What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Unavailable? 19 Signs & Fixes

So, what does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? Is it really a thing, or it is just an excuse to avoid talking about how you feel?

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable in reality? Do you often find yourself dating someone who just won’t tell you how they feel? They hold everything inside and you’re left guessing? It’s frustrating, right?

You try to have a conversation and get them to open up, but even that brings zero results your way.

The truth is that not everyone is openly emotional, and some people are a little more held back. This can be for a variety of different reasons; it can be because of a bad experience in a past relationship, a negative upbringing, shyness, low confidence, or it can just be that they don’t really like to share how they feel verbally and prefer to use actions instead. Remember, we all have a different love language!

[Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and feel closer instantly]

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?

If you’re looking for some psychological definition, you’re going to struggle to find one.

Emotional unavailability isn’t a standard psychological term, rather it’s a description of how a particular person acts or reacts. 

Someone who is emotionally unavailable is extremely difficult to read. They’re a closed book, they don’t give anything away. In addition, they can be a bit flakey, passive, and they don’t want to engage in conversations that are related to feelings. If this type of conversation crops up, they’ll change the subject or close it down and walk away. 

[Read: How to recognize an emotionally distant partner and deal with them]

Why are people emotionally distant in a relationship?

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable in a relationship and why do they behave this way? This can be for two reasons.

Firstly, it can be that someone isn’t normally emotionally closed off, but for some reason, they’ve started acting in that way. Perhaps they’re struggling with stress, something has happened at work that has preoccupied their mind, or they’re feeling hurt, and hiding their emotions is the only way they know how to deal with it. It might also be that they feel that you won’t pay attention to them, so what is the point in sharing how they feel?

The other reason is that this is someone who has never been great at explaining how they feel. They prefer to show you through actions, such as cooking you a meal or checking you got home safely, but they aren’t comfortable with putting those feelings into words. 

Of course, a person who is emotionally unavailable is often someone who doesn’t want to commit or someone who finds commitment difficult. In this case, a past bad experience is often at the heart of it. 

[Read: The 12 obvious signs you *or your partner* is having big commitment issues]

The most frustrating signs of emotional unavailability 

If you feel like you’re emotionally unavailable, or have a partner who seems closed off completely and doesn’t try to emotionally connect with you, ask yourself if you see these signs in your partner or in the relationship.

If you want to know what it means to be emotionally unavailable, chances are, you’ll see a lot of these signs.

1. They don’t communicate well

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? To have a huge dislike for communication! A person who is emotionally unavailable is always wary that a conversation will turn towards something emotionally-linked.

They don’t like revealing too many details about themselves, and they prefer to keep everything lighthearted and easy to pass off as a joke. [Read: Why you feel lonely in a relationship and what’s the best thing to do about it]

2. Deep conversations end in a change of subject

If you try to have a deep and meaningful conversation with someone who is emotionally unavailable, you’re just going to end up extremely annoyed and frustrated.

They will change the subject often, and the more you try to steer it back on track, they’ll just cut the conversation dead and walk away. 

3. They often need space and feel smothered

Emotionally unavailable people aren’t going to spend long weekends in bed with you, talking about the past and planning the future. They will feel smothered and suffocated by such a situation.

Instead, they will flit in and out of your life.

One minute they’ll be there, and the next you won’t see them for a few days. They need space, and they don’t enjoy being around other people for too long at a time, even those they care about deep down. [Read: How to be emotionally available – 17 steps to break down your walls]

4. They don’t want to put a label on a relationship

Many emotionally unavailable people are very hard to pin down and don’t like to commit. As a result, they avoid putting any type of relationship label in place because that pins them down.

They prefer casual relationships that they can move in and out of, and that may not be what you’re looking for. Learning what does it mean to be emotionally unavailable will help you to avoid becoming stuck in love with someone who doesn’t want the same deep connection that you crave. 

5. They’re emotionally flakey

One minute they’re blowing hot and the next they’re on freezer mode. Emotionally unavailable people are extremely flakey and you’ll never know what to expect from them next.

As a result, the relationship can often feel like a rollercoaster of emotions for you; when they show you love and attention, you adore it, but when they blow cold, you feel lost. Many people become hooked on those who are emotionally unavailable because of the high when they do show attention. 

6. You never feel like you know what they want from you or where you stand

You’re never going to be 100% sure where you stand with someone who is emotionally closed off.

They’re not going to sit down and tell you how they feel about you, and you’re going to have to piece the puzzle together by yourself. Of course, that could lead you to incorrect assumptions.

You won’t know what they want from you and whether they’re on the same page. They’re simply very evasive when it comes to communication and emotional chats in particular. [Read: What steps do you need to take to tell your partner you are unhappy?]

7. They rarely drop everything for you

Emotionally unavailable people aren’t cold or hurtful people and underneath it all, of course, they have feelings. It’s simply that they don’t like to let them show.

This can lead to them not really being on the same emotional wavelength as you, which could mean that their actions are sometimes a little, shall we say, cold?

They’re not going to drop everything for you because that may lead you to believe that they care more than they want you to believe. 

8. They don’t talk about feelings

We mentioned that deep and meaningful conversations are likely to be shut down quickly, but you’ll find that those who are emotionally unavailable don’t like to talk about feelings at all, even those that aren’t connected with your relationship.

They’re not going to sit down with you and tell you how stressed they felt at work today and how they felt like their colleague was trying to steal their idea, etc. They will talk about facts and nothing else. [Read: How to express your feelings and get your point across the right way]

9. They may prefer to keep the relationship ‘open’ 

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable in a relationship? It means not really wanting a committed relationship or not feeling capable of having one.

As such, it’s likely that this type of person will want to have a casual or even ‘open’ relationship which allows them the freedom they crave. Again, this might not be what you want. 

10. They have no problem with cutting people out of their life

Being emotionally distant in this way means that this type of person doesn’t mind cutting people out of their lives if it makes things easier. Of course, this could lead to cutting the wrong person out and then regretting it. 

Sometimes, they may even ghost people because it’s easier to run away instead of talking about bad feelings. [Read: How to treat people better and live a happier life in return]

11. Being around them makes you feel frustrated

Probably the biggest sign that you’re dealing with someone who is emotionally unavailable is that you’ll feel extremely frustrated when you’re around them. You’ll never know where you stand and you’ll always be second guessing everything. 

How can someone become more emotionally available?

There is some good news amidst all this gloom. What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable has been covered, but how can someone become more emotionally available? With time and effort, it’s entirely possible. However, it’s important to know that you can’t force someone to open up emotionally, it has to come from them. 

If you’re someone who is a little emotionally closed off, let’s look at a few ways you can start to be more available and perhaps look towards more rewarding relationships in the future.

If you’re with someone who is emotionally unavailable, these steps will help you to support your lover’s efforts to open up more. 

1. Focus on communicating your needs

What is it that stops you from opening up? Is it a past experience or a belief you have about yourself? Having a strong and supportive partner will help you to voice your needs and beliefs.

As long as they’re able to sit and listen to you without judgment, you may feel that a weight has been lifted. 

