Don't Listen to Those Who Say "No Sex on the First Date"

She’s not that kind of girl? Well, here’s a pro tip: all girls are that kind of girl. Those who say first date sex shouldn’t happen usually have ulterior motives.

I’m always surprised when men believe sex on the first date is unlikely, unnecessary, impossible, or even wrong.

I’m never surprised when women have this belief.

You see, when you spend many years with an enlightened view of women (like I and the contributors on Girls Chase have), it becomes your norm. Old and misguided beliefs you lost years ago or never had seem strange and foreign.

Sometimes men say they “want to take it slow” with a girl because they want something serious, or they might mention that she’s being a slut because she has sex on the first date. They might even say she’s a whore despite not sleeping with him on the first date. When I see this, I know that they are entangled in the Madonna-Whore complex, which is where this false belief originates. It’s the root of wrong views about quick sex.

Men lose so much from this ignorance.

However, when a woman says it, she has everything to gain and little to lose.

Contents

1. The White Knight Rages

2. The Traditionalist Fears

3. Man Submits to the Idea

4. Man Competes

5. Woman Hides

6. Woman Screens/Rejects

7. Woman Competes

8. Many Motivations, One Ignorance

To understand why women pretend to believe that “sex can’t happen on the first date” and why men fall for the lie, we will go through what motivations a man or woman might have for holding this wrong view.

In the sense of good and bad, it has very little to do with morality and instead is about the morality of status-gaining and control, and mate-screening.

Women rightly want what is best for them. They want the best man they can get. If we start with this simple premise, everything about the idea of “not having sex on the first date” becomes translucent. We see an innocent idea as something much more.

When you see this idea for what it is, you will wake up to a new view of women.

It is a liberating view.

You will walk around the world as a hunter, knowing that you can screw any girl, and I mean any girl on the first date.

I don’t care if she’s a Queen or just thinks she is one on Instagram, you can slay her on the first date.

Now, why might a man believe this romantically pernicious idea?

How to Text Your Crush without Being Annoying or Boring Them

We all worry that we are bothering people when we reach out, but you can learn how to text your crush without being annoying.

When I was younger, my biggest fear was that I was annoying. I feared that they didn’t want me around. So, when it came to talking to a crush, that was amplified by a billion. But all said and done, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is an important dating skill.

Dating a crush made me so nervous that I would screw things up and embarrass myself. My crush didn’t just not like me back, but he found me annoying.

Since then I not only gained confidence in myself but realized I am worthy of others’ attention. I no longer believe that I am a bother or pestering someone just by texting them.

But, how do you get there? Well, I can help you learn how to text your crush without being annoying.

[Read: How to build your self-confidence and realize you are worth it]

Why do you think you’re being annoying?

Before we get into ways for how to text your crush without being annoying, let’s figure out why this is even a worry you have. Why do you think you’re being annoying when you text your crush?

Does it have to do with your own insecurities? Are you struggling with self-esteem issues? Are you just nervous that your crush won’t like you back? Working on your confidence is not something that gets done overnight. But you can remind yourself that appearing confident and believing you are worthy of someone’s attention will help get you there.

When you exude confidence through your words and actions, others perceive you as such. You then actually gain true confidence. Do you worry a lot about what other people think of you? Have you been told you’re annoying by those you are close to or even by your crush? [Read: 16 steps to build your self-confidence and realize you’re worth it]

If you find that you are often weighed down by how others view you, let go of that. What you think of yourself is the most important. If you have faith in yourself and love yourself, that attitude will ignite others to feel the same.

People feed off of our energies, and if you come across as anxious and uncomfortable, others will feel that, even through texts. But, if you let go of those fears of being annoying you can text your crush with a sense of confidence that will make them see you in a bright light.

If you dull yourself due to fears of inadequacy or being annoying, you will only live up to that self-proclaimed prophecy. If you text your crush with confidence and encouragement, you will live up to that find joy in being yourself.

[Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]

How to text your crush without being annoying

Learning how to text your crush without being annoying is easier than you might think. Yes, it will take some practice, some guts, and a whole lot of self-discovery, but you can do it.

And by the time you learn how to text your crush without being annoying, you will lose all worries of being annoying. You will have courage and self-love that will ensure you are only crushing on someone that sees your worth.

#1 Never apologize for talking. Go in with confidence right from the first text. Never say you’re sorry for reaching out. Never apologize just for sharing your opinion or seeing if they want to hang out.

By doing that you only further induce the idea that you’re annoying them. Own your words and have faith in yourself. [Read: How to text your crush, play it cool and win them over]

#2 Don’t ask if you’re being annoying. Just by putting that idea into their head, they will start to believe it. I talked to a guy who I wasn’t annoyed by until I couldn’t text back right away. He would constantly ask me if he was bothering me. He never was until he asked that.

That is not an attractive quality. If someone isn’t texting back right away, they are probably busy. Even if they say that they are busy, do not say sorry for texting them or feel bad. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]

#3 Do not second guess yourself. Once you send a text to your crush, do not second guess it. Do not reread it until it sounds crazy. There is no need to overanalyze every text to your crush. If you hope to hang out with them you won’t have the time to overanalyze and second guess yourself in person, so just go with it.

#4 Don’t overdo it.  Play it cool. You can have an exciting conversation but try not to be too intense. If you are eating, you don’t need to write a novel with the details to your crush. Keep it simple.

Let them know you are interested in hanging out and offer an idea like the new mini-golf course. When you have confidence in yourself you don’t have to add bells and whistles to everything you say. [Read: How to fix your jitters and ask your crush out]

#5 Keep yourself busy. You may feel like you’re being annoying when texting your crush because they haven’t answered back automatically. But, even with the addiction to technology we all have times when we are away from our phones.

Instead of staring at your phone and waiting for a response, wondering what they could be doing or if they read your message, do something. Read a book, do a DIY project, or go for a walk with your phone on silent. Don’t let texting your crush take over your day.

#6 Talk to a trusted friend. Sometimes all you need to make sure you feel good about texting your crush is encouragement from a trusted friend that lifts you up. You want a friend that will remind you how amazing you are.

You want a friend who won’t just make you feel hopeful but also be there for you if it doesn’t go well because there is no such thing as a sure thing. If you are nervous about texting your crush, do it in the company of this friend. Then you have someone who will amp you up and boost your ego. [Read: The 15 qualities that set apart a good friend]

#7 Don’t be too eager. We all want someone who is interested in us, your crush included, but being too eager and available is just too much sometimes. Your crush may not even know you like them. Jumping the gun can come off as desperate or needy.

When they text back, you can do a silent celebratory dance to yourself, but try to wait a few minutes to respond. Just let the conversation flow and don’t jump into it headfirst.

#8 Talk about mutual connections. If you reach out to your crush saying, “hey, what’s up?” they may not be annoyed, but they also won’t be interested or intrigued. Instead of generic topics, bring up an interest you share from the start.

Ask them about the assignment you have due tomorrow. Ask if they’ve watched the latest season of Stranger Things or if they’ve seen the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Starting the conversation with a topic and not just “how are you” or “what’s up” stops the empty talk and boring conversation. [Read: 20 flirty tips to text your crush and get them interested in you]

#9 Never double text. I know you want to hear from them but NEVER double text. Sure you can fix a spelling error or say “did you this new movie?” then send a text saying, “It was awesome!,” but only immediately as if it is the same message.

Don’t text and then say, “hey did you get my last text?” or send the same message twice. If they don’t answer then they don’t. It isn’t the end of the world. But double texting is annoying even coming from someone you like. Hit send and put your phone down.

