How to Act on a First Date: The Little Details that Play a Big Part

Dating is hard, and first dates are always nerve-racking. But, learning how to act on a first date to make a good impression doesn’t have to be so bad.

First dates are loaded with anxiety, nerves, and pressure. Whether you know each other or this is your first time meeting, knowing how to act on a first date is baffling.

Should you act interested? Should you flirt? Or should you play hard to get? Should you seem neutral and nonchalant?

You want to make a good impression on a first date. You don’t want to scare your date off or bore them to death. So, how are you supposed to act on a first date? [Read: What you should do on a first date to make them fall for you]

How to act on a first date when you just met

Going on a first date with someone you know, even in passing, let’s you relax a bit. But, when your first date is also your first meeting ,everything from greeting them to how to excuse yourself to use the bathroom can be awkward.

Just meeting someone through a blind date or online dating is scary for tons of reasons, but knowing how to act on a first date is something that doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

You may want to play it cool and act like you’re not too interested. Or you may want to make them comfortable by acting more interested than you are. Or maybe you just don’t know how to act on a first date at all. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the very first conversation]

But, my advice when your first date is also the first time your meeting them is to act as normal as possible. Try not to be too perky or energized or nonchalant. Be yourself.

I know it is easier said than done, especially when this is someone you’ve just met, but that is the impression you want to give off. A good impression is one that comes from you, not your first date persona.

I know you’ll be nervous, that is totally normal. But, do relax. You really shouldn’t be acting at all. If you’re interested, be interested, and if you’re not don’t be.

Acting at all on a first date leads to continued acting. If they liked you acting a certain way during the first date, that is what they’ll expect moving forward. That is why it is always best to be yourself. [Read: 18 signs your date really likes you on the first date]

How NOT to act on a first date

I know that acting like yourself is a cliche piece of advice for first dates, so maybe clueing you into some things you should avoid acting like on a first date will guide you in the right direction.

#1 Disinterested. I know, you’ve probably heard that playing hard to get works, but it doesn’t. It can in the short term or with some easy flirting, but you have already agreed to the date. Playing hard to get is just confusing at this point.

If you want to impress your date, do not act disinterested. Don’t act like you’re pulling back because you want them to chase you. Unless you actually don’t like them, just show your true feelings. [Read: The signs of a bad first date that reveal a lack of chemistry]

#2 Too eager. The excitement of a first date is overwhelming. If things are going well, you get along, and have chemistry it can seem like you met your match. But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. A first date can go swimmingly, but that doesn’t mean this is your true love.

Sure, you can plan a second date, but beyond that is too intense. Planning a weekend away, a meeting with your friends or family, or your wedding will surely scare off a date.

#3 Bitter. First dates are like the tax day of dating. They bring on stress, nerves, and can cause you to relive prior heartache. But, try to let go of that. This is a first date which means it is a new person that brings new experiences to your life.

You may have fears and even be a bit bitter about your past, but bringing that to your first date will bring the mood down and let your date know you are not ready to be dating, at least not with any hope. [Read: 20 suggestions to perfect your first date conversation and impress them]

#4 Rude. You may have heard that being rude is hot, well, you heard wrong. A bit of gentle teasing can be flirty, but beyond that, being rude on a first date, or ever, is not a good look. Whether you’re rude to your date, the waiter, or a bystander, it will not do you any good.

#5 Aggressive. So, the date went well? Congratulations! But, that doesn’t mean your date agrees and even if they do, it doesn’t mean they are welcoming a kiss, a make out, or anything else. You are not worthy of anything from your date just because you met up with them or bought them dinner or a drink.

They don’t owe you anything. A hug or a kiss on the cheek is fair game for a first date, but beyond that, unless you have verbal acknowledgment of this, keep it rated G. [Read: Kissing on the first date – Is that a yes or a no?]

How to act on a first date to make a good impression

Knowing how to act on a first date does not need to be hard. Once you know what to avoid, you can just be yourself. But, if you want to go above and beyond to make sure you do everything right, you can take a few steps to do so.

Now, you shouldn’t act differently than you normally would on a first date, but you can put more effort in it than you would maybe with a friend you’re meeting for dinner.

Plus, nerves can shadow our usual preparedness or energy, so, following a rough checklist to make sure you’re acting like you won’t hurt them is below.

#1 Be confident. Going into a date with a load of self-doubt will start things off on the wrong foot. It will put you in a negative headspace and sour the mood. Instead, pump yourself up before the date.

Listen to your favorite pop music and put on an outfit you feel cute and comfortable in. You can even call a friend to give you a pep talk so you are freshly inspired. Confidence is the key to any successful first date. [Read: 14 signs you’re ruining your first dates unknowingly]

#2 Be punctual. Being on time is so important for a first date. Consider traffic. If you must stop for gas, check what your GPS says your ETA is. It is better to be early than late. Being on time or early shows you appreciate your date’s time. You aren’t just there because you had nothing better to do, but because that is where you want to be.

#3 Be respectful. I know it can be easy to let our opinion take over, but on a first date, be respectful of your date. Whether they drink or not, whether they are religious or spiritual or neither, you don’t have to agree or even like it, but respect it.

Whether or not you see a second date with this person, always remain polite and courteous with your attitude. A first date does not define the future. You could disagree with everything you talk about night one and still have amazing dates in the future.

#4 Remain calm. Nerves get the best of us on first dates. You may have awkward silences, poorly deliver a joke, or even laugh obnoxiously when it wasn’t called for, but that is okay. Your date probably knows you’re nervous and they probably are too.

But remember to breathe. Nerves can make us talk too much, too fast, or even get so distracted we don’t listen when they’re talking. Be sure to slow down. If you feel nerves taking over, take a sip of water or even excuse yourself to the bathroom for a break.

#5 Ask questions and listen. Even the most thoughtful and selfless person is guilty of talking about themselves too much on a first date. You don’t know what else to talk about most of the time so your go-to is what you know most, yourself.

Instead, ask your date thoughtful questions. Don’t ask them what their job is but what their dream job is or what they wanted to be when they were a kid. And really listen to your date’s answers so you can carry on a solid conversation, not just back and forth questions. [Read: 15 things to do on a first date to make your date really fall for you]

#6 Be honest. If they ask you why you’re single or on a dating app, don’t lie. You don’t have to tell every detail but tell the truth. Let them know that you had trouble getting over your last relationship or that you needed to work on building trust, or even that you’ve been told you’re picky.

You can get into the dirty details if things progress, but do tell the truth. If you were dumped by your live-in partner on your birthday in front of your parents and grandma, don’t tell your date you’ve been busy with work. Simply tell them you had a messy breakup and it took you a while to bounce back. Your date will appreciate your honesty.

[Read: 15 first date rules everyone should follow for a memorable time]

Knowing how to act on a first date is important, and the number one rule is don’t act, be yourself.

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