Love is a strange and confusing beast. You may love someone and they don’t love you back. Or you could end up with a wonderful case of requited love.
Is there anything worse than being in love with someone who doesn’t return the feeling? I suppose war, death, and taxes can be. The most frustrating thing about love is you have no control over who you love or who loves you. The only thing you can do when someone doesn’t have requited love for you, is either move on or try to show them a side of you that they may not see otherwise.
What is requited love?
Requited love is the kind of love where you love someone, and they love you back too.
Before it reaches the love point, it can be that you both have feelings for one another and you’re probably going to start dating and explore where it takes you. [Read: 23 Intense signs of unspoken mutual attraction between two people]
Of course, requited love is the best type of love. Meeting someone who feels the same way about you as you do about them means that your heart is filled with flowers and rainbows.
You’re approved of, someone sees your positive points and adores them, and all of this helps you to have that warm and snuggly feeling that love is so famous for.
Having a case of requited love doesn’t mean that you’ve found The One, of course. You can have requited love with someone and it all goes terribly wrong after a while. We don’t want to sound negative here, but let’s be realistic. Sometimes life just gets in the way.
If someone feels the same as you do, it doesn’t guarantee longevity. What it does however, is makes you feel fantastic and gives you a chance at a long-lasting love. In most cases, you’ll feel like you’re floating on air. [Read: How to know when you’re in love: 50 happy signs you can’t ignore]
How is requited love different from unrequited love?
We hear so much about unrequited love. Almost every song is written about the pain and agony of meeting someone, falling in love, and them not feeling the same. That’s basically what unrequited love is. You fall in love with someone and they don’t feel the same back.
So, the key differences between requited love and unrequited love depend on whether the person you’re in love with has the same feelings for you or not. [Read: The step-by-step guide to get over unrequited love]
Unrequited love is pretty hard to live with for a while. Of course, you get over it in the end, and you probably meet someone who does feel the same. Yet before that time, you can’t get over the pain and upset that this special person in your life just doesn’t love you back.
Life is cruel sometimes, right? The good news is that it all balances out when you meet someone and you experience requited love.
[Read: What is unrequited love and how to deal with it]
Requited love – 17 ways to get someone to reciprocate your love
There is no magical way to stop loving someone. Unfortunately, you can’t just “turn it off,” and moving on is always easier said than done. [Read: 11 compelling signs that you’re facing unrequited love]
If you really feel as if there is something between the two of you that your requited love may be missing, try these 17 ways to peak their interest.
1. Find common ground between you
Although opposites attract, having similar interests is a great way to show someone a side of you that they may not appreciate.
When you are around them, try to make “special” connections and relate to them in their world. Soon they may find that they enjoy having you around more than they thought. [Read: How to get someone to like you immediately]
2. Try a new look
If you know that you haven’t put much effort into the way that you look lately, physical attraction is very important to a relationship and feelings of love.
Update your look, try working out, or find that “sexy you” inside you may not have known existed.
Likely, with a little effort and a good hair expert, you can go from average to awesome. Make them give you a second look. [Read: How to look hot – 18 tips to take you from boring to flawless instantly]
3. Better yourself
It isn’t just important to work on your outside look. Your requited love may be looking for qualities such as kindness, generosity, and empathy. If you are a little short on those things, you may want to find that special you inside.
Consider what you give to others and if you have been somewhat “shallow,” finding more depth to your personality may bring out something your requited love finds attractive. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or a taker?]
4. Find someone else
Trying to find someone else is key for two reasons. One, they likely start taking an interest in you once you aren’t blowing up their phone or looking at them like a lost puppy.
Two, there is no greater thing to make you look attractive than being unattainable.
We always want what we can’t have, and who knows if you find someone, they may be better for you. They may make your requited love wonder why they didn’t snatch you up and come running after you. [Read: The science behind craving them more when you feel ignored]
5. Stop calling and texting
Instead of trying always to be in their head, try taking a step back and not being available. They’ve probably become accustomed to you calling and texting. If you are getting the eye roll every time you try to connect, try disconnecting.
Not only will it force you to take steps to move on just in case you weren’t meant to be, but it will also make them miss you. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
6. Take on the friend role
No one wants to get stuck in the friend zone. Being their friend first helps you figure out what it is that they are looking for in a relationship. Once you win your way into their heart via the friend path, you have a special perspective no one else has.
