Monday, 1 November 2021

How to Be Friends With a Guy: 16 Friendly Ways To Just Stay Platonic

how to be just friends with a guy

There are way too many people out there who say men and women can’t be just friends. While the basis for their argument is a sound one, it’s just not at all true. So long as you both have a platonic understanding of one another, you can learn how to be friends with a guy.

Admittedly, it’s easy to cross the lines between friendship and something more. Especially as you grow comfortable with one another and you realize they know you better than anyone else, it’s easy to fall into the trap of being more than friends.

It’s why some girls find it so easy to fall for their guy best friend!

However, if you really want to know how to be just friends with a guy, you may need to remember a few rules to make sure you don’t cross that platonic line.

[Read: How to have a perfectly platonic relationship without complicating things]

Some people can be attracted to one another but completely wrong for each other

This is another reason you might want to know how to be friends with a guy without getting too intimate. Even though you can be attracted to him and he might feel the same, there may be a very big reason it would never work out. Perhaps you both have different beliefs or want different things in life.

Sure, there’s evident chemistry, but are you really compatible with one another? As friends, you most likely know one another’s little quirks and even flaws. So while there is evident attraction, they could be the wrong person for you.

It’s best to stay in the friendship lane before you end up ruining your friendship for the potential of a relationship that won’t work.

The point is, you still want them in your life, but you know you could never be with them romantically. However, it’s not always easy to stop yourself. Knowing what to do to remain platonic can help.

[Read: How to be just friends with a guy when he wants more]

Why should you learn how to be friends with a guy?

If you value your friendship with this guy, it’s crucial you learn how to be just friends with a guy. Even if there’s this thought in your head that makes you wonder what if you’re good together, don’t give in to that thought. For all you know, you could be wrong for one another.

Also, you can always find another guy to date, but guy friends are keepers. You wouldn’t want to ruin what you have just to see if things would work, right?

By knowing how to stay platonic with them, you can stop overthinking if the lines would cross beyond friendship. It can be hard *especially if you’re attracted to him*, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

[Read: How to stay just friends after having sex with a guy friend]

How to be friends with a guy and never cross that platonic line

If you have a guy you want to stay friends with but aren’t sure how you can stop yourself or him from crossing the line, we can help. Here are all the ways you can avoid going overboard that will also help keep him in line, too.

1. Let him know how you feel ASAP

This means you just need to tell him right away that friendship is all he’ll get from you. Sure, your feelings might grow down the line and his could, too, but this way, you’re telling him right away that it will never happen.

What better way to insist on friendship than by telling him right from the start?

Also, it avoids any confusion if ever your actions say otherwise. He’ll just remember the day you told him that friendship is the only thing you can give him. This will deter him from making moves in the future, and it’ll help you stick to your original words. [Read: How to express your opinion without overstepping]

2. Create at least a little distance

Don’t be talking to him and trying to be around him all the time. The more you distance yourself from him, the easier it’ll be to remain platonic friends. Let some texts go unanswered, but obviously not all of them.

Don’t let him get used to the fact that you’re constantly texting and calling him 24/7. Boundaries are essential if you want to know how to be friends with a guy without crossing any lines. [Read: Need space in your relationship?]

3. Ask your friends for help sometimes

Your friends can create a really nice barrier between you and him. If you’re feeling particularly affectionate toward him, ask your friends to step in. Let your friends keep you accountable in not letting you cross any boundaries.

If you have the urge to hold him or be affectionate, well, that’s what your friends are there for! They’ll remind you precisely why you cannot be more than friends.

4. Get away from him if things are getting a little heated

Space and distance can do wonders for learning how to be just friends with a guy. If you start to have feelings for him or are flirting quite a bit, create some distance.

Get away from him and remove yourself from that situation. Distract yourself so you don’t end up doing things you might regret.

The closer you are to him, the more likely your feelings will intensify, so it’s essential you create space, just to clear your head *and heart* for a bit. Don’t let yourself carry on to a point you can’t come back from. Stop the flirting on your end right away and ignore any flirting that comes from him. [Read: 23 unspoken signs of mutual sexual attraction between two people]

5. Pursue other people

Find someone else to keep you occupied! If your attention and time are spent on someone else, it’ll prevent anything from blossoming between you and your friends. Plus, you’ll still be able to remain friends even if you’re dating someone else.

You know what they say, the best way to know how to be friends with a guy is to focus on another guy. So get dating and flirt with the next cute guy you spot!

It’ll keep your focus off your guy friend, at least for a bit. You never know; you might even have feelings for this new guy. [Read: When you miss him – 23 mild tricks to stop missing the wrong guy]

6. Don’t get drunk with him alone

This is probably the worst idea anyone could have, ever. Never get drunk with your guy friend if you want to remain just friends. Sometimes it’s fine to have a drink in each other’s company, but all your feelings are heightened when you get drunk.

There’s a huge risk you’ll end up giving in when he flirts with you or worse, you might kiss him when you get too drunk!

That means if you have even the slightest bit of affection for him, it’ll come out a lot more when you’re drunk with him. So this is a mustn’t do if you want to know how to be just friends with a guy. If you do drink together, at least have a friend come with you. [Read: Drunk kiss dilemma – So you kissed your guy friend when drunk… now what?!]

7. Don’t go home together!

Even if you’re not drinking, spending alone time together in his place or yours isn’t a good idea. It’ll feel very date-like even if you two are just friends. Remember that you’re trying to be friends and not end up dating this person!

Spending time with just the two of you leaves a lot of room for error *and flirting* so refrain from doing this! Every time he asks you to a movie or to grab a coffee, bring a friend with you to keep yourself accountable. [Read: How to stop a guy from flirting or hitting on you]

8. Try not to skirt around the issue

Meaning, don’t ignore your feelings or the sexual tension, if you feel any. Admit to yourself that you do feel something for him. Ignoring them will only make you grow closer to him, and it’ll ruin the friendship altogether.

The more you deny any lingering feelings you have for him, the stronger they’ll get to the point that you can no longer hide them. So admit that you feel something for him and take it from there. [Read: The signs she’s hiding her feelings for you though she likes you]

9. Don’t get physical in any way

No cuddles or flirty touches. It’s not really appropriate if you’re trying to avoid falling for that person. If you don’t have any feelings for him at all, sure a hug here and there is fine. The minute you get cozy or snuggle up with him, it’s game over for your friendship.

Even if you want to give him a harmless hug, trust us, there’s no such thing as harmless if you already have feelings for your guy friend! If you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, don’t let any physical touches linger. [Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug and how to feel the difference instantly]

10. Don’t let people assume stuff

If others are calling you both boyfriend and girlfriend, put an end to it. Neither of you needs to start thinking of the other in this way, and stopping it will help avoid you two slipping into those respective roles.

