17 Most Important Things in a Relationship that Hold It Together

If you focus on these important things in a relationship, you’ll see that a relationship can be way easier, and a lot more loving and fulfilling as well!

Relationships are not simple. Just like taking care of anything worthwhile, they require work, effort, and focus. But, what are the most essential things in a relationship? You don’t want to get carried away worrying about things like birthday presents when your communication is failing, do you?!

Understand what the priorities are. You need to know where your priorities lie if you want to make your relationship work.

Aside from communication, three things comprise a functioning relationship – love, respect, and trust. There are the vital things that will make your relationship last.

Even if just one of these three things is broken, there will be conflict in your relationship, and it might lead to your falling apart if you don’t find a way to fix things.

[Read: Relationship rules: 30 must-know tips to live your best love life!]

Knowing the most important things in a relationship

Everyone has their own priorities in life. It makes sense that those would carry over into a relationship. Some people are more concerned about the future while others want to be happy in the moment.

Of course, each person and relationship will have its own focus, but as long as you know the essential things in a relationship to you and your partner, you can work on them. If you’re serious about making the relationship last, it’s vital to get your priorities straight.

Maybe in your last relationship, intimacy was one of the essential things in your relationship. But now, it could be communication or even compromise. In order to really know what the most important things in a relationship are, look at your relationship, what is most important to you and your partner, and how to work on it.

Every relationship is different, which is also why communication is an important factor in making things work. Talk about it with your partner on the most important things in a relationship for both of you, and take it from there. 

[Read: These are 12 healthy relationship expectations for a good love life]

How do you make a relationship last?

Relationships don’t come easy, ever. Even with the saying that you should be with someone who makes love feel easy, it will always come with hard work and effort. If you both don’t make the relationship work, it will eventually fall apart.

Unlike what we have seen in the movies or in fairytales, you don’t just fall for the right person and live happily ever after. In the real world, you both actively participate to make a relationship work. You constantly choose them every day, and the same goes for them.

As ideal relationships seem, there’s no escaping how crucial it is to know the important things in a relationship. That is, if you really want to have a serious and committed relationship that lasts the test of time! [Read: How to make a relationship last – 19 love commandments]

What are the most important things in a relationship?

In case you’re not the best at analyzing your relationship to find the most important things, here are some ideas on what to focus on, when it comes to you, your partner, and your relationship.

As we said, each relationship is different, but some things are the most important in almost all relationships. Even if they aren’t the most important things in yours, focusing on them definitely won’t hurt.

In fact, caring for all of these most important things in a relationship will only make your bond even stronger. [Read: What to look for in a relationship – 23 traits of a happy romance]

1. Trust

Trust is the most crucial thing in any relationship, so you can’t take this lightly. Without trust, all the other important things in a relationship will not last. Trust is what any solid relationship is built on. When you don’t have this foundation, everything built on top will crumble.

The lack of this is precisely why a lot of relationships and especially marriages fall apart. Really, it’s the key for all long-lasting relationships. [Read: How to stop the codependency for a healthy relationship]

2. Respect

Equality is not just the most important when it comes to equal pay, but in relationships too. Without respect, one person in the relationship will always feel less than the other. See your partner as an equal and appreciate their opinions and insights.

If you can’t do that in a relationship, not only will one partner’s self-esteem suffer, but anger and resentment can quickly take over.

Respect is one of the most crucial things you should never ignore. If you want your relationship to work, you need to respect them. See them as an equal, respect their boundaries, and respect their opinions. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]

3. Compromise

Once you figure out respect, compromise comes with it. When you respect your partner, you want to make them happy, and compromise is a part of that. A relationship is about finding happiness with another person. For both people to have that, compromise is one of the most important things in a relationship.

You have to be willing to give a little and meet your partner halfway.

If your needs are always met and not theirs, or vice versa, the relationship will eventually crumble and fall apart. You need to be willing to meet one another halfway to make things last. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you’re left out]

4. Communication

In order to successfully take care of the most important things in a relationship, take the time to communicate. You cannot assume you know what your partner is thinking and vice versa. Without open and honest communication, you will never be on the same page. If that happens, things can go awry quickly.

Miscommunication is the most common problem in any relationship, so you can’t take this lightly.

Talk about things, express your feelings, and most important, never invalidate one another. That’s how to practice effective communication with your partner. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

5. Humor

As serious as many of the most important things in a relationship are, a significant part of maintaining any relationship is a great sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at yourselves, you are living in dull and unhappy feelings.

You know the key to a lot of lasting relationships? When you spend your days laughing with one another and enjoying your humor. Especially when you share the same humor, the relationship will never get boring.

Laughter is not just the best medicine but also the best way to enhance a relationship. [Read: The 12 types of humor and how each of them affect a relationship]

6. Openness

We all have our own opinions, but you cannot expect your partner to always agree with you when you’re in a relationship. Being able to open your mind to your partner’s views is a significant part of making a relationship work. This also means letting yourself be vulnerable and open around them.

You don’t have to say everything, but you need to open up the important aspects of yourself. You do not need to change your mind. But be open enough to accept how you and your partner differ, not just what you have in common.

This is also why your partner should also be your best friend, to make things even more natural to open up. When they’re your best friend, you can talk about anything and everything. [Read: 15 sweet gestures that express love without words]

7. Intimacy

Intimacy can mean sex to some. To others, it may mean closeness, and to some, it may mean chemistry. Whatever it means to you, it is one of the most important things in a relationship, whether you like it or not. Without intimacy, a relationship becomes a friendship.

That isn’t to say that friendship is bad, but too much of it will make you both lose chemistry in the relationship. So there needs to be a perfect balance of both friendship and intimacy as they’re some of the essential things in a relationship. [Read: 12 easy ways to keep intimacy alive in a relationship]

8. Independence

You may be surprised to be reading this. No healthy relationship can survive without independence. If two people depend solely on each other for happiness, they are doomed. You should be able to focus on yourself and your job or interests.

There’s nothing healthy about codependent relationships as they can quickly turn into a toxic or sabotaging relationship. Of course, there’s also something wrong with being overly independent, so try to balance needing your partner and standing on your own feet.

Be independent without not neglecting them in the process. One of the most important things in a relationship is that your partner adds to your already happy life, not that they are your happy life. [Read: Are you codependent? 14 signs you’re clingy and overstepping boundaries]

9. Safety

Safety and security in a relationship may not be what you need as a teenager. Once you are looking for a lasting bond, you want to know you can depend on them in good times and bad. You both need to feel secure in your relationship to make things work.

You want to know not only that you’re physically safe but also that your heart is safe. When you feel at home in their arms and the same goes for them, that’s a relationship with great potential. You should be one another’s peace as there is already so much chaos in this world. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy & in love]

10. Goals

When you want a relationship that will make it through the long haul, one of the most important things is that your future goals line up. So many people hope that their partner will change what they want down the line. If you don’t want the same things out of life now, you may never.

If someone doesn’t have the same goals as you, this will be a significant problem in the long run.

So sharing similar goals is so important in a relationship if you want to make things work. For instance, if you both don’t share the goal of marriage or kids, that will be a deal-breaker further in the line. [Read: 15 real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]

11. Love

Obviously, this should be a pretty evident one in this list of essential things in a relationship. Without love, the rest of it won’t feel how it should and how you want it to. You should have lots and lots of love for your partner if you’re going to make it last.

Love is the core foundation of your relationship because if you don’t love one another, what else is the point? Love is one of the core foundations to make a relationship work and last. [Read: The 20 feelings that best describe what true love feels like]

12. Friendship

The best feeling in the world is being in a relationship with your best friend and eventually marrying them. Even if they weren’t your best friend before you dated them, it doesn’t mean you can’t build a friendship in the relationship.

If anything, relationships with the foundation of friendship prove to last much longer.

