Why Girls Suddenly 'Pop Back Up' Again

She quit responding to your texts, but then, months later, there she is, messaging you to meet up. What happened, and why did she reappear?

Remember that girl you were texting a couple months ago, who kept dodging your date requests, then eventually ghosted you completely?

Well, she just texted you again, and now it seems like she wants to meet.

What the heck happened?

Should you accept her invitation after that, well, period of darkness she put you through?

There's a simple explanation for why women go through these 'dark periods', and once you understand it, you probably won't take them too personally.

That explanation is this:

She started seeing some other guy, and dropped off the map.

However, she has now stopped seeing him, and she's back on the map again.

How to Compete with the Other Guys Texting Her

As more and more men crowd into women’s profiles and messages, how do you get a girl’s attention on the phone? By declining to compete the ordinary ways.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Contents

I. Texting: An Economic Perspective

II. How to Play in a Competitive Market

1. Have The Best Product and Become a Texting God

2. Minimal Texting

3. Video Messages

III. Conclusion

Earlier this year, I discussed how neo-direct game makes everything much harder. It can trigger premature rejections as women display high standards from being in a position of power, which you put them in by showing too much interest too early.

Because of the surge of neo-direct game, many men who experiment with cold approach pickup would face harsh rejections and find women acting testy and displaying insanely high standards (because men put them in a position where they do so).

To add to the frustration, the popularization of online dating apps such as Tinder have a bad male-to-female ratio (over 70% of men). Plus, women often use Tinder to promote their Instagram. It is discouraging to be ignored constantly and not receive likes and not have girls respond to your messages.

So men feel that women have high standards:

• Men don’t get results and are ignored on Tinder

• Men get rejected prematurely in real life from using the wrong approach

• Women are in a powerful position to do so due to the frame men set

But there is another dimension I would like to discuss here.

Let’s say, after plenty of harsh rejections in real life, that a guy finally gets a decent hook out of luck.

Now that is awesome! I am happy for him.

He takes her number. He texts her. No response. Or maybe she responds, but now she doesn’t seem nearly as interested. And maybe when the time comes, she flakes.

We have seen an epidemic of flakes lately. There’s a reason why texting products are in high demand. It’s extremely frustrating not to get a response from a girl you thought you had a good shot with, but when she flakes, it is devastating.

This is the subject I want to discuss today. I will not cover the basics for why women may flake, which could be summarized as:

• Her mood may change when you are not around. She was stimulated when you met her, but tomorrow is a different day, and she’s in a different mood.

• As time has passed, she may have forgotten how you made her feel. Her compliance lowers.

• Because of the limitations of texting (she can’t hear your voice, see your face, and vice versa) and you are not communicating in real-time, you cannot calibrate on the spot.

So she may flake.

But something has changed over the years. Back in the day, a solid interaction and some good texting would have a higher chance of leading to a meet-up than today. Of course, flakes always occur. That’s just the way things are. But things have gotten worse.

Why is that? And what can we do about it?

28 Signs of a Bad Girlfriend & How to Spot a Girl Who’s Bad For You

If you are wondering about the signs of a bad girlfriend, then you probably already know. But here is what you need to know to confirm your suspicions.

When in a relationship, we all tend to wear rose-colored glasses and guys might not notice the signs of a bad girlfriend in the beginning. That means that even when something is off, we overlook it for the sake of the relationship. 

That is fine when your girlfriend leaves her hair in the shower drain, but when things go from little pet peeves to actual signs of a bad girlfriend, you need to make a change or realize you deserve better.

[Read: 15 types of bad girlfriends who will make your life hell]

The early signs of a bad girlfriend you already know

If you are reading this feature, it is likely you have seen or subconsciously realized these signs of a bad girlfriend. You just want to be sure before doing anything drastic.

If something was gnawing at you enough to do the research, you probably already know the truth. But if you need more reassurance or for us to tell you that you’re overreacting, keep on reading.

How do you spot a girl who is bad for you?

Recognizing the signs of a bad girlfriend is not always so obvious. A bad girlfriend does not have to be someone that is cruel or cheating. It can be a lot more subtle than that.

But where do you begin to look?

1. In the mirror

Are you happy? Reflect on yourself. If you are not happy in your relationship, there is a reason. Yes, maybe you have been in a rut or it is long distance. But if she is not making you happy, is it worth it?

This doesn’t necessarily mean she is a bad person, but maybe she is a bad girlfriend for you. [Read: The steps to take to tell your partner you are unhappy]

2. At your friends

Your friends and family are the first ones to notice when there are early signs of a bad girlfriend. Before you even notice it yourself, they will. So if you aren’t sure, ask them.

You may constantly complain about her or bring every conversation back to her, or vent about her nonstop. Your friends are the ones that pay attention to this.

If they hear more bad than good about your girlfriend, she probably isn’t the best. [Read: 21 secrets of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]

3. To the past

Think back to when you first got together. Did she surprise you with your coffee order or with tickets to your favorite band? Or maybe she just checked in during lunch or sent cute texts.

If all that stopped, it doesn’t necessarily mean she is a bad girlfriend. Ruts happen. But if she is not putting effort into the relationship or you, she is not a good girlfriend.

4. At your schedule

We all love hanging out with our partners. But if all of your spare time goes to her, and you rarely see your friends and family, something is off.

And vice versa. If she never makes time for you, that isn’t good either. [Read: 21 signs of a needy girlfriend and the best ways to love her better]

5. Social media

We hate to say it, but nowadays social media can be an indicator of something bigger. No, it does not represent real life, but it does show patterns. Does she never post pictures of you together?

Does she comment on other guys’ photos or like their comments on hers? This is not a clear-cut sign, but use your common sense. [Read: Why your girlfriend flirts with other guys when she already has you]

What are the signs of a bad girlfriend?

Now that you know something’s not right in your relationship, what is it exactly that you are looking for? Maybe seeing one or two of these signs of a bad girlfriend is not the end of things. You may even be able to talk to her and work things out.

But if as you read this list, you realize these things describe your girlfriend more often than not, she is probably a bad girlfriend, at least for you. And sometimes, you really don’t have an option but to let go.

1. She doesn’t listen

Sometimes we all struggle to listen. But if she consistently talks over you or makes her problems seem worse than yours, that is one of those clear signs of a bad girlfriend.

A girl that doesn’t listen may not care about you and what you are going through as much as a girlfriend should or a good girlfriend would. [Read: Is she emotionally detached? 15 signs she doesn’t care about you at all]

2. She isn’t there for you

When you have a girlfriend, she should be there for you just like you are for her. But if you vent to her about work or your family and she dismisses you, that is a sign of a bad girlfriend.

If this happens on occasion, she may just be stressed or tired or dealing with something herself. But if this is a pattern, you deserve a better girlfriend.

3. She cancels plans

Canceling plans is not a relationship sin. Things come up. But if she consistently blows you off, especially at the last minute, she is not appreciating her time with you, the commitment she made, or you.

She also thinks there is something better to do. The same goes for if she leaves plans open-ended and never fully commits. [Read: Got flaky people in your life? Here are the reasons to ditch them]

4. She avoids your family and friends

A good girlfriend would want to spend time with the people closest to you. Yes, sometimes we don’t like your weird friends or your overbearing mother, but a good girlfriend puts the effort in any way.

One of the signs of a bad girlfriend is if you ask her to come to hang out with your friends or come to dinner with the family and she declines. Plus, if she can’t give you a decent reason why not, or worse expects you to do these things for her… bad girlfriend alert.

5. She tries to change you

All girlfriends may want to buy their boyfriend some new clothes or get him out of those cargo shorts from high school, but when it goes beyond that, she does not love you for you.

