Tuesday 8 June 2021

When You Open Girls, Keep It Low Pressure

open girls low pressureWhen you open a new conversation with a girl, it should be casual. You want to keep the pressure low to avoid spooking her and scaring her off.

I was checking Reddit and came across a few interesting posts by women. Here's part of one:

[W]hen a guy walks up to me on the street when I'm going somewhere and he outright says to me something along the lines of "Hey, you're pretty, what's your name", I'm almost always startled and want to leave asap. First, because I'm usually in a rush and need to get somewhere and he's stopping me and making me be late, second, because I already know what's on his mind. And don't get me wrong - it's really nice that someone thinks I'm attractive and I don't suspect every guy to constantly think of sex, it's just... he's already stating, in his very first words to me, that he's only talking to me because he's thinking of me in a "date material" sort of way.

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On the other hand, I've also been approached in bars, in clubs, on campus and in supermarkets/shops. What those situations had in common was me not rushing anywhere and those guys starting a conversation with saying something casual, for example asking about the lettering on my tote bag (it's sort of a wordplay). One mentioned that he thought my glasses were really cool and then showing me his, which were almost identical; another one asked me if I knew what the bar's specialty was etc.

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Basically what I'm trying to say is: all of the successful approaches were super laid back (I didn't feel 'hunted down'), gave me a chance to escape them without saying that I'm not interested (it's actually quite hard to tell such a thing to someone) or lying about having a boyfriend (that only happens when a guy is too persisent). Those guys also made it really easy for me to get into a conversation with them and actually let me talk to them like I'm a normal person (not just an object of physical attraction), thus making it easier to either exchange numbers or just expand our social circles (without any pressure). They made me feel like a nice human being, worthy of their attention not just because of my looks but rather because they found me be an interesting person to talk to (girlfriend material or not).

I don't recall having seen posts by women on r/seduction in the past. But apparently nowadays women are going on there, making positive comments about approaches they've experienced, and encouraging men to approach. Fun to speculate on why, but that's outside the purview of this piece.

Regardless, this gal raises a topic I'd like to explore more today: that of not startling girls when you approach, by keeping your approaches lower pressure.



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