This teasing might seem harmless, but it might trigger feelings for either of you that you wouldn’t have if there wasn’t any teasing. You can’t always control the teasing, but if your mutual friends are doing the teasing, tell them to kindly stop. [Read: 17 signs he likes you way more than just a friend]

11. Shut down his advances if they make any

If he starts making moves and stuff toward you, shut him down. Don’t just ignore them because that won’t make them go away at all. You need to actually shut them down and communicate that you’re not interested. Don’t give in if he ever makes any advances towards you.

The minute you do that, you might as well date him already! Be firm about it and tell him that you’re not messing around in not wanting any actions that lead to more than friendship.

12. Keep him in the loop on your dating life

If he knows you’re dating someone, then it’s unlikely he’ll break the boundaries of your friendship into something more. So if you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, tell him about the guy you’re dating.

Don’t hesitate to let him know you’re dating someone and you really like this guy. If anything, he’ll take it as a sign to keep your friendship strictly platonic as long as some other guy is in your life. [Read: 14 platonic friendship rules to be just friends without the drama]

13. Don’t put your best foot forward

The fact you’re just friends means you don’t have to put your best foot forward when you’re with him. Don’t go all-out with your physical appearance if you want to be just friends with a guy.

You can’t keep dressing in your best clothes and makeup and expect him not to flirt with you or cross boundaries. Guys are visual individuals so if you look your prettiest, guess what? He’ll likely make a move, or worse, he may even assume you’re trying to impress him and expect him to make a move!

14. Avoid late-night texts

You’re literally setting yourself up for failure if you keep texting him late at night. So if you want things to stay strictly platonic with your guy friend, stop texting him late at night.

You’re not a booty call, and you especially don’t want him getting naughty to you. It’s easy to become intimate with someone when texting late at night, so be wary of this. [Read: Booty call or flirty hello? How to respond to late-night texts]

15. Don’t get touchy-feely

If you want to know how to be just friends with a guy, avoid getting all touchy-feely with him. Even if the guy you’re dating ditched you, it’s not an excuse to come crying on his shoulder when he comforts you, and share feelings together.

Vulnerability is a scary road to enter when you want to stay platonic. The minute you let your guard down, it’s easy to cross the lines of friendship and into something more.

16. Remember why you want to remain platonic

This will help you the most. You need to keep reminding yourself why you only want to be friends and why a relationship would never work. If you keep thinking of those reasons whenever you have the urge to be something more, it’ll help keep you sane.

So if you’re serious about wanting to know how to be friends with a guy, remind yourself precisely why you’re doing this and take it from there.

[Read: How to be friends with someone you like without losing your mind]

So, how to be just friends with a guy?

Staying just friends with a guy has its challenges, especially when it’s easy to give in to flirting and all the affection. Especially when you’re already attracted to him, you’re already at risk of turning the friendship into something more. It’s best to remind yourself of all the reasons why you want to stay strictly friends and nothing more.

[Read: 20 signs he just wants to be friends even if you’re hoping for something more]

Knowing how to be friends with a guy means having the discipline and self-control to do this. Even if he flirts with you, don’t ever give in to it. Otherwise, it’s game over for your friendship.

The post How to Be Friends With a Guy: 16 Friendly Ways To Just Stay Platonic is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Stay at Home Wife: 18 Reasons Why Her Life is So Perfect & Enviable

Being a stay at home wife used to be looked down upon, but times are evidently changing. Come and look at the essential reasons why they’re so great!

stay at home wife

Being a stay at home wife used to have a negative notion to it. You’re stuck at home being a full-time wife while your husband goes off to work.

If you have kids, your days are filled with nothing but doing household chores and child duties. However, we now live in modern times where being a stay at home wife is actually a pretty fascinating life.

It removes a lot of pressure of going to work and providing for the household. It no longer means that you’re incapable of having a career or being resigned to a miserable life. In reality, most stay at home wives are content, thriving, and happy with their lives.

[Read: How to be a good wife – And be the best thing a man can have]

Why is being a stay at home wife amazing?

Asides from the obvious that you don’t have to wake up at wee hours every day just to get to work, it’s a comfortable life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make your husband your job. After all, he works hard for you. Why isn’t it acceptable that you would work just as hard to make a life and a home for him?

Having an arrangement where he brings home the bacon and you fry it up isn’t cliché. In fact, it might be the key to two people getting on better and not being so overstressed, overworked, and unhappy. [Read: 13 secrets of a happy marriage that can make or break your romance]

You often see scenarios where two hard-working people end up clashing because of the challenge in who does the household chores and who pays the bills. Being a stay at home wife means you let your husband take care of the finances while you take care of everything at home.

Not to mention, you have the liberty and flexibility to do what you want and finally have time for your hobbies. There’s a reason for the saying “happy wife, happy life.” When you’re happy and content about everything, your marriage is thriving, and so is your family if you have kids.

18 reasons stay at home wives are to be envied

Not only are women allowed to decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives, those who choose to be a stay at home wife are envied. No longer a shameful thing, being a stay at home wife has become not only socially acceptable but admirable.

Here are significant reasons to convince you that being a stay at home wife is actually living quite the dream. 

1. She follows her own dreams

A woman who becomes a full-time housewife knows she faces criticism but does it anyway. The reason? Because she follows her dream and decides for herself what she wants to do with her life. She doesn’t allow other people to pressure, shame, or make her do and be somebody she doesn’t want to be.

Also, it gives her a lot of flexibility to follow what she really loves doing. So if this is you in this scenario, you can do a lot of things as a stay at home mom. You can even be your own boss! Now, how’s that for living the dream? [Read: Follow your dreams – All the amazing reasons why it’s worth it]

2. She doesn’t have the stress of getting the bills paid

There is nothing worse than opening bill after bill that you don’t have the money to pay. A stay-at-home wife might be responsible for the household finances, but it is rarely her fault if there isn’t enough. A stay at home wife leaves the finances entirely to her husband and if there’s ever a shortage, the responsibility doesn’t lie on her directly.

An endless stream of money flows to a joint account and she doesn’t have to worry about whether it is enough; she just writes the checks.

3. Lunch is not something she only has 20 minutes to eat

A stay at home wife schedules lunch whenever she chooses. Not beholden to a boss or a demanding schedule, she takes lunch when she wants, spends as much time as she wants, and catches up with friends. She literally has the liberty to do anything she pleases.

Especially if there are no kids in the picture, she’s free to do anything. There are no deadlines or the pressure or work to worry about when she’s watching Netflix or out with friends. When eating lunch, she can eat however long she wants without feeling guilty. [Read: How to get your life together – 30 ways to experience your best life ever!]

4. She gets to do the small things that make her husband happy

Being a stay at home wife means you focus on doing those things that make you and your man happy. Whoever came up with the phrase happy wife, happy life, did so because it rhymed, but women feel the same way. There’s no longer shame when all you want to do is take care of your husband and your marriage.