It is normal to want to make your boyfriend the best version of himself. But when he resists, you love him anyway, if you’re a good girlfriend.

If she keeps trying to change you, from your clothes to your job and even your hobbies or taste in music, she loves you conditionally. [Read: The types of girls you should avoid at all costs]

6. Your friends don’t like her

Sometimes, we have to overlook what our friends and family think to satisfy our hearts. But usually, when the people closest to you see something sketchy, it isn’t to be ignored.

Your friends are looking out for you and tend to see the signs of a bad girlfriend even when you can’t. So, although their opinions don’t mean everything, they can be awfully eye-opening.

7. She is controlling

Does she always want to know where you are and who you’re with? Does she try to check your phone or analyze every female friend you have?

This is not only bad girlfriend behavior, but it is a sign of someone who does not trust you. [Read: 24 scary signs of a controlling girlfriend and how to take a stand]

8. She is using you

If you think your girlfriend is out of your league or it is too good to be true, sorry, but it may very well be. Girls may come across as innocent, but they have less than good intentions sometimes too!

If she only wants you around in a certain group, or ignores you until it is convenient for her, that is a major sign of a bad girlfriend. [Read: 20 signs she’s leading you on, using you and only pretending to love you]

9. She is a perfectionist

We don’t mean at work or when it comes to organizing her cupboard. But if she makes a mistake and can’t apologize because she can’t admit she actually did something wrong, that is one of the majors signs of a bad girlfriend.

Everyone makes mistakes. We are human, after all. But if you cannot admit your mistakes, then you can’t learn from them and your relationship can’t grow.

10. She takes you for granted

Whether you drive her to work, cook her dinner, or feed her cat, she should make it clear how much she appreciates all you do for her. Whether that is saying thank you, returning the favor, or making time for you.

If she doesn’t show appreciation for you being in her life, she is clearly displaying one of the big signs of a bad girlfriend! [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

11. She treats you like an employee, not a boyfriend

Some guys just get used to this kind of behavior and expect it. And some might even be shocked if their girlfriends ask for their opinion or asked them to do things instead of telling them. And that is awfully sad.

If she threatens you or forces you to do things you don’t want to do, even if that is just carrying her bags while she shops, she is not treating you fairly. Yes, a good boyfriend puts up with stuff for his girlfriend, but she should appreciate it, not expect it.

12. She expects too much from you

Similar to the earlier point, if she expects you to make big gestures, pay for every date, and buy her flowers daily, she is not being a good girlfriend.

Once you start expecting kind gestures instead of appreciating them, things go downhill. Unless you both go out of your way equally, something is off balance. [Read: 13 signs of a healthy relationship and when to end the shitty ones]

13. She can’t compromise

Compromise is a major part of every relationship. A little give and a little take. You have to meet halfway. But if she never gives and always expects you to swallow your wants and needs for her, she expects too much.

Yes, women deserve a man who respects them and treats them well. But they need to offer the same kindness back. If you don’t feel like she ever compromises, that’s clearly one of the subtle but big signs of a bad girlfriend. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

14. She manipulates

This can be a hard one to spot. Being manipulated is not always so obvious. It can even be twisted to look like a compromise. She may use sex as a way of getting what she wants, or even cry to get her way.

Or what’s worse, she might threaten to ends things, tell your secrets, or ruin your life in exchange for something. This is not good girlfriend behavior. [Read: Don’t ignore these signs of manipulation in a relationship]

15. She cheats

This is a major sign of a bad girlfriend, yet some people still put up with it, or deny it. Many people have been there.

Some people are serial cheaters, but their partners just tell themselves that it’s a phase and in the end, they would come back to them. But seriously, why would you want a cheater to come back to you?

Not only is that unfair to you, but it also hits your self-esteem and trust hard for a long time. If your girlfriend cheats *and more than once*, there is no excuse or use in discussing it. That is a sign of a bad girlfriend that cannot be overlooked.

16. She lies

Everyone tells little white lies once in a while. But there’s a huge difference between telling someone they look good in their jeans when they don’t and lying about major things. So, you need to be honest with yourself about whether she lies to you. [Read: Lying in a relationship – 15 steps to confront a lie and heal the love]

Maybe she is “going out with friends” but when you see them without her, they try to cover for her. Or maybe she’s “working late” but you suspect she’s cheating. Any form of compulsive lying makes her a bad girlfriend.

17. She uses you for your money

If you took her out on your first date and she proceeded to order the most expensive menu item and a pricey bottle of wine, then she just likes your money. Any respectful woman wouldn’t do that and expect you to pay for her expensive taste.

So, if you find that you are always buying her things and she’s demanding extravagant trips, jewelry, restaurants, purses, or cars *and the list goes on*, the is probably a gold digger. Even if you’re not a rich man, if she’s mooching off your money, then she’s a bad girlfriend. [Read: 10 sneaky signs you’re dating a genuine 24k gold digger]

18. She doesn’t fight fair

If when you are in a fight, she is extremely selfish and won’t see your point of view, that is toxic. She might see the fighting as a competition and she needs to “win” every time. There is no compromising with her at all.

She might even name-call and degrade you when you are having a conflict. She gets down and dirty and brings up every little thing you have done wrong in your life. This is narcissistic behavior and it is something you don’t deserve – no one does.

19. You do everything for her

Does she do any of the housework or does she expect you to do it? Or maybe she expects to have you take her car in to have the oil changed. It doesn’t matter what it is, but if you find that you are doing everything, and she is doing nothing, then that is a one of the signs of a bad girlfriend who’s completely taken you for granted already.

When you do everything for her, then she expects you to keep doing it. We teach people how to treat us, and if you allow this, then she will just keep doing it. [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

20. She’s a drama queen

If she makes a mountain out of a molehill all the time, then she is a drama queen. If she broke a nail and yells at you because you don’t see the big deal, then that is mentally and emotionally exhausting for you, isn’t it?

The reason that she’s a drama queen is that she likes it. Drama makes her feel important. It gives her a “purpose” and something to complain about. But that makes her a bad girlfriend.

21. She withholds sex

Some women can use sex as a weapon in relationships. They know men like sex, and they know men want it a lot. So, if you’re looking for the signs of a bad girlfriend and you find that she is unpredictable with when she will have sex with you, then she is doing it on purpose.

When she withholds sex because she’s angry *or for whatever other reason*, that is toxic. Sex is supposed to be loving and emotionally intimate. So, if she’s weaponizing it in your relationship, then that is very unhealthy. [Read: Using sex as a weapon? The harsh truths that you need to know]

22. She’s abusive

Usually, when we think of abusive relationships, we think of the man abusing the woman. But it can be the other way around too. Women can be abusive to their men too because abuse comes in all forms.

It doesn’t have to be physical to be classified as abuse. She can be mentally and emotionally abusive. If she’s calling you names like stupid or loser, then that is toxic. If she insults your masculinity or does anything else disrespectful to you, then that makes her an extremely bad girlfriend – and person. [Read: Toxic girlfriend – 17 warning signs the girl you like is toxic AF]

23. She bad-mouths you to other people

If you feel like her friends or her family are withdrawing from you and not treating you as nicely, that probably means she’s bad-mouthing you to them. Who knows what kinds of bad things she says to them? But you probably know it’s not good.

She might even insult you openly in front of them too. This is just as bad because she is doing that publicly. It’s never okay to humiliate another person. So if she’s doing that, she is definitely a bad girlfriend.

[Read: 34 very big relationship red flags most people ignore early on in a relationship]

If you spot more than a few of these signs of a bad girlfriend in your relationship, there’s a big chance that the girl you’re with may not be the ideal partner for you in your life!

