20 Very Real Soulmate Signs You’ve Met the One Destined for You

Whether you’re single or taken, it’s hard to know if the person you like is the one. Use these soulmate signs and let them guide you to your true love.

When you feel like you’ve met “the one,” it’s still hard to be entirely sure. So what are the soulmate signs that show you’ve met the love of your life?

Whether you believe in soulmates or not, it’s what we’re all looking for at heart, isn’t it? Your perfect match, your other self – your soulmate. The one who can read you like a book even when you’re sealed shut.

We hear about this kind of match-up all the time in songs and cinema, two souls who are meant to be together in life and in love and who often, against all the odds, are led by fate to find each other.

But we meet people all the time who we’re romantically interested in, and we never enter a relationship thinking that the other person is definitely NOT the one we’re meant to be with. So how are we supposed to know? What giveaway signs might show us that this person is indeed our soulmate and life love.

[Read: What are twin souls? The definitive sign you’ve found this person]

What is a soulmate really?

Everyone talks about soulmates, but does anyone even know what it means these days? You may be in search of one, but do you know the exact old-school meaning of a soulmate? Well, there are two meanings and no one living can ever tell you which one is true, or even if either of them are true. Read this article on soulmates to know what sure what it means to be a soulmate, and the different things you can do to attract them into your life.

Is there such a thing called destiny when it comes to soulmates?

Call it what you want, coincidences or destiny, but sometimes, you can’t help but wonder if there’s a reason why your partner and you were drawn towards each other. And sometimes, in the most unlikely of circumstances. You go out to meet someone else, and you accidentally meet the one you spend the rest of your life with. You bump into someone on a street, and then you see them again, and again.

These coincidences don’t have to be the soulmate signs you’re looking for. Nor does it mean that the person you’re dating isn’t your soulmate because you met in the most likely of circumstances, in the most boring way.

Life is full of coincidences and energies, and whether you choose to believe them or not, that’s up to you. But sometimes, you can’t help but wonder if there was a bigger power at play to bring you two together.

Irrespective of how you met, or how cute your meet cute story was, there are other ways and signs to know if you’ve met your soulmate and the love of your life. [Read: How to create a perfectly romantic meet cute in your life]

The most accurate signs you’ve met your soulmate

The following list of twenty soulmate signs are not comprehensive, and you probably need to be ticking at least nine or ten of them to be sure, but at least they’ll give you some idea of whether you’ve hit Cupid’s jackpot in your search for the love of your life. [Read: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

#1 You feel like you’ve been together forever. You could have known them for months, weeks, or even just days. But at some deep down subconscious level you feel like you’ve known them all your life and beyond. A surefire sign that you’ve finally found the person that you’re meant to be with.

#2 You’re always talking about them. Now there are two aspects to this. At the beginning of the relationship, you can’t stop talking about them to anyone and everyone. A sign that they’ve entered your mind and heart so pervasively that you struggle to find any other comparison quite so pleasingly perfect. You just can’t stop thinking of them.

And then, a few months into the relationship, you see a sudden shift. You think about them all the time, they’re constantly in your thoughts. But it’s not obsessive, and you don’t see the need to talk about them with others. You feel a calm sense of euphoria about being in a relationship with them. And you see no need or reason to talk about your relationship with others. You’re blissfully happy, and someone else’s opinions or their feedback makes no difference to you. You have no second thoughts, no need for validation, or proof to their love for you. [Read: Are you in love? 21 signs to decode that feeling of falling in love]

#3 Sparks fly. You can’t really put your finger on it, but every time you’re near each other, there’s an energy in the air that’s almost visible. Even the slightest touch sends jolts of chemical electricity jarring through your body. A definite sign that you’ve found your soulmate.

#4 You can tell them anything. You are entirely happy confiding in your partner, and things that you would hesitate tell your best friend just come rolling effortlessly off your tongue. Another telling soulmate sign that you’ve found the one. [Read: 15 things all couples talk about in a perfect relationship]

#5 Earlier partners fade away. It’s funny how we can go through life entirely satisfied with our partners, or at least mostly satisfied, but things never quite seem to work out. Then we meet this amazing person, and all those relationships we had before, that seemed great at the time, are revealed by comparison for how entirely uninspiring and pedestrian they actually were. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is holding you back from a much better future]

#6 You want to be better for them. Do you find yourself wanting to be a better person for your significant other, preferring to lose your bad habits and negative personality traits in order to avoid losing your love? If so then you could have found that person with whom you were truly meant to be.

#7 You trust each other. Trust is the cornerstone of all true relationships and having that in a relationship from day one, without having to be worked at in any way, is another soulmate sign.

#8 You’re great friends. Your lives fit together so effortlessly and in such a complementary fashion and as much as the sparks fly, and your hearts lift every time you see each other, you are also each other’s best friend. [Read: 10 signs you’re in love with your best friend and don’t realize it]

#9 Shared principles. You can work at compromising on your principles, but vastly differing approaches to the manner in which you both choose to live can be really quite destructive, unlike soulmates whose ethics and morals always seem to align so closely.

#10 A shared vision. Likewise, if you both have dynamically opposed perceptions of where you both want to be in ten years’ time – perceptions that are unlikely to compromise without at least a small element of resentment. Soulmates tend to have their eyes set at the same point on the horizon. [Read: 13 very strong signs your relationship is built to last]

#11 Their company fulfils you. You really feel nurtured and fulfilled simply by being with your partner, your battery charged and soul replenished. Being separated for long periods has an opposite, highly draining, effect where you feel tired and lost without them.