#10 Take no or nothing as your answer. If they aren’t texting you back, don’t assume they find you annoying. Some people just can’t text back and say they are taken, they aren’t interested, or just don’t want to talk.

If they are ghosting you, just accept it. It sucks and I know that, but it will be better to just accept that you aren’t a match and move on. It is better you know now. [Read: Why ghosting hurts so much and what you can do about it]

#11 Remember that you deserve someone who is excited to hear from you. Try not to let this get to you. It can be a roller coaster of emotions to text your crush.

You build up the courage to send the text and worry that they won’t answer. You then get excited and feel good if they do, but feel down if it doesn’t work out how you planned.

I know it sucks to not have the reaction or response you hoped for. Remember, you deserve someone that is excited to get a text from you, not someone who is just being polite or doesn’t bother answering.

[Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush really interested]

Trust me, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is not about who you are. It is about believing in yourself and knowing what you deserve.

The post How to Text Your Crush without Being Annoying or Boring Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Make Up with a Friend When You Just Don’t Want to Lose Them

No one likes fighting with friends, and we’re not talking about the “I saw him first” fights. It’s hard, but you can learn how to make up with a friend.

What a perfect article for me to write today. I literally had to put how to make up with a friend into practice a couple of days ago. It was our first major fight, and I started it. After traveling for one year, I came back to my hometown, only to find my best friend too busy to spend time with me. Of course, that left me upset and feeling abandoned.

I didn’t bring it up right away… it took me a while to muster up the courage to talk about it with her. We never argued before. But, eventually, I did. And it didn’t go well. We had a huge fight; there was yelling, hang-ups, and tears. It was everything you’d expect from a friendship-ending fight. I was pretty sure it was over.

But on the same day, we made up. Was it easy to do? No. But it was necessary. In my opinion, that fight made us stronger. We now spend more time talking; giving each other the attention we each need. And though it’s not perfect, we decided our relationship was worth fighting for. [Read: How to be a good friend and hone your friendship skills]

How to make up with a friend

If you had a fight with your friend, don’t throw the towel in just yet. You can recover, but it will take time and a lot of communication on both ends. If you’re ready to make up with a friend, it’s about time you read this. Hopefully, it’ll put you on the path to reconciliation.

If you don’t want to lose them, it’s time to learn how to make up with a friend.

#1 Did you cool off? I don’t know what the fight was about, but if it was intense, you are probably all wound up. It’s hard to reconcile when there’s heavy emotion between you. So, before you try to make up with your friend, cool down. You may need to take a day or two before you decide to talk to them, and honestly, that’s for the better. [Read: How to make lifelong friend and create a bond that lasts a lifetime]

#2 Are you ready to make up? Ask yourself this question before contacting them. Are you ready to make up with your friend? If they did something to you, reconciling may not happen as soon as you’d like. You need to be truly ready to resolve the conflict at hand.

#3 Talk to them in person. Sometimes you physically cannot see them in person *if you’re in another country, for example*, but if you can meet up with them, do it. If the fight was serious enough to consider ending the friendship, then face-to-face is the best way to resolve it. [Read: Don’t let these bad friendship skills push people away]

#4 Make the choice to talk about it. If you never want to talk to them again, that’s your decision. But not everyone can cut their friends out of their lives without talking first. If you want to talk about the issue with them, be prepared for the chance that the problem will not be resolved.

#5 Leave your excuses at the door. There’s always a reason why we said this or that, but the point is it was said and done. Don’t try to make up with a friend carrying a long list of excuses with you for protection. Admit the things you did were wrong, apologize *if you mean it*, and move on. No one wants to hear your excuses and vice versa.

#6 You can forgive and forget. Not everyone wants to bring up an issue that’s hurt them, and that’s okay. Even though I feel you should talk about the problem with them, you don’t need to. But remember, if you choose to forget, move on from it. You can’t bring it up five years later because you’re not over it. [Read: How to get your best friend back after a lot of misunderstanding]

#7 Say sorry if you mean it. If you’re not sorry, don’t apologize to your friend. They know you well enough to know when you’re full of crap. If you are sorry, then tell them. If you’re not sorry, don’t give a fake apology, it’ll hurt only them more.

#8 Look from their perspective. It’s a hard thing to do when you’re mad at someone, but it must be done. You won’t be able to resolve the conflict unless you look at the problem from their point of view. This can solve misunderstandings and help you understand their actions better.

#9 Give them space. No one wants to drag a fight on, but sometimes people need time to cool down and reflect on their actions. Don’t push to resolve the conflict if they’re not ready. Give them space. They need to sort out their feelings as well. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

#10 Take care of yourself. When you have a fight with your friend, it takes an emotional toll on you. While you work on fixing the relationship, take care of yourself. Practice self-care during these stressful times, so you don’t get too far deep into the conflict. Whether it’s meditating, working out, or seeing a therapist: heal yourself.

#11 Take a break. Don’t let the fight take over your life. Take a break from the mental and emotional weight by doing things you enjoy. Go swimming, watch a movie, and hang out with other friends. Try to give yourself some distraction time. 

#12 Write your feelings down. It’s easy for us to skew the situation in our minds and make up sentences or scenes that didn’t actually happen *you can thank the human brain for that*. I would write down what happened. It’s also good for emotional release, so you knock two birds with one stone. 

#13 Take outside judgment lightly. Your other friends and family are going to give you loads of advice, but you don’t need to listen to everyone. If you want to know how to make up with a friend, don’t let the opinions of other people cloud your emotions and opinions of the situation. 

#14 Tell them how much they mean to you. After all the tears and words, after everything, you need to remind them how much they mean to you. Only you know why you love your friend, and they need to know why your friendship is worth fighting for. [Read: How to be a good person – 12 small changes to transform your life] 

#15 Celebrate the friendship. If you made up, then you should do something fun together. Grab dinner, go out dancing, or for a walk. What’s important is after the fight, you celebrate the friendship and move on.

[Read: How to be a good friend by following the BFF code]

No one wants to be in a fight with their friends. But you can learn how to make up with a friend and move forward with the relationship. You just need to follow these tips.

The post How to Make Up with a Friend When You Just Don’t Want to Lose Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Good Luck On Your Test Wishes And Messages

Good Luck On Your Test Good luck on your test! The days you spent studying has led up to this day, and I know that you’re going to do great!…

The post 15 Good Luck On Your Test Wishes And Messages appeared first on Events Greetings.

Chocolate Day Wishes, Messages and Quotes

Chocolate Day Wishes : Valentine’s Week is underway and we are all a little closer to the day of love... More

The post Chocolate Day Wishes, Messages and Quotes appeared first on WishesMsg.

How to Control Your Girlfriend or Wife (in a Society that Frowns Upon That)

This Yuletide season, at a time of family, let's talk about maintaining a firm, guiding hand on your own relationships, so they do not slip away from you.

Because that is more difficult to do in our day than it has been at many points in history.

First off, let's address this: being 'controlling' in any sort of direct, overt way is completely forbidden in the modern West.

You aren't allowed to be controlling with friends. You aren't allowed to be controlling with employees. You aren't allowed to be controlling with children. And you especially are not allowed to be controlling with women.

Controlling women in any way is viewed at a societal level as the turf of weak, jealous, insecure men, who are unable to inspire devotion, and instead must use coercion.

Being 'controlling' is the domain of uneducated roughnecks, red necks, and ghetto hoods who lack the ability to communicate or empathize, who don't respect women, and who are, or inevitably will be, 'abusers'.