So don’t underestimate the role friendship can play when it comes to the important things in a relationship. They shouldn’t just be your partner, but also your best friend! [Read: What makes a good friend – 15 traits we desperately seek in a friend]

13. Forgiveness

Your relationship will never withstand the storms if you both can’t forgive one another consistently. Obviously, we’re not referring to disastrous situations where you shouldn’t be so fast to forgive them – like abuse, cheating, betrayal, or manipulation.

But when it comes to petty fights, such as them forgetting to say they love you or not being able to pick you up after work, you need to forgive them. If you hold a grudge for every fight you have, your relationship will not last very long. [Read: How to forgive someone – 15 positive ways to unburden your mind]

14. Patience

Both forgiveness and patience, are similar to one another in the sense that it takes a lot of energy to keep understanding your partner. Patience is such a valuable trait, which is why it’s one of the most important things in a relationship.

Without patience, it will be easy just to walk away from the relationship entirely or keep holding grudges against them. Be patient whenever a miscommunication happens or when you’re not on the same page right now. Be patient when they’re mad at you because they’re sometimes just trying to avoid saying hurtful things to you.

Really, patience is that vital. [Read: Love is patient love is kind – 14 rules to experience true love]

15. Commitment

Of course, this shouldn’t even be a question by now. Commitment is the aspect that makes you choose your partner, for better or worse. Do you want to know the secret to long-lasting relationships? You need to choose one another every day.

Love isn’t just a feeling, but it’s a constant decision to love them, even when it’s not convenient in the moment *yes, even more so in arguments*.

You can’t just commit only when you feel like it, but commit to them constantly. Commitment is also the thing that encourages you to stay loyal and faithful to your partner. [Read: What is commitment in a relationship & how to know if you have it?]

16. Empathy

Without empathy, it will be hard to understand your partner and see things from your point of view. So for instance, if they’re upset and you don’t understand where their anger is coming from, put yourself in their shoes for a moment and have empathy. If you were in their shoes, would you also be angry?

Empathy is one of the important things in a relationship that people often forget. Without empathy, it’s incredibly easy to invalidate one another’s feelings – and when there’s invalidation, there’s miscommunication. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

17. Values

The saying opposites attract might apply to some, but it doesn’t go for values. Similar to sharing similar goals, if you have conflicting values with your partner, your relationship will eventually crash and burn. One of you will be expected to compromise for the other all the time, and that’s just not fair for the partner who’s losing out.

So it’s only natural that sharing similar core values is one of the important things in a relationship you should never ignore. That is if you want to last a lifetime together

[Read: 12 ways you can be a high value woman he’ll never want to leave]

How to take care of the most important things in a relationship

None of the vital aspects of a relationship come easily. You should work on them and nurture them for a relationship to successfully last. Just because you have trust, love, and intimacy, doesn’t mean it will last if you don’t work on it.

You need to constantly choose your partner and your relationship if you want to last a lifetime. Communication is the only way to ensure you have all the other essentials in a relationship. If you can’t talk about your future, your independence, or security with your partner, you’ll never be able to work on it.

You may hope this all comes naturally to you and your partner, but talking about the most important things in a relationship is vital to know where you and your partner are, mentally and physically.

[Read: Long term relationship advice to transform your love life]

As long as you and your partner know the most important things in a relationship, you can work on them. Don’t be complacent, continue to love your partner, and the rest will follow. 

The post 17 Most Important Things in a Relationship that Hold It Together is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Ask Your Crush Out: 15 Steps to Be Brave, Confident & Cool

If you want to know how to ask your crush out and impress them, all you need to do is focus on a few things to completely turn the odds in your favor!

Asking anyone out is tough, but learning how to ask your crush out will make nerves run even higher. This is someone you have feelings for, whether these are serious feelings or admiration. It’s one of the most nervous things to do, especially when you really like them and hope they say yes! *you’re probably sweating a bit as well*

You try to build up the nerve to ask them out but when you’re around them, the time doesn’t seem right or you just lose the courage. This is a universal problem. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this problem.

In fact, all of us have been through this, and it’s normal to feel this way. Even people with high levels of confidence struggle when it comes to knowing how to ask a crush out!

[Read: How to approach your crush – The steps you need to take to impress them]

Why figuring out how to ask your crush out is so hard

On the surface, it sounds like asking your crush out should be easy or at least straightforward enough. But, the thing about asking out your crush is that you are revealing your secretive, innermost feelings to them.

You’re literally putting yourself out there and taking a chance on them, hoping they say yes to a date with you. And that’s a lot of risk!

Of course, you like them, so there’s always a fear of rejection or worse looming in the shadows. What if you embarrass yourself in front of them? But, if you don’t take that risk and let your feelings show, how will you ever know what would have happened? You cannot live your life in constant fear of rejection or awkwardness.

It’s not or never, so better take that chance while you still can. No matter the outcome, knowing how to ask your crush out will build up your self-esteem and help you live your life fully.

But if you want to increase the odds of your crush dating you, you really need to know how to hang out with your crush. Use this feature on how to talk to your crush and the secrets to make them fall for you and make sure you’ve built a really good connection already. Just doing that will up the odds of your crush liking you back by a hundredfold!

Why is it important to learn how to ask your crush out the right way?

It’s not a life or death kind of thing, but it’s definitely going to help your dating life. By knowing how to ask them out, you’re opening yourself up to many possibilities! It doesn’t matter whether they said yes or no; what matters is you tried your best. You’ll never know if they feel the same if you never took the chance, right?

This way, you’ll never look back and regret the chances you failed to take because of that fear. What if they like you back, but you never had the skill or courage to ask them out?

That’s a date you’re completely missing out on. Think of the possibilities that could happen if you just took the leap of faith. [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying “yes”]

How to ask your crush out in a cool and relaxed way

Before learning how to ask your crush out, you have to try to get over the fear and anxiety that goes with it. Of course, your heart is going to beat faster and you’re going to fumble on a few words! You do not have power through those emotions or ignore it.

Rather, take that fear and form it into a reminder that taking this chance is worth it no matter what happens. Once you pass that bridge, you should find it easy going forward. 

Here, we’ll go through the steps you need to take to finally ask your crush out in person. But remember, if you want to be successful, don’t just walk up to your crush and blurt out that you like them. It may work, but bigger chances are, your crush would be surprised and the first thing they’ll say *more out of awkwardness or shock* is that they don’t see you in that way!

You don’t want to make that mistake, do you?

Always make your intentions clear from the very beginning. And as much as you possibly can, flirt with them now and then, and always leave them wondering if you have more than just friends in mind.

If you do this right, everything just gets way easier and in all probability, your crush may even be waiting for you to ask them out! Use these 22 steps to drop the right hints and get your crush to like you back before you even think of pouring your heart out to them in person.

Once you’ve used the guides and you’ve dropped all the right hints, follow these steps on how to ask your crush out, and chances are, they’ll say “yes” to you even before you finish your sentence!

1. Befriend your crush – but don’t get friend-zoned

It’s much more nerve-wracking to ask a complete stranger who you’re admiring from afar than to ask your crush who’s also your friend. It’s important to build some form of connection with them before even asking them out in the first place.

It reduces your anxiety and nervousness, and it can also increase your chances of them saying yes. Just make sure not to wait too late in asking them out, or you might get stuck in the friend zone! [Read: How to escape the friend zone – 13 actions that make you desirable]

2. Breathe

It’s so crazy how something that literally comes so naturally to us can just be completely forgotten due to nerves. Don’t forget to breathe! Your crush is just as human as you, and it’s just like you’re talking to another person. How else are you going to successfully ask them out if your anxiety is over the roof?