The post 28 Signs of a Bad Girlfriend & How to Spot a Girl Who’s Bad For You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Ignoring Your Texts On Purpose: Why People Do It & What to Do ASAP

It’s never easy when you get the cold shoulder, especially when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose. So, why are they doing this and what can you do?

Have you been ghosted by someone you have a relationship with? There’s nothing worse than being ignored. But if you have sleepless nights trying to figure out why they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, stop freaking out.

We’re going to tell you some of the possible answers to the question, and also, what it means when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose. Plus, we’ll give you some tips on how to deal with that person when it happens.

What does it mean when your texts are being ignored on purpose?

In the early 2000s, texting wasn’t a thing. If you wanted to talk to someone, you’d call their phone or knock on their door. [Read: The biggest clues of people who are emotionally immature]

There was no way to avoid someone, you just had to face them. Now, fast-forward to a couple of decades, and we’re terrified to answer a phone call from our best friends. What changed?

A lot of people ignore texts on purpose. We can probably safely say we’ve all done this before, it’s not something new.

But some people just don’t feel like talking on the phone… ever. But there have to be more reasons than just that, right? We all cannot hate talking or texting.

While it’s acceptable now to take more than a few hours to respond to someone’s text, not answering someone’s texts for a day or more *especially if that was never previously the case* usually means you’re being ignored on purpose. [Read: Being left on read – What it really means when they see your text but don’t respond]

If you’re wondering why they’re ignoring your texts on purpose and all of a sudden, here are all the reasons why.

1. They’re hinting at you

If you’ve messaged them 300 times prior and now they’re ignoring your texts, well, this is a hint for you to lay off!

You could simply be too pushy for them. Now, they’re ignoring you so they can breathe. You’re suffocating them. Sorry, but, it’s true. So, take a couple of steps back and let them breathe. [Read: Double texting – What it is, how to avoid it and 15 must-follow rules]

2. They don’t want to talk to you anymore

Maybe the conversation died a couple of texts ago or maybe they’re busy. Right now, you texting them isn’t in their plan.

So, this isn’t what we would call them ignoring you, unless, they do this all the time, but maybe they simply can’t write at this very moment.

3. They’re not interested in you

If this is a person of interest and they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, they’re not interested in you. That’s really all there is to it. If they were a friend, it’s something different.

But if this is someone you flirt with or have a crush on, they’re trying to let you down easy without actually telling you what’s up. They’re immature, but take the hint and move on. [Read: How to keep your crush interested on text and avoid boring them]

4. They’re upset with you

Let’s say that your best friend is upset with you because you haven’t been seeing them much. So, what might they do? Ignore your texts on purpose.

There wasn’t anything else behind it, they simply wanted to show you that they are upset with you. Obviously, it’s an immature way to deal with the situation, but it certainly sends a clear message. [Read: When your best friend ignores you all of a sudden – The whys and the best ways to fix it ASAP]

5. They suck at texting

Some people are truly horrible with texting. Can you blame them? Their hands kill by the end of the day.

Some people are uninterested in texting. When you see them in person, they’re chatty and social but when it comes to texting, it’s like they have no personality. If they tell you they’re not much of a texter, this is why they’re slow to return your texts.

6. The conversation died

We know you want to keep talking to them especially if they’re your crush. We’re sorry to tell you, but if they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, the conversation is over.

This isn’t a bad thing, but know when to stop talking and give some space in between conversations. They can’t last forever. And if you’re just sending emojis with no relevant text, we don’t blame them for ignoring you. [Read: Texting anxiety – how to send and receive texts without freaking out]

How to deal when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose

Who likes being ghosted via text message? Trust us, we can honestly say no one.

Now, if you’re wondering how to deal with it, you probably wouldn’t handle it very well. You might even be a mess. But, if you know how to deal with this situation, you’ll be able to come out of it as a better person.

1. Don’t text them right now

We know you want to get to the bottom of things and find out what’s going on, but for now, give them space. When we’re anxious about losing someone, we flood them with attention in hopes of getting them back but it’s not going to work.

If anything, it makes you look desperate and clingy. Then, they freak out even more. Instead, take a step back and play it cool. [Read: How to know when to stop texting a guy and learn to move on]

2. Send a text after a couple of days

If they haven’t texted you in a couple of days, you can send them a text.

But wait a couple of days, give them space. When you text them, see what they’re up to and try to feel out their replies. Are their answers short? Engaging? See how they’re feeling about you.

3. Don’t attack them

With words, that is. When someone’s ignoring texts on purpose, don’t send them angry text messages, it’s not worth it. If you really want to know how they’re feeling, then ask them. But, it’s best if you just move on.

If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, why push it? If they could ignore your texts on purpose, would they really take the time to type out several paragraphs of text and explain themselves?

Leave them, there are other people that would love to talk to you and not treat you like shit in the process. [Read: How to respond like a mature grownup when someone ignores you on purpose]

4. Examine your own actions 

We can’t tell you that you did nothing wrong, because we actually have no idea what you did. This is when you need to be upfront with yourself and honest with your actions. Did you text them too much? Were you pushy?

If you’re not sure, ask a close friend for their honest opinion. They’ll let you know, and that way, you can change the way you communicate via text. [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]

5. Don’t sit and wait for them

Odds are, this isn’t going to work out with them. If they’re ignoring texts on purpose, there’s a reason why and it’s not in your favor. What you need to do is move on.

Don’t wait for them to write to you because they won’t or at least not now. So, go and live your life, please. [Read: The essential tools you need to forget someone fast and move on]

6. Don’t make this public

You may be upset, but don’t make a Facebook post about it. People don’t like drama, and if this is a crush, well, you’ll kill any chance of ever being with them if you do this.

We know you’re heated and upset, but don’t do anything in this emotional state.

Texts you can send when someone is ignoring you

If someone is ignoring your texts on purpose, you might feel like this silent treatment came out of nowhere. Or maybe you know that there was a specific event that triggered it. Either way, you should try to figure out the reason it’s happening.

So, in order to help you figure out what to do, here are some sample texts you can send to the person who is ignoring you on purpose.

1. Are you okay?

If you don’t know why they are ignoring your texts, then you should simply ask if they are alright. Depending on how well you know them, you can try to reach out any way you can.

If you prefer, you could even send an email or call them on the phone. But you need to be prepared for the fact that they might not respond to you. So, try to have empathy and just convey the fact that you are concerned about their wellbeing. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

2. I’m here for you

Maybe you had a fight with this person, and that’s why they are giving you the cold shoulder. If that’s the case, it could be that they are just trying to distance themselves to figure out what to say to you.

Some people aren’t good at communication, and so they don’t deal with fights very well. If you think that is why they are ignoring your texts on purpose, then you should just give them the space they probably need.

But still, convey that you are there for them and are willing to listen when they feel like the time is right. Try to tell them this in a caring way. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it and the best ways to fix it]

3. I’m sad that we’re not talking right now

If you don’t know why they are ignoring you, then you can express that you are feeling bad that there is a distance in your relationship. Show them that it’s disappointing and you are bothered by it.

When you say this, you definitely don’t want to sound like you are trying to manipulate them or the situation. Just tell them how much you value them as a person and the relationship as a whole. Tell them that their disappearance has affected you deeply.

4. Do you want to talk about things?

You might be very close and think you know what’s running through their minds, but you don’t. You’re not a mind reader.

Something might be going on with them that may not even be related to you for all you know. You simply don’t know, so making assumptions that everything is about you isn’t a good thing to do.