This article is not really about that kind of jealous, insecure attempt to control. Instead, it is about how to manage your girlfriend or wife in a way she benefits from and responds to, that makes your relationship healthier, and that meanwhile attracts as little social opprobrium as possible.

The Dilemma of Love: Should Dating Be Passionate or Practical?

If we don’t feel chemistry right off, we feel like we are settling, but too much passion can cloud our rationality. Should dating be passionate or practical?

Should dating be passionate or practical? This is one of the never-ending debates in the world of dating. Should you reach for the stars and hope for a love story like what is portrayed on The Notebook or Titanic? Or should you forego the passion and appreciate the other parts of dating, like intellect and conversation?

If dating is practical, it can feel like you’re settling for less than the romantic love story of your dreams. But, if it is passionate that could be all you have going for you.

Passion often clouds your judgment when it comes to dating. If there is a high level of chemistry and attraction right off the bat, those feelings can override your rational side. You may overlook red flags in favor of that strong whirlwind-like romance.

But, if it is all about practicality, you can feel bored or like you’re forcing a friendship to become more, at least in the beginning. So, which is better? Which is more likely to lead to a long-lasting relationship? Well, it depends. [Read: Don’t ignore these subtle red flags on your first date]

What is passionate dating like?

You know those romantic movie scenes where after one date, a couple is ripping each other’s clothes off and orgasming in under five minutes? That is dating founded on passion.

It is an overwhelming feeling. And it feels amazing. It causes a rush of adrenaline and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel excited and happy.

It can often be confused with love or love at first sight. A strong amount of passion right after meeting or dating someone can take over your other more rational traits. You may be a practical person. You may always think things through. But, passion often takes over your sensibilities.

It can be so strong that it leads you to make reckless decisions or act out of character.

[Read: The clearest ways to know if you’re feeling lust and not love]

Have you ever seen that couple that fights constantly, is jealous, and dysfunctional, yet they stay together unhappily because of the passion?

Now, this doesn’t mean passion is bad, not at all. Passion is magical and amazing when balanced with rational thought. It is what gives you butterflies and the ecstasy of romance.

Passion can lead to a successful relationship in many cases, as long as it isn’t all you have. If you are dating someone you find immensely attractive, that’s great. Maybe the sex is off the charts. That’s also great.

But if you can’t talk to them about your life, your opinions, or anything else, it would be very difficult to sustain that relationship. [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what real love truly feels like]

What is a practical dating like?

When you hear the words practical dating you probably think, BORING! You might think of the nice church boy your mom wants to set you up with, or the sweet but shy woman from accounting that you know has a crush on you.

Practical dating is probably not what you dreamed of as a child. It is not sexy or exciting. But, practical dating does not have to mean boring dates, low sex drive, and a lack of chemistry. Practical dating often starts with friendship. [Read: How to keep from moving too fast in a relationship]

When you go on a date with someone and don’t feel a spark, it feels like a failure. But, if you talked about politics, your childhood, and your obsession with an absurd 90’s sitcom, that can be sustained.

At first, it may feel like you’re leading someone on or that you’re more suited as friends. You may not kiss early on or even feel attracted to this person.

Sure, sometimes it never grows from that friendship, but oftentimes it does. When that happens, a relationship can truly take off and thrive.

Connecting over hobbies, a sense of humor, intellect, and more can all grow into something more with time. The reason a lot of us miss out on this is that we are looking for an immediate spark or connection.

But, if you can appreciate a date for their company and not their relationship potential, you never know what could come out of it. [Read: 15 signs you’ve graduated from puppy love to real love]

Should dating be passionate or practical?

Well, neither and both. Now that you know what both passionate and practical dating might feel like, you can tell that there are multiple benefits and downfalls to each.

And, with a clear cut description, you’ve probably realized that you’ve experienced them both before. A balance is what you want.

The thing is, almost no relationship starts with a balance. Balancing out practicality and passion comes with time and effort. During a first date or even the first few weeks or months of dating, things will probably pull more in one direction than the other.

In the beginning, you may not be able to keep your hands off each other. Or instead of an immediate spark, you could have a slow burn and slowly go from friends to more than that. [Read: Are you two just friends or way more than that already?]

In my experience passion can fade, then you don’t know what you’re left with. You can forego the key factors that make a relationship work like communication, humor, and patience because the passion is so intense. So, if things are passionate from the start, make sure you are also putting time and energy into the practical parts of a relationship.

Casual dating can thrive off of passion, but if you are looking for a long-lasting and meaningful relationship that survives the test of time, passion should be just one part of a balanced relationship.

But, if things start out practical, the passion can grow over time. The foundation of a relationship should be friendship. Once you have that connection, attraction and intimacy can spark.

I know it’s fiction, but think about Ross and Rachel, Luke and Lorelai, or Jim and Pam. It can take months or even years to take a friendship and make a romance out of it. It can actually enhance not only the intimacy, but also the success and happiness of a relationship.

Growing together with connections that are more sustainable than passion can make you appreciate it more when it does get there. Not to mention, almost every couple goes through ups and downs, and passion is rarely what helps you survive the hurdles. [Read: A good relationship? The lucky 13 signs that create the perfect one]

Trust, reliability, friendship, and humor can carry a relationship through decades. Love is not just chemistry or passion, nor is it friendship, it is a combined balance of the two.

I don’t know statistics, but I’m almost sure no marriage has worked out between two people whose only connection was sex or their hobbies. Growing and bonding over your connection with each other and the rest of life is what makes a relationship last.

So, with that, I recommend giving lackluster dates without a spark a second chance. Also, try to keep your rational mind turned on during more sexual stimulating dates. This way, you can focus on creating a balanced connection when dating.

[Read: The honest truth about true love that might surprise you]

Should dating be passionate or practical? Both! A relationship should make sense to your heart and your mind, and when it does, magic happens.

The post The Dilemma of Love: Should Dating Be Passionate or Practical? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Handle a Narcissist Without Falling Apart & Losing Yourself

If you have someone with narcissistic traits in your life, you need to learn how to handle a narcissist and maintain your own sense of self.

Everyone has heard the word ‘narcissist,’ but how many of you have actually encountered one for real? The fact that you’re reading this tells me that you either have a narcissist in your life, or you’re keen to learn about how to handle a narcissist if one ends up in your midst.

I’m going to write this from the point of view of someone who might be in a relationship with a narcissist. Remember that narcissism can affect every type of situation in life, from friendships to working relationships, family relationships to simple interactions with people who briefly enter your life.

What is a narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who displays an inflated sense of self, illusions of grandeur, and someone who simply cannot be wrong — ever. True narcissism is down to NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is a total lack of empathy.

A narcissist, a true one, cannot love in the same way as someone who isn’t affected by narcissism. It’s impossible to experience real love if you don’t have empathy for other people. As a result, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely hard and emotionally damaging.

[Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship? Should you stay or break free]

At the start, the narcissist will the epitome of charm, they’ll reel you in and leave you addicted to their presence. Then it will all change and they’ll show you their true colors.

I know this because I’ve been there myself.

Learning how to handle a narcissist comes down to your own strength in many ways. It’s also about knowing when enough really is enough. You do not have to be at the mercy of another person toying with your emotions for the hell of it. Yes, a true narcissist has a personality disorder and cannot actually help the way they are. It doesn’t mean you should put up with it. [Read: Why narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do]

Narcissism exists in many different degrees. You could have someone who only has a slight amount of narcissism. It’s easy to deal with them when they’re being their narcissistic self. However, there are those who are extremely narcissistic and difficult to be around. In that case, the only answer is to walk away.

