Thursday, 9 September 2021

In Love With Another Man? 15 Questions to Help Make Up Your Mind

It’s official: you’re in love with another man. Before you do anything impulsively, it’s important to ask yourself the right questions to avoid regret.

in love with another man

When you’re in love with another man, it’s easy to make irrational decisions. You feel like this new guy gives you everything you could possibly want and need – and this is how you know you’re in trouble.

You’re content and comfortable with your long-term partner and then BAM! You meet someone so funny and witty that you are convinced he’s your soulmate.

You’re stuck in the hardest decision you have to make. You know that liking this new guy is like playing with fire, but you just can’t deny yourself this once-in-a-lifetime pleasure. This new guy is drop-dead gorgeous, but you also don’t want to make the mistake of leaving your boyfriend.

There are so many factors you should consider before even letting yourself fall for another man. For all you know, it could just be lust or infatuation. Making the wrong decision could backfire in your dating life and you’d end up with choices you need to live with. To put it simply, you’re in a messy situation.

If you choose your boyfriend, you’d never stop thinking about the what-ifs. If you leave your boyfriend for another man, you could be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re confused, we’ll list down the necessary questions to ask yourself when you’re in love with another man. Be as honest as you can, and make sure you’re in a peaceful and quiet place to get clear answers.

[Read: How to handle a crush when you’re already in a relationship with someone]

We’ve split these questions into three sections, and if you’re wondering what to do when you’re in love with another man, this is what you need to ask yourself.

Questions about yourself

These aren’t trick questions, neither do they require you to answer them in a snap. Spend a few minutes or more on each of them. Close your eyes, avoid any distractions and be completely honest with yourself. The most important thing here is to avoid lying to yourself!

1. Are you experiencing a crisis?

Before believing that you’re falling head over heels in love with the new guy, make sure you’re not just having a quarter-life or midlife crisis. Maybe you’re not really in love with another man, but you just crave a change to happen in your life.

Discontentment can lead you to explore other options, especially when you’ve been with the same person for years. If you find dissatisfaction in relationships, you start to think that you must make a drastic change, or else you’ll be doomed forever.

Just like you shouldn’t make big life decisions when you’re ecstatic and in the moment, you also shouldn’t make decisions when you’re having a crisis. Otherwise, you’ll likely end up regretting that decision. [Read: The big things that ruin a relationship and how to watch out for them]

2. Do you see a pattern?

How are you with your past relationships? Have you fallen in love with other men outside your relationship, or is this the first time? Do you have any regrets?

If you’re the type of person who easily gets bored of their current partner or is easy to get attached, then this could explain why you’re in love with another man.

It could also indicate that it’s not love you’re feeling, but infatuation or a repeated pattern. If this is the case, you must do everything to avoid giving in to your feelings. Don’t leave your boyfriend just because you feel the butterflies in your stomach.

When it comes down to the honest truth, relationships are about more than just the sparks. Maybe you’re just smitten, maybe you’re just bored, or maybe you need to fix yourself and discover the beauty of commitment. [Read: In a relationship but like someone else? The truth you need to know]

3. What are you really looking for in a relationship?

As they say, there are many fish in the sea. For some time, though, you were so happy with the fish you had, that you didn’t care about the million other fish. You need to figure out what your standards and needs really are.

Otherwise, you’ll keep changing partners the minute you get dissatisfied. By figuring out what those needs are, you can use this to your advantage in your current relationship. Just because you’re in love with another man, doesn’t mean you need to leave your partner.

Instead, communicate with your partner about those needs. Maybe you could get the happiness you wanted with your boyfriend instead of looking for it elsewhere.

At the very least, if you decide to stay in your current relationship, it can help you improve what you already have by expressing what you do and don’t want. [Read: What to look for in a relationship? 23 real traits of a happy romance]

4. Are your expectations realistic?

This is a very important question that you need to ask yourself when you think you’re in love with another man. It’s so easy to have high expectations and standards in a relationship that are often not realistic. You can’t expect someone to tick off every box in your checklist of a perfect boyfriend.

How do you see long-term relationships? Do you expect to be cuddled every night and given flowers on every occasion? This isn’t just the definition of unrealistic, but it’s impractical. You’ll always feel like there’s something more out there if you have unrealistic expectations. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

However, if you just want something as simple as to be able to laugh once in a while, and your current boyfriend has not offered you that from the beginning *or for a long time*, we don’t blame you for falling for the new guy.

You need to find the perfect balance of realistic and practical expectations. Rather than focusing on your wants like being spoiled with gifts, maybe you should focus on your needs like loyalty, honesty, and respect. [Read: What should you do when you like two people at the same time?]

5. Is it worth starting over?

When you’re asking yourself whether you should stay or not, ask yourself if what you feel is worth disregarding everything you’ve gone through with your boyfriend. Especially when you’ve been together for years, are you really willing to throw all that away for the possibility of infatuation?

Unless you’re convinced that they’re the wrong person for you or that they’re mistreating you in any way, you shouldn’t be quick to leave a relationship just because someone better came along into your life.

Were you already unhappy before this new guy came along, or was it just triggered by his presence? Asking yourself these questions helps you decide which next step to take.

6. Are you unhappy in your current relationship?

When you’re at crossroads, it is the perfect time to assess your relationship and yourself. Are you unhappy with your current partner? If yes, what about them makes you so unhappy, and is it something you can change?

You also need to consider that happiness is subjective. If you equate happiness to feeling butterflies in your stomach, then you’ll never stay in any relationship long enough.

When you think you’re in love with another man, you need to decide if your feelings are triggered by the state of your current relationship. [Read: 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship]

Questions about your current relationship

Now that you’ve asked a few questions that helped you understand yourself better, here are a few things to ask yourself about your love life when you fall in love with another man.

7. What do you like about your relationship?

In contrast to the questions above, you also need to ask yourself what aspects of your current relationship make you happy. Is it the way they laugh, the way they make you feel loved consistently, or maybe how caring they are?

List down the positive things, because these are the things you might lose if you choose to pursue the new man. Are you really willing to risk all the good parts just for the possibility of pleasure and feeling the sparks again?

Remind yourself of everything you’re guaranteed to lose if you choose the new guy. [Read: How to break up with someone you love – When it’s hard but right]

8. What do you want improved in your relationship?

In thinking you’re in love with another man, you need to also list everything that’s lacking.

Are they things that can be fixed through a good talk or is the damage too much? Did your partner cheat on you? Do you not trust him? Are they bad for your mental health? Do you lack chemistry and compatibility?

Ask yourself what you want in your current relationship and if they’re things your new man has. Does the good outweigh the bad with the new guy, or are you just blinded with desire and pleasure? After all, just like a new toy, everything feels good and shiny when it’s new.

9. Are there going to be other people affected?

If you have kids, you must not jump into a new relationship on a whim, because this will stress the hell out of them. As frustrating as this is to admit, if you’re going to hurt other people, an uncalculated gamble may not be worth it. There will come a time where you can be selfish with your own needs, but this just isn’t the right time for that.

If the new man you’re interested in proves to be as worthy as he claims, he’ll wait for the right time to be with you. The definition of love is patient and kind, so he must be willing to wait.

Even if you don’t have kids, how can you be sure it won’t affect your whole household? If it does, you may as well have left. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat? A guide to help make up your mind]

10. What made you fall in love with the new guy in the first place?

You need to realize love is a constant decision you make and isn’t just based on a feeling. Otherwise, you won’t last in any relationship. You’ll be tempted to leave every time you feel the lack of love in your body.

When we’re in long-term relationships, it is absolutely normal for the lovey-dovey feelings to wane as time passes. Butterflies don’t stay in your stomach forever—as much as you want them to. The honeymoon stage will pass and things will settle in a warm and secure feeling.

If you start to forget why you gave him your heart, maybe it’s time to make yourself remember. Go down memory lane and remember why you said yes with full conviction to being his girlfriend.

