How to Get Over Someone You Love Fast & Not Give A Damn Anymore!

Yes, there are 30 ways, and you can learn how to get over someone you love fast, and get to the stage where you just don’t care about them. Try this!

What do you do when you’re madly in love with someone who doesn’t love you back? It’s not easy to know how to get over someone you love fast, but there are some very powerful steps that can take you to a better place!

Almost all of us know what it’s like to be heartbroken. Pure torture doesn’t even come close to describing that feeling of being cruelly rejected, either by someone you have a crush on, or someone you were in a relationship with. It happened to me, it happened to her, it happened to him, and it happened to you. Learning how to get over someone you love fast is not easy, but it can be done.

The pain you feel is unlike any other and undoubtedly leaves you wondering if there’s anything in the world that can hurt so much. And honestly, there is just something about heartache that no other kind of physical pain in the world surpasses.

[Read: The 10 stages of heartbreak and how to get over each of them]

Everyone deals with the pain in unique ways

Before you try to figure out how to get over someone you love, and fast, you need to understand that how people deal with this pain is very subjective. Some turn into party animals. Some turn into hermits. No matter how you deal with it, you always wonder why is it so hard to get over this person. It’s not easy, and it downright sucks.

You lose all your confidence. You start caring less about people that matter and care for you, and the important things around you. And the world turns into something ugly and devoid of the smells, sights, sounds, and feelings of being alive.

[Read: How to deal with the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

Why is it so difficult to get over someone you love?

Getting over someone is easy to execute in theory, but it’s way more difficult in real life. It seems like they got over you, and it seems almost effortless to them. But why exactly aren’t you over them? 

Every heartbreak is another episode of us crying into a tub of ice cream and the person you love going leading their lives as if nothing happened. In the midst of it all, you check out your social media feeds and see the “love of your life” chilling with their friends and not looking like the train wreck that you hope they would be!

That feeling you get when you can’t seem to let go of someone you love may be unique to you, but there are a few traits of broken hearts that are universally common. It can be worse for a few people, but the mechanism stays the same. It hurts, and you can’t get over them. Why is that? Here are the reasons.

#1 You are driven to want to be loved. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., people are programmed to crave romantic experiences. It is not because our emotional minds tell us to look for love. The truth is, love is a primal need.

After a breakup, your brain starts to go into withdrawal because the romantic experience of being in a relationship has been snuffed out by your loss. You can’t get over it yet because your brain is telling you that you desperately need love. Unfortunately, the only source currently on your mind is your ex.

[Read: Does my ex miss me? 15 signs your ex clearly misses you right now]

#2 The thought of not having the person you love in your life is the same as experiencing physical pain. And what do we do when we feel pain? We focus on it because there is nothing else stronger than that feeling. If someone constantly pinches you, you would not be able to think about anything else until you make that person stop.

While separated from someone you love, you feel the same level of discomfort and unease that stems from physical pain. So, the two things you end up doing are to either focus on that pain or try to make it go away.

#3 You were addicted to this person you loved. No, really! You were. Researchers found the same areas that light up the brain when a person is high on drugs, is the same area that lights up when they are in love. Once you take away that high, a person undergoes the same feelings of withdrawal, but not as physically damaging as with actual recreational drugs. Without the help of a great support system and a proactive approach to feeling better, you end up hanging on to the feeling of loss.

Unfortunately, most of the easy methods are always the hardest to follow. Forgetting about your ex, seeing a therapist, talking about your pain, etc. Those are all helpful, but not if you don’t want to do any of it. Therein lies the problem of letting go. You will not let go if you nothing to make it happen. Reading this article is your first step.

[Read: Letting go of people – Why is it so hard and where are you going wrong]

How to get over someone you love in the fastest and healthiest way possible

Whether you were dumped, cheated on, or simply did not get the response you hoped for, when you professed your love to someone, here’s what you need to know how to get get over someone you love, in the fastest and healthiest way possible.

And if this is someone you work with or have to see everyday, yikes, but fret not, because here’s how to get over someone you have to see every day without losing it!

#1 Don’t put a time limit on yourself. People make this mistake all the time. And this actually makes the process even longer and harder to go through. Understanding how to get over someone fast is giving yourself space and time to grieve and process what happened. If not, you end up bouncing from relationship to relationship with this person in your head the entire time.

[Read: The 7 stages of heartbreak when you become someone’s ex]

#2 Feel like shit if you want to. There are people who put on a fake smile and pretend they’re completely fine. Truthfully, they’re not fine, so why bother pretending? If you’re sad, then be sad. Stay in on the weekend, watch a sad movie, cry it out, and pass out holding a bag of chips. Give yourself the opportunity to truly be sad.

Do whatever it takes to numb the pain. Once that’s done, snap out of it and get over it. You’ll know when you’re ready to rejoin the real world. This usually happens 10 pounds later.

#3 Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be patient. Don’t think that you can get over things in a heartbeat. Don’t try to convince yourself that everything’s okay, when it patently isn’t. Give it time and do everything else you need to do to ensure that you are making healthy, step-by-step progress.

[Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through every single one of them]

#4 Talk it over. Try not to keep all that heartache and hurt to yourself. It’s exactly times like these that you need friends to talk to, to maybe shed a few tears with, and to start processing things objectively by talking the relationship through.

[Read: 10 things you HAVE to do after a breakup to feel awesome again]

#5 Mourn your loss. Imagine how long it takes for a flesh wound to heal. Now recognize the fact that inner scars take far longer. Go through the motions of mourning your lost relationship. Start by trying to accept that it’s over.

#6 Find someone else *but chances are, you can’t handle this!*. You know the saying, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”? Well, it’s true for some people. If you can play it cool, call it an alternative, a rebound, or whatever you want. If you’re occupied with someone else for a few weeks, there is a lower chance you’re worrying about the doofus who won’t love you back.

[Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready for it]

#7 It’s dangerous to fill the emptiness with sex. Okay, this is totally contrary to the tip we’ve made above about getting over an ex. Honestly, sleeping with someone else doesn’t work. And it’s a risky proposition. So many people think that if they rebound, they’ll get over the person quicker, but that’s usually false.

If anything, it makes you realize either a) how good the sex was with them or b) that you two had a connection. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have sex, but give yourself some time before you do.

Here’s where having sex with someone can help. Sleeping with someone can help in those weak moments when you’ve hit rock bottom and you feel like there’s no reason to exist without being loved by this person you love. When you’re heartbroken, just receiving a flirty or complimentary text can make you feel just a wee bit better about yourself.

So, rebounds work for some people. And they don’t work for many others. Use a rebound as a last resort. But never as a long term solution. Almost always, a rebound will help you for a few weeks, and if you don’t focus on getting over this person you love at the same time, you’ll only end up feeling worse about yourself.

#8 Go out and flirt. If you realize that trying a rebound is something you just can’t handle, or it doesn’t interest you, try this. Just go out there and flirt if you want to get over someone you love. Being social reminds you there’s a whole world of potential partners out there ready for the taking.

Of course, it won’t help you get over the person you love. BUT it will give you a social boost and the confidence to remember that you’re still hot stuff. A broken heart is not the end of the world. It’s just a phase, and you will get through it.

[Read: How to flirt with a friend and tease them without being weird]

#9 Delete them from everything. Don’t keep their number in your phone. Don’t follow them on Instagram, don’t have them or their mom on Facebook—nothing. And when we say nothing, we mean nothing. Remove them completely from your life, at least for now. If you want to get over them fast, then stop stalking them on social media.

[Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texting]

#10 Be honest about why it happened. Why did you break up with them or why did they break up with you? This is the time to be terribly honest with yourself. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean they love you back. There’s a reason why it happened. This is the chance for you to accept the real reason of why it occurred.

#11 Focus on their flaws. Focus on all the stuff that made you angry. From her talking back to you, to him being an arrogant ass. I’m sure there are plenty of things your former love did that got on your nerves. As unhealthy as this step may be, it is a rather effective one.

[Read: How to successfully get over someone by truly hating them]

#12 Closure is for movies. That whole thing about getting closure, confronting this person who doesn’t love you back, and getting them to sit down and have a great debate on the reasons for separation won’t do any good, whatsoever.

All it will do is have you thinking about them all over again, without providing any of the answers that you were probably hoping to hear. Closure works brilliantly on the big screen. But in real life, it falls far short of any of the intended objectives. Instead, give yourself time to grieve and heal.

[Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule is the best way to get over someone]

#13 Recognize you’re worth more. Why pine over someone who doesn’t think you’re worthy enough to be their partner? If they don’t love you back, screw it. You’re better off without them anyway. There are seven billion other people on the planet. You’re bound to find at least one who thinks the world of you. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… and love yourself more]

#14 Get back into the real world. Right now, you’re probably theorizing, thinking about the future, and the “what if” questions run through your head. Now, we get it. All of us do that, but it’s not going to help you get over them. Get back into the real world and what’s actually happening around you. The fact is, you’re not with them anymore. As of now, it doesn’t look like you’re going to be with them.

#15 Stay occupied. To keep your mind off your failed love, keep yourself busy. Pick up new skills and hobbies, throw yourself into work, and focus on extracurricular projects.

#16 Release your anger and pain. Binge eating and crying only get you so far. Find other outlets to channel your pain. As difficult as it may seem, one way to do this is by working out. If that isn’t enough to tire you out, start volunteering and helping others.

The world is a harsh place filled with problems and making a difference puts things into perspective. By engaging yourself in other people’s problems, you realize someone not loving you back is minor, and you can move forward. [Read: Life’s a bitch? 17 feel-good ways to make yourself feel better]

#17 Set your emotions free. So many people bottle up their emotions inside, locking them tightly inside their hearts. But this only prolongs the post-breakup period. You need to get your emotions out. I don’t care if you write a song or poem, take up a kickboxing class, or talk to a therapist. The point is—get them out.

#18 Meditate. Similar to physical exercise, meditation could help you deal with post-relationship withdrawal. Especially if you have to get out and go somewhere to learn how.

#19 Regain confidence. Starting over both mentally and physically is very important. Why not start with a physical change? Get a haircut, change your style, and rev up our workout and diet regime. Once you look good, you’ll start feeling good too.

[Read: How to look hot and go from boring to flawless in a few days]

#20 Step away. You need space to heal. Seeing this person everyday is not going to help you get over it. If you work together, request to move departments. You live in the same area? Stop going to the same watering holes.
Share the same group of friends? Decline party invites if you know they’re going to be there. In time, being in the same room with this person will be tolerable, but until then keep your distance.

#21 You don’t need to always be busy. People think the best way to get over someone fast is to make sure every minute of the day is spent doing something. That’s wrong. You need time to reflect, time alone to sit with your thoughts, that’s the only way you’ll get through it. If you’re busy all day, you ignore the issue and bury it.

#22 Bring back your social life. When you were with them, you probably didn’t see your friends much. Now, that’s normal, but it’s time to get your social life back to how it used to look. This doesn’t mean you hang out with people every day, but surround yourself with positive and supportive friends.

#23 Talk to someone. Don’t underestimate the power of the third-party-point-of-view. Chatting with a friend is good enough. Sometimes it’s important to just let it all out and have someone who cares about you offering up advice. You know they only want what’s best for you. So, trust what they have to say.

[Read: How to get over someone when your heart does not want to]

#24 Remove any memories of them. You don’t have to burn photos, just put them in a box and keep them stored somewhere. You don’t have to burn all your memories with them if you’re trying to figure out how to get over someone fast. Remember, at one point, this person was a part of your life, you’ll want to look back and see how much you’ve changed from that relationship.

#25 Discover who you are. Now is the best time to focus on yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want in life. The next time you allow yourself to fall in love, you won’t make the same mistakes. Take some time off to travel, switch up your routine, try new things, and live for yourself.

[Read: 15 powerful lessons you can learn from your own breakups]

#26 Spend time with loved ones. Be sure to surround yourself with friends and family. They reinforce what you already know, and the plain and simple fact that there are other people in your life who love you. Focus on them instead of on that one person who doesn’t.

#27 Use psychology. One of the most powerful ways to convince your subconscious mind to believe something is repetition. The more you repeat the fact that the relationship is over, the more this statement is likely to turn into a solid belief. If you keep telling yourself that this person doesn’t love you and that you need to move on, you will eventually believe it.

#28 Don’t be hopeful. They’re not coming back to you. This is the mindset to have. Hope is what prevents us from moving on and accepting what happened. We think they’ll come back to us and in some cases they do, but the best thing is to assume that they’re not. This way, you focus on healing.

[Read: How to get over a broken heart – A guide for every step of the way]

#29 Do you. You probably feel that you lost something of yours. It’s time to change that way of thinking. Think of this as an improvement. As if you shed a layer of skin. Now, it’s time to focus on your mental health. Go get a haircut, get your nails done, go for a walk—it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you show some self-love.

#30 Speak to a therapist. You may have great friends or a very understanding family, and that’s all great. Most of them may even be willing to listen to your problems and help you out. But if it gets to the point where you feel like you are burdening your friends with the same stories and problems over and over again, or you’re just not able to move forward and forget this person you love, do not be ashamed to ask for help. Just make sure to do this because you want to be helped, not because you just want a soundboard.

[Read: How to get over feeling unwanted and start feeling desirable again]

Getting over someone you love who doesn’t love you back is one of the hardest things to do. But once you finally get over it, you’ll be a much stronger person. Follow these steps to get over someone fast, and they’ll be the healthiest steps for you, and your future.

The post How to Get Over Someone You Love Fast & Not Give A Damn Anymore! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Naughty Interest Bait

You have something sexual you want to tell a girl or show her, but it’s inappropriate. How do you get around its impropriety? By baiting her into begging you to share it with her.

Want a simple little tactic you can use to bait girls into asking you things you couldn't/wouldn't normally be able to get away with in conversation?

Because there are some things that you really cannot just come out and drop on a girl, without it being too forward or out-of-place.

The solution, if you want to use a really forward compliment or bring up or show her something really sketchy is to lure her into asking you for it, pushing you for it, so that when you finally drop it on her, "she asked for it."

With a little good framing, this is not hard to do at all.

Note: while this tactic is simple, it requires a fair degree of calibration, and thus its use is a bit more advanced. So this will mostly be for intermediate and up guys (and really is for more advanced seducers).

Beginners may still find it interesting to read about, if purely for the psychology aspect.

Why Do Guys Like Anal Sex & Should You Give the Back Door a Try?

The idea of anal sex can be confusing and scary. So why do guys like anal sex, or the idea of it? Here’s why they want it, and what you need to do.

Guys and girls are equally curious about anal sex. But while a few girls may consider anal sex with trepidation, most guys are excited by the thought. Why is that? Why do guys like anal sex? Is it because it’s easier for a guy to consider it because he’s not usually the one who has to experience the penetration? We’ll get to the bottom of it all here.

Anal sex used to be something that not many people spoke of a few decades ago. More for the backroom of the video rental store, it was not mainstream—in the least. With each generation, however, sexual mores break down a little more, and people increase their comfort level.

Enter the internet: men and women are allowed to explore any fetish or fantasy they can dream of. Anal sex used to be something that was more in the “naughty” realm, and something only really promiscuous women engaged in. Now, it is being talked about in movies, across the internet, and even in high school conversations. So if your guy likes anal sex, that’s normal too. That doesn’t, however, mean that everyone is comfortable with the idea.

[Read: What does anal sex feel like, both physically and mentally?]

Who is having anal sex?

Men have a tendency to enjoy anal sex more than women or, at a minimum, fantasize about it. In a study conducted a few years ago, over 38% of men between the ages of twenty and thirty-nine and over 32% of women ages eighteen to forty-four had engaged in anal intercourse with a heterosexual partner. That is up over ten percent since 1992.

[Read: The curious guy’s and gal’s guide to first time anal sex]

Anal sex used to have the stigma of being just for homosexual men. An alternative out of necessity, if a man just a couple of decades ago made it known that he was into anal sex, rumors might have abounded about whether he was a closet homosexual.

Things have changed. And now here we are wondering why do guys like anal sex when they shied away from it just a while ago?!

For many, anal sex has nothing to do with homosexual or heterosexual sex. It is about doing something that is creative and secretive with the person you want to be intimate with. Having anal sex is quite arguably the most vulnerable you can be with another person.

Why do guys like anal sex when we have a vagina that works!

It is a very confusing concept to a woman. If you have a vagina to enjoy, why isn’t that enough? Women may wonder why it takes another hole to excite their men. For many, it feels like what they have is not good enough, that their male partner is bored, or that they enjoy doing things that will hurt.

