Why Do Ghosts Come Back? An Insight into the Mind of a Ghoster

You never got an answer to why you were ghosted. By the time you moved on, the ghost returned. What the heck? Why do ghosts come back?

If being ghosted wasn’t confusing enough already, it just became even more baffling. Why do ghosts come back? I mean, being ghosted is a one-sided breakup without closure, so what do you do when they come back? Without answers, it can be hard to move on and even harder to build yourself back up.

But, once you come to the realization that you deserve better and move on, boom! You get a text from your ghost.

It can be anything from “Heyyyy. You up?” to “I saw you got a promotion, Congrats, you deserve it.” But, it is never an apology, an explanation, or even an admission or mention of any wrongdoing.

If someone wanted to end their relationship or flirtation with you so badly that they couldn’t even do you the courtesy of explaining why, why do ghosts come back? This person was so scared of your reaction to them ending things that they cut off all communication, but now they come back. Why? [Read: Why being ghosted hurts so much and what you need to do about it]

What is it called when ghosts come back?

We know what ghosting is, but when ghosts come back, what is that? It isn’t exactly haunting because that is a lot more irritating and subtle. Is it resurrecting? No, that is too nice. I think the term is zombieing.

Yes, a zombie. That is definitely the right descriptor for a ghost that comes back. This isn’t someone yearning for a second chance, but someone sneaking back up on you to eat your brains, or more literally hurt you emotionally. [Read: How to handle the zombies of dating]

Why do ghosts come back?

Like me, I hope your first reaction to a ghost that comes back is F*** OFF. But, not all of us can just shut people down how ghosts can. Some people feel they deserve an explanation while others just want to see what they’ll say.

Whether you want to know why your ghost came back or you want to know for research purposes, here are the reasons why ghosts come back. [Read: 15 ways to ghostbust a ghost like a badass]

#1 They’re bored. This is probably the most common. When a ghost ghosts they were bored or over it. Now they are bored of something else so they reach out.

You’ll know this is the reason if they reach out with barely any effort. They might just say hey and see if you respond.

#2 They want an ego boost. This is something no ghost will ever admit too, but you would be surprised how often this is the reason a ghost comes back. The person who ghosted you is feeling down or maybe they were just ghosted.

Even though they aren’t genuinely interested, they reach out to see if you’ll respond. If you do they get that warm fuzzy feeling that they are still on your mind. Don’t give them the satisfaction. [Read: The unassuming signs you’re dating a jerk]

#3 They assume you pine for them. Some ghosts truly are narcissists who believe the world revolves around them. They knew what they were doing when they ghosted you. They know it would drive you nuts, but they did it anyway.

So, when this ghost comes back, they don’t even entertain the idea that you’ll ignore them. They assume you have been thinking about them all the time, whether it be a week or a year. If you don’t answer, they may even reach out again.

#4 They don’t even realize they did anything wrong. This is the most ignorant and immature of all the ghosts. They genuinely are so unaware of the fact that they are not a decent person they think ignoring you for weeks or months was totally cool. [Read: What does it mean when someone’s ignoring your texts on purpose?]

#5 They saw your cute Instagram post. Yup, this is a thing. If a ghost is still following you online, AKA – haunting, they may reach out because they just saw your fire Instagram post. Instead of letting you live your best life away from them and their dirty ghosting past, they decide to hit you up.

#6 They were dumped. They want a rebound even if they don’t plan on seeing you or talking to you for more than a night. When something doesn’t work out for a ghost, they crawl back into the lives of those they’ve screwed over. [Read: 16 signs you’re his rebound girl and nothing more]

#7 They want to see where your head is. When it comes to ghosting, it is all about the head games whether the ghost realizes it or not. The ghost wants to see where you are. Sure he screwed you before but wants to see if you are holding a grudge or if you’d be up for Netflix and chilling.

#8 They’re too lazy to go out and meet anyone new. A ghost that comes back is like a 90’s guy calling the ladies in his little black book. Instead of meeting anyone new and forming a connection, he wants to rekindle what you had before. Who knows if his intentions are noble or not *they probably are not*, but either way he sounds like a waste of energy. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 reasons why they turn into cowardly pricks]

#9 They are entitled, cocky, or stupid. Ghosting in and of itself is an entitled move that proves someone is selfish, uncaring, and all around immature. But, when the ghost comes back, they are just showing you once again how they think their feelings are more important than yours.

#10 They genuinely miss you. This is the rarest of the rare occasions. I do not want you to get your hopes up or believe that just because a guy texted you “I miss you” after ignoring you for weeks that he actually means it.

But, there are the rare occurrences that someone genuinely feels bad for being an idiot and asks for your forgiveness. But, this is only the case if they actually verbalize/type this out. They must acknowledge what they did. They should offer an apology or they are not worth the risk. [Read: How to handle the guys who ghost and come back]

What to do about a ghost that comes back?

When a ghost comes back, it can be so infuriating. If you are calmer than me, it may just be mildly annoying. You already moved on and now he is ready to give you a second chance? I don’t think so.

Your last text *that is visible to both of you in the conversation* could literally say, “WTF, way to ghost me you immature turd.” And they still have the nerve to text you, “Hey cutie ;)” at two am four months later.

A ghost that comes back usually takes zero accountability for leading you on, cutting you off, and driving you freaking bonkers. They never explained leaving your life so they don’t feel a need to explain why they are back. [Read: When someone stops texting you – The sad, mad and pissed off girl’s guide]

I have even asked ghosts that come back, why. Their artful way of avoiding the answer is a psychological marvel.

As I said, I do think in 9/10 ghosting situations if the ghost comes back, you should block them and move on with your amazing life. There is that tiny, itty-bitty, minuscule, amount of times that the ghost genuinely feels bad and wants a second chance.

If they actually take responsibility for it, proceed with a lot of caution. Otherwise don’t even give them the time of day. Unless, of course, you’re going to offer a witty dig at them and post it online.

[Read: Haunting vs ghosting: Why haunting is so much worse]

Why do ghosts come back? Well, usually for really crappy reasons, but investigating might be worth it for a fair few ghosts *that would be called a resurrection*.

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