Does he still have those traits? What happened? Have you talked to him about the changes? [Read: Losing interest in your boyfriend? The signs you should never ignore]

11. Can you live without your current partner forever?

We often enter relationships because we see potential in them, including the potential of a future and a life with them. There used to be a time you couldn’t imagine a life without them, so what happened?

Do you really see yourself not regretting it when you choose the new guy instead? Did you ever consider that maybe lust or infatuation is messing with your logic?

Before you fly off with another man, ask yourself at least a hundred times if you can live without your current partner. If the answer is a resounding yes, then by all means, go. You can’t be impulsive and spontaneous with this decision because once you make it, there’s no going back.

He won’t likely take you back if you made the wrong decision, especially if you’re leaving him to be with someone else. If it’s well thought out and you’re 99% sure you don’t want to be with your current partner even if this new guy wasn’t in the picture, that’s all you need.

If the problems are really beyond repair, then walk away. However, you won’t fix any issues by jumping into the next guy you get attached to. [Read: Relationship addiction – Are you a serial dater who loves the idea of love?]

Questions about the new man

So you think you’re in love with another man. But have you really considered your future keeping this new guy in mind?

12. Is it really love, or a crush, admiration, or lust?

It can be confusing to tell the difference between admiration, lust, infatuation, and love. All of these have similar concepts so you need to be sure that it’s not just temporary. Maybe you just think it’s love, but it’s just a temporary feeling that would fade over time.

No one can tell for sure—especially if you’ve just met him. If you just crossed paths and automatically think you’re in love with another man, don’t you think there’s something wrong with that? It’s likely to be just infatuation. [Read: 23 intense signs of unspoken mutual attraction between two people]

13. In what areas do you think you’ll clash if you do have a relationship?

Imagine that you and the new guy are already together. Really visualize it. Don’t get too carried away by the fantasy just yet; think what your life is really going to be like on the ground.

Does he have goals? Are his finances stable? Is he kind? Does he have respect not just for you, but for other people? Will he compromise? Again, if you just met him, you’ll never be able to answer these questions accurately.

You’re probably thinking only time will tell, but you need to think it through. Do you honestly think your potential relationship with the new guy will be better than your current one?

In what areas do you think you’ll clash, and will life really be better with your new flame? [Read: Help! I like my boyfriend’s best friend!]

14. How far would you go to explore your love with the new man?

Do you plan to just flirt with him, but not really entertain the idea of sleeping with him, or do you plan to go all the way and throw caution to the wind? Maybe you don’t actually see a future with him, but you just want to have fun with him.

In other words, maybe you just want all the aspects of a relationship without the commitment. You need to determine how far you’re willing to go because if you don’t see yourself committing, why bother? [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you’re probably didn’t realize]

15. Is it going to be worth it?

Think hard before answering this question. Even if this is a subjective question, ask yourself if it’s worth the risk of losing your boyfriend for the new guy. If you claim that you’re in love with another man like you think, would it really be the logical choice?

People who often leave their partners for another one end up rarely satisfied with that decision. Of course, things could end up differently for you.

This is why it’s crucial to think about this for a significant period before deciding something you might regret. Thinking long-term could put things into perspective. [Read: 9 signs you subconsciously want to end your relationship]

So, what if you’re in love with another man?

Just because you have feelings for someone else, doesn’t mean you should act on them immediately. Feeling and acting are two different things.

This is why you need to ask yourself these questions – to be sure that you’re making the logical and rational choice. Ask yourself if you’re willing to throw everything away just for a feeling that could fade over time.

However, if it’s clear to you that you are in love with another man—even if it means risking everything you have now—then follow your heart and don’t ever look back. If you know in your gut that this is better than your current relationship in every aspect, take that leap of faith and jump.

The post In Love With Another Man? 15 Questions to Help Make Up Your Mind is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



30 Special Compliments for Guys to Make Them Blush & Make Their Day

It isn’t just women who deserve compliments, but this goes for guys too! It’s important to know which compliments for guys will actually make their day.

best compliments for guys

It’s easy to make a guy fall for you or make him feel more affectionate towards you. All you need to do is compliment him with the appropriate line at the appropriate time. Saying the right compliments for guys will make their day. They don’t have to be a words-of-affirmation person to appreciate a compliment!

No matter what type of guys they are, compliments will boost their ego and make them feel acknowledged. If you want to be noticed by your crush or maybe just make a guy’s day, compliments are the key!

When you compliment him, it’ll leave a lasting impression on him. And it’ll make him want more too!

[Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested in you all the time]

Why should you use compliments for guys to catch his attention?

When you say something positive in the form of compliments for guys, you have a better chance of catching his attention. Just like girls absolutely love it when a guy compliments them, the same goes for guys!

After all, why shouldn’t guys be spoiled with encouragement and compliments, especially when it’s genuine?

All you need is to find the right compliments for guys, and you can hopefully win your crush’s attention. It might not be a grand gesture, but compliments go a long way in making guys feel good about themselves.

It’s also a subtle way of saying that you noticed them today and how great they look – or something along those lines.

Compliments for guys and why they work

Compliments make anyone feel happy, but when you’re a guy, you don’t get complimented too often. By complimenting a guy, you acknowledge his existence and everything desirable about him. You’re highlighting his best assets and strengths you admire deeply about him.

Especially when it’s your crush or boyfriend, he’ll appreciate compliments coming from you! The thing is, even if guys have a lot of remarkable traits, they rarely get complimented.

Guy friends don’t usually compliment each other unless they’re playing an aggressive brute game, and women friends only compliment a guy in a flirty way when he’s treating them like he has a crush on them.

You can even compliment your guy friend the next time you see him and he’ll appreciate it deeply even if he doesn’t say it out loud.

And remember, compliments are also a subtle way of telling guys that you admire them for that particular trait without being too obvious and direct about it. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested in him without being overeager]

30 compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget

The best way to compliment a guy is by acknowledging his traits or manly behavior. While telling a guy that he looks good can make him feel awkward and yet good about himself, there are many more things that’ll make him feel even better. [Read: What to say to a guy to make him like you]

Take a look at these very special and sincere compliments for guys you can use for that guy you like.

1. Advice

This is one of the compliments for guys that are extremely underrated. The thing is, guys love feeling useful and helpful. By asking his advice, you’re acknowledging that he gives pretty great advice and that you’d love his input on something.

A line like “I can always count on you for the best advice” with a cute and flirty wink will make him feel six inches taller! [Read: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting]

2. Charm and speaking abilities

If your boyfriend has amazing conversational skills, feel free to compliment him on this aspect. Especially if you admire him in this aspect, why not let him know?

“All my friends love you, they think you’re such a great guy to hang out with” is a line that’ll make him beam with pride.

3. Driving skills

Every guy thinks he’s a better driver than those guys on the F1 circuit. This is one of the compliments for guys that’s such an ego boost.

He might even improve his driving skills because of this compliment! The next time he’s driving you around town, use a smooth swerve in the car to compliment him for his classy driving skills.

4. His physique

Guys spend a lot of time trying to look better for the ladies. Well, at least most guys do. You can never go wrong by complimenting their physical appearance.

Why not give a compliment his way? Don’t be vague. Get specific in your compliments, be it his guns or his well-rounded shoulders. [Read: How to make a guy horny and rock hard just by sitting next to him]

5. When other women check him out

Walking down a street with your man? Don’t hate him or dig your nails into his arm if other women check him out. Rather than fighting him, this is one of the compliments for guys you can use to your advantage. It just means that your guy is really attractive and other girls envy you for this!

6. His bar skills

This isn’t about law school, but about his refined taste in liquor. You might find this hard to believe, but not every guy knows his way around a bar. If he knows his way around mixology in drinks and even recommends great drinks, compliment him! [Read: 24 girl drinks staples every girl’s gotta know]

7. His dreams and ambitions

Guys make big plans from a very young age. Talk about his dreams with him, and if you find his castles in the sky really fascinating, compliment him about his vision. His dreams and ambitions matter to him so it’s only natural he’ll feel flattered when you compliment him in this aspect.