[Check out: Does anal sex have to be painful? A guide for rump lovers]

Let’s be honest: guys may like the idea of anal sex, but anal sex is painful if you don’t do it right. There are no two ways about it. It is uncomfortable, and if you aren’t careful, you can end up seriously injured. Feeling sexy about it yet? It is not unusual for a woman not to want to jump in headfirst, shouting, “Sounds like a great idea!”

But then again, is anal sex actually painful?

Most women have this notion that anal sex is extremely painful and uncomfortable. Of course, if you try sticking a finger up your bum when you’re feeling kinky, and immediately feel like pooping, that’s saying something, isn’t it?

The first time you stick your finger in, yes, it feels unusually pleasurable. But as you slide your finger out, you can’t help but feel really uncomfortable and weak, especially if it’s your first time! But many experienced anal sex lovers would tell you that this new sensation is just that, a whole new sensation.

All you need to do is get past the awkwardness, and prepare yourself for a whole new pleasurable sexual activity! If you think about it, vaginal sex probably felt just as weird the first few times too, right?

[Read: Does anal sex feel painful for you? Here are the 12 mistakes you’re probably making]

Research: Why are guys are enticed by anal sex?

There is evidence to show that anal sex is not a new phenomenon. It has been practiced throughout the centuries by both homosexual and heterosexual couples. And for as far back as the middle ages. Arguments are that men used it to avoid pregnancy. But that just doesn’t answer the question about why now, with all the birth control means available, they still want to engage in anal sex.

There is some research to suggest that a guy fantasizes about having anal sex with a woman because he knows that the woman has absolutely no intention of using him to get pregnant. Knowing that it isn’t about conception or procreation, a man sees it as a more “raw” act of sexual activity.

There is also evidence to suggest that men like to feel as if women trust them enough, and are willing to give themselves over to them completely, to go places no one else has ever gone. Giving her body over to him, he has ultimate control over her.

Generally, a woman who is willing to give it a try is more open-minded when it comes to sexual experiences and may be more comfortable with her sexual identity. Willing to take a chance, she is someone who may be more adventurous, more orgasmic, and might know exactly how to turn a guy on.

Why women fear anal sex

Ask any heterosexual man if he would enjoy taking a dildo and inserting it into his anus and, more than likely, he won’t think it’s a good idea. There seems to be a double standard: it is okay for you, but not for me. Wanting to give, but not receive, it leaves women fearful that it is a selfish act on behalf of their partners.

Not ready to try anal sex with your guy quite yet? Why don’t you try pegging him? Maybe if he’s okay with that, you could give anal sex a thought!

The confusion behind why guys like anal sex is only heightened by the pornographic images spread throughout the internet. Anal sex is not something intimate between two people, but is shared with the world, and is often performed in a way that appears demeaning to women. Going from ass to mouth, and watching women demean themselves on camera, confuses many women into thinking that a guy just wants to dominate her and violate her in a violent, disturbing manner.

[Read: 25 common porn myths that many people still believe]

Is anal sex for you?

Sex can be a very loving thing for a relationship—or a very destructive one. No one can answer whether you should try anal sex but you. The fact that you are researching why guys like anal sex may be an indication that you are intrepid about it. There is good reason to be fearful: it is not like anything that you have experienced before, and it is something that, if you aren’t ready, will not be a pleasant experience.

The key to knowing whether you should give in and give it a try is to figure out exactly why you would. If you are giving in and giving yourself over because it is something that he wants only, you run the risk of feeling resentful and used.

If you are worried about it, nervous, or just downright opposed, but appease him anyway, it will not be a positive step in your relationship. It may end in anger, a lower opinion of your partner, or feelings of coercion or disrespect.

[Check out: 15 commonly accepted sex myths that are so, so wrong, and that includes anal sex!]

When it may be a bad idea

Just like any sexual encounter that you have with a stranger, a lover, or your spouse, it can’t be something that you feel pressured to do or are not ready for. If you think that if you just do it for him because your guy likes anal sex, it will make him happy, think again. The things that we do for someone else, at the detriment of ourselves, never work out the way we want them to.

Also, if you give it a try, and he finds out that he really loves it, and you hate it, you’ll find yourself in a real conundrum. It is like introducing a drug, then taking it away. It will always leave you wondering if he is getting vanilla during vaginal intercourse when he wants chocolate.

The key is your own comfort level. You need to feel like you are making a conscious choice or that you have one at all. If any guy is pressuring you into doing anything that you aren’t comfortable with, then it is a very bad idea. When someone feels used, humiliated, or taken advantage of, it can break up even the best of relationships.

The last thing you want is for it to remain the elephant in the middle of the room, destroying the active sex life you *probably* already have.

Do you owe the guy anal sex?

Some women feel like they owe their guy a try. Knowing that there are other women who may give him what he wants, you might be afraid that if you don’t engage, he’ll move on.

The truth is, if anal sex is all it would take to make him stray or dump you, he will do it over something else. Making someone do something they aren’t ready for or are against isn’t love. There is nothing loving about coercing someone into compromising their principles or themselves. [Want to explore before you take the plunge? Check out: How to be a freak in the sheets without being creepy]

The positives: Why you may want to

If you are someone who is not opposed to trying new things and doesn’t take things too seriously, you may want to give it a go. If you’re wondering why do guys like anal sex, you need to remember that many women find it very enjoyable once they get past the first time.

Anal sex can heighten your orgasm, allow you to feel vulnerable with your mate, and may be something that turns you on collectively.

If you have anal sex not just for him, but for the experience it holds for you, it can be something that you can share together. Like having an inside joke, it can be the one thing that just the two of you have. Doing something that you haven’t done with someone before, anal sex can be a real bonding experience.

The communication involved–even required–will not only heighten sexual arousal, but just may teach you how to be more open about your sexual likes and dislikes. [Try: How to master the rim job and east ass like a real pro!]

If you aren’t sure, it is perfectly reasonable to put it off for a while. Taking the time to make an informed decision may take the fear out of it. Many great sex toys will give you a taste of what it is like. If you start out small, you may find out quickly whether it is for you or not. Like anything, introducing it slowly may help you both be more comfortable about making a decision.

Most of all, it is important for you not to make an assumption about why do guy like anal sex, or even why your man wants to try it with you. If you assume it is something lacking in your current sex life, or he wants to debase you, then it isn’t something you are going to be comfortable with.

[Next, read: The misconceptions about anal sex most people get wrong!]

So if you’re still confused and wondering why do guys like anal sex, take the time to talk to him and find out why he wants to try it, and why it appeals to him. Maybe if you can find out why he wants to have anal sex, you will be able to choose whether it is worth giving a try.

The post Why Do Guys Like Anal Sex & Should You Give the Back Door a Try? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

40 Very Deep Questions To Ask Someone Before You Get Close to Them

The right kind of deep questions to ask someone can reveal their perspective on life, and who they really are. Try these questions, and see for yourself!

When you fall for someone, or even as you get close to someone, be it a friend or someone you’re dating, it’s not easy to know who they really are. It’s easy to project yourself as the perfect person when you know how to fake it. But with the right kind of deep questions to ask someone, you can casually find out their innermost thoughts and desires, without putting them in a spot.

Of course, there are no wrong answers when it comes to deep questions. There are just perspectives. But if the two of you think on opposite end of the spectrum, can you share a bond that will last a lifetime? Can you trust that the direction they choose in life will be along the same lines as yours? Would your morality accept the decisions they choose?

Deep questions to ask people depending on the kind of relationship you have with them

Now, there are different kinds of questions you need to ask people depending on their relationship with you. If you’re looking to ask deep questions to someone you’re bonding with, or someone you see as potential life partner, read on.

But if you’re looking for other specific relationships, we have the best deep questions for all of them. Just click on any of the links below, and jump straight to the set of life changing, deep questions for the right person.

Deep questions to ask your best friend and strengthen your bond

Deep questions to ask a girl and reveal her true self

Deep questions to ask a guy and turn any guy into an open book

Deep questions to ask your boyfriend to get to know everything you need to know

Deep and self-discovery questions to ask yourself and learn who you truly are

There is nothing more spectacular than falling in love, or starting to get closer to someone. The problem is, while we are attracted to someone, there are often red flags that we ignore. Wanting a relationship to work, we neglect those things that are sure to be a deal breaker for a happily ever after.