Right before approaching your crush to ask them out, take a deep breath in and out. The more oxygen in your brain, the better it will all go. [Read: How not to be nervous – 18 easy ways to eliminate nerves before a big move]

3. Get a pep talk

Even with the realization that asking out your crush is a bold move that you should make, we can still second guess ourselves. Give yourself a pep talk to boost your ego and confidence before talking to your crush. Remind yourself that you look good, that you’re a decent human being, that you’re funny, and about all your other best traits.

Or, you can also have a friend hype you up and remind you of the best things about yourself. They’ll let you know you can take a few minutes to ask out your crush, and they’ll say yes. If your crush turns you down, you will survive and move on like a champ! Never underestimate the power of a good pep talk from a good friend. [Read: How to welcome positive energy and vibes into your life]

4. Remain calm

Calmness is a very attractive trait on someone, so you need to stay as calm and collected as possible. You can’t show who you really are if you’re awkward and anxious while asking them out. Although we all have jitters, remaining calm for those few minutes is important.

Showing too many nerves can make you look unsure. Confidence is always an attractive trait and even if you don’t feel confident, just fake it till you feel it. All you need are a few moments of bravery and you could have a first date around the corner. Being calm is how to ask your crush out in the best way possible. 

5. Be specific

When you are nervous to ask your crush out, you may end up being subtle and ambiguous about it. Be specific about the dates in hanging out if you want to know how to ask your crush out. Otherwise, they might not even be aware you’re asking them out on a date, especially if you’re using the words “chill” or “hang out.”

Without nailing down a time and place during the initial ask-out, things tend to get canceled or postponed. If you really want this date to happen, suggest a specific date idea. [Read: What you need to do when you like a friend and want to ask them out without risking the friendship]

6. Be direct

Don’t beat around the bush, or get vague when you ask them out. If you don’t tell them you’re interested in them romantically, they could get the wrong idea. As scary as this feels, you need to put your feelings out there.

This is your one shot to get it right, and avoid planting yourself in someone’s friendzone for life. So it’s okay if they turn you down for now, but don’t trap yourself by mumbling or changing your plan midway. [Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

7. Read the situation

Are they slouching while crossing their arms? Did they smile when they saw you approaching? Do they have a nervous smile? Or are they genuinely in a good mood? You do not want to ask out someone that is not in the right state of mind, and sometimes reading the unspoken parts of a situation is what is needed.

If they’re in a bad mood, maybe reschedule the asking out for later when they’re in a better mood. You don’t want to risk getting rejected just because it’s a bad day for them.

8. Use humor and wit

You really don’t need to be all that serious when asking them out on a date. Even if your emotions are all over the place, you can inject humor and keep it lighthearted instead of deep and uneasy.

In fact, they’ll appreciate this since you’re making them laugh with whatever joke or cheesy pick-up line you come up with. [Read: How to be funny and make people absolutely love your company]

9. Own your feelings

Don’t ever second guess yourself. You can work up the guts to approach your crush with plans to ask them out, but then fall back. You may try to act as if their response means nothing to you. You’re allowed to show your feelings, regardless if they say yes or not.

If they say yes, don’t be afraid to show your joy around them. If not, you don’t have to take back your offer. Own the way you feel.

10. Make sure they’re alone

The right circumstance is really everything when you’re asking someone out. It may seem easier to ask them out when they’re distracted with friends, or when you just walk into them in the hallway, because there’s less pressure on you and it’s easier to just blurt your feelings out. But don’t.

Don’t be sneaky. Asking someone out is not about slipping a date in, it doesn’t work that way. They have to listen to what you want to say, and give you their answer after a bit of thought.

Try to get some alone time with each other, and veer the conversation towards a date when no one’s around. That’s your window of opportunity to talk to them and muster the courage to ask them out! [Read: 50 really cute things to say to your crush and make them feel special]

11. Avoid technology

Texting and social media may be some of the most common ways to ask your crush out nowadays, but there is a lack of connection.

Of course, if you’re really scared to do it in person, you can ask them out over a text. But if you can, always try to do it in person. You’ll be able to read their body language, and see the way they respond to you. By asking your crush out in person, you can be sure it’s not just a pity date or something they’re doing because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Granted that it’s easier to take rejections over text, but asking someone in person always makes you appear way more confident, and more importantly, there’s a connection that comes with communicating your interest in person. It may seem scarier than sending a text, but it’s also more rewarding! [Read: How to ask someone out over text and get that satisfying yes]

12. Make a plan

Have a date planned in your mind. You don’t have to have reservations, but you need at least a rough plan. Remember what we mentioned about being specific and direct? The same applies to planning a date. It has to be well-thought of and absolutely not rushed.

Take time to think about what they like and dislike *if you already know*, and take things from there. Having a plan lets you be prepared and less nervous. If they do say yes, you need to share a plan immediately and let them know when you’d like to meet them and what you have in mind to do together so you can “seal the deal” instead of leaving it hanging. *leaving plans for later can increase the chances of someone flaking on you!*

13. Be flexible

Okay, we did say that you need to put yourself out there, and be specific with the date. But if your crush tells you they’re busy on that particular day and drops a line like “…maybe some other time,” don’t hesitate.

Your crush may be trying to brush you off and reject you without saying it, or they may genuinely be busy. So come up with a suggestion for another day. This gives you the clarity you need, and lets them know you’re genuinely interested in them.

If they decline the new day you suggest as well, or don’t really answer with a yes or a no, it probably means they’re not into you or they need more time to consider it. Drop the conversation, and talk about something else, don’t be pushy.

If they are interested in a date with you, they’ll let you know over the next few days. But for now, just accept this as a rejection and don’t ever bring up the topic of a date with them again, unless you want to be branded as pushy and clingy.

14. Reward yourself

No matter if your crush accepted your date or not, you should be proud of yourself! This is always something worth celebrating.

It’s a big step for your confidence and your dating future, after all. There’s something to be said about your bravery and courage the moment you successfully manage to ask your crush out.

Knowing you have the ability and courage to ask your crush out can give you a huge boost in confidence, and that confidence will translate into every other part of your life as well. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your own breakups and rejections]

15. Respect their answer

No matter their response or excuse, just respect it and move forward. Now you know whether or not they are interested, you can move forward. Resenting them or being bitter will just prove their answer further and that they were right to say no to you.

Be mature and collected in accepting their rejection and move on. It’s easier said than done, but you must respect their answer. Don’t insult them, or take back your date offer just because they say they don’t see you a certain way, that’s childish and totally immature as well! [Read: How to respond to rejection and do the right thing]

So, how to ask your crush out?

You may feel like your heart is skipping a beat in your throat, but no matter what their answer, asking a crush out after setting the right foundation is very rewarding in many ways.

However you see it, you either get a date or the satisfying feeling that you conquered your fear of rejection!

[Read: How to tell your crush you like them – The 20 best low-risk methods that really work]

Use this guide on how to ask your crush out, and if you follow all the steps to the tee, chances are, your crush will say yes to you! But even if it goes the other way, you would have learned an important life skill as well!

The post How to Ask Your Crush Out: 15 Steps to Be Brave, Confident & Cool is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Is He Hiding Something? 20 Signs He Feels Guilty for Hurting You

Guys do all kinds of things where they may not intend to hurt you. Do you know the signs he feels guilty for hurting you? Keep reading to find out!

We’ve all been hurt by a guy and it is far from a pleasant experience. Whether he lied, cheated, or let you down, being hurt by the guy you care about sucks. And at some point in time, you’d wonder if he knows he hurt you, or if there are any signs you can read to know he feels guilty for hurting you.

It doesn’t matter what they did – heartbreak is heartbreak. He hurt you, so why should you care if he feels guilty or not? Well, looking for the signs he feels guilty can clue you in on whether or not he has something to feel guilty about in the first place.

His behavior can tell you if he actually has some form of remorse over something he did to you. If he feels guilty for hurting you or even cheating on you, he may not say sorry, but he might actually be trying to earn your trust back!

[Read: How to make someone feel guilty and understand the pain they caused you]

How is he hurting you?