If anything, it might even make for a happy marriage without all the nagging.

After all, it’s assumed that all the tasks in the household are yours and everything related to finances and work are his. It’s a simple yet direct way of delegating tasks. [Read: How to be a good wife and be the best thing a man can have]

5. She isn’t so stressed out that sex is just another chore

You have to admit, sex can sometimes feel like a routine, especially in a marriage. A stay at home wife isn’t always stressed out, which takes a massive toll on her sex drive.

Having time to shop for sex toys at will, text her husband sexy messages and photos, and read about the latest things to keep her man happy in bed, she has an exciting and incredible sex life. Lucky her! She has all the time and energy to give her husband the best sex just because of how much time she has on her hands.

She can even plan out dates for her husband to keep the romance alive! [Read: How to be the sexy wife of your husband’s dreams]

6. She is her own boss

No one tells her when to do the dishes or how to do the laundry. If she wants to take the day off and fuck around, that is her prerogative. Completely free to do what she wants, when she wants, she is the boss of herself, period. This is the literal meaning of being your own boss, and every stay at home wife experiences this every day.

Nobody is micromanaging her or pressuring her to finish deadlines or reports at this exact hour. Most importantly, she doesn’t get exhausted daily commuting from home to the office, just to do it repeatedly five days a week. [Read: Boss bitch: 22 quick-fixes to transform yourself into one]

7. Boredom? Don’t think so!

Many people assume that being a stay at home wife is the most boring thing in the world. Maybe you’d run out of things to do at home, right? Wrong! The truth is, there is always something to do. If you choose those things you do that bring meaning and add richness to your life instead of just being a “cog” in the machine.

You can start a new class, have an online business, and go out with no limitations! This is precisely why stay at home wives are being envied nowadays! Boredom isn’t in their blood, but it’s quite the opposite actually. [Read: What to do when you’re bored at home with nothing to do]

8. She’s free to follow her dreams

Since money is not her problem or division, she follows her dreams simply because she wants to. Not being a slave to the nine to five, she devotes herself to humanitarian causes, volunteering, or other activities that mean something to her personally. The reason why people envy her is that she isn’t stuck being a corporate slave.

She gets to do what she’s really passionate about without feeling guilty. She’s doing something for a cause, and it’s why she’s so contented being a stay at home wife. [Read: Follow your dreams – All the amazing reasons why it’s worth it]

9. She gets to focus on a happy home and healthy kids

Not always being stressed and haphazard, a stay at home wife is all about the health and well-being of her family, and it shows. She is the one whose kids have their homework done just as planned, come to school with the edges cut off the sandwiches, and are there to kiss them onto the bus and hug them off.

She’s a wife and a mom 24/7, which is why she does a remarkable job at being both simultaneously. Whenever her husband and kids require something, she gives it to them wholeheartedly.

She’s literally the heart of their home and marriage, and it shows! This is because the pressure and stress of work are cut off from her life to focus better on her family and marriage. [Read: How to live in the moment – 20 positive ways to live in the now]

10. There isn’t any inner turmoil about where she should be

A woman’s work is never done, truly. If you are a working woman, you probably understand what we mean by this. You have a ton of work to do, but your child is sick. Where are you supposed to be? A stay at home wife never has to make something that isn’t a priority to her a priority.

A stay at home prioritizes her family and children wholeheartedly, without a second thought. There’s no career that her kids or husband have to fight over. She does things for the right reasons. She is never resentful or guilty about where her time is spent. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your life]

11. She isn’t running around ragged, holding two full-time jobs

Most women are full-time and stay at home moms combined. Since the household duties typically befall the woman, those with full-time careers and jobs end up working two full-time jobs. Her work is basically her life and while this can be a good thing financially, it can also lead to neglect in the household and family.

When she’s working two full-the jobs, how else can she insert time for her husband and kids? Even when there are cleaning ladies and staff to help, her job is never done. When she gets off, she starts the other. [Read: High maintenance and classy – 15 signs you’re definitely a high maintenance woman]

12. She has more time to focus on herself

A stay at home wife has more time to focus on her health and how she looks. If she is healthy and happy, then she likely raises happier children and sets an example for how her kids should live their lives: happy, adjusted, stable, and secure.

But if she’s unhappy and constantly stressed out, she’ll likely project this frustration onto her family and marriage unintentionally. A stay-at-home wife is so envied nowadays because of so much time on her hands that it leads to a happy and contented life. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]

13. Healthy families, healthier couples

That affects the house and the marriage. Wanting to look good makes her husband happy; a happy marriage makes for happy kids. Do you see how nice it is to stay home full time? Especially without obligations career-wise? All you need is to look after your home constantly and let’s admit it, that’s generally easier than working a full-time career.

When both you and your husband are working, you’ll end up clashing because one of you failed to do a specific obligation or you lack the time for one another in your marriage. [Read: Healthily ever after – The benefits of marriage examined]

14. She doesn’t have to stress when she needs to take time off to care for household things

She never puts one job on hold to do another. The additional stress of having children, a house, and a full-time job leaves anyone out of their mind and resentful. A stay at home wife never worries about not getting one job done while performing another one. Less stress for sure. Her priorities are direct and straightforward.

It’s her husband and kids that are on the top of her priority list, nothing else. Even if she has a lot of time on her hands, she’ll drop everything to provide anything her husband and kids need.

15. She’s there for every milestone

Attending her kid’s graduation? Or maybe witnessing her kid’s first words? She’s there for everything. She never misses every moment when it comes to her kids. She’s not juggling priorities and meetings as a stay at home wife, but she’s 24/7 there for her husband and kids.

It’s a very fulfilling life, and it’s a bonus that she gets to do whatever she pleases. Also, she gets to spend a lot of much-needed quality time with her kids! She can even take them out for ice cream and bond with them whenever. [Read: Relationship milestones – 15 dating highlights you should be proud of]

16. She doesn’t get burned out

Working a full-time job to get home and see that the other household responsibilities weren’t done will eventually lead to exhaustion and burnout. You won’t have the energy or willpower to do anything, including prioritizing your marriage and kids.

You can’t be the wife and mom you want to be if you’re constantly burned out from everything. Every woman has experienced burnout at least once in their career lives, and it can really drain anyone to a large extent. [Read: Millennial burnout – Are you suffering from wanting to do too much?]

17. Staying home is rewarding

There’s something so fulfilling about staying home, and every stay at home wife knows this clearly. It will always be rewarding to care for your family and kids, especially when you see your family and marriage thriving.

So as a stay at home wife, there’s nowhere she’d rather be than at home. It lets her prioritize what truly matters in her life, which is nothing other than her husband and kids.

18. You can still work, but on your passion

On the off-chance that she misses having a job and working for a living, she won’t find herself as a corporate slave any longer. Rather, she’ll pursue her passion instead while still remaining at home.