For those of you who aren’t at that point yet, or simply don’t want to be, let’s look at how to handle a narcissist in the best way. [Read: How to stop giving the narcissist the attention they crave]

How to handle a narcissist

First things first, are you sure you’re actually dealing with a narcissist? Remember, we all have times when we’re a little mean to people we love, usually because we’re dealing with stress or some other issue in our lives. Just because your partner has been slightly narcissistic once doesn’t mean it will be repeated. If you notice signs of narcissism on a regular basis, you need to kickstart your coping mechanisms into gear.

It’s a good idea to do some research into the different types of narcissism. Find out where your partner’s trigger points are. For instance, a vulnerable narcissist is someone who actually deflects compliments. They do it so you’ll give them another one. In this case, they have a real self confidence problem and rely on others for self validation. [Read: What types of narcissism should you be on the lookout for?]

However, a regular narcissist is someone who believes they’re the best of the best, and anyone who disagrees is just downright wrong.

There are also dangerous types of narcissists, such a a malignant narcissist. In this case, just leave. Don’t try and handle them, just go. You will not leave this relationship in a good way if you stay.

Assuming you’re dealing with a regular or a vulnerable type, it’s important to set boundaries. The reason I say that is because they will push you and test your limits. When they understand where your limits are, they’ll pull back, and try and prod you closer to the edge again. They’re doing this to work out how far they can go. When you reach the end of your tether, they’ll likely turn back into the charming person you met and reel you back in.

The only way to get around this, if you choose to stay, is to set boundaries. [Read: A relationship with a narcissist and what it means to love one]

How to set boundaries with a narcissist

When setting boundaries understand your own limitations. Identify what you will and won’t put up with then tell your partner. Be firm! Tell them “if you do that again, I will walk away.” If they do it, you need to grab your things and go.

Of course, it might not be that drastic. You could say that if they do it again, you’ll just walk out and not talk to them. In that case, if they do it, you have to follow through with what you’ve said you’ll do . If you don’t, they’ll call your bluff time and time again. It’s all a game to a narcissist in many ways. Be firm and stick to your intentions.

The more you do this, and do what you say you’re going to do, the less likely your narcissist will carry on with that particular prodding behavior. Of course, they might find another way to test you, but you’ll simply repeat the process and almost train them to not do it.

In some ways, understanding how to deal with a narcissist is the same as teaching a child the difference between right from wrong. You are not wrong in what you’re doing. You’re not going insane when they tell you that they never said something and you know they did, and that you’re not going to be manipulated by gaslighting techniques. Be firm. Be strong. Always remember that if you need to walk away, you can. [Read: How to know when a narcissist is gaslighting you]

Knowing when to walk away

Part of how to handle a narcissist is also about knowing when enough is enough and you need to walk away. If your relationship wears you down, you become isolated from friends and family, if you feel like less than yourself, or you doubt your own sanity, recognize the signs and get out of there.

Yes, it will be hard. I know. I’ve done it myself.

You will question your decision time and time again. Yes, they will come running to try and change your mind. You have to be strong. Break free clinically, i.e. delete and block, take your things and go. Do not be tempted to call them or see them one last time. They will only drag you back. [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]

It’s important to remember that if you reach the end of your tether, the relationship is not going to change. They can’t change because narcissism is part of their personality and unless they’re prepared to admit fault and admit that they need help, and then follow through and get it. There is very little hope for the relationship. Very few narcissists actually ever admit they’re wrong, so admitting they need help is not likely.

Take yourself out of the situation by realizing you deserve better. Then, go out and get it.

[Read: The red flag signs you’re dating a narcissist and you need to get out now!]

Understanding how to handle a narcissist really comes down to understanding the condition, setting boundaries, doing what you say you’re going to do. Then, if necessary, walk the hell away.

The post How to Handle a Narcissist Without Falling Apart & Losing Yourself is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Sex Therapist

The “Sex Therapist” gambit focuses on cold reading and pacing. You guess something deep about her sexuality, then blow her mind with touch and sexual prizing.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will share another pickup and seduction gambit. This one is called The Sex Therapist.

The reason I've been sharing these gambits lately (besides serving as personal notes) is to not only give you great tools to use but also show examples of how you can create your own gambits to fit your style and personality. You can follow the exact recipe, or just take the concepts you like and craft your own tools of deadly mass seduction. That's why I always share the mechanisms at play, which serve as key lessons. Sharing gambits gives an overview of how many concepts can play together.

These gambits should also serve as inspiration.

I do this myself. Sometimes I deliver a gambit straight from the script; other times, I use modifications. Sometimes I use simplified versions (when I lack time or prefer to focus on something else). So, I’m not a robot delivering the same gambit after gambit.

My interactions are typically made up of:

• Scripted gambits

• Freestyling conversations that respond to her reaction (and her words), with some improvisation and even some fluff in between

• A variation of gambits calibrated to the situation and the girl

So, here is a gambit I use often. It is simple to pull off, accomplishes much, and also allows you multiple potential follow-ups.

Contents

I. The Sex Therapist Gambit

II. The Mechanisms at Play

1. Cold Reading and Pacing

III. Follow-Ups

1. Pacing
2. Sexual Prizing
3. Escalation

IV. Recap

This gambit is slightly less complex to understand since there are fewer fancy concepts at play. It requires the player to have his fundamentals down to get great results (good news: we have TONS of articles on fundamentals).

I’ve only used this gambit in night game.

It works best on non-freaky girls. These are girls who don’t have an apparent sexual presence or sexual confidence. Sadly, it is not always easy to figure out who is really sexual and who is not. (The way they act and dress can be misleading, and many are attention-whores in disguise.) But don’t worry if you use this gambit on one of these types, as it still works on them with some calibration. If you know you are dealing with such a girl, you should use more juicy gambits like the orgasm-control gambit or the eight types of orgasm gambit.

This gambit works best on more ordinary and normal girls with an average amount of sexual experience.

What Does It Mean to Be "Passionate"?

What are you passionate about? Do you even know? Let’s explore what fuels passion and how to discover what drives and fulfills you in work, life, and love.

What does it mean to be passionate? And why is it important to have passion?

One of the biggest problems I see in 99% of guys I work with is not knowing what to say to women. When I ask them what they’re passionate about, they shrug their shoulders. They have no clue. It’s a question they’ve never been asked or really thought about. No wonder their conversations with women are as interesting as talking to a toaster.

Contents

I. What Are You Passionate About?

II. What Does Passion Feel Like?

III. Why Do We Lose Our Passion?

IV. How to Become Passionate Again

V. Negative Passions

VI. Conclusion

Most of us are so addicted to consuming massive quantities of data from our smartphones that our brains become stuffed with garbage, most of which we can’t remember a few hours later.

It’s through sharing that we realize our passions, but we don’t share our thoughts in human, face-to-face interactions as much as we did before social media.

There’s a reason I make my coaching clients take notes, write field reports, and discuss their approaches with me and on forums. When you discuss things with other minds, you sort out the information and cement the lessons learned. When you get excited to share something with other people, that’s when you know you’re truly passionate about it.

So why is it important to feel passion, and to be passionate?

• It makes life worth living

• It’s a contagious and inspiring emotion that lifts people’s spirits and brings others closer to you

• It’s a strong motivator for creating, exploring, and improving

• It’s sexy

How to Transition into Sex Talk with a Girl by Using Proxies

Getting into sex talk with a girl can be super easy and low-risk if you use proxies, which means talking about other people rather than what you want to do with her.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. Today I will try to share a simple way to use sex talk for pickup and seduction.

The idea is to add sex talk as a technique without triggering resistance. This is for advanced and intermediate players as well as those with less experience.

