Why Do I Hate Myself So Much? Learn to Love Yourself Instead

Self-hatred is on the rise. If you ask yourself, why do I hate myself, learn the root cause of your self-hatred. Then, learn how to love yourself instead.

Focusing on mental health is more important now than ever before. We’re living in crazy, anxiety-ridden times. This can take its toll on the way you feel about yourself, how you think, and what you experience on a daily basis. While practicing gratitude and smiling for the sake of it can be hard every single day, if you’re asking yourself, why do I hate myself, it’s time to recognize this red flag and work out what to do about it.

Self-hatred can appear for a number of reasons. It often builds up over time. If you’re not sure if what you’re experiencing is actual self-hatred or whether you’re just simply feeling a little low *both of which need to be addressed*, then see if you’re experiencing any of the following:

– Despite the fact there are positives in every day, you only ever focus on the negatives

– Don’t speak very kindly to yourself

– Don’t have particularly high hopes for the future

– Assume if you don’t do so well at one thing, everything is lost

– Believe that your thoughts are the truth, e.g., you think you’re a failure, so you believe you are and that everyone else believes it too. You can’t entertain the fact that you might be wrong

– You don’t try new things or opportunities that come your way

At the end of the day, asking why do I hate myself comes down to low self-esteem. Working on building that up takes time and effort, but it’s never a waste of time or effort either.

[Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]

Asking why do I hate myself and what to do about it

By building yourself up, rather than knocking yourself down, you’ll find that life improves ten-fold. New opportunities come your way and you’re more inclined to take them, while you start to see the positives rather than the negatives in every day.

#1 Work out what the root cause is. This is the hardest part of the journey. Asking ‘why do I hate myself’ requires plenty of deep thinking.

Where did this come from? When did these feelings start? Can you even pinpoint it, or does it seem to have been a slow progression that built up over time?

For many people, a dip in self-esteem can often snowball and self-hatred follows close behind. Spend some time really thinking carefully about when you started feeling this way and the events that led up to that. Understanding the root cause can give you a lot of information in terms of moving forward. [Read: The steps to take to learn how to stop hating yourself]

#2 Understand that comparisons are toxic. We’re all individual. If we were all the same, life would be very boring indeed. However, when you compare yourself to someone else, you’re always going to come up short if you already have self-esteem issues.

Social media doesn’t help with this. We see a filtered version of life, and it’s not at all a reflection of reality. When someone posts a picture, it’s very rarely their actual reflection and often is filtered, tweaked, and positioned so that they look their best. If it’s a text post, it’s often emphasized and changed to make it sound far better than the situation in real life.

Basically, you’re comparing yourself to a lie. In that case, you’re always going to be second best, and you’re always going to be unhappy. If you’re asking, why do I hate myself, and you spend a lot of time on social media, give it a rest and detox for a while. It’s likely you’ll start to feel better afterwards. [Read: Here’s how to accomplish a social media detox]

#3 Work out what your triggers are. It’s likely that you’re fine for a while and then something happens to trigger your feelings of self-hatred. What are those triggers? Is it seeing a person? Is it a specific situation? An event? A day in the year?

Identify your own personal triggers and you can work out how to best approach them. That might be avoiding them completely, minimizing your exposure to them, or facing them head on and trying to eradicate their effects on you. You can’t begin to work on these triggers until you know exactly what they are.

#4 Practice positivity and kick out negativity. Be mindful of how you speak to yourself. The fact you’re asking ‘why do I hate myself’ says that you have a negative mindset in general. [Read: How to be more positive and increase the quality of your life]

Be aware of when you’re putting yourself down and the types of things you’re saying. Then, challenge them. If you’re telling yourself that you’re stupid, stop for a second and challenge it. Why are you stupid? What proof is there?

You’ll find that when you unpick a negative thought, it loses its power. Then, replace that thought with something more positive, ‘I’m not stupid, I’m a perfect version of myself’. The more you do this, the more you’ll notice a more positive mindset developing. [Read: How to stop the negative thoughts that are dragging you down]

#5 Kick negative people out of your life. It’s possible that there is someone, maybe more than one person in your life, who makes you feel negative and down. It might be a family member, work colleague, friend, or even your partner. Identify these people and limit the amount of time you spend with them.

If you can kick them out of your life completely, even better. Instead, focus on spending time with those who lift you up and make you feel happy and light. Self-hatred comes down to having the wrong type of circle around you. People who don’t support your positive traits and focus on pulling attention to your negative traits. [Read: Best lesson to live by – Surround yourself with positive people]

#6 Give yourself a break. Nobody is perfect. Absolutely nobody. And why would you want to be? Being perfect must be pretty boring. When we make mistakes, we learn. When we fall, we pick ourselves back up and develop strength and determination. A perfect life doesn’t include any of that.

The question of ‘why do I hate myself’ can best be answered by the type of outlook you have. Do you have perfectionistic tendencies? If so, you’re never going to be happy because it’s not possible to be perfect. Give yourself a break! Allow yourself to fail occasionally.

Laugh when you fall down rather than focusing on the embarrassment. Learn how your negative traits make you who you are, just as your positive traits do. Being perfect must be pretty exhausting, and quite frankly, nobody has the time for it these days. [Read: I’m not good enough – How to bring yourself back up when you feel low]

#7 Never be afraid to ask for the help you need. Asking ‘why do I hate myself’ is a red flag. It shows that you have a problem with negativity and self-loathing that must be solved. This isn’t a happy life and it’s not something you have to deal with.

However, sometimes it’s not possible to overcome such a burden on your own. In that case, never be afraid to reach out and ask for help. It is one of the strongest and bravest things you will ever do in your life. There is plenty of help out there, be it from your friends, partner, family members, or even a professional.

By being strong enough to ask for help, you’ll find that your life improves.

[Read: The signs of self-loathing and the damage it can create in your life]

If you find yourself regularly asking why do I hate myself, take stock of your life and work out the root cause. Nobody is perfect. Nobody needs to be.

The post Why Do I Hate Myself So Much? Learn to Love Yourself Instead is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.