How to Deal with Fake Friends & the Right Way to Cut Ties with Them

Not all friendships are built to last, and many aren’t genuine either. Learn how to deal with fake friends and overcome the pain of being duped.

Not all friends are genuine. Sometimes we end up joining forces with someone who turns out to be a trickster, a user, someone who is only out for what they can get. Sure, it hurts, but learning how to deal with fake friends in a positive way means you can spot the fakes more easily next time.

Fake friends are those who pretend to be there for you, or those who pretend to love spending time in your company. But, when you’re not around, they never have your back. They’re fair-weather friends, they’re only around when it suits them.

Perhaps they’re pretending to be friends with you because you’re associated with someone they want to get close to. None of it is fair. None of it makes you feel good, but it’s important to remember that none of this is a reflection on you.

Fake friends will never stick around for long. They’ll take what they can get, or use you for the amount of time they need you around for. Then they’ll leave your life. You’ll likely figure out their fakery beforehand, so learning how to deal with fake friends is a useful life skill.

[Read: 14 ways to instantly recognize fake people and stay away]

How to deal with fake friends: What to do versus what not to do

First things first, understand that fake friends bring no benefit to your life. You might mourn their loss in some way, perhaps because they made you laugh or they introduced you to a circle of people that you’ve also missed out on being around, but do you really want people like that in your life?

A fake friend will never genuinely be present when you need them. They’ll never have your back when you’re not around and defend you to those who are knocking you down. If anything, they’ll join in.

It’s far better to build genuine friendships and learn how to deal with fake friends as they come and go.

[Read: How to enrich your life and build real friendships]

So, what should you do and what should you avoid?

#1 Block all contact. Once you’ve established that this person is indeed a fake, cut them out of your life. You don’t owe them anything, and you certainly don’t owe them an explanation or an apology. Block them on all your social media platforms. Then, block their number in your phone.

#2 Use the experience to pinpoint your real friends. The good news is that by having an experience with a fake friend, you’ll hold your genuine friends closer. This type of experience teaches you what is real and what isn’t. [Read: What is a true friend? The 12 key marks of a real friend]

#3 Brush it off. It hurts when you first realize someone isn’t as genuine as you thought, but if you’re trying to learn how to deal with fake friends, you must eventually learn to brush it off. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs. You don’t deserve to be treated this way, so forgive yourself of any blame you throw your own way and move on.

#4 Don’t allow them the chance to explain. You might think that everyone deserves to be heard out, but in this case, they don’t. If you are certain you have a fake friend in your life, you don’t need to have a conversation about it. They’ll probably attempt to twist it around and make it seem like you’re imagining things anyway. Just let it go and avoid the argument. [Read: The 10 scenarios when ghosting a friend is okay]

#5 Don’t be tempted to keep them in your life at all. You might think that they’ll come around in the end and be a genuine friend. They won’t. Real friendships don’t begin this way, just as a relationship never progresses when it starts with a lie. Block them and move on.

#6 Avoid revenge. It’s easy to want revenge. You’ll feel hurt and humiliated and probably angry too. Remember, revenge won’t change anything nor will it make you feel any better either.

Don’t go around posting cryptic things on your social media posts, clearly aimed at them, and don’t pass messages between mutual friends. Hold your head up high and simply let it go over your head. [Read: When people hurt you – how to respond to them and process the pain]

Learn to accept and love yourself

Learning how to deal with fake friends is about acceptance. If a person is fake, why should you want them in your life. You might feel like you’ve really lost something, but you haven’t. That realization will come with time. At first, it might seem like everything is bleak. The truth is that you did nothing wrong and can’t be blamed for this situation.

When people use others, it’s all on them. Keeping them in your life for whatever reason just prolongs the agony. When you learn how to deal with fake friends, cut the cord quickly *quite savagely in some ways*. Don’t allow them the chance to explain anything to you and don’t listen to their excuses. There’s really no point. It’s a total waste of your time. [Read: How to end a friendship when they do nothing but hold you back]

It is likely that you have many other friends in your life, true friends who are there for you throughout everything. This type of experience really does make you realize who your real friends are. Consider it a wake up call and a lesson. Sometimes we take our friends for granted and allow our heads to be turned by new people who enter our lives.

If you’ve taken any of your real friends for granted during the time that this fake person was in your life, make amends and hold them closer to you.

[Read: Real friends vs fake friends and how to tell them instantly apart]

Friendship is precious. Perhaps that’s why it hurts as much as it does when we realize that we have a fake person in our lives. Learning how to deal with fake friends means that you’re more understanding of the real meaning of friendship.

You know what a friend should and shouldn’t do, and you understand your own worth. Casting someone out of your life who isn’t treating you in the way you deserve is never a loss, and it’s always a gain.

Have you ever acted in a fake way around someone? Be honest. You can forgive yourself and move on if you have the foresight to be truthful. Maybe you have. In that case, what can you learn from that experience? Our friends are the family that we choose for ourselves and that means we should learn to treat them with love, kindness, and respect at all times. [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build everlasting friendships]

If someone in your life isn’t treating you with any of those things, stand up and take notice. Are they simply going through a hard time in their life and don’t realize what they’re doing, or are they truly fake?

Consider it before making a judgement. Nevertheless, if you’re really sure that someone isn’t as truthful as they could be, or if someone isn’t treating you with the amount of respect you know you deserve, it’s time to wave goodbye.

[Read: 17 bad, toxic friends you need to unfriend from your life]

Many of us don’t really know how to deal with fake friends properly. If someone is fake, you don’t need them. It’s that simple. You should never feel sorry for letting them go nor explain yourself.

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