Whether it’s an online business or being busy with a side hustle, it will feel more fulfilling to her than settling for a 9 to 5 job. She’s still proving what her family needs and doing what she loves at the same time. She’s living the dream!

[Read: The opposite of feminist – A new generation of women]

So, why is a stay at home wife being envied?

Stay at home wives are no longer looked down upon. She lets her husband take care of the finances while taking care of the household and kids.

It’s the perfect definition of partnership where she isn’t getting stressed with her deadlines or burned out with her work. 

[Read: What is a trophy wife and why do all men desire one?]

Now, don’t all these reasons make you envy a stay at home wife? She has everything under control, including a happy marriage and family!

The post Stay at Home Wife: 18 Reasons Why Her Life is So Perfect & Enviable is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



How to Make Small Talk & Talk to Anyone Without Feeling Awkward

Being a good conversationalist is the key to building both friendships and relationships. So it’s a crucial life skill to learn how to make small talk.

how to make small talk

The universally dreaded by-product of long car trips and work parties, it is hard to go a day without finding yourself making small talk with someone you hardly know. If you know how to make small talk, you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble *and unnecessary awkwardness*!

While most interactions with strangers or colleagues aren’t expected to be heart-to-hearts, there has to be something to talk about besides the weather, right?

Being a master at making conversations is a more meaningful life skill than you realize. Not only will it make you more interesting to talk to, but you can also attract people with this skill!

[Read: How to keep a conversation going & make anyone love talking to you]

Why is it important to learn how to make small talk?

We’ve all done small talk, and we’re pretty sure of this. If anything, small talk is our go-to conversation starters when talking to someone you’re not very close to. However, small talk can also be such a nightmare when you’re not good at it.

We all want to skip the awkward part of small talk and go straight into meaningful topics, but you can’t get to that point without mastering small talk first. When you know how to make small talk, this means you can talk to anyone *even your crush*! It benefits you when trying to get someone to notice you and befriending someone.

Also, this skill makes you a more interesting and charismatic person to talk to. Now, who doesn’t want to talk to someone like that? [Read: How to talk to anyone – Master the art of a real conversationalist]

How to make small talk easily

Here’s the thing – while it may be impossible to escape small talk altogether, it is possible to change how you feel about it. By doing so, you can change these short interactions with those you meet into a chance to make a connection and learn about the people around you.

These tips and tricks we have here will prove invaluable in many situations, no matter how shy you are. If you put these into practice, you may find that people actually start to consider you as one of the most friendly and outgoing people they know! [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters!]

1. Focus on the other person

Here’s something that is almost universally true, people love to talk about themselves. While they may not be comfortable baring their soul to a stranger, most people will be more than happy to talk about how they feel about a situation, what they’re in the middle of doing, or where they’re headed.

Parents and grandparents love to talk about their children, university students love to talk about what they are studying, and many people enjoy discussing what they do for a living.

So if you find it generally awkward to master the skill of small talk, shift the focus from yourself to them. Ask them questions and keep the conversation going. [Read: 3 steps to keep a conversation going and 8 things to remember in your conversation]

2. Remember details *including names*

Often, the people we make small talk with are people we see every day for a short period. One of the best ways to make these meetings more of a connection without necessarily having longer conversations is to remember small details about the person.

Remembering details makes you an incredible listener, and people love someone attentive to detail. It means that you remembered them enough for the significant details to stick.

Learning names can be daunting, but once you know a couple of facts about someone *e.g., Reggie really likes baseball and just adopted a golden retriever*, you’ll be surprised how quickly you begin to remember names. [Read: How to network at a party and look really cool doing it!]

3. Offer some information about yourself

As much as you should keep the focus of your conversation on the person you are talking to, no one wants to talk to a complete stranger.

For this reason, you should also offer up some fast facts about yourself. Remember that conversations are a two-way street, so it shouldn’t be just them doing the opening up.

Let them get to know you and take it from there. Also, you never know; you might find something in common and bond over that similarity! So if you want to know how to make small talk, tell them something about yourself. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]

4. Don’t over-share

As much as we said you need to offer some information about yourself, this doesn’t mean you should overshare either. You don’t want to reveal all your secrets right on that first interaction with them.

Offering some information about yourself is essential, but offering too much information *or the wrong kind of information!* can kill a conversation quicker than almost anything else. Keep facts about yourself short and sweet, and don’t venture into any hot topics when you’re just making small talk.

They don’t need to know all your exes or family drama right off the bat. No matter your goal with this person, whether you’re building a friendship or just making conversation, keep the important information to yourself *at least for the time being*. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t know it!]

5. Know when silence is appropriate

While small talk is the norm for most parts of our lives, there are situations where small talk just isn’t appropriate – elevator rides or commuter trains being prime examples. Even if learning how to make small talk is an important life skill, you don’t have to use it on every stranger you come across with.

There are just some scenarios where you don’t need to force a conversation, and that’s okay! It’s vital to watch out for these social cues, as you do not want to make those around you uncomfortable.

6. Put away your phone

This is a crucial tip for how to make small talk if you want to do it right. It’s etiquette not to be distracted with your phone when talking to someone. It shows that you’re interested in knowing them and in having a conversation with them.

But if you’re always on your phone, they’ll feel neglected and ignored. They won’t want to endure a conversation with you if this is the case. So put away your phone and focus on talking to them, nothing else. That is if you want to leave a positive impression. [Read: Phubbing and why it’s the rudest thing to do in a conversation]

7. Balance listening and speaking

Remember what we said about conversations being a two-way street? Mastering the art of making small talk is finding the perfect balance between listening and speaking. If you listen too much, they’ll feel like they’re the only one contributing to the conversation.

But if you talk too much, you’ll be seen as selfish and inconsiderate. So finding the balance is so crucial in being a good conversationalist. [Read: How to hold a conversation and make people love talking to you]

8. Match their energy

Similar to texting, matching their energy is just as crucial in learning how to make small talk. There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who has a dull and dry energy.

So if the person you’re talking to is very upbeat and enthusiastic, you need to match that without making it seem forced or like you’re mocking them. What matters is that you keep up with their tone of conversation and make it seem like you’re enjoying talking to them.

9. Keep things light

The fact that you’re here reading this feature means you should keep things light. After all, that’s what small talk is mostly about. You can’t skip steps and begin asking them about their past relationships or how their family is like.

Keep it light and casual, and you can even make them laugh! It keeps the conversation simple and light at the same time. This also means staying away from negative and heavy topics, even if you’re having a particularly tough week. [Read: The 60 best deep get to know you questions to know anyone instantly]

10. Compliment them

Compliments work wonders in making small talk, which is precisely why you should use this to your advantage. Tell them how great they look that day or if you already know the basic things about them, you can compliment their passion or personality mid-conversation.