[Read: 60 very important get to know you questions for a new romance]

Before you bond too deeply, it is important for you to understand their point of view. And also what makes them, who they really are on the inside. Using these deep questions to ask someone early on can save you from big heartache later.

[Read: How well do you know me? 35 really fun but important questions for couples]

40 deep questions to ask someone before you fall hard or get too close

These questions will provide you with serious, thoughtful insight into this person’s inner workings, and will go a long way in determining if you two can bond for life… or are doomed to fail.

#1 If someone you trust asks you to jump down a cliff and tells you that you wouldn’t get hurt, would you do it? Does that make them naive? Does it make them very loyal and someone you shouldn’t betray? What would you do if they were to ask you back the same question?

#2 What do you think are the three qualities that matter most in a person? Is it loyalty? Integrity? Ability to see the light in every situation? Someone who can laugh through their problems? What does this person think are the traits that matter most, and what do they value about all else?

[Read: 20 positive personality traits that can change your life forever]

#3 Would you consider yourself a good human being? Many of us think we’re the best thing that happened to earth! But sometimes, this deep question to ask someone can also reveal their humility or just how truthful someone is. Do they consider themselves to be a good person? Do they admit they have flaws?

#4 If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? Something physical? Something about their personality? This is a deep question to ask someone that also reveals what they believe is their flaw, and something they secretly wish to correct.

#5 What do you think about the idea of marriage? This may not be an important deep question to ask if you don’t intend to date them. But it it’s a good question to understand their perspective on a legal bond like marriage.

#6 How many children do you want? The question of children is a critical one that most people don’t discuss early enough. Thinking they may scare their mate off, or are being pushy, they don’t ask this deep question, but it often ends up being a dealbreaker down the road. There may not be that great a difference between one and two, but there is between six and none!

[Read: 19 things you MUST do as a couple before having a baby]

#7 What is your favorite memory? What do they value most? Memories have a way of revealing what people cherish more than anything else. Is it wealth, an experience, a hedonistic pleasure, or a simple memory that means a lot only to them?

#8 What is your daily ideal routine? This deep question reveals a lot about a person. Are they driven and seek success and accomplishments? Do they prefer to take it easy and enjoy every moment of life, because hey, you only live once?!

#9 What are you most proud of? What is their biggest achievement? What do you think of it? Is that something you would be proud of too?

#10 What is your philosophy on life, and how do you approach life every day? Do they see life as one never-ending battle against the odds? A gift to be grateful for? How do they approach life and everything they come across?

[Read: What am I doing with my life? How to break through the rut you’re in]

#11 If you could be reborn immediately and randomly as someone else, would you do it? Would you? This deep question to ask someone says a lot about the way they look at their own life, their problems, and their own successes. Is it something they think they can fix? Or do they wish they could just drop everything and start fresh in an unknown scenario?

#12 Do you think stereotyping is a good thing? Some people see stereotypes as a useful tool to navigate the world, while others believe they are limiting. People who are okay with stereotypes are fundamentally different from those who think they are bad. Knowing where you stand on the spectrum, as opposed to the person you are with, is imperative for harmony in the future.

#13 Do you have any prejudices? If someone is very prejudiced, it can alter the way you look at them. We often keep our harder beliefs hidden until later in the relationship. Putting it all out there is important, because you want to know how someone feels up front, so it isn’t a surprise or a deal breaker once you have fallen in love.

#14 Do you think men and women are equal? If you are someone who believes a girl can do anything a guy can do, while she is more of a “guys are protectors and women should stay at home” kind of gal, there are going to be problems in the future. Having similar ideas about gender responsibilities and limitations are important to determine roles as you become a couple.

#15 Where is a woman’s place? You want to stay home, but he wants you to work. See how that can cause a problem? If you are a working girl now but want to stay at home with the kids, that is important to discuss before you are knee-deep in a mortgage and a growing family.

#16 Which is more important: family or money? Does she believe in sacrificing family time to be more financially secure, or does she think that money can’t buy happiness? What are you both willing to do without—time or money? Worker bees and leisure-seeking individuals often do not meld well. [Try: 12 reasons why couples drift apart over time]

#17 What type of relationship did you have with your parents? Did they get along with their parents? The apple usually does not fall far from the tree. Finding out if he got along with his parents will tell you what type of family life he had, and whether it was open and loving or critical and challenging. That is important, because history has a tendency to repeat itself. If his parents were harsh and overly critical, it is more likely that he will unconsciously follow suit when he has children.

#18 If you could go anywhere, where would it be? Is he an adventurer or a history buff? If you like to climb mountains and he would rather grab a good book on the beach, that could cause problems in your future. It isn’t that opposites don’t attract, but if you have nothing in common but being fun to look at, it will make for a challenging union.

#19 Is an expensive car necessary to you? This question will tell you what they value. An expensive car is usually something people get to show off to others. If you are someone who drives a late-model Monte Carlo not because you have to, but because you don’t care, then you probably don’t value appearances as much as he does. Having different mindsets about the importance of what you show to the world can cause real difficulties about spending habits. [Read: 16 attention whore signs to watch out for!]

#20 If I loved something, would you support me—no matter what? What if you wanted to go on a sabbatical to Africa to help underprivileged children? Would they be willing to let you go, and support you in your dreams? Likewise, if you wanted to become a porn star, would they be okay with it and back you up? It is important to know where they stand on fostering your dreams and if they will provide you with unconditional love and support.

#21 If your parents didn’t like me, would you stick up for me? In-laws can be a very positive or destructive force in a relationship. They may like you now, but if something happened to change the dynamics, who would your spouse back? To be a couple, you have to promise to have your spouse’s back, even when it means standing up to your parents.

#22 Do you often feel lonely? If someone is lonely, they are more likely to want a closer relationship where you do everything together. If you are more of an independent soul, that could leave one person always feeling isolated and sad. That will eventually lead to problems. [Read: Loneliness in a relationship – 4 whys and 7 ways to fix it]

#23 If I asked you to do something you weren’t comfortable with, would you do it? There are times in a relationship when someone may want or need something from you that may be uncomfortable for you. Ideally, you want someone who is willing to stand up for themselves and what they want, but you have to know to what extent. If they always put you first, it can lead to losing respect for them. If they always put themselves first, it can make you feel less loved. It is important to know where they stand on this issue and what their beliefs are with regard to what you should do for your partner in a relationship.

#24 Who is more important—you or the person you love? Do they put the person they love before themselves, or do they believe their needs go first? The way that they answer may give you a clue about what is truly inside.

#25 Do you care how many people I have slept with? Are they a jealous person? Every time you see an old love, are they going to make an issue of it, or use it to belittle you, or make you feel poorly? If they don’t care, maybe you want them to a little. Figure out which end of the spectrum they fall on. [Check out: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]

#26 What is the worst thing anyone can say to or about you? What is it that defines a bad person for them? If they think the worst thing anyone can think of them is that they are selfish, you are likely to have found someone who puts others first. If they don’t want someone to think they are poor, you probably have someone who is worried about appearances. Who do they want to be?

#27 Are children better seen and not heard? How do they view children? Do they want to parent as a team, or is it couple first, children second? Neither is right, but it is important to know how they view children in a relationship and what place kids will hold.

#28 What behavior is a deal breaker? Do they believe that behavior like bullying or crying are deal breakers? If smoking is a no-no, you should know that before you admit that you smoke when you drink. You can’t hide it forever, nor do you want to, whatever the behavior is. [Try: What is a good relationship? Here are the signs.]

#29 How many times a week do you think married people should have sex? What are their expectations about what a healthy sexual relationship is? Most people think sex should happen all the time in the beginning. Then, when children come along, romance and sex take a backseat. It is important to know how much they value sex in a relationship over the long term.

#30 How adventurous are you in the bedroom? If you think that the key to a healthy sex life is trying new things, then it is critical to know whether someone is willing to be open and share new sexual experiences with you, or if missionary is all that they are interested in trying.

#31 You have an extra $1000—what do you do with it? Would they spend it on you or them? Would they save it or spend it? This question will tell you if they are generous or stingy with their money. [Read: Money management for couples]

#32 Would you go to a movie by yourself? How comfortable are they with themselves and being alone? People who are okay being by themselves are more comfortable in their skin and don’t need someone to make them happy. They want to have someone to make their life more meaningful, rather than fulfill a need.