2. See things from your partner’s point of view

Your partner isn’t trying to push you into something you’re not ready for, they simply want to know where they stand. Try to see things from their side and make their needs a priority in your life. [Read: 25 of the best relationship topics to discuss if you want a happy relationship]

3. Agree to take things slowly

Work at a pace that suits you and explain your boundaries to your partner. If they’re loving and keen to work with you on this, they’ll respect your timeline and your boundaries, and they won’t push you beyond your limits. 

4. Don’t be secretive if you want to be emotionally available

When you don’t open up about what’s going on in your life, it’s very easy for your partner to assume that you’re keeping secrets and up to no good.

The chances are that you’re not doing anything negative at all, but it doesn’t look that way. If you want to breed closeness and trust in your relationship, work on being more open and stop being secretive. Transparency is key. 

5. Have regular date nights and make time for one another

Set date nights and don’t cancel them. Always show up and be present in the moment. By making time for one another, you’ll become closer and feel you can trust your partner more. 

6. Be responsible for your emotional reactions

Your emotions are your own but when you don’t want to share them, it’s easy to become manipulative or explode with anger.

Remember that any actions you take as a result of your emotions are yours and yours alone. Take responsibility for these. Work on communicating rather than hiding things and letting them blow out of proportion. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

7. What does it mean to be emotionally available, it means taking a leap of faith

Perhaps the best thing to do is the most obvious. However, this is also the hardest step. Take a leap of faith and see where it goes. Use the other steps we’ve talked about to give you that comfort blanket for extra reassurance, and commit to just giving this whole thing a go. It might turn out to be the best thing you ever do. 

8. Seek assistance if you need it

If you have something in your past that is causing you to be emotionally unavailable in the here and now, seek help and perhaps think about therapy. This is a great way to unlock the past, deal with it, and move forwards to a brighter future. 

[Read: How to open up to people and learn to be vulnerable – Welcoming life in]

What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? Many different things depending upon the situation and the person! That’s why this subject is so confusing and frustrating to deal with. A deeper understanding is required, but it also needs a lot of effort on both parts too. 

The post What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Unavailable? 19 Signs & Fixes is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Compliment a Guy Subtly & 23 Tips to Get Him to Crush on You

​​Want to know how to compliment a guy subtly without appearing too eager, and leave him obsessed at the same time? These are the things you should say!

We know ladies love compliments, but learning how to compliment a guy is just as important too. Guys need flattery just as much, if not more, so if there’s something about him you like, don’t hold back. In fact, if you say it right even casually, chances are, he will only like you a lot more!

Women are not the only ones who love compliments. Guys love to be flattered and complimented and oohed and aahed over as well. But somehow, most men just don’t receive many compliments.

This could be due to the fact that many women think they need to play hard to get in order to grab male attention. But the truth is, using the right kind of compliments not only lets a guy know you’re impressed by him, but it’s also casual enough to leave him wanting more from you.

And what is the best way to make your interest known? A perfect compliment, of course.

[Read: How to make a man really happy -20 easy ways to leave him smitten and hooked]

Why it is so important to compliment a guy

Guys don’t get compliments as often as women do. Women get compliments from men and from other women, but guys don’t often compliment each other. Why? It probably has something to do with society and toxic masculinity, but that is a conversation for another day.

When a guy receives a compliment, it sticks with him. It isn’t just flattering as it passes, but it can boost his whole day. 

You may have noticed this about guys. Say you compliment his shirt or tell him it looks great with that haircut. He will wear that shirt a lot more often and keep that haircut for a long time!

Guys really appreciate compliments; although, they don’t often admit it out loud. This could be due to the fact that they don’t get them too often or just that they respect and admire your opinion. Either way, compliments are important for men.

[Read: 33 super-sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and leave him craving for you]

Men want to feel good and be seen too

Although guys often put on a mask of confidence, many are struggling with self-esteem, so a simple compliment about his style or ability can make his day.

The world has normalized complimenting and criticizing women on their looks, their talents, and more, but men don’t get that as intensely on either end. 

Not to mention, men are just as insecure as women when it comes to their looks. Has anyone ever criticized your outfit or your hair and then you are hyperaware and self-conscious about it? Men are the same. So, when a compliment comes, it is so refreshing. [Read: The 12 most common male insecurities most women don’t even know about]

But, just like women, the compliments need to be authentic and genuine.

Saying things like, “you’re handsome,” or, “nice eyes,” isn’t really giving that truly meaningful compliment. You would remember a compliment about your sense of style or sense of humor over a generic compliment, wouldn’t you? Men would too, so keep that in mind. 

Compliments are important to men for the same reason they’re important to women, so offering them every once in a while will always be a good move.

[Read: The signs of low self-esteem in a man that reveals his dark side]

How to compliment a guy without looking desperate

Many women think that giving a guy a compliment seems desperate. But that’s just not true. Just like asking a guy out isn’t desperate. Saying what you want and what you think isn’t desperate, it is confidence. Simply having the guts to compliment someone is bold and sexy. 

If a guy thinks you complimenting him means anything other than what it is, that is his problem. And honestly, if a guy thinks you’re desperate for offering him a compliment, then is he really the guy you wanted him to be?

Whether you’re friends or strangers or even dating, complimenting guys with confidence is the best way to do it. You don’t need to be flirty or charming or even graceful if that isn’t your aesthetic. Just be confident in your delivery and no one worth your time will think you’re desperate. 

[Read: The best ways to show a guy you like him and still be a real tease]

How to compliment a guy

Now that you know why compliments are so important and have been reassured that you will not seem desperate to any guy worth a compliment, you can get started on actually handing out those praises.

Remember, if you want to be subtle or want to hit him deeper than just a superficial “nice shirt” compliment, be genuine and go deeper. The deeper the compliment, the more sincere it would feel. And you’d only leave him thinking of you for a long time after you’ve said goodbye.

1. Compliment his efforts

It can become normal when a guy opens the door for you or simply clears your plate at breakfast because you’re rushing to work, but offering him a compliment for these small things shows him you notice and appreciate those things.

Just as you don’t want to be overlooked for the everyday things you do, offer the same acknowledgment to him. [Read: How to use words of affirmation and 20 examples of how to be affirming]

2. Compliment his listening

When you’ve had a rough day and need to vent and he just nods along and strokes your hair, compliment his listening.

Thank him for letting you vent without trying to fix anything. When he is there for you as a shoulder to cry on, a footrest, or an ear on the other end of the phone, let him know he’s a good listener, and you appreciate him just letting you vent.

3. Compliment his capabilities

Let him know he is capable. Boost his confidence. When he’s questioning if he’ll get a new job or if your parents will like him, give him a pep talk that is based in reality.

Explain why you know these things will work out. He makes people feel comfortable around him. He is trusting and genuine and puts people at ease. Remind him of all that. [Read: How to stroke a man’s ego and bring out the alpha in him]

4. Compliment his appearance

Wondering how to compliment guy and leave him smiling? You can’t go wrong complimenting his appearance! Notice when he’s wearing a new shirt or gets a haircut. Tell him what colors make his eyes pop.

