13 Subtle Ways to Hint and Flirt with a Coworker & See If They Like You

If you want to know how to flirt with a coworker, you need to do it in a way that avoids embarrassment if things go wrong. Flirting at work is perilous!

Ah, that awkward but common situation—having a crush on someone you work with. We’ve all been there at some stage, but did you ever try to move things along and find out if they felt the same way? It’s important to learn how to flirt with a coworker in the right way, to avoid possible embarrassment.

The biggest problem with this situation is that if you flirt up a storm and it doesn’t go your way, you continue to see them on a daily basis. It may make life difficult and embarrassing, and as a result, your work may suffer.

Of course, that’s the negative side. The positive? They might feel the same way and you could find yourselves the new hottest couple on the block! [Read: You can’t hide these signs of sexual tension with a coworker]

Crossing the line while flirting at work can be dangerous for your career, too

There’s a bit of red tape to consider before you even start learning how to flirt with a coworker.

Not every workplace allows relationships between coworkers, and it varies from place to place as to whether it’s prohibited or allowed. While most workplaces are a little more lenient these days than they were before, it’s still an unspoken rule in many cases.

It could also be that relationships or unions between different staff grades are frowned upon. You can argue until you’re blue in the face whether it’s right or not, but rules are rules. If your job is important to you *hopefully it will be*, then you need to know where you stand before you even attempt to try and flirt up a storm with the apple of your eye. [Read: 12 unwritten work spouse rules to keep things fun and uncomplicated]

Most workplaces have a code of conduct manual or document so simply check things out beforehand, but in the most subtle of ways!

Assuming you’ve done that and you know that coworker dalliances aren’t frowned upon, what else do you need to know? Oh, the fact that you’re potentially playing with fire.

Yes, more negatives, but we want you to be armed and prepared before you go into flirting battle. [Read: The biggest dos and don’ts of dating a coworker you simply can’t ignore]

How to flirt with a coworker – Tips, tricks, and things you need to know

Flirting at work is a little tricky but it’s not impossible. You just need to know the way to do it versus the things you shouldn’t do.

The first few points on this list are going to cover what you should do to flirt at work with someone you’re not seriously considering anything happening with. It’s just a bit of innocent flirtatious fun to make work more bearable.

But then, we’ll move on to how you can try and take things further – if you want to! [Read: The 30 best subtle, obvious, and really sexy flirting tips for girls]

1. Make it a joke

Instead of making your flirty comments serious and extremely flirty, say them more as a joke. You know how you used to poke fun at a kid you liked when you were little? The same type of flirting can be workplace appropriate.

Saying something funny like, “Running a little late because you needed extra time on that hair? It was worth it,” can be very funny and also complimentary and flirty. So long as it’s said jokingly and in a way that you’re making fun of them, it’s okay. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

2. Keep it appropriate

If you want to keep flirting at work, you have to keep things innocent. No sex comments and no comments that are inappropriate in nature at all. If anything has to do with their body or any reference to sexual things, you’ve crossed a line.

Things of sexual nature can’t really be taken as innocent. Once you get someone thinking of you in that context, it’s usually impossible to make them stop. So avoid sexual comments altogether.

3. No touching

Most companies have policies against any touching past a handshake, but just for clarity, don’t do it. You can definitely give someone a pat on the shoulder, but that’s really as far as you can take it.

You may want to get flirty at work and slap a coworker on the butt lightly, but you can’t. That’s definitely crossing a line. When you get physical, you can’t really be innocent about it. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

4. If you would get upset with your partner for doing the same, stop

The double standard is real in this case. If you know you’d be upset if your partner did the same, it’s crossing a line you can’t take back. The same applies if you’re single, but the other person isn’t.

Would you feel comfortable with someone else doing those same things to your partner while at work? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t be doing it either.

5. Never act on any flirtatious comments

Flirting at work can be completely innocent if work is the only place you ever flirt with that person. When you keep it confined to work, it becomes less of a flirtatious thing and more of a work-friend thing.

That being said, you should never, ever act on any comments you make. If you say anything about taking a person downtown and showing them a good time, don’t actually do that. Make the comment, but also make it clear that you’re not serious about it. [Read: Is flirting cheating when you’re in a relationship?]

6. Don’t flirt at any work functions where alcohol is involved

This is a HUGE no-no, but it seems to be the place everyone gets flirty – and then regrets it. When you have a work party or function of some sort and alcohol is involved, you can’t flirt.

Your inhibitions are lowered, and you don’t think clearly. And that means you could end up taking the flirting a little too far and ruining things at work for good. That’s not how you should go about learning how to flirt with a coworker!

7. Compliment something obvious

If you want to be flirty by complimenting them, then make it obvious. For instance, if they get a haircut, you can definitely tell them how great they look while smiling at them suggestively, but leave it at that.

If you compliment anything that’s less obvious and more personality-based, it can give them the wrong impression. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious, and really sexy flirting tips for girls]

8. Gauge their response

If you can tell that someone is taking your flirtatious comments a little too seriously, then lay off. You never want to lead someone on and then disappoint them with a denial when they ask you out.

This will make your work relationship very uncomfortable, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. So make sure you’re paying attention to how someone is responding to your flirting. When they show signs of interest, stop it completely.

9. Give them a playful wink

The best way flirting at work can be kept innocent is if you give a few playful winks here and there. This opens the door to flirting, but it also doesn’t cross a line.

A great way to do this is by giving someone a compliment followed by a small wink and a smile. This will get those flirty wheels turning in their head without making them think you want to hop into bed with them. [Read: How to wink like a total tease and catch anyone’s eye]

10. If you feel awkward, the line has been crossed

This should be obvious. If you feel weird about a flirty comment you made, it was too much. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable while flirting with people who aren’t your significant other.

If you do, it means that your comments aren’t all that innocent. To avoid this, follow the above advice and don’t take it that far. If you’ve already done this, stop the flirting and try to pretend like it never happened in the first place. [Read: 10 signs your partner’s coworker is too close for comfort]

11. If you want to take your flirting further, be very cautious

Now we’re moving on to the second part of this whole subject – if you want to see if this could be something good in your life. In that case, be cautious and take it very slowly indeed when learning how to flirt with a coworker.

Remember what we said about checking your workplace rules too? If you don’t, you could get into seriously hot water without realizing it.

12. Use body language to your advantage

Body language and selective verbal clues are things you can do every single day. It builds up the mystery and sexual tension, which can be taken out of the workplace.

For example, suggesting you meet up for a drink after work to discuss a project. Of course, you’re not going to discuss a project, you’re going to flirt a little harder! [Read: Flirty or friendly? The subtle differences to read the right signs]

A few useful ways to use body language and selective verbal clues are:

1. Make eye contact when you speak

2. Gently touch them on the arm when you’re speaking

3. Bite your lip subtly when you’re listening to them talk

4. Show interest in what they have to say [Read: 19 ways on how to be a better listener in a relationship]

5. Get them a coffee or a drink whenever you get one for yourself

6. Ask them how their evening was on a regular basis, i.e. showing interest

7. Nudge them gently in a playful manner

8. Identify mutual hobbies or things of interest and focus on talking about them [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

As you can see, these aren’t ‘in your face’ flirting techniques. They do get you closer to your crush and show a connection you don’t have with anyone else. By doing this, you create a little tension. Take the flirting up a notch, with eye contact, gentle touching, and lip biting.

Obviously, we don’t have to tell you that you shouldn’t go around touching people if they don’t seem comfortable with it, or in a way that would be deemed inappropriate. Remember, you’re at work!

