in a way. [Read: 8 important questions you have to ask on a speed date]

37. What’s your proudest moment?

Maybe it’s watching their sister graduate university or their parents buying a house. This will help you learn what really matters to them.

38. What do you do to de-stress?

If they don’t do anything, well, their anger just builds inside, and that’s not healthy for anyone.

39. What makes you laugh/cry?

Is it hearing babies laugh or watching a great comedy? Maybe it is a secret love for the Hallmark channel. [Read: Ready to charm? How to be witty and win over anyone]

40. Who are you closest to in your family?

This is a great way to see how their relationships are with immediate family members.

41. Do you see the glass half full or half empty?

Or in other words, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Will an optimist annoy you? Will their attitude to life turn you off? This is something that isn’t often considered. But, including it in your speed dating question list can really open your eyes to problems that could arise later.

42. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you’d buy?

This question reveals what a potential partner values. It shows a different person, if it is a red sports car or starting a foundation to help sick children. Not bad, just different.

43. What’s one of the craziest things you’ve ever done?

Gone skinny-dipping? See how wild they truly are.

44. What is your favorite part of a woman/man?

What turns them on? A smile? Or long legs?

45. What’s something you’d change about yourself?

Where do their insecurities hide? Or maybe they are comfortable in their own skin. Even if they are confident, their answer to this speed dating question will give you some insight into how they view themselves. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]

46. What are you passionate about?

What gets them out of bed every day? It’s important to see what they love to do and why they do it.

47. What do you like to do for fun?

Hopefully, it’s something fun you can join in doing. Water skiing? Laser tag? Reading?

48. When was your last relationship, and how long did it last?

This is a heavy question, but it needs to be asked. What were their past relationships like and how long did they last? Have they ever had a partner? Have they dated someone for longer than a few months?

This is a speed dating question people may not want to answer because it can bring up some deep stuff. But, it is important to have the answer to this. [Read: Is dating really the best way to get over your ex?]

49. Where are you from?

Whether you’re asking where their parents originate from or where they live, you’ll learn something. Just be sure they know that they don’t have to tell you their address.

50. Is this your first time speed dating?

Maybe they are a seasoned professional or maybe new to it just like you. [Read: 20 questions to ask on a first date for the best conversation]

51. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from dating?

This is a great speed dating question. They may have to think a little, but it tells you a lot. If someone says something like there aren’t many good people out there, it shows they are a little bitter.

But if they share how they can improve themselves or take things slow and get to know someone, it really says they may be ready for something serious.

52. What are your deal breakers?

This is an obvious question to ask at speed dating, and it is also something you should answer. If you would never date someone who smokes and they smoke, this won’t work.

Also share things that seem important. If you don’t drink and they work at a nightclub, things could get complicated.

53. How would you describe your perfect date?

This speed dating question helps you find out if you are both into the same things. It will also clue you into what to plan for a future date if you end up clicking.

54. What is your worst habit?

If someone can’t come up with a bad habit they have, they are lying. And that is a red flag in and of itself.

Some people may say they are too trustworthy, others may say they eat too late at night, and a few might say road rage. This lets you know that they are aware of their shortcomings and have a level of humility. [Read: 16 powerful secrets to better yourself]

55. What do people always compliment you on?

This is very telling. Usually when people are complimented they remember it. Are they often praised for their killer organization or hilarious banter? Do other people see what you see in them?

56. Are you more of a clean freak or are you messy?

If you are a clean freak and think being with someone who is more on the messy side would drive you nuts this is super useful to know early on. The same goes for finding out if you are both equally clean or equally messy.

57. How do you feel about PDA?

Some people really love PDA. It makes them feel seen and like their partner is proud to be with them. But, some people are too shy for that.

The answer to this speed dating question can help you find out if you agree on this subject and if not, why.

58. How would you describe your average day?

This answer may not come into play until you’re having sleepovers, but it is still a good indicator of the type of life someone leads.

If they are up at the crack of dawn exercising and you love to sleep in, will you be able to adjust? Are they super active while you’re more of a homebody?

59. What are your career goals?

This isn’t a dealbreaker, but it is interesting to get the answer to. Asking this speed dating question lets you know if it is their goal to open up 20 restaurants across the country or settle into a good position where they are. Do you have similar goals?

60. How do you feel about your past?

How someone views their past is very telling. Are they running from it? Maybe they have a lot of regrets? Or maybe they see their past as a stepping stone to their future. Do you agree? [Read: How to find closure after a relationship]

61. What is your first impression of me?

This is a fun speed dating question because each person you ask will likely have a different answer. will they focus on your looks or go deeper?

62. What is something you fear people assume about you?

Everyone worries what others think of them to some extent. Even if you try not to, there is one thing you always worry about.

Does this person worry they come off too shy or too pushy? Maybe they think they are too loud or cold. It is so interesting to see what they worry about versus how you see them.

63. What is the worst speed dating question you’ve heard today?

This is sure to be hilarious. Let’s just hope it isn’t from you. I doubt it will be with this killer list of speed dating questions.

64. What are your opinions of the #MeToo movement?

This is a good way to find out their opinions of one of the biggest things happening in America right now. Are they caught up? Are they familiar? You can also rework this question to ask about something relevant in the news that you feel passionate about.