If you send this text, then you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for what they say, even if it’s upsetting or causes a disagreement between the two of you. Hopefully, it has nothing to do with you, but it could.

They might just need space and not feel like telling you why. That’s difficult to deal with, but you still have to respect their wishes – at least for a while. So, if they are ignoring your texts on purpose, just take this time to process your own emotions, and don’t berate them for wanting to keep to themselves at the moment. [Read: Intentionally hurting someone you love – Why we do it and how to stop]

5. You won’t believe what just happened!

When people withdraw from a relationship, sometimes, they are dealing with their own emotions like guilt or a sense of not being worthy. So, you can send them a text that just tells them something interesting that happened in your life.

You could even send them a funny meme to get a conversation – any conversation – rolling. If they respond, then you can eventually direct the discussion toward what is bothering them.

6. I’m really sorry

It’s not unusual for people to have some silence after they had a fight with each other. If they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, and the problem wasn’t worked out, one or both of the people will distance themselves to get some perspective on what just happened.

So, during this cooling-off period, you could simply acknowledge that you did something wrong *if you did*. Take personal responsibility for your role in the situation and be honest about it. [Read: How to apologize for ghosting a friend and undo the damage you have done]

You can say you’re sorry and ask when they might be ready to talk to you. If you have hurt them deeply and they say they don’t want to talk to you, then you will just have to honor that and give them the space they are requesting.

7. I’ll give you space

When people are silent and ignoring your texts on purpose, then this is a sign that they are drawing a boundary to process what they are feeling. It’s not easy on you, but it could be good for them – and helpful. So, if you simply let them know that you will give them their space, they will probably appreciate it.

Try not to express your anger or disappointment because this could further hurt the relationship. Also, don’t give them the cold shoulder back or be too aggressive because this will make things worse. Just be calm, rational, and loving. [Read: How to know when to give someone space – don’t be THAT person]

Final tips

Now that you know what you can say to a person who is ignoring your texts on purpose, just give it time. Once you come through this period, then you should sit down and talk about how you both can communicate better from now on.

If you don’t think you can get to this point, or if this turns out to be a consistent pattern, then you might have to re-evaluate whether or not you think this relationship is working for you.

It could be that they like the drama, and if that is not how you operate, then maybe you two are just not compatible. [Read: 25 mean signs of a fake friend who doesn’t care about you at all]

[Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]

No one likes being ignored. But listen, if you’re wondering what does it mean when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose, think about why you’d do the same thing to someone else.

The post Ignoring Your Texts On Purpose: Why People Do It & What to Do ASAP is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Charisma Breakdown: Errol Flynn

Hollywood’s most prolific, charismatic womanizer of all time, Errol Flynn was a magnetic force unlike any other. Just what made Flynn so utterly irresistible?

Welcome to the third installment in this Charisma Breakdown series.

For the series, I've been breaking down the mannerisms and behaviors of wildly charismatic individuals, along the lines of the four Charismatic Archetypes we discuss in greater depth in my soon-to-be-rereleased course, Charisma in a Bottle.

You can see the previous two installments here:

1. Charisma Breakdown: John Wayne (King Archetype)

2. Charisma Breakdown: Russell Brand (Savior Archetype)

It was my intention to do the Father Archetype next, then the Hero, but it's been a bit of a challenge finding good Father Archetype charismatics who also fit a seductive role. I think I'll most likely do Sean Connery for that, who fits the Father Archetype, and for whom I've promised to do a charisma breakdown for a while.

Meantime though, I'm just too eager to get to Errol Flynn... so we're going to jump ahead here to do the Hero.

Today we cover cinema's most legendary swashbuckler and Hollywood's biggest ever real-life charismatic womanizer: the magnetic, the charming, the irresistible Errol Flynn.

Is Someone Pushing You Away? 23 Signs, Why They Push & What To Do

You’re in a relationship, but now you are feeling that things are off. So, what are the signs someone is pushing you away? Here’s what you need to know.

Your relationship has been going well. You see your partner often. You are affectionate and loving towards each other, what’s wrong with that? Nothing! But you’ve noticed a change in your partner. Could it be the signs someone is pushing you away?

Something feels a little off. You’re not quite sure what it is. Maybe they’re just stressed with work or exams. Or maybe it’s something else.

Why would someone push you away all of a sudden? Why would they behave that way? Is it your fault? Are there any signs? We’ll get to all of that here.

Now, you don’t want to jump to conclusions right away without looking at the right signs. If you notice more than a couple of these signs in your relationship, your partner could be pushing you away.

It’s not what anyone wants to hear, but you must find out what’s going on.

[Read: Here’s how to recognize if your partner is emotionally distant and what to do about it]

The 13 subtle but very obvious signs someone is pushing you away 

If you think your partner is pushing you away, then it’s time you spoke up. We know you don’t want to address it, who honestly does? There’s always the fear of them breaking up with you, but how can you stay with them if they’re treating you like this?

It’s a tough spot to be in, but you need to take care of yourself. So, before talking to them, look at these signs someone is pushing you away to help you get a better idea of what may be going on.

1. There’s no more affection

Now, we’re not talking about sex. We’re assuming that whatever was happening in the bedroom has completely stopped.

But now, your partner isn’t even touching you. There’s no hugging, no kissing, no nothing. Once the affection has stopped, then you know something is going on. [Read: A lack of affection in a relationship – Is it time to walk away?]

2. They don’t listen to you

When you talk to them, they don’t really seem like they’re listening.

Before, when you would tell them about your day, they would take an interest. But now, it seems like a huge inconvenience to them to even hear what you have to say.

3. They avoid you

You call them, but it takes them hours to call you back. And when you do get a hold of them, there’s not much of a conversation.

You ask to hang out, but there’s always a reason as to why they can’t. If they’re avoiding you, it’s clearly one of the signs someone is pushing you away, and one that you need to investigate. [Read: How to handle the sting of resentment in a relationship and overcome it]

4. You’ve suddenly become forced to read minds

Your partner used to tell you how they were feeling and things going on in their life, but now, you’ve been forced to become a mind reader.

You spend your time trying to guess what they’re thinking and why they’re feeling that way. This isn’t a good sign. No relationship should make you feel like you need to read their mind. 

5. You feel something’s changed

You can’t put your finger on it, but you know something is up. When you’re around them, you don’t feel the love and affection you once shared, and that’s a big problem.

No matter what you do or how you try to make them feel good, nothing seems to work. It’s not you; it’s them. [Read: 16 signs he doesn’t like you anymore and is slowly losing interest in you]

6. They no longer communicate with you

You are still talking, barely, and when you do talk, it’s very shallow. They’re no longer telling you about the personal things going on in their life; instead, they keep the conversation very basic and simple. It makes you wonder why. As much as this hurts, this is one of the big signs someone is pushing you away.

7. They spend more time alone

Well, at least that’s what they tell you. Whenever you check in with them, they’re always doing something on their own.

Now, this wouldn’t be strange if they were always like this, but they weren’t. They changed recently, and something is going on.

8. You bicker a lot

You’re not sure what the argument was even about, and it keeps happening again and again. Whatever you say, they rip it apart and find a way to get angry at you. They’re clearly frustrated about something and taking it out on you. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too much]

9. They’re into their phones

You would almost never look at your phones when hanging out together. But now, you can’t get your partner to get off their phone; it’s like they’re glued to it. And if this has become something that’s suddenly happened, you need to ask what’s going on.

10. They ask for a break

Well, if someone asks to go on a break, they’re basically waiting to break up with you. Sometimes, people ask their significant other for a break because they don’t know how to break up with them.