A gentle, but fleeting, hand on the arm when making a point is as far as you should go. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]

13. Time to take the plunge

Once you’re sure that your coworker has grasped the idea that you’re flirting and not just being very friendly, and you see signs of flirting coming back your way, suggest a meeting outside of work. Now, as subtle as the rest of the flirting has been, continue the theme when you ask them out.

Keep work ingrained within it if you can. You can back out if they refuse. This will save your blushes in a big way! [Read: 16 signs of flirting at work to know if your coworker is hitting on you]

What if it goes wrong?

We hate being negative, but think about the possibility that either this person doesn’t like you in the same way, or things go well and then suddenly turn sour. Remember, you see this person on a daily basis at work and that could be excruciating for you in some situations.

Your job is important, and whether or not you see yourself staying with that company for the rest of your working days or not, it’s important to be professional and do your best while there. You’re not going to be able to do that if you cringe every time they walk into the office. [Read: What you need to do if your relationship with a coworker ends]

Of course, it could be equally as excruciating if your crush turns into a full blown love that you must keep quiet because you’re working with this person, and you’re scared to make a move.

The only thing you can do is go with what feels right and what you know you can live with. So, make your decision, and move toward the successful, but subtle, flirting plan.

[Read: How to handle a coworker crush like an adult]

Learning how to flirt with a coworker can be difficult. You might not feel you’re showing your crush that you’re interested. The subtle route lets you veil your attempts, providing you with an embarrassment safety net.

The post 13 Subtle Ways to Hint and Flirt with a Coworker & See If They Like You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

18 Signs Something Feels Off in Your Relationship & Doesn’t Feel Right

If something feels off in your relationship, it’s time to sit down and assess things clearly. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. 

No one ever said relationships were easy. To find someone you love and want to share your life with comes with hurdles, compromises, and more. At times, you might start to why something feels off in your relationship. It’s normal sometimes, but if it’s prolonged, it could be a warning sign.

But, with all of that your relationship should always bring you more happiness than sadness, fear, misery, or anything else.

Whether you and your partner have been fighting, living long distance, or feel bored, if there is something that feels off in your relationship, it shouldn’t be left alone. [Read: The rulebook on what’s normal doubts in a relationship]

Beware of overthinking

You’re reading this feature for one reason and one reason only. You’ve felt something is off in your relationship. Your mind is a hamster wheel, thinking about the million things that could be wrong. Let us guess the number one thought in your mind—your partner is cheating on you.

Before you jump to conclusions, beware of thinking too much and putting a story together in your head. Overthinking is the worst thing you can do right now.

We’re going to reassure you right now, because that thought is not a fast-track towards happiness. It’s highly unlikely that the reason your partner is acting slightly differently is because they are cheating. There, feel better now? [Read: How to stop overthinking in a relationship and calm your mind down]

Of course, they might be, but they’re probably not.

When you feel like something is a little ‘off,’ ask yourself one very important question. Is it really ‘off’ or do I just think it is? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, time to get a little deep and meaningful! [Read: How to stop being so clingy so they won’t up and leave you]

What exactly does something’s ‘off’ mean?

When something is off in your relationship, it means that you’re picking up a vibe that things aren’t quite right. Something has shifted or changed.

Are they acting distant? Are they less available for dates than they usually are? Do they not seem to want sex as often? Do they seem unhappy? What exactly is it that you’re picking up? Make sure you’re clear in your mind, because at this point it can be extremely easy to overanalyze, and therefore, overthink.

Before you know it, you’re on that hamster wheel again. [Read: What it feels like to have anxiety in a relationship]

All relationships go through periods when something doesn’t feel right

Even in the most successful and happy of relationships, things can feel off. They may feel off when you move in together. They may feel off if you haven’t seen each other in over a week.

All relationships have moments and times when things feel off. That is totally normal. So, try not to overanalyze or panic right away. Just because something feels off it doesn’t mean it is wrong.

It can be fleeting or lasting. Sometimes it can last a few days while one of you is going through something. It can happen when you are stressed or just don’t have time for each other like normal. [Read: 15 common reasons why people get bored with their relationships]

In those cases, you don’t have to worry. Just talk about it. Let your partner know that something feels off in your relationship and you want to make sure you are both on the same page. A simple talk should get you moving back in the right direction.

But, if it is bigger than a work problem or stress, you may want to worry. Our guts tell us when something feels off in our relationships. And they are usually right. [Read: 14 ways to learn better communication and make your relationship stronger]

Why something feels off in your relationship

All relationships are different. The reason your relationship feels off could be totally different to why your best friend’s relationship feels off, or your boss’s relationship feels off.

Apart from the minor things that can easily get back on track with open and honest communication, here are some other reasons why something doesn’t feel right in your relationship.

1. Your partner has a plan

Right before a big change is coming in your relationship, it is common for things to feel off. Similar to cold feet before a wedding, something tends to feel off before it feels right.

If your partner is planning to propose or buy you a dog, they may be acting shady and secretive. They may even pull away right before making a big grand gesture. This can be very hard to read and difficult to know. Give that ‘off’ feeling a little while to settle before acting on it. [Read: Steps to telling your partner you’re unhappy]

2. Your partner is keeping a secret

A proposal is a pretty great secret. But there are a lot of other secrets your partner could be keeping that aren’t so great. Even without any proof, your gut can feel something is off in your relationship.

We don’t want to scare you but it could be cheating, flirting, addiction, or even plans to move across the country without you. When something feels off in your relationship, it usually is.

3. You are keeping a secret

When you’re keeping something to yourself, it’s easy to start thinking that something doesn’t feel right. By hiding something small, like a weekend getaway or something big like a job promotion that makes your travel two weekends a month, your relationship can get out of whack really quickly.

Think about something you haven’t told your partner, even something minor like a coworker hit on you. Even if you shut it down, not telling your partner about it could be building up unresolved guilt. And that makes something feel off in your relationship. [Read: The must-know rules and exceptions for keeping secrets in a relationship]

4. You’re not talking

Once you get comfortable in a relationship, it can be easy to settle into a routine. You may go from talking every day and sharing your wants and needs, to falling asleep watching the same episode of your favorite show every night.

Losing that communication can quickly lead to an off feeling. When you go from sharing your feelings to just staying quiet, you no longer express yourself or understand how your partner is feeling. It makes sense that something would feel unusual. [Read: Lack of communication in relationships – How to fix this issue]

5. You’re not prioritizing your relationship

We know that responsibilities arise and your partner cannot be your number one priority 100% of the time. Jobs, kids, friends, and more take over. Your relationship could be put on the back burner.

It happens, but if you let it happen without acknowledging it things can feel off and only get worse from there. If you know that something feels strange because you’re super busy or your partner is overwhelmed with work, make time for each other when you can.

Have a date night once a week or once a month if that is all you can swing. Make sure you don’t cancel. Do something different and fun so you both have that to look forward to. [Read: How to rekindle your romance and fall in love again]

6. Someone wants to breakup

For some reason, in the current dating culture, people put off breaking up as long as possible. We all know it is hard to end things and that you don’t want to hurt the other person, but looking at it from a rational perspective lets you see that putting it off only makes things worse.

Whether you haven’t admitted your desire to breakup to yourself or your partner is feeling antsy that is a go-to reason something feels off in your relationship. [Read: 17 signs you’re past the point of no return and need to break up]

7. You’ve grown out of each other

People change. When relationships don’t change with those people, it just isn’t the same. As a result, your relationship may still be stuck in the past and that’s why something doesn’t feel right.

It sucks to admit it. Sometimes something feels off because it has changed so drastically and the relationship doesn’t fit you anymore. That is okay.

8. It just isn’t right

We know it is hard to hear, but sometimes if something feels off in your relationship, it’s because it is. There may be no rhyme or reason to it. You could have lost your chemistry or it just isn’t right.