Contents

I. What Would Guys Brag About?

II. Using a Proxy

III. Talking Generally About Sex

IV. Thread-Cutting

V. Eliciting Sexual Value

VI. Share Your Experience

VII. Recap

Sex talk, the act of talking about sex with women, can help us achieve many things, including:

• Setting a sexual frame, creating an underlying sexual meaning to the interaction. It eases the escalation into sex and makes it happen more quickly with less resistance.

• It arouses her. Sex talk is VERY stimulating to women.

• It can allow you to display attractive traits, like showing openness to sexuality and that you have sexual experience (sexual prizing).

• It’s a fun and captivating subject in itself.

Sex talk makes getting laid easier. But it can be a hard subject to get into, and perhaps a bit scary to some. You are prone to face resistance from her, usually in the form of anti-slut-defense (ASD). She may back off from your sexual advances to protect her reputation from the slut label.

So, as I present this sex talk technique, I have two intentions:

1. I want to make this technique low-risk.

2. It should also be intuitive to understand. It won’t require a ton of brainpower to learn or deliver properly.

Beginners typically prefer low-risk techniques because they may not have:

• The confidence (yet) to deliver more ballsy talk.

• The delivery skills that can help them get away with delivering bold stuff (advanced players on high momentum will notice they can get away with pretty outrageous things).

• The skills (yet) to do damage control and recover from failed attempts.

I will tell you how risk-free and easy this technique is. This won’t require long and fancy transitions. You can quickly and easily get to the juice. It’s not prone to cause resistance.

Many beginners struggle to get into sex talk, and I can understand why, since I consider it to be one of the hardest things to do.

Let’s get to it.

How to Do a 10-Minute Meditation that Eliminates Bad Emotions

I've been meditating since I was 18 years old.

That's half a lifetime ago for me now.

I didn't get into meditation as part of any kind of spiritual belief system.

I prayed as a child when I was a Christian. But by the time I started meditating, I was an atheist.

I'm more spiritual again now, happily (atheism was always an angry, dissonant, lonely belief system for me; I've never liked nihilism, but it's difficult to resist it when your foundation is rejection of the immaterial). That's led my meditation practice to become much deeper, and both more rewarding and also more useful.

However, the kind of meditation I'll talk about with you today is the kind I was doing when I believed in nothing other than the material. It was useful to me then, and I still use it today.

This may not be anything too new if you're a long-time meditator yourself.

But I know many folks aren't.

So today I'd like to introduce you to how to do a 10-minute meditation that clears away toxic thoughts, large pressures, and unhappy feelings.

13 Troubling Signs He’s Losing Interest in You & May Walk Away Soon

You really like him, but you’re noticing that he’s drifting away. If you’re scared you’re seeing the signs he’s losing interest in you, find out the truth.

It’s time to be real with yourself. Do you recognize any of these signs he’s losing interest in you? If you do, it could be true. Now, don’t get upset, it’s okay if he is. But what’s not okay is him treating you like this. By knowing the signs, you can talk to him and move on with your life without being played.

Sadly, not all things are meant to last.

It just happens

Once, I got really into the guy I was seeing very quickly. We would text all the time, go out together. I was starting to think it could turn into an actual relationship.

But at some point, the change happened. He stopped texting me and avoided going out with me. I mean, it was pretty clear things were taking a dark turn.

I remember sitting on the couch, asking myself, why? I don’t get it, we were great two days ago, and now he’s acting like I have the plague… what’s going on? Though I already knew the answer, I didn’t want to accept the truth. Of course, he got scared, but he also realized he wasn’t that into me. [Read: How to stop being strung along by a guy and take a stand]

13 dark signs he’s losing interest in you

Realizing that someone is losing interest in you is a hard thing to accept. You want every guy to want you. It’s how our egos work, unfortunately. If you’re feeling something is off, you’re not going crazy. Something is off, and it’s not you; it’s him.

#1 His attention suddenly drops. They think we don’t notice these things, but it’s so easy to read the signs he’s losing interest or playing you when you’re not important to them anymore. If his attention suddenly drops overnight, he’s losing interest. Maybe someone else came along, but it doesn’t matter what the reason why is. The point is his attention has shifted away from you dramatically. [Read: 9 signs your boyfriend is no longer in love with you]

#2 The sex is less intimate. You know when something is off in the bedroom. If the sex has changed, then something is definitely going on. He could have lost interest in you or met someone else, but either way, the sex isn’t as intimate as it once was. Also, if he’s only calling you for sex, he’s trying to change the relationship and make it more casual.

#3 He doesn’t text you anymore. He may send you a text here and there, but he doesn’t text you like he used to. In my experience, he’s just trying to keep things warm between you if his other plans don’t work out. You know that’s lame, and you don’t deserve that. If he isn’t texting you like he used to, it’s a big red flag. [Read: 10 guys to stop dating if you want real love]

#4 He’s suddenly super busy. Come on, you know if you really like someone, you make time for them no matter how busy you are. When we like someone, we make them a priority. But if he’s suddenly very busy and can’t spend even five minutes with you, something is up. Unless… he’s actually a busy guy.

#5 No talks of the future. You used to mention doing things in the future, but now, all you hear are crickets. He’s avoiding to bring up any conversations about traveling in the summer or moving in together. And he’s only avoiding this because it’s not something he sees in his future anymore. In other words, this is one of the big signs he’s losing interest in you. [Read: Why men pull away – The reasons and what you can do]

#6 He only talks about himself. He used to ask you questions about yourself because he was interested in getting to know you. But now, he doesn’t want to know anything personal about you. He’s trying to keep things basic and simple. The less he knows about you, the easier it is for him to move on. So, the conversations are mostly about him, because, at the end of the day, he will always love himself.

#7 There’s no light in his eyes. It sounds a little poetic, right? Well, listen, in reality, it’s not as dreamy. In the beginning, when he would see you, his eyes would light up with happiness. But now, when he looks at you, there’s no twinkle, no look of love. He’s not excited anymore to see you, and that’s not a good sign.

#8 It’s only sex. You used to go on dates, have dinners with each other’s families, but now, there’s nothing. The only thing you do is watch TV and have sex. Other than that, everything else is over. If this is happening, then you need to realize the relationship is over and he’s just sticking around to get laid.

#9 It’s become one-sided. You used to work as a team and put in the same amount of effort in the relationship, but now you’re the only one doing the work. At least, that’s what it feels like. You text him first, you make plans to hang out. If it wasn’t for you, there would be no relationship. And that’s the problem. [Read: Are you wasting time in a one-sided relationship?]

#10 There’s no sex. When you like someone, you want to have sex with them, right? I mean, it’s only normal to have those feelings and desires. But, you don’t have sex anymore. Of course, it could just be a dry patch, but if you’re not having sex and you see other signs on this list, that’s no dry patch.

#11 He takes forever to respond. When you text him, he doesn’t reply in a couple of minutes, he takes hours to reply to you. We all know that’s a bad sign. When you like someone, you make sure you text them as soon as you can. But to take hours to reply to someone isn’t going to cut it, especially when we’re all glued to our phones.

#12 He talks about changing the relationship. He hasn’t completely lost interest in you, so he doesn’t want to break-up just yet. So, he’ll talk to you about having a more casual and open relationship. Well, this is a sign that he wants to see other women, which isn’t a bad thing. But keeping you on the side isn’t very nice. [Read: 15 signs you’re being led on and they’re taking you nowhere!]

#13 You know something is off. You’re a woman, which means you have crazy intuition. So, why don’t you be true to yourself and listen to it? If you feel something is off, that’s because something is off. Don’t give yourself excuses, listen to yourself. Your gut is a powerful tool. It may be hard to break off the relationship, but it’s what your gut is telling you to do.