He’ll feel closer for having shared his dream with you, and like you a lot more because you appreciate his dreams. [Read: How to get a guy to open up and share a lot more with you]

8. Sense of humor

A sense of humor is the one aspect that girls tend to dig. After all, it’s very attractive to find a guy who can make you laugh. If you’re dating a guy who makes your pee your shorts, make sure you place your hand on his cheek or arm, tilt your head to your side, and compliment him about his sense of humor.

9. His ability in bed

Is your man great in bed? If he is, don’t stop telling him about it. If anything, this is one of the best compliments for guys that won’t just boost his ego, but will make him feel good about himself. He always manages to surprise you in bed, so then tell him!

10. His chivalry

You might find this a little difficult to believe, but not all men are chivalrous. Did he hold the door open for you? Or did he just step aside so you could enter the elevator first? Feel free to pay a compliment his way!

This is one of the rare compliments for guys that women tend to forget, but is also an important one! [Read: 25 ways to look cute and melt a guy’s heart]

11. Protective instincts

Evolution has trained the masculine to protect the feminine. If you always feel particularly safe around him because of the way he holds your hand or how he always switches sides when crossing streets with you, tell him! It’ll make him feel so good about himself and his protective skills.

12. His bond with his friends

There’s nothing quite like friendship. Even if you don’t particularly understand the friendships with his friends, pay a compliment his way. This also means trying to get along with his friends. He’ll love it, especially because he thinks his friends are a reflection of himself.

13. His work

Is this guy a workaholic? Or is he a slacker who always finds ways to complete his work on time? This is one of the compliments for guys that’ll make him work even harder once you notice all his hard work and drive!

14. His strength

Ask him to open a tight jar. Or, ask him to help you carry a big bag up a flight of stairs. His strength is something that reflects his masculine, so this is one of the best compliments for guys he’ll definitely notice! After all, what guy won’t like a compliment regarding his strength? [Read: 25 unmanly and manliest things a guy can ever do]

15. The way it feels when he’s inside you

Guys like to know they’re making a big impact when they enter a girl. If he’s making just the right kind of impact when he’s going in, make sure you let him know everything you feel when he’s inside you. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy]

16. His brains

Are you dating a smart guy or a guy who seems to have the perfect answer for anything? Intelligence is incredibly sexy on a man so don’t forget to compliment him!

This is one of the compliments for guys that are often neglected, but he’ll feel good after hearing it from you. A smart guy would love to know that you appreciate him for his brains too. [Read: Should a girl dumb it down to impress a guy?]

17. A good long stare

Staring at guys is completely underrated, but works wonders in making him blush and feel admired! Don’t hesitate to give him a good long stare – he’ll absolutely love this! While this isn’t a compliment in the form of words, it’s just as effective.

18. His clothes

You may be helping him pick out his wardrobe, but when he comes out to meet you looking like a gorgeous mannequin on the move, go right ahead and compliment him about it.

There’s just something attractive about a guy who knows how to dress up and look presentable. This is one of the compliments for guys he’ll never forget!

19. His principles

A man is nothing without his principles and morals. If you’re dating a guy who holds his moral principles firm and close, say something nice about it. Tell him how much you admire his integrity and principles for staying grounded on them, especially as it’s not easy to stick to your principles. [Read: 20 personality traits that make the perfect ideal guy]

20. His tastes and choices

Is your guy a refined gentleman with impeccable taste or preferences? If he has exemplary taste in movies, perfume, music, books, or even food choices, send a compliment his way! This is one of the compliments for guys that’ll make him feel special.

21. Compare him to a famous celebrity

Now don’t go comparing your guy’s appearance to the best-looking celebrity of the year in the world because he’ll assume you’re just trying to flatter him *unless he does look that hot*.

By complimenting him through comparison of a public figure, you’ll boost his ego and make him feel good about himself! Don’t just limit this to his physical features, but this goes also for his personality and character as well.

22. Ask for his help

If there’s anything in this list of compliments for guys that’ll make him feel good, it’s asking for his help. Guys like feeling needed and significant. Ask him to help you with something that you know he’s good at.

If he enjoys it, he would be able to please you and have fun at the same time. It’s a win-win situation for both of you! [Read: The damsel in distress and why men find them so irresistible]

23. Boast about him

Speak highly of him in front of his friends or your family. Tell them all about the traits and characteristics you value deeply about him. He may behave like he’s embarrassed about the flattery, but secretly, he’d love the fact that you’re speaking so highly of him.

24. Compliment his voice

Does your man have a deep baritone that gives you happy gooseflesh when he whispers in your ears? Compliment his voice and he’ll remember your words every time he says a word.

This is one of the best compliments for guys that often go unnoticed, but it’s guaranteed to make him feel special. [Read: 33 sexy steps to seduce a man who’s not yours and hook him hard]

25. His leisure skills

A guy participates in many leisure activities to feel relaxed and rejuvenate. It doesn’t need to refer to just outdoor leisure skills, but also for indoor activities like his video games. It may be a leisure activity, but it’s something all guys take pride in.

He’ll love the fact that you appreciate his leisure hobbies instead of telling him to avoid them and spend time with you. [Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually about a girl]

26. His cooking skills

This is another one of the compliments for guys that go unnoticed, but his cooking skills are worth acknowledging.

Not every guy can cook so if he always spoils you with the best meals and knows his way around a kitchen, that’s very attractive! He doesn’t have to be a master chef, but he does have to have impressive cooking skills!

27. His hopeless romantic nature

This is very rare for guys so if your boyfriend is a natural hopeless romantic, be sure to compliment him!

Most guys find it cheesy to indulge in grand gestures, so if he does something incredibly romantic for you, tell him how much you appreciate his romantic side. [Read: Hopeless romantic – 10 big struggles of being in love with love]

28. His generous and selfless nature

Guys are often so focused on their own lives they forget to compromise and think of others. When your guy always thinks of others and how his actions can affect the people around him, tell him how much you admire his selflessness!

Tell him how he’s such a light to others with the way he puts others above his own needs. This is a compliment he’ll definitely appreciate!

29. His decision-making abilities

Men are all about logic and rationality – it’s why men often decide based on logic and facts in a relationship. If he always manages to make logical decisions instead of irrational ones, compliment him! This is one of the underrated compliments for guys that’ll acknowledge his decision-making abilities.

30. His partnership abilities

A relationship should be all about partnership, if anything. Not all men can handle being your equal so if you notice that he’s happy to be your equal in the relationship instead of trying to overpower the common decisions and life goals, compliment him! It’s definitely one of the unique compliments for guys he’ll get.

[Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]

So, what are the right compliments for guys?

You can use these compliments with either your crush, your boyfriend, or a stranger you find cute! Whatever compliments you use, they have to be genuine and from the heart. Don’t just say a compliment for the sake it saying it, but it has to be sincere. That’s the only way it’ll seem believable, and he’ll like you more for it!

If you’re still wondering what to compliment him, just use any of these compliments for guys. He’ll appreciate how you acknowledge his best traits, especially the ones that go unnoticed. You never know, compliments might be the key to get this guy to fall harder for you!

The post 30 Special Compliments for Guys to Make Them Blush & Make Their Day is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Loving Someone You Can’t Have: 15 Ways to Accept Unreciprocated Love

It’s a different kind of pain to be loving someone you can’t have. Unreciprocated feelings aren’t easy to deal with, so how exactly can you accept them?

loving someone you can't have

It doesn’t matter who the person is – loving someone you can’t have will always be hard.

Unreciprocated feelings are something everyone has experienced at least once in their lives. When you love or even like someone, it seems unbearable to face the painful truth that they just don’t feel the same way.

No matter how hard you try, there’s just no changing their minds.

Loving someone you can’t have doesn’t always mean they don’t feel the same. Sometimes, the other person may like you but they’re just not ready or they’re stuck in situations where you’ll never have them.