They’ll appreciate this coming from you and it’ll also catch them off guard. More importantly, they’re a great ice-breaker when you’re at a loss for what to say. [Read: The best compliments for girls – 25 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]

Small talk starters in different scenarios

Whether you realize it or not, there are a few places where small talk is almost always certain. And if know how to deal with these situations, you’ll find that you can twist a few words and incorporate small talk into any other scenario.

Here are a few good general tips, along with specific situations where the rules differ slightly. [Read: 15 easy conversation starters to use with someone you like]

Scenario #1 Around the water cooler

Small talk can be difficult with co-workers. After all, you see them every day but don’t have the time or the professional ability to become the best of friends.

In this case, try to pick up on one or two things that are important to your co-worker, like a sports team or a home renovation project that you can discuss in slightly more detail than you would in an ordinary small talk conversation.

Additionally, with co-workers, it can be essential to listen for clues where more significant life events are taking place – appropriate responses to a death in the family or a big win for their child are definitely not out-of-place in this situation. [Read: 8 tips to be good friends with coworkers without overstepping the boundaries]

Scenario #2 At the coffee shop

At this point, your barista has your coffee order and name memorized. Surely that means that you share a connection deep enough for a longer chat.

Unfortunately, in this situation *and in several others where you come into contact with those doing you a service as part of their job* his attention to detail is what makes him good at his job – not an invitation for a heart-to-heart. So while the coffee shop is generally a good setting to make small talk, it doesn’t apply for a barista.

Sure, it could work with a stranger, but this is with the assumption they’re not busy reading a book or finishing a deadline.

Scenario #3 At a bar

Bars are magical places where, if the music’s quiet enough for talking, you may find that the rule to not over-share doesn’t apply as strictly.

In these sort of situations, where people are looking for more of a human connection than they would be at work or in a coffee shop, feel free to open up a bit more *although it’s still vital that you gauge other people’s comfort levels with the subject matter*!

After all, there’s a reason why people often go to bars to meet someone romantically. So you don’t have to worry too much when learning how to make small talk in a bar setting! [Read: Easy ways to be funny and make people love your company]

Scenario #4 Traveling

Traveling is one of the trickiest situations to gauge – some people love nothing more than making best friends with the person sitting next to them on the plane, while others would instead just put their headphones on and fall asleep. To test the waters, it’s easy to ask a simple question. “Why are you traveling to _____” is a great starter.

If your seat-mate responds with a single word and a roll of their eyes, it’s probably best for you to start flipping through the inflight entertainment.

Most people generally would find it annoying for a complete stranger to start talking to them on a plane ride, where they just want to rest and get a moment of peace. So you need to tread the waters lightly when learning how to make small talk when traveling.

[Read: The 12 types of humor and how it affects your conversations and your relationships]

So, how to make small talk?

Small talk can be frightening, but very few people actually have it all figured out. By using these tips and tricks, you will be able to fake confidence in your own abilities so that others can’t tell you’re nervous.

And slowly, you’ll begin to believe it yourself! Before long, you’ll be on a first-name basis with everyone you cross paths with, and you will have set the stage for a lot of exciting stories and interactions.

[Read: 18 insightful reasons why you have difficulty making friends]

So have you tried these tips in learning how to make small talk? If not, what are you waiting for? Set your conversation skills to the test and start connecting with a stranger!

The post How to Make Small Talk & Talk to Anyone Without Feeling Awkward is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



How to be Emotionally Available: 17 Ways to Open Up to Love & Life

You can’t be distant if you want to find love because otherwise, it will never work. This is why you need to learn how to be emotionally available.

how to be emotionally available

There are a ton of reasons you might be closed off and emotionally unavailable. Maybe someone broke your heart before or perhaps you just had a shitty upbringing and aren’t sure how to be vulnerable with someone. If you want to find love, however, you need to learn how to be emotionally available first.

No matter what happened in your past or childhood, there’s no excuse in the book that lets you off in being emotionally unavailable. If you’ve been on the receiving end of this, you’d know that it’s like you’re practically dating a wall!

As long as you’re distant, you’ll never let people in and get to know you *the real you*. If you don’t want to end up alone forever, learning how to be emotionally available really is a must.

[Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 17 signs you are & how to fix it ASAP]

Why some people just can’t connect with others in an intimate way

There are many people out there who struggle with emotional availability. They can’t seem to connect with someone on a deeper level, and this leaves them alone and without love. After all, the only way to fall in love and have someone fall in love with you is to open up to them. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and feel closer instantly]

Some people were probably never distant in the first place, but an extreme level of pain and trauma may have changed them.

For others, they’ve always been this way because of some childhood trauma or reasons. Remember, many people struggle with this. And being emotionally distant is a very common defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt again.

But if you never learn how to be emotionally available, you’ll also never let yourself be happy – and that’s no way to live. Also, contrary to what you may assume, being distant doesn’t make you strong. On the other hand, vulnerable people have so much strength in them to reveal what they really feel.

There’s nothing braver than baring your soul to others, even with the possibility of getting hurt. [Read: 25 red flags of an emotionally unavailable man]

Why you can’t achieve happiness by being distant

We all think that when we put ourselves at a certain distance from someone, we also protect ourselves. But the real sacrifice when you never learn how to be emotionally available is you won’t find true love. Sure, you’ll find people to date and even be in a relationship with. But your fear of connection and being intimate with them is precisely what will push them away from you.

Emotional distance doesn’t belong anywhere in a romantic relationship, at least in one that actually works. You need to let others in, no matter how scary it might seem.

In conflict, you need to have the capacity to open up and express even your difficult emotions. If you keep being distant, you might lose the one you love forever. [Read: How to recognize an emotionally distant partner & deal with them]

How to be emotionally available so you can be happy and find love

Opening up and allowing someone to know the real you can be really scary. You’re showing them every part of you and not all of those bits are great. Your fear is totally understandable.

However, love is something nearly all humans crave and if you’re one of them and aren’t sure how to be emotionally available, we can help. Here’s how you can learn to get closer to someone and be yourself so you can open up emotionally.

1. Find the core of the issue

There’s a bigger problem at play here. If you can’t open up to people and get vulnerable, it’s usually due to a much larger issue. Think back and figure out what may be the problem. Did an ex break your heart? Have you never been close to anyone before? Did something in your childhood affect your ability to get close to someone?

Learning how to be emotionally available will not be an easy road, but it’ll all be worth it. You need to look within to become emotionally available again. By healing from whatever it is in your past, you’re a step closer to letting people in. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a real and serious relationship yet]

2. Move slower

Don’t rush your relationships. If someone tries to get really close to you and you start freaking out a little, just communicate with them.