Guys are not as simplistic as stereotypes make them out to be. Oftentimes, they are just as complicated as girls are, they just may not show in the same way. They can hurt you in many ways, but the worst kind is the betrayal you never see coming.

Especially if you think he’s cheating on you and it’s not something you think he would do in a million years, it can hurt like hell. This is why it’s important to know the signs he feels guilty for hurting you. If you aren’t catching him in the act, you can still try to read his behavior and find out if there’s some kind of guilt weighing him down.

Guilt is a pretty powerful emotion, which makes it a great place to start finding out whether he is intentionally hurting you and deceiving you. [Read: 14 ways to confront different types of liars in your life]

What’s the connection between guilt and betrayal?

When someone actively betrays you, it’s highly likely for them to feel guilt or remorse. Just like when you do something that you weren’t supposed to do, the same goes for them. So in looking for signs he feels guilty for hurting you, watch out for any behavior that might seem unusual or suspicious.

If he wasn’t that sweet to you before and he’s now showering you with affection, you should start thinking. He’s not having a change of heart like you thought – he might be guilty!

Guilt is such a strong emotion and he isn’t likely to keep that to himself, no matter how hard he tries. The guilt will show through his actions and behavior, so watch carefully so you don’t miss any of the signs.

[Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

The clearest signs he feels guilty for hurting you

If he hurt you and feels bad about it, he may feel like he owes you. In that case, he will go out of his way to make you happy *more so than usual* until he feels enough time has passed that the pain has diminished. [Read: How to deal with guilt & drop the baggage weighing you down]

Maybe he walks on eggshells or tries obsessively to please you. He won’t want to bring it up or talk about whatever he did because he hopes you will forget about it. 

On the other hand, if he’s done something bad and now he feels uncomfortable being around you because of all that guilt, he may lash out in other ways. He may be ruder, he may pick more fights, etc. just to get you to hate him a little bit so he can convince himself that he did something bad because you’re a “bad” partner too!

Let’s take a look at the subtle and not-so-subtle signs he feels guilty for hurting you, whether you know about it or not.

[Read: Is your boyfriend hurting you emotionally? How to respond without reacting]

1. He buys you gifts

A telltale sign a guy is feeling guilty for something he knows will hurt you is buying you gifts out of the blue. Yes, he may just be a nice guy, but if this is out of the ordinary and you have been getting a weird vibe, don’t overlook it. If he isn’t the type of guy who buys you gifts generally, then this is an obvious one.

Of course, don’t go overboard with accusations just because he bought you a gift. This sign needs to be matched with other signs to confirm that he really is guilty about something.

If he’s being a hopeless romantic all of a sudden and he’s never been like that throughout the course of your relationship, it’s time to start wondering about his motives. [Read: 25 early warning signs you have a bad boyfriend on your hands]

2. He starts fights because he feels like he deserves to be yelled at

This is sort of a psychological sign, but a sign nonetheless. He purposely starts fights because he feels he deserves it for what he did to you. Here’s the thing, men really don’t start fights *who in their sane mind would want a fight?*.

So if you see him start fights even about the little things, especially those that never bothered him previously, this can be a sign of guilt. He may want to feel like he is being punished so that the guilt isn’t so strong.

If he gets away with what he’s doing, his conscience will torture him unless he is punished for it.  [Read: 16 reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean and rude]

3. He may act like the victim in every situation

He acts as if everything he does is for you, and when something doesn’t work out, he blames everyone else. He acts like his downfalls are due to his selflessness. This is a classic manipulative move you often see in gaslighting to make you feel sorry for him or to reverse the situation.

He may act as if he’s the “nice guy.” He may even refer to himself as such. But if he can’t admit he is wrong or that he made a selfish mistake, he may be feeling guilty. This is the type of guy who justifies cheating by saying things like “I didn’t cheat because she kissed me!” [Read: How to help a selfish boyfriend change and help him find the balance]

4. He makes promises

The empty promise is something women since the beginning of time have dealt with. He may promise you the world when he is in deep with his guilt. Words are very easy to spout by someone who has intentionally betrayed your trust, so they make up for it through false reassurances and promises. Just like his actions, his words aren’t something you should hold on to.

This is one of the classic signs he feels guilty for hurting you. He may promise to take you on a vacation, go to see your favorite play, or even make future plans that he has no intention of keeping, so his guilt can be pushed down for the time being.

5. His confidence is failing

If the situation was reversed, wouldn’t you feel guilty for betraying and hurting someone you love? A guy who is lying and hurting the girl he is with does not have confidence. He might even come across as full of himself, but deep down he is a scared little boy.

Don’t just watch out for his insecurities showing, but watch out for over-the-top arrogance. He might seem like the most confident man, but it’s the exact opposite.

6. He says he doesn’t deserve you

Ahhh yes, the classic line and the biggest sign he feels guilty for hurting you ever! The line “I don’t deserve you” never gets old. Now, why would a cheater or someone who hurt you say something like this? Because he feels guilty.

He knows what he is doing is wrong, so instead of doing the right thing, he simply says something like this to make you feel like he truly loves and idolizes you rather than accept that he is secretly hurting you.

The only reason he would say he doesn’t deserve you rather than doing the action to actually deserve you is that he already hurt you, and it’s too late for redemption. [Read: 20 veiled signs your boyfriend is cheating on you already]

7. He avoids the topic in question

Guilt is a strong emotion, and facing it head-on is a scary thing.

So if you question him about that girl from work, where he was the other night, or why there is money missing from your joint account, he will change the subject as fast as possible. It’s one of the common signs he feels guilty for hurting you.

8. He’s overly honest

The opposite of avoiding the topic in question is being overly honest and direct. While he is feeling guilty for lying about one thing, he will be extremely honest about everything else.

He will describe his day with intricate details. He will make a big deal about honesty and having open communication in the relationship. This is because he thinks this kind of honesty for everything else except his betrayal is enough to compensate for what he did. And of course, convince you that he’s a good boyfriend who would never hurt you! [Read: Is he lying? What to ask a guy if you think he’s hiding the truth]

9. He avoids you

The eyes really are the window to the soul, so if he actively avoids you and can’t look at you, there’s a reason for this. If he avoids spending time with you or can’t look you in the eye when you are together, he is almost definitely keeping something from you.

Now, this could be a secret surprise like a proposal, but if you aren’t there yet, he may be hurting you. Why else would he shy away from something as intimate as eye contact with you, his girlfriend?!

10. He’s private and secretive about some things only

Partners who are hiding something are very secretive with their phones and personal life. Maybe they change their social media passwords, phone lock, and have very limited photos on their phone for fear that they can be used as evidence. They’re paranoid that way.

If your boyfriend has become really private about something specific like his Instagram account or his Whatsapp, especially when he never used to hide them before, then start wondering why that may be the case. Some guys who hurt you even go to the extent of saying they hid a lie so they wouldn’t hurt you!

If he goes to great lengths to keep some things secretive, but at the same time, he’s extremely open about everything else, he’s trying to pretend he’s an open book *while he secretly hides a few pages from it!*. [Read: Why do men lie? Understanding the way men lie and why they do it]

11. He gets defensive

Being defensive is one of the obvious signs he’s hiding something or that he feels guilty for hurting you. He may even throw it back at you. If you question him about coming home late every night this week, he may throw it back by questioning why you don’t trust him when he has “technically” given you no reason to.

Another classic manipulative move that works best in making you question your own suspicions and sanity. The worst part is that you might even believe him.

12. He questions you

Is he acting suspicious of your behavior? Often, when someone is cheating or lying, they think their partner is doing the same. If he is capable of hurting you, he thinks you must be capable of the same.

Why else would he be questioning your motives now when it’s him who did the betraying? If you find him skeptical of your intentions and actions, then he might be hiding his guilt!