You don’t always need a specific reason for something to be off. And if it feels off to you it probably is. [Read:  14 common reasons relationships fail]

9. You don’t feel fully comfortable around them

Naturally, it takes some time to become comfortable around someone you’re getting to know. Of course, we’re usually anxious at the beginning of a relationship. But eventually, you start to develop a level of comfort with the person which lays the foundation of your relationship.

If you’re not feeling comfortable around them after a couple of months, the odds are you’ll never feel comfortable around them. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]

10. You lack mutual interests

They say opposites attract but even opposites have things in common with each other. If you’re lacking things in common, like you don’t even enjoy the same genre of movies, then you’re going to have a problem.

At the very least, they understand the way you think, joke, and your values. If they can’t understand you, you’re in the wrong relationship and that’s why you’re getting the vibe that somethings off. [Read: The truth behind polar opposite relationships]

11. You’re responsible for their happiness

Of course, you want to make your partner happy. This is what we all want to achieve. However, this isn’t something you have to take on as a responsibility. If they believe it’s your job to make them happy, you’re going to be spending the rest of your life miserable.

It’s also going to make you constantly wonder what’s wrong and you’re always going to be borderline paranoid, wondering why something doesn’t feel right.

12. You’re making plans without each other

Maybe you save them a place in your plans if they decide to join you, but for the most part, your plans are made without you even thinking about them. The reason things feel off is because you’re not connecting like you used to by sharing experiences.

When you’re with someone you care about, you focus on planning things together whether it’s a vacation or trip to the mall. If your future plans are without them in mind, it sounds like something isn’t right in your relationship. [Read: 14 common reasons why relationships fail so often]

13. Spending time together is an issue

Normally, couples come to a subconscious agreement with how much time they spend together. Some couples understand that they need some alone time while others enjoy spending every day together. It’s simply personal preference. If it’s out of balance, that could be why something feels off.

If you cannot come to an agreement, and you don’t want to see your partner more, that’s something to question. Not having time is one thing. If you simply don’t want to see them, that’s a problem.

14. You don’t have a high opinion of them anymore

Uh, hello! If you don’t have a high opinion of your partner, well, this definitely isn’t an equal relationship. In your eyes, you don’t think your partner is as smart or attractive as you. Basically, they’re lucky to have you. 

They could be picking up on those vibes and everything feels wrong as a result. [Read: Are you a narcissist? The easy questions that reveal the truth instantly]

15. You miss being single

When our partners piss us off, we naturally think how it would be great to be single. But those thoughts fade quickly. If you spend most of your time thinking about your single life and genuinely missing it, then it’s a clear sign something is missing in your relationship.

Maybe you’re forcing something to happen at the wrong time and it’s causing you to think that something doesn’t feel right. [Read: Signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

16. Deep down you’re not happy

When you’re around your partner, you should be happy to spend time with them. Okay, we can get on each other’s nerves but that doesn’t mean you’re unhappy with them. If having your partner in your life doesn’t make you happier, then are you even with the right person?

The fact you’re not happy means you’re going to notice something is off – it’s your feelings that are off.

17. You don’t feel the love

When in a long-term relationship, it’s normal to feel distant from your partner from time to time. Usually, these are small phases which pass. However, if you can’t seem to move past those phases, maybe you’re emotionally distancing yourself already.

This isn’t a bad thing. It’s a wake-up call showing you the relationship is coming to an end and that’s why something doesn’t feel quite right. [Read: Falling out of love – Why it happens, 5 reasons, and signs to see it ASAP]

18. You feel it in your gut

You know how important it is to listen to your gut, usually it’s never wrong. And when it comes to love, your gut is right. If you feel it in your gut and in the back of your mind, you know this isn’t the right person for you, you’re right.

You can try to prove yourself wrong again and again, but at the end of the day, you get to the same point. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]

Communication is always key

The idea of talking about it all might fill you with the shivers, and not in a good way, but communication within a relationship is so important. How you have this conversation however is just as important. Don’t jump straight in there with accusations, ‘are you cheating on me? You seem so distant, why are you always on your phone?’

That is just going to cause an argument and it’s probably not at all what you’re thinking. In that case, you’re going to have the ‘you don’t trust me’ conversation, and who knows where that will lead?

It’s far better to act like the concerned party here when you feel like something is off in your relationship. When you’re both watching TV after dinner, or in a similar casual situation, just throw it out there in an equally casual manner. [Read: How to have a difficult conversation without losing your nerve]

Something like ‘I don’t want to pry, but you just seem really quiet lately, is there something on your mind?’

That is a far better option than ‘we need to talk about the state of our relationship.’ Serious chats, with an undercurrent of blame will only lead to confrontation, and in this case it could turn that ‘something is off’ to your relationship being off completely.

Hopefully your partner will then simply shrug their shoulders and say that they’re sorry if you think they’ve been distant, they’re just stressed with work, or something similar. Of course, they might also say nothing is wrong, and in that case you’re back to square one. [Read: How to deal with difficult people while keeping your cool and sanity]

If that does happen and you’re getting yourself more and more wound up by the situation, you can take it a step further. Say something like ‘Well, I’m here if you want to talk about something. I just want our relationship to be how it used to be, and I’m not really feeling that at the moment.’ Leave it at that.

Do not push it any further. You’re at your limit with this comment. It’s reassured them that you’re there for them, but it’s made it clear that you’ve noticed a shift. Walk away now and see what happens. [Read: 10 communication techniques to get them to open up to you]

What if it’s not something simple?

If you want to fix whatever is off, try to. You can try it on your own or go to couple’s therapy to really get everything out in the open.

But, sometimes when something is off it just is, and ending it is the best thing you can do to get back to feeling normal and well, sane. We know it is hard to end a relationship no matter how long you’ve been together, but not every relationship needs to last.

Some people come into our lives for weeks, months, or years and are not meant to stay forever. They come and serve their purpose. Then we move on. [Read: 10 ways to know if your relationship is worth keeping]

Always remember that life is full of ups and downs

Remember that life is full of ups and downs, and we sometimes feel a little down for no reason, and then up for equally no reason. Work can be stressful, health can be a little problematic occasionally, we have family problems, we have arguments with friends, and sometimes even the weather can make us feel funky.

All of this can impact on the way we interact with those closest to us. It’s not always something to worry about. If it is bothering you, a casual conversation will give you more information and help you move forward.

[Read: How to set boundaries in your relationship for a healthy love]

Next time you are wondering why something feels off in your relationship, refer back to here. Once you realize something doesn’t feel right, then decide what the best next move is.

The post 18 Signs Something Feels Off in Your Relationship & Doesn’t Feel Right is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

One Month Anniversary: Things To Know After the First 30 Days of Dating

You’ve been dating for a month and now you’re wondering what it really means. Your one month anniversary means you still need to move slowly.  

Happy one month anniversary! We hope the last 30 days have been as amazing as this day makes it seem.

Dating might be fun, but it’s also hella confusing! What’s happening when you’ve been dating for a month? Are you exclusive? Is there someone else in the picture too? What does all of this mean? Can you even celebrate your one month anniversary?

Oh, the questions!

There is a reason why that initial period of dating is often peppered with moments of no sleep, not wanting to eat, and analyzing text messages like you belong in a detective movie! [Read: 25 infatuation symptoms and how to guess how long it’ll last for you]

The problem is, if you jump too soon and make things too serious too quickly, you run the risk of ruining a potentially good thing before it even gets off the ground.

At the same time, you don’t really know what the other person is thinking your dating situation is, and if you don’t have a conversation about it, albeit lighthearted, you might be totally confusing each other without reason.

Can you see the difficulty here? [Read: How to get over dating anxiety – Face your fear and get back out there]

Relationships have phases you have to go through

The honeymoon period of a relationship is talked about a lot – that first six months to a year when romance is blossoming at its fullest. And you are right in the midst of it. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and you probably haven’t even fought yet.