65. Which country do you think has the happiest people and why?

There are the facts, but getting someone’s opinion on this is interesting. Do they think it is somewhere that runs slowly where people are relaxed? Maybe they prefer the hustle and bustle of a busy city.

66. What was your childhood dream job?

There is a huge difference between their current job, their dream job, and their childhood dream job. This tells you what sort of kid they were and if their current self still aligns with that.

67. If plastic surgery was free of charge and risk-free would you get work done?

As much as looks shouldn’t matter, we all have our fair share of insecurities. This question could become very deep as these things are quite personal, but finding out why they answered how they did is even more telling.

68. How long have you been single?

It is good to know the answer to this speed dating question. Are they newly single? Maybe as of last night? Have they been single for ages? [Read: Why am I single? The excuses and the truth]

69. What made you come here today?

Was it a friend that forced you out of your comfort zone? Maybe you thought what could it hurt? Do you have hope this could work out?

70. What is your best speed dating question?

Turn the tables on them and have them get to know you. This is a two-way street.

You don’t have to ask all of these speed dating questions. In fact, you won’t even have time to ask them all. So, pick the ones that speak to you and let the sparks fly!

The post 70 Speed Dating Questions to Reveal Everything and Fast is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

30 Deep Questions to Ask Your Best Friend & Strengthen Your Bond

Need deep questions to ask your best friend? Good. There is always more to learn whether you are new pals or already lifelong BFFs.

One of the best ways to continue to grow your connection and friendship with your BFF is with a list of the best deep questions to ask your best friend.

I don’t know about you, but my best friend and I tell each other everything. We have known each other for over 10 years, but we still have more to learn. There is no end to the bond between best friends.

Why you should ask your best friend deep questions

It might seem obvious. Deep questions bring people closer together. Sharing personal feelings, experiences, and fear enhances your trust and helps you understand one another better.

If you have a best friend that you never ask deep questions to, it does not mean the friendship is doomed to fail, but it can plateau and remain on the surface level.

With the help of deep questions and the answers to those questions, you can share so much more with each other and form an unbreakable bond. Or strengthen the one you already have. [Read: 15 signs of a best friend that prove you’ll never find someone better]

Deep questions to ask your best friend

Deep questions can range anywhere from your five-year plan to your greatest fear and beyond. And when your best friend is involved, there is really no limit.

Whether you are having a deep conversation or just randomly ask some of these questions while you’re out getting frozen yogurt, the answers and act of you asking will surely bring you closer together.

1. What does our friendship mean to you? 

This is a great place to start. You can dive deeper into what your relationship means and what you want it to mean. Do you have fun together, do you share everything? Or are you practically family? [Read: How to build lasting friendships in life]

2. Are you afraid of dying?

Although it is likely something we all think about time and again, it is very possible you’ve never spoken to your best friend about it. Sharing your greatest fears may not make them dissipate, but it can make you feel better to get it off your chest.

3. What do you think happens when you die? 

A follow-up question to the last is one we all consider. Is there a heaven and hell? Do we just disappear? Are we still connected to our bodies? Do we become ghosts? There is a lot to share here, and who better to discuss it with than your BFF? [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]

4. Do you want to have kids? 

Another personal question that would be inappropriate for the lady down the street to ask, but from your best friend, it tells you about the future and can open up a whole new side of your best friend. 

5. How is your relationship with your family? 

Again, you may see your best friend daily, but talking about the ins and outs of family dynamics is not the easiest, especially if things are on the fritz. Discuss where things are. Are they tense? Is there anything you can do to help?

6. Are you really over your last break up?

We all tend to put up a good front when we are in pain and reeling over a bad breakup. And although we stop talking about it before we stop thinking about it, it could still be very painful. Make sure your friend knows you are happy to let them vent.

7. What is your biggest regret? 

Do you already know your friend’s biggest regret? I don’t. But that is something that can certainly open up a different part of yourself. Think about your biggest regret, wouldn’t talking to someone you love and trust about it make it a little less heavy to carry around? [Read: 50 nice things to say to your best friend to brighten their day]

8. Who do you idolize the most? 

Oprah? Michelle Obama? Chris Evans? Harriet Tubman? And why? The person you idolize says a lot about the person you are and who you aspire to be. 

9. What makes you furious? 

Trump? People not recycling? Texting and driving? Your alarm clock? Your parents annoying you to get married and give them grandchildren? Who knows, you probably share a lot of the same pet peeves.

10. If you could go back to anytime in your life, when would it be?

I love this question, personally. Would your best friend go back to high school? Would they want to change things or just experience them again? [Read: Why your blunt bestie is a big boon in disguise]

11. Are you satisfied with where your life is right now? 

This can really open up a can of worms, but it is important to admit if you’re unhappy so you can do something about it. And if they are happy, celebrating that with the person you’re closest to means a lot. 

12. When was the last time you cried? And why? 

One of those deep questions to ask your best friend that can be quite sad is this one. Did they cry recently because they fought with their partner? Did they cry when they saw a baby at the store? 

13. Is there anything you would change about me? 

Do not ask this question if you are not prepared to hear the answer or answer it yourself. But, if this person is really your best friend, they likely know a lot about you, even the flaws, yet they still chose you as their best friend. So the answer couldn’t be too bad. 

