Commitment under lockdown is tricky. How do you know that commitment will hold if/when lockdown finally lifts?
Hey guys. Welcome back.
As the lockdown continues, many of you are finding refuge in relationships. You meet a girl, sleep with her, and, since there is nothing to do, sleep with her again. Then, when you need some female affection, you call her, and... voilá! You've got yourself a regular thing.
Knowing that, due to the current circumstances, some of you may not even be allowed to go outside (or only for a set amount of time each day) you may start finding the idea of having a “fuck buddy” appealing, or even consider going for a full-on girlfriend.
But, if we're completely honest, that f-buddy of yours has probably turned more girlfriend-like lately, hasn’t she? You see her more often, and you do more boyfriend-girlfriend things with her, so that you end up with a “couple” vibe between the two of you.
You eventually start getting a bit more emotionally attached to her than you usually would. Perhaps she is starting to get a bit more emotionally attached to you than she otherwise would.
Maybe you thought: "Now is the time to get a girlfriend."
I don't blame you! Let's see:
Clubs aren't open
Bars are closed
There are restrictions on house parties
The field is DEAD basically.
You know it's going to be much harder than usual to meet a new girl. And here you have this sweet chick bedding you well. It's got all the trappings of a sweet deal, doesn’t it?
Also, let’s face it – we're going through insecure, lonely, and emotionally draining times. We may all experience this differently, and live in distinct places with dissimilar lockdown variants.
But we all feel a bit more emotionally vulnerable; so, naturally, we seek more closeness and companionship.
Where I live you can’t go on dates, as there is a curfew at 6:00pm! What is more, the new restrictions seem to negatively affect women’s sex drives and overall state.
Women also seem to favor relationships and closeness over random hook-ups during times like these.
Let’s all cuddle up and roll in the hay non-stop until this is over!
But, is that a good idea? I'm going to discuss why I think it isn’t.
Commitment under lockdown is tricky. How do you know that commitment will hold if/when lockdown finally lifts?
Hey guys. Welcome back.
As the lockdown continues, many of you are finding refuge in relationships. You meet a girl, sleep with her, and, since there is nothing to do, sleep with her again. Then, when you need some female affection, you call her, and... voilá! You've got yourself a regular thing.
Knowing that, due to the current circumstances, some of you may not even be allowed to go outside (or only for a set amount of time each day) you may start finding the idea of having a “fuck buddy” appealing, or even consider going for a full-on girlfriend.
But, if we're completely honest, that f-buddy of yours has probably turned more girlfriend-like lately, hasn’t she? You see her more often, and you do more boyfriend-girlfriend things with her, so that you end up with a “couple” vibe between the two of you.
You eventually start getting a bit more emotionally attached to her than you usually would. Perhaps she is starting to get a bit more emotionally attached to you than she otherwise would.
Maybe you thought: "Now is the time to get a girlfriend."
I don't blame you! Let's see:
Clubs aren't open
Bars are closed
There are restrictions on house parties
The field is DEAD basically.
You know it's going to be much harder than usual to meet a new girl. And here you have this sweet chick bedding you well. It's got all the trappings of a sweet deal, doesn’t it?
Also, let’s face it – we're going through insecure, lonely, and emotionally draining times. We may all experience this differently, and live in distinct places with dissimilar lockdown variants.
But we all feel a bit more emotionally vulnerable; so, naturally, we seek more closeness and companionship.
Where I live you can’t go on dates, as there is a curfew at 6:00pm! What is more, the new restrictions seem to negatively affect women’s sex drives and overall state.
Women also seem to favor relationships and closeness over random hook-ups during times like these.
Let’s all cuddle up and roll in the hay non-stop until this is over!
But, is that a good idea? I'm going to discuss why I think it isn’t.
COVID paying havoc with your regular date nights? Staying safe is more important but here are some date night ideas during COVID to try.
While we wait for respite and a brighter day, it’s important to make light wherever you can. COVID doesn’t mean your love life has to be put on hold. Certainly, it doesn’t mean that your date nights have to be cancelled. There are many date night ideas during COVID you can tinker around with. It just means being a little creative and thinking outside of the box.
We’re living in strange times. This time last year, would you have ever dreamed that we’d be in a lockdown, wearing masks, and staying away from our loved ones to keep them safe? It’s almost like the plot from a very unpleasant movie, but unfortunately, it’s the world we’ve living in for now.
Sure, it’s not going to be the same as booking a table at your favorite restaurant or dancing ‘til dawn in your club of choice, but it’s something at least. Perhaps if nothing else, COVID will teach us the value in time spent together, rather than focusing upon the things we do or the things we buy.