#12 You enjoy their flaws. What others might consider their flaws, or what you might consider flaws in others, is to you a charming part of who they are and, therefore, something you would never change. A soulmate for sure. [Read: 15 subtle rules to be a really good partner in the relationship]

#13 Talk is terrific. The conversation you have with a soulmate is always meaningful, fun or insightful. Words are never empty, even when indulging in small talk, and you never tire of anything the other has to say.

#14 No awkward silences. Perhaps an even more meaningful sign that you’ve met your soulmate is that you never actually have to say anything. Just being in each other’s presence is enough and silences are a comfortable reminder of just how much you understand and mean to each other.

#15 Instinct. There’s no real explaining this one, but at some deep level you just KNOW that the person you’re with now is the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with. [Read: How to ensure you have a long term relationship that lasts]

#16 You push each other. Seeing the potential in each other, you are never satisfied to let the other settle for anything less than the amazing future which they deserve. With gentle encouragement, and the odd necessary shove, soulmates will always support their partner’s direction.

#17 You can laugh together. Humor is a hugely underrated part of any relationship, and soulmates will always be able to laugh with and at each other with impunity – and never with any hint of offense being taken or given. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules that’ll guarantee a happy romance]

#18 You involve each other in your decisions. If you have decisions to make, no matter how big or small, and you couldn’t imagine doing so without first sharing them with your significant other, then that show of confidence, trust and love could be a sign of soulmate matching success.

#19 Synchronicity. This sign is hard to explain, but among soulmates there are often little signs, little coincidences that constantly seem to arise. You both lived at the same door number when you were kids, you both have pets with the same name, you both passed your driving test at the same time of the same year. All things that on their own mean little, but as they start to rack up seem increasingly synchronistic. Some even believe that these recurring consequences are signs from the angels.

#20 The earth moves. Good sex is by no means a sign that you are soulmates, but if you experience something that goes just a little bit deeper than any sex you’ve ever had before, that stimulates your heart and mind as much as it does your body, then that certainly may be a sign.

[Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if your love is real]

If you’ve looked down the list of soulmate signs above and have spotted a number of signs that are true of your relationship, then “Congratulations!” It looks like you have indeed found your soulmate and perfect partner for life.

The post 20 Very Real Soulmate Signs You’ve Met the One Destined for You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Keep the Seduction Setting Constant

If you take her from the setting you seduced her in to one that’s very different, you risk disrupting your seduction. Keep an eye on environments as you pull/change venues.

One of the biggest mood-killers in a seduction is when the setting changes.

Every guy who's been around the seduction block has encountered this during transitions.

You meet a girl somewhere (let's say at a bar), and the vibe is great. She's connected with you, laughing with you, the flirtation is strong. There's a strong sexual vibe.

Then you take her out of there. You go to a diner. The two of you chill. The vibe comes down.

You head out onto the street to hail a ride back together. "You know what, I'm just going to go home I think," she tells you.

You try to get her to stick around: "No, no! The car's almost here. We'll just go back for 30 minutes. It'll be a great time, I promise."

But she bails anyway.

What happened?

You know (you could feel it) that if there'd been some way to shag this girl in the bar you met her at, she would absolutely have been yours.

However, there wasn't. You tried taking her to the diner, then home, and somewhere along the way things lost steam.

This will not always happen. Sometimes you can maintain the vibe across settings.

Nevertheless, if you want to maximize your odds to get the girl, keep the setting constant.

How to Disarm Feminism in Your Girlfriend or Wife

When your girlfriend (or wife) starts bringing up feminist talking points, you need to know how to respond. Here’s how to defuse these and get your relationship back on track.

This is going to be a somewhat in-depth article, with a deep look at the full (i.e., millennia- and civilization-spanning) history of feminism.

The purpose is to give you a broad, complete, and meta-view of what feminism is, how it arises, and what its function is in a civilization, so you can break out of male-female power struggles and get the women in your life to take a sweeping historical view of feminism as part of a natural cycle, rather than a more basic/low level "Fight the patriarchy! Permanent progress for the first time ever!" view.

Before we get to the real history of feminism though, first let's talk about why you'd need to talk a girlfriend or wife out of feminist leanings.

No matter your political beliefs, it is a self-evident fact that there is a certain branch of feminism that is toxic to male-female relations.

Some feminist views are fine, and not all of it is bad. However, there is a very vocal chunk of it that is acidic to happy relationships.

Mixed Groups Pt. 2: How to Approach Them

There are two tried and tested ways to approach a mixed group. One is to wait for the opportune moment. The other? Mystery Method.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week we discussed mixed groups and the tendency guys have to immediately assume that any men interacting with girls must be part of their group, when they could have met the girls that same night.

You can’t assume all men in a club will spend the entire night idle. Some approach girls eventually (especially after binging booze — if you’re able to do the same somewhat sober you’ll enjoy a significant advantage).

In my experience, most men don’t cold approach much (unless drunk) in bars and clubs, but it still happens. Cultural differences can play a part. In some more social cultures, men walk up to talk to girls more often.

What if you happen to belong to a culture where that is not the norm? It could be that the guys with the girl you fancy know each other. But does that mean they’re part of the same group?

Being in a Relationship: How to Prepare for It After Being Single

You finally found someone you can see a future with but are now struggling with how to get used to being in a relationship. Here’s what you need to know.

I’ll bet you didn’t see that one coming. Just because you found someone you want a relationship with and they, you, doesn’t mean everything just falls into place. Being in a relationship can, at times, get very tricky even when you meet the right person.

Starting a relationship is an adjustment for anyone, especially someone who has been single for a long time. ?