As a matter of fact, I know my best friend would say if she could change something about me, it would be for me to take more risks and put myself out there more toexperience things more fully. That’s a pretty darn good answer if you ask me. [Read: 25 personal questions to ask your best friend and feel instantly closer]

14. Have you ever kept a secret from me? If so, why? 

I am not trying to start a fight here, but you likely are over whatever that situation may have been anyway. They most likely had a good reason for keeping something from you, or maybe they admit they were wrong and would have done some different if they could. 

Discussing stuff, you may have swept under the rug can make your relationship stronger. [Read: How to make your life better through friendship]

15. If you found out my partner cheated on me, would you tell me? And vice versa? 

This is something you should definitely discuss with your best friend. Personally, I always think honesty is the best policy, but knowing your best friend’s take on the situation is very important. 

If something were to happen, would they want to hear it from you or their partner? And would they feel comfortable telling you? 

16. Do you believe in ghosts, psychics, etc? 

I adore this question. As someone intensely intrigued by mediums and ghost sightings, this is always so fun to talk about. And it isn’t just about scary stories but lets you into your friend’s beliefs.

Do they think their family members are watching over them? Do they think psychics are real? Or are they super skeptical about the whole thing?

17. Are you afraid of getting old? 

So many people are afraid of aging. Whether it is the vanity, the health aspect, or just the fact that life is getting shorter, sharing this deep question with your best friend will guide you into the future together.

18. Is there anything you’re afraid you’ll never accomplish? 

Afraid you’ll never meet someone? Maybe your friend fears never traveling the world or being completely fulfilled at work. This question can lead to a pep talk from one another to make sure these fears are just fears and not realities. [Read: Best friend bucket list – 15 adventures for you and your BFF]

19. Do you believe in God? 

No matter your religion or lack thereof, sharing your belief system with your best friend can clue you into things you may know about each other but never fully understood. [Read: How to be a good friend – The friend code all BFFs must follow]

20. Have you ever not told me when you were upset with me?

This can help air out old wounds. They could be holding onto something from a long time ago, and this gives your best friend a chance to get it off their chest.

This is a great deep question to ask your best friend because coming out of it your friendship will be stronger.

21. What is your most intense memory?

You’ll notice I put most intense memory, not best. That is because your most intense memory, whether good or bad, impacts you a lot more than your happiest. 

This let you and your best friend really talk about your past and dive deep into the meanings of memories. [Read: Old love letters and memories – Should you keep them or throw them away?]

22. Who do you wish your relationship was different with?

Maybe they wish they were closer with their dad or grandparents. Or, perhaps, their romantic life isn’t what they want it to be. 

Talking about this and opening up about it is a great way to get closer to your best friend through deep questions and help them with something they are struggling with.

23. How do you wish the world were different?

I’ll bet there are tons of ways. They wish there were no more traffic, no more racism or sexism, and no more ridiculous robocalls. 

You can bond over your answers to this deep question. And, although these answers can be funny, they can get pretty serious.

24. Do you wish I was closer to the other people in your life?

Asking your best friend this deep question shouldn’t come from a selfish place. It is nice to know if your best friend wants to share you with their family and other friends. 

Do you hang out with just the two of you? Do they wish you were closer to their partner? Getting this answer can make your friendship even better. [Read: 19 ways to genuinely connect with others]

25. What movie from your childhood impacted you the most?

For me, it would have to be Mrs. Doubtfire, but for your best friend, this deep question could really get them thinking. Was it a cartoon? Perhaps it was something they watched with a sibling or parent.

Discussing this can even lead into a fun and nostalgic movie marathon.

26. What is the best gift you ever received?

You may hope it was from you but listen to what they say and their reasoning. This deep question to ask your best friend can really get them thinking. Maybe they got the most expensive gift from their partner, but when their grandma gave them a locket with their photos in it, it meant the most. 

27. Which family member do you think you’d be friends with if you weren’t family?

This is always a fun and deep question to ask your best friend. It is also a safe question to ask with someone you trust. It is no secret that we don’t like all our family members, even though we love them. 

So, which would your best friend choose to spend time with, even if it was in their genes? [Read: How to see the signs of toxic family members and cut them loose]

28. What language or languages do you want to learn?

I personally find this question so telling. And it isn’t just the answer, but the reasoning behind it. For example, does your best friend want to learn Italian so they can live there for a year? Or maybe they want to learn Spanish so they can communicate with their grandparents.

I’d like to learn sign language so I can communicate with people who are limited by who they can speak to. 

29. If we could go anywhere in the world right now where would you want to go?

Right this second. If you could just blink and be somewhere, where would your best friend want to go? Would they want to see the Eiffel Tower, or would they want to be home in bed, asleep? 

30. Is there anything you want to know about me?

I would presume that your best friend would be asking a lot of these questions back to you, but there may be something else they want to know. And being an open book with your BFF, you should be able to answer anything that came at you with.

[Read: How to create lasting memories with your best friend]

Using this list of deep questions to ask your best friend can only further enhance your friendship and strengthen your bond. So, go on and ask, the answers will be telling.

The post 30 Deep Questions to Ask Your Best Friend & Strengthen Your Bond is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Tease a Guy: 15 Ways to Make Him Realize He Likes You

Learning how to tease a guy is a great way to get him to try harder. Plus, it’s no secret that guys tend to like what they can’t have. So, tease away.