Compliment his body or his endurance when it comes to exercise. Let him know how good he looks in a suit or just getting out of the shower. When you notice he looks good, say so.

5. Compliment him by showing him that you trust him

Trust is important to everyone. Showing him you trust him is a huge compliment.

Let him pick out something to decorate a room. Let him make the date plans. Tell him you need to let him make more plans because he always has such great ideas. [Read: 25 love-filled words to say “I appreciate you”]

6. Compliment his ability to have fun

We often compliment men on their dedication to work, which is great, but complimenting him on his carefree personality is just as important.

Let him know how much fun you have with him. Let him know he brings out the child in you and makes you forget about your troubles. When he turns chores into a silly game or makes waiting in line at the checkout enjoyable, let him know how much fun he is to be around.

7. Compliment how he makes you feel

Letting him know how he makes you feel is a compliment. If you want to know how to compliment a guy right, don’t just say “I love you.” Tell him you love how he makes you smile. Tell him how just waking up next to him means you know you’ll have a good day.

He wants to make you feel good, and letting him know that he is accomplishing that will not just make him smile, but will encourage him to keep being that great. [Read: The sweetest ways to make a guy feel needed and wanted]

8. Compliment his knowledge

Compliment his mind, his way of thinking. When you are working through something and he comes up with a clever idea, make sure he knows you were impressed.

When you need an answer to a question say, “You’re so smart. Can you help me with this?”

9. Compliment how he handles things

When you’ve been through stressful situations together, you usually just want it to calm down and move on. But, be sure to compliment him on how he handled it. Let him know he helped you relax in a stressful moment.

Let him know he was your rock or how impressed you were with how he remained level-headed in a difficult time. Even let him know how glad you were to see him open up about his emotions instead of shutting down when things got hard. [Read: 40 secrets on how to make your boyfriend feel lucky to date you]

10. Compliment his ability to communicate

Not only will complimenting his communication skills encourage him to continue on that path, but it will help him feel good leaving those conversations.

When you have an open and honest discussion about the future or your feelings, tell him how well he did and how glad you are that you can have these intense talks without getting angry or fighting. 

11. Compliment his bedroom skills

This should come as no surprise, but let him know when he makes your toes curl.

Don’t assume he knows from the sounds you make or the look on your face. Really let him know with your words during or after. This will not only improve your sex life so he keeps doing what you like, but it will boost his confidence as well. [Read: What men like in bed – 32 things they want and absolutely lust after]

12. Compliment his support

Compliment his ability to support you. Whether he pats you on the back for a job well done or supports you through a hard time, compliment his ability to know what you need. And if he doesn’t know, compliment him for asking what you need so he can get it right.

It can be hard to ask someone what they need. We tend to guess and hope we got it right because we feel we should already know. Asking takes a lot of courage. If he does, thank him for it.

13. Compliment directly

If you want to know how to compliment a guy in the best ways possible, be direct with your compliments. They can be through text, social media, or in person, but don’t make them subtle or hard to read. Be obvious.

You’re complimenting them, not trying to tell them they have food in their teeth. Being nervous or beating around the bush with a compliment makes it seem like you aren’t sure about what you’re saying. Be bold. [Read: 36 sweet and cute things to say to your boyfriend]

14. Compliment your bond

Compliment your connection. Let him know how happy you are with your relationship, even if that’s a friendship. Let him know that you love how close you are or that you work through disagreements calmly. Let him know that you love how you mesh.

15. Compliment his family and friends

This is a big one and is forgotten quite often. Make sure he knows you like his friends and family. Don’t assume he knows. These people are so important in his life and having the reassurance that you get along is important. 

Women can often complain about a man’s friends or family thinking it isn’t a big deal, and if something is wrong definitely say it, but also mention when things are going well. He will appreciate that effort.

16. Compliment his gentleness

Guys can be mocked for their gentleness in society, but make sure he feels proud of his sensitive side. Let him know you love how he is with kids and animals. Let him know you love how he takes care of you when you’re sick or check in when you’re having a rough day.

These things are strengths but many guys aren’t accustomed to hearing that. [Read: The unexpected benefits of dating sensitive men vs macho men]

17. Compliment his maturity

Let him know you’re proud of his maturity. Compliment his ability to take a stand and be a leader. Whether it is at home or at work or with his family, let him know you see how he handled responsibility and are impressed. 

Guys are often considered immature in a lot of ways, but let him know why you see him as a mature man. [Read: What age does a man emotionally mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]

18. Compliment his bond with others

Let him know how sweet you find his relationship with his brother or childhood best friend or even his parents. Let him know you admire that he has such strong bonds with people in his life.

You want to encourage his other relationships so he feels fulfilled, but also make sure he knows you don’t just approve but are honored to be able to witness such a beautiful connection.

19. Compliment his talents

You may have been shocked at his piano-playing abilities or cooking skills when you first met. But once you get used to it, it may become the norm. Don’t forget to compliment those things he’s amazing at. Inspire him. Be his muse. Remind him of all he can do.

Sure, you may be used to it, but it doesn’t mean what he can do is any less amazing. [Read: Twenty funny compliments your man will be dying to here]

20. Compliment his passion

Compliment what makes him happy. Whether his passion is collecting coins, rock climbing, or his philanthropic agenda, be sure he knows you are proud. Let him know how happy it makes you to see him following his passion. 

21. Compliment his physical strength

Let’s face it, all men want to be called strong by the woman they fancy! If he does something that shows off his brute strength, make sure you let him know.

When it comes to knowing how to compliment a guy for his strength, it could be as simple as opening a jar or pickle or something as hard as moving a very heavy piece of furniture all by himself. If he does something nice for you, and you can see his muscles bulging in the process, let him know!

22. Compliment his integrity

If there’s one thing men love, it’s being acknowledged for their fairness, dedication and integrity. If this guy has strong moral principles, and stands by them because he’s given you his word, let him know just how much you appreciate it.

Integrity is when a guy says he’ll meet you, but his car breaks down, but he still keeps his word even if that means walking the last mile in the rain. Flakiness is something we’ve learned to accept these days, but when a guy shows strong moral integrity, that’s a big sign of a great guy. [Read: 33 traits of an amazing boyfriend that makes him the best ever]

23. Compliment him over a text

Sometimes, compliments are best when you aren’t expecting them at all. If you think about him during the day and feel lucky to have him in your life, send him a text message out of the blue.

Totally not expecting something nice from anyone, a compliment for no reason via a text would turn around his whole day. He’s guaranteed to be smiling when he meets you in person! [Read: 40 romantic text messages for him that will leave him smiling all day]

Remember, when it comes to knowing how to compliment a guy, it has less to do with a specific moment and more to do with who he is as a person. Make a man feel warm in his heart when he hears your words, and he will fall harder for you, with each passing day!

The post How to Compliment a Guy Subtly & 23 Tips to Get Him to Crush on You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Am I in Love? 30 Signs to Read the Fuzzy Flutters After Infatuation

Being in love isn’t just butterflies in your stomach, but there’s more than meets the eye. So if you keep wondering, am I in love, here are signs to know.