[Read: This is how you know a guy is stringing you along]

If you see many of these signs he’s losing interest in you, don’t just stand by and let it happen. Confront him and talk about it. Don’t let him decide where the relationship will go.

The post 13 Troubling Signs He’s Losing Interest in You & May Walk Away Soon is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Ignore People & Avoid Getting Into a Conversation with Them

Sometimes we must deal with difficult people who never fail to ruin your day. Learn how to ignore people like this and keep your mood intact.

Understanding how to ignore people ready to rain on your day if they take the form of a boss, co-worker, classmate, or even a family member, means you must deal with them at some point. Social decorum teaches us to be civil or formal in interacting with them… so running the other way at first sight isn’t an option.

How to ignore people who might ruin your day

Luckily, there are effective ways to ignore *or minimize* the difficult people in your life. With these mild antisocial tactics, you can cleverly avoid prolonged interaction with them.

#1 Block them on social media. If they’re on your social media, remove their visual presence by blocking them. Or go a step further and remove them from your contacts list. It will send an obvious message that you don’t want any interaction, real world or virtual. [Read: Social media and relationships: The good, the bad, the ugly]

#2 Change your visibility status in social media. Another way to prevent unwanted people from starting an online conversation is to change your visibility status. Then you appear permanently offline.

Most social media sites and instant messaging apps have such a feature if you don’t want to be in an awkward situation. No more explaining about why they were blocked from your contacts list.

#3 Use the occasional “middle man” to communicate with them. Are you in a situation where communication is a must but you’re so compelled to avoid the person you need to talk to? Use a messenger to convey what you want! Ask a close friend or a co-worker who owes you a favor to deliver the message. Spare yourself the stress and effort of dealing with the person. [Read: Clever ways to get out of an annoying conversation]

#4 Walk quickly away from them. If you happen to spot the person you hate in the vicinity and they haven’t spotted you yet, grab the opportunity to flee the immediate area. Use the crowd around you as a convenient hiding place so that the person won’t get the chance to notice you.

#5 Wear headphones. Big headphones with accompanying music will not only keep you focused and entertained while working, they can also serve as a big “do not disturb” sign to people who may otherwise attempt to approach you. If you want to know how to ignore people, remember that big headphones are more effective since those tiny ear buds won’t be noticeable from a few feet away.

#6 Avoid eye contact with them. Wilderness survival teaches us that avoiding eye contact will save you from a potential attack in case a wild animal is encountered. The same principle also applies to people you don’t want to deal with in any way. Making eye contact is a form of acknowledgement which will invite further conversation. So, if you want to prevent social interaction from even happening, avoid eye contact at all costs.

#7 Act like you’re in a hurry when you’re about to pass them. What do you usually do when you meet a person in a hurry? In such situations, we usually step aside and leave them be. With that thought, act like you’re in a hurry to get somewhere in case you’re about to encounter an annoying person who’s likely to start up a conversation. [Read: All the Clever ways to get out of an annoying conversation]

#8 Make yourself appear busy. Acting busy is a good way to wiggle out of a conversation started by a person you badly want to ignore. You can do this by appearing distracted while they’re talking, switching from giving the person attention and back to focusing on your work, and giving abrupt responses.

If the person has a sense of propriety, they will feel that they’re interrupting and intruding on your work time and will eventually leave you alone.

#9 Use the “I need to make a quick call” tactic. This is effective when you’re wondering how to ignore people, or if you find yourself unable to dodge them and get trapped in an uncomfortable conversation. Engage the person for a little bit, then whip out your exit ticket excuse. You badly need to make an urgent call related to a family emergency or another similar ruse. Watch the magic unfold as the person apologetically lets you go for you to make your sweet escape. [Read: How to recognize emotionally unstable people for less drama in your life]

#10 Act like you’re upset or in a bad mood when they’re in close proximity. If the person you’re trying to ignore is known to be persistent and overbearing, pretend that you’re upset or in a bad mood. It will probably be the best way to ignore them.

People usually back off from visibly upset people to avoid making the situation worse. If they attempt to approach you looking like you’re about to burst with emotion, they will reconsider the attempt and leave you alone.

#11 Keep your responses short in conversations. If you want a tip that would provide long-term benefits, give out terse responses every time you have a conversation with the unwanted person. It will give them the idea that you are a boring conversation partner. After a few encounters, they will learn not to speak to you again. [Read: 8 things you do that makes you boring and annoying around people]

#12 Be uncomfortably formal and professional with them. This tactic on how to ignore people works the same way as the previous. By deliberately being formal or professional with the person you’re avoiding, you create a sort of social distance that discourages the person from becoming chummy with you.

By keeping things formal and professional, you send a message that you’re not interested in becoming friendly with the person. Eventually, they will either limit your interactions strictly to business topics, or stop approaching you altogether.

#13 Avoid the places they usually hang out in your area. Logic tells us that to avoid encountering undesirables, avoid the places they usually frequent. This involves knowing where the person usually hangs out to socialize and never setting your foot in those places to prevent falling prey to their inanities.

#14 Avoid taking their usual route to avoid bumping into them. What’s worse than encountering an unwanted person in a place of relaxation? Well, suffering their company on your commute. Persistent ones even tag along and constantly interrupt your morning daydream with an annoying conversation.

To avoid getting caught in this trap, fish out their usual route. Next, avoid it to prevent getting your morning commute getting ambushed. [Read: 10 ways to calmly deal with difficult people]

#15 Use other friends or co-workers. Ignoring a person sometimes requires the assistance of your friends or sympathetic co-workers. To work, you must be in close proximity to a “rescue posse.” Easily fall back into the group in case you encounter the person you want to ignore.

If the person starts engaging you, quickly divert your attention and engage your back-up. This way, the person’s attention gets diffused into the crowd. Then, easily slip away once your opponent is distracted.

[Read: How to set boundaries with difficult people]

There will always be annoying people in your life that you’ll want to learn how to ignore. While completely shutting them out isn’t an option, there are clever tactics to minimize interaction with them without seeming rude.

The post How to Ignore People & Avoid Getting Into a Conversation with Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Beginning of the End? What Is a Break in a Relationship Exactly?

If you’re thinking about taking some time apart from your partner, you might be wondering what is a break in a relationship exactly? What does it mean?

Relationships take hard work and a lot of compromise. Sometimes you reach the point where you really can’t take much more. When this happens, you have two choices. You either walk away for good, or you take a break and see what a little time does for the two of you. So, what is a break in a relationship exactly?

If you’re currently going through a difficult patch, you might be unsure what to do. In that case, you might be considering taking a break, and does it really mean the end, or just a hiatus?

For many couples a little time apart actually turns out to be a good thing. A fresh perspective is gained, a new appreciation is developed, and everything causing the rift to begin with is seen through clearer eyes.

Of course, sometimes a break turns out to be a precursor to an actual break up too. In some cases, the couple find that they enjoy spending time away from each other, to the point where spending time together is a drag. In this case, you’ve really reached the end of the road.

[Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

There’s no way to know beforehand how a break will affect your relationship. All you can do is reach that point and figure out whether attempting to take a break is something you both want. Of course, it might be that one of you wants it but the other doesn’t. In that case, what do you do?

Talk about it. That’s the only answer. Discuss the problem maturely and with open eyes. See if there is any way to compromise. If not, you really can’t force someone to stay in a relationship, temporary or permanent, when they’re keen for a little time alone. In that case, see where the land lies once a little time has passed. [Read: Time apart in a relationship – 15 reasons why people want it and how to give it]

What is a break in a relationship in reality? What does it actually mean?