Not to kill the vibe, but after this exciting time, there is a cool-down period. At this point, a couple may change their approach to one another, leading to disappointment, relationship strife, and possibly even separation.

Some people say this is when your true color shines through. You’ve stopped being on your best behavior and the real nitty-gritty parts of your personalities come out to play.

However, it’s not just the honeymoon period that sets up a period of potential cooling down. There is a period when first dating, perhaps for the first month, when each half of the dating couple is quite guarded about how they present themselves and their lives.

So, when can you call yourselves the real deal? At what point does a dating situation turn into a relationship?

It’s a personal situation that varies from couple to couple, but if you’ve been dating for a month? Wait a while and let things breathe. [Read: 13 new relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

What it means when you’ve been dating for a month 

Everyone assumes relationships and dating mean different things. Your timeline might not be the same as your beau’s, and if you rush them, you might push them away. On the other hand, why should you sit around waiting, scared to ask a very normal question? [Read: Dating vs. relationship – How to know your true status]

The problem with trying to put a label on something when you’ve only been dating for a month is that you’re still getting to know each other.

It’s impossible to really know someone that well after just one month of being in each other’s lives. When we meet someone, we’re often on our best behavior for a while. That period can often extend into a few months!

If you rush it and want a label on what this new thing is, you run the risk of ruining it before it even starts. [Read: DTR Talk – How many dates before it becomes official?]

Rather than sitting down and having ‘the conversation’ after dating for a month, why not look for signs instead? Play detective, try and work it out, and let time pass a little before making things solid and official. [Read: How fast is too fast in a relationship? Your guide to perfect timings]

The most important things you’ve learned by your one month anniversary

Below are some of the most common things people in relationships learn about their significant other by their one month anniversary, whether it’s traits that they adore or reasons to abandon ship.

1. They’re far from perfect

A lot of image management goes on before your one month anniversary. Everyone wants to present themselves in the best possible light. They try to avoid letting any negative traits slip through.

However, once they start to relax, the real person becomes more apparent, and the realization may dawn that they aren’t quite the image of perfection you previously thought. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize love that hurts you]

It could be something as insignificant as a bad personal habit, like poor table manners, or a penchant for biting their nails. It could be far more serious, such as overtly bigoted tendencies or a complete lack of regard for hygiene.

Either way, their legend has–in your eyes, at least–been diminished.

2. Their friends are your friends

You might be very choosy about who you usually consider being friends with. Still, once the two of you get a little more comfortable together, you will start to encounter each other’s circle of acquaintances.

This could be a good thing if they are good people. However, there are always those few idiots that your potential lifemate has chosen to take under their wing. And guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it, as you quickly realize that their friends are now your friends, too. [Read: How to get your partner’s friends to like you]

3. They aren’t your type

You normally have a particular type, but it swiftly becomes apparent that they have managed their image to the point where there was no hint of the true them. That person you thought they were, quite simply, doesn’t exist. Your choice is to either give it a go and see if you can broaden your tastes or jump ship while you still can.

The first, second, and even third dates can give you an impression of someone you’re excited about. But by the time you hit the one month anniversary, you may realize everything you saw was a ruse.[Read: 5 most important signs of relationship compatibility]

4. They might NOT be the one

It’s easy to get carried away with your romantic inclinations during the first few weeks of dating. The immediate feelings of excitement can even convince you that they are the one.

It doesn’t take long, though, for that impression to wear off, and, at around the one-month mark, you start to realize that they are actually just human.

Whether that encourages you to ditch them or not is entirely down to your way of doing things. Do you want to keep having fun? Maybe you think they’ll grow on you.

It really comes down to whether you believe in romantic miracles or you’re the kind that perhaps prefers a bit of common sense and you’re willing to give them a try. [Read: Is he the one? How to know if he’s the one who’s perfect for you]

5. You might not be ready

This person you’ve met really does float your boat. They look great, dress great, hold conversations on any subject, but still like to have fun. You admire personal aspirations and goals. Yet, no matter how perfect they are, there is just something off.

You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it isn’t right.

If you realize that you’d rather be out and about, partying with friends and leading a singleton’s lifestyle, maybe you should do them a courtesy and just let them go rather than lead them on. [Read: 32 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]

6. The sex needs some work

The first time you have sex with a new partner may not be all fireworks and moaning. It can actually be awkward. But once you have a few rolls between the bedsheets down and things still aren’t better, something needs to change.

At your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t be faking it. This is the time when sex is super exciting, and you’re learning a lot about each other’s bodies. If it is boring or unpleasant at this point, you either need an open dialogue or a way out. [Read: How to talk about sex without it getting awkward]

7. The family are not fans

You may not meet the parents this early on in a relationship, but if you have, you can tell if they like you or not. You may experience a certain amount of distrust and suspicion on their part. This is often the case in the early days, but there’s plenty of time to win them over.

Realizing that your partner’s parents aren’t particularly keen on you is no reason to run; if they’re worth it, you’ll make an effort. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

8. You have very different tastes

Maybe one of you is an adventurous eater of foreign delicacies, whereas the other prefers simple, home-cooked food. Perhaps you go to the cinema to watch an action movie, and the other is more about comedies.

Whatever the subject, you realize that several *or many* of your tastes are entirely different. Now, opposites do attract, and different tastes shouldn’t tear you apart. So, try not to let this realization put you off. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]

9. You’re still attracted to other people

This is quite hard to accept if you’ve convinced yourself that you’ve started dating your perfect person. But there can be no denying the fact–you still find that other people can quite easily catch your eye.

This is only natural, and anyone who denies this particular realization probably isn’t telling the whole truth. [Read: In a relationship but sexually attracted to others? Why this happens]

10. You’re in it for the wrong reasons

Sometimes, we hide the truth from ourselves, for whatever reason that may be. A prime example would be the case of starting a relationship on the rebound. At first, you may think that you’re in it for all the right reasons, but after those first few weeks, you slowly realize the truth–and this is a foundation that needs to be addressed.

Maybe you’ve been single for a while and have met someone you like and who likes you back, but you realized you’ve been dating them to fight loneliness, not because you’re really invested. Now is the time to cut things off before you get in even deeper than a one month anniversary. [Read: 9 reasons you’re still with the wrong partner]

11. Your nerves aren’t budging

Those nerves you get before the first few dates can be exciting, but it can be a real pain if they don’t go away. You want to get comfortable with the person you’re dating, but having butterflies, sweaty palms, and dry mouth isn’t cute.

Try to think about why this might be the case. Do you really like them that much, or does something feel off?

12. You complain about them

By the time you’ve been together a few weeks, you have probably spoken to your friends about the person you’re seeing. You’ve told them how the dates have gone, if they’re a good kisser and where you see things going.

But, if you have spent most of your time with friends complaining about how the person you’re seeing doesn’t text back, cancels plans, or is controlling, that’s a major sign that your one month anniversary will be your last. [Read: The subtle clues you should leave the relationship]

13. You’re happy

Sure, things can always change, but you know if this person is making you happy after a month together. Do you look forward to spending time with them? Or do you sigh a big breath of relief when you head home after a date?

After your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t have too many questions about this.

14. You know what you want

Do you want to keep dating? Do you want things to be more serious? Are you ready for a commitment? By the time you hit the one-month mark, you might have the answers to these questions.

Now is the time to talk to your partner and see where they stand. [Read: Learn how to take control of your love life]

15. You are excited to celebrate your one month anniversary

It is your one month anniversary. You are either indifferent, annoyed, or happy. If you are glad you made it a month and feel excited for the next one, that is amazing. But, if you are surprised you made it this long, it may be time to cut your losses.