Love is a wonderful feeling to experience. And anyone who’s ever fallen in any kind of love can tell you just how light and wonderful falling in love can make you feel. If you’re wondering, am I in love, there are concrete signs to let you know that what you’re feeling really is love and not just infatuation or lust.

But if you’ve just started to feel the twinge of the painful pleasure love causes, it’s not easy to decode it even if you’ve been in love before.

[Read: The 15 phases of a new relationship to define your budding romance]

So are you truly in love?

Love isn’t easy to explain because it comes in so many forms and stages. Contrary to popular belief, love doesn’t happen in just one stage. But it always starts the same way. It begins with that wonderful fuzzy feeling that leaves you feeling giddily happy, and with time, turns into something that’s more mature, long-lasting, and true.

There are different stages of love, and the honeymoon stage is just one of the first stages. This is where you feel the most excited, but that doesn’t mean the love fades away as you transition to other stages of love.

Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship will tell you that the excitement of the first stage will slowly transition into a warm and familiar feeling for the person you’re in love with. When you ask yourself, am I in love, and it turns out that you are, it truly is a wonderful and beautiful feeling.

How do you define love?

Contrary to popular belief, love isn’t just a feeling, but it’s a choice. It starts with a feeling, but the key to making relationships last is constantly choosing them every day. Love is not just a chemical in your brain or butterflies in your stomach. Although there is that fuzzy feeling when you initially fall for someone, love is more than that.

When you love someone, you’re willing to go to extreme lengths to make them happy. Defining love is more complicated than you realize, but you’ll know it when you feel it. While love is often confused with attachment and infatuation, love is different from them because it lasts for a lot longer than the infatuation period.

If you don’t feel anything for them anymore after the excitement stage, that’s not love. It was simply infatuation.

[Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if what you’re feeling is real]

Am I in love? – The most obvious love signs to decode that fuzzy feeling!

Love can be confusing, especially if you’re experiencing that feeling for the first time with someone new. It leaves you feeling scared and yet overwhelmingly excited.

Use these signs to find out if you’re in love, and if you do experience most of these signs, you’re truly and deeply in the first stage of love, in a perfect start to something that could change your life for the better, forever!

[Read: How to fall in love the right way like you’re in a fairytale and make love last longer]

1. Awesome and oh-so-perfect

When you start to fall in love with someone, everything about the person you like would seem so perfect. And every second longer that you stare, they just seem to get better and better!

They make you love life even more, and it’s like everything seems better than it already is. If you’re wondering, am I in love, ask yourself if you’re feeling extra-happy and delirious right now.

2. You can’t focus

You’re constantly distracted and have a hard time focusing on anything other than this new person in your life.

Everything other than your new lover, including your work, your friends, and your commitments starts to take a backseat. Your mind is constantly consumed with thoughts of them 24/7 but don’t worry, that’s normal when you’re falling in love with someone!

3. You feel selfless

Selflessness is a really massive indicator of how in love you feel with someone. We’re all selfish by nature but when we’re in love, we tend to be really giving and generous to the person we love. You can’t help but put this person’s needs before yours all the time.

You’re eager to sacrifice your wants just to see your new lover happy because watching them happy makes you happy. [Read: A cute true love story of selfless and unconditional love]

4. Mood swings and excitement

You’d feel excited all the time when you start falling in love with someone. But with that high of excitement also come the terribly painful lows of disappointment. After all,falling in love is similar to an addiction, and that’s always full of highs and lows!

So as happy and excited they make you feel, they can also make you feel very disappointed, even about little things *like forgetting to call you when they said they would*. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]

5. Daydreaming and fantasies

Your mind drifts away into fantasyland almost all day. You may be in the middle of an important meeting or having a conversation with friends, but your mind may involuntarily drift into a daydream about the last time you and your new lover did something together.

So if you’re wondering, am I in love, pay attention to how often you think of them all day. You might even be unaware you’re doing it in the first place!

6. There’s not enough time

When you’re falling in love with someone, time may stand still when both of you are together. But yet, there’s just not enough time to be with each other! This is also why time flies by so fast whenever you’re with the person you love.

It’s as if time speeds up whenever you’re together, and you can never get enough of every moment spent with them. It’s because you’re in love! [Read: 60 perfect get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]

7. They’re so cute

Everything about this person you love would start to seem charming or cute. It could be something as trivial as the way they run their hands through their hair, the way they scrunch their nose, or even the way they smile when you compliment them. If you’re wondering, am I in love, ask yourself if you find everything about them charming.

It’s nothing to be embarrassed about; you’re just really in love with them that you can’t help but admire their best qualities! [Read: 36 sweet things to say to your boyfriend and 50 really cute things to say to your girlfriend]

8. Jealousy and possessiveness

You’d feel very possessive of your lover. You may not always display your jealousy or your possessiveness to them, but you’d feel a twang of jealousy welling within you if you see your new lover having a conversation with an attractive someone.

This is because you can’t help but fear that they may fall for someone else and you want them to have eyes for you, and only you. That’s alright! As long as it’s not jealously in a controlling way, they might even find your jealousy cute! [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship & learn to overcome it]

9. Happy events

You create memories or try to compare anything both of you do together to something more beautiful, meaningful, and dramatic.

Something as trivial as having coffee together one evening could convince you that it is one of the happiest evenings of your life. Whether you end up doing nothing or everything together, every moment is worth cherishing for you.

10. Our place

If you’re falling in love with this person, you’d start naming places as “our place,” or “the place we laughed so much” or “the place which sells the cupcakes both of us love.” Doing that makes both of you feel closer, creates more together-memories faster and makes your relationship seem more meaningful and important, even if it’s only the infatuation stage.

You start resonating places with a memory you shared with them, and that’s because you’re in love! [Read: Top 50 date ideas to wow your date every time!]

11. Mesmerized

You’re mesmerized when you listen to them talk about something. You don’t want them to stop talking, and you could spend all day watching those lips move so beautifully while saying anything at all.

You could spend all day listening to them talk about everything, and you’d appreciate it wholeheartedly. If you’re wondering, am I in love, watch how mesmerized you get by them when they talk.

12. Spread the word

When you love someone, you can’t stop talking about them. You’d talk about how amazing they are, how wonderful you feel, and how romantic the world feels all of a sudden, with anyone and everyone who’s willing to listen to you.

When you’re with your friends, you can’t stop gushing about your new crush or partner. Your friends might even be sick of you talking about them all the time because of this!

13. Rolling in bed

Rolling around in bed is a definite sign of falling in love. When you start to fall for someone, the comfort of a soft, cozy bed would remind you of your new lover’s touch.

And every morning, you’d spend a few more minutes running your hands around your bed and fantasizing about how perfect it would be if your lover was in bed with you. Really, how perfect would waking up be if that were the case?! [Read: How men actually fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]

14. Your jaws hurt

No matter how hard you try, you can’t clamp that smile shut even if your jaws hurt. The world looks so beautiful, and everything in it just makes you smile and jump.