Knowing how to tease a guy is subtle yet intricate. It is all about giving and pulling back.

But, if you have read any of my other advice on LovePanky, you would know that I am completely against playing games when it comes to dating. I find it to be entirely juvenile. Plus, it is rarely successful. So, why am I teaching you how to tease a guy?

In my book, teasing is not a game but an incentive. It is a way to make guys realize what they really want faster. Otherwise, you’ll be waiting around for him to realize it, and by the time he does, you will have moved onto greener pastures.

In order to get a guy’s attention, sometimes, being straightforward just doesn’t work. Many guys, even the decent ones, are conditioned to want what they can’t have. So learning how to tease a guy is a wonderful way to get his undivided attention.

[Read: Why do guys come back when you ignore them?]

The art of teasing a guy

Teasing a guy sounds simple enough, right? Well, it is a bit more complicated than what you may have done to your grade school crush. Teasing a guy in terms of dating him is not about poking fun at his shortcomings.

In fact, learning how to tease a guy is a subtle art. It is about give and take. You want to offer something to him and pull it back. It is about mystery and small glimpses.

Let’s use lingerie as an example. There is a reason it is so popular. It is all about teasing. What makes it so sexy is that it doesn’t give everything away at once. Instead, it hints at what’s beneath but still leaves you guessing.

This is how a lot of attraction works. Think about your favorite show. If it ends with a cliffhanger, that is a form of teasing. Even a trailer for a movie is called a teaser for a reason. It gives you just enough to want more.

That is how you have to think about teasing a guy. [Read: How to tease a man and make you tantalizing to him]

The benefits of teasing a guy

Now that you get the idea about what teasing a guy really is, why would you do it? Well, as I said, guys don’t always know what they want.

Sometimes, we need to take the lead and show them. But, again, rather than walking up to your crush and saying you’re interested and hoping that ignites their feelings, subtlety can often actually speak even louder.

Teasing is like a slow burn. You have to have patience, and it forces him to build up a longing that makes the end of the teasing even better. [Read: 14 tricks to tease and tantalize a man and make him desire you]

You can tease him sexually or emotionally, and it will trigger something in him that wants to know more. Although not every guy is built the same, learning how to tease a guy can enhance your connection from when you first see him.

Teasing shows that you have wildly enhanced self-control. It shows that you are in control. It tells a guy that there is a lot more to you below the surface, making him want to discover what that is.

And teasing is not just about sex or playing hard to get. Learning how to tease a guy lets you guide the story. [Read: How to make playing hard to get work for you]

How to tease a guy

Hopefully, you are now convinced that learning how to tease a guy can benefit you in more ways than one. But, how do you do it?

It isn’t like learning how to put together Ikea furniture. There isn’t a map to success or a list of instructions. Rather, you learn how to tease a guy through trial and error.

1. Practice

Just like nearly everything else in life, practice makes perfect. If you are nervous about teasing a guy you actually like, try it out on strangers. Don’t tease a guy friend, but someone you just met at the bar.

This lets you start with a blank slate. It also prevents the chances of things getting complicated as you just met.

Instead, you can see what works for you and what doesn’t. For example, is being touchy and playful your thing, or are you more shy and mysterious?

Is your teasing going to come from body language and eye contact or your words and banter? Trying different teasing styles on strangers will help you determine what works and what doesn’t before you try it with a guy you really like. [Read: How to turn any guy on without even touching him]

2. Take advantage of technology

If you are just trying to tease a guy for the first time, you may feel a little awkward or uncomfortable. So, try it over text or social media before doing it in person. Something as simple as a winking emoji can show interest without giving away too much.

You can be subtle with this, or even responding to his text late and saying you just got out of the shower lets his mind wander without you actually saying anything sexual. [Read: How to get a man to chase you and fall really hard]

3. Start a competition

Competition has a way of raising the adrenaline and chemistry in all of us. So whether you tease a guy at the bar by daring him to shotgun a beer or claiming you can name more actors on Game Of Thrones than him, it ignites a spark.

Friendly competition is sort of the adult equivalent to telling your childhood crush he has cooties.

4. Flirt and pull back

This is probably the easiest way to tease a guy and get him interested. Flirt as you normally would, but pull back. I am not saying to be hot and cold or ghost him randomly but just hint at your interest so that he isn’t sure how you feel.

This mystery may seem confusing, but it challenges him to want to find out more. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]

5. Talk about sex

Just bringing up sex around him is teasing. Bring up a sex scene on that HBO show you both watch.

Talk about something you read in a book. Make sure not to talk about sex with an ex or anything too clinical. Just mentioning anything revolving around the topic will get his motors running. [Read: How to make a guy really horny just by sitting next to him]

6. Use your body

Body language is a key piece of flirting and teasing. Avoid kissing or anything too obvious. Instead, just place your hand on his arm when he’s talking or playfully hit him when you laugh at his joke.

Even your clothes can be a method of learning how to tease a guy. So instead of going all out with sexy attire, show off your best asset. Drawing attention to just one part is sexier and focused. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

7. Don’t push it too far

Teasing is an art that means it can be overdone easily and why I told you to practice. You don’t want to tease a guy until he is so confused he moves on or goes nuts.

Teasing should be subtle. It is just enough interest to get him excited, but not so much he is 100% sure you’re interested. And once he makes his intentions known, let it go. Once you’ve kissed or made it to your intended target, teasing is off the table.