You’re used to your time alone. You aren’t accustomed to checking in or worrying about someone else. And just because those things may not come naturally to you right off the bat doesn’t mean there is something wrong. 

It takes time and patience to get used to being in a relationship. Even if you feel happy and like you’re thriving, making regular plans with someone and having the energy to be around someone constantly may be out of your normal routine. 

But, with that, getting used to being in a relationship shouldn’t be stressful. It can feel that way though, if you jump into it without preparing for those changes and easing into them.

But, how do you do that? 

[Read: The biggest relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

How to get used to not being single

Some people may say that your life shouldn’t change much from being single to being in a relationship. In some ways, that is true but in others, it isn’t. 

If you plan on being a good partner, some things have to change. 

You are no longer single. Even though you probably aren’t living with your new partner, getting used to seeing them regularly, keeping in contact throughout the day, and considering them in your plans shows your respect for their place in your life. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]

Being single vs. being in a relationship – The differences you’ll instantly experience

Right now, you are probably very used to your singlehood. Just as adjusting to single life after a long relationship is hard, adjusting to having someone around when you normally don’t isn’t easy just because you like them. 

You’re used to getting all the covers in bed. You’re used to choosing what to watch, what to eat, where to go, etc. You don’t have to compromise with anyone on plans. Everything is your way because you’re only deciding for yourself. 

Whether you enjoyed being single or not, you are used to it. It is part of your routine and breaking comfortably from that isn’t going to be easy and breezy. [Read: The right way to be in a relationship after being single for a long time]

Being in a solid relationship requires commitment, energy, compromise, and mutual respect, as well as trust. 

It can be hard to go from relying only on yourself to depending on someone else’s word for your schedule and enjoyment. Will they disappoint you? Will they let you down? Will you be annoyed at them? 

Maybe. Those things happen in relationships. Preparing for that can be hard coming off of constant alone time in your grossest PJs and zit cream. 

How to prepare yourself for a real relationship

You have to remind yourself that making those changes is worth it. Maybe you don’t get to spread out fully in bed or pick your number choice restaurant for dinner but you get a companion. You get company that you enjoy. And you want to make them happy as they do, you.

Letting go of the pleasantries of singlehood can seem like a lot of adjustment at once but think about what you’re trading it for. If you want this relationship, giving up a few conveniences is worth a potential lifetime of happiness. [Read: How to be a better person in a relationship and be happier too]

Readjusting to a new normal takes time. You can’t expect to jump into a relationship and just be prepared for the changes no matter how much you want to. 

But, if you want to make a relationship work and be the best partner you can be, learning how to get used to being in a relationship is the first step. [Read: 12 healthy relationship expectations that define a good relationship]

How to get used to being in a relationship 

I first want to say congratulations on finding someone you can see a future with. That is amazing and I’m very happy for you. 

But, along with celebrating your newfound romance, you are mourning the loss of your single life. Even if you’ve been wanting to be in a relationship, there are things you’re used to that you’ll have to let go of and new things you’ll need to acclimate to. 

Here are some things, both major and minor, that can feel like a drastic change from your single life once you’re in a relationship. But don’t worry, you can handle them and it will be worth it. [Read: The most encouraging early signs of a good relationship]

#1 Amping up your wardrobe. This may not be a concern for everyone. But when you’re in a fresh relationship, you still want to impress your partner with how cute you look. You may want to have a comfy night at home watching movies but you don’t want to look like a slob. 

This doesn’t mean you need to be dolled up to cuddle on the couch. You can amp up what you’d do if you were alone with some subtle changes that make you feel more confident. 

Toss in some dry shampoo, maybe throw on some tinted lip balm and perfume, and instead of your ratty PJ’s, wear a matching set or a color that flatters you. 

These small changes shouldn’t be overwhelming but will help you feel like you’re putting in the effort to look your best. This is also only temporary for most couples. Once you’re comfortable in your new relationship and adjusted to having them around, it can be back into sweats and zit cream. [Read: The 20 cutest, most adorably awkward moments in a new relationship]

#2 Missing your shows. This again is such a minor inconvenience but with how addicted so many of us are to our fandoms, it can feel like a big loss. If you have plans with your partner to watch a movie or go out on the night your favorite show airs, you’ll have to wait to watch it and avoid spoilers. 

Sure, that’s annoying when you’re used to watching whatever you want whenever you want. But after spending quality time with your partner you won’t even think about what you’re missing. 

And who knows, you may even be able to get them interested in your favorite stuff so you can watch together.

#3 Being clean. Yes, we are all basically clean most of the time, but you’re lying if you tell me you vacuum every week, regularly clean your toilet, and have never gone more than a day without a shower. 

When you’re single, letting dust build up, having crumbs in your bed, or having greasy hair is just part of your week. But in a relationship, you want to be on your best behavior, especially at the start. 

It seems like an annoying change, but let me share some personal insight. I hate cleaning. I like organizing but hate vacuuming and dusting. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I would dread pulling out the vacuum and cleaning every time he came over. 

But my motivation to do that so he wouldn’t think I was gross actually became a norm for me. It makes me feel better about my living space and healthier too. Now even when I couldn’t see him for a lot of the pandemic, I continued maintaining that. [Read: How to change for your partner without compromising or losing who YOU are]

See? Some changes are good for the relationship and you. 

#4 Having real meals. Living alone or just eating alone means you order take out or eat waffles and ice cream for dinner. There’s no shame in that. But when your new boo is over, you probably want to make a full on meal with protein and vegetables. 