Whenever they’re around, you get consumed by your efforts to conceal your emotions, hoping that the way you stare at them won’t give away your real feelings.

There are times when you ask yourself why you’re subjecting yourself to this kind of torture. Even if it’s painful loving someone you can’t have, you push through the pain anyway.

[Read: What is unrequited love and what’s the best way to deal with it]

How to handle the pain of loving someone you can’t have

No matter who they are in your life, it’s one of the hardest things to love someone you can’t have. Your relationship would be entirely one-sided and there’s nothing you can do about that. There’s really no reason to keep prolonging the pain of unreciprocated feelings.

Even if you think that the pain of losing them entirely would be greater than not having them, you’re putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary agonies. If that’s your decision, then there’s nothing much you can do, except handle the pain that goes with it.

We know what you’re thinking, it’s something that a lot of people have experienced. You’re thinking that it’s just the wrong time and that maybe they’ll change their mind or the right time would eventually come for the two of you to be together.

It all sounds romantic in your head. And while this can certainly happen, it’s a rare circumstance that you shouldn’t put all your hopes on. So instead of pining over someone you know you can’t have, use this guide on coping with the pain of loving someone you can’t have. [Read: How to lose feelings for someone and let go of the might-have-beens]

1. Enjoy your time together – don’t expect anything more

You know exactly what you got yourself into the minute you stayed in their life. Loving someone you can’t have will never be easy, but it doesn’t mean you should put yourself through more pain. This means you should condition your mind – and especially your heart – to not expect anything more than what they’re providing you with.

Don’t demand anything more than what’s given to you, because it’s likely that they’ll say no. Simply focus on enjoying every minute with them without the expectation of anything more than your current relationship.

Stop focusing on how they’re spending time with their partner afterward. Just appreciate what they can offer you and don’t expect more. [Read: Do you have a big crush or are you experiencing limerence?]

2. Don’t ask questions that could hurt you

We just love asking questions that could potentially hurt us. You need to stop obsessing over your need to know everything.

In the first place, asking whether they love you or whether you have a chance with them are already questions you know the answer to.

We know that the heart can blind logic out of the equation, but you already know the answers to the questions you want to ask them. Don’t keep asking questions in the hope that they’ll change their answer someday.  Your goal is acceptance and clarity so these questions aren’t going to be of help. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]

3. Divert your attention to hobbies

There’s no better way to distract the pain of loving someone you can’t have by focusing on your hobbies. This is your chance to focus on the things you love doing, whether it’s music, painting, or even working out. The important thing is you don’t sit around with your feelings all day and dwell on your heartbreak.

Just get out of bed, go to a craft shop—or wherever else you can—and get your hands movin’. Your hobbies are also a great way to express your feelings through your personal form of art.

It doesn’t have to be anything big – your hobbies can be anything as long as they distract you long enough from your heartbreak. Rather than crying all over your feelings, why not trying being productive instead? [Read: How to be emotionless – 16 steps to lose feelings and gain comtrol again]

4. Be a real friend, but protect your feelings

Yes, be their friend, but you’re allowed to say no if it’s taking your unrequited feelings for granted. For instance, you can’t be their shoulder to cry on when they had a fight with their partner or they broke up.

You’re not that person for them, so don’t give them that satisfaction. Loving someone you can’t have is already painful enough, so stop giving them your everything. Given that love can sometimes cloud your better judgment, don’t act as if it’s okay for them to come to you when it’s convenient for them.

If it’s breaking your heart further, then it’s not worth it. At some point, you need to realize that putting yourself first is far more important than being their friend.

It’s okay to listen to them talk about their frustrations with the person they love, but it’s another thing if that’s all you talk about and you’re even helping them plot the perfect surprise party for their beloved.

You’re not being selfless and a martyr – you’re putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary pain. [Read: The martyr complex – How to recognize the signs of the martyr syndrome in you]

5. Be surrounded by friends

If you realize how easy it is to isolate yourself when you’re going through something, you’d really appreciate the times when you surround yourself with friends. No matter how easy this is to do, avoid giving in to the desire to lock yourself in your room and dwell on your feelings.

While this is normal and something you may want to do, it’s not exactly healthy. This might be okay during the first few days of finding out you’re loving someone you can’t have, but any longer than that isn’t healthy. You need your best friends to lift you and remind you that there really are others better suited for you.

There’s nothing like pondering and laughing about your situation over a couple of beers. You need to be around the right company just so your heartbreak doesn’t feel as bad as it actually is. [Read: How to get over someone you love fast and not give a damn anymore]

6. Stay away from hurtful situations

If you know that they’re going to be with their partner at a party, don’t show up. Why would you? Stop destroying your heart just because your love for them is more than the pain you feel. Love shouldn’t work that way, especially unreciprocated love.

You know the truth of the situation, which means there’s no reason to torture yourself. Love shouldn’t be self-sabotaging in a way you find ways to hurt yourself even more.

Why must you do this to yourself? You deserve so much better than tolerating a love you can never have. Sleeping all day or binge-watching your favorite TV show is so much better than seeing the person you love with somebody else.

7. Learn to compartmentalize

To cope with emotional turmoil, you have to learn how to compartmentalize. When you’re with the person you adore, be with them 100%. This is one of the hardest things to master in life, but it’s important in difficult situations.

If you aren’t familiar with compartmentalizing, it’s a defense mechanism of either suppressing your thoughts and emotions. While repressed emotions aren’t healthy, compartmentalizing can actually help you deal with the pain of loving someone you can’t have.

Even if you feel immense love for them, even when the pain of never being with them can be overwhelming, do your best to suppress those emotions especially when you’re together.

Make sure that when you’re working or doing something else, your mind is not wrapped around them. It takes a lot of practice, but it can be done. [Read: 10 signs you’re lovesick and 10 quick ways to get out of it]

8. Devote 30 minutes every day to sulk

Okay, we’re not saying you can’t cry about how they don’t love you while eating a tub of ice cream and watching The Notebook. It’s perfectly healthy to release your emotions every now and then, but limit it to just a few minutes a day. Set a specific time in your day to just be sentimental about your one-sided love affair.

Even if it hurts, you can’t let your thoughts of them consume you every day. You need to realize you can be happy even outside your heartbreak, and that’s exactly what you have to do. You can cry, scream, yell, do whatever you want for those 30 minutes.

However, when the time is over, go back to being calm and composed. It sounds like a crazy idea, but it’s effective! It might sound crazy to schedule your breakdown moments, but if it works, why not?

9. Stop pretending you’re okay

If you’re really in pain, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. Not anymore. You’ve been dealing with this for months *or years* and it is exhausting to put on a fake smile all the time. Honestly, you don’t even have to be their friend if it’s no longer adding any benefit in your life.

If you think it’s best to cut them off just to help you move on, then you’re free to do so. It doesn’t make you a bad person to stop being their friend because it hurts too much. This means no crying on your shoulder every time they fight or helping them find the perfect anniversary gift.

Especially when they’re just using you, why bother anyway? Don’t laugh or smile if you really don’t feel like doing those things, either. You are entitled to express your real feelings, just like they’re entitled to theirs. [Read: How your self respect affects you and the relationship with your crush]

10. Limit contact as much as possible

It’s going to hurt a little before it can start to get better again. You won’t get anywhere in moving on if you stay within close proximity with them. It’s the same reason they always know you’re available to hang out or do whatever with them whenever their partner isn’t available.

It takes a lot of strength and courage to walk away from something that hurts you, which is exactly why you must do it. Think about your heart and your mental health. Your love for them might feel immense, but it shouldn’t encompass the love you have for yourself.

We’re not saying you should do something as drastic as blocking them everywhere *although that’s also a great idea*, but simply limiting your communication with them would be good. Stop texting them all the time, tagging them in posts, or messaging them on their socials.