So if your jaws hurt from smiling and laughing with them, it’s a definite sign you’re in love!

15. Special times

You constantly think of ways to do something special for them. When you’re shopping, you feel like picking something up for them. When you’re having lunch with friends at a really nice place, you wonder how it would be to come to this place with your new boyfriend or girlfriend.

You really make sure to go out of your way just to make the day extra special for them. You don’t even hesitate to buy them a token of appreciation whenever you go out without them! [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures you could use everyday]

16. Your ex vanishes

You may have been haunted by the memories of your ex for several months, but all of a sudden your ex doesn’t hurt you anymore. In fact, they don’t even exist anymore!

When you’re wondering, am I in love, you no longer care about your ex nor think about them. Ever since this person came into your life, you’ve completely disregarded your ex for months.

17. You’ve found the one

No one else seems as attractive and perfect as your new partner anymore. You could walk into a club and see the most gorgeous people on earth, but somehow, none of them seem as exciting as the one you’re falling in love with.

If you’re wondering, am I in love, start thinking about if you see them as “the one.”

Whether you believe in the concept of soulmates or not, this person is suddenly making you more romantic and idealistic. [Read: 10 important reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon really sucks!]

18. Entangled hands

You just can’t keep your hands off this person when you’re with them. You hold hands while walking, talking, and even sitting at a restaurant. *even if that means you have to use only one hand to cut your steak!*

Especially when you’re still in the honeymoon phase, you find them completely irresistible and you just can’t keep your hands off them.

19. The big future

You make plans for the future, even if it’s only in your head. You imagine how wonderful the years ahead would be with this person in your life. If you’re wondering, am I in love, planning for the future in your mind is a huge indicator of your feelings.

You don’t just make plans for or with anyone, but you only do this for someone you love and want in your life forever! [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility for the long term]

20. You melt just a little bit

You can’t stop grinning or blushing while talking to this person you love. Their compliments make you blush. Their longing stares make you melt like butter. And their warm hugs just make you want to sink into them completely.

Everything they do makes your heart melt and soften in more ways than you can count. It’s because you’re in love with them – there’s no other explanation! [Quiz: Is your partner really in love with you too?]

21. Those love songs

You may hate love songs to begin with, but when you fall in love, you can’t help but listen to mushy love songs and visualize your own fairytale romance in them.

Somehow, love songs always make you feel more in love, especially if the lyrics seem to coincide with your own love story. You’ve never understood love songs more than you do right now! [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]

22. Your curiosity about them deepens

When you’re in love with someone, it’s only natural you’d want to get to know them further. Even if you constantly go on dates, you feel like it’s never enough to get to know them.

You anticipate hearing details about their personal life because it also means your connection deepens. In fact, you really love it when they open up about something personal as it deepens your knowledge about them.

23. You can’t wait for them to meet your loved ones

When you’re wondering, am I in love, watch how you can’t wait for the day you introduce them to all your loved ones. You can’t wait to show them off to all your friends and family because they’re so amazing!

You’re clearly smitten if this is the case. You only get this excited if you’re in love with someone, after all. [Read: Signs of falling in love – 25 sure-fire signs to watch out for]

24. You’re willing to see things from their perspective

When you’re in love with someone, you’re okay with seeing things from their perspective. Whether in arguments or just discussions in general, you don’t limit yourself to sticking to just your point of view.

You know that growth and love require expanding your outlook, especially for the person you love.

25. You change for the better

Love naturally makes you want to do better in life without them forcing it on you or controlling you. So if you’re wondering, am I in love, assess whether you see yourself changing for the better *because of them*.

You’ll know it’s love when you want yourself to do better, possibly to deserve them. [Read: 13 small changes that greatly improve your relationship]

26. You can be yourself

Love doesn’t try to control or change you, but it embraces every version of yourself. If you feel like you don’t have to pretend around them or wear a mask, that’s how you know it’s true love.

The fact you can be your most authentic self around them speaks volumes that what you have is real. [Read: How to be yourself – 14 steps to unfake your life & love being you]

27. The feelings remain even after the honeymoon stage

As we’ve mentioned earlier, the honeymoon stage is the phase of your relationship with the most excitement and adrenaline. This is because everything feels new, and you’re still getting familiar with each other.

Once this is over and the love for them remains, that’s how you know for sure it was never infatuation or attachment. It was and still is love. [Read: Honeymoon phase – How long before your love fades into nothing?]

28. They turn you on in all aspects

When they turn you on, this doesn’t just mean sexually, but also emotionally and mentally. If you’re wondering, am I in love, the way they turn you on shouldn’t be just limited in the physical sense.

Otherwise, that’s just lust or infatuation. They should turn you on in your entire being and everything you are. You’d literally feel a tingle of excitement and passion just thinking of them. [Read: 30 turn-ons for girls that’ll make them melt in your arms]

29. You meet them halfway

Compromise is a big word in relationships. When you love someone, you’re selfless, which should also mean you can meet them halfway.

While relationships are never 50/50, the fact that you try your best efforts to make them happy means you’re in love! You wouldn’t do this for someone you don’t care about, after all. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship & not feel like you lost out]

30. You don’t need to play games to get their attention

Finally, if you’re wondering, am I in love, there shouldn’t be any mind games or reverse psychology going on. If you or they have to work hard to keep the interest alive, that isn’t love.

One of you will eventually get tired of playing the game and quit. Real love requires no games whatsoever, just authenticity and sincerity of emotions.

[Read: How to know when you’re in love – 50 signs you can’t ignore]

So, are you in love?

Love is an emotion for a reason, and it’s because it uses your heart rather than logic. Sometimes, especially if you can relate to most of these signs, you need just to follow your heart! Especially if it’s real love, why not go for it?

The first stage of love, the infatuation stage, is always wonderful, full of romance and unquenchable passion.

And it’s a perfect step to pave the way into the next eight stages of love, which will only get better and more meaningful. But which stage are you in right now? Or are you even in love?

Take a look at these 9 stages of love in every relationship and you’ll know exactly where you are, and where you’ll be going next!

So are you still wondering if you’re in love? These ‘am-I-in-love?’ signs will help you figure out if it’s love you’re genuinely feeling, and not just infatuation or lust.

The post Am I in Love? 30 Signs to Read the Fuzzy Flutters After Infatuation is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The Group Approach Spill-Over Effect

When you talk to one group, others take note of you. This is the “spill over effect”: a way to meet more people by meeting other people first.

Contents

I. Start Talking to Girls

II. The Spill-Over Effect

1. Social Proofs

2. Plausible Deniability

3. Come Join Us

4. Naturally Meeting New People

III. Recap

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Last time I shared insights on building social micro momentum or “warming up” socially before going for the girl you really want.

Why is it a good idea to warm up?

• To eliminate approach anxiety

• To feel warmed-up socially so you approach girls confidently and smoothly, increasing your chances of success

• To acquire benefits like social proof and familiarity with girls so that you can re-engage later if needed

How do you build social momentum?