Instead of just eating whatever you want whenever you want, making that change can feel like you’re depriving yourself of treats. Instead, having a real and balanced meal with your partner brings you together, especially if you cook together.

It is also of course, healthier for your body. And no one says you can’t pig out on waffles and ice cream for dessert. 

#5 Privacy. Losing your privacy when getting used to being in a relationship can be hard for lots of people, especially those who are private and have a past of controlling partners. 

Inviting your new partner into your space lets them see your medicine cabinet, your phone, your DVR. Some of these things are more intrusive than others. But the best way to manage this change is to talk to your partner about boundaries. [Read: New relationship boundaries – 12 lines all new couples must draw early on]

What are you okay with and what makes you uncomfortable? Maybe down the road, you’ll be okay with them picking up your phone if someone calls. But for now, maybe that seems too intense for you. Share how you feel about peeling back the layers of privacy and boundaries before you feel overwhelmed. 

#6 Gas. Gas, it happens. We’re all human and we have digestive tracts and things happen. Everything from burps to farts and more can be embarrassing, especially at the start of a new relationship. [Read: Do girls fart? This and 15 other womanly mysteries demystified!]

You’d be surprised how many people have asked me when it’s okay to fart in front of your significant other. My answer would honestly be just let it loose. Everyone fart and poops. I know it’s awkward and weird to be that free with someone so soon. But holding it in isn’t good for you. [Read: 10 funny relationship goals that are all too real and relatable]

And, honestly, I have never dated someone where this stuff wasn’t just hilarious. If someone has an issue with your body’s natural functions, maybe you should go back to being single because they need to get their priorities straight. [Read: 13 weird, unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]

#7 Do boring stuff together. There are a lot of perks to being in a relationship. When you’re single and have to do chores or run errands, it is something you dread. But, once you’re in a relationship, you can actually make those dull things fun.

Going grocery shopping alone is sobering. But going together makes it like a little date. Running errands and cleaning the house with your partner reminds you that things are better with them. 

#8 You’re sore. This depends only on your personal fitness and intimacy but getting back in the saddle when you’ve been alone for a while can trigger some sore muscles. You’re not used to being in certain positions and now you are.

Getting used to these activities again is an adjustment but I’m sure you would agree a worthwhile one. Plus, now you have a partner to give you massages.

#9 You need to be honest and vulnerable. This is one of the harder parts about getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re single, you’re just you. But in a relationship, when you have a bad day, feel off, or are really struggling, you have someone to open up to. This can be amazing. You have someone to lean on. 

But, for someone not used to being vulnerable, it can be scary to start sharing. It can also be hard being honest with someone when it could cause friction. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and feel closer instantly]

These things take practice and patience, but letting go of those fears is what makes a relationship really healthy and balanced. Take baby steps until you’re fully comfortable and share with your partner that it may take time for you to be fully open with them.

#10 Things are progressing. Things are getting more serious. Maybe you’re meeting their friends or family, or they want to meet yours. This is a big step and hitting those milestones can feel really intense. Introducing someone you’re dating into your inner circle comes with a lot of fears. 

The best way to handle this change is to tell your partner how you feel. Let them know it feels fast for you or that you’re nervous about a certain step. They should understand and work with you so you’re both comfortable. [Read: How to pinpoint your relationship speed if you think it’s moving too fast]

#11 Pulling worries from the past. When you haven’t dated in a while and are now in a relationship, you may find yourself pulling issues from your last relationship into this one. You may even expect your partner to exhibit some of your ex’s behaviors because it is what you last experienced. 

This rationally isn’t right or fair, but it makes sense. You’ll compare your relationship to your last one that you’re most familiar with. Again, talk to your partner about your past and that trust may take more time for you, or you may be jealous because you were cheated on. [Read: How to know if your past relationship is holding you back from a better future]

Let them know you’re working on seeing this relationship separately from your past, but you’ll need time to get used to it. They should understand where you’re coming from because they likely have a past too. These things naturally affect us even if it doesn’t make sense. But working through them together is the best way to overcome them.

#12 Alone time. Lacking your alone time can be exhausting. Whether you’re an introvert or just used to having time to yourself, sharing all your free time with your partner can be suffocating. You want to be around them, but also need time to rest and reset. 

Again, talk to them. Let them know that you were single for a long time and got used to having all that time to yourself. And as much as you love being with them, this transition is a lot for you to handle. Set boundaries so you both maintain some independence and time to yourselves. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The answers you must know]

#13 Time with friends and hobbies. You never want to be the friend that ditches their friends because they got into a relationship. But, the beginning of a relationship is full of strong feelings and the desire to see each other often. 

If you find yourself missing nights with friends or your time for hobbies, make a weekly plan for both of you to see your friends separately. Later on, you can merge your groups or invite your partner so that you aren’t balancing different worlds but incorporating them. This will help you digest the newness of the relationship while enjoying the comfort of what you’re used to.

#14 Doing things you’re not excited about. All relationships require compromise. Going from being single and just doing what you want, to going to a work event with your partner can be annoying. You’re used to your freedom to say no, but you don’t want to let them down. 

Reverse the situation. Your partner would do the same for you. Sure, you may have to endure some dull client meetings or weird family get-togethers. But your partner does the same for you because it makes you happy. A couple of boring events are worth dealing with to have your partner smile, right? [Read: Selfishness in a relationship and how to do the right thing]

#15 Being an us. Going from a ‘me’ to a ‘we’ or an ‘I’ to an ‘us’ is a big transition. When you’re invited somewhere, it is as a couple. When you’re making plans, it’s as a duo. Having to discuss things together before making a decision can feel like you lost your voice or power. 