Sure, you can still sexually tease someone you’re dating, but once they know you’re interested in them for sure, teasing just becomes immature. [Read: Signs of unspoken attraction that reveal when someone is into you too]

8. Be confident

Teasing and flirting in general really don’t work without a level of confidence. Know you are worth his effort and believe that you are worth his time.

If you second guess yourself, so will he. Own who you are and exude that attitude to make teasing a guy work for you.

9. Compliment him

One of the easiest ways you can tease a guy is with a compliment. Show him that you admire something about him without actually sharing how you feel.

You can say he looks great in blue, but that doesn’t mean you are attracted to him. It will flatter him but won’t give him a big ego. Even laughing at his jokes will work. [Read: 25 best compliments for guys he’ll never forget]

10. Use your space

Play with personal space. When you are teasing a guy, you don’t want to be a few feet away from him. You should offer a closeness that makes him wonder if you’re that near to him because you’re in a crowded bar or because you want to be.

You can lean in and whisper in his ear but then pull back. By playing with those boundaries, he is intrigued. But with that, never let a guy do anything you are uncomfortable with, and if that happens, tell him. You have to set your own boundaries and know when someone crosses them. [Read: How to encourage a guy to make the first move – 15 subtle but very speedy moves]

11. Know your timing

Intimacy is the end goal of teasing a guy. You don’t want to tease him endlessly. That will get old and annoying. You don’t want to be a tease, and you just want to tease him gently.

Teasing is a means to an end. That end is pleasure.

So be sure that you aren’t taking the teasing too far. If he says he likes you, or is clear with his intentions, pull back on the teasing and games. There is a time and a place for teasing, and it isn’t when he has been vulnerable with you.

12. Poke fun

You do not want to offend anyone, but poking a little fun at him is a great way to keep him on his toes. You want to make fun of him in a lighthearted manner that isn’t hitting below the belt.

For instance, joke about how he still texts using “u r” instead of spelling out the words. If he isn’t willing to try a new cuisine, you can mock his juvenile palate. These things are simple and small enough to not really mess with him, but will let him know you’re clever and will call him out. [Read: How to show a guy you like him but still be a real tease]

13. Touch him

This is definitely better advice for those already dating someone. You don’t want to do this to a guy you just met. It is over the line. But, if you are in the beginning stages of dating, this will send him over the edge.

If you’re sitting at a bar or table in a restaurant, gently rub his inner thigh. Do not go up too high. But, just that light touch gets him thinking about what might happen later and he will be drooling over you. [Read: How to tell if a guy is turned on – 22 signs he’s aroused AF]

14. Give him space

If you’ve been putting in all this effort to flirt and tease him and nothing is happening, give him space.

I’m not saying you should ghost him, but give him time to miss you. Don’t send him that meme that you know he’ll love. Don’t ask how his trip is going.

You can still like his posts, but keep it minimal. Just hold back a bit, and he should realize what he’s missing. Of course, it also doesn’t hurt to post a thirst trap during this time to really reel him in. [Read: The sexy thirst trap – How to master it and make him drool without looking trashy]

15. Walk away

Lastly, know how to exit without ruining the teasing part. Leaving him should be the final tease. You want him to watch you walk away, hoping you’ll turn around one more time. 

Don’t wait for the conversation to die down before heading out. Leave him wanting more. He should think about you later at the highest point of the night, not when things got awkward.

[Read: How to make a man chase you – 20 very subtle ways to make him fall hard]

Learning how to tease a guy in order to get him to try harder is not as easy as it sounds. But, once you master it, the guys will be falling over themselves for you.

The post How to Tease a Guy: 15 Ways to Make Him Realize He Likes You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Turn Offs for Women: 25 Things Guys Do That Girls Absolutely Hate

The turn offs for women are plentiful. If you do these things you will surely drive her away. Avoid these turn offs for girls if you want to date one.

Turn offs for women are everywhere. It’s not that women are picky or stuck up. There are a lot of things men do and have even been taught to do that are not endearing in the slightest.

If you don’t know what I mean, think back on some of the dates you’ve been on. The date’s going perfectly, but all of a sudden, something goes wrong, and she’s gone cold.

Ever been there? Well, the odds are you did something or said something that was a turn off for women.

The problem is you have been taught how to woo a woman by men. And I’m sorry you have to hear it from me, but… Men do not know everything about women. In fact, most of their magical pieces of wisdom are turn offs for girls.

Sure, every girl is different from one to the next. Some girls like a mysterious bad boy and others love a sensitive guy who wears his heart on his sleeve.

That may be true, but there are some things that are turn offs for girls, all girls. [Read: 9 reasons she’s just not that into you]

Prepare for these turns offs for women

The common battle cry we hear from men is that women don’t like good guys. Good guys finish last, they say. Or girls only date bad guys. Not only is just say that a turn off for girls, but also, it is wrong.

Yes, some girls date bad guys, sure. But I can guarantee that they didn’t know he was a bad guy when it started. And I can also guarantee you, and you are not as good of a guy as you think you are. [Read: Why the “nice guy” isn’t such a nice guy]

I’m sorry, but it is the truth. Hear me out. Sure you have good intentions, or so you believe, but dig a little deeper.