You must learn to turn away from something that only gives you temporary happiness and be okay with missing out, because here’s something you should know: if it causes you distress, you’re not missing anything! [Read: How to unlove someone – 14 powerful ways to conquer the impossible]

11. Date other people

When you’re busy loving someone you can’t have, this is probably the last thing you’re thinking about. After all, why would you want to date other people when you’re focused on loving that one person?

However, don’t be scared that you’ll lose the tiniest chance of having the person you can’t have.

You’re the only one being sentimental about it. You’ll never find the right person meant for you if you keep pushing yourself towards the wrong person.

We know you think you’re waiting for the right timing or opportunity, but what if it never comes? Are you really going to miss out on something great just because of the wrong person?

In fact, if they do like you, dating others can give them that envy and jealousy they need to actually make a move towards you. It gives them the sense of urgency that they’re going to lose you if they don’t do something about it. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

12. Hide them from your feeds

Social media is really an amusing thing, especially when loving someone you can’t have. It doesn’t help you in any significant way if you keep checking their Instagram stories or staying updated with whatever is going on in their life. Muting them from your feed can help you have more peace and clarity in your life.

It permits you to focus on moving forward rather than obsessing over their actions and life. Once and for all, hide them from your timeline. They’re like an addiction. You have to cut them out of your life, by all means.

You’re not being harsh, but you’re being practical and kind to yourself. It’s not that easy to move on – if it was, nobody would be scared of heartbreak. [Read: How to distance yourself from a friend without a lot of drama]

13. Write about your feelings

There’s no better way to express your feelings than to write about them. Writing about our feelings can give us a clearer view of what we’re going through. This is a well-known therapy technique that won’t cost you a dime. The best thing about writing is nobody will judge or criticize you for writing them.

Even when you pour all your love and pain on paper for the person you can’t have, nobody will call you out. Writing is the best way you can let out all your emotions without the fear of being judged for feeling that way. When it comes down to it, you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel, but it’s important to have a source of release.

In this case, it’s writing. What makes this better is that you can actually re-read what you’ve written, so you can assess yourself better. This serves as a great proof of just how crazy you are being!

14. Write a letter to yourself

After writing about everything you feel, you can also choose to write a letter to yourself. No, you’re not being crazy doing this. Letters to yourself are great ways to validate your feelings and also find closure. It can help you forgive yourself for not knowing better and for chasing someone you can never have.

Nobody ever said loving someone you can’t have will be easy. What you need to remember is that it isn’t your fault for loving them so hard that you thought you’d change their mind or wait for the right time.

What would you advise yourself? How would you empathize with yourself? What would you want to tell yourself? Writing a letter to yourself can help you reconnect with yourself, so you can face reality, and make new plans for your life. [Read: How to stop a selfish friend from hurting you and using you]

15. Finally, tell them what you feel without expecting anything

In order to move past your unreciprocated feelings, the last step is to tell them everything you feel without expecting anything in return. It’s hard to confess without expectations, but face the facts. Sometimes, they’re not ever going to feel the same way or they’re never going to be ready.

There is no right time – it’s either they want to be with you or they don’t. It will relieve you of all the self-inflicted tension you’ve built up over time. Simply let them know that you like them, but know you can’t have them. Confessing will relieve you of all the self-inflicted tension you’ve built up over time.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process and you’re not in love with someone prohibited like a family member, tell them what you feel and let go.

[Read: 13 naughty steps to get out of the friend zone in no time]

So, how do you deal with loving someone you can’t have?

When you love someone you can’t have, it’s the kind of heartbreak that’s not easy to deal with. Whether they’re your best friend or just a stranger, unreciprocated love is hard no matter what. However, you can’t torture yourself even further by expecting it to be something more than it is.

The first rule is to never make it to be something it’s clearly not. Don’t think you’re going to change their mind by being a martyr in their life – it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, you just have to accept the painful reality of the situation and move on with your life.

[Read: When will I find love? 20 secrets that will bring your ONE closer to you]

It’s painful to love someone you can’t have, but don’t let it take over your life. It’s not the end of the world just because they’re in love with someone else or they’re not ready. Stop forcing yourself to them and accept that things just aren’t meant to be. The earlier you accept this, the faster you’ll find someone who naturally loves you for you.

The post Loving Someone You Can’t Have: 15 Ways to Accept Unreciprocated Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Wednesday, 8 September 2021

15 Flirting Signs to Instantly Know if Someone is Flirting With You

It’s not easy to pick apart the flirting signs between a guy and a girl. But if you keep an eye on these signs of flirting, you’ll never go wrong!

flirting signs

Flirting comes naturally to all of us. When you like someone, the first thing that comes to mind is to flirt with them. It’s important to know the flirting signs, especially when you really like someone.

You might even be unintentionally doing it without being aware of your own actions. You may think you know nothing about flirting, but when you meet someone you like, you’d instinctively start to behave differently and flirt with them even if you don’t realize it.

Flirting isn’t just as simple as subtly touching them or as bold as saying something seductive. You can flirt by making someone laugh or even just by staring at someone for a prolonged period. It might not be as direct, but it’s still counted as flirting. 

Perhaps, you felt more aware of your own body, or you found yourself smiling so much your jaws hurt. These are all obvious flirting signs that we give away, even if we’re trying to be discreet. Unlike what we see in movies, flirting isn’t always obvious to the naked eye.

[Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation to see flirting in action]

Why do people need to flirt?

You flirt when you like someone or when you want someone in particular to notice you. It’s how you get their attention in a very subtle manner *especially when you have a huge crush on your friend*.

When you flirt, it’s the first step to taking action for your feelings rather than doing the hard part – confessing.

Flirting feels natural and easy, which is why most of us don’t even know that we’re already doing it.

For instance, you’re flirting with someone to let them know in a subtle manner that you’re interested in being more than friends with the hopes that they feel the same way. After all, actions speak louder than words, right?

Even when you do something to make your crush laugh or make plans with them to hang out, this already counts as flirting.

You don’t have to be alarmed that you’re being too obvious – everyone flirts with the people they’re attracted to. In fact, without flirting, people wouldn’t know who likes them and who doesn’t. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]

Obvious flirting signs that count more than the others

If you’re crushing hard on someone, it’s important to remember the flirting signs to know if they like you back. When someone’s flirting with you, it’s obvious they either like you or want to potentially get together with you. Without flirting, there’s no build-up of chemistry with them.

As discreet as they attempt to be, if they like talking to you, there’s a good chance they will flirt. If you want to let your crush know you exist and are interested in them, flirting is definitely a great place to start.

Whether it’s someone you’ve been eyeing at the bar or even your best friend, using your flirting skills to the test is the best way to grab their attention. In this feature, we’ll be listing down the most obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl you should know about.

[Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

1. A lot of touching

Touching each other a lot mid-conversation is one of the sure flirting signs, especially if the touches are unnecessary. This is why when someone is touching you more than usual, they’re either comfortable with you or flirting with you.

Most of the time, it’s the latter that’s applicable.

Someone won’t just cross the touch barrier unless they’re having a very hard time holding themselves back from physical contact. If your cute friend is finding excuses to touch you now and then, it’s a sure flirting sign.

You should also pay attention if they’re the type to often touch the people they talk to. If not, then you can be really sure that it’s a flirting sign and that they find you irresistible! [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

2. Entering into the personal zone

If someone is trying to get close to you every way they can, it might be a flirting sign. If your friend tries to come really close to you to whisper something that doesn’t need to be hushed or if their hands reach out towards you often, it’s obvious they want to get close to you, fast!

Being close to someone, even when it’s unnecessary, means they’re trying to get closer to you physically. [Read: 20 signs she’s flirting with you even if she’s trying to be very subtle]

3. Putting their best foot forward

In the animal kingdom, mating season always calls for exaggerated displays of feathers and strength. In the human world, mating and dating potentials try to show off their best sides too. [Read: What is peacocking and why men instinctively do it]

Girls raise their chests or try to get a guy to notice their attractive features, while guys try to charm a girl by smooth talking her or showing off his manliness. [Read: 25 things all guys find incredibly sexy and attractive about a girl when they see her]

4. Their eyes sparkle

One of the biggest flirting signs you can notice in a flirty conversation is the widening of the eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul for a reason, so if you notice their wide eyes sparkling attentively whenever they talk to you or even about you, they’re flirting with you.