Instead of viewing it as a loss, think of it as a gain. You now have someone to share moments and memories with. You still have your independence and separate life. But you can come together and share support, passions, and respect with your partner. 

[Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a relationship]

Now learning how to get used to being in a relationship doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

The post Being in a Relationship: How to Prepare for It After Being Single is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Dependent Personality Disorder: What It Is & How to Read the Signs

Do you just hate being alone and by yourself? Dependent personality disorder is far more common that you think. Use these symptoms & signs to recognize it.

These days we’re hearing more and more about mental health. This is a good thing. It means the stigma is being broken down and that people feel more comfortable coming forward and asking for help, discussing how they feel. Back in the day, dependent personality disorder and other mental issues were a subject that people only ever whispered about. However, the increase in mental health conditions also shows that we’re also living in stressful times. 

When you hear the term ‘personality disorder’ you might be confused as to what that actually is. A personality disorder is a type of mental health issue. We usually think of depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD only, but the list actually goes far beyond that. A person with a personality disorder has a very fixed way of seeing the world. And this often affects how they relate to other people. 

Dependent personality disorder falls into that category. 

[Read: Emotional dependency and signs you’re overly dependent on someone]

What is dependent personality disorder?

Dependent personality disorder is a type of anxiety and it shows itself in a desperate need to not be alone.

A person with this condition needs to be around other people all the time. And when they’re left alone, they develop anxiety and feel extremely insecure. As a result, they need a large amount of reassurance to be able to go about the rest of their day. 

What usually causes the dependent personality disorder?

Dependent personality disorder can happen to anyone. But it tends to show itself in early adulthood, or as we start to meet people and form relationships with them. There are also a few risk factors or potential causes of dependent personality disorder too. These can vary from person to person but generally include:

#1 An abusive childhood or having been neglected in early life

#2 An abusive relationship 

#3 Parents who were very strict or overprotective

#4 Anxiety issues running in the family 

#5 Having been abandoned in some form in the past, either by parents or in a relationship 

[Read: How to be emotionally independent and stop relying on others for your happiness]

Why you should always seek help

It’s worth noting the potential causes. But it’s also important to remember that everyone is unique. The cause for dependent personality disorder doesn’t necessarily have to be on that list. 

At the same time, this is a condition which has varying degrees of seriousness. But if you feel anxious when you’re alone and you really need reassurance much of the time to be able to go out about the rest of your day, it’s something you need to reach out and get some help for. 

Nobody has to deal with problems such as this alone. You shouldn’t remain quiet about it either – we all need to be more vocal about our mental health. We’re very open about our physical health *most of the time*, so why aren’t we the same about our mental health? We all have mental health, after all! Sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s not great, other times it’s fine. [Read: How to be comfortable with yourself – A guide to not giving a f*ck]

What are the symptoms and signs to look out for?

There are no specific traits of people with dependent personality disorder because this isn’t something which develops in a specific “type” of person – it can happen to anyone.

However, there are some symptoms that occur. And by looking out for them, you can help yourself by reaching out for assistance, or maybe help someone close to you who is showing many of these signs. 

#1 Acting in a submissive way a lot of the time

#2 Not being able to make decisions alone and asking others to help come to a decision

#3 A need for constant reassurance

#4 Feelings can easily be hurt by a comment or someone not agreeing with you

#5 Feeling very anxious and even nervous when you’re left on your own

#6 Having an irrational fear of being rejected in some way

#7 Feeling hopeless when friends are too busy to spend time with you, or when you have an argument or disagreement with someone close to you

#8 A general sense of nervousness much of the time

A person with dependent personality disorder may experience panic attacks occasionally and generally lives in a state of fear. They may have a sense of foreboding in the pit of their stomach, like something is about to go wrong but they can’t quite put their finger on what it is.

It’s a really terrible way to live, because you don’t have to live in fear. For that reason, reaching out for help is vital if you want to free yourself of this terrible problem. [Read: How to let go of your fear of being alone and find peace again]

Relationships and dependent personality disorder

It’s not hard to see why a person with dependent personality disorder may struggle with relationships. There has to be a lot of open and honest communication between partners. But even then, it’s hard for the other person to constantly give reassurance.

People can’t be together all the time, it’s simply not healthy. This is why many people who struggle with this disorder often find that their relationships don’t last too long. That is, unless they meet a partner who is very understanding and determined to help them through the issue. In order for that to happen, the person with the disorder has to be open to receiving help and really be able to put the effort in. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or a taker?]

The Cinderella dependent personality disorder

A particular issue with relationships is Cinderella dependent personality disorder. 

A person struggling with this type of disorder often feels the need to be saved and they can’t really do a lot for themselves. They need others to direct them and to give them assistance, almost like Cinderella is “saved” by Prince Charming in the story. This can come down to a fear of independence but of course, it goes far deeper than that.

A person with the Cinderella version of the condition has either been told repeatedly in the past that they can’t do something, they may have had overbearing parents who were extremely overprotective, or they may have been through a situation in earlier life which caused them to “fail” in a big way. As a result, they place the responsibility of their decisions and their life to a large degree, on other people. This can often be a romantic partner. [Read: How to learn to stand on your own two feet when you’ve always been codependent]

Whatever version of dependent personality disorder a person has, it’s not the best grounding for a relationship. People need space to be alone in relationships and it allows them to grow individually and become a better partner. I’ve said it once already and I’ll no doubt say it again – reaching out for help is the only way to turn the situation around. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]

How to manage dependent personality disorder

The most important thing to mention is that your future doesn’t have to be like your past. Whatever happened in the past to make you this fearful of being alone, it’s not going to happen again. You are an independent person who is more than capable of spending time alone and making your own decisions. The more you try it, the more you might actually like spending time in your own company!

