13 Signs Your Husband Hates You: Is Your Marriage Is a Lost Cause?

No one wants to give up on their relationship, but not all relationships can be saved. It’s time to delve into the signs your husband hates you or not.

No one wants to be in a relationship that’s falling apart. And when you start to see the signs your husband hates you, you’re probably wondering if you marriage can even be salvaged. It is time to make a plan of action.

I remember being with my ex and feeling like I truly disliked him. I couldn’t stand listening to him talk, I was always angry with him, and I avoided spending time with him. That wasn’t healthy.

In a healthy relationship, you want to spend time with your partner. You want to surprise them and see them happy. But that wasn’t the case with my relationship. Eventually, the longer we stayed together, the more resentment built in me towards him.

You’re probably wondering why I didn’t dump him right away, and I’m wondering the same thing. Insecurities, the fear of being alone, these thoughts routinely crossed my mind. [Read: The 25 signs of disrespect that shouldn’t be tolerated in any marriage]

How to know the signs your husband hates you

Now, I think hate is a very strong word. I don’t think your husband hates you; it’s a little harsh to assume. But your partner may be feeling disengaged and uninterested in having a relationship with you.

If you feel something is off, take a closer look at what’s happening in your relationship. When did this start? Why do you think it’s happening? Asking yourself these questions can help you get a better idea of what’s going on. Once you answer these questions, then it’s time to see the signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore.

Not feeling the love? Let’s find out why.

#1 He doesn’t show you affection. Some men aren’t affectionate by nature, but that shouldn’t be something new for you if your husband is like that. But if he stopped showing you affection, something is wrong.

Avoiding any physical contact with you is a sign that his feelings are no longer the same. Does this mean he hates you? No. But it does mean he has something on his mind. [Read: The 19 unfortunate signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore] 

#2 He forgets major dates. Whether your birthday or anniversary, he doesn’t remember either. If he just has a bad memory, let it slide. Even I forget important dates. But if he suddenly stops caring about your birthday or anniversary, get a little worried. Sudden behavior change isn’t normal.

#3 He stops spending time with you. In a marriage, you spend a lot of time together. It’s normal. You are growing a life together and enjoy each other’s company. But if he stops spending time with you then you should be concerned.

If he’s spending more time at work or with friends, something is going on. Take a look at the context and try to understand. If he’s purposely avoiding you, there’s a problem. [Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless unhappy marriage]

#4 He’s emotionally abusive. Recently, he’s become emotionally abusive towards you. Whether name-calling, putting you down, or manipulation, he’s trying to hurt you. In other words, he has serious issues. Escape that before it gets worse. 

#5 He criticizes you. Some men are born jerks and criticize their partner until the cows come home. But if your spouse is usually supportive and non-judgmental, then this is out of character for him. If he’s criticizing what you wear, how you look, even how you cook dinner, he has pent up anger and frustration towards you.

#6 He blames you for everything. Whether he was at fault or not, he points the finger at you and blames you for everything that’s happened to him. It’s easy to see this as one of the signs your husband hates you, but in reality, he’s a child that’s never grown up. If he blames you for everything, this is a major issue and can become physical. 

#7 He’s physically violent towards you. I don’t care if he can’t stand you. If your husband puts a hand on you and is violent towards you, he’s a dangerous person to be around. There’s no excuse to be physically violent towards someone else, especially someone you claim to love. He doesn’t love you; he’s abusive.

#8 You suspect he’s cheating on you. He’s secretive with his personal life and won’t let you near his phone. You’re starting to think something is up. Usually, the feelings of anger and resentment towards you are caused by guilt. If he’s cheating on you, he may become aggressive and defensive towards you. This doesn’t mean he hates you, but he’s certainly trying to. [Read: The 30 signs your husband may be cheating on you]

#9 He told you. If your husband has literally told you, “I hate you, I can’t stand you,” then that’s a pretty clear sign it’s time for you to pack your bags and leave. A true partner would never talk like this. If he hates you that much, well, then he should have no problem when you leave him.

#10 There’s no more intimacy. You don’t have sex anymore. He doesn’t touch you; he doesn’t try to make a move on you even if you initiate intimacy. In other words, he’s not interested in you at all. My question for you is: why are you still married to him? He’s lost interest in you and doesn’t have a problem showing it.

#11 He doesn’t put in any effort into the relationship. You may surprise him with his favorite dinner or tickets to a hockey game, but he doesn’t do anything for you. It feels as though you’re doing all the work and he’s just enjoying life. This is a huge sign of disrespect. If he doesn’t put an inch into the relationship, it doesn’t sound like he wants to be in it.

#12 He’s irritated when you speak. Whenever you open your mouth, he suddenly has had enough. Whatever you say irritates him. I was like this towards the end of my relationship with my ex. I couldn’t stand a word he said. And this is the sign that he’s no longer interested in you. Ask him why he’s sticking around. [Read: The 7 non-negotiables in a relationship you shouldn’t compromise on]

#13 He’s never home. He’s always going out somewhere. When someone loves you, they spend time with you. But he does his best to avoid being at home with you. If he’s not interested in spending time with you or the children, time to evaluate whether or not he should stay in your lives.

[Read: Is the lack of affection in your marriage a sign it is time to walk away?]

If you feel a lack of connection with your husband, take a close look at what’s really going on. It’s time to figure out if you’re seeing the signs your husband hates you.

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