#33 Do you like talking about politics? How open are they to different opinions? Do they judge people for what they believe? Often, someone who doesn’t want to engage in a touchy subject either gets too upset by conflict, or worries it will alter the way that they view you. It is important to be on the same political wavelength, but opinions change. Are they open to new ideas and discussing uncomfortable things?

#34 Did you hate any children growing up and why did you hate them? Were they the bully or the object of bullying? The playground is where we decide what behavior is acceptable, and what is not. What is unacceptable behavior to them? [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

#35 Has someone ever broken your heart? Are you going to be dealing with someone else’s baggage? If someone broke their heart, they are likely to have residual trust issues that will pop up in the future. It is important to find out if they have been let down, and how, so you know if they are likely to guard their heart.

#36 When do you think it is appropriate for a guy to cry? Is he a “guy’s guy,” or does she think crying is weak? This question tells you whether you can be yourself around someone and be as sensitive as you want to be. How much can you let your guard down and be who you are?

#37 Are your parents proud of you? Are they constantly feeling not good enough, or as if they let people down? Someone who is confident in their accomplishments will say that they have parents who are proud of them. It will also tell you how they were treated growing up, and if their parents fostered their emotional well-being. [Read: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]

#38 What do you want people to say and remember about you when you die? What is it that they value in human beings and hold as the epitome of what is important in a lifetime?

#39 How long do you think you are going to live? How optimistic are they about their life? If they believe they are going to die young, question them about why they have such low hopes for a long, happy future. Are they fatalistic, pessimistic, or even a hypochondriac?

#40 What makes your best friend your best friend? What are the qualities they think make someone a good friend, and what is it about their best friend that allows them to take that important role?

[Next, read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]

These deep questions are sometimes hard to ask, because we don’t really want to know the answers. If you are falling in love with someone, it is better to find out that they aren’t what you believed they were at the start, than to be blindsided in the end.

The post 40 Very Deep Questions To Ask Someone Before You Get Close to Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Tell If a Girl Doesn’t Like You: 25 Signs You Can’t Ignore!

You like her. But is she interested in being more than friends with you? Here’s how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you, and it’s time you back away.

The two of you spend time together, you talk, and you feel like you’re actually starting to fall for her. But does she feel the same way about you? Or perhaps, you’re getting mixed signals and a girl is blowing hot and cold? Nevertheless, knowing how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you is actually pretty simple. Unless she’s playing you, the signs would be big and bold, if only you choose to see and recognize them!

And we’ll get to that here. There are lots of ways to know if a girl likes you, and the signs are almost endless! The problem is most guys don’t focus on the counter signs to know if a girl doesn’t like them!

[Read: How to tell if a girl is flirting back with you – 18 telltale signs to know for sure]

Men have a tendency to think that women are mysterious creatures. But the truth is that women are pretty predictable by nature. Once you figure out how women think and what motivates them, you have the key to unlocking the female species.

How to tell if a girl doesn’t like you – The easiest ways to read her mind

You can continue to tell yourself a good story. Or overlook the behaviors saying “go away” if you want. But, if you want to know how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you, you need to take a good look at the signs below, and accept them for what it is.

[Read: Is she playing hard to get? All the signs she just wants you to go away]

#1 She doesn’t text you back. Women are communicative. If someone texts a girl, and she likes you, chances are, she’s going to reply you. And soon! If a girl isn’t returning your text messages, don’t believe her when she says she forgot to get back to you, or that she has been really busy lately.

If she isn’t answering your text messages, that is a sure-fire sign that she just isn’t that into you. After all, even girls who are trying to play hard to get will answer, it may just take a while.

[Read: 12 important rules to text a girl so you don’t creep her out]

#2 She is always busy. Sure, she may be busy. All of us are now and then. But if a girl likes a guy, she’ll put him as a priority in her life. If she is constantly telling you that she can’t possibly get together because she is so busy, then you may want to consider that she is making up excuses because she doesn’t want to see you. This a classic sign to watch out for when learning how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you.

#3 She doesn’t show up to the same old places. Has she stopped visiting the places you would frequently *accidentally on purpose?* run into her? Then chances are good that she is avoiding you. If she isn’t going to the places that you used to hang out at, that is a big tip for how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you.

[Read: Are you boring her? 20 clear signs she’s not interested]

#4 She leaves when you show up. This is a tough sign to accept, and an insulting one too. So if you do see this, take it in your stride and give her a lot *a lot* of space! If you walk into an establishment and she can’t get out the door quickly enough, she is trying her hardest to ignore and avoid you. A woman will avoid you only if she is convinced you can’t take no for an answer. So, take the hint. And grow up.

[Read: Why do people hate you? 15 things you’re probably doing all the time]

#5 She tries to tell you all her bad qualities. Often, if a girl doesn’t like a guy, she will point out all the things that are wrong with her. She will downplay all her good qualities and make sure to highlight that she doesn’t ever sleep late, she smokes, and that she isn’t a good girlfriend material.

Pointing out all her faults is a way to tell you that you should find someone who is better suited for you, or that she is just not into you.

#6 She avoids being alone with you. This is a huge tip for figuring out how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you. If she always says things like “I’ll meet you there,” or if she never wants to hang out alone with you or at your house, then she probably doesn’t like you.

A girl who is nice and likes you, but not in a romantic way, doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. So, she isn’t going to be blunt. Not wanting to be alone with you is just a sign that she doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression.

#7 She doesn’t do anything special when meeting you. She may be interested in being your friend, but not your girlfriend. If she makes no effort to dress up or put makeup on when you go out together, then likely you have hit the “friend zone” and she isn’t interested in you in “that way.”

If she is way too casual when you see her without putting any effort into getting together, you are probably not on the same “interest level,” which is a very important tip for how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you.

[Read: 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone]

#8 She is always talking up other girls. If a girl is interested in you, then she wants all of your attention and gets jealous when you talk about other girls. But if she is not only on board with you talking about other girls in your life – friends or otherwise – then she is probably not into you in a romantic way.

#9 She always brings someone else with. If every time you meet out, she is always accompanied by another friend, then that is a huge sign that she isn’t into you. Girls bring along friends to create a buffer. It makes no difference if it is a guy or girl, single friend or a group. If she is always bringing along a companion, then she is avoiding any serious talk with you. Or, having any romantic attachment to you.

[Read: The very big signs you need to back off right now when you’re pursuing a girl]

#10 She won’t introduce you to her friends and family. A girl who is interested in a guy can’t wait to show them off to her family and friends. Albeit, she is not going to want to introduce you to Mom and Dad right up front *most likely because she is embarrassed by them or doesn’t want to pressure you*.

But, if you are ready to make your appearance and she can’t seem to take you anywhere, or she picks places to meet that are off the beaten path, then she is probably trying to avoid contact with others in her life. Although that may be a sign that she wants you alone, it is probably a signal for how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you.

[Read: 15 signs the girl you like is just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

#11 She doesn’t flirt with or touch you. Not every girl is touchy-feely, but if it has been a while and she still doesn’t flirt with you or touch you in any way, then she probably thinks you are nothing more than a friend. If she can be around you without wanting to reach out and touch you, then there is little chance that she is interested in you.

No one wants to admit when someone isn’t into them. But don’t make the girl come right out and say it. There are signs all around that she isn’t into you, and you shouldn’t ignore them. Instead, embrace them. No matter how much you like her, if she just isn’t into you, there is someone out there better who will be.

#12 She flirts with other guys around you. Okay, not only does she avoid flirting with you or flirting back when you try to get flirty with her, she actually flirts with other guys when you’re around. Now, there is a very small possibility that she may be flirting with other guys to get a reaction out of you. *Petty, but yes, some girls will do that just to see if you can get jealous!* But almost always, if a girl is flirting with another guy completely oblivious to your presence, chances are, the girl doesn’t like you back.

[Read: 30 wicked ways a girl may use jealousy to get you to like her more]

#13 She talks about other guys she likes. Here’s another surefire sign if you’re wondering how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you. She talks about other guys she’s interested in, or finds cute, with you. She may ask you for help, advice or worse, even an introduction to another guy.

#14 She may be rude to you. Now this is something a girl may do if she’s had enough you trying to hit on her. Every time you try to flirt with her, or try to touch her discreetly, does she become unnatural quiet or does she excuse herself to get out of your personal zone? Does she snub you when you flirt with her? These are all very discreet but strong signs a girl doesn’t like you back.