In order to reach that point, what do you need to do? Yes, again, you need to reach out for help. Your doctor will be able to look at your symptoms and work out whether you do indeed have dependent personality disorder or not. If so, they can either help you with a variety of options.

Psychotherapy and DPD

Psychotherapy is one of the options that has been shown to work very well. This is a type of therapy which helps to build up your self-esteem. It shows you how to build healthy and strong relationships with those around you and with yourself. 

This is sometimes used in conjunction with medications to help treat anxiety, but these aren’t usually given as a first option. Your doctor will probably want you to try therapy first and try and kick dependent personality disorder on your own steam, rather than relying upon medications. However, the option is there. [Read: How to spot codependent traits very early on using the views of a therapist]

The good news is that dependent personality disorder, or DPD as you’ll often see it shortened to, can be managed very effectively.

As long as you reach out for help and focus on determination to beat it, you can alleviate your symptoms and work to build up your confidence. Whilst there might not be a solid and lasting cure, there are many techniques you can use to stop it from coming back and to stop flare ups over the long-term.

[Read: How to get over the feeling of being unwanted and start feeling desired again]

Dependent personality disorder is not something to just ignore or assume it’s going to go away. It can severely limit your happiness in life and your ability to have strong and lasting relationships with other people. Be brave and reach out for help – it will be the strongest thing you’ll ever do and of course, the best. 

The post Dependent Personality Disorder: What It Is & How to Read the Signs is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What is FOMO? How to Read the Signs & Overcome the Stress It Causes

What is FOMO? The fear of missing out can leave you anxious, sad and mostly, left out. Here’s how to recognize the signs and stoop it from hurting you. 

What is FOMO really? FOMO is the fear of missing out. It is relevant in a lot of circumstances like missing someone’s party, not getting an invite, or being too anxious to do something you want to do. 

FOMO was always a thing but the term became relevant in the last few years due to the rise of social media. With everyone sharing their highlights online, those of us who aren’t going on adventures can see the fun others are having while sitting at home. It makes those feelings even more real and painful.

[Read: Dating someone with FOMO – Will they ever be ready for a real relationship?]

What is FOMO?

FOMO is an acronym for Fear Of Missing Out. And quite simply, it is the fear and anxiety we feel when we believe we’re missing out on something that someone else is enjoying right that moment.

FOMO can come in different forms. You may feel FOMO when you aren’t invited to something, when you’re sick and can’t make plans, or when social anxiety takes over and prevents you from interacting in a public setting. 

And this feeling is exacerbated by our ability to stay connected to others virtually. Before technology was so prevalent, if you didn’t go out on Friday with your coworkers you’d maybe hear about it Monday morning but it would be too late to do anything about it. 

Now if you don’t go out, you instantly see your friends posting on their feeds having a great time without you. You feel like an outsider. You want to be included but for whatever reason aren’t.

Being that it is human nature to want to fit in and be involved in a community, being left out of the fun can be very lonely and isolating. [Read: Why social media makes you feel more insecure and lonely than ever before]

The rise of FOMO in today’s connected world

FOMO is also much more generalized now. It isn’t just about missing the fun with friends but not doing the same as others. 

Whether it is your old classmates, celebrities, or influencers, seeing people go on trips, try new things, and even just hit milestones in their lives can trigger FOMO. 

And unfortunately, FOMO is not just a passing fear of missing out. With its continued presence in our lives, it can become a major stressor. 

If you are at home in your apartment most weekends watching TV and petting your cat, even if you enjoy that simple life, seeing others online doing things like getting married, going skydiving, or buying a house can be triggering. 

This leaves you feeling less than. You think others are living better or more fulfilling lives than you, and it can lead to further anxiety and even depression. [Read: How to get over feeling unwanted and start feeling desired again]

How to recognize FOMO and its effects in your own life

This relentless comparison to others’ online presences is so damaging to the psyche. 

Every time you pick up your phone and see someone’s smiling photo in front of a mountain or engagement announcement, you can be hit with a tinge of low self-esteem. 

Seeing the best parts of other people’s lives makes you feel like your life is less special. If seeing old friends move onto new chapters in their lives makes you feel bitter, lonely, or behind you are probably experiencing FOMO.

This can be triggered by anything. Maybe you didn’t get a promotion at work. So when you see someone celebrating a new job, it is hard to be happy for them. Also, with the rise of social anxiety, it can be a double-edged sword. You can watch other people go to parties and wish you were there and having fun, but due to social anxiety, you feel trapped at home. [Read: Social anxiety vs shyness – How to decode what you feel inside]

This doesn’t just make you feel left out, but also guilty like your self-loathing is your own fault. FOMO isn’t always due to the fact that you’re not invited, but that you aren’t taking initiative. Or, at least it feels that way.

How to know for sure if you’re experiencing FOMO constantly

When you hit an age and see your peers getting married, having kids, or hitting career milestones, but you still live at home, it can feel like you put yourself in this position. It not only makes you feel down that you aren’t at the same point as your peers, but that you also aren’t living up to your potential and it is all your doing. 

This only makes the impact of FOMO that much stronger. And those feelings tend to double over into lower self-esteem and higher anxiety levels which worsens all those bad feelings. [Read: How to stop feeling sorry for yourself and end the pity party]

If this sounds familiar, you are probably experiencing FOMO. To be honest, I’d be surprised if you weren’t.