Research has shown that attraction causes your pupils to dilate. You might find their eyes filled with life and emotion whenever you’re talking to them. [Read: Eye f*cking and the subtle art of making them desire you]

5. Constant smiling and giggling

If your date can’t help but continuously flash a big grin while talking to you, there’s definitely a flirty feeling in the air. When you’re attracted to someone, you’d do anything in your capabilities to make them smile. And you’d have a hard time holding that grin back as well.

You may not be very funny, but if the person you’re talking to beams, blushes, and laughs while talking to you, they’re probably flirting with you!

6. Avoiding all external distractions quickly

If this guy or girl you’re talking to receives a call when you’re casually talking to them, do they excuse themselves for a while, or do they try to end the phone call immediately? One of the flirting signs you’ll see is when their complete and utter attention is on you. This means they don’t even bother checking their phone, and all they want to focus on is you.

Even when they receive a notification or a phone call, they dismiss it entirely. If this isn’t an indicator of flirting, why else are they giving you their undivided attention? Anyone who’s trying to get your attention and flirt with you would always try to end any distraction as quickly as they possibly can. [Read: How to be more playful and flirty and open up when you meet someone]

7. Checking you out

Does this person look you up and down or do their eyes wander over your body, especially when they think you’re not looking? When someone’s checking you out and staring at you for a prolonged period, this is a huge flirting sign!

Maybe they’re checking out your body or that outfit you’re wearing today. Anyone who flirts with you would definitely want to take a good look at someone they’re sexually attracted to. So if you want the flirting to continue, make sure you give enough time for your cute friend to take a good, long look at you! [Read: What turns a girl on sexually about a guy?]

8. Constantly blushing

Just like smiling and laughing, blushing is something that comes involuntarily in a flirty conversation. Before you say anything else, nobody looks that red when you compliment them or say something nice. It’s not because of the sun – they’re blushing because of you!

This means you’ve definitely made quite the impression on them. When you notice them blushing, don’t hesitate to send a compliment their way. They’d definitely appreciate that.

9. Showing off the single tag

If someone’s trying to flirt with you in the hope of dating you, they’d try their best to let you know that they’re not dating anyone.

This is one of the very obvious flirting signs, really, why would they go out of their way to say they’re single? They’re making a point – especially to you – that they’re single and ready to date. [Read: Single and ready to mingle – How to let the world know you’re ready]

10. Veers the conversation to date plans

If your friend wants to know if both of you have any hobbies or weekend habits in common, it’s a definite flirting sign. Maybe they keep talking about that fancy new bar that seems like a good hang-out place or a good vacation spot. While they could be casually talking about plans they’re excited about, observe if the plans are specific to you.

They could try to know your favorite movies or favorite destination. Whatever it is, they’re doing their best to make date plans with you subtly. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]

11. Compliments and exaggerated expressions

Everyone loves compliments, right? It always feels good to hear several compliments your way, especially the genuine ones. When someone goes out of their way to give you compliments regularly, this could be one of the flirting signs you should watch out for.

They’re not just being friendly, but they’re trying to actively flirt with you and let you know you catch their fancy! Maybe they tell you that you have a gorgeous smile or that you smell great. These compliments aren’t often empty-handed. [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s being way more than just nice]

12. They get annoyed if someone interrupts

Nobody in their right mind would get offended if someone interrupts their conversation with you, unless they like you or have feelings for you.

Does this friend you’re talking to get offended or do they behave rudely with another person if they cut in to join the conversation? Whenever someone interrupts mid-conversation, it seems they’re always annoyed or frustrated.

13. Guys acts dominant; Girls acts coy

Both, men and women, have different flirting signs you should be aware of. The guy would try to behave more manly or protective, while the girl would start to behave in a very demure and coy manner. When you notice either of these mannerisms of someone you know, they could be flirting with you.

If you feel like this friend talks to everyone else in a particular way and becomes very affectionate, or protective, around you, that’s a good flirting sign to watch out for. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people when they like each other]

14. Focusing their attention on you

Similar to one of the points mentioned above, someone flirting with you won’t be distracted easily. This also means that their undivided attention is on you. They actively listen to your stories *even the most boring ones* and they accidentally bump into your shoulder or touch your face.

When they look at you, it’s like you’re the only person in the room and nobody else exists. If this friend is completely attentive to you and your needs and nothing else, even if there are several others around, there’s definitely something brewing in the air. [Read: Signs both of you are more than friends]

15. Excited to be with you

When they’re with you, there’s a certain anticipation and excitement that’s clearly in the air. You can’t pinpoint why, but they’re very excited to be around you, even when both of you are doing nothing out of the ordinary. One of the biggest flirting signs is the excitement in the air.

When others see you, they just assume you’re a couple already because of how joyful and happy you are together. If this friend always tries to prolong the conversation or doesn’t want the conversation to end with you, it’s a definite flirting sign.

[Read: How to accidentally kiss a friend you like]

So, what do you do with these flirting signs?

When you confirm that someone is really flirting with you, it’s up to you to decide whether to flirt back and take a chance on that person.

It doesn’t have to imply anything serious, but can be the start of a beautiful connection with them. You can use these flirting signs to your advantage and also confirm if your crush does like you back.

[Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself or them]

These signs of flirting come involuntarily between two people who are attracted to each other. Flirting can be so subtle that you miss out on the obvious signs entirely, which is why you need to remember these flirting signs every time you’re in a conversation with someone you like.

The post 15 Flirting Signs to Instantly Know if Someone is Flirting With You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Tuesday, 7 September 2021

Best Husband Ever: 10 Things The Best Guys Always Do in a Marriage

We all want to achieve the closest thing we can get to a perfect marriage in a temporary world. However, it’s not always easy to be the best husband ever.

best husband ever

It’s not the easiest thing to be the best husband ever. When you find someone worth marrying, you assume that it’s going to be the experience of your life.

That’s what romcoms say, right?

Find someone who’s cute and you like to be around, date for a while, propose, and then ride off into the sunset. Easy as pie! False.

It takes a lot of trial and error, even after years of being together. Even when you’ve been together for years or just recently, it’s not a walk in the park to provide for all of your partner’s needs and wants.

You see, it’s not that marriage is complicated, it’s that people don’t know how to do it right. School doesn’t teach you how to be the best husband ever. Unless your parents were the perfect model for marriage, most of us just didn’t have anyone to teach us.

The reality is that not everyone is lucky enough to have parents to look up to to know what marriage is all about. For the unlucky ones, they have to live through their parents getting a divorce or separation. They have to find and redefine how to have a happy marriage on their own terms.

[Read: The secrets of a happy marriage that can make or break your romance]

How to be the best husband – Little changes that lead to happiness

Don’t worry, you really can be a great spouse to your wife. There isn’t a magic ingredient or pill to make you the best husband ever. A happy marriage takes a lot of hard work and effort and it’s not something you just happen to have.

Anyone who’s been married for over a decade will tell you that it takes consistency, communication, understanding, and a whole lot of empathy to make a marriage not just work, but last. In other words, you can’t escape putting in the effort to be an amazing partner.

[Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless unhappy marriage]

The good news is that it’s not really that difficult to make your wife happy. If anything, it’s really easy to make your wife happy if you know what really softens her heart. In this feature, we’ll be listing down the ways you can be the best husband ever, with the smallest but most important gestures.

1. Talk to her

You literally don’t need a grand gesture to make your wife feel like she’s on top of the world. Just talk to her – it’s as simple as that. If you want to be the best husband ever, talk to her about everything under the sun.