There are so many people who are required to stay away from those closest to them, such as elderly parents or grandparents, so cherish every moment you spend with your partner right now and be creative with your activities.
If you’re totally out of ideas in terms of date night ideas during COVID, your luck is in. Here are 12 suggestions you might like to try. Why not adopt two per week and really mix up your quarantine date nights? You might find a new activity you want to adopt over the long-term!
Remember, it’s about spending time together. While you might not choose to do these things during the normal life, that doesn’t mean you can’t put expectations aside and focus on creating new and special memories.
How many of these date night ideas during COVID will you try?
#1 Movie night in the garden. Some communities are having drive-in movie nights. If you can find one of those, definitely go for it. If not, why not make your own? All you need is a large projector and these are pretty easy to find online, although if the weather is dry, you could take your TV outside.
Simply grab some blankets, throw some fairy lights around the garden and find some large cushions to make yourselves comfortable. Choose your movie of choice and cuddle up under the stars with some snacks and perhaps a bottle of your favorite tipple. Romance indeed! [Read: The 11 best date night movies and put your partner in a good mood]
#2 Wine tasting at home. Many couples love to go wine tasting. While it’s difficult to do right now, create your own mini version at home.
Simply purchase a wine tasting kit online, or even a few mini bottles of wine you’ve never tried before. Next, create a cheese board or a snack bowl, and pretend you’re in a vineyard! Some vineyards are even hosting virtual events which you play along with at home. It might be something you’d like to try as one of the date night ideas during COVID too. [Read: Could dealing with a pandemic bring you closer to your partner?]
#3 Do a spot of mixology. You don’t have to go to a club or a fancy bar to enjoy some cocktails! You simply need to buy a few ingredients from the supermarket, check out some cocktail recipes online, and away you go!
Either make them ahead of time and enjoy in a virtual bar at home, or mix them together and see what you can create. Throw on some tunes and you’ll feel like you’re in your favorite club!
#4 Take your partner to dinner, at home. While dining out might not be possible right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t take the opportunity to hone your cookery skills at home. Plan a full four-course menu, go shopping and grab all the ingredients you need, send your partner home for the day, instructing them to return at a set time, and get to work.
Create a mock-restaurant setting, play around with presentation and make it look as professional as possible. Of course, don’t forget the ambient music. Who needs restaurants? [Read: How to make cooking with your partner more fun]
#5 Have a romantic picnic in the park. Date nights don’t always have to be at night, they can be afternoon deals too. Why not head to the local park and enjoy a posh picnic, full of your favorite snacks and a bottle of fizz to make it all the more special. Don’t forget a blanket to sit on and prepare your meal beforehand. As long as you’re socially distanced from anyone around you, you’re good to go! [Read: The best romantic and yet intimate date ideas for two]
#6 Make a takeaway special. There is no reason why the most basic of ideas can’t be made into something special. When coming up with date night ideas during COVID, be creative!
Simply order your partner’s favorite takeaway. Then, create a romantic environment with candles, music, and a bottle of wine. The easiest things are sometimes the best!
#7 A spot of stargazing. This one depends upon the weather and a clear sky. But if you do manage to get both at the same time, why not grab a blanket, head outside, and enjoy a spot of romantic stargazing together? Throw in some cushions for extra comfort and cuddle up in the garden as you look out for shooting stars. Don’t forget to make a wish!
#8 Have a board game night. Who doesn’t love an old-school board game every now and again? We’re so computer-focused these days that we’ve forgotten about all the fun we used to have with Monopoly and other classic games.
Choose one or two games you both enjoy, open a bottle of wine and spend the time engaged in some friendly competition. You could always finish up with a game of Twister if you’re feeling energetic! [Read: Want a really fun date night? Try these drinking games for two]
#9 Hire a hot tub. Everyone deserves a little luxury from time to time. Why not make the most of your time at home and enjoy a hot tub evening? You can hire hot tubs widely these days. While they’re in demand at the moment due to everyone staying home, do some research and get booking!
All you need is your swimming gear, fresh towels, drinks, and you’re good to go. What better way to spend your date night? It’s super relaxing too!
#10 Try garden camping. If you can go camping in the countryside, go for it. If not, why not set up a tent in your garden and have a pretend camping expedition? The fact you’re a few feet from your home is just something you need to ignore. Cuddling up in a tent under the stars is a fun way to bond and something you’ll never forget!
Date night ideas during COVID don’t have to be boring, they can be as special as you make them. It’s all about perspective.
