How to Make Up with a Friend When You Just Don’t Want to Lose Them

No one likes fighting with friends, and we’re not talking about the “I saw him first” fights. It’s hard, but you can learn how to make up with a friend.

What a perfect article for me to write today. I literally had to put how to make up with a friend into practice a couple of days ago. It was our first major fight, and I started it. After traveling for one year, I came back to my hometown, only to find my best friend too busy to spend time with me. Of course, that left me upset and feeling abandoned.

I didn’t bring it up right away… it took me a while to muster up the courage to talk about it with her. We never argued before. But, eventually, I did. And it didn’t go well. We had a huge fight; there was yelling, hang-ups, and tears. It was everything you’d expect from a friendship-ending fight. I was pretty sure it was over.

But on the same day, we made up. Was it easy to do? No. But it was necessary. In my opinion, that fight made us stronger. We now spend more time talking; giving each other the attention we each need. And though it’s not perfect, we decided our relationship was worth fighting for. [Read: How to be a good friend and hone your friendship skills]

How to make up with a friend

If you had a fight with your friend, don’t throw the towel in just yet. You can recover, but it will take time and a lot of communication on both ends. If you’re ready to make up with a friend, it’s about time you read this. Hopefully, it’ll put you on the path to reconciliation.

If you don’t want to lose them, it’s time to learn how to make up with a friend.

#1 Did you cool off? I don’t know what the fight was about, but if it was intense, you are probably all wound up. It’s hard to reconcile when there’s heavy emotion between you. So, before you try to make up with your friend, cool down. You may need to take a day or two before you decide to talk to them, and honestly, that’s for the better. [Read: How to make lifelong friend and create a bond that lasts a lifetime]

#2 Are you ready to make up? Ask yourself this question before contacting them. Are you ready to make up with your friend? If they did something to you, reconciling may not happen as soon as you’d like. You need to be truly ready to resolve the conflict at hand.

#3 Talk to them in person. Sometimes you physically cannot see them in person *if you’re in another country, for example*, but if you can meet up with them, do it. If the fight was serious enough to consider ending the friendship, then face-to-face is the best way to resolve it. [Read: Don’t let these bad friendship skills push people away]

#4 Make the choice to talk about it. If you never want to talk to them again, that’s your decision. But not everyone can cut their friends out of their lives without talking first. If you want to talk about the issue with them, be prepared for the chance that the problem will not be resolved.

#5 Leave your excuses at the door. There’s always a reason why we said this or that, but the point is it was said and done. Don’t try to make up with a friend carrying a long list of excuses with you for protection. Admit the things you did were wrong, apologize *if you mean it*, and move on. No one wants to hear your excuses and vice versa.

#6 You can forgive and forget. Not everyone wants to bring up an issue that’s hurt them, and that’s okay. Even though I feel you should talk about the problem with them, you don’t need to. But remember, if you choose to forget, move on from it. You can’t bring it up five years later because you’re not over it. [Read: How to get your best friend back after a lot of misunderstanding]

#7 Say sorry if you mean it. If you’re not sorry, don’t apologize to your friend. They know you well enough to know when you’re full of crap. If you are sorry, then tell them. If you’re not sorry, don’t give a fake apology, it’ll hurt only them more.

#8 Look from their perspective. It’s a hard thing to do when you’re mad at someone, but it must be done. You won’t be able to resolve the conflict unless you look at the problem from their point of view. This can solve misunderstandings and help you understand their actions better.

#9 Give them space. No one wants to drag a fight on, but sometimes people need time to cool down and reflect on their actions. Don’t push to resolve the conflict if they’re not ready. Give them space. They need to sort out their feelings as well. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

#10 Take care of yourself. When you have a fight with your friend, it takes an emotional toll on you. While you work on fixing the relationship, take care of yourself. Practice self-care during these stressful times, so you don’t get too far deep into the conflict. Whether it’s meditating, working out, or seeing a therapist: heal yourself.

#11 Take a break. Don’t let the fight take over your life. Take a break from the mental and emotional weight by doing things you enjoy. Go swimming, watch a movie, and hang out with other friends. Try to give yourself some distraction time. 

#12 Write your feelings down. It’s easy for us to skew the situation in our minds and make up sentences or scenes that didn’t actually happen *you can thank the human brain for that*. I would write down what happened. It’s also good for emotional release, so you knock two birds with one stone. 

#13 Take outside judgment lightly. Your other friends and family are going to give you loads of advice, but you don’t need to listen to everyone. If you want to know how to make up with a friend, don’t let the opinions of other people cloud your emotions and opinions of the situation. 

#14 Tell them how much they mean to you. After all the tears and words, after everything, you need to remind them how much they mean to you. Only you know why you love your friend, and they need to know why your friendship is worth fighting for. [Read: How to be a good person – 12 small changes to transform your life] 

#15 Celebrate the friendship. If you made up, then you should do something fun together. Grab dinner, go out dancing, or for a walk. What’s important is after the fight, you celebrate the friendship and move on.

[Read: How to be a good friend by following the BFF code]

No one wants to be in a fight with their friends. But you can learn how to make up with a friend and move forward with the relationship. You just need to follow these tips.

The post How to Make Up with a Friend When You Just Don’t Want to Lose Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.