[Read: 13 giveaways to tell if someone is lying to your face]

13. He might gain or lose weight from stress

Didn’t you know that guilt is so powerful it can affect even your physical appearance? It depends on how long he’s been carrying that guilt, but the stress of guilt and kept secrets can really take a toll on someone.

So if you notice on top of some of these other signs that his appetite has changed or his weight has noticeably changed, he could be feeling guilty. He might be stress eating or not in the mood to eat more often than lately.

14. He wants you to catch him

We know what you’re thinking – if he cheated on you, why would he want you to catch him? This is for those who can no longer contain their guilt, and it’s consuming them day and night. The only way out of this nightmare is for you to find out what they did so it can be over, once and for all.

For this to happen, they’ll leave subtle clues for you to find out. Maybe they will leave their phone out or leave their laptop unlocked, or even leave a sketchy receipt in their pocket.

15. He’s quieter than usual

If your boyfriend’s rather talkative and social, and you find he’s more of a loner and thinker lately, he might be guilty about something. Of course, this could also be a sign of stress, or maybe he’s going through something personal.

However, when this matches with the other signs he feels guilty for hurting you, then there you have it. [Read: Recognizing the physical and emotional signs of a guilty conscience]

16. He keeps asking if you’re okay for no real reason

It’s normal to ask someone you love if they’re okay. But people who’ve cheated or betrayed you will do this more than usual because they already crossed the line and did the deed.

They want to see if you know what they did, or maybe they just want to attempt to make things better by asking this question. Whether their concern is genuine or not, it doesn’t matter. This is another classic sign of guilt and remorse.

17. He’s more present than usual

Only you would know who your boyfriend is, including his behavior and actions. If he seems different, such as being more present in your life and actually wanting to spend more time with you, then you need to wonder just for a minute if there’s any specific reason for his affectionate ways. Did he do something wrong and he’s guilty? Does he know he hurt you and now he’s trying to make it up to you?

Especially if he rarely does this for you, then it could be his guilt acting up. [Read: How to rebuild trust after even the worst type of betrayal]

18. He can’t sleep at night

Guilt will rob you of any joy and peace you have, especially at night. If he cheated on you, then there’s a big chance he won’t be able to sleep peacefully at night.

You might feel him tossing and turning, or maybe he gets in and out of bed constantly, even at wee hours. This might also be signs of stress and anxiety, but it could also be guilt!

19. He plays the victim

Remember what we said earlier about signs of manipulation and gaslighting? Victims of cheaters know that this is one of the classic signs he feels guilty for hurting you.

Even if he knows he was the one who betrayed you and went behind your back, he’ll do everything in his power to make you feel like you’re at fault. This is one of the worst signs on this list but a very common sign of a guilty cheating partner. [Read: How to spot gaslighting in a relationship & shut it down for good]

20. He admits it to release the guilt

And then there are some guys that feel guilty for hurting you, and can’t hold it in anymore, so they come clean. It just depends if they are doing it to apologize and move on, to release themselves from the guilt, or because they know you’ll catch them very soon.

Whatever the reason, if he knows he hurt you, and he’s guilty about it, chances are, he’ll come clean and try to repair the relationship.

[Read: How to forgive a cheater – 8 questions to face the betrayal]

So, what are the signs he feels guilty for hurting you?

Watch out for classic gaslighting moves such as playing the victim, buying you gifts, being too much of a romantic, or even incessantly questioning you. These are all classic signs that your boyfriend might be betraying you and cheating on you!

There are many signs he feels guilty for hurting you. You know him the most, so pay close attention to his body language, facial expressions, behavior, and actions. If you notice a sudden change in his behavior, they will tell whether he’s guilty or not.

The post Is He Hiding Something? 20 Signs He Feels Guilty for Hurting You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Rapport-Breaking Pattern Interrupts

A fun little way to break conversation patterns… and get women to chase you. Intrigue her, interest her, and help her realize there are mysteries about you to uncover.

Just a small little tactic today:

Pattern interrupts you can use to break rapport.

How To Impress Your Crush: 25 Tips to Steal Their Heart Effortlessly

Do you want to know how to impress your crush and win their heart? It’s easy really, you just need to catch their eye and know how to stand out!

If you want to know how to impress your crush, it’s really a no-brainer. As cliche as this sounds, all you need is to stay true to yourself. You might be nervous or shy, but don’t just keep pining over them forever. Instead, do something that catches their attention. 

For starters, you shouldn’t try too hard or appear too smitten or clingy. Keep that in mind, and with a little effort, you’d see that there are lots of ways you can impress your crush naturally without trying too hard. 

[Read: How to act cool in front of your crush and grab their attention]

How to impress your crush while being you

No matter what method you take to impress your crush, stay true to yourself. If it works out and you start dating, you want your crush to know the real you, not a figment of your imagination. It’s going to be hard to force a relationship with them if, from the start, you pretended to be someone you weren’t.

Authenticity and honesty are the keys to knowing how to impress your crush. As long as you remain true to who you really are, you’ll find that it’s easier to get someone to like you. After all, faking it is hard work, and it’s even harder to keep up with the act! 

Why should you learn how to impress your crush?

Really, who wouldn’t want to impress that one person they have eyes for? We’re sure anyone would jump at the idea of impressing their crush and turning things in their favor.

Impressing your crush is something you’re going to have to learn, if you really want to land a date with this incredible person you admire and increase your chances of dating them. A bonus is that when you develop your skills of making your crush notice you better, you also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

This can do wonders for your dating life and can help you with your confidence all through the rest of your life as well!

The main problem, or more likely, where most people go wrong while trying to impress a crush, is that they start to think with their heart instead of their head.

If you want to impress someone you like, you can’t pounce on them or suffocate them with your affection. You need to take it easy, play it cool, and try to be as laid back as you possibly can *hard, we know!*.

If they feel like you’re literally throwing yourself at them, they’re just not going to find you interesting or even likable! [Read: How to get your crush to notice you and start liking you back – The subtle moves]

How to impress your crush

Even with your newfound confidence, you may still be lost looking for a way into your crush’s atmosphere. If you’ve tried everything and can’t seem to find the answers on how to impress your crush, keep reading to learn what you need to do.

Firstly, have you spoken to your crush yet? Do they know you exist? If you haven’t talked yet, read these steps on how to approach your crush, get noticed and impress them all at once before you move on.

And secondly, if you’d just started talking to your crush or have been introduced, use this complete guide on how to start talking to your crush and all the secrets you must know to make them fall for you.

Once you’ve mastered the first two steps in the features we’ve shared above, you’re ready for the next stage to impress your crush. Remember these tips the next time you have a conversation with them, and you’ll see just how easy it can be to impress and woo your crush!

1. Show off

Yes, no one likes a show-off, but impressing your crush with your mad skills will surely curve their interest. You don’t need to be particularly arrogant, but you can use your strengths and best assets to your advantage.

Maybe you have some talents and skills you can use to get them to notice you or have a flair for the arts. You can use that to impress your crush and you never know, that could lead from one thing to another! [Read: 35 easy tips to impress anyone and charm them instantly]

2. Make them laugh

Whether you’re the jokester of your friend group or not, being funny is a key way to impress your crush. Use your personal kind of humor, whether that’s sarcasm, pickup lines, one-liners, or telling them an actual joke that would make them laugh.

You know what they say, right? If you make them laugh, you might just get them to fall for you. Not only will this put a smile on your crush’s face, but it will show your ability to laugh at yourself and have a good time. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

3. Talk about your passions

People’s eyes always sparkle and shine when talking about the things they love. Hearing someone rave about their family, show you pictures of their pet, or even talk about their job or goals in life is so impressive. Don’t shy away from talking about any of these, even if you think they won’t understand it.

Gushing about your passions is just one of the many ways on how to impress your crush. And if your crush is worth the time, they will see how strongly you feel about the important things in your life.