Why dating for a month doesn’t mean too much… yet

We don’t want to burst your bubble here. The fact that you’ve had a new person in your life for a month is a good sign, for sure. BUT it isn’t an official sign of anything solid, at least not yet.

You’re still trying to get to know this new person, and you’re encountering new situations together. As a result, you can see how they react to different problems, and it could shed some serious light on whether they’re right for you or not. On the flip-side, they’re still trying to get to know you too.

Be honest. Are you on your own best behavior at this point, or are you really letting them see you as you are, warts and all? You’re probably still trying to impress them at this point. In all honesty, they don’t really know you that well either. [Read: Honeymoon phase – How to calculate how long it’ll last for you both]

The only thing that can mean anything in relationships is time. When time passes and you’re still together, you’re making progress and you’re really getting to know that person, for their good and bad points.

That’s why when you’ve been dating for a month, sure it’s exciting and it’s wonderful, but as we said before, you should wait before putting labels on things and getting too excited. A month is a very short amount of time. You might have been on vacation for a month before, but that doesn’t mean you were about to up sticks and move to that place! [Read: New relationship advice all new couples must know]

This person might still be in your life in several months’ time, and let’s hope they are. They might also ebb away and disappear, creating part of your history. Either way, you had great times together, and that’s something you should hang on to.

Take things as they come. Don’t rush, don’t have conversations about what things are. Don’t try and label it. Enjoy it, get to know each other, make memories and cherish every second of this honeymoon period.

At this stage, there isn’t much bad going down. You don’t know their downsides yet, so you can enjoy all the positives instead! Trust us, everyone has a downside. We all have to deal with problems in relationships, when you’ve been dating for a month, none of that exists yet. [Read: The stages of a new and budding romance that define your relationship]

How can you know if you’re the only one?

At this point, you can’t.

At this point, you might still be friends with benefits. The person you’re seeing might be dating other people. Hell, you might be dating other people!

It’s not possible to know this situation unless you talk about it, but if you talk about it, you run the risk of rushing things too quickly. [Read: How to ask your date if they’re seeing others minus the awkwardness]

Here’s our advice. If exclusiveness from the start is important to you, make that clear. However, you can date exclusively and still keep things light and casual. There is nothing heavy going on at this point, and there doesn’t have to be any rush toward any of that happening.

Go with the flow. Seriously, this is the fun part! It might be confusing, you might be desperate for clarity, but in a few years, when you look back, you’ll kick yourself for missing all the fun stuff.

It might work out, it might not, but whatever happens, have fun finding out!

[Read: How to navigate the early stages of dating like a pro]

You may experience several realizations about your new partner after the one month anniversary rears its head. But, things can always change if they weren’t what you thought they’d be. Even the best relationships require hard work.

The post One Month Anniversary: Things To Know After the First 30 Days of Dating is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

NEW VIDEO: Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life, Part 7

The seventh and final installment in my GirlsChase.TV video series “Picking Up Girls in Your Day-to-Day Life” is here.

In this (free) video I arm you with eight (8) great tips to bolster your results as you use the daily-life pickup tips we covered in the other videos in the series.

In the video, you’ll discover:

• How ACTIVE (or not) you have to be to pull this type of lifestyle off. Hint: you don’t have to be a “super extrovert” to make daily life pickup a reality

• What to do to keep your day-to-day life picking up even when you’re busy (or if you’re someone who simply doesn’t like socializing a lot)

• An important “activities” tip that lets you avoid burn out. Follow this tip to keep your daily life picking up fun & easy!

• The “burning the candle at both ends” problem – I ran into this while “integrating” and wish I knew then the advice I have for you here…

• Why it’s so key you actually LIKE the people you’re building your lifestyle with (you can get into “volume” lifestyle building, but the liking consideration is very important)

• Doing your socializing in “bursts” rather than always being the social guy all the time – how to do this (without losing momentum) and who this “uneven” style is suited for

• One thing to keep an eye out for WHILE doing your pickup and socializing… many guys overlook this, but it gives the guys who don’t a great extra “edge” and benefit!

• A final lesson on building an integrated pickup/daily lifestyle that suits YOU, not one that is completely carbon-copied from me or someone else

This final video is a FREE installment in the series, which you can watch even if you’re not a GirlsChase.TV Premium subscriber.

Of course, you’ll still need a subscription to watch the really meaty Parts 3-6 in the series… but if you don’t have one yet you can watch this video + Parts 1 & 2.

Here’s my video on daily life pickup bonus tips & tidbits:

(click to watch Part 7)

Strategic Calibration: 3 Levels of Seductive Adjustment

There are three levels of calibration in seduction, and they all matter: the micro, meso, and macro levels. You must calibrate each level for a truly optimal seductive strategy.

Hey guys.

Table of Contents

1. Three Levels of Strategic Calibration

How to Masturbate: 23 Self-Pleasure & Solo Orgasm Secrets for Girls

If you want to learn how to masturbate, the good news is that there really isn’t a right or wrong way! Self-pleasure is personal, but a few tips never hurt. 

Going solo, self-pleasuring, flicking your bean, onanism. Female masturbation goes by many names, yet it comes as no surprise that many women are still hush-hush about their solo stints. Learning how to masturbate isn’t something you’ll hear talked about that often, but why not? Self-pleasure is an important part of life!

The National Health and Social Life survey reported that 58 percent of women don’t get their hands dirty on themselves. If that’s you, you’re denying yourself one of life’s greatest, most satisfying pleasures—especially when you’re not doing it right. [Read: 34 life-changing steps to fall in love with yourself all over again]

Masturbation is a personal deal

Everyone has their own way of getting the job done, but just in case you’re in need of some direction or are simply looking for new ideas, the following tips will definitely come in handy.

There is no right or wrong way to pleasure yourself. If it feels good, go for it! Female masturbation is way more than just bringing yourself to orgasm *although that is pretty awesome*. It’s about exploring your body and satisfying every aspect of your mind, body, and soul.

Whether you’re a pro at it or you’re a novice discovering herself for the first time, we’ve got a long list of self-pleasure tips just for you. [Read: Sexy solo sex positions that are guaranteed to pleasure you]

How to masturbate – A woman’s guide to self-pleasure

Remember, masturbation isn’t something that only “easy” women do; it’s something most women do. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to let your fingers do the walking *if that’s your preference* with these self-pleasure tips.

1. Set the mood

What gets you in the mood for self-love is personal. Do what you have to do to set the scene to ensure you totally enjoy yourself.

Take a bath, light some candles, play soft music: whatever it takes to make you feel sensual and sexual. [Read: The absolute best songs for a sensual and sexy time]

2. Privacy is key

Unless you’re into getting caught or pleasuring yourself while someone else watches *which, by the way, can be lots of fun too* make sure you’re totally alone and won’t be disturbed. Nothing kills a good solo love session quicker than worrying about being interrupted.

3. Know that masturbation is mental

What you need to know is that while sex is physical, it’s really more mental. If you’re having a bad day, you may not be feeling as sexual, which means you’re probably not going to arouse as easily. So, whether masturbating or having sex, it’s all in the mind.

If you want to masturbate, relax your mind and don’t go into it nervous or stressed out. This is just you exploring your body. [Read: How to have sex with yourself and learn what turns your body on]

4. Get into the groove

The buildup and the mood are the two most important things before you masturbate. While we can easily be turned on by a five-second kiss, the same can more or less be said about getting into the mood for some “me” time.

You can light up some candles, apply some scented lotion all over your body, turn up some Marvin Gaye, and do a little sexy dance in front of the mirror in your best lingerie, before you get down on yourself.