• Start early

• Select a warm venue if you feel like you are at risk of getting rejected

• Approach in the most indirect and risk-averse way possible. The goal is to keep a few conversations going here and there

• Interactions shouldn’t last less than five minutes or more than 20 minutes. Ideally, strive for 10 – 15 minutes

• Don’t approach the girl you want yet, since you do not want to waste the opportunity when warming up

Once you feel ready to play seriously, you will be warmed up. Now you can approach those hot girls. You don’t need warm-ups because hotter girls are harder to approach (but not necessarily). You are probably feeling more anxious about approaching them because you find them attractive.

After all, isn’t it better to approach a girl you like when you are warmed up and have higher chances of succeeding with your approach, rather than doing so when your social muscle is still cold, and your approach may be unsmooth?

Is He Attracted to Me? 22 Subtle Signs to Know if a Guy Desires You

People can be pretty good at hiding their feelings sometimes. If you’re wondering ‘is he attracted to me,’ here’s how to work it out for sure. 

Most women have encountered this question—is he attracted to me? You may be talking to a guy, but you can’t seem to figure out if he likes you. He could be really shy, unsure of how to approach you, or he could simply not be interested. Obviously, no option is ideal, but we’d rather take the first over the latter any day.

But for some men, you know right away where they stand with you, while others make you feel like you’re deciphering a code.

If you’re stuck trying to work out whether someone you’re crushing on likes you back or not, the good news is that there are some signs you can search for. While it may be harder to figure some guys out than others, it’s rarely totally impossible. You just need to open your mind and know what to look for!

[Read: Different types of attraction – Which is most vital for true love?]

Is he attracted to me?

Now, don’t think you have to actually decipher a code in order to see if he’s interested – it shouldn’t be that complex. But, you do have to pay attention to what he’s doing.

If he is shy, he’ll never approach you or outright flirt with you, that’s not his style. He may wait months, even years before he finds the courage to make a move! [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to get him to talk to you]

Of course, you don’t need to wait that long, because if you have some confidence that’s he crushing back, you can be the one to make the first move instead. So, let’s get you up to speed with what you need to look out for so you can answer the infamous question, is he attracted to me?

There are signs, you just need to keep your eyes open. [Read: Science of attraction – 17 things that are far more sexy than looks]

1. Don’t just look at one situation

You cannot base anything on one single situation that happened between you two. What you look for is a pattern. For example, say a guy smiles at you while you’re in line at the grocery store. That’s a good sign, but it still means nothing.

Now, you leave the grocery store and he walks by you and says something. That is a sign. He didn’t need to talk to you, but he went out of his way to do so. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]

2. Take small risks

Now, we’re not saying you need to confess your undying love for him and go down on your knee to propose. But you should take small risks to see if there’s a reaction. You want to do a little bit more than what you usually do.

So, if you like the coffee shop guy, instead of just saying hi, ask him how his weekend was. This is a small risk to see if he reacts positively. If he just nods and says, “It was good,” well, he’s not taking a step forward to match the risk you made. Again, he could be shy, but you’ll notice other signs besides if that’s the case. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him warm up]

3. He does something

If you chat away, and he just stands there nodding in silence, he’s not doing anything. If he is attracted to you, he will do something. By something, we mean, anything. He tries to keep the conversation going or start the conversation the next time he sees you. If you literally get nothing back in return, he’s not interested.

4. He hangs around you

If someone likes you, they want to spend time with you. It’s as simple as that. Now, maybe he’s too shy to ask you to hang out, so, feel free to make the first move. If he agrees to hang out with you, that’s a good sign. It doesn’t mean he likes you yet though.

However, if you two continue hanging out, then, take it as a sign that he’s attracted to you. Both, men and women, do not invest copious amounts of time with people they don’t find attractive. [Read: The 12 rules of attraction as explained by science]

5. He puts extra effort into his appearance

When you like a guy, you take the extra time to make sure you look your best, right? So, why wouldn’t he?

You notice he’s wearing cologne, a clean, stain-free shirt, fixed his hair. Though you may not think of it as a huge deal, it is. That is, unless, he’s already into his appearance. Then, you can’t really tell if it’s because of you or him.

6. He asks you questions

Because he wants to know more! He wants to know more about you, so he’s asking you what your favorite ice cream is, what your hobbies are—he’s trying to see what kind of person you are.

At this point, he is attracted to you, but if he digs for information then he’s trying to work out if you’re someone he could see himself with. [Read: 75 flirty questions to ask your crush and make them think of you]

7. He compliments you

Now, men compliment women all the time, so, we wouldn’t take this one sign with huge importance. It means that they may be attracted to you, but are they interested in you?

It could be that he just wants to get you into bed, which we guess technically means he’s attracted to you. Anyways, the point is, if he notices your new haircut or says that he likes your shirt, it means he’s watching you. [Read: 20 clear signs of attraction in a first conversation]

8. He touches you

We don’t mean that he grabs your ass. If that happens, obviously, he’s attracted to you but he clearly doesn’t respect you.

We mean that he touches your arm or puts his hand on your back when you walk past him. These are respectful moments of physical contact but really show that he’s attracted to you and values you. That is much different from him just wanting to sleep with you.

9. He stands close to you

It’s not that he’s invading your personal space, but basically, he’s entering your personal space in a good way. If he’s attracted to you, you notice he sits closer to you than other guys.

Now, you can test this out by moving closer to him.

For example, if you sit next to each other, slide closer to him to show him something on your phone. If he doesn’t move away for more space between you two, it’s a good sign that he’s into you. If he inches even closer, that’s an even bigger answer to your question, is he attracted to me? [Read: 16 giveaways to watch for if he’s attracted to you]

10. He often makes eye contact

From experience, do you often look into the eyes of a guy who you don’t like? You might look at them, but you don’t do any prolonged glances in their direction. Why? Because it makes you feel uncomfortable and it gives off the wrong vibe.

Eye contact is a very important part of attraction. If he gives you an ample amount of eye contact, that’s usually done when there’s a romantic interest. Have you ever been around a guy who doesn’t like you? Yeah, he doesn’t even look at you. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]

11. He’s all about smiling

When you’re around someone who makes you feel good, you can’t help but smile. Smiling is another important sign of attraction and warmth between two people, especially if there’s romantic interest involved. Men and women tend to smile naturally when they’re around someone they like.

But, if he only smiles with his mouth closed, there’s a high chance of him doing so just to be polite. [Read: Is he just shy or not interested? 15 ways to decode his behavior]

12. He flirts a lot

If he’s shy, he may not be able to flirt with you, but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested. But, if he’s not the shy type, then he’ll probably try to flirt with you.

Now, flirting is not enough of a sign to show that he’s into you. You might find yourself flirting with many people that you have no intention of being with sometimes, probably without even realizing it.

But what happens at the end of your conversation? Does it just end there? Or does he try to subtly ask you out or wish to see you again? [Read: 14 ways to know for sure if a guy is flirting with you]

13. You share similiar interests and he tries to connect with you based on those things

There’s a high chance that if you share similar interests with him, you both will find each other more attractive. For example, you tell him you love to watch basketball and then he says he loves basketball as well. This is him telling you, you have something in common.