4. Ask for their advice

Looking for a new book to read? Need help with homework or a work project? You can even ask for their help with a home improvement project. They’ll definitely notice you with this move and don’t worry, it doesn’t make you look weak asking for help!

Asking for your crush’s help will not only make them feel needed, but also important and trusted. The fact that you are confiding in them for help means you see them as a good person. [Read: The damsel in distress and why men find they so irresistibly attractive]

5. Show you’re open

In today’s day and age, there is nothing more attractive than someone who is open and tolerant. And there is no bigger turn-off than someone close-minded. If you want to know how to impress your crush, then the best way is to show your openness.

Have a discussion about feminism, the pay gap, or any current topics that you are passionate about. You can bring up Pride month or mention your support of refugees in America. 

6. Be polite

Obviously, you’re going to be nice to your crush, but showing that you’re actually a kind person to everyone around you is sure to impress. It’s such a big turn-off when someone’s just nice to you but rude to others, which is why showing your nice side will impress your crush.

Obviously, don’t be fake about it, but show that you genuinely care for others. Be mindful of those around you, tip well, be respectful to service employees, and your crush will see what a great person you are in no time. [Read: Here is how you can grow into a better person]

7. Listen

If you’re wondering how to impress your crush, then empathy goes a long way. Put your listening skills to the test and just listen to them when they’re saying something. This also means not interrupting their sentences and not listening just to think of your response – that’s just plain selfish, and they’ll be able to tell.

Ask insightful questions that prove you were listening and repeat things later. If your crush mentioned they have a little brother whose birthday is coming up, ask them, so what are you getting Tommy for his birthday? 

This will go a long way in impressing your crush, we promise. [Read: How to be interesting and become the heart of any conversation]

8. Ask questions

Questions are one of the most engaging things in a conversation that you can also use on your crush. Whether you are at a party or on a date, ask questions about them. This shifts the topic of the conversation from you to them.

Rather than talking all about yourself *which can come off selfish*, questions allow a mutual exchange of conversation. Don’t make the questions too deep and serious, but you want to keep it casual, light, and fun *unless they’re into serious questions, of course!* [Read: 75 flirty and fun questions to ask your crush and make them think of you often]

9. Try something new

Showing your crush you are willing to make a fool of yourself or try something you’ve never done before is impressive. That does not mean going bungee jumping or skydiving unless that’s your thing. Be willing to expand your horizons and do something out of your comfort zone.

Maybe it’s going cliff diving, rock climbing, or even conquering your fear of heights by riding that rollercoaster! This is indeed one of the best ways to impress your crush. Having someone take a risk to spend time with you is seriously impressive. [Read: What to talk about with your crush to keep them engaged and excited]

10. Be spontaneous

In a way, this is kind of connected to the previous tip, except this talks about spontaneity. If you’re the type who plans every detail of your life, this might be a tough one for you. Some people love a good plan, but others like to live life on the edge.

So next time you’re with your crush, steal them away and take them to a secret underground bar you know about. Go on an adventure with them and don’t plan a single thing – make it spontaneous! After all, the best adventures are those you never see coming. [Read: How to become more spontaneous in life]

11. Show your secret talent

Your crush probably knows if you’re an all-star volleyball player. But sharing your secret talent can be more impressive than you think. Maybe you have a talent for dancing they don’t know about. *in this case, feel free to amuse them on Dance Dance Revolution!*

Don’t be shy – these simple quirks and hidden talents are some of the best ways on how to impress your crush. You never know, they might even share their secret talent with you. 

12. Put in the effort

Your crush has to know you like them, you can’t keep it a complete secret. But of course, the best way to let them wonder is by bring friendly, but crossing the boundary of friendship now and then, very subtly!

Compliment your crush sometimes, touch them occasionally while saying something, it’s all in the little details. If you can make your crush wonder if you like them, instead of making it blatantly obvious, you’d be doing a really good job at piquing their interest and getting them to like you, all at once! [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease without being weird]

13. Stay positive

Don’t get down on yourself if your crush has yet to show signs that they are reciprocating your feelings. You can still impress your crush. There’s always a light at the end of every tunnel, not to mention, this kind of negativity really isn’t a positive trait in impressing your crush.

If anything, it pushes them away from you. We all have off days, but showing your crush that you have a positive outlook will impress them. [Read: 15 easy ways to flirt with your crush and make them flirt back with you]

14. Show interest

You impress your crush by showing your amazing self, but don’t forget to show your interest in them! This should be pretty obvious, but a lot of people actually forget this part.

It’s easy to focus on the impressing part without actually showing the slightest bit of interest in them *thus why it’s easy to keep talking about ourselves*. Ask them about their hobbies and their likes and dislikes. Be truly interested in them, and don’t be afraid to show it. [Read: How to subtly hint and let your crush know you like them – 20 very low-risk methods]

15. Give space

Don’t overcrowd your crush. Don’t double text or suffocate them *figuratively*. We’re not saying you should play hard to get, but showing that you’re an independent person that doesn’t crave attention is impressive. Even if you like them, be your own person and don’t push yourself to them to the point that it’s suffocating.

If you really want to know how to impress your crush, take your time to impress your crush. [Read: 13 ways to avoid being a stage 5 clinger who pushes people away]

16. Small surprises can make their day

If you’re wondering how to impress your crush, text them in the middle of the day to bring them their favorite Starbucks at work. Or next time you hang out, bring some donuts from the place they said they have been dying to try. These are small acts of affection, but it’s bound to surprise them and bring a smile to their face!

This all goes back to our earlier suggestion about empathy; that you listened enough to know what they like and don’t like. It is a pretty great feeling when someone goes the extra mile for you, don’t you think? [Read: 50 cute things to say to your crush and make them feel really special]

17. Show your quirky side

When you are crushing on someone, your first reflex might be to hide your most quirky parts. But you should also know your quirks, with the right person, are something they’ll appreciate and love about you. In fact, your crush might even find them cute, so stop hiding them.

We are our worst critics, so it’s easy to hate our flaws, but expressing them instead of hiding them is one of the best ways to stand out and impress your crush. 

18. Open up

Show that you are willing to be vulnerable. That doesn’t mean cry on your crush’s shoulder, but don’t hold back either! Did you deal with bullying in school? Are your parents divorced? These might be intense, but deep conversations are the best way to connect with someone and get them to trust you.

Of course, don’t go into a deep conversation if you just started talking with them. But if you know each other quite well, it’s a great place to start. [Read: How to get someone to open up so you can really connect]

19. Pay attention

Just as they may be impressed or intrigued by your little quirks, notice theirs. Do they twirl their hair when they blush? Do they bite their lip when deep in thought? Paying attention to their quirks would make them feel understood and noticed, and what better way to impress your crush than by really noticing them and getting to know them better.

This lets you know them better and gives you more opportunities to prove that you like them beyond the surface. [Read: 15 subtle clues to tell if your crush likes you back for sure]

20. Be authentic

There’s no way you can successfully impress your crush by being someone you’re not. They’ll see right through you and even if you manage to pull that off, you’ll eventually get tired of pretending, and they’ll see your true colors.

It’s better to show who you are from the start rather than wasting all your energy pretending to be someone else. If they’re the right person, they’ll love you for who you are. [Read: How to play it cool and win over your crush]

21. Act and dress presentable

Having an impact on your crush is both a mix of your physique and behavior. If you want to know how to impress your crush, then you need to act and dress presentable. This doesn’t mean you should be prim and proper all the time, but act put together and collected at least.

Don’t be afraid to wear your best clothes and feel your most confident self when you’re around your crush. [Read: How to dress to impress a girl & get more than just a second glance]

22. Laugh at their jokes

It isn’t just you that needs to make the laughing, but you need to acknowledge their jokes as well! Okay, maybe don’t force a laugh with all of their jokes, but at least try to give a genuine laugh.