#11 Try a living room disco. Clubs are out of the question right now but that doesn’t mean you can’t make your own. Consider the neighbors with the noise, but other than that, you’re good to go! Get yourselves dressed up for a night in the club, have some drinks ready in the fridge, choose your playlist on Spotify, move the sofa, and get dancing.
#12 A long romantic walk in the countryside. We all need a little fresh air and exercise. Why not combine those two things with your date afternoon? It doesn’t have to take place at night to be romantic!
Wrap up in some warm clothes, grab a flask of tea or coffee, and head out into the countryside for a long walk. Take some cute selfies as you go and breathe in that fresh air. You’ll be chilled out and ready for tired cuddles when you return home.
You feel something isn’t right between you. He isn’t returning your texts and acting distant. These are some signs he doesn’t care about the relationship.
At the beginning of your relationship, things were going really well. Your boyfriend would text you during the day and call you to see how you’re doing. But things slowly changed. Maybe it didn’t happen all at once, but at some moment, you realized that things are off. They’re not the same as they used to be, and you’re experiencing some signs he doesn’t care about the relationship.
You probably haven’t said anything just yet. Right now, you’re keeping your eyes open, and trying to see what’s going on without confronting the issue. And though that’s not a horrible move, it’s not making things easier for you. Don’t you want to know what’s going on?
You eventually need to confront your partner before you feel worse. Not knowing what’s going on in your relationship isn’t fair. He’s not the only one involved. So, you need to make the first step and voice your concerns. Hopefully, he tells you how he truly feels so you can decide your next move.
The issues could be simpler than you think, or they could be much more than what you think. The point is you need to figure out what’s going on.
So, if you want to put the pieces of the puzzle together before you talk to him, then do it. Take a look at these signs and see if he cares about the relationship or not. It’s better to see the signs he doesn’t care about the relationship now.
#1 You feel something is off. This is an important must in the signs he doesn’t care about the relationship! We all have intuition, and I’m a big advocate of listening to your gut instinct. Most of us ignore our gut instinct because it usually goes against what we want.
But listen, you know if something is off; you feel it. If you think something is wrong in your relationship, then the odds are something is wrong. Don’t doubt your feelings; they’re usually right. [Read: How to follow your gut instinct with these tried and true methods]
#2 It’s all your fault. When you talk to him about your feelings or the relationship, he seems to flip the conversation, putting the blame on you. Now, this isn’t to say you’re an angel in the relationship; everyone plays a role.
But, you’re not to blame for everything. If he’s avoiding taking responsibility for his actions, then he doesn’t care about you or the relationship.
#3 He doesn’t consider your feelings. Whether it’s deciding where to eat or what movie you will watch, he makes all the decisions. It’s not that you don’t have an opinion, you do, and you share it, but he simply ignores what you suggest.
#4 He dismisses your feelings. Maybe you tried to bring up this conversation before, and if he cared, he would have respectfully listened to you and engaged in a conversation about how you’re feeling.
But, he’s not. Instead, he sighs or walks away from you, uninterested in even touching the subject. Now, that’s not a good sign of a man who cares about the relationship.
#5 He doesn’t try to get to know you. When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal for couples to have deep conversations to get to know each other. But your boyfriend doesn’t ask anything about you. He’s not curious to know what you’re interested in or what you’re doing in life. Well, you know that’s suspicious, right? If he’s not trying to get to know you, then what is your relationship? [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]
#6 You two don’t do “coupley” things. It’s normal for couples to go to the movies, eat out at restaurants, or even grab a coffee together. But you don’t really do anything. He may come over to hang out and watch Netflix, and vice versa, but other than that, you don’t go on any dates. If he’s not interested in going out with you, that’s weird. Why wouldn’t he want to go on dates? [Read: Why you should never make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them]
#7 You’re emotionally drained in this relationship. We all have rough patches in our relationships where we’re emotionally exhausted, but this shouldn’t be a continuous feeling. When you’re next to him, you shouldn’t be feeling this constant heaviness and anxiety about the relationship. If you feel this, then it’s a good sign this relationship isn’t for you.
#8 He’s not present when you talk. Okay, naturally, there are some conversations we all zone out in, but to a limit. If he’s always texting while you’re talking or not engaging in the conversation, then, what’s the point?
#9 You make all the moves. Whether it’s hanging out or going to the movies, you seem to be making all the plans. If you don’t call, he’s never the one to make the first move. What? Is this even happening? If this is a normal part of your relationship, you need to know this is not normal. A relationship is a two-way street, and he isn’t meeting you halfway.