If he didn’t want to connect with you, he wouldn’t be sharing this information with you. Instead, he would just nod his head and say “cool.” Then, he’ll try to connect with you based on the things you have in common, to take the conversation further.

14. He’s pretty protective of you

We don’t mean this in a controlling and obsessive way, if you notice those signs then you shouldn’t be trying to figure out if he likes you. You should run away in the opposite direction.

By protective, we mean if someone treats you disrespectfully, he steps in or makes sure you get home safely. That is being protective in a completely healthy and respectful way. [Read: The damsel in distress – Why all good men find them irresistible]

15. He shares his emotions with you

Despite what you might think, men are emotional. It’s just that often, they simply choose not to show it. If a man decides to share his feelings and emotions with you, this is usually a very big step for him. This means he trusts you and is most likely attracted to you. Sharing emotions is a crucial factor in connecting with someone. He let his guard down and wants you to see who he is.

16. He stares at you

We mentioned eye contact, but this is a little different. You probably notice this when you quickly catch a glimpse of him. When you really like someone, you probably won’t be able to stop looking at them.

So, for him, he’s having a hard time keeping himself in check. He may look away quickly or he could even hold eye contact with you after you catch him staring at you. Basically, he’s not just making eye contact, he’s admiring you. [Read: Signs a man is in love: 17 gestures that are louder than words]

17. He uses his manners

When he’s around his friends, he farts, burps, and talks bullshit. But when you’re around, he’s a little more low-key. He’s not burping, he’s holding those farts in, and instead, he’s asking you if you’re hungry or cold. For sure, he might just be a pretty well-mannered guy, but you’ll be able to tell the difference.

Now, you shouldn’t expect him to pull your chair out for you or throw his jacket on a puddle so you can walk over it—this isn’t the 1950s. But you’ll notice his manners coming out more when he’s around you. [Read: Proper social etiquette – 12 rules that redefine modern manners]

18. He tries to impress you

When a guy is attracted to you, he’d subconsciously try to impress you, it’s what evolution has taught him!

He may try to show off his physical prowess by lifting something heavy, or he may go out of his way to do you a favor. It doesn’t matter how small or big it is, if a man is attracted to you, he’d do everything he possibly can to make himself seem like the perfect example of a gentleman. [Read: What is chivalry? The knight’s code and modern men]

19. He texts you often

Does he text you good morning or even good night?

Why would a guy do this often, or even everyday, unless he’s totally smitten by you already? If a guy goes out of his way to stay in touch, and even initiates conversations just because, chances are, he’s trying to impress you.

20. He uses social media to flirt

Social media is a huge blessing for flirty friends. You don’t even have to directly tell someone you like them, all you need to do is share memes with them every day.

And then, in the middle of all those funny memes, he may slip in something complimentary, flirty, or even sexual. Of course, it’s a joke because it’s a meme. But if he’s doing this very often, odds are he’s attracted to you and is trying to drop a few hints to see how you’ll react to it.

21. He tries to spend alone time with you

Does he linger back and hang around even after all your other friends leave? If a guy tries everything he possibly can to spend time alone with you, even if it means dropping you off at home, or walking you home, or even arriving early if it means he can spend time with you, he’s more than just attracted to you.

He’s clearly fallen hard, and is doing everything he possibly can to slip out of the friend zone. [Read: 14 naughty ways to slip out of the friend zone in no time]

22. He asks you out casually

He may not want to ruin it all by asking you out on a date directly. But if you’re wondering, is he attracted to me, ask yourself if he asks you out casually all the time?

Does he text you one evening asking you if you’re bored *because he apparently is* and would like to hang out? Does he talk about a new restaurant he’d like to check out with you?

If a guy is attracted to you, he’s going to casually ask you out often. And somehow, it’s always just you two and no one else on that outing!

Wondering if a guy likes you sexually as well? Check out this guide on the 26 very obvious signs a guy is attracted to you sexually and desperately desires you!

So, he’s crushing back, what should you do?

You’ve been trying to work out the answer to ‘is he attracted to me’ and you’re pretty sure that, based on these signs, he is. So, what now? Put the poor guy out of his misery, that’s what!

Show him that you share his attraction and he’ll probably ask you out. Or, if you’re not into waiting and you want to take the initiative, just go on and ask him out instead. You know you want to! 

[Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested in him without appearing overeager]

Now that you know the signs, can you answer the question of ‘is he attracted to me?’ Are you seeing several of these signs? If so, there’s a very good chance he’s attracted to you!

The post Is He Attracted to Me? 22 Subtle Signs to Know if a Guy Desires You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Toxic Girlfriend: 17 Warning Signs the Girl You Like is Toxic AF

At first, she was wonderful but now you worry she’s trying into a toxic girlfriend. How do you know? Understand the toxic girlfriend signs and get out! 

Sometimes we act a certain way because of the past. Things happen and they change us. Then, you might end up exhibiting toxic behaviors without actually realizing what you’re doing. Of course, it could also be that you’re in a relationship with a toxic girlfriend and that’s simply the way she is.

Maybe you didn’t see it at first but now her true colors are showing. Whatever the background or reason, it’s important to know the signs of a toxic girlfriend so you can either address the issue and try to change it, or get the hell on out of there!

You might not want to believe that your girlfriend is acting in a toxic way but if she’s showing the key signs and it’s making you miserable, surely you need to do something?

Relationships are supposed to be loving and enjoyable. They’re not supposed to be an up and down rollercoaster ride full of emotions that swing from one end of the spectrum to the other. [Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

What is a toxic girlfriend?

A toxic girlfriend isn’t always a bad human being, but she is someone who is inherently filled with flaws and wrong ideas about love. Her expectations, her willingness to share and give in the relationship, and her needs in love are totally unrealistic and out of balance. She expects a lot, but gives very little in return.

A toxic girlfriend could be a great person, or even a very good friend. But when a girl has a skewed notion about love and relationships, it inherently shows in the way she behaves with her boyfriend or partner. And eventually, what could have been a perfect relationship leaves her and you frustrated, angry, and totally miserable!

Can a toxic girlfriend change?

This is a key question. If you notice that your girlfriend is showing the signs of a toxic girlfriend, will the situation ever improve?

The answer is that it can, but it really depends upon the girl.

If she’s a truly toxic girlfriend, then those habits could be so ingrained in her personality that it’s impossible for her to change. In that situation, you’re looking at the end of the road if you actually want to have a healthy and happy relationship.

However, if she’s acting a certain way because she’s upset by something or because something in the past has caused her to be a certain way, these are things that can be changed.

In order to create that change, you need to sit down and have an open, honest, and blame-free conversation. [Read: How to have difficult conversations without losing your nerve]

It’s not going to be an easy chat. You need to make sure that you don’t fire the finger of blame at her and make her feel like she’s a terrible girlfriend. Remember, she might not realize that she’s turning into a toxic girlfriend.