All the better if their joke was actually funny! This gives them an assurance that you have a shared sense of humor and find the same things funny as them. 

23. Flirt a little

How else will you subtly let them know that you like them if you don’t flirt with them? Flirting is one of the best tips on how to impress your crush. Maybe it’s through a cheesy pickup line or maybe give them a simple flirty compliment.

Just drop these little flirty lines to let them know that you’re into them *and let’s hope they feel the same by now as well!* [Read: How to flirt with girls – 25 secrets to help you win her over]

24. Spend quality time with them

The best way to develop a real connection is by getting to know them. How else can you know them if you aren’t going to spend time with them?

Don’t hesitate to spend time with them to build a real connection with them. Maybe grab coffee with them or go with them to run errands. Any form of together time is still quality time! 

25. Be bold

Last, but certainly not least, is to simply tell your crush how you feel. It’s scary, but that’s what makes it so effective. Even if you’re scared of the potential rejection, what matters is that you were brave enough to try!

Taking the risk of being rejected is bold and confident, and proves what you’re willing to do what it takes to get the chance at possibly being with this person.

There’s always something to be said about people who were brave enough to wear their hearts on their sleeves, even with the possibility of getting hurt. 

[Read: How to tell someone you like them over text – 19 risk-free ways]

So, how to impress your crush?

If you really want to impress your crush, then just be yourself. It all comes down to something as simple as being authentic and honest with who you are.

And of course, subtly letting them know you like them without ever telling them directly, at least not until you’ve made a great impression on them!

[Read: How to get your crush to like you – 22 ways to make them fall hard!]

Now you never have to worry about how to impress your crush again. As long as you follow these tips, your crush is guaranteed to notice you and like you back in no time! 

The post How To Impress Your Crush: 25 Tips to Steal Their Heart Effortlessly is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Double Texting: What It Is, How to Avoid It & 15 Must-Follow Rules

Double texting screams clingy when you text someone new. What is double texting, and how can you look cool instead of clingy and needy? Find out here!

Okay, let’s admit it. All of us double text almost all the time! But is it as bad as many people claim it is? Of course, not. We double text and triple text and multiple text loads of gossip and information with our friends. *almost every day!*

You don’t really care when you take your phone out of your pocket and see 10 notifications from a close friend. In fact, you may be excited by it or even laugh with anticipation!

Where double texting actually becomes an issue is specifically in the initial stages of getting to know someone – more precisely, in the hookup and dating world.

Weird, isn’t it? That just sending someone two text bubbles in a row makes you clingy or needy? That’s a bit much, to be honest, but it’s the new truth. Double texting is simply not acceptable these days, but then again, what is a double text, and what exactly defines it, and what’s acceptable and what’s not? Ah, the tricky questions!

We’ll get to all of this right here, and by the time you’re done reading this feature, you’ll never make a double texting faux pas ever again!

[Read: Being left on read – What it really means if someone doesn’t text you back]

What is double texting?

Double texting is a texting rule where you aren’t supposed to send two or more text messages to someone before you receive a text back from them.

Generally, the thought behind this is that someone who texts multiple times without receiving a response text first does this because they’re clingy and needy, and don’t have the social decency to give the other person some time to respond to their text in the first place.

But that doesn’t really explain anything, does it?! It just leaves us with more questions!

How long should you wait? Is it double texting if you say “Hi” in one text and ask a question “what are you doing?” in the next text? When does a relationship cross the point of double texting where you can send 10 texts in a row without being branded as clingy?

Let’s take a deeper look into double texting, and understand it better so you never look clingy again!

[Read: Am I texting too much? The clearest signs you’re turning into a clingy texter]

The Golden Rule of double texting – What are the signs you’re doing it?

There’s a golden rule of double texts? Yes, there is! And if you can remember this one single rule, you’ll be able to tell if a text is a double text, or two texts sent one after the other.

Do you text someone and ask them a question, and then, text them again later with a “?” or some other question that is literally the exact same question as the first question?

If you’re texting someone because you feel “ignored” by them, big chances are, you’re double texting.

Are you texting someone the next morning because they didn’t respond to you the earlier night? That’s double texting as well.

Simply put, the golden rule of double texting is this – If you’re texting someone with the excuse to get them to respond to your first message, that clearly is double texting!

That’s about it. If you’re honestly texting them about something else, that’s not double texting. But then again, if you’re texting them something completely different in the hope that they’ll text you back instead of ignoring you, that’s double texting again. [Read: The rules of texting – The 15 unwritten rules you always need to remember]

Read the room! If you think someone’s not answering your text, and you’re still texting them, that’s just needy. And that IS double texting.

Double texting is basically a person’s attempt to hide the fact that they want another person to respond with urgency. It doesn’t matter if you’re sending a meme, sending a message to them on another social media app, or just about anything else. If you text someone with the intention of getting them to text you back sooner, that is a double text.

Remember this – the biggest sign of double texting is when someone doesn’t respond to you *5 minutes or five days, it makes no difference*, and you continue to pester them with more texts in the hope of getting a response.

Just don’t. You don’t look cool or extra-friendly. You just look annoying and pathetic!

The short texts rule – Can you send multiple texts at once?

Before we get to more rules of double texts below, let’s take a look at this conundrum. Is it a double text if you send multiple texts as part of one conversation while waiting for an answer? One word – No. That’s not double texting. BUT try to restrict yourself to a few texts at once, not 10 texts in one go. That would be a bit much for a new friendship or relationship.

No one likes reading big paragraphs of text, it looks scary and kind of intimidating as well! So it’s a lot easier *and nicer* to break a big paragraph of text into a few smaller text bubbles. It looks neater and is easier to read. But really, try to restrict it to a few text bubbles.

If you have something longer to say, give them a summary in one text *a couple of lines*, and send a voice message after that to explain it in detail. That way, they get the gist of what you want to tell them in their notifications and they can decide to text you when they can. [Read: How to get to know someone over text and build a real connection]

The 24 hour double texting rule – How long should you wait for a response?

Ah, another tricky issue! How long should you ideally wait before you text someone again at the risk of it looking like a double text? This depends on you, the person you’ve texted, and any other unexpected situations.

Generally, it’s expected that anyone who does intend to text you back should text you back within a couple of hours. The two-hour wait gives anyone enough time to complete whatever it is they’re doing. So two hours, and you should have received a response.

But it’s always ideal to give someone 24 hours to respond to a text. Why 24 hours? Because that’s the magic number and time by when every single person on earth will some kind of have access to a phone, even if there’s a death in a family. [Read: How to stop texting someone when that’s all you want to do]

The double texting rule of letting go

If someone chooses not to respond to you even after 24 hours, it’s pretty clear they don’t want to respond to you. So what does that mean? It means you need to evaluate your current relationship with them and ask yourself if a double text is worth it!

1. Is it a good friend?

If it’s a good friend and they haven’t responded to you, chances are, they’re not feeling great about themselves, or they just want some alone time. They will respond when they’re feeling more perky and up for a new conversation, and you can pick up on the conversation from there.

But if you’re concerned about them, you can text them again after 24 hours and ask them what’s up or give them a call. But chances are, they wouldn’t be too happy to get another text from you. *because that would only stress them out more!* [Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing much to say]

2. Is it someone new?

What if it’s someone you just started dating, or someone you met online, or even a new friend? What then? If it’s someone you don’t know well, put your phone aside and walk away.

Don’t send a double text to someone who is clearly ignoring you, and doesn’t care about hurting your feelings. They probably don’t like you, and if you do send them another text, they’d only roll their eyes and brand you as clingy. Take the hint, and walk away. [Read: 20 signs you’re being ghosted or on the verge of being ghosted by someone]

If you do want to text them because you’re angry and bitter, you can text them three days later, and probably tell them goodbye as well. That’s not a double text, that’s you taking control and telling goodbye.