So, if they ask for a break and you’ve seen other signs they’re pushing you away, the relationship is probably coming to an end. [Read: The beginning of the end – What is a break in a relationship exactly?]

11. They keep their distance

They used to come over and hang out with you during the week, but now, they’re suddenly too busy to spend time with you.

They don’t send you good morning text messages either, everything has been pulled back drastically… there’s a good reason for that – they’re pushing you away.

12. They seem like they’re off in another world

When you’re around them, they’re not in the moment with you. Instead, their mind is off in a completely different world.

They’re zoning out and looking like they have their mind on something or someone else. What’s going on? [Read: The 20 revealing signs you might be growing apart in your relationship]

13. They blame you for everything

You didn’t know you could make so many mistakes without actually doing anything, but this is what happens when someone’s too weak to break up with you, so they try to push you away instead.

They blame you for everything and anything. They’re trying to find an out without confronting you.

Why would someone be pushing you away?

When you’re in a relationship, it’s difficult to comprehend why someone would push their significant other away. And in general, the people who are doing the pushing aren’t avoiding intimacy with you because they don’t like you or want to be left completely alone.

So, why does someone push you away? Well, there are a variety of reasons this might happen. Now that you know the signs someone is pushing you away, here are some of the reasons why they may be doing it. [Read: Why men pull away – their reasoning and your response]

1. You hurt them in some way

When you see the signs someone is pushing you away, usually your first instinct would be to blame yourself. Did you do something? Did you hurt them in some way?

Of course, it’s not always your fault, as you’ll see in the reasons below. But sometimes, there is an off chance that you said or did something that hurt their feelings. And instead of confronting you about it, they’ve receded into a shell and are just pushing you away instead *usually, to hurt you for the pain you caused them!*

Giving someone the silent treatment is childish and even manipulative. [Read: Why the silent treatment is bad and how to do it the right way]

But if you do believe you may have done something recently that hurt them, sit down with them and talk about it. Of course, they’ll deny it at first, but eventually, they may open up as well and talk about their real feelings. An easy happy ending!

But then again, it’s not always this smooth and easy. Sometimes, someone could push you away because of their own issues, as we’ll see in the rest of the reasons below.

2. Fear of intimacy

Some people are just uncomfortable with intimacy. And because of this, they develop avoidance as a defense mechanism against people so they don’t get hurt when they’re in a relationship.

Maybe they had a bad experience in a previous relationship *or more than one*, and they think they have healed from it.

But, subconsciously, they are still worried about being rejected, so their actions of pushing you away just linger on in your relationship with them. It’s almost as if it’s an instinct that takes over them.

Now, this is not necessarily a conscious choice on their part. It’s not like they’re thinking, “Okay, I need to take action to push this person away because I’m afraid of getting hurt, so I’m protecting myself this way.”

Instead, their behaviors are usually unconscious. They might start arguments or display any of the other signs of pushing away because they feel the need to protect themselves. [Read: Fear of intimacy – The hardships of being afraid of love]

3. Emotional attachment problems

There are different attachment styles that most people have. And if someone is pushing you away, then they might have what’s called an avoidant attachment style.

In other words, they avoid emotional attachments with other people as much as they can because it’s uncomfortable when they don’t.

This probably happened in their childhood, and they weren’t able to emotionally attach to one or both of their parents. But, then they carry it over into their close relationships as adults.

You avoid intimacy because you fear that other people will let you down, just as one of your parents might have done to you. [Read: How a fearful avoidant attachment style keeps you from harmony]

As a result, the person develops low involvement or casual relationships so that they can back out of them if things get too intense. Or, sometimes they alternate between the urge to pull people close to them, and then have the need to push them away. [Read: Do you keep finding yourself in a push and pull relationship?]

4. Low self-esteem

If someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, then they also might end up pushing people away. They might really care about someone, but they might not feel worthy of the love or connection that another person is offering them.

Maybe there is even a doubt that they have the skills to sustain a long-term romantic relationship or friendship.

They will have a variety of thoughts that go through their heads because of their low self-esteem. For instance, they might be worried that they’ll make a mistake someday and let you down.

Or, they might believe that you don’t actually like them and will leave them for someone else as soon as you get the chance. They just hold back because they don’t feel good enough.

When someone feels this way, it’s easy to push people away because that’s the only way they can save themselves from a heartbreak. [Read: Dating someone with low self-esteem – what it’s like for both of you]

5. Trust issues

If someone has been betrayed before, then they will have problems trusting others. Maybe one of their past partners cheated or lied to them, so it’s understandable why they would have a hard time recovering from the betrayal they went through.

When someone has a hard time trusting people, it’s difficult to repair that.

The effects of it can continue into other relationships – indefinitely if they let it. They think, “Why should I get close to someone when they will probably deceive or betray me eventually?”

Gaining trust doesn’t happen quickly in relationships. And it’s normal for people to need time before they can trust someone else. [Read: How to date someone with trust issues and win their trust and love]

So if you see the signs that someone is pushing you away, then it could be because they have trust issues. It could be directly a result of you, or it could have absolutely nothing to do with you. Either way, the outcome of distancing themselves is the same. [Read: Why do I push people away? The real reasons why you always do this]

What to do when someone pushes you away

When you see the signs that someone is pushing you away, it’s sad and also difficult to know what to do. Do you chase after them? Confront them? What are some strategies you can use? Here are some ideas.

1. Don’t overact or freak out

It’s easy to take it personally, panic, and freak out. But that won’t help. If you go off on an emotional reaction while trying to pull them back, that might just push them farther away.

So, try to stay calm, objective, and rational before you take any other steps. [Read: How to stop overthinking in a relationship and calm your mind down]

2. Talk to them about it

You need to get clarification about what’s going on with them. Tell them that you notice that they are pushing you away.

They might deny it, but you need to get them to admit it. Ask them why they are doing it. Is it something you did or didn’t do? Something you said? Try to have them pinpoint the cause of the problem.

3. Ask what they want from you

Once you have figured out why they are pushing you away, then ask them what they want you to do. Should you leave them alone? Do they want you to go to counseling? What is it that would make them feel more comfortable?

Then, do what they want as long as it is reasonable and it feels okay with you too. [Read: How to know if you should break up – 22 signs that can guide you]

4. Decide what you want to do

If they say they want a break, then you need to think about if that works for you. A “break” can mean a lot of different things.

If they want to be left alone for a while, then ask yourself if that feels right. Just because they want to do one thing doesn’t mean that is the way it should be. You are half of the relationship, so you get a say too. [Read: Relationship break – 24 rules to taking a break and how to plan for it]

5. End it if you have to

If they are pushing you away to the point that you don’t think the relationship can survive, then you might just have to end it.

They might not have the courage to do it themselves, you might have to be the one who pulls the plug. Emotional distance in a relationship is never healthy, and you probably don’t want to continue if things aren’t going to get better.

[Read: 25 topics all couples need to talk about in a happy relationship]

[Read: How to get someone to open up so you can really connect and feel closer]

After seeing these signs someone is pushing you away, what do you think about your relationship? Is your partner trying to push you away? If so, it’s time you opened up to them, and get them to express themself to you.

The post Is Someone Pushing You Away? 23 Signs, Why They Push & What To Do is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

No Contact Rule: What It Is, How to Use It & Why It Works So Well

You just broke up with your ex, and you are pretty upset about it. So, what’s the best strategy to use? You should try the no contact rule and follow it.

Friendship can turn into love. But can love ever turn into friendship? Someone once said it can. And it’s true. But all you need to do is avoid that ex-lover of yours for a few years! For now, you should use the no contact rule.