Even those who are doing extremely well in all aspects of life compare themselves to others online. Even those with loads of confidence face these battles. 

And instead of acknowledging these unfortunate feelings and stepping away from social media to focus on our own lives, these feelings actually increase our screen time. 

That’s right. It may seem bizarre but the fear of missing out isn’t just about being in person but missing someone’s post. You want to know the latest. You want to be up to date. 

Because you feel you are missing out, you feel this intensified need to engage online even more which perpetuates this harmful cycle of FOMO. [Read: Social media detox – How to wean yourself off it and live a better life]

How to overcome FOMO and enjoy your life

I know FOMO sucks. It really sucks. And it takes a serious toll on your mental health and wellbeing. 

Instead of using other people’s successes to inspire or motivate yourself, they seem to pull you deeper into a rut of nothingness. 

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. You can get over the burden of FOMO and enjoy your life for what it is with these methods. 

#1 Take social media breaks. It is so easy to pick up your phone and mindlessly scroll through Instagram. It seems like a way to pass the time in a waiting room or look away from work for a moment. But, each one of those five-minute social media sessions is subconsciously triggering FOMO in one way or another. 

You may think a funny meme here and there or a friend’s dog photo is fine, but those are being sprinkled with bikini photos on the beach and more. Take breaks. You can do this by hiding your social media apps on the last page of your phone’s icons. You can even delete the apps for a while. Or when you want to pass the time on your phone, reach out to a friend or play a game. I would suggest taking time completely away from your screen if possible. Have a friend join you in your goal and keep on top of each other.

And most smartphones have a usage tracker that can tell you how much time you’ve spent on social networks. Take a look at that to see how those 5-minute scrolling sessions really add up. [Read: Instagram envy and how to keep things real when you feel jealous]

#2 Don’t compare your reality to someone else’s highlight reel. This is easier said than done, but it is a common saying for a reason. Most people post their best bits online. If you have a fight with your partner, get dumped, or got in trouble at work, you’re not going to post that online. 

Those things happen to everyone. When you scroll through everyone’s best moments while experiencing some bad ones for yourself, you feel isolated and alone in that. You’re comparing your reality that is filled with ups and downs to other people’s carefully curated ups. 

And the thing is, everyone else is doing it too. Why do you think people post their best bits? They want to seem happy and successful just like you because they see the same things. Remember that you are living a full life and just like every second of your day isn’t shared online, neither is everyone else’s.

#3 Follow people who make you feel good. This is hard to do at first, but God, it feels so good. You may want to keep up with your favorite celebrities, your former classmates, and the most popular Bachelor contestants but if their posts don’t make you feel good, why follow? 

Hating following or even jealousy following is not victimless. You become the victim. Following accounts that make you feel less than only increase your FOMO. 

I may want to see what a Bachelor contestant has to say about their embarrassing moment on the show but I don’t want to see her photoshopped beach pictures while I’m home working in a robe and slippers. 

It just isn’t worth the sting to my mental health and body positivity journey. I went through a purge of my social media follows about a year ago and do it every few months. I unfollow people that stress me out or make me feel like I’m not good enough. 

I follow my real-life friends, influencers that don’t photoshop their images, people who show their imperfections, celebrities that make me laugh, and a whole bunch of meme accounts. Following Instagram models may seem like #goals but it is really #unrealisticgoals or even #unhealthygoals for most people. 

#4 Focus on the good in your life. FOMO is sparked by the happiness we see in others and the sadness in ourselves. But, taking the time to focus on what’s good in your life can help turn the page on FOMO.

Instead of comparing your feed to others, look at your life. Do you have a solid relationship with your parents? Do you enjoy your job? Do you have the cutest pet ever? Did you have a breakthrough in therapy? Appreciate the good in your life and take hold of that. [Read: How to be grateful – 15 authentic ways to appreciate and express it]

When my anxiety was at its worst, I looked at people online living these full lives and felt so alone. I could barely leave the house while others traveled the world. I had to realize that my baby step of running errands alone might seem small in comparison but for me, it was a big deal and I had to focus on that for myself. 

#5 Post what you want to post and put your phone down. You don’t have to delete your social media accounts to fight FOMO. You can still post and interact, just do it in a healthy and productive way. If you want to post a selfie because you’re feeling yourself, go for it. 

But, looking for approval through likes or online attention won’t make you feel better. If you feel good about yourself and post a selfie, post it and walk away. Don’t wait for the likes to roll in or worry about if it is as good as someone else’s. Not only do the people we see so often online have professional lighting, photographers, and makeup artists but they have Facetune and editing that most of us don’t use or even notice. 

So, next time you want to share something good, share it but for yourself not for others. [Read: 15 very real millennial problems that reveal that not all is Instagram-perfect]

#6 Live in the moment. If you’ve ever been on a public beach during sunset you’ve seen how many people are there taking photos. It sort of ruins the magic of that natural moment. That is what social media does. And most of us are guilty of it.

I would see other people’s couple photos and they seem so romantic that I would try to achieve the same thing with my boyfriend whenever we went anywhere cute. If I don’t photograph that cute moment did it really happen? YES!

That’s the thing. You waste what could be really amazing moments of connection to get the perfect photo when that connection is what really matters. 

I’m in a healthy relationship and I’ve never been happier. My boyfriend and I have some cute photos together but they are mostly selfies taken at home. Years ago I dated someone and we have loads of #relationshipgoals photos taken on beaches and doing fun activities. But I was miserable in that relationship. No one would have guessed it from my posts. 