Explain that you’re not all that great at being emotionally available but you’re working on it. [Read: How to slow down a relationship: Take your time & enjoy the romance]

You can learn to let down your walls if you just take it slowly and realize eventually that they’re worth trusting after all. Just talk to them and take your relationship a little bit slower so you can truly create a close bond with the person you like. Love is patient and kind so if they know you tend to put your guard up, your partner can understand your issues and help you overcome them if they truly love you.

3. Be friends first

Those who tend to be emotionally distant have the worst commitment and trust issues. So if you want to learn how to be emotionally available, developing friendship first is a great strategy. Your friendships are probably a lot deeper than any of your romantic relationships have been.

Slowing down and deciding to just be friends for a while can help you open up without the added pressure of all the drama dating can bring. [Read: How to tell if you can go from friends to lovers]

4. Talk about complex matters

Trust issues will be a primary factor that triggers your emotional unavailability. So instead of going for small talk, discussing deep and meaningful subjects can help you get to know them better. Don’t keep talking about your work or your day, but go for issues and complex matters.

This will help you get to know them in an intimate way but it’ll also force them to get to know you. When you discuss controversial topics, you won’t be thinking about it in terms of opening up. It just feels like you’re just chatting about things you have strong opinions about. This is why guarded people love talking about deep subjects; it doesn’t force them to open up. [Read: 40 very deep questions to ask someone before you open up to them]

5. Commit to the idea of opening up

If you can’t commit to being more emotionally available, you won’t be. You need to make a conscious decision to be more open and stick to it.

Growth will always be uncomfortable, but you need to dedicate yourself to letting others in, even if every fiber of your being tells you to run away and shut down.

Working toward it every single day will ensure that you get there someday. Focus on your goal, and you’ll get there eventually. [Read: 12 obvious signs you’ve got major commitment issues]

6. Be empathetic

Think about how the other person feels. Do you think it would really make them happy to see you being so distant all the time? It probably hurts them. Not to mention the fact that they probably don’t think you care about them as much as you do. So if you want to know how to be emotionally available, learn to empathize with others.

Think about how it would feel if the situation were reversed and take it from there. For instance, in an argument, instead of shutting down and possibly walking away, remind yourself to practice empathy so you can see why they’re upset. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

7. Realize how much you care about that person

Do you truly care about the person you want to get close with? If so, you really need to be working toward showing them how much you care. And that means opening up to them. Especially if you’re afraid to lose them, then you need to do everything in your willpower to let them in and become vulnerable.

It takes a lot of courage, but have faith in yourself that you can do this. You can’t, in good conscience, care about someone deeply without showing them who you really are. [Read: 10 types of caring love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

8. Play fair

If they’re opening up to you, why would it be fair to hold everything back? You’re not being equal with one another. They’re doing all the work in the relationship and you’re just skating by, barely even putting forth an effort.

So if they’ve already bared their heart and soul to you, isn’t it fair you do the same? Emotional connection plays just as an essential role as physical connection. If you want to know how to be emotionally available, learn to play fair with them.

9. Take responsibility

While you can’t fully control your emotions, you can control your actions. You need to take responsibility for your love life and realize that it’s your fault you can’t find love. That may sound harsh, but it might be what you need to tell yourself in order to get over being emotionally unavailable.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take accountability for your mistakes. If they feel so far away from you, that’s because you were distant from them first. Now, what are you going to do about this?

If you own up to your own actions and take responsibility for the fact that you remain closed off, it’ll be easier to let go of that part of yourself so you can find love.

10. Be patient with yourself

Patience is an important aspect of learning how to be emotionally available. You can’t expect to get it right overnight, but it takes consistency and patience. Relearning how to be open is not an easy thing. Your mind has been so protective of your feelings for so long that it’ll take a while to learn how to open yourself up to others again.

Especially when it’s been your defense mechanism for a while now, it will take a lot of reprogramming and self-awareness to break down your walls to find love. [Read: How to open up to someone and form a deeper connection]

11. Face your fears of vulnerability

Being vulnerable is scary, but you can’t dwell on that fear for the rest of your life. Determine what scares you about opening up to people. Are you scared of getting hurt? Do you fear being taken advantage of or people using your vulnerability against you?

These are the questions you should ask yourself. Facing vulnerability is a scary thing, but it’s necessary for your growth and relationships. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]

12. Write on a journal

Being emotionally distant will build a wall between you and every person you love, which is precisely why it’s crucial to learn how to be emotionally available. Journaling is a great way to practice vulnerability as you write down all your feelings, including those you don’t want to face.

It’s an effective practice, especially as nobody would read the things you write down. It’s just between you and your journal.

13. Develop healthy coping mechanisms

There are healthy ways to deal with your fear and past trauma that don’t always result in you shutting yourself out from the world. For instance, humor is one example of a healthier approach.

You can also try practicing mindfulness or meditation to help you stay in the present and understand your emotions. When you feel the tendency to shut off, be aware that you’re feeling that way, but resist the urge to give in. [Read: How to stop self-destructive behavior & change your life for good]

14. Talk to someone

Have you ever tried talking to a friend about your struggle to open up? Sharing your struggles can make the burden lighter and feel less heavy. But if you already tried this and it didn’t work, you can also talk to a counselor.

There’s nothing wrong with you just because you speak with a professional about this. If you really want to know how to be emotionally available and have a healthy coping mechanism, talking to a counselor is a very responsible and mature thing to do. [Read: Relationship counseling – 10 signs you need it to save your love]

15. Change your mindset

You might’ve heard this already, but we’ll say it again. Your mindset is so powerful that it can control everything, including handling relationships and dealing with emotions. So if you have a negative mindset, then you’ll naturally be distant and unavailable.

If you want to let down your walls and learn to open up to others, you need to change your mindset. Stop thinking that everyone is out to hurt you because that isn’t true. Your present does not equate to your past, ever. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

16. Discuss your fears with your partner

To stop your tendency of being distant, you need to be reassured that your fears won’t happen. So you need to have the courage to tell your partner your fears and talk about this with them. Also, if something triggers your emotional distance, tell them about it and maybe, they can also do something to avoid that trigger.

For instance, if you’re only distant in intense arguments like yelling, your partner could be aware of this and avoid resorting to that altogether. [Read: Fear of intimacy – The hardships of being afraid of love]

17. Set boundaries

Boundaries will always be important in relationships, especially if you want to learn how to be emotionally available. They help keep the respect in the relationship.

For example, if you tend to become distant when you become too giving because you fear they’re taking you for granted, then set boundaries. It doesn’t mean you love them less, but you’re just respecting yourself enough.

[Read: How to set personal boundaries & guide other people to respect it]

So, how to be emotionally available?

You can practice opening up to others by taking this slowly instead of rushing things. Remember that letting go of your walls will be a tricky thing, especially if it’s your coping mechanism when hurt.

Focus on your goal, which is learning to be emotionally available, and you’ll get there eventually.