A break up always leaves us in a confused state of mind. On one hand, we’re hurting because we’ve lost a big piece of our heart to someone else. And on the other hand, we still want to stay in touch with the same person that broke our heart and walked all over it!

No wonder it’s been said that love is sweet misery. We want something so bad even though we know all it’ll do is hurt us more.

Honestly, it’s understandable that you want to stay in touch with your ex. They’re a big part of your life. But sometimes, avoiding all contact with an ex is possibly the best thing to do, even if staying in touch feels like a wonderful consolation prize to win after a breakup.

[Read: Does my ex still miss me? 23 signs your ex is clearly not over you yet]

What is the no contact rule?

Very simply, the no contact rule is a rule where exes stay as exes and don’t become friends.

They don’t try to stay friends, they don’t wish each other ‘happy birthday,’ and they definitely don’t stay connected on social media and ‘like’ each other’s posts!

Both exes who were once completely in love with each other now avoid each other purposefully and greet each other with awkward smiles like distant acquaintances when they invariably bump into each other.

It sounds harsh, but well, that’s what the no contact rule is all about.

Why is the no contact rule a wise choice?

There are two kinds of endings to every relationship, a happy ending and a sad one.

If both of you decide to part ways because you’re both bored and there’s no real love in the romance anymore, it’s a happy ending *wow, the irony of it all!*.

If you’re still in love with your lover, and yet, your lover arm twists you into a breakup because they don’t care about you anymore or are dating someone else, then that’s a sad ending for you and probably a happy ending for your soon-to-be-ex.

If your breakup ends with a happy ending for you, then the no contact rule will be meaningless to you, because you’re probably in another relationship or enjoying the single life anyway. [Read: 16 signs your ex still loves you and wants you back]

But if you’re the one left nursing a broken heart in your lonely room while your current ex flits and jumps from one happy hookup to another, then the no contact rule definitely applies to you. You need this much more than your happy ex does!

Why some people need the no contact rule more than others

Know this, the person who cares enough to desperately try and stay friends with their ex wants to stay friends only because they’re still in love with their ex.

There are almost no other reasons for two exes to stay friends *unless they still have something in common that binds them – friends, work, family, etc.*

If you’re having a hard time moving on from the breakup, you need to realize that the only reason you’re still hurt and miserable is because you want your ex back in your arms. Even if you don’t want to date your ex again, the fact that you’re hurting means you feel empty in your heart and want more love in your life.

The more you’re in touch with your ex, the more you’d realize just how empty your heart is with no love in it. [Read: I miss my ex – Why you honestly miss them and 20 ways to get over them for good]

How to follow the no contact rule

The best way to disconnect emotionally and heal the hole in your heart is by avoiding your ex completely. It’ll help you move on without having to constantly remember just how lonely you are each time you see your ex flirting with someone else.

Resist the temptation to stay in touch or call your ex just to say hello. Don’t spend your idle hours searching online frantically for any new pictures or any news of their new relationship status.

And for crying out loud, avoid looking for ways to bump into them just so you can shake hands or exchange a warm-but-awkward hug. [Read: Bumped into your ex? 14 super-cool ways to show them YDGAF anymore!]

If you’re hurting inside after the breakup, you really need to follow the no contact rule and avoid your current ex completely. It’s the only way you can ever bring that natural smile back on your face again.

12 very valid reasons why the no contact rule is the best choice

Are you still uncertain about the fact that the no contact rule is the best way to overcome your ex? Here are 12 good reasons why the no contact rule has to be your best friend for now.

1. You can’t move on without it

You can’t move on if you’re stuck in the same spot in your love life.

As long as you stay around your ex, you’ll constantly remember how much you miss your relationship. Only when you take an emotional step away will you be able to look around and find new things to fill that emptiness you feel in your heart.

2. Your feelings will always be rekindled

If you’ve been dumped by someone you still love or even if you’ve parted ways mutually, the relationship status changes overnight, but your feelings for your ex won’t be able to keep pace with it.

If you meet your ex often, there’s a big chance that you’ll end up falling in love with them, even if they’ve moved on.

You can’t kiss them or touch them anymore, and that makes that all the more irresistible and desirable. Why would you want to put yourself through all that torture when you can just follow the no contact rule instead? [Read: How to make someone miss you and regret ever leaving your side]

3. Focus on the healing

It’s easier to focus on the healing when you don’t have to keep staring at that annoyingly perfect face of your ex.

Memories have a sneaky way of cropping up each time you see your ex. And the more you see your ex, the harder it’ll be to stop loving them.

4. You’d be more forgiving

Your ex may be a selfish, narcisistsic animal who only has their own interests in mind. If your ex cheated on you or dumped you to date someone else, and all of a sudden, they decide to come back to you, you can’t stop yourself from accepting their apology when you’re always in touch with them.

After a breakup, all your heart wants is someone to fill the emptiness in it. Don’t be around your selfish ex or you’ll end up hurting yourself again some other day. [Read: Your ex wants to be friends? 15 questions you have to ask yourself right now]

5. You can’t fall in love with someone else

When you disregard the no contact rule and stay in touch with your ex, you’d feel like it’s morally wrong to date someone else.

And even when you’re trying to find someone or something else to distract you, the thought of your breakup will always linger in your mind, making you feel uneasy and miserable all the time. [Read: How to use a rebound relationship to get over a breakup]

6. Your life is cluttered with broken memories

You need new memories and experiences that don’t involve your ex if you ever want to get back up on your feet and sense a sliver of happiness again. The more you see your ex, the more you’ll remember the old times.

7. The dreaded on-off relationship

When two exes ignore the no contact rule and stay in touch, almost all the time, they end up getting back together because they’re both lonely and need a relationship to feel complete.

Even before you realize it, both of you may end up getting back together in the heat of a private moment when no one’s around.

And if a relationship isn’t really meant to be because of so many different expectations, you may end up experiencing an on-off relationship which will hurt you a lot more, and leave you feeling worse than ever before. [Read: On-off relationships and all the reasons why you should never stay stuck in one]

8. You can’t be yourself around you ex again… ever

Let’s face it, a breakup changes everything about the relationship. You can’t just wrap your ex in your arms or kiss them goodbye when you feel like it.

There will always be an awkwardness in the air unless both of you are completely over each other. Can you really handle the awkwardness all the time? Is staying friends with your ex worth more than your peace of mind?

9. An ex’s touch leaves you more vulnerable than ever

When you’re in a relationship with someone, there’s bound to be a lot of sexual chemistry in the relationship. But after you break up with them, there’s a complete restriction on the things you used to do with them, sexually or romantically.

And when any activity becomes a taboo or a restriction, it ends up becoming an addiction because you want it more badly than ever before!

If you’re still in love with your ex, every single touch or a goodbye hug could end up electrifying the air with sexual tension. And you’d feel more pained each time you touch each other. [Read: Do you want to have sex with your ex again?]

10. You’d get hurt if you stay in touch

This is especially true if your ex has already moved on. Each time you try to get warm with them or try to remind them about those special times both of you shared, your ex may just call you nasty names or walk away with an annoyed expression on their face.

And there you’d be, standing all alone with a broken heart that’s filled with helpless humiliation.

11. Sad frustrations

Even watching your ex flirt with someone, or staring at a few happy pictures of your ex on Instagram hugging someone else can annoy you.

And the worst part, not a single person in the world would truly understand what you feel at that moment. You’re all alone and miserable, all because you decided to stay in touch and avoid the no contact rule. [Read: How to let go of someone you love by hating them]

12. You’re missing a piece of your heart

A piece of your heart is missing because you’ve given it away to your ex. And let’s face it, after the breakup, you can never get it back.