You have the elements that make up a good guy on paper. You pay for the date, hold the door, text first, etc. But, do you listen? Are you respectful of her time and space? Do you think being her friend is a punishment? Have you ever pressured her for sex?

If you answered yes, or hesitated to answer, the odds are that you are headlining some of these turns offs for women.

Have you used but I’m a nice guy or but I bought you dinner as a reason to get something in return from her? Do you claim to like a girl you barely know, so she puts out? Do you do things for her for the credit? Are you more of a Ross or a Joey?

*HINT HINT* You want to be a Joey. [Read: 20 qualities that truly make you a good man]

Turn offs for women

Obvious things like bad breath and cocky attitudes are turn offs for women, but it goes far beyond that.

Women want a genuine guy. A guy who cares for her regardless of what he gets in return is a decent guy. More than anything, women want respect. Anything but that is a turn off for women.

Even the “nicest” guy in the world can lack respect for women. So, whether you just met or you’re getting serious, be sure to avoid these turn offs for girls, or else you’ll chase her away.

But, remember, not all women are the same. In fact, believing we are, is one of many turn offs for women.

So, while I can’t tell you every girl’s personal preference, I can tell you what just about every girl is turned off by. [Read: What she really wants in a guy and how to become it]

1. Insecurity

One of the biggest turn offs for women is a guy who’s insecure about himself. If you’re not confident about yourself, it shows. Now, nerves are normal. Everyone gets nervous. But, insecurity is another thing entirely.

Being nervous comes with dating. But if you are insecure, you are putting out much more intense vibes. You might seem like you don’t deserve happiness. Or perhaps you make too many self-deprecating jokes. You may even seem harsh or rude because you’re frustrated with yourself.

Insecurities are deeply rooted. You can’t just turn them off. But, if you don’t want to be a turn off for girls, work on gaining self-confidence before jumping into the dating scene. [Read: 20 life hacks that’ll make you way more confident in real life]

2. Oversensitive guys

Being sensitive is wonderful. You should be in touch with your feelings and be able to connect with your emotions. That is what we want.

But, there is a difference between being sensitive and overly sensitive. Sensitive means you can be vulnerable and talk about important topics. Being overly sensitive means taking everything she says to heart. It means you are offended by things that aren’t about you. This is a major turn off for women.

For example, I briefly flirted with a guy who would be so worried if I didn’t say I like him. He would assume I didn’t like him if I didn’t come out and say it. Keep in mind I barely knew him. He would text me asking if he was bothering me and constantly say things like, “if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I get it.”

This is not being honest and open with your feelings. This is letting your sensitivities take over. [Read: How to stop pretending to be a nice guy who’s turning into a doormat]

3. Being cocky

Some guys think they have it all. And at some point, all the attention and the smothering from their parents and buddies make them assume they own the world.

They make idiotic statements and love talking about their own glorious deeds or misdeeds. Do you incessantly talk about how well you played a game or how many cars you own?

Congratulations! You just rang the turn offs for girls bell and rang it loudly.

You can say what you want, but things like this won’t get you anywhere. If this is you, all you’re doing is alerting gold diggers that you’re an easy target. [Read: How to spot girls who are gold diggers so you can avoid them]

Learn some humility, and you might have a shot. Stick to being pompous and you’ll be a turn off for women everywhere. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]

4. Being too touchy

It is sweet to put your arm around her if she is cold or hold her hand, but keep your hands to yourself on a first date. You can hug her hello and goodbye, but unless she specifically makes it clear and gives consent that she wants to be touched, hands-off!

Being touched without consent is a turn off for girls, all girls. I can guarantee it.

Don’t touch her hands across the table. Don’t brush her hair out of her face. Touching someone you barely know does not spark feelings. It turns on every girl’s high alert for Creeptown. Consent is vital!

5. Narcissists

We all love ourselves a little. Even if we hate ourselves, we love ourselves. We all get carried away talking about out families or jobs. It happens. But narcissism takes that a step further.

You probably think this isn’t you, but narcissists rarely know they are narcissists. If you are too busy looking at your phone to talk to her or spend more than half the date talking yourself up, you’re giving off those vibes.

If you really want a girl to like you, you need to let her get to know you, even the stuff you’re not proud of. Being too self-involved is one of the major turn offs for women. If you care about others, that will naturally come through.[Read: 15 traits of narcissistic men to recognize the signs in yourself]

6. Lack of manners

Mind your manners. Girls like a guy who knows his manners. Every kindergartener should know their manners, so there really is no excuse. Say please and thank you.

But it goes beyond that. If you can’t be a polite person, it is a turn off for women. These are basic societal norms and shouldn’t be that hard to follow.

You should be man enough to apologize or accept that you’re wrong. Let’s say you are talking about an actor in a movie, but you both claim a different actor starred in the role. When you look it up and find out, she’s right, be decent about it. Accept you were wrong and move on. If you were right, don’t be a sore winner either.

Learn to man up and remember, accepting that you’ve made a mistake is not a sign of weakness, but a strength [Read: The right time for a guy to call after the first date]

7. Overly enthusiastic

Don’t like her too fast. This isn’t endearing or sweet. It isn’t even flattering, rather it is a turn off for women.

Sure, she may be stunning, but you don’t know her. Acting like you’re in love solely based on her looks tells her you are shallow and have no real interest in getting to know her.