BUT again, this will not make you look good. It makes it very obvious that you’re hurt by them ghosting you, and you’re clearly still pining over them. Chances are, they don’t care about you, and your text will only leave them with a smirk or a laugh. Why would you want to give someone a laugh at the cost of your pain?

So what’s the best thing you need to do here? Put your phone down, complain about it to a good friend, or just keep yourself busy. Do not text them ever again if someone you recently met doesn’t text you back even after 24 hours. [Read: Guys who ghost and then text again – How should you respond to these people?]

When can you start double texting someone?

The simple answer – When you trust them. If this is someone you know well, or hang out with often in real life, go blow their phone up with a hundred memes, texts, and voice messages. They won’t care. They may laugh or call you crazy, but they still love you and it’s all in good jest.

Of course, the real question is, why would you blow someone’s phone up with a hundred texts in the first place. Do you really have nothing better to do? But all said and done, if you’re close to someone and both of you know each other very well, it’s completely fine to call them out if they don’t text you back soon. [Read: When your best friend ignores you – The why’s and the best ways to fix it]

Why should you learn all the basic rules of double texting?

Unless you seriously want to turn off your crush or seem too eager, we highly suggest following the basic rules of double texting. You’ll scare them off from texting you ever again *who wants to text with someone who floods your inbox, after all?*

The importance of following through with the rules of double texting is so that there’s a mutual exchange of conversation and you don’t end up pushing them off. If you ignore these basic rules and just follow through with what you want, then your dating life will go downhill.

A lot of conversations initially happen over text before getting to that first date, and that’s totally normal. How else are you going to get to know someone better? But just don’t cross the line from cute to clingy by ignoring these double text rules.

The basic rules of double texting when you’re texting someone new

You don’t send a whole bunch of texts and get nothing back. Unless your goal is to make them never text you again, you should follow these basic rules. Trust us, you’ll thank us for these rules later on. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy flirting]

1. Never have your line of text more than theirs

If you have a paragraph and their answer is one word, then you are coming on way too strong. Of course, you’re really anticipating them to text back or at least speed up in their texting game, but you need to calm down a bit. Keep it simple and do your best to match the number of lines and text bubbles they send.

Otherwise, it’s going to be seen as too eager and clingy. Keep it simple stupid, is your mantra until you get to a phase in your relationship where the games have ended, and you won their heart. [Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and get them interested in you]

2. Never text back before you get an answer

It’s so difficult to text someone and then sit and wait for their response. What a lot of people don’t tell you is that the wait is all part of the game, so you don’t end up overwhelming them or scaring them away with your double texting.

If you text them once, you can’t text them again, until they return your text message, even if it’s just an emoji.

Stop the excuses of sending them another text and claiming it was sent accidentally – everyone knows these games, and they’ll absolutely see right through you. A response is grounds for a reply. No response is grounds for, well, no response. [Read: The accidental text on purpose – When to use this and when you must avoid it]

3. If you haven’t gotten an answer, wait

It’s common to assume that maybe they didn’t get your message or they missed the notification, so you send another text again. Don’t do that.

If you really are interested in this person, then you have to control yourself and wait until they give you an answer, any answer. We assure you, they did receive the message, and maybe they’re just busy or doing something else.

It would be best if you waited for their text instead of flooding their inbox with more text messages. You could come up with a million excuses to double text them – maybe the internet was down and your iMessage didn’t go through, maybe they read your text and were about to text back when they got a call and forgot all about it, and whatever else… No, stop it!

If you were important enough and they were as into you as you are into them, then they would not have “forgotten” or would text to see why you haven’t texted them. [Read: Why did he stop texting me? 13 rules you should follow]

4. Don’t text late at night or at an off-hour

If you text late at night when you’re not sure if they’ll read it, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Texting them late at night will just leave you anxiety-ridden and angry. Did they read it? Are they going to see it? Will they respond to you?

If you want to increase the likelihood that they will text you back quickly, and you can have a real conversation, try to pick a time of day when they won’t be busy or distracted. Remember, if you want the conversation to be engaging and continuous, then don’t text them at an off-hour. [Read: The texting and follow-up guide after a great first date]

5. Ask a question if you want an answer

If you want to get an answer, then don’t be vague. Sometimes when you text someone something completely meaningless and vague, they aren’t sure if they are supposed to answer it or if it’s just some information that you are sending.

You want to make sure that your texts have a clear question if you expect an answer. Don’t confuse them with your texts. If you are going to send a meme or a picture of something you saw that was funny, make sure to include a caption that indicates you are expecting some sort of answer like “what do you think?”

That way, they know that you are looking for a response. [Read: She didn’t text back? 20 reasons why and what to do next]

6. Keep the texting going by asking easy and fun questions instead of getting too serious

There’s no denying the fact that deep questions help you develop a connection with someone. But since we’re texting here, deep is not easy, so stick to light and easy questions first. You can always ask them more profound questions when you go on a date. But until then, stick to easy questions with quick answers if you want to avoid double texting.

When you come on too strong or hit a nerve, the other person can simply put their phone down and walk away leaving you with a text hanging that doesn’t get answered. From there, you can’t text anymore, and it’s like being stuck in the mud.

If you want to avoid double texting, make them want to engage by not getting too serious.[Read: How often should you text someone? 17 must-know rules of texting]

7. How long have you been dating?

When it comes to the rules of double texting, you need to consider how long you’ve been dating. Obviously, you wouldn’t risk double texting someone you just started dating, as you’ll likely scare them off! However, there is one loophole in double texting you should consider, and that’s only if you’ve dated them for a considerable period of time – say at least three months.

If you’ve already been texting and dating for months and you have a real connection, then you won’t scare them off with double texting. It’s really all about how close your relationship has grown.

The only reason why double texting is frowned upon is because it’s not something you should do when you just start seeing someone. No matter how much you like them, resist the urge to do so. [Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush really interested]

8. What are they usually doing at the time you texted them?

Another thing you should take note of when you’re tempted to double text is the time you texted them. If you texted in the middle of the day, which is usually when people are often working or busy with something, then you can’t expect a response right away.

People often text or glance at their phones whenever they have some free time – often in the mornings and evenings. Always take note of the time you text them before sending a text, unless you want to slip into double texting territory. [Read: Should I text her or wait? What to know before you pick up your phone]

9. Do you feel a connection?

Let’s talk about feelings and gut instinct for this one. You might not realize this, but they may already be ghosting you. If you feel like there’s no real connection and that they aren’t as consistent in their texts anymore, they might be on the verge of ghosting you.

Before sending them another text asking them why they’re not responding, think about the fact that they might be slowly letting you know there’s just no connection, and it’s better to move on with your lives. It sucks, we know, but it does happen! [Read: Why did they suddenly lose interest in you? And what you can learn from it]

10. Don’t double text unless they do it too

Rules and standards aside, there are people who are okay with double texting, especially if they really like the person. If this is the kind of person you’re texting, then you’re okay with double texting *as long as you don’t go overboard*.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should keep double texting them all the time! Try to find the balance, but as long as they aren’t pushed away by your double texting, then you should be fine.

So, what are the rules for double texting?

To sum it up, double texting is a texting rule where you can’t text someone until or unless, they text you back. This means if they already texted once and you responded, then you shouldn’t follow up with another text.

If you ramble on, continue to send texts that go unanswered, or bombard their inbox with memes and pointless texts hoping for a response, then you are going to run the risk of irritating them and turning them off. Remember, don’t appear way more eager than they are.

[Read: Texting before the first date – 15 best ways to start things off]

The key rule of double texting is to never text someone more than they text you. That is if you don’t want to seem too eager to clingy. As long as you follow these rules above, you should be golden!

The post Double Texting: What It Is, How to Avoid It & 15 Must-Follow Rules is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.