You need your space to either let your heart heal or have it filled with love from another person.

Staying connected will always remind you of that gaping hole inside you, and it’ll never heal as long as you’re constantly around the person who took it away from you in the first place. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 23 signs your ex is not over you yet]

How to get through the no contact phase and follow the rules

If you have broken up with your ex, but you didn’t want to, then the no contact rule is even more important. We’ve discussed those reasons already.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. You might be wondering what you should be doing or focusing on during this time. Here are some ideas that will make you feel better.

1. Go out with your friends

You don’t want to sit at home and devour a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of wine crying your eyes out every night. Sure, you could do that, but that is not productive. It will just make you feel worse.

So, get yourself out of the house and go do something fun with your friends as often as you possibly can. Sulking by yourself will just get you thinking more and more about your ex.

Go to a club and meet new people. Dance away your sadness with good music and better friends. See some movies, or take up some new hobbies.

The point is that you need to keep yourself busy so you don’t pine away for your ex too much. Distractions work wonders during the no contact rule time period. [Read: Will my ex come back? 26 reasons and signs they regret leaving you]

2. Get on a dating app

Get back out there in the dating pool. How else are you going to move on from your ex? You don’t need to find another relationship right away, because that poor person you date next would just be the rebound. And that’s not fair to them.

But you can still date casually. Meet up with new people for lunch, coffee, or a cocktail. Meeting new people that you could possibly see yourself dating will do wonders for your ego. It will make you realize that you really are still desirable because other people want you. [Read: Rebound relationship – 15 signs, rules and how to have fun in one]

3. Work on your self-esteem

When we go through a breakup, it takes a toll on most people’s self-esteem – especially if your ex broke up with you. The thoughts of not being good enough or “what did I do wrong?” will pop up a lot for you.

But don’t let those negative thoughts get the best of you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s just that your ex is not the right person for you. Don’t take it personally, and allow the no contact rule to help you understand this with time.

Instead, write down all the good qualities you have. It can be that you’re smart, funny, a good friend, or anything that you like about yourself. Then, only allow yourself to think about those things. Don’t allow your ex so much power that it takes down your self-esteem. [Read: Dating someone with low self esteem – What it’s like for the both of you]

4. Look back and learn

So, you should look back at your relationship and do a post-breakup analysis. What did you like about it? Are there things you didn’t like about it? Did you do something wrong? Did your ex do something wrong?

You could see it as a “failed” relationship, but don’t look at it that way. Failure is such a negative word. Instead, you should see this as a learning experience.

After you have looked back at the pros and cons, then take what you learned and do it better in the next relationship. Choose a more compatible partner, and be a better one yourself. Use this time to reflect and do some self-improvement. Get clear on the type of person you really should be dating. [Read: 16 lessons to recover from a breakup one day at a time and move ahead]

5. See a counselor if needed

Sometimes, a breakup is so deeply painful that it is difficult for a person to get through it by themselves. And maybe the help of their family and friends isn’t even enough.

If you find yourself in this situation, then you should probably try to seek professional help if you have the means to do so. The pain of a breakup isn’t supposed to last forever. Eventually, almost everyone heals from it. [Read: How to come out of a relationship stronger than ever when it ends]

So, don’t feel weak if you need a real counselor to help you through it. It’s not weak to admit you need help. In fact, it’s a sign of strength.

Trust the no contact rule

You love your ex, and you can’t ever imagine not talking to them or seeing them every day. Your heart hurts, and you feel lost without them in your arms. But you know what, unfortunately for you, you really have no choice here.

You can’t heal your heart unless you walk away and follow the no contact rule to the tee. It’s a miserable and pathetic feeling, but your shattered heart will heal sooner than you think.

All you need to do is give your heart a safe chance to heal itself by avoiding the person who breaks your heart every time they walk into your life.

Take a step back, and as much as it hurts, stick to the no contact rule. It may hurt *A LOT!* to ignore someone you love, but you’ll start to feel better in weeks. Until then, just hold on!

[Read: How to love again after being hurt by someone]

The no contact rule is very hard to follow. But for your own happiness, you need to learn to deal with your addiction. It won’t be easy to avoid someone you love so much, but a few months down the lane of lost love and you’ll realize that this was the best decision, after all.

The post No Contact Rule: What It Is, How to Use It & Why It Works So Well is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Back Turns and Freeze Outs

If a girl is being snippy or you’ve hit a wall with her, make her chase you with a back turn… or just simply freeze her out.

There are a couple of old seduction community tactics I'd like to talk about today:

Back turns and freeze outs.

These are useful tactics when used correctly.

When used incorrectly they can make you look bitter at times, clownish at others.

The most key element of a successful back turn or freeze out thus is calibration: timing it right, using it correctly, and not doing it too short or too long.

14 Signs He Wants to Say ‘I Love You’ to You But is Holding Back

You are head over heels for him, and you think he might feel the same way. But how do you know? Here are the signs he wants to say I love you.

If you’ve been with your boyfriend for some time, you obviously have some strong feelings towards him. Maybe you even love him. And he may feel the exact same thing as you, but he hasn’t verbalized it yet. But as women, we’re trying to figure out if they do love us. Well, worry no further. There are some obvious signs he wants to say ‘I love you’ even if he hasn’t said it out loud just yet!

Why are we hesitant to say ‘I love you’

The biggest part of a relationship is when it’s that moment when you’re wanting to take it to the next step. No, not being exclusive. [Read: What does exclusive mean? 20 ways to know if you’re ready for it]

We’re talking about the step after that—you know, the big three words.

No one wants to be the first one to say I love you. Of course, it’s a beautiful thing to say to someone, but people are just scared to say it.

They’re worried about rejection, or ruining the relationship. Saying ‘I love you’ automatically takes your relationship to the next level of seriousness, whether you’re prepared for it or not. [Read: Why saying ‘I love you’ too soon just sucks]

In a guy’s mind, he’s probably wondering, what if you’re not ready for that stage, or what if he says it and YOU think it’s all happening too fast and want to break up with him?!

If there’s a good thing going on, sometimes, a guy may just hold back his feelings in the fear of losing you because he may appear too “clingy” or “needy.”

You can help him say those three magical words

It’s simple, really! If you think a guy is falling for you, and actually loves you, all you need to do is let him know that he’s just as special to you as well.

Very few guys and girls try to play games with someone they’re truly in love with. So if this guy loves you, all he desperately needs are a few subtle hints to see that you won’t push him away when he does say those three words.

If you’ve been playing hard to get, or are leaving him hanging in the talking stage, it’s time you stop with that. Let him know that you care for him, that he means a lot to you, and that you can’t wait to spend time with him – now, and in the future as well.

Learn how to make a guy feel needed and wanted, and he’ll definitely want to say “I love you” to you in a matter of days!

The clearest signs he wants to say ‘I love you’ to you

Now that you know how to reassure a guy and make him feel needed and wanted, let’s take a look at the signs he wants to say ‘I love you.’ Sometimes, the signs may be more obvious than you think! [Read: How to make him fall in love with you – 17 secrets to win his heart and make him love you]

1. The way he looks at you

Of course, we all look at each other, but when a guy loves you, he gives you a specific look. You see their eyes are full of warmth and love. They may smile at the same time, but it’s a small, intimate smile to pay attention to if you want to catch it.

Body language is very important. In fact, it is more truthful than the words we say. So, paying attention to his nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, is a great way to figure out the signs he wants to say I love you. [Read: The body language of men and 35 clues to know if he loves you]

As the saying goes, the eyes are the windows to the soul. So, if he stares deep into your eyes, it is probably because he is falling in love with you. If his eyes say, “you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met” then he loves you.