Depending on each person, turning yourself on can vary in timing, but the important thing is you are comfortable and ready for some self-action. [Read: How to turn yourself a lot more using your five senses]

5. Don’t rush through it

If you’ve ever watched porn, then you’ll see them masturbating as fast as they can but that’s just for the camera. You’re living in reality. You don’t need to rush through the experience in order to achieve an orgasm, unless speed turns you on.

By slowing down, you’ll have better control of the movements and feel your body’s reaction. Experiment with speeds, positions, pressure, and strokes when you masturbate. 

6. You’ll need to focus

Going at it alone requires focus and concentration, especially if climaxing is your ultimate goal. Without the aid of a partner, it is up to you to be everything you need in order to satisfy your urges.

Think sexy thoughts and don’t be afraid to include someone you want to get down and dirty with in those thoughts to really turn you on. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]

7. Let your fantasies run wild

Double your pleasure by fantasizing while you masturbate. In your mind, you’re free to think about anyone and do anything your little heart desires. If your fantasies take you straight to Dirty Town, go with it – anything goes when you’re in your own head. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else and not feel guilty]

8. Explore your entire body

Don’t just go straight to petting the kitty. Take some time to explore and tease other parts of your body too. After all, pleasuring yourself should be an all-encompassing experience.

Run your hands over your body to discover all the different areas that like to be touched.

9. Begin with a massage

Relax your muscles and tune into the feel of your body by giving yourself a massage. Using a light and firm touch, run your hands over your arms and across your shoulders. Rub tense muscles in your neck. Notice how soft your skin is.

A massage is a great way to help your body prepare for a mind-blowing orgasm. [Read: How to give a sensual massage and work your magic]

10. Don’t neglect your breasts

For most women, the breasts are a major erogenous zone. Don’t leave the girls out when you’re going solo.

Gently squeeze, pull, and trace your nipples with varying degrees of firmness to get your motor running and keep it in high gear. [Read: 10 tips for women who want a mind blowing orgasm]

11. Definitely use lube

Using a good lube helps make the whole experience more sensual and pleasurable. There are many different types of lube on the market, so experiment to see which one helps you achieve the strongest orgasms.

If you’re too embarrassed to buy lube at the store, try purchasing it when you buy tampons. It makes sense, and no one will be any the wiser. [Read: 13 perfectly good lube substitutes that work just as well as the real thing]

12. Get in touch with your clitoris

If you and your clitoris aren’t close yet, make it a priority. The clitoris is the key to the Big O for most women. Here are a few ways to stimulate this sex spot to unleash the most amazing sensations.

a. Use your fingers

Slowly and gently rub your clitoris. If direct contact is too intense, try stroking around it rather than directly on it.

Experiment with different types of touch and movement to find what feels the best for you. [Read: A step-by-step guide to achieving multiple orgasms]

b. Use a vibrator

Some women like them, some women don’t. Stimulating your clitoris with a vibrator can quickly bring you to orgasm if you’re pressed for time.

If you find the vibrations too overwhelming, try turning down the speed or using a washcloth or towel between you and the vibrator to lessen the effect.

c. Use the showerhead

Using a removable showerhead to direct a stream of water onto your lady bits is very sexually stimulating, especially if it has an adjustable spray feature.

Play around with the different settings until you find the one that does the trick for you. [Read: Accidental orgasms – 7 sexy ways to make the unexpected happen!]

d. Use a pillow

A more “romantic” self-pleasuring technique uses a strategically placed pillow to simulate sex with a partner. Place a soft pillow between your legs like you’re riding a horse. Squeeze your thighs together and rock your pelvis back and forth.

13. Penetrate the vagina

While it’s true that many women cannot achieve orgasm from strictly vaginal penetration, it doesn’t mean that you should neglect it altogether when you masturbate.

In fact, penetrating the vagina during masturbation can unlock hidden pleasures you never knew existed.

Here are a couple of things to do to include your vagina in the fun.

a. Use a dildo

Similar to a vibrator, a dildo is simply a phallic-shaped device meant to be inserted into the vagina during sexual play. You control its movement by thrusting it in and out of your vagina at your own preferred pace.

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, so be sure to visit your local adult store or shop online to find your favorite. [Read: 7 reasons why some women just don’t like a dildo]

b. Use your fingers

If the idea of using a dildo doesn’t appeal to you, use your fingers instead. Gently insert one, two, or more fingers into your vagina and move them in and out in a way that feels good.

c. Find the G-spot

Although a mystery to many women, the G-spot can get you singing its praises wholeheartedly once you find it. The G-spot, located inside the vagina, is a small, rough patch on the upper front wall. It is easier to find it when you’re aroused, so stimulating this sex button should be done after you’re good and ready.

Use your index and middle fingers to find your G-spot. Once you do, make a light “come-hither” motion. You’ll feel the area become more pronounced the more turned on you get.

Alternately, you can lay your fingers flat against the spot and move your arm to rub back and forth. [Read: How to find and tingle your G-spot without a flashlight]

14. Do double duty

It takes a little bit more effort and practice, but penetrating the vagina and stimulating the clitoris is the ultimate in orgasmic pleasure. Use a dildo to penetrate the vagina while you use your fingers to play with your clitoris.

15. Try some porn

It’s not for everyone, but if you’ve never watched porn while pleasuring yourself, you might be missing out. While most think porn is a guy thing, it has the same effect on some women, too.

Don’t rule it out until you’ve tried it. [Read: 10 reasons why watching girl-on-girl porn can help you masturbate better]

16. Read an erotic story

Nothing gets the juices flowing better than the imagination and a good erotic story. Dubbed the “female version of pornography,” erotica fuels your fantasies. It might not be for you, but you owe it to yourself to give it a try at least once.

17. Try edging

If you don’t want to orgasm right away, edge. Edging is when you stop masturbating right before orgasm. Then, slowly start masturbating again. It makes the orgasm stronger, and you’ll have an explosive orgasm at the end.

You can do this stop-and-go method as much as you like. [Read: Learn the art of edging for sizzling orgasms]

18. If you’re not into it, you can stop at any time

There’s nothing worse than masturbating because you think it’s something you have to do. If you’re not feeling sexual or simply not interested in it, then don’t do it. This isn’t something that you have to do.

Take your time with this.

19. Add some anal play into the mix

We assume that masturbating means solely focusing on the vagina or penis, but you’re forgetting that there are other parts of your body that are just as fun. Now, most of us get a little scared when we hear the word anal, which is why it’s best to test this out on your own first.

While masturbating, circle your anus with your finger and slowly put it in. See how that feels, just make sure your finger is lubed up. [Read: 17 benefits of anal sex that’ll make you and your bum wanna bend over]

20. Don’t forget other erogenous zones

If you’ve watched porn, but crappy porn, they mostly focus on the vagina and penis when masturbating. What they completely leave out are the other erogenous zones.

These are areas of your body that are sensitive to stimulation – ears, neck, mouth, lips, nipples – touch these areas while masturbating, and you’ll have sparks of electricity shoot through your body. Try pinching, pulling, squeezing, and rubbing these areas. [Read: How to lube yourself up and drive you wild]

21. It’s going to take practice

When you masturbate, you’re basically learning what your body likes on a sexual level. So, you’re not going to touch yourself once and suddenly become a guru of your vagina.

You’re going to have to masturbate a decent amount of times to understand what speed, pressure, strokes, and positions get you aroused.

Don’t get discouraged after the first time, you’ll need countless more to perfect this skill. [Read: Learn to explore yourself and get in the mood]

22. Explore different toys

To further take your orgasms and the whole experience up a notch, you can bring out some toys. Sex toys. While there are thousands to choose from when it comes to adult toys, a good vibrator is your best friend when it comes to female masturbation.