Even if you are liking what you are learning about her, slow down. If you take things too fast or overdo it by telling her how amazing she is, she will be turned off. You don’t want to scare her off.

I dated a guy once who was too into me. I know it sounds conceited, but he was. He would constantly throw compliments my way and act like we were in a relationship after two dates.

It wasn’t flattering because he didn’t actually know me. It made me feel like he wanted a girlfriend, and I was there, so he picked me. He would have behaved like this with anyone who had his number. So, do make her feel that way. It’s a huge turn off for girls. [Read: What is love bombing? How do you stop it?]

8. White lies

Little white lies might seem like a good way to impress a girl, but she will find out and it will be a turn off. Sure, white lies like, “I love your dress” are fine. But white lies about your job, your past, or even your future plans are not so sweet.

Lies like this lead to bigger lies.

When a girl finds out you lied, even about something small and insignificant, she will question you. I had a guy I dated tell me he would be on The Hills and film clips for Shark Week. Neither of these things were remotely true and when I found out, I was so thrown. Why even lie? Not only was I confused, but the level of turn off here was high.

If you are hoping to talk to her for more than an hour, this will not work out.

9. Mixed signals

Mixed signals may be one of the biggest turn offs for women there is. I’m serious. All women want is honesty. Be straightforward. No one wants mind games. The amount of effort it takes to date without all the confusion is enough. Who has the energy to be keeping it mysterious?

If you like her, tell her. Looking for something casual? Then don’t lead her on.

If you want a relationship down the road, let her know, so you don’t waste your time. No one wants to invest their time and energy into something that won’t work. Be honest about your intentions up front. You’ll get a lot more out of every interaction with a woman this way than if you are misleading. [Read: How to tell a girl you’re not interested in her like a gentleman]

Nearly every girl I know agrees that this is one of the most common turn offs for women. If you don’t know what you want, you can even say that, just be honest. [Read: How to subtly let a girl know you like her]

10. Misogyny

Misogyny in all its forms is not attractive. It is a huge turn off for the modern woman. Whether you are outright saying a woman’s place is in the kitchen or subtly hinting that a woman is a slut for dressing provocatively, it is bad.

Think about it. How is talking badly about women, even in an abstract way not going to be a turn off for girls?

Sure, everyone was raised in the patriarchy, so we all have some deep-rooted and subconscious sexism to face, but we should all be facing it. That includes you. [Read: 20 misogynist red flags that reveal a disrespectful sexist man]

11. Being close-minded

We all have our opinions, but not willing to hear her out is a turn off for girls. You don’t need to agree with everything she says, as I’m sure she won’t agree with everything you say. But, being open to hearing her take is what makes a good date.

If you shut her down when she argues your point, it is not a good look.

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking politics or which director of a superhero movie is best. Being close-minded won’t get you anywhere. If she is sharing her opinion, you not listening will be the definition of a turn off for women. [Read: How to express your opinions without being cocky]

12. Neediness

No one likes a stage five clinger. Whether you are headed out on your third date or are three months into the best relationship of your life, everyone needs space and independence.

You may be super into her, but texting her constantly is not the best way to show it.

In fact, smothering her is a major turn off for girls. If you want her to know you’re thinking about her, send her a funny meme at lunch. You don’t need to know where she is or who she is with. You don’t need to be on the phone for every car ride either.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. And neediness is a turn off for women. It also says you have some serious control issues. [Read: The serious warning signs of clingy guys and how you can avoid being one]

13. Jealousy

No, jealousy is not this cute thing a guy feels when he’s protective. Jealousy is brought on by a lack of trust and the concept of ownership.

No women wants to feel she is not in control of herself. If you are a jealous guy, get that under control before becoming a major turn off for women.

Remember when Ross was jealous of Rachel’s new job on Friends because of a made-up idea about a guy she worked with and because she was busy? That was insane. And that was jealousy. IT is not cute. Just watching those episodes is a turn off for women. It is possessive and creepy. Don’t do it. Either trust her or don’t. [Read: Learn how to stop being so jealous]

14. Ignorance

It is the 21st century. Ignorance is no longer bliss. Being educated about the world, cultures, and politics is sexy. It is a major turn off for girls to meet a guy who knows nothing of what is happening in the world, especially because he doesn’t want to be bothered. That is a privilege most people don’t have, including women.

See why this is a turn-off for women?

You should understand cultural appropriation, using the proper pronouns, and other important changes happening in the world. If you don’t care because you don’t have to, it will be a huge turn off for women, and for a good reason. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend all girls keep an eye on]

15. Blatant rudeness

Sometimes, we can be rude by accident. I’ve bumped into someone and been so caught up in my own world I didn’t apologize. But blatant rudeness is another story. Being rude is a turn off for women. If you’re rude to someone you barely know, how will you treat the people in your everyday life?

Lacking respect and manners towards service employees is unacceptable. Not tipping your server *in the US* is also not okay.

Be polite to strangers, essential workers, and just everyone. Snapping at someone who got your order wrong, spilled on you, or even was slow to help you is not just a turn off for girls. It is also a major red flag that often goes from rudeness to cruelty.

16. Being dismissive

Women have been ignored and silenced for so long. Please, do not play into that.

If she says she wants to meet at the restaurant for safety, don’t accuse her of being paranoid. If she doesn’t want to give you her address even after you’ve met, don’t call her crazy. Gaslighting her like this is one of the biggest turn offs for women.