Learning how to be emotionally available won’t happen overnight. But eventually, you’ll get better when you practice expressing your emotions and facing your fear of vulnerability.

The post How to be Emotionally Available: 17 Ways to Open Up to Love & Life is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



How to Know a Relationship is Over: 33 Signs It’s Over for Good

It’s heartbreaking when a breakup is about to occur. But how to know a relationship is over? Keep reading to know the signs it’s really over for good.

how to know a relationship is over

Being in a relationship undoubtedly has its ups and downs. When you hit a rough patch, it can be difficult to know whether it is just that—a tricky time but something you’ll get through, or the start of your relationship’s demise. Learning how to know a relationship is over helps you get out now before things turn really ugly.

It’s always difficult to accept when a relationship is about to go down in flames. No matter how much time and energy you put into the relationship, it can still end and fall apart. And honestly, no one enjoys a breakup!

If there is something worth fighting for there, it may be that you can still find a way to turn your relationship around and get back on track once more.

[Read: 15 gestures to bring back the love when the love is gone]

When does a relationship end?

A relationship ends when one or both people stop trying.

If you’re trying to figure out how to know a relationship is over, it doesn’t happen all at once. A relationship doesn’t just fall apart out of nowhere, but it falls apart because of the little things that build up to this massive problem. [Read: Time to let go? 14 reasons why good relationships end]

Especially when there’s no effective communication in the relationship, the relationship is bound to fall apart. Fights are normal in a relationship – healthy even. But when all you do is fight and quarrel about the same things repeatedly, then you’re both just waiting for the breaking point of when to call it quits.

When a relationship turns sour, bad, or especially toxic, it’s better to give up on the relationship rather than hurt yourself trying to mend things.

There are three vital factors to a relationship – trust, respect, and love. The minute one of these is broken, the structure of your relationship is also affected.

How to know if a relationship is over – 33 signals to help you decide

It is crucial not to confuse these feelings for ones where you simply don’t like the idea of being alone or don’t want to be single and start all over again. If you stay together, it has to be for the right reasons. Otherwise, you just waste more of your time, only to break up further down the line.

What are the indicators when it comes to understanding how to know a relationship is over? It can be difficult, but take a look at the signs below. If they sound like your relationship, it may well be time to call it quits.

[Read: When is it time to break up? 15 signs to know for sure if it’s time]

1. You bicker constantly

Constant fighting is no fun for anyone and suggests underlying issues. If you can’t get to the bottom of them, it may be time to say goodbye to your relationship.

One of the signs on how to know a relationship is over is when you constantly bicker and fight, even when it’s about minor things. [Read: How to know if your relationship is toxic so you can get out fast]

2. You fight about the same thing over and over

Even if fights and arguments are normal and acceptable in love, it’s exhausting to fight about the same things repeatedly. Are you always having the same fight? If you never resolve it, you probably will have the same fight forever.

Can you let it go, or will it drive you insane? So it’s either you sit down and talk about it once and for all or give up on the relationship. The choice is yours. [Read: 25 clues to know if relationship therapy will help your relationship]

3. You think about cheating

Do you keep thinking about other people and what it might be like to be with them instead? Do you fantasize about cheating, or have you ever got close to it in real life? If you feel this way, you need to take a long hard look at your relationship.

Perhaps, you would be better off calling it a day. Don’t wait for the day you really end up cheating before you call it quits and give up. Constantly fantasizing about cheating is a concrete red flag that something isn’t right with your relationship. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

4. You have cheated

If you have cheated, you broke the trust of a relationship and didn’t respect your partner. You may have reasons why it happened, but your relationship is probably doomed unless you are honest with them and find a way to move forward.

So if you’re wondering how to know if a relationship is over, the fact that you cheated is one of the signs. You’re basically halfway out the door. [Read: Women who cheat – 10 surprising reasons they’re unfaithful]

5. You fantasize about a life without them

Are you constantly thinking how nice life would be without your partner? Does it feel like a weight off your mind? If so, it may be that you’d be better off without them.

If you’re happy with your relationship, you shouldn’t be fantasizing about a life without them in the picture. If you’re in love, it should be the other way around. Your partner should be making you feel so grateful that you can’t picture a life without them!

6. You have too little sex

Okay, so in a long-term relationship, everyone’s sex life cools off a little, but if you barely have sex anymore, it may be that the spark has gone. Sex allows you to express the love you have for one another in ways words can’t.

So if you’re not having sex, that’s an indicator of how to know a relationship is over. [Read: Sexless relationships – Why sex is just as important as love for a happily ever after]

7. You have too much sex

Sex might be essential, but it shouldn’t be everything in your relationship. Do you solve arguments through sex? Do you have sex rather than talk about things? Doesn’t sound very healthy, does it? Sex alone isn’t the answer to solving your problems.

All it’s doing is distracting both of you from sitting down and talking about your issues. There will come a time where your problems will haunt you, and sex will no longer work as a distraction. [Read: Too much sex? 15 signs to know if your sex life is well balanced]

8. You don’t spend any quality time together

You need to make time for one another in a relationship. If neither of you bothers to do this, you may be better off out of it.

Quality time is such an important aspect of relationships, no matter what your love language might be. If you don’t desire to spend time with each other anymore, there’s something off about your relationship.

9. You moan about them to your friends

When you meet up with your friends, do you just constantly moan about your partner to them? If they nudge you to break it off, it may be because they already know you two aren’t compatible with each other, or worse, they’re bored of listening to you go on about how bad things are!

If you’re looking for signs on how to know a relationship is over, it’s when all you do is complain to your friends.

10. You cry about them a lot

Do you find yourself crying a lot about the relationship? It doesn’t sound like you are very happy. Time to be alone? We’re pretty sure you aren’t dating an onion, so why are you crying so much?

So if you’re regularly crying in your relationship, that’s already a red flag that your relationship isn’t good for you! [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

11. You don’t respect them

Ouch. Respect should go both ways in a healthy relationship so if you don’t respect them, that’s already an indicator. Respect is hugely important in a relationship.

But if you can work on this, then, by all means, go for it. Ask yourself what about your partner you don’t respect and take it from there. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

12. You don’t trust them

Trust is another important factor. Without trust, what kind of relationship do you really have? A relationship is guaranteed to fall apart when there’s a lack of trust because that automatically means you don’t respect them or find them reliable.

If you’re wondering how to know a relationship is over, know that if don’t trust them, even if you try very hard to do so, that’s a very strong sign things aren’t looking too good. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

13. You make big decisions without them

A successful relationship is one where you share big decisions with each other and includes one another in every aspect of your lives.

If you can’t do this, then you need to move on to someone else. This means you either don’t respect them enough to make decisions with you, or you don’t value them enough. Either way, it’s best to call it quits.