If you find the idea of going into an actual adult toy shop a little unsettling, especially if it’s your first time, you can try shopping online.

It’s best to choose one that has different speed limits and vibrating patterns so you can easily adjust depending on your own personal preference. [Read: 13 must-try sex toys for naughty first timers]

23. Master the techniques you like

When you have all the toys and your masturbation ambience down pat, it is important to know and master the techniques that give you the best orgasms every time. With this comes a good understanding of your anatomy and what parts of your vagina give you the most powerful sensations.

Here are a few ideas:

a. The Classic technique is simple as you just need to use your four fingers to rub back and forth or side to side against your clit and the rest of your outer vagina.

b. The U-Spot, meanwhile, allows you to stimulate your clit and the inverted u-shape portion around it, and just above your urethral opening, using your finger.

c. The Featherlite is another technique that is best for those who have overly sensitive clits where direct and hard pressure can become painful. This technique applies the lightest pressure on the very edge of the clit using your finger. [Read: How to masturbate the right way – 14 sexy self pleasure tips for women]

d. Of course, fingering is another great way to get off, in which you penetrate yourself using your fingers. You can do this using your own natural juices or by using lubes. And don’t forget your G-spot!

You deserve a little alone time for self-pleasure

When you learn how to masturbate, you’re not just enjoying yourself intimately, but you’re putting your own needs first. That’s important in life.

Masturbation can also help you to learn the things you like in the bedroom. You can then share that knowledge with your partner and have a much better sex life as a result.

[Read: Female masturbation – 17 naughty facts about the naughty secret]

Remember, most women do it or have done it at some point in their lives. Use the tips above to learn how to masturbate and discover more about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom when it comes to self-pleasure and solo orgasms!

The post How to Masturbate: 23 Self-Pleasure & Solo Orgasm Secrets for Girls is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

28 Flirty Ways to Tease a Guy & Make Him Realize He Really Likes You

Want to make him desire you like no-one else? You need to learn how to tease a guy. Make him see what he’s missing by giving and taking away! 

Knowing how to tease a guy is a subtle yet intricate task. It is all about giving and pulling back, but knowing the right time to do both.

In order to get a guy’s attention, sometimes, being straightforward just doesn’t work. Many guys, even the decent ones, are conditioned to want what they can’t have. So learning how to tease a guy is a wonderful way to get his undivided attention.

That’s right, ladies, time to switch up the power dynamics. Listen, he’s going to get what he wants in the end – he just doesn’t know it yet. Making him work for it is more enjoyable for both of you.

He’ll feel like he earned it, and well, you’ll not only learn how to tease a man, but you’ll also understand the power you hold. [Read: Why do guys come back when you ignore them?]

The art of teasing a guy

Teasing a guy sounds simple enough, right? Well, it is a bit more complicated than what you may have done to your grade school crush. Teasing a guy in terms of dating him is not about poking fun at his shortcomings.

In fact, learning how to tease a guy is a subtle art. It is about give and take. It is about mystery and small glimpses. [Read: 5 different types of flirting and how to pick one that works for you]

Let’s use lingerie as an example. There is a reason it is so popular and that’s because It is all about teasing. What makes it so sexy is that it doesn’t give everything away at once. Instead, it hints at what’s beneath but still leaves you guessing.

This is how attraction works. Think about your favorite show. If it ends with a cliffhanger, that is a form of teasing – even a trailer for a movie is called a teaser for a reason. It gives you just enough to want more.

That is how you have to think about teasing a guy. [Read: How to tease a man and make you tantalizing to him]

The benefits of teasing a guy

Now that you get the idea about what teasing a guy really is, why would you do it? Well, as we said, guys don’t always know what they want.

Sometimes, we need to take the lead and show them. But, again, rather than walking up to your crush and saying you’re interested and hoping that ignites their feelings, subtlety can often actually speak even louder.

Teasing is like a slow burn. You have to have patience, and it forces him to build up a longing that makes the end of the teasing even better. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and make him yours]

You can tease him sexually or emotionally, and it will trigger something in him that wants to know more. Although not every guy is built the same, learning how to tease a guy can enhance your connection from when you first see him.

Teasing shows that you have wildly enhanced self-control. It shows that you are in control. It tells a guy that there is a lot more to you below the surface, making him want to discover what that is.

And teasing is not just about sex or playing hard to get. Learning how to tease a guy lets you guide the story. [Read: How to make playing hard to get work for you]

How to tease a guy the right way and make him desire you more

Hopefully, you are now convinced that learning how to tease a guy can benefit you in more ways than one. But, how do you do it?

It isn’t like learning how to put together flat-pack furniture. There isn’t a map to success or a list of instructions. Rather, you learn how to tease a guy through trial and error. With this list, you can look toward success more often than anything else! [Read: Relationship power plays – What men need to know]

1. Practice

Just like nearly everything else in life, practice makes perfect. If you are nervous about teasing a guy you actually like, try it out on strangers. Don’t tease a guy friend, but someone you just met at the bar.

This lets you start with a blank slate. It also prevents the chances of things getting complicated, as you just met. Instead, you can see what works for you and what doesn’t. For example, is being touchy and playful your thing, or are you more shy and mysterious?

Is your teasing going to come from body language and eye contact, or your words and banter? Trying different teasing styles on strangers will help you determine what works and what doesn’t before you try it with a guy you really like. [Read: How to turn any guy on without even touching him]

2. Take advantage of technology

If you are just trying to tease a guy for the first time, you may feel a little awkward or uncomfortable. So, try it over text or social media before doing it in person. Something as simple as a winking emoji can show interest without giving away too much.

You can be subtle with this, or even responding to his text late and saying you just got out of the shower lets his mind wander without you actually saying anything sexual. [Read: How to get a man to chase you and fall really hard]

3. Start a competition

Competition has a way of raising the adrenaline and chemistry in all of us. So whether you tease a guy at the bar by daring him to shotgun a beer or claiming you can name more actors on Game Of Thrones than him, it ignites a spark.

Friendly competition is the adult equivalent to telling your childhood crush he has cooties.

4. Flirt and pull back

This is probably the easiest way to tease a guy and get him interested. Flirt as you normally would, but pull back. We’re not saying to be hot and cold or ghost him randomly, but just hint at your interest so that he isn’t sure how you feel.

This mystery may seem confusing, but it challenges him to want to find out more. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]

5. Talk about sex

Just subtly bringing up sex around him is teasing. Bring up a sex scene on that TV show you both watch.

Talk about something you read in a book. Make sure not to talk about sex with an ex or anything too clinical. Just mentioning anything revolving around the topic will get his motors running. [Read: How to make a guy really horny just by sitting next to him]

6. Use your body

Body language is a key piece of flirting and teasing. Avoid kissing or anything too obvious. Instead, just place your hand on his arm when he’s talking or playfully tap him when you laugh at his joke.

Even your clothes can be a method of learning how to tease a guy. So instead of going all out with sexy attire, show off your best asset. Drawing attention to just one part is sexier and more focused. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

7. Don’t push it too far

Teasing is an art that means it can be overdone easily and why we told you to practice. You don’t want to tease a guy until he is so confused he moves on or goes nuts.

Teasing should be subtle. It is just enough interest to get him excited, but not so much he is 100% sure you’re interested. And once he makes his intentions known, let it go. Once you’ve kissed or made it to your intended target, mysterious teasing is off the table.

Sure, you can still sexually tease someone you’re dating, but once they know you’re interested in them for sure, teasing just becomes immature. [Read: Signs of unspoken attraction that reveal when someone is into you too]

8. Be confident

Teasing and flirting, in general, really don’t work without a level of confidence. Know you are worth his effort and believe that you are worth his time.

If you second guess yourself, so will he. Own who you are and exude that attitude to make teasing a guy work for you.

