Mental Masturbation: A Pleasurable Yet Unproductive Activity

Mental masturbation, the act of wasting valuable brainpower on pointless thoughts, is a game killer.

I had a coaching client recently who asked if I could answer a few questions. I said sure, expecting the usual “How do you know what to say to girls?” or “How do I get over my approach anxiety?” Instead, he sent me a list of 20 incredibly complex queries, including doozies like the following.

(Note, if the author is reading, I love you, bro: this is for your benefit.)

Here’s #2 from his list:

“What have you found in terms of the structure you would talk to a girl in terms of: Questions, Statements, Cold-reads, Roleplaying, Teasing, Paraphrasing, Facial/Body/Hand Expressions and Gestures, Flirting, Pretending, Imagine, Advice, Helping, Acting, Deep diving, Humor, Sexuality, Storytelling, Relating, Apologizing, Compliments, Kino, Reinstating for understanding, Leading, Protection, Boredom, and Silence? How do emotions also play a role in the structure, are there things to look out for and a general rule for how to get back on the rails without looking desperate, needy, or fake, rather than someone she desires?”

Translation: “How do I speak confidently to women, without running out of things to say?”

Answer: Study, practice, study, practice.

Here’s another:

“How do you manage crossovers, so when two people want or believe something different about each other, but only one believes, or situations that can work at a time due to conflicting matters? Or it is impossible? How can it be steered in your direction rather than being a pushover? How dominant is the optimum, and where is the balance if there needs to be because her attraction starts dropping due to conflicting beliefs? For example, a real situation I have had, you are talking to a girl, and she believes that listening to music is not inspiring when you believe it is, and you have already stated that, but she will not change her mind on the topic regardless?”

Translation: “When should I agree or disagree with women?”

Answer: Studies have shown when someone initially disagrees and then switches their opinion, that person becomes less attractive. In general, you don’t want to be a pushover, a limp noodle who changes opinions based on the likelihood of getting laid. Women are especially good at detecting BS. It’s usually better to either tell the truth about your feelings and beliefs or say “No comment.”