#15 She isn’t nice to you. Okay, she may compliment you *as a friend* or talk normally. But you never see her go overboard with her compliments or gestures, for you. It’s almost like she can’t see the effort you’ve made for her, or even notice that you’ve done something different to impress her. [Read: 15 blunt signs she wants you to leave her alone and has zero interest]

#16 She always step out of your personal space. This is a huge sign a girl doesn’t like you! Every time the two are you are forced into a tight space, either in an elevator, or forced to sit next to each other among a group of friends, does she find someone else to talk to? Or does she just any excuse she can to get out of your personal space?

If she does, you’re deep into the red zone. And it’s time for you to completely back away for good. She doesn’t like you. She almost hates you and is on the verge of labeling you a creep! [Read: The 10 types of creepy guys all girls avoid no matter what]

#17 You’re the one making all the effort. Okay, so maybe there are a few girls who expect guys to make all the effort. But that’s very, very rare. If the girl you like isn’t shy, and she’s literally not texting you first, or making plans with you, or even interested in keeping a conversation going, take the hint.

#18 She pretends like she has no idea you like her. Perhaps, she already knows very well that you like her, and she’s actively trying to pretend she can’t see it. Maybe she values you as a friend. Or maybe she doesn’t wait to make things awkward between you two. Whatever the reason, if you’ve been trying to flirt up a storm and she still ignores your intentions, stop it. And back away. If she were interested, you’d know by now!

#19 She’s uncomfortable around you. This sucks, big time! If a girl constantly fiddles or her phone, or looks around hopefully for someone else to join the conversation, you’re in a bad place. And it’s definitely a very big sign to know how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you. Excuse yourself if you can, or just give her some space to breathe, so she doesn’t start hating your presence!

[Read: The right way to talk to a girl – All the secrets to smooth talk and impress girls]

#20 Her conversations are dry. Whether it’s on text or in person, does she normally respond with one word answers? If a girl actively tries to create a boring situation every time she’s around you, you need to accept that she isn’t into you. After all, why would a girl appear so uninterested if she’s actually interested in a guy?

#21 Her body language is off. If a girl likes you, there are some very obvious body language cues she’s give away. But if she doesn’t like you, she’s avoid eye contact, avoid looking towards you for too long, and appear closed off around you.

[Read: 15 body language cues girls give away if they like you]

#22 She doesn’t get personal with you. She isn’t interested in getting to know more about you. She doesn’t ask about your friends or your family. And she dines’t seem interested even when you talk about yourself. It’s a low blow, but it’s one you have to accept and move on before you get left behind with a broken heart.

#23 She’s not excited to see you. Maybe she’s happy to see you, if she’s a good friend. But do you see her eyes light up with excitement when she sees you? If a girl is even remotely interested in a guy, she’s be excited to see him *it’s almost involuntary!*.

[Read: Here’s how girls ignore guys who try to flirt or hit on them]

#24 She ignores you on social media. Does she totally ignore your social media posts by not commenting or even liking them? If a girl is even slightly interested in you, she’d try to show her approval by liking your posts or even commenting of a few of them with random emojis. But if this girl doesn’t like you, she would probably scroll past your post without a care in the world. *ouch*

[Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it]

#25 She tells you directly. This is as good *or bad* as it gets. You probably asked her out, or you tried flirting with her. And she told you directly that she isn’t interested in you. Remember, no means no. She read your feelings, and she turned you down. Stop pursuing someone who clearly isn’t into you. Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so go about there and find someone else who’s interested in you.

[Read: The 18 qualities of a great guy that sets him apart from lesser men]

Now that you’ve understood how to tell if a girl doesn’t like you, keep your eyes and ears open. Because sticking around for slopping seconds isn’t cool on any level, so just don’t do it.

The post How to Tell If a Girl Doesn’t Like You: 25 Signs You Can’t Ignore! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

WATCH: Attracting Women with "Seducer's Touch"

My second video (in advance of the charisma-touch-lifestyle launch) is up now.

The topic is touch. Specifically, how to use touch to differentiate yourself from the vast majority of men women meet.

Most men touch women. But there's a wrinkle in the way they touch them that makes it come across not quite right.

Men more experienced with women learn to touch women in a way that's different from the way most men touch.

Watch the video here:

Start attracting and seducing women with touch.

(or click here to watch)

How to Tell a Girl You Like Her and Not Come Across Creepy

If you’re wondering how to tell a girl you like her, never do it out of the blue. Here are the steps you MUST take before you share your feelings with her!

Most guys just assume that when it comes to knowing how to tell a girl you like her, you just walk up to a girl you like and tell her how you feel. Easy, right?

Nope, that’s not how it works at all. Well, unless you know for sure she’s crazy about you already, and is waiting for you to make a move.

[Read: 18 hints a girl will subtly drop your way if she’s really interested in you]

It seems like knowing how to tell a girl you like her would be a simple thing to do. However, it’s really quite difficult. Girls have a tendency to get easily creeped out if someone is too forward with their feelings, yet you can’t just stand by, HOPING she’ll know how you feel.

Guys, on the other hand, feel pretty good no matter who says they like them. This–among many other areas–is where girls and guys differ greatly. So how is a guy to know how to tell a girl he likes her without coming off as creepy and weird?

Why you should always tell someone when you like them

Many of us do this. We like someone, and yet, we just lock that thought inside and spend hours fantasizing about how amazing it would be to date this person. And yet, we never make a move to confess our feelings for someone.

It’s weird because we get embarrassed about it even though it’s completely out of our control. And quite frankly, it’s a good thing for the other person to be desired!

But despite that, we still hold in our feelings and it’s just not good. What if you miss out on the opportunity to spend your life with that person? For the sake of not regretting your life choices, you should always tell someone when you like them. But if you do want the girl you like to give your confession a real thought *and hopefully even like you back* you just have to find the right way to do it.

[Read: How to make a girl like you without even telling her you like her]

How to tell a girl you like her in a way that seriously ups your odds

Now is time for the good stuff! Believe it or not, you have to develop a sort of strategy before you tell a girl you like her. Otherwise, it comes off kind of creepy and stalker-ish.

But have no fear! We are here to give you all the information you need on how to tell a girl you like her, so you can do so with confidence. If you do all of these things correctly, she won’t be weirded out at all, and who knows? Maybe you’ll even get a date out of it.

[Read: The art of charming a girl and flattering her into liking you]

#1 Don’t do it randomly. You can’t just walk up to a girl that you’ve never or barely ever talked to and just blurt out you like her. She’ll more than likely give you a very shocked and unpleasant look before walking away without saying anything.

If you do this, she’ll just be creeped out because she doesn’t even know you, and you don’t even know her. If you tell a girl you like her when you hardly know her, she only thinks you like her for her looks and that can be a creepy thing on her end. Follow these tips BEFORE telling her.

[Read: How to get a girl to notice you and build the attraction before you even talk to her]

#2 Talk to her occasionally. Before you even think about telling her you like her, converse with her. This is best done in a group setting so you’ll feel more at ease, and it’s not as much pressure when you’re addressing her with everyone else.

Simply mention something about the weather, your classes, a project you two are working on, or something you both relate to. This is the best way to get her to notice you and for her to see that you two may have more in common than she thought.

[Read: Things to talk about with a girl – 43 perfect conversation starters]

If you don’t have any friends in common, or it’s a girl you see ocassionally, you may have some difficulty with the first conversation. But don’t fear, just use this guide on how to start a conversation with a girl like a real gentleman to get that introduction and first conversation going.

#3 Get to know her better. Don’t just talk about random things ALL the time, get to know her better too. Ask her questions when she talks about a certain activity she does, and find out more about her. Not only will she feel more comfortable to open up to you this way, but you’ll get the chance to see if you REALLY like her.

Just be careful not to randomly blurt out questions when you’ve never talked to her before. Start with a small conversation and then ask something. Starting small, saves you from coming across as creepy in her eyes. [Read: 18 great qualities of a good man that catches the eye of women]

#4 Become friends with her. The best way to not seem creepy when you tell a girl you like her is to become her friend first. All relationships and romances begin with friendship. This situation is absolutely no different.