It simply means that you need some time to process what is going on, how you feel, and where to go from this point. It doesn’t always mean the end. In some cases it can simply mean a quick pitstop to breathe a little.

Relationships can be overwhelming from time to time, especially when intense feelings are involved. If something has happened, e.g. one partner has cheated, there are constant arguments, or another issue has arisen, time away to gain a new perspective and really see things for what they are is best. When you’re around your partner 24/7, it can be difficult to see things clearly.

[Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]

Of course, that doesn’t make the idea of a break any less worrying. If you’re the partner who doesn’t necessarily want the break, simply trust the process and see what happens. If you’re not willing to do so, really explore in your own mind where you think the relationship is going to go.

The key point to remember is that if you’re really thinking ‘what is a break in a relationship and how might it work for us?’ then you have reached a point where time is probably the only thing that could save the relationship.

In this case, you both must be very clear about what you’re doing and reassure each other that this doesn’t mean you’re splitting up. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship. [Read: How to pull back and reignite the sparks in a smothered relationship]

In reality, it simply means that you’re taking a little vacation from each other, some time to spend on yourselves and to really think about what you want. Of course, it also gives you the time to think about anything that has happened during your relationship which you might not be sure how you really feel about in the heat of the moment, or when you’re so close to your partner.

Should there be rules in place during a break?

Certainly.

Firstly, both partners should agree. While one might be reluctant, there must be an agreement. Otherwise, it’s just one partner going off on their own and leaving the other one confused.

Once the agreement has been made, sit down together and specify how long the break is going to last. What is a break in a relationship and what it isn’t really comes down to what you do during the break and how long it goes.

Set a time limit, perhaps a few weeks or maybe even a month or two. Then agree to come back together to see where you’re both at when that time arrives. You might be keen and eager to start things up again and ready to overcome your problems by that time, or you might be quite sure that the break was a good way to understand that you’re not meant to be together.

Next, specify what is and isn’t allowed during the break. Sure, you’re not actually with your partner during this time, but you’re not apart either. There is a grey area which should be respected. Think about Ross and Rachel in Friends. They were on a break! Yes, but did it stop Rachel from being hurt when Ross slept with someone else? No, and it would hurt you the same.

So, are you going to see other people during this time? If so, you both need to be okay with it. If one person isn’t okay with it, it’s not allowed. Or, more likely, are you not going to see other people and simply spend time on reflection and indulging in a little ‘me’ time?

Decide between yourselves. Agree on what is and isn’t allowed during this time, then respect those rules. Yes, you’re not actually actively dating or in a relationship, but you’re not single. Stay keenly aware of it at all times. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship actually works]

What if the break signals the end?

If so, face up to the fact that your relationship just wasn’t meant to last the test of time.

It’s sad, but many relationships just don’t last. You can choose to stay friends with your ex-partner or you can cut all ties. Remember, it doesn’t stop it hurting any less simply because you were on a break before deciding to call the whole thing off. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples must go through]

However, being on a break doesn’t mean that the end is near. It actually means that you’re placing importance on your relationship because you can see that action must be taken before something drastic happens. When we simply stay in unhappy relationships for the hell of it, it’s bound to come to a rather messy end. When we think about what might actually help, you could actually divert your path and find long-lasting happiness together.

The ironic thing about a break is that they actually show you what you’re missing, when you might have taken it for granted. In that case, the time you spend apart could be the best *and most difficult* thing you ever do.

[Read: The rules you should follow if you’re taking a relationship break]

Still wondering, what is a break in a relationship really and if that’s for you? If you’re seriously thinking about spending a little time away from your partner, clearly communicate your reasons for doing so to avoid hurt and confusion.

The post Beginning of the End? What Is a Break in a Relationship Exactly? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Please a Man with Your Mouth: 13 Lip Smacking Blowjob Tips

You want to blow your man’s mind, but you’re not sure what to do. Well, step up your oral sex game by learning how to please a man with your mouth.

Oral sex isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your friends may have explained it to you, or you watched a movie where they were cracking jokes about it. But when it comes knowing how to please a man with your mouth, there’s an art to it.

It’s not just going up and down, hoping for the best. Of course, knowing the basics is a must, but you’re beyond that. You have everything down. Now you want to go the next step to impress your man.

When it comes to sex, it’s not a competition. Of course, we all have egos and want to be the best at everything, but that takes time.

[Read: Hot blowjob secrets you have to try on your man]

How to please a man with your mouth

You probably already know the basics, and if you do, you’re at a great start. But, you probably want to spice things up a bit and switch up the routine. If you want to ‘wow’ your partner, it’s about time you tried some new techniques. [Read: 12 blowjob basics you have to master to be a pro in bed]

So, that’s why I’m here. If you want to know how please a man with your mouth, it’s time to know how to do it. Go on, shock him with your mouth.

#1 Do you enjoy it? This is a question you need to ask yourself. Do you enjoy performing oral sex? Not everyone does, and that’s okay. But if you’re forcing yourself to do it when you don’t enjoy it, it’s not going to work. No matter what technique you use, it’ll never be truly mind blowing because you don’t like it. So, think about this before going any further. [Read: The questions about sex most of us are too shy to ask about]

#2 Be spontaneous. If you two are watching a movie or driving home from work, why not turn the situation into a quick oral sex session? He would have never expected it and that’s the fun. If you are in a rut, this is a great way to spice things up and ignite the spark again. You don’t need to wait to be in bed to arouse your partner.

#3 Try to edge. This will require you to know when he’s aroused, but if you know him well enough, this will work perfectly. When your man is close to ejaculating, instead of going all the way, slow down or stop completely.

As he relaxes, go back and build up the arousal again. You can do this over and over again, building up a strong orgasm. But this only works with communication and focusing on his arousal signs. [Read: How to orgasm harder and better with edging]

#4 Add some sound effects. When performing oral sex, not many of us are vocal. But that’s a huge component for men during oral sex. By moaning and groaning, it’s arousing to hear enthusiasm. If you like dirty talk, add that into your oral sex routine. You don’t need to be completely silent. [Read: How to moan without sounding like a dying walrus]

#5 Focus on other erogenous zones. When performing oral sex, it’s normal to focus solely on the penis. But men are full of erogenous zones; you’re just not paying attention to them. Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander around his body; touching his nipples, inner thighs, ass, and arms. If he likes anal play, gently explore his backdoor. 

#6 The wetter, the better. Oral sex is all about sensation. Any easy way to please your man with your mouth is by using more saliva. If you don’t have much saliva, use a flavored water-based lubricant. When it comes to oral sex, wetter is always better.

#7 Don’t forget the prostate. The prostate is always forgotten; it’s heavily underrated. But it’s only one of the biggest erogenous zones in a man’s body. If you stimulate it properly, he’ll go crazy. The prostate is essentially the male G-spot.

With a lubed finger, rub around his anus. If he allows you, insert your index finger two inches into the anus, you should feel his prostate. Once you feel it, stroke it gently. You can perform oral sex at the same time or try this to give your mouth a break. [Read: How to find and stimulate the male g-spot]

#8 Play with temperature. When you’re sexually aroused, your body temperature increases. So, if you counter it with something cool, it’ll send a jolt to your senses. Whether it’s a fan or your cold breath, play around with cold air between his legs. It’ll send him over the edge.

#9 Say hello to the testicles. They’re right there, but they always seem to get ignored. The testicles are very sensitive, which makes them great candidates for some tongue action. Lick or gently suck the testicles while giving your partner a handjob.