Listen to what she has to say and try to understand. Dating from a woman’s perspective is very different than a guy’s. [Read: Why women want to meet men in public and why you need to respect this]

For you, the worst that could happen is it doesn’t work out, and you learn something. For her, she could be killed. I’m not exaggerating. I wish I were. Not being able to understand this concept, or even trying to, is a huge turn off for girls.

And this is just one example of how men can be dismissive of women when dating. [Read: Misconceptions about dating a feminist]

17. Being a poor listener

You should already know that this is a turn off for women. Whether she is a talker or not, you should be a good listener. It doesn’t take much to listen well.

This doesn’t mean you stare at her boobs and let her talk. It means you actively listen and interact with her when she speaks. If you like her, this shouldn’t be difficult. If you don’t want to be a turn off for women, focus on what she is saying.

18. Being too aggressive

This is a turn off for girls. And this is a turn off for women. Sure, some women like a guy who takes control, but that is not the same as being aggressive.

Being aggressive is inappropriate, unacceptable, and even illegal in many instances. If she says no, hints she wants to leave, or pulls away from you, do not push it. She could be kissing you, but that is not an invitation for more.

If she wants to slow things down but wants to keep kissing, don’t try to speed things up again. This is more than a turn off for women and girls, it is the move of a predator.

When in doubt, ask for consent. It is a pretty easy concept. [Read: When should you have sex?]

19. Going silent

We live in an age of online dating and texting being our main source of communication.

Going silent on her for days and then acting like it was no big deal is messed up. You are not taking her feelings into account which is a turn off for women. If you’ve made any sort of connection, she deserves at least a text saying you’re busy.

You don’t need to talk all day every day, but falling off the face of the earth is disrespectful.

We know you are on your phone and choosing not to respond for whatever reason. It is a turn off for women that will lead to her not texting you back.

20. Sex talk

One or two sex puns can be charming in a grungy comedian sort of way, but don’t push it. Unless you already know her sense of humor, talking about sex too much says that you only have one thing on the brain and that is a turn off for women.

Sure, women like sex too, but if you are still trying to woo her, bringing up sex consistently will not do it. If you bring up her body, what she’s wearing, or sexual experiences, it is a turn off for women, especially in the beginning. If that’s what you want, you may want to look elsewhere for your female entertainment. [Read: Sex-Positive Feminism: What it is and why we must support it]

21. Laziness

We all have lazy moments. I took a nap this afternoon. But being lazy occasionally and having lazy as a personality trait are not the same.

You should be motivated to do something. Whether you have a creative hobby, are dedicated to your job, or even better, volunteer having something you care about and focus on is hot.

Being a man-boy is a major turn off for girls. It isn’t that girls need a guy to bring home the bacon. It is about having a guy who can take action and make things happen. Lounging around in dirty sweatpants and playing video games is fine for a day off, but do this too often and it is a turn off for women. [Read: How to stop being a man child – 15 ways to man up and grow up]

22. Poor hygeine

I wasn’t even going to include this but based on some of my past dates, it still needs to be said. Brush your teeth. Shower daily. Wear deodorant. Wash your clothes.

This shouldn’t have to be said, guys. It is a turn off for women when you can’t take care of even the most minor of adult responsibilities. We don’t need you to manscape or be the next David Beckham, but taking care of yourself is a necessity.

23. Being judgmental

Not everyone has the same preferences. That is all fine and well. Maybe you like tattoos. Or perhaps you are into girls with long hair. To each their own.

But, just because you aren’t personally into something doesn’t mean you can judge others. If a girl is covered in tattoos and you don’t like that, you don’t have to, but you don’t really need to comment on it either. If you prefer a girl to have smooth legs without hair, cool, but you have no right to tell her what she should do with her body hair.

Every time a guy says something like tattoos are gross, girls with short hair aren’t attractive, or the worst, it’s unhygienic for women not to shave her legs, it is a major turn off for women. [Read: 30 signs you’re a shallow guy who can’t see past the superficial]

24. Being selfish

Being selfish when it comes to dates, sex, and more, is a turn off for girls. We all have the right to be a little selfish, but when you’re dating, compromise is so important. You have to be willing to meet halfway.

You can’t expect her to always bend to your will. When you want sushi, don’t assume she does. If you want to watch wrestling, don’t assume she will just because you want to. Ask what she wants, especially in bed. Sex and dating are about both of you, not just you. [Read: How to stop being selfish – 20 ways to stop hurting and using others]

25. Trash talking your ex

You might think that calling your ex crazy makes it seem like you’re over her. In fact, it does the opposite. And on top of that, it is a major turn off for women. When you trash talk your ex, you aren’t being honest or fair.

Relationships almost always end for more than one reason. When you call a girl crazy, all this new girl is thinking about is how when this ends, you’ll do the same to her.

[Read: Why you should talk about your exes early on]

When all is said and done, always remember these turn offs for women. There may be many more unique turn offs too, but it’s to each her own.

Want to be a great guy who’s a turn on and not a turn off for girls, use this guide on the 33 traits that makes the perfect boyfriend, and make sure you’re following them, whether you’re wooing a girl or in a relationship with her.

The post Turn Offs for Women: 25 Things Guys Do That Girls Absolutely Hate is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.