Living in the moment without the perfect photo to post is a lot more rewarding. [Read: 20 positive ways to live in the moment and live in the now]

#7 Enhance your real connections. When you get the urge to swipe through Facebook and Instagram to remain in the loop, take a step back. You are craving interaction and connection. Social media is the most shallow way to fulfill those desires.

Instead, make a real connection. Go to lunch with a friend, call your mom, cuddle your dog. Authentic connections may not be as instant but will make you feel better, not worse.

#8 Be grateful. Whether you decide to start a gratitude journal or simply thank God or the universe for what you have, this is a great way to remind yourself that you are happy and have plenty of things to be happy about. 

Seeing so much happiness from others online can trigger you to think about all you don’t have, when in reality you have a whole hell of a lot to smile about.

Take some time every day to take note of the things you’re grateful for. You can do this when you wake up, before bed, or any chance you get. You can write down a list of the people in your life you’re grateful for, the sun shining, or the food you have to provide for your family. Once you make a habit out of this, it will come naturally. [Read: 20 things to be grateful for you don’t appreciate already]

#9 Practice self-love. I know self-love is a millennial term most people roll their eyes at. But before you skip this, take a second to think about it. Self-love is not simply the act of loving yourself. Practicing self-love reminds you that you deserve a break, you deserve to be pampered, and you are worthy. 

Instead of taking a break and scrolling through your feed, take a break and do a face mask, watch your favorite sitcom or just sit and breathe for a few minutes. 

Taking time for you should include things that bring you pure joy, not things that leave you feeling not good enough. [Read: How to discover self-love and happiness one little step at a time]

#10 Remember that others’ happiness does not take away from yours. This is something that seems so obvious. But FOMO enhances this idea. When you see others doing well, it is not just the comparison that hurts but the idea that their happiness takes away from yours. 

That simply isn’t true. I have a few friends that have told me every time they see someone announce their engagement on Facebook, they only think about how they aren’t even close to that. They see this happiness from others as a reminder that they don’t have that. 

But, someone else’s happiness doesn’t have to do that. Instead, you can be happy for others and for yourself. Just because someone got a promotion doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t get one. Just because someone is engaged doesn’t mean you’re running out of time. 

Remind yourself that you can be happy for others and that doesn’t take anything away from you. [Read: 20 powerful ways to draw happiness from within instead of letting others get to you]

#11 Focus on your path. Everyone’s path is different, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I first started feeling like I was behind my peers when I was a senior in high school.

Everyone wanted to go away to school but I didn’t. Then in college, it took me longer to graduate. I looked at my classmates who graduated in 4 years and felt like I had failed because I needed more time. I would look at people who went straight from college into well-paying jobs when I had a part-time internship. 

And even recently, I would look at people my age having their second baby while I live at home. It can take time to accept that you and your peers are not the same. It may seem like every one of your classmates is getting engaged or married or moving on while you’re stuck. But take a step back.

Your story isn’t theirs. It is okay to move slower and to figure out what to want through experience. It is okay to meet the person you want to marry later in life or to never get married. You don’t have to compete for milestones. Life isn’t a competition to see who gets to the end first. It is about enjoying your own path, wherever it goes. [Read: How to find yourself when you feel like you’ve lost your way]

#12 Be active when engaging online. One of the reasons we often don’t recognize FOMO until we’re deep into those self-deprecating feelings is that we mindlessly scroll. We open an app and just look without thinking. We don’t actively engage with what we’re seeing. 

But scrolling, even without full attention, through harmful posts can eat away at your subconscious. Take your time in your next scrolling session. Really pay attention to what you’re seeing. If it doesn’t make you happy to see, unfollow it. If you see something that inspires you, share it. If something makes you happy, tell the person that posted it. 

Making meaningful engagements through social media is a lot more impactful and beneficial than the mindless scrolling we are all guilty of. [Read: How to change your self-deprecating attitude and stop giving up on life]

#13 Imagine the world without social media. Consider this a mental health daydream. Don’t simply imagine your life without social media, but the world. What would you be doing if social media didn’t exist? Would you be thinking about what others are doing or focusing on your life?

Would you be trying to get the perfect photo where you look happy and nonchalant and cool or just enjoy the moment? Without the impact of social media, you would simply live your life how you want to for you, not a ton of strangers. 

#14 Rethink your jealousy. Even though we don’t want to admit it, we’re jealous. But, like most jealousy, it is unfounded. Sure, when I see a girl with crystal clear skin posting a selfie I am jealous, but I’ve learned to redirect that feeling. 

What am I jealous of? And why am I jealous? I don’t know anything about this girl’s life nor she mine. It could be photoshopped or not, but how does that affect me and my life? Being jealous of someone’s life for any reason only makes me see less of myself when I know my acne doesn’t define me or make me less deserving of happiness. 

Next time you feel that ping of jealousy running through you, step back and reexamine that FOMO. Are you missing out on a great opportunity or are you living your life how you want to? [Read: How to learn to stop being jealous and learn to live envy-free]

#15 Reassess your attention. We give so much of our attention and energy to strangers. How much time have you spent looking through someone else’s vacation photos or thinking about what someone posted? Why are you putting so much energy into something that does no good for anyone?

Refocus your attention on your true connections. Reach out to your friends and family. Accomplish something you want. Don’t waste the attention you have on something only making you feel bad.

[Read: A full guide on how to learn to live a life you’ll love and cherish]

What is FOMO? It is the fear of missing out but what you’re really missing out on is living your own life fully and enjoying every moment of reality.

The post What is FOMO? How to Read the Signs & Overcome the Stress It Causes is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.