#10 He doesn’t help you out. I’m not talking about financial help as one of the signs he doesn’t care about the relationship. Maybe you need help carrying the groceries inside the house or you missed your bus and need a ride to work.
These are small favors that anyone would do for someone they cared about. But, he always seems to be unable to help you out when you need it the most. This is a strong sign he doesn’t care. [Read: 33 traits of a good boyfriend you should always look for]
#11 He’s actively pursuing other women. Come on! You know this isn’t a good sign. If he’s swiping through Tinder or texting with other women, he doesn’t care about your relationship.
#12 You haven’t met any of his close friends and family. When it comes to his personal life, you don’t really know much about him. He doesn’t introduce you to any of his friends or family. Now, I can understand not meeting his family yet, but his friends? Come on.
If he’s keeping you completely separate from his personal life, that’s because he doesn’t want you in it.
#13 He only wants sex. Now, sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship, but it is a crucial component. When a guy isn’t interested in the relationship anymore, he will either do one of two things: continue having sex with you or stop completely. He will distance himself emotionally, but try to shift the relationship into a sex-only one. [Read: The signs he just wants sex and is only using you for his enjoyment]
#14 Or… he’s avoiding sex. This is also another option. Since he no longer cares about the relationship, he stops having sex with you. Once a guy stops having sex with you, he’s out. It’s now only a matter of time before he says something to you.
#15 There’s no talk of the future. When it comes to the future, the only plans you have is twenty minutes from now. Other than that, there is no conversation between you about the future. And you know why? Because he doesn’t want a future with you. Yes, it stings. But, the truth hurts.
After looking at the signs he doesn’t care about the relationship, what are your thoughts? Put the pieces of the puzzle together and decide for yourself.
Once upon a time, people love to write love letters to each other. Now, these love letters have transitioned into flirty texts which in a way can be defined as…
Dating is a weird yet wonderful experience. But if you don’t know the rules of dating, how can you be sure that you’re heading for success?
The rules of dating are a little ‘love it or hate it.’ Few people actually sit on the fence on this one. Most either find dating thrilling and exciting or dread it and find the whole thing dramatic and confusing.
What’s your take on it?
Personally, I detest dating. That might sound a little harsh, but while I like the first meeting side of it, anything after that I just find to be completely confusing and full of mind games that I have no time to play. Play hard to get, don’t play hard to get, wait three days before replying, there are so many rumors on what you should do, it’s just downright mind-fuddling!
I often wish it was possible to meet someone, decide you like them, skip the confusing part and jump straight to the part where you know where you stand and everything is great. However, I totally appreciate that some people enjoy dating. In fact they actively go out there and participate. If that’s your take, good for you. You’re obviously more patient than I am!
Admittedly, dating can be fun if you’re not too emotionally invested. That’s probably where I’ve always gone wrong. However, there has to be rules of dating in some ways, otherwise everyone would offend everyone and cause chaos. But, what are they? And, how seriously do we need to take them?
It really comes down to common decency and being honest with one another. Far too many people assume the rules of dating means playing games and making the whole situation ten times more confusing than it really needs to be.
When you break dating down to its most basic level, surely it’s just getting to know someone and deciding whether you would like to take things further or not? The dating part isn’t supposed to be serious or committed, it’s meant to be fun and flirtatious. That’s the part I like. When it turns into game playing central, I’m out.
Perhaps that’s one of the biggest rules of dating, or at least it should be – no playing games.
Do you have your own personal rules of dating? Maybe you refuse to call first, maybe you wait an hour before replying to a text, maybe you never kiss on the first date, or you avoid being intimate for the first three or four dates. It’s personal on so many levels. Maybe everyone has their own set of dating rules they abide by to keep themselves sane!
The best rule to have is to not take it too seriously and to go into the date with an open mind. Don’t be clingy or assume that you’ve met ‘the one.’ Just have fun. That’s the best way to approach dating, don’t you agree?
Why do we even need rules of dating in the first place? Surely something that’s meant to be fun should be rule-free?
Well, they’re not actual rules. They’re more like unspoken guidelines that ensure decency and respect for the other person. It’s about being a good person and not wasting the other person’s time for the sake of it.
When you don’t have these rules, or at least guidelines, how are you supposed to know whether the person you’re going on a date with is actually decent or not? It’s how we measure whether or not a date went well, or whether the person you’re loosely dating is actually worth the long-haul or not. [Read: 15 signs they’re not interested in a second date and you’re wasting time]
For instance, if you go on several dates with someone and they’re always on their phone, you’re probably going to deduce they’re not the most suitable candidate for further dates. However, if we didn’t have these unspoken rules of dating in place, you might overlook it and continue to waste your time.