2. He sees you

Okay, he sees you. But what we mean is that he really sees you. He notices things about you that no one else pays attention to. He sees how you act around others, what makes you cranky, how to process things, and what makes you happy.

If he loves you, he pays attention to all these things. He wants to understand you and make you happy.

He also knows everything you like and dislike. For example, maybe you hate sharing your popcorn when you to go the movie theater. He remembers that and honors it. He might even tease you about it lovingly. But he knows these quirks about you, and not only accepts them, but he still really likes *or loves* you for them. [Read: 45 signs a man really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]

3. He keeps you involved in his life

If he didn’t care, then he wouldn’t update you on what’s happening in his life. If he likes telling you about his day *without you asking*, then he considers you as someone important in his life. When a guy loves you, he won’t leave you out of the loop.

In fact, when he loves you, he wants to stay in contact with you as much as possible. It’s just a natural thing for humans to want to be in regular contact with the ones they love.

If he didn’t have feelings for you, he would let you know through his actions. So, if you’re involved in his life, he probably does love you. [Read: How soon is too soon to say I love you? 15 things to ask yourself]

4. He misses you when you’re not around

Men aren’t like women. We fall in love with them when they’re around. However, men fall in love with women usually when they’re not present!

When you’re separated from him, he’s able to appreciate the little things about you. If he tells you he missed you or reaches out when you’re away, he loves you.

In fact, the more he says he misses you, the deeper his feelings are. When we are in love, our partner becomes our “other half,” so being without them makes us feel empty. And that’s even true with guys. [Read: How to make a guy miss you – 20 subtle moves to leave him obsessed]

5. He is a part of your life

Another one of the signs he wants to say I love you is how much you are a part of his life. There are some relationships where you’re with them, but you’re not really with them if you get what we mean. Sure, you guys have sex and go out on weekends. It just doesn’t feel like a real relationship.

If he loves you, he’ll make himself a part of your life. This means he’s hanging out with your friends and family, cooking dinners with you, and falling asleep with you in bed.

6. You’re number one

Now, his life doesn’t revolve around you and should never revolve around you. While you shouldn’t become the only thing in his life, he does prioritize you.

Yes, he has work, school, family, and friends but he makes the time in his day to talk to you and see you. When a man loves you, he’ll make sure the person he loves has a special place in his life. [Read: When should you say “I love you” for the first time?]

7. He doesn’t give up

Listen, women can be annoying and a pain in the ass at times *it’s time to be honest, we’re not perfect*. But no matter what fights you have or how annoying you can be in some moments, he’s right there.

He puts himself 100% into the relationship and fights to make it work. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t want to try anymore.

Let’s face it, sometimes relationships are difficult and they take effort. And if he’s not putting in the effort, then he’s either lazy or he doesn’t love you. That’s why when you see him fighting for you and your partnership, he is most likely doing that out of love. [Read: Is he saying “I love you” too soon? 15 signs he doesn’t really mean it]

8. He makes verbal hints

This is one of the definite signs he wants to say I love you. Though he’s not exactly telling you that he loves you, he says it in other ways.

He hints at it, talking around the three words, but basically explaining how he feels which would be described as love.

Listen, he loves you. He’s scared. It’s frustrating, and if you’re getting tired of listening to him, then just be the first one to say it. [Read: How to say ‘I love you’ to a guy for the first time and at the right time]

He might say things like, “much love to you” or “Hi love bug!” or something like “I love being around you so much…”

If he refers to love or his feelings of warmth toward you, then he is really testing the waters to see how you respond. He’s throwing that word out there to see your reaction. He figures if you react well, then it might be safe to tell you that he loves you.

9. He wants you to sleep over at his place

Okay, if it’s just a rare occasion that you sleep over, maybe not. But if he asks you to stay over more and more, you have your own toothbrush and drawer by the bed, he’s slowly transitioning to you living with him.

He wants it. He wants it bad, but he’s scared to be direct.

When he wants to be together with you overnight on a regular basis, that means he’s thinking about a future with you.

He’s not just taking it casually, because if he was, he would not want you to get the wrong impression. Therefore, he would not invite you over to his place much, and wouldn’t stay at yours either. [Read: Saying I love you and not hearing it back – Why it hurts to accept it]

10. He’s there when it’s inconvenient

In relationships, it’s not always smooth sailing. There are going to be rough patches you experience – work, stress, doctor visits, arguments, and so much more. If he’s there with you through those moments, he loves you. If he bails whenever you’re going through some troubles, then he’s not ready to say ‘I love you.’

But, if he always has your back, then that is a sign that he wants to say I love you. Let’s say you have a flat tire, and if you call him and he comes to rescue you with no questions asked, that is a sign of love.

He wants to let you know that he is “your person” – the one you can count on through thick and thin. [Read: 18 signs a man is emotionally attached to you and ready to get closer]

11. He asks to make it more serious

Ah yes, though you’re already dating each other, he wants to take the relationship to the next level. Even if you’re exclusive, he wants to push the relationship to the next level. Though he may be scared to tell you that he loves you, the fact he wants more from the relationship shows how he feels about you.

He might get you a promise ring, or give you space in his closet for your things at his place. Or maybe he wants to go grocery shopping with you and plans dinner around your schedule.

All of these things are indications that he wants to make things more serious with you… which is one of the signs that he wants to say I love you. [Read: 17 gestures that are louder than words if a man is in love]

12. He smiles for no reason

If you’re eating a sandwich or talking about your dog and your boyfriend is smiling at you, he’s head-over-heels for you. You’ll notice that he’s gazing at you with big eyes and a wide smile, well, he’s done.

Smiling is nonverbal communication that says that a person is happy. And if he’s happy, that means either he’s falling in love with you, or he already is. Either way, that’s that!

13. He does nice things for you

He doesn’t have to go out of his way to do things for you. You never have to ask him to help you, he just does it. He wants to make your life happier and easier because he loves you.

He might buy you little gifts, wash your car, or cook dinner for you. Maybe his way of expressing love is by these little acts of service for you. If so, then that is his way of telling you that he loves you. [Read: 15 signs he wants a serious relationship with you and wants to commit]

14. How he texts

Look at his texting patterns, and also what he says when he texts you. If he texts you a lot, and on a regular basis, this is one of the good signs he wants to say I love you. He wants to stay in constant communication.

Also, if what he writes in the text is significant, and not just one or two-word responses, that means he wants to build a deeper connection. Having a relatively long conversation about important things via text is a good sign.

Another thing you can look for when he texts is the use of emojis. Lots of guys don’t use that many, so if he’s using the smiley face with heart eyes, or the one with blowing of kisses, that means he is hinting around at love.

Or maybe he keeps writing “xoxo” or “Love from my heart to yours.” This could indicate that he’s too chicken to come right out and say I love you, so he is indirectly telling you so he doesn’t get hurt! [Read: How guys text when they love you – 28 things they do differently]

Should you say I love you first?

Now that you know the signs he wants to say I love you, should you wait for him to get the courage up to say it first? Or should you just jump in and say it to make it easier for him?

Well, that’s up to you. Everyone is different. However, it is usually a good thing for him to say it first. The reason for this is that if he does, you know for sure that he really means it. However, if you say it first, he could say “I love you too” but maybe not really mean it.

If that happens, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. So, don’t you think it’s a good idea to wait for his lead? That way, you never have to question his true feelings.

[Read: How to read the signs your guy means it when he says “I love you” to you]

So, you now that you know the signs he wants to say ‘I love you’, do you think your man is wanting to say those three words?

The post 14 Signs He Wants to Say ‘I Love You’ to You But is Holding Back is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.