Of course, become her friend because you like her and the person she is. Don’t be the guy who gets friendly with a girl only to get into her pants, only to ignore her or get angry with her because she doesn’t have feelings for you. If your only intention is to sleep with her, maybe becoming a friend isn’t the approach you should be using. [Read: How to let a girl know you’re sexually interested in her and get her to sleep with you]

If you’re already talking to her and asking her questions here and there, you’re already on track to friendship. All you have to do is joke with her more and get closer, so she can see just how good a guy you are.

#5 Get to know her friends. Don’t just limit yourself to her. If you don’t get to know her friends and you tell her you like her, her friends are going to be very suspicious of you since they have no idea who you are. You have to get to know them, too.

This is actually pretty simple because if you’re becoming friends with her, you can become friends with them too. Spend time talking to each them here and there until you build a relationship with all of them. Having her friends know you and like you makes it much easier to tell her you like her. [Read: How to talk to girls and leave them all swooning]

#6 Compliment her subtly. Giving her small compliments that almost go by unnoticed is a really clever way to get a girl to warm up to you. Don’t just tell her she’s gorgeous or something too blunt.

Instead, mention you like the song she played or that her shirt is cool. You can even mention something about how her sense of humor is on point. Little things that don’t draw much attention to her physical appearance are the best and less creepy.

#7 Flirt with her from time to time. Get flirty! Flirting with a girl that you like makes it much easier for you to tell her that you like her. It’s also a great tool for you to use to gauge her interest in you, too. Tease her, joke with her, and keep eye contact when talking with her and that’ll prompt some fun flirting. [Read: How to flirt with a girl – A full guide to seduce her the friend way]

#8 Keep contact. If you’ve managed to be her friend, then you’ve probably secured her phone number, and you’re probably connected on social media. If not, make it happen! If you get her number, it makes it much easier for you to keep in touch with her when you’re not in person.

You can even text her and get to know her better this way without all the nerves from being face-to-face. Just be sure not to text her SO much that she gets annoyed. [Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

#9 Let it slip to her friends and yours that you like her. Just subtly say something like, “I wouldn’t mind getting to know her better.” It’s a really subtle way of letting it slip that you like her. With luck, those people then tell her. She’ll have an idea before you even tell her–which makes telling her easier.

#10 Get her alone and just mention you think she’s really interesting and you like her. It’s really that simple. If you’ve followed the above steps and succeeded, it makes telling her you like her go much more smoothly. If not, then you may even have a hard time getting her alone in order to tell her.

[Read: How to confess your love for a girl and never get rejected]

The best way to do this is to just steal her away from a group. That way, you’re still in a room with other people, but you have some time to talk just the two of you. Hopefully, if you’ve followed the tips above she’ll already have an idea that you like her, and it won’t be too much of a surprise.

[Read: How to get a girl to like you – 20 things you MUST know to tilt things in your favor]

It’s hard to find just the right way to know how to tell a girl you like her without seeming kinda creepy. Luckily, we’ve laid out all right steps for you to make your move in the nicest way possible. You’re giving her all the time to get to know you, while you flirt your way into her heart ever so subtly!

The post How to Tell a Girl You Like Her and Not Come Across Creepy is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Feminine Traits: Where Do You Fall in the Spectrum of Femininity?

As a woman, do you consider yourself to have the common feminine traits we all hear so much about, or are you dancing to the beat of your own drum?

Despite years of progression, it seems that society is still keen to fit women into a specific box with a label on it, like feminine traits. Maybe you don’t want to be defined by a box or a label. Perhaps you simply prefer to fly by the seat of your pants, be who you are, whatever that is, and refuse to adhere to so-called ‘norms.’ 

You know what that’s called? Bravery, and it’s admirable!

The most common feminine traits are considered to be things which all women must possess in order to be considered feminine, but what if you lack one? Does that make you less of a woman? Do you even care if it does? And, has femininity changed from the days when these traits were considered the norm?

[Read: How to be yourself: Unfake your life and love being you]

We all have a world of choice and it’s a wonderful thing to consider. While certain corners of society might have failed to catch on yet, they will eventually. For now, it’s simply a case of being the person you are, whether you exhibit masculine traits, feminine traits, or traits which encompass both or even none!

In my opinion, as long as you’re acting as a kind and good person, does it really matter about anything else? Do labels really matter? None of that matters!

There has been a lot of talk lately about femininity and what it should be, what it should look like in the modern day, and whether or not we’ve strayed from the so-called feminine traits of old. Of course we’ve strayed away from them, because times have changed drastically! The world is totally different to back in the day, and trust me, that’s a very good thing indeed. 

[Read: How to be comfortable in your own skin – 20 ways to love being you]

Women are no longer required to stay at home and birth babies until they’re no longer able. They no longer must focus all their care and attention on other people and not think about themselves. Women no longer have to be ‘seen and not heard’. And thank goodness for all of that!

I am a woman, yet I consider myself to have both masculine and feminine traits. I’m proud of that, because it means I’m a well-rounded person. But it also means I’m just being myself. I totally appreciate that some of you reading this might not identify yourself with any gender, and that’s fine too. It doesn’t matter what you identify yourself as there is no need for a label! As long as you’re acting as a good human being, labels are irrelevant.

[Read: Who are you? How to fine-tune your internal compass]

How do the feminine traits of old measure up to today’s age?

These feminine traits are interesting to talk about, because it shows you just how far women have come in terms of being pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, to these days when we’re knocking on the CEO’s door and threatening to break the glass ceiling at every eventuality. 

[Read: 20 subtle tips to be more feminine without losing who you are]

The most common feminine traits that are mentioned even in today’s age are: 

– Empathy

– Gentleness

– Kindness

– Compassion 

– A caring nature

– Sweetness

– Nurturing

– Tolerant

– Submissive

– Respectful 

I’m all for that list apart from the last two. 

Okay, as far as feminine traits go, respectful I can get on board with, but only if the person I’m supposed to be respectful towards actually shows me the same amount of respect. As for submissive? Erm, no, thank you.

I consider myself to be an empathic person. Someone who is gentle, kindle, compassionate, caring, sweet, nurturing and very tolerant. I sound wonderful, don’t I? The thing is, that is my good side. I have a bad side just like everyone else. I have days when I’m sarcastic to the point of rudeness, impatient, snap because I’m tired, and sometimes I’m lazy just for the hell of it. This is normal, and it doesn’t make me less feminine!

However, I never have days when I’m submissive. 

[Read: How to awaken your divine feminine and connect to your inner goddess]

Why? Because I have no idea why I would ever need to be. Think about your own life and ask the same question. Do you ever need to be submissive to show that you have feminine traits? 

When I refuse the label of submissive, it doesn’t mean that I’m constantly domineering and loud, it simply means that I don’t take unnecessary crap from anyone! Instead, I simply walk away from situations that don’t deserve my time. It doesn’t mean I’m deferring to another person or being submissive, it simply means I’d rather spend my time doing something fun and constructive. Life is too short.

[Read: Girly stuff stereotypes: 15 typical things not all girls like]

Now, if you’re talking about the type of submission that Mr. Grey seems to like, well, that’s something else altogether. However, I assume when the Elizabethans were figuring out what submissive meant, they didn’t mean the Red Room that Anastasia seems to like so much!

How have feminine traits changed?

From the list we’ve explored, it seems that they haven’t changed much at all, we’re simply bolder and less submissive than our sisters back in the day. If you lived in Victorian times, you were expected to keep your mouth shut, be seen and not heard. These days, we’re more likely to be heard and not seen. Hey, I say be proud of that! Be everything you want to be and then some. 

Feminine traits are admirable in many ways, because they allow us to be kind and empathic towards other people. This doesn’t necessarily mean that in order to exhibit feminine traits you must be a woman either, because men, women, non-binary people, and everyone else can all have feminine traits. We can all have masculine traits too. [Read: Masculine and feminine traits and how they’re different from each other]

Some might have more of one than the other, and other people might have an even mix. We’re all different and on some days we might feel like being less empathic and kind than others! That’s normal too and to be expected.

Relying upon female traits to get you through life may not be the most successful route however. You see, we need a mixture of traits to deal with any situation that comes our way. A well known masculine trait is strength of character. Now, does that mean a woman can’t show that trait? Of course not! Most of the women I know are certainly strong! 

Equally, a man should also show empathy towards those around him. It doesn’t make him more feminine either. It simply makes him a good human being who is showing kindness and understanding towards someone else and their potential problems and feelings. To me, that’s just a good person, not someone showing specific traits!