Put simply, rules of dating might not be set in stone, but they give us a point of reference. In the confusing world of dating, that’s pretty important!
The 10 unspoken dating rules and dating etiquette everyone must follow
#1 Always be on time. Ah, this is a big one! If your date is always late, it’s disrespectful and not the best start. It’s normal to run late once and apologize for it. But if you’re dating someone and they’re always late or always coming up with excuses about the traffic and other creative explanations, it’s probably time to just put this one down to experience and move on. It’s not a cute quirk, it’s annoying.
#2 Put your phone away. Always be present in the moment. If you’re on a date and you’re on your phone constantly or you’re regularly checking it, you’re not paying attention to the person you’re with.
Flip this around and consider how you would feel if the moment your date sat down, they took their phone out and put it beside them, checking their social media notifications every five seconds. You’d be annoyed, right?
Again, it’s down to respect. If they don’t find your company more absorbing than their phone, it’s never going to work. One of the biggest rules of dating is to keep your phone in your pocket until the date is over. [Read: Texting etiquette and 20 unwritten rules of flirty texts]
#3 Don’t have an agenda. Don’t go into a date with a specific aim. Dating is supposed to be fun, and it’s not going to free and easy if you have a final aim. It just puts pressure on the whole thing and neither of you are going to enjoy yourselves.
Don’t go into a date expecting sex, and don’t go into a date expecting it to be the start of some grand love affair or the first step towards marriage. Just go into it hoping to have a great time and see where it goes from there. [Read: 18 signs your dare really likes you on your first date]
#4 Give them a chance. How many times have you heard “never judge a book by its cover?” This is a prime example. If this person isn’t your normal “type,” forget that and just give them a chance. If you’ve heard something about this person and you’re not sure what to think about it, again, give them a chance.
Also remember that some people find dating very nerve-wracking. Overlook a few nerves and allow them feel comfortable enough to allow their true self to shine through. Just give them a chance! [Read: How to find love and learn to be open to what life has to offer]
#5 Go somewhere you can talk. The single worst place you can choose for a date is a noisy environment where you can’t hear yourselves think, let alone talk. That means nightclubs and loud bars are a huge no-no. If you’re going to see a band, make sure there is plenty of time before and after for chatting. Consider meeting up beforehand for drinks, so you can fit in a little pre-gig chatting.
#6 Don’t splash your date all over social media. Please don’t share with your followers that you’re about to go on a date and then update them afterwards. If you really want to share the deets, do so with your closest friends on your WhatsApp group, not all over Instagram and Facebook!
#7 If you don’t want what they want, tell them so. It’s vital that when you’re dating, you’re upfront and honest with whoever you’re seeing about what you want. This doesn’t mean sitting down on date one and telling them that you’re never going to get married or you’ve decided that having children just isn’t for you.
However, it does mean letting them know if you’re really not up for a relationship right now, or you’re only looking for flirty fun. Don’t waste someone’s time by making them think that you’re ready for a relationship when it’s not even on your radar. [Read: 16 biggest signs you’re just not ready for a serious relationship yet]
#8 Don’t talk about exes. The worst thing you can do on a date is sit down and talk about your ex and why you split, or what was wrong with them. It’s even worse to sit down and talk about what was so right about your ex!
Basically, let it go. It’s in the past and that’s where it needs to stay. Your date doesn’t need to hear about it. It makes you look like you’re not over it, and you would no doubt hate it if they did the same. Out of all the rules of dating, please stick to this one!
#9 If you’re going to get physical, always be safe. If you decide to take things to an intimate level, always be safe. You’re not in a committed relationship. You’ve not been checked out and you might be seeing other people at the same time. That means the two of you are potentially putting the other one at risk. Just be safe, it’s not hard to do! [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way possible]
#10 Forget tradition but don’t be tight. Forget the “who should pay” deal and simply go with the flow. This is something which causes all manner of anxiety, but there’s really no need. There are no rules here – the guy doesn’t have to pay, the person who suggested the date doesn’t have to pay, you don’t have to go halves.
You just do whatever feels comfortable on the day. It’s nice to offer to go halves, but if you want to pay, go for it. If they want to pay and you’re fine with it, let them.
These rules of dating basically come down to dating etiquette. Perhaps that’s all these rules are – guidelines that we should probably think about following if we just want to be decent. And of course, have a really good date!
Commitment under lockdown is tricky. How do you know that commitment will hold if/when lockdown finally lifts?