Use “I” statements, such as “I feel”, rather than “You do this, you do that”. If she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll want to work with you to make a change. You’ll need to support her and be understanding, but there is a chink of hope on the horizon.

The main signs of a toxic girlfriend to look out for

Maybe she’s not ready for a healthy relationship right now, maybe she’s totally unaware of what she’s doing. But, she needs to do some soul searching.

If you see these signs in her, this doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. However, it does mean you should avoid going into a relationship with her, or you need to have a conversation if you’re already in deep. [Read: 15 scary signs you’re in a toxic relationship that’s breaking you]

1. She believes that love is the most important thing in the world

When you first read that, you might be wondering how that can be a bad thing, but wait a second. She doesn’t believe she can be happy unless she finds herself someone to be with.

For her, love is the biggest goal in her life. And this can place her in positions of being with people she doesn’t truly love. It’s a desperate kind of goal and one that means she’s likely to become needy and very clingy.

2. Her idea of love is very shallow

When you ask her about love and what she thinks of it, her answers are shallow. Her idea of love is based on what she’s seen on TV or read in romance books. There’s not a strong sense of reality in her definition.

She doesn’t talk about the struggles and obstacles people in relationships need to work through. That means your relationship is going to be rocky from the start because she doesn’t know what she’s getting into. [Read: What is love? How to recognize it when you see it]

3. She lets go of her boundaries too easily

She has boundaries, but they’re all over the place. No one really knows what she wants or what she’s looking for because she doesn’t even know herself.

Her boundaries are inconsistent, which is what brings on the drama and causes you a major issue from the very start.

4. Her view of what a relatonship should be is very unrealistic

She wants to be chased by a man in the rain or proposed to on a baseball field after two dates. She’s watched way too many Disney films and she doesn’t have realistic views of love going on in her head.

She lives in her imagination, loving the drama and fantasy of what she sees in chick flicks. Of course, it’s not possible to recreate these images in a real and meaningful way. That’s not what love is about so your relationship is never going to really click and be about anything more than make-believe. [Read: 18 tips to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairy tale]

5. She hasn’t learned from her past

She makes the same mistakes over and over again. If you ask about her dating history, you’ll notice all her stories have the same plot.

Her ex treated her badly, yet, she never mentions her own behavior or responsibility in the relationship. [Read: 18 sure signs the girl you like is just using you!]

6. She craves and loves attention

Actually, it’s not that she loves it; she needs it. If she’s always texting you or calling you a couple of times a day, she’s craving attention. This is because she’s empty inside and needs something to fill herself.

Instead of self-reflecting, she looks outwards. Again, you’re looking at a pretty needy girlfriend coming your way and it’s one of the toxic girlfriend signs you need to be on the lookout for.

7. The smallest thing feels like the end of the world

She lost her earring or accidentally tripped going up the stairs – either of those actions would destroy her day. When things don’t go according to plan, she can’t handle it. She struggles to adapt to situations that aren’t flowing exactly how she pictured them. [Read: 11 types of girls you should avoid falling for at all costs]

8. She has a history of dating men who trigger her issues

She just can’t get enough of them! Of course, she chooses these types of guys because this is what she knows. The emotionally distant ones, the abusive men, these are the types of people she goes to because they’re also toxic.

She might not be aware that she’s actually doing it, but she simply pushes herself back into the same negative situations time and time again.

9. She falls deep, very fast

She gives all of herself into her relationships, even to the point where she doesn’t know who she is. And the reason is that she doesn’t have a strong sense of self from the outset.

When you don’t know who you are, it’s easy to lose yourself in someone else’s hands. She wants to spend every moment with her partner, never letting them go.

10. She lacks self-awareness

If she was aware of herself, she wouldn’t keep dating the same guys over and over again. But toxic girls lack this self-awareness, always falling into their old ways. This goes beyond her dating life.

This lack of self-awareness runs through all aspects of her life and it’s going to cause you some pretty big problems over time. [Read: How to be yourself – 14 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

11. She relies on her partner for self-esteem

On her own, she has very little self-worth or respect for herself. But if her partner thinks she’s beautiful, then she is. She depends on her partner for her own self-validation, and that’s a scary thing.

Without a partner by her side, she questions who she is and her worth in the world. [Read: How to deal with a needy girlfriend and help her feel secure]

12. Nothing you do is good enough

You could give her the world, and she still wouldn’t be impressed. This is because, for toxic women, nothing is good enough for them.

They keep wanting more and more, yet they don’t understand why they’re not happy. She has an emptiness inside of her that cannot be filled with outside people or objects.

13. She doesn’t understand how to compromise

Relationships are about compromise and if you’re with a girl who simply doesn’t know what the word means, it’s not going to go well.

A toxic girlfriend wants everything her way and will not bend in any way, shape, or form. There will be no meeting you halfway or doing what you want to do on one occasion and what she wants the next. It’s all about her. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

14. Her opinion is worth much more than yours

This isn’t just one of the signs of a toxic girlfriend, it’s one of the signs of a narcissist! If your opinion is worth nothing and hers is basically the truth, the way it is, then you need to start questioning your part in this relationship.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and it should be respected and considered. If she’s not willing to do this, she’s toxic. 

15. She would much rather argue than talk

Every couple argues occasionally, but if every single conversation you try to have ends in a row, there’s something very wrong.

One of the signs of a toxic girlfriend is that she would rather argue and shout over you than sit down and have a grown-up conversation. She’s not good at communication at all and that is just going to signal the end of your relationship pretty quickly. [Read: Relationship arguments – 23 do’s and don’ts to remember]

16. She deflects conversations about her feelings

She just can’t talk about her feelings or reasons for doing something. Instead, she deflects and either turns the situation around on you or turns to humor instead.

She’s terrible at communication and there may be an underlying reason why, but can you handle waiting for her to share it? If she can’t talk about how she feels at any point, you’re looking at a toxic girlfriend. 

17. She’s super-materialistic

To her, looks are everything. She has to have the latest gadget, the best car, the best looking partner, basically the best of everything. She wants people to turn and think “wow, look at her” and be envious of the things she has and how she looks.

She’s not that interested in personality and depth. A materialistic relationship is going to fizzle out pretty quickly. [Read: 16 things you need to give up to have a happier life]

We can all be slightly toxic sometimes

If you’re nodding along to one or two of these signs shown occasionally, it’s nothing to worry about. We can all be a little toxic occasionally. However, if you notice that these signs come your way regularly or there are more than just one or two, you need to seriously consider your next move. 

Do you want to stay in a relationship with a girl who’s toxic? If you sit down and talk to your girlfriend, do you think it will change anything? Only you know the answer, but never stick around and put up with a situation that simply drips in toxicity. 

[Read: What is a toxic relationship? Know the signs and how to get out]

If you’re noticing that the girl you’re dating is exhibiting these signs, the odds are she’s going to be a toxic girlfriend. You can try to help her change, but if that doesn’t work, perhaps it’s time to leave. Or she will drag you along as she goes down the slippery slope!

The post Toxic Girlfriend: 17 Warning Signs the Girl You Like is Toxic AF is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.