14. You put them down all the time

If you constantly pass snide remarks about your partner, knocking their confidence or putting them down, you need to ask yourself why. We’re sure you didn’t do this at the beginning of your relationship, so why do it now?

Perhaps you simply don’t like them anymore! This should be obvious by now, but a relationship requires you to like them as a person. Otherwise, what’s the point? [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a healthy relationship]

15. They put you down all the time

As above, if you constantly receive criticism from your partner, you might be better off out of it. If your partner sees your flaws more than your best assets, it clearly shows they don’t think you’re good enough for them.

It just means they’re the wrong person for you, and this is something you shouldn’t tolerate further. [Read: People who put you down – How to face them and grow from within]

16. You are mean to one another

If you are deliberately spiteful and mean to one another, you should ask yourself why you want to stay in a relationship like that? You could end up being bitter and angry or really hurting them, and that’s no good for anyone. So if you find that you’re mean and not in a playful and joking way, it’s time to call it quits.

17. You make jokes at each other’s expense

There are generally healthy relationships where jokes are okay, especially if they’re also your best friend. But if you always mock one another, this gets pretty draining and feels as though they aren’t on your side. Mocking is different from making jokes, so you need to learn the difference.

18. You don’t know what to say anymore

Have you run out of things to say to one another? Do you feel like you can’t even be bothered to talk anymore? It sounds like your relationship has run out of steam.

If your relationship has lost that spark and normal flow of conversation, it’s time to rethink things. The lack of conversation is enough to make a relationship stale. It’s either you ignite your spark once again or call it quits. [Read: 15 very common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

19. You don’t support one another

A good relationship means supporting one another and being each other’s biggest fan. If you don’t feel this way about your partner, perhaps you would be better off with someone else.

Having a supportive partner is everything in a relationship. So if you’re wondering how to know a relationship is over, observe if there’s a mutual flow of support. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

20. You don’t feel happy

Really ask yourself whether you are happy? If you aren’t, choose something different. While you can’t be happy 24/7 in a relationship, you should at least be happy most of the time.

They must bring joy to your life the majority of the time. If not, ask yourself why that is and if it’s something you can fix. [Read: Not happy in a relationship? How to choose the right path for you]

21. You play the blame game

If you feel like nothing is your fault and everything is theirs and they feel the same about you, you clearly get nowhere. Time to call time out on your relationship.

It takes two for a relationship to be over, so if both of you are putting the weight of the blame on the other person, it might be time to give up. [Read: 7 reasons why playing victim makes your life worse]

22. You’ve stopped being affectionate

Look, affection isn’t everything in a relationship. But if you’re asking how to know if a relationship is over, it’s a pretty massive indicator if the love is still present or not.

If you never hold hands, cuddle, or show affection towards one another, you have grown apart. It may be too late to pull it back together. [Read: The 15 ways PDA can save your relationship]

23. You find it hard to think of the good things

If you struggle to think of the good things about your relationship or partner, this could be a sign your relationship is inching towards its end. A relationship should be filled with good memories and the bad, so there should at least be as many good ones than bad, if not way more.

If you can’t come up with anything good, maybe you’re already at the point where the bad outweighs the good so much that the bad is blinding you of the good memories you had with them.

24. You think about ending it all the time

This is a clear red flag when it comes to telling how to know a relationship is over. If you think about ending the relationship all the time and constantly come up with reasons why you should, it might be time to bite the bullet and just get it over with.

Maybe the reason you have this thought all the time is because it’s practically over for you in your own head and you’re just biding your time. [Read: How to break up with someone you love – 18 steps & the things to say]

25. You intentionally sabotage the relationship

Are you deliberately sabotaging your own relationship so they’ll break up with you? If so, just be brave and do it yourself. When you self-sabotage the relationship, that is never a good sign of anything.

It means you’re either looking for a way out or you’re seeing if the relationship is still worth fighting for. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your life]

26. You want different things

Having life goals that are in some way aligned is really important. If yours aren’t, you’ll probably end up moving in different directions anyway. Despite the popular phrase that opposites attract, you’ll end up clashing eventually.

Or worse, one of you would be forced to adjust for the other, which can lead to a lot of resentment for the person that adjusts.

27. You never laugh together

Having fun and laughter in your relationships keeps things flirty, happy, and the spark alive. If you never laugh together anymore, it’s time to put an end to it.

This is why they say that the best feeling is when your partner is also your best friend. If you no longer laugh with them, that’s how to know a relationship is over. [Read: Loving someone with depression and why it’s not your job to fix them]

28. You fall out of love

This is probably the sign that hurts most in this list because you never see it coming. Falling out of love happens, and it’s often out of your control. It’s slow and gradual, until you just wake up one day and realize you’ve fallen out of love.

The question you should ask is, is there something you can do to bring back the spark or is there no use trying anymore? [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship? Should you stay or break free?]

29. You feel alone in their company

When you feel like you’re alone and you miss them, even when you’re in the same room with them, that’s when it’s over. This feeling hurts like a b*tch because it generally means your relationship is different.

Maybe you feel neglected in a particular aspect or something else entirely, but they make you feel more alone. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship]

30. There’s a lack of effort

When one or both of you stop trying to make the relationship work, that’s how to know a relationship is over. This means you both practically gave up on the relationship, and there’s no use putting in the work any longer. Also, you only put in effort for the things you care about. The moment this is gone, so is the relationship.

31. You no longer work as a team

Relationships are about partnerships, so if this dynamic changes, things could mean game over for the both of you. It means that you’re either more focused on being a lone wolf, or you no longer see them as your partner.

Both things are bad for the relationship and will eventually lead to the end for both of you. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]

32. You don’t see a future with them

This really hurts as we never see it coming. But one day, the future you envision for yourself changes, and maybe your partner is no longer part of that. So if there’s a lack of future together and it’s just not something you see anymore, that’s how to know a relationship is over. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future]

33. The relationship has become toxic

If there’s any form of manipulation, toxicity, gaslighting, or abuse in the relationship, things are automatically over.

Of course, it’s easy to think that maybe it’s just a rough patch, but how long are you going to convince yourself of that lie. A toxic relationship can’t become healthy, not unless both of you really work towards that goal.

[Read: 15 signs of a toxic relationship that’ll go from bad to worse]

So, how to know a relationship is over?

These signs above are how you can know if your relationship is on the verge of falling apart. Relationships never end overnight, and it’s usually a buildup of the minor things that become a significant problem in your relationship. Now you both have two choices from here- either you both attempt to fix the problem together, or let go.

[Read: 24 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

If you look at your relationship and honestly say many of these signs apply to you, it can help you understand how to know a relationship is over and truly help you move on. Sometimes it really is better to let go than hurt yourself holding on to a relationship that’s already over.

The post How to Know a Relationship is Over: 33 Signs It’s Over for Good is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



 
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