Believe it or not, a lot of husbands think it’s a chore to talk to their wives. They think that women talk too much and give too many irrelevant details about their lives that they just don’t care about. You promised her for better or for worse.

Even when it’s not convenient for you, talking to her makes her feel heard and loved. Especially if it’s one of her love languages, talking might be the easiest way to make her feel loved.

Talk to her. I mean really talk to her. Ask her questions, talk to her about your day, actually be interested in a conversation with her. [Read: 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy in love]

2. Share the chores

Nobody likes doing all the work in a relationship. If you want to be the best husband ever, let her feel like your marriage is indeed a partnership. This means helping her around the house, especially on days she’s more tired with work than usual.

You didn’t marry her to make her do all the work, you married her as your soulmate and life partner. You’re both tired from work, but teaming up with the chores would make things easier for you. Gone are the days when the wife was the one who did all the cooking, cleaning, other household chores.

You can’t really expect her to do everything without being frustrated at your lack of initiative, can you? Don’t wait for her to tell you to do it, otherwise, she’ll think of you as another child.

You need to make things easier on her behalf and fulfill your duties as her husband. This means helping her in every way you can, even if it’s something as exhausting as chores. [Read: How to make your wife feel special – 50 easy ways to make her really happy]

3. Share the kid responsibilities

I know you don’t like to change diapers. Who does? I know your wife doesn’t.

I know you know it’s not easy raising a kid. Beyond the diapers, kids can be just downright exhausting. Sure, we love them. They’re our kids, but we need a break.

Sharing kid responsibilities will make your wife’s life much easier and that’s how you can ensure that you’re being the best husband ever. Feed them. Bathe them. Discipline them. Love them. Give your wife a break. Let her go take a bath or get a massage. [Read: How to be a better husband – 15 ways to a happy wife, happy life]

4. Help her keep track of plans

According to research, the most stressful thing for a woman is to be the only one who keeps track of plans for the family. Okay, fine, women are generally more detailed-oriented and organized than men. However, this doesn’t mean you should leave all the planning up to her.

Learn to pitch in help every now and then just to reassure her she’s not alone in this. It’s so exhausting to be the only one who keeps track of everything. So, in order to be the best husband ever in her eyes, you have to be her partner.

5. Pay attention to her needs

The world doesn’t revolve around you. While you rationally know that, a lot of men don’t get it. Stop being so self-absorbed that you think everything is about fulfilling your own needs and wants.

What about her needs? What about what she wants? Did you ever think of asking her what she needs from you? selfish. A marriage is about two people trying to meet each other’s needs, not the wife trying to please her husband 100% of the time.

If you keep being self-absorbed, she’s going to end up resenting you. She might be very understanding and patient with you right now, but that patience has a limit.

Little do you know that every time you don’t pay attention to her needs, it builds up until one way, she won’t choose to tolerate it anymore. She’ll just walk away from your marriage and you’ll never see it coming.

If you don’t know what she needs, you can always ask her. That way, you can be sure what and how to fulfill them. [Read: Selfishness in relationships – 15 ways to do the right thing]

6. Don’t forget to be affectionate

Women are wired to be affectionate so this should be at the top of your priorities in being the best husband ever. You can’t ever assume that your wife always knows how much you love her when you fail to show her in simple ways.

While a lot of men prefer touching their wives in the bedroom, women feel more intimate generally when you touch them without the expectation of sex. Touching your wife outside the bedroom gets them much more in the mood to be intimate with you than inside of it. Touching is an extension of your love. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]

7. Learn the love languages

Everyone has different love languages, meaning your way of showing love could be different from others. There are 5 love languages you should know about – quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, giving gifts, and physical touch. Just because you feel loved through words, you can’t expect that to apply for your wife.

For all you know, you could be loving her in the wrong way. Having contradicting love languages is okay as long as both of you give what the other needs. For instance, your love language could be acts of service but if your wife’s is quality time, you should do your best to spend time with her.

This is one of the important ways to be the best husband ever. Not paying attention to love languages is what causes neglect in a marriage. So, ask her how she wants to receive love, and then express your love that way. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]

8. Understand each other’s personality types

Another really helpful hint for being the best husband ever is to learn more about each other’s personality types. No, I’m not talking about astrology here. Rather, there are several personality tests online such as the MBTI.

Once you understand the personality differences between the two of you, then you can be more tolerant and patient with one another. Understanding the personality of your partner can help you avoid conflicts and accept one another unconditionally.

It might help you understand why they’re more patient or outgoing in ways you can’t understand. You’ll never be exactly alike *that would be boring*, but appreciating the differences will help you get along a lot better. [Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]

9. Don’t be complacent

Some people think that once they’re married, they don’t have to put in any effort anymore because the “chase” is over.

However, this is the one aspect that can make you lose your wife and your marriage altogether. You can’t assume that just because you’ve been together for years, you won’t put in the work.

This doesn’t just refer to effort, but this also refers to your hygiene and physical attributes. Don’t just stop looking good for yourself and being clean just because your partner has seen your worst.

Take care of your health and body, maintain good exercise, and eat a balanced diet. In other words, don’t neglect yourself in marriage. Take care of yourself, take care of her, and take care of the family. [Read: 17 qualities of a good husband and why these traits stand out more than the others]

10. Don’t forget date nights

No matter how many years you’ve been together, date nights are so important. There’s no excuse in the book you can use to avoid having date nights with your wife. Especially if you want to be the best husband ever, make your wife feel like she matters consistently.

By taking her out on a date, you can keep the spark alive. They don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, but you do have to have them.

Trust me, you’ll thank me for this advice someday. A woman’s wants are really simple, and quality time is one of them. You can’t stop taking her out on dates just because she’s already your wife.

[Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules to follow for happy love]

So, how can you be the best husband ever?

It all comes down to providing your wife with all her needs to be the best husband ever. This means giving her time, affection, consistency, communication, and your love.

You can’t put just half of your effort into a marriage to make it work. You also can’t be inconsistent and stop just because she’s already your wife.

[Read: The perfect wife material – 25 signs you’re married to the best woman you can ever find!]

Now that you have these tips for how to be the best husband to your wife, it’s time to get to work! Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you need to be your wife’s partner more than anything. Love her with everything you’ve got and do your best to make her happy. That’s how you never lose her.

The post Best Husband Ever: 10 Things The Best Guys Always Do in a Marriage is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Sleeping with a Married Man: 10 Things Most Women Never Think About

He seems like everything you ever want except for one thing: he’s married. Read this to find out the things to know before sleeping with a married man.

Things to Know Before Sleeping with a Married Man

With the several movies and shows we’ve watched about falling for married men, it’s now a shock to find out how common it is. However, before pushing through with this, you need to find out the things to know before sleeping with a married man.

This is quite probably the worst situation you can enter. He appears to be the perfect man for you and you can’t help falling head over heels for him – except you don’t want to because he’s married. And he probably will never be yours.

[Read: 20 signs a married man is in love with you and wants something more]

Should you push your luck with a married man?

The answer to this question depends on what your intentions are. If you’re simply looking for some fun in your life, then this could potentially work out. Personally, I would tell you to run away *very fast*. No matter what angle you look at, you won’t get anything good dealing with a married man.

Even if your intentions are just casual, it can still complicate things *especially when his wife catches both of you*. If you’re so in love with him and you want a relationship with him, then unfortunately, the odds of this happening as slim to none.

There are billions of people in the world, why must you limit yourself to just one person? You can try, but the result isn’t going to be good. Falling for him or even just sleeping with him is already complicated on its own.

Even if he claims that he’s in an unhappy marriage or that they’re separated *but not divorced*, she’s still legally his wife. On paper, that actually counts as something.

[Read: The reality checks when you’re in love with a married man you should always ask yourself]

Things to know before sleeping with a married man

When you meet a great guy, you probably can’t believe your luck. You’ve finally met one who is not only mature, funny, good-looking, sexy, and charming, plus he showers you with attention at the same time.