9. Compliment him

One of the easiest ways you can tease a guy is with a compliment. Show him that you admire something about him without actually sharing how you feel.

You can say he looks great in blue, but that doesn’t mean you are attracted to him. It will flatter him but won’t give him a big ego. Even laughing at his jokes will work. [Read: 30 best compliments for guys he’ll never forget]

10. Use your space

Play with personal space. When you are teasing a guy, you don’t want to be a few feet away from him. You should offer a closeness that makes him wonder if you’re that near to him because you’re in a crowded bar or because you want to be.

You can lean in and whisper in his ear but then pull back. By playing with those boundaries, he is intrigued.

But with that, never let a guy do anything you are uncomfortable with, and if that happens, tell him. You have to set your own boundaries and know when someone crosses them. [Read: How to encourage a guy to make the first move – 15 subtle but very speedy moves]

11. Know your timing

Intimacy is the end goal of teasing a guy. You don’t want to tease him endlessly. That will get old and annoying. You don’t want to be a tease, and you just want to tease him gently.

So be sure that you aren’t taking the teasing too far. If he says he likes you, or is clear with his intentions, pull back on the teasing and games. There is a time and a place for teasing, and it isn’t when he has been vulnerable with you. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested in him without being overeager]

12. Poke fun

You do not want to offend anyone, but poking a little fun at him is a great way to keep him on his toes. You want to make fun of him in a lighthearted manner that isn’t hitting below the belt.

For instance, joke about how he still texts using “u r” instead of spelling out the words. If he isn’t willing to try a new cuisine, you can mock his juvenile palate. These things are simple and small enough to not really mess with him, but will let him know you’re clever and will call him out. [Read: How to show a guy you like him but still be a real tease]

13. Touch him

This is definitely better advice for those already dating someone. You don’t want to do this to a guy you just met. But, if you are in the beginning stages of dating, this will send him over the edge.

If you’re sitting at a bar or table in a restaurant, gently rub his inner thigh. Do not go up too high. But, just that light touch gets him thinking about what might happen later and he will be drooling over you. [Read: How to tell if a guy is turned on by you – 22 signs he’s aroused AF]

14. Give him space

If you’ve been putting in all this effort to flirt and tease him and nothing is happening, give him space.

We’re not saying you should ghost him, but give him time to miss you. Don’t send him that meme that you know he’ll love. Don’t ask how his trip is going.

You can still like his posts, but keep it minimal. Just hold back a bit, and he should realize what he’s missing. Of course, it also doesn’t hurt to post a thirst trap during this time to really reel him in. [Read: The sexy thirst trap – How to master it and make him drool without looking trashy]

15. Walk away

It’s important to know how to exit without ruining the teasing part. Leaving him should be the final tease. You want him to watch you walk away, hoping you’ll turn around one more time. 

Don’t wait for the conversation to die down before heading out. Leave him wanting more. [Read: How to make a man chase you – 20 very subtle ways to make him fall hard]

16. Remember your self-worth

If you want to be a good tease, remember your self-worth. If you want to find someone with any level of self-respect and respect for you, you need to show them you love yourself.

Teasing a man is pretty layered. It’s about showing your worth, and of course, making the journey more exciting for both of you. A good tease is someone who truly believes in themselves. [Read: Secrets for how to respect yourself more]

17. Know your goal

You need to have a goal at the end of the day before you go trying to learn how to tease a man. Of course, you can flirt without a motive, but if you like this guy, what’s the goal?

Do you want him to ask you out? Want to sleep with him? Have a relationship? Then, you’ll be able to gauge your approach and send the right signals.

18. Show you’re unattainable *but not too much*

If you want to be an all-star tease, you need to show him you’re unattainable. He thinks just any guy can have you? We don’t think so. This now switches the power dynamics and shows him that he needs to match your level and not the other ways around.

He’ll be the one drooling and fantasizing about you instead. Of course, don’t take this too far, otherwise you’re wandering into playing hard to get territory. [Read: How to make playing hard to get work for you]

19. Don’t always be so available

We know you like him, but you cannot look like you have no life. You have a life, and it doesn’t revolve around him. Being a tease doesn’t start at a sexual level. It starts with you not being so damn available.

No guy wants to be with a girl who’s always there. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the thrill? This is an old school tip, but it works. Stop being available.

20. If he asks you out, be cool

If you’re going to tease a guy, you need to do it till the end. You cannot act unavailable and unattainable, and then when he asks you out, you become overwhelmed with happiness and scream “Yes!” into the phone. No, girl. Play it cool. Be cool, calm, and collected.

It’ll show him he’s on a good path, but you’re still not convinced. [Read: How to get a man to chase you and fall really hard]

21. It’s all in the eyes

You read right, ladies. You all have beautiful eyes and aren’t using them enough. And, no, the eye roll doesn’t count. So, you’ve shown him you are unavailable, and now you’re finally ready to say ‘yes’ to a date. Good job.

When you’re on a date, or you bump into him, use your eyes. Hold your gaze, and well, frankly, seduce him with your eyes. But do it in a confident way, not in a “please will you be with me” manner. [Read: How to master eye f**king and get them to do it back]

22. Take his personality into account

Not all guys are the same. It’s easy to think there’s a one-size-fits-all method for men, but there isn’t. When you’re teasing him, you need to think about the type of guy he is. Not all guys are into banter, for example.

Before you put the moves on him, get to know him a little first. That way, you’ll see what approach to use.

23. Know where the line is

If you’ve got to know his personality, you’ll understand where the line is. Not all guys enjoy toilet jokes or insults. If you’re not sure where the line is, remember this: avoid jokes which humiliate and demean him.

Some men have sensitive egos, and once you bruise it, it’s hard to come back from that. [Read: The power of words can make or break your relationship]

24. Never make the first move

You’re teasing him, right? So, you cannot make any first moves. If he wants to kiss you, he’ll have to come to you. You’ve worked too hard to make him chase you already, and you’re in the final stage.

If you start making the moves, well, the ball is now in his court, and all that work you did has gone to waste. [Read: The art of making a guy long for you]

25. Kiss and push him away

You’re probably thinking, “but I want him to kiss me more,” yeah, we know. But that isn’t how it works. You need to learn how to push him away after a passionate kiss. Give him just a taste of what he can expect.

Now, you don’t need to push him back like you’re a football player, just lightly. He’ll be dying inside.

26. Now, distract him

You have him horny as hell, but you can’t let him win. Now is the part where you distract him. Suggest having another drink or switching places. At this point, he’ll just want to take you home, and as much as you want that, you’re not going to let him.

He still has some work to do. [Read: How to woo a guy to sleep with you without being slutty]

27. Don’t go home with him

Yes, you can make out with him, but you should not go home with him right away. We know you want to, but listen to us! Don’t do it! Kiss him, make out with him if you want, but when it’s time to part ways and go home, you go home… alone!

This will show him that he’s still got to put more work into it, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

28. You decide when it’s time

You need to be the one who decides when it’s time to take it to the next level. By teasing him, you put the power in your hands. The next date, you can kiss and make out with him, but you choose how far you want to take it. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy and make it work for you]

Feel the power as you guide the story

For far too long, women have felt like they have to go along with the whims of guys. But, it’s not the case. You can hold the power in your hands, you just need to get your teasing game right.

Guys love a challenge, and by giving him a glimpse of what he could have, but not allowing him to have it just yet, you’ll keep him engaged and desperate to find out more.

[Read: Law of attraction and how it can change your love life]

Learning how to tease a guy in order to get him to try harder is not as easy as it sounds. But, once you master it, guys will be falling over themselves for you.

The post 28 Flirty Ways to Tease a Guy & Make Him Realize He Really Likes You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.