[Read: Being sex positive: What it is and why you need to get on board]

We are what we are!

Traits are traits and probably shouldn’t be labeled according to gender. In many ways, that’s what has changed most of all, and something which should be celebrated. 

We no longer need to identify as a specific gender and can simply be ourselves. That means being kind to others, showing empathy, being tolerant, gentle, honest and patient, yet it also means being strong, standing up for yourself, having drive and determination, and bravery. A mixture of different traits is the best route towards a happy and fulfilling life, but submissive? No, ain’t no time for that!

[Read: How to exude femininity and use your “womanly wiles” in your favor]

The most common feminine traits are still in circulation today, and that’s a great thing. Yes, we’ve changed but that’s because our lives have changed and we adapted to survive.

The post Feminine Traits: Where Do You Fall in the Spectrum of Femininity? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The Talking Stage: What Is It & How to Progress to the Next One

You’re not dating, you’re talking. What does that even mean? How do you navigate that part of dating and get past the talking stage?

The dreaded talking stage. To some, this is a nice place to be, that in-between spot after the initial introductions but before you’re actually dating. It can be confusing. It can feel like it goes on forever. And it can even be really enjoyable. But, the talking stage is different for everyone. Some people love it and others hate it. It can be frustrating or relaxing. It all depends on you, how you view dating, and your connection with whomever you’re talking to. 

What is the talking stage?

The talking stage is the time where you get to know someone but aren’t sure how interested you are. You know you like them enough to learn more, but aren’t sure enough to actually start dating them. Although this part of dating can be annoying because not everyone enters or leaves this stage at the same time, it is so important. 

[Read: These modern dating terms will help you master the evolving dating game]

This is the stage where you learn basics about each other that are really important. The talking stage can happen when you’re chatting online or dating the old-fashioned way. Use this time to talk about anything and everything, like TV shows, sports, and your job. 

This is usually the time you also get to know each other’s dealbreakers. You likely won’t see each other’s flaws, but you’ll share things that are important in your life. You’ll find out if they like traveling, they’ll find out if you smoke, you’ll learn their political leaning, and they’ll learn your religion. 

This talking stage can be confused with dating, but it is the period before two people actually start dating. It is when you are taking a step away from strangers or acquaintances but may not necessarily be hurtling toward romance either. This is the time when you feel each other out. You won’t be sharing your feelings necessarily, but you’ll get to know if you have feelings. The talking stage is when you find out if you’re both interested enough to start dating. 

[Read: How to remain hopeful while dating and not let heartache get in your way of finding love]

What happens in the talking stage? 

But it isn’t always as simple as it sounds. It seems like it would be, when you text before deciding to meet up or after a date or two before knowing if you really click. Sometimes it is true, but if you’ve dated, you know it gets more complicated than that. 

Generally, the talking stage is what happens before feelings get involved. It is the part of dating that isn’t dating. At this point, there shouldn’t be expectation or pressure. There isn’t a label of dating. You aren’t exclusive and can be in this stage with multiple people at once. You can be talking and flirting with multiple people, as long as they aren’t under the impression that they’re the only one. 

[Read: Dating multiple people: It’s not bad, but actually really healthy]

This is also usually a time when you’re unsure of the other person’s feelings or intentions. You’re talking and getting to know each other but aren’t sure where it’s headed. This is a time a lot of people would say they are feeling things out. You’re trying to see if there is something there or not. You probably find the person you’re talking to at least mildly attractive, but you aren’t sure if you want to move forward.

The talking stage could be seen as limbo. It is the place in between knowing you’re dating someone you’re interested in and just meeting them. And everything that happens during the talking stage is up in the air. This stage could end at any moment due to ghosting. Although the talking stage shouldn’t lack respect and decency, it often is. 

[Read: 20 very clear signs you’re on the verge of being ghosted by someone you’re talking to]

It could also be turned into dating or a friendship. It could be ended with a nice text saying you aren’t interested. This stage implies there are no obligations. You are simply talking with no rules or implications but a lot of confusion. Pretty much, the talking stage is before you get to the open and honest communication stage. 

[Read: How to let someone down easy: The full guide whether you do it in person or over text]

How long is the talking stage? 

This is a hard question to answer because it is so different for everyone. The talking stage for some could be a week and for others, it could be months. You may leave the talking stage after your first date because you felt a spark and shared a kiss. 

For me, the talking stage with my boyfriend lasted until around date three. We were talking for about three weeks before we really declared our interest in each other. We then began dating for about two months before officially being in a relationship.

[Read: Are you falling for someone? The biggest signs of an emotional connection]

But, this is so unique to each person and each pair. Not everyone enters and leaves these stages at the same pace. I was lucky. The biggest complication is that it lasts a different length for everyone. After two weeks, you may be ready to move forward while the person you’re talking to is fine the way things are. 

This is what makes the talking stage so confusing. You aren’t confident in your connection enough to outwardly share your feelings, but if you have them and they don’t feel ready to progress to the next stage, you get hurt. 

The talking stage to many is also fair game for ghosting. So, during that time if one person loses all interest, they may just stop talking while the other person is left waiting. This is where the talking stage becomes so frustrating. It could take one conversation to know you aren’t interested in someone, but sometimes it takes weeks or months. 

[Read: Why is he texting me if he ins’t interested? 15 reasons why people do this]

While someone is figuring out if they like you and if you click, you could be silently planning your wedding. 

Essentially, the talking stage should start after first being introduced or meeting. On a dating app, I would say, it’s when you’ve gone from the app to texting. 

This can then go on until you express your feelings and intentions. Maybe before even meeting them, you say how surprised you are by how fast you’re catching feelings. Maybe after the first date you know you’re interested and don’t want to talk to anyone else and you’re on the same page.

For others, you could be in this stage while talking to other people. You may go on dates and be feeling things out. Maybe after two dates, you realize they aren’t for you and then the talking stage ends. You could be talking to someone else and after a month realize you like them.

All in all, the talking stage can be a nice time to get to know each other layered with confusion and necessary patience. 

[Read: How to behave when someone rejects you but still acts warm and nice to you]

How to get past the talking stage

My best advice to navigate the talking stage is, to be honest. When you realize you’re interested in someone, say it. You don’t have to have intentions or be over the top, just let them know you’re interested, and that you’re not seeing anyone else. This is a good place to start. 

After a few dates with my boyfriend, I told him I deleted the dating app we met on because I liked him, and he said the same. This is when we went from talking to dating. It wasn’t until a couple of months later we became an official item. If I hadn’t said anything, we could’ve both been feeling that way for much longer without knowing how the other felt.

[Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

If you’re in the talking stage and want to move on to dating, it won’t just happen because you want it to. You can sit in the talking stage for months just pining for something more because you’re afraid to make a move or say something. You don’t have to jump from talking into a relationship, but going from talking to dating is a nice transition. 

[Read: Exclusively dating or casual fling? How to know your current status]

This gets you out of the funk and confusion of the talking stage and into a point where you can share your feelings. 

The only way to move past the talking stage is to say something. Tell the person you’re talking to that you’re interested in them and aren’t seeing anyone else. Yes, this could end things if they aren’t on the same page as you, but that is okay. This is the reason a lot of people will linger in the talking stage. They’re afraid if they say something, that everything will end. And they’d rather have this unsettling confusion than ruin things by being honest. 

No matter who you are, you’ve watched a “will they, won’t they” TV show and screamed at the screen for one person to just say how they feel so it can be out in the open and they could move on together or apart. Well, this is that moment for you. 

If you don’t share how you feel, you’ll never know what could have happened. Maybe they aren’t on the same page as you. Maybe they want to keep getting to know you. Or maybe they want to end things. But, isn’t that better than not knowing? 

[Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing overeager]

Rejection in the moment stings. But in the long run, is so worth it. Plus, you’ll never break out of the talking stage if you don’t say something. It is scary, but there is no subtle way to take that step and get past the talking stage. If you can share that you’re interested and are open to more, that is enough to lay down some sort of intention and move forward. 

[Read: How to manifest love: Take these steps to draw in your best love life]

So, are you ready to move past the talking stage? Remember these steps, take a deep breath, communicate your thoughts and move beyond just talking.

The post The Talking Stage: What Is It & How to Progress to the Next One is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.