#10 Try out a foot job. Maybe you’ve seen it done in porn, and it looks a lot easier than it is. But if you’ve been hitting the gym and have a decent core, try giving your man a foot job. Lube his penis, and wrap your feet around it, gently twisting the shaft while moving up and down. [Read: Have you ever heard of the finger blowjob?]

#11 You don’t need to deep throat. Thanks to porn, when it comes to learning how to please a man with your mouth, it’s assumed that oral sex needs to consist of deep throating, but that’s wrong. You don’t need to deep throat the penis. Instead, wrap your hands around the bottom of the shaft and place the rest in your mouth. Gagging isn’t fun for anyone.

#12 Ditch the game plan. You probably have a routine of how you give head. But it’s time to ditch the routine. Try giving head without thinking about the next step. It’ll be more exciting and unexpected for the both of you. Instead, go with the flow and the chemistry between you and your man. [Read: 16 sex tips for women to make sex so much more exciting]

#13 Listen to your partner. You can blow your partner’s mind just by paying more attention to his reactions and direction. If he suggests to try this or that, do it. He’s not saying this as a joke or to mess things up; he’s stating his preferences. The best blow jobs are the ones where you’re listening to your partner and vice versa.

[Read: The slow blow job and how to leave your man irrationally horny]

Oral sex is an important part of intimacy for both, men and women. Now that you know how to please a man with your mouth, why don’t you give them a try?

The post How to Please a Man with Your Mouth: 13 Lip Smacking Blowjob Tips is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Teddy Day 2020 : Wishes, Messages and Quotes

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How to Slow Down a Relationship: Take Your Time & Enjoy the Romance

When there is a lot of chemistry, things can take off quickly and get too intense. Instead, learn how to slow down a relationship and take your time.

Every relationship moves at its own pace, but to be healthy and thriving, that pace needs to feel comfortable for both people. If you want things to last, it is often best to learn how to slow down a relationship and take your time getting to know each other.

It isn’t rare for a new relationship to blossom quickly. When strong feelings, especially physical ones, are involved things can get out of hand. It may feel good in the moment, but moving too fast can lead to a commitment you’re not ready for or a serious relationship with someone you barely know.

How NOT to slow down a relationship

Everyone moves at different paces when it comes to relationships. You may feel like things are going too fast while your partner is perfectly content the way things are.

Although there are a plethora of ways to slow down a relationship and take your time, there are some ways it certainly shouldn’t be done.

[Read: How to keep from moving too fast in a new relationship]

#1 Ignore them. When you are just starting a new relationship and it feels like it is going too fast, it can be scary. That makes it easier to slam on the brakes by yourself. But, just because things are too fast doesn’t mean you can’t ease them down without full-on ghosting.

Let them know you like them but that you’re a little freaked out with the current pace of the relationship. You want to slow things down so you can feel comfortable. [Read: The right way to play the chase in love]

#2 Pull away. Maybe you’re not scared enough of going too fast that you ghost, but pulling away without saying why is nearly as bad. If you keep spending time with this person but are less talkative or intimate, it could end things right there and then.

If you’re wondering how to slow down a relationship without things getting weird, pulling away on your own terms isn’t fair nor will it be successful. Try to get on the same page.

#3 See other people. Relationships can feel like they are moving too fast because of commitment. Sometimes you still want to feel things out and date casually without losing touch completely. I get it but don’t just see other people on the side. Not only will this confuse things for you, but if they find out it could go south really quickly.

Always keep your partner in the loop about your dating life. Maybe if you just started seeing someone, and you think it is no big deal. If things are going fast and you want to slow down the relationship, your new partner may assume you’re monogamous. It is always better to hear it from you. [Read: How to date multiple people without being shady or called a cheater]

How to slow down a relationship the right way

Now that you know what not to do when you want to slow down a relationship, it is time to take some positive advice. These are the things you can and should do when you are feeling nervous or hesitant about how fast things are moving.

Now, this can go for a relationship that is moving too fast physically, emotionally, or both.

Whether you don’t want to meet your partner’s family yet, feel like you’re spending too much time together, or your emotions are freaking you out and you need to catch your breath, these should help you learn how to slow down a relationship so you can enjoy your relationship instead of fearing it.

#1 Tell them how you feel. This is the simplest way to slow down a relationship that is moving too fast for you. Talk to your partner. Let them know that you love spending time with them but that you just want to live in the moment more.

Let them know you weren’t planning on feeling so strongly for them and it is making you nervous. Ensure that they understand you aren’t ending things but just pumping the brakes a little. You want to take a Sunday drive, not a lap around the race track. And don’t forget to ask how they feel.

Are they happy how things are now? Are they okay slowing things down so you’re more comfortable? Try to get on the same page. [Read: Are you in an instant relationship? Here’s why you need to slow down]

#2 Hang out in groups. If you still want to see the person you’re dating regularly, but maybe want to slow things down with the romance or physical aspects, plan more group dates. Go on double dates or group settings like escape rooms or mini-golf.

This will keep you in each other’s lives and allow you to get to know one another but without the pressure of one-on-one time.

#3 Spend time with your other friends. New relationships can sort of take over our lives. We may not cancel plans with friends to hang out with our new significant other, but we may be busy with them. Try to get your friends together.

Go do things you would have done before this new relationship. Then it doesn’t feel like it is taking over. This new relationship should ease into your life, not be what it revolves around. This also helps to set boundaries down the line. You should always have your own friends and time to yourself no matter how serious things get. [Read: How to pull back in a relationship when you’re giving too much]

#4 Avoid making plans too far in advance. If you have been dating for three months and are making plans for a concert eight months from now, it can feel like you are moving way faster than you are. Making plans that far in advance can seem nice because it says you want to be together that long. But it can be intense early on.

#5 Don’t text so much. It can seem like the norm to text each other every waking hour. It is so unnecessary. Not only is talking that much in the beginning A LOT, but it can feel smothering.

You can text good morning and maybe a funny meme you saw at lunch. Then catch up after work or before bed. You don’t need to keep a full conversation going all day long. That is a lot of pressure and commitment when you have a job, friends, hobbies, and more to focus on. [Read: 8 little texting mistakes new couples make all the time]

#6 Don’t spend more than a few hours together at a time. I once got into a relationship super quickly, and it didn’t feel wrong at the time. The reason we rushed it was because we lived far apart. Instead of going on a date for a couple of hours, we spent the entire day together to make the drive worth it.

When you spend that much time together early on, it really pushes you together. You get used to having that person around all the time. It feels comfortable but you still really don’t know each other that well. Keep dates limited to a few hours and then you can move it up over time. [Read: Why saying ‘I love you’ too soon just completely sucks!]

#7 Enjoy your time together. Try not to focus too much on what is going to happen. If you are too worried about moving too fast or too slow, you won’t really enjoy your time together. Live in the moment.

Have a conversation about how you both feel and then get back to your date and getting to know each other. That is the most important part. [Read: Casual date ideas for a dreamy, fun date]

#8 Keep it fun. Keep things light and fun. Don’t go on heavily romantic dates. Avoid the candlelit dinners and carriage rides. Go bowling and see an exotic band or hang out with a new group. This will help you get to know each other without too much pressure to fall in love. This way you can just have a good time. Then, see what happens.

[Read: 18 tips to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]

Rushing into a relationship can seem like a romantic fairytale, but it often ends in disaster. Learning how to slow down a relationship and really take your time can be exactly what you need to find the one.

The post How to Slow Down a Relationship: Take Your Time & Enjoy the Romance is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.