You also earn their love, albeit in a different way. Love changes and evolves throughout a relationship. Who knows, it may turn into something romantic along the way. [Read: 13 naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]
7. Don’t always be there to help
Your requited love target has probably become used to you being their emergency contact. They have no idea what it would be like if you weren’t around when they needed someone. Show them what it would be by not being around.
The next time they get in a jam, show them that you have always been the one they can turn to. If that isn’t love; I don’t know what is. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted in a relationship]
8. Try pulling away
We are all creatures of habit. When we have things, sometimes we don’t want them.
What we can’t have often looks really amazing and becomes the focus of our desire.
If you start to show them you can live without them, you may make them take pause. Not only is it time for you to pull away for your own good and try to move on, but it also makes them think twice about the place you hold in their life, which may just be love.
9. Don’t make assumptions
The fact that you call them your unrequited love means that you have confessed your feelings, and they don’t return them, correct?
If you haven’t ever confronted or been honest about how you feel, then you haven’t given them the opportunity to tell you whether they love you or not.
You only assume from where you are now that they aren’t in love or couldn’t love you in return. The first step is to be honest with them. Who knows, once you let the cat out of the bag, you may find they have the same feelings for you but were just too insecure to tell you too. [Read: The almost relationship: It’s almost always never worth it]
10. Stop pretending to be someone else and be yourself
Sometimes, when we are in love with someone and are trying to impress them, we start to act goofy or differently than who we really are.
Trying to impress them, we do and say stupid things outside of our character. As hard as it is, you have to stop feeling awkward around them and let the real you shine. If you already think they don’t love you the way you love them, then what do you have to lose by just being yourself? [Read: How to subtly tell someone you’re in love with them and not get rejected]
11. Don’t wait around
Waiting and wishing won’t get you what you want.
In fact, the more you continue to invest in someone who isn’t invested in you, the worse you feel about yourself.
Waiting for someone to love you is like standing in quicksand. Pull off the Band-Aid and start moving on. Not only will it show your strong side, but it also makes you feel much better about yourself.
12. Make yourself unavailable
Just like not being there in an emergency, don’t ask how high when they say “jump.” If someone has figured out that you love them, and they don’t feel the same way toward you, they may be taking advantage of you whether you know it, or they do, at all.
The next time that they reach out to you, make yourself unavailable. Nothing is more attractive than someone who isn’t into us any more or blowing up our ego by always waiting in the wings. [Read: How to be emotionless: Ways to stop getting sucked in]
13. Think about whether you are really in love
Just like they may love you once they think they can’t have you, could it be that the thing you find so irresistible about them is that they aren’t into you?
Wanting what we can’t have is a really attractive thing, but may be a self-defeating behavior. Take a step back and think about whether you really are in love, or if you are just making sure you don’t have to commit for real. [Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]
14. Could it be you are looking for the unattainable?
Consider this scenario, they turned to you and said that they have been in love with you forever and simply can’t live without you.
Do you think you would jump into their arms and live happily ever after? Nothing is ever a fairy tale as we make it in our heads. Perhaps hearing they loved you too would make them slightly less desirable to you.
15. Think about all the things you don’t like about them
Okay, maybe they are absolutely perfect, but if you can, think of the small things that annoy you. Focusing on those things that aren’t all that hot helps you to turn your case of the hots into something a little cooler.
Focusing on the negative is not something we normally tell someone to do, but if you can’t have them, it is a great way of telling yourself you wouldn’t want to anyway! [Read: How to stop liking someone you can’t have – The 15 steps to let them go for good]
16. Would you want to be with someone who doesn’t adore you?
Don’t you deserve to be with someone who can’t live without you and thinks you are the best in the world?
Even if you think they are your dream mate, if they don’t think you are the most awesome creature alive, then you deserve something better. You are worth the same love that you give. [Read: How to stop feeling ignored by the one you love]
17. What is it about them that you love?
Try to pinpoint what it is about them that you love so much. There are a billion people on this earth. Surely, if you can find out what it is you love so much, there is another out there who will love you unconditionally for being you.
[Confession: What I learned from the man who did not love me…]
Nothing is worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you back. You have two choices; you can be yourself, wait, and wish that your unrequited love turns to requited love someday. Or you can take steps to move on and hope they change their mind.
The post Requited Love: 17 Ways to Turn Unrequited Love into Reciprocation is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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