However, you suddenly notice a wedding ring on his finger, or maybe his wife calls. You’re in a very complicated situation, which calls for a cry for help.

[Read: 15 signs a married man is attracted to you and why you should run for the hills]

The worst part is – what if he has children? In this feature, we’ll be listing down the things to know before sleeping with a married man.

1. The whole experience will change your perception of trust

If someone you meet who you believe to be wonderful can cheat on their spouse, doesn’t that mean that anyone can? This is one of the most important things to know before sleeping with a married man. It’s kinda scary how people can cheat so easily if you think about it.

Before sleeping with him, realize that there’s nothing romantic about this. Even if society or the media romanticizes affairs, there’s nothing good you can get from a married man. No matter how perfect he seems, no matter how much you think you can’t control your emotions, you won’t get real love from a married man – you’re the secret fantasy no one ever knows. [Read: The painful realities of being the other woman you haven’t thought about]

Just think of how innocent their wife is in this game of cheating and betrayal. If you were in her position, wouldn’t you feel angry that the one person you trusted with your life is unfaithful to you? You might be asking – what if you didn’t know they were married?

Obviously, this is different but right now, you probably have awareness of the situation. Why do you continue to push through sleeping with a married man even through all that knowledge of betrayal? [Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating and stop beating yourself up]

2. He won’t leave his wife

This is probably the problem with watching way too many romance movies that lead you to believe that sleeping with a married man can make him choose you over his wife. However, one of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is that he’s not going to just leave his wife for you.

Why would a man uproot his whole life and throw it away for you, when he’s already getting everything he wants from you? He has your love, he gets to have sex with you, he has his own wife and a stable family life. This is the perfect setup he needs!

Even if the sex is the greatest experience of his life, marriage is different than you think. It’s a commitment for better or worse, even if he is cheating on his wife. Most married men who have affairs stay with their wives, get found out by their wives or keep the secrecy for a long time until they can’t anymore.

In addition, if they did leave their partner for you, would you ever trust them completely bearing in mind how your partnership began? Don’t you realize that if he left his wife for you, he can easily repeat the same pattern to someone else?

He’s not going to leave his wife. The earlier you accept this truth, the better. [Read: 14 signs you’re going to be the side chick even if you believe you’re his main girl]

3. You’ll live with guilt every day

The idea that you’re contributing to cheating and betrayal to his wife isn’t something that feels comfortable to anyone *unless you’re a “professional” cheater*. Guilt can manifest in many different ways. As we mentioned earlier, the most common way is a lack of trust in men from that point forward.

The relationship will likely end and when it does, that guilt and shame will manifest in uglier ways in all your future relationships. After all, who wants to hear that their partner was willing to sleep with someone married?

Feeling constant guilt is one of the things to know before sleeping with a married man. [Read: How to overcomes insecurity issues and reclaim power over your life]

4. If you develop strong feelings, you will get hurt

You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into the minute you found out he’s married. You might be innocent when sleeping with him, but everything you do after you found out has consequences. If you continued to stay and have harmless dates with him even after learning his marital status, you’ll seriously hurt yourself.

Often, sex leads to emotions – especially for women. Not many people can manage to separate the two. In that case, you’ll be left chasing a man who doesn’t want to be completely caught. He’s never going to be yours completely because if anything, all of him is his wife’s as long as he’s married.

5. You’re the only person to blame if their wife finds out

One of the most important things to know before sleeping with a married man is if you get caught, while he takes the majority of the blame, you go down along with him.

Especially as a woman, you’re expected to not ride along with cheating, provided women should empower one another. Even if you’re not famous, you’ll have the reputation of condoning a cheater and liar.

The point is, even if you weren’t the one that cheated, you still were involved in that unjust action. You believed it to be okay all because you were falling for him or sleeping with him.

[Confession: True story – I had an affair with a married man and this is what happened to me]

6. The excuses he tells you about his partner won’t always be true

You shouldn’t even be shocked by this one. The fact that he betrayed his wife’s trust to sleep with you means he’s also capable of lying *and very good at it, too!*. You should be very careful of believing the words that come out of his mouth. When he tells you something about his wife, don’t always believe him.

He might lead you to believe that his wife is incredibly toxic or that his wife cheated on him first. Until you hear the other side of the story, don’t be so fast to trust him. If a guy is happy to cheat on his partner, you cannot trust the words he is telling you either.

He wants to get into your pants and he’ll tell you everything you want to hear until he gets what he wants from you.

As hard as it is to say and hear, you are no more special than his partner. You probably heard this saying – once a cheater, always a cheater. If you were to trust anyone, a cheater should be the last on your list. [Read: The 13 types of affairs men have and the reasons behind each of them]

7. You’ll always be the other girl

You can’t change the fact. No matter what angle you look at your relationship from, you’ll always be the other girl. Honestly, you deserve so much better than to be the other girl. Would you really be willing to settle for a married man  and a secret relationship just because he’s the only one available?

He might make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but this feeling often won’t last.

One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is that you will probably be labeled with many names that you don’t deserve or don’t want. You have zero control over it. [Read: How to stop being a side chick – you deserve to be the main dish]

8. You’ll never have him 100%

One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is you’ll never have all of him as a whole. Similar to the point above, you’ll always be sharing him with his life. In addition, you’ll have to go through extremes just so his wife doesn’t find out.

Really, why are you willing to put yourself through all that? There are so many men in the world who aren’t married and are willing to give you more than him. It just takes patience to find the right one. [Read: How do affairs start? The ways they play out in real life]

9. His loyalty lies with his wife and family

When you compare his loyalty for you to his family, he’s obviously going to choose the girl he married. For all you know, you’re just a simple booty call for him. Even if he’s cheating, when an emergency happens, he would drop everything just to attend to his family.

He probably wouldn’t have the same urgency if he found out something happened to you. No matter how much you push yourself to him, you’ll never become at the top of his priorities.

10. He probably won’t marry you even if he does leave her

No matter what you’re looking for in your relationship with him, he won’t give you what you’re expecting. Even if by some miracle he does leave his wife, he won’t marry you. Men who have affairs often fear marriage, even if they’re the first ones who cheated.

He’d have this negative perception of marriage altogether so even if he commits to you as a boyfriend after leaving his wife, that’s all he’s going to be for the rest of your life.

One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is to know exactly what to expect with what you’re getting yourself into. I mean, really get it in your head.

[Read: Secret relationship – Why would someone want to keep things low key?]

So, how do you deal with sleeping with a married man?

If you had the choice, it’s best to walk away from any kind of relationship with him. He’s great and almost perfect, but he’s married. This isn’t a complication you’d want to get yourself into.

When you sleep with a married man *and fall for him entirely*, there’s no going back. The damage is done and you already contributed to infidelity and cheating.

We know it’s hard to take a step back even when you know the whole truth. The thirst is real, the addiction is heady, and the thought of spending time with him is irresistible.

Is there any hope when you sleep with a married man?

Now there is a sliver of a possibility of a happy ending, if you’re in love with a married man who’s a part of a twosome that doesn’t confine themselves to the traditions of marriage.

If he’s in an open relationship, perhaps you could get his affection, but would you be okay knowing he’s sleeping with other women too? [Read: Open relationships and why so many couples find it perfect]

Or if he and his wife are looking for a unicorn or a third partner for a throuple, this may work very well for you too because you now get the unconditional love of two other people. But is that what you’re looking for? [Read: The three-way relationship and how it’s very different from an affair]

So if you’re wondering about the things to know before sleeping with a married man, these are all the things you need to remember. And most importantly, before you fall too hard for him, ask yourself how you see things ending eventually. Do you see even the slightest possibility of a happy ending that’ll end in your favor?

[Read: Dating a married couple – What you need to know BEFORE you consider it]

These things to know before sleeping with a married man might sound harsh. However, sex isn’t everything, especially when it gets in the middle of a marriage. It’s just not worth the hardship and lies.

The post Sleeping with a Married Man: 10 Things Most Women Never Think About is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



 
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