Friday 27 November 2020

Should I Block My Ex or Not? How to Decide What’s Best for You

“Should I block my ex” is a question many of us have asked ourselves at some point, but is it necessary? Well, it depends…

When a relationship ends, there is a lot to consider. Changes are inevitable when your partner becomes your ex. Your entire routine is shaken up, and it might leave you questioning, should I block my ex or not?

You may not see them anymore, but opening up Instagram or Facebook and seeing them out and about can trigger a lot of emotions. Not just that, but having an ex text or reach out to you can limit your chances of meaningfully moving on.

Blocking an ex can seem excessive. Whether you were hoping to keep things cordial or even wanted to be friends eventually, blocking someone can seem cruel. But, things aren’t always as they seem.

If you’re wondering, should I block my ex, you may have a good reason for doing so.

[Read: Should I talk to my ex? The revealing questions you should consider]

Why are you thinking about blocking your ex?

The fact that you clicked on this article and made it this far tells me you’re thinking about blocking your ex. And you’re not thinking that out of the blue. If you’re considering blocking your ex, you probably have a reason. So, why are you thinking about it?

Do you simply want to distance yourself from them? Is it hard to see them on social media? Do you want to cut all ties? Maybe they continue to reach out to you or post cryptic things about your breakup. Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll reach out to them if you have access.

[Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through every single one of them]

All of these reasons are valid. But, do you want to block your ex because you can’t face them? Did you hurt them and can’t give them closure? Do you still need to stay in touch because you share finances, children, or a group of friends?

All of these things are involved in communicating with your ex. So, before hitting that button, think about your reasoning behind wanting to cut them off. Do you want to cut them off to live a healthier lifestyle? Will blocking your ex be good for you or is it something you are doing out of spite or anger?

[Read: Like ghosting and blocking? Prepare yourself for these 10 consequences]

Should I block my ex?

Personally, I’ve never blocked an ex. Why? It wasn’t because I didn’t think about it. It also wasn’t because it wouldn’t be good for me. It was because blocking isn’t permanent.

If I needed to block my ex to stop myself from looking at their profile or stop myself from responding to their texts, I knew that wouldn’t stop me. Just because you block someone, it doesn’t mean you can’t undo that.

It is the same as deleting an ex’s number. Sure it may make it harder to reach out. but chances are, you memorized that number or have another way of getting in touch. If you block your ex but have a moment of weakness when you want to look at the profile, you can unblock them and do so.

What I find more helpful is unfriending them or hiding their posts. It is not immature or juvenile to unfriend an ex on social media.

In fact, it is the smart thing to do. It will help you move on without them being at the forefront of your mind. If you want to stay friends online but need time to avoid seeing them while you get over the breakup, hiding their posts is a great way to do that without being active about it.

[Read: How to set boundaries in your life and take control]

This helps prevent random posts from showing up but doesn’t feel as intense as blocking. Plus, it won’t send them the wrong message. If you block your ex, they may go looking for your profile and when they don’t see it, they’ll know you blocked them.

If that is a concern of yours, hiding their posts is a great way to avoid them without making a statement.

But there is another reason to block your ex; if they keep reaching out to you. When you’ve gone through a breakup for any reason, you deserve to move forward.

Whether your ex wants to be friends, get back together, or just keep tabs on you, you have every right to block them. [Read: 15 reasons why your ex still texts you and tries to stay in touch]

Breakups that you want to last only last when you are apart. When exes try to help each other through a breakup before actually facing time apart, they end up getting back together and having the same issues they always have.

If your ex is reaching out to see how you’re doing, to be comforted because they’re struggling, they want to get back together, or anything else and you don’t feel that it is good for your mental health, go ahead and block them.

You don’t need my permission, theirs, or anyone else’s to block someone that isn’t good for you from your life. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 15 signs they’re clearly not over you yet]

Again, don’t just do this out of the blue because you don’t want to face a breakup, but if it comes to the point where things have been made clear and they aren’t respecting your wishes, blocking your ex is a good decision.

Don’t let anyone tell you that blocking your ex is immature. A mature breakup doesn’t mean you have to stay friends or even keep in touch. A mature breakup is one that lets you heal on your terms.

[Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]

Think of blocking your ex as deleting your public photos together. If looking at those photos makes you feel bad, delete them or archive them. Whether you feel sad or angry, miss them, or disgusted, you don’t have to see them.

It is all up to you. I’ve had breakups where things ended, and I felt fine about it. I kept photos live because they didn’t trigger any feelings in me. I looked at them as a moment in my life that happened and led me to today. But I also didn’t block or unfriend them at first.

Even months after a breakup, when an ex starting posting things that bothered me for any reason I decided to unfriend them. There is enough negativity online and in the world without adding to it by hearing from our ex directly or indirectly.

If talking to your ex, hearing from them, or just seeing their status update is upsetting to you for any reason, go ahead and block them. And remember, blocking someone isn’t as big of a deal as you might think. Even if you want to try to be friends down the line or at least be on decent terms, you can unblock them if you feel ready to.

[Read: Is the psychology of blocking someone about your ego?]

So, next time you ask, should I block my ex, I say, why not? It’s not permanent. Just do what’s good for you, to heal and to move on to a better place.

The post Should I Block My Ex or Not? How to Decide What’s Best for You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



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