You can’t prevent people from lying, no matter how hard you try. It’s the inevitable truth. This is why recognizing duper’s delight will benefit your life.
We live in a strange world where we must warn against duper’s delight. In an ideal world, everyone tells the truth. We would understand the motives of another person easily because lies simply wouldn’t be a thing. Unfortunately, this isn’t how the world works.
Lies are a part of human nature, and we can’t really avoid them. Some lies aren’t so bad, such as a small lie to make someone feel better, for example. However, when we’re talking about a pretty massive lie that can end in betrayal and deception, that’s where lies become bad.
If you’re naive and gullible, it can be difficult to tell when someone’s lying to you or deceiving you. You must read body language, know that person quite well, and understand another element too… duper’s delight.
[Read: The giveaways to tell if someone is lying to your face]
What is duper’s delight?
Duper’s delight is defined by the act of finding pleasure in the ability to lie to someone or manipulate them. Someone who is a master of deception, such as a narcissist, has a very bad case of duper’s delight much of the time. They don’t feel any sense of remorse even when deceiving someone to their face.
As long as it benefits them in some way, they’re happy to manipulate that person to earn things in their favor. Of course, someone telling a lie once doesn’t mean they’re particularly manipulative or bad because everyone lies occasionally. [Read: How to survive the power of the narcissistic duping delight]
However, if you see someone actively showing signs of manipulation or gaslighting, they could be displaying duper’s delight. A person who likes to deceive and manipulate others takes great pleasure in pulling it off.
It’s almost like a rush of pride and a sense of power that they believe they hold over another person as a result of the lies they’ve used to manipulate someone.
By understanding what duper’s delight is, and understanding the signs, you can get the concrete evidence to recognize it, as soon as someone displays it, however subtle it may be.
[Read: How do narcissists control you so subtly? And why do you still allow them?]
Why does a manipulator engage in duper’s delight?
Nobody can know for sure why someone chooses to deceive and manipulate someone with lie after lie. Maybe it’s always been who they were, maybe they went through difficult trauma that made them feel the need to have power over others using manipulation, maybe they just can’t help it.
Whatever the reason, they chose the default of lying and deceiving others while holding power over their naivety. Whether they intend to or not, they choose to manipulate and find satisfaction in controlling the behavior of others through their lies.
[Read: 15 signs of manipulation in a relationship you should never ignore]
Is duper’s delight and gaslighting the same?
The direct answer to this is yes, they’re the same. Duper’s delight is defined as manipulating someone, and gaslighting is just one of the many ways to manipulate someone.
The lines can easily cross between duper’s delight and gaslighting, especially since someone who engages in duper’s delight is practically also gaslighting you.
They’re lying to you without making it obvious that they are. Perhaps, they play the victim, maybe they reverse the situation, maybe they make you question everything you’ve ever known to be true. These are all signs of gaslighting, which can also be applied in duper’s delight.
[Read: How to spot gaslighting in a relationship & shut it down for good]
How to spot duper’s delight
Being on the lookout for duper’s delight means looking very closely at the body language and behavior of the person you suspect to be lying. You can never trust their words, but you can analyze their intentions through their actions and behavior.
Don’t be so naive and believe someone who seems to constantly lie to you or manipulate you, instead look closely at what they’re not telling you. You might spot a subtle smile here and there, usually at a moment you wouldn’t expect it. There is clear joy in what they’re doing.
The next time someone lies to you *for what you think is the umpteenth time!*, focus on these subtle clues, and you may just recognize the duper’s delight they’re so proudly displaying!
[Read: The traits of toxic people that can hurt and emotionally damage you]
1. The corners of their mouth twitching
One of the obvious signs of duper’s delight is when the corners of their mouth twitch into an almost smile. Especially when they successfully manipulate or deceive someone, they find joy in this.
They’re just so pleased and proud of themselves! It might sound evil or deceptive – that’s because it is, if you’re on the receiving end of this.
2. Biting their lip
Again, they’re desperately trying not to smile or laugh at their own success. Maybe they’re hiding their pleasure or they’re trying to hide their smile, but it’s one of the body languages you show when manipulating someone. It’s as if you’re trying to hide all your emotions through lip-biting.
3. Eyes squinting or creasing
People who’ve mastered the art of duper’s delight will do their absolute best to put a serious front when talking to you. In order to hide their lies and betrayal, their facial expressions need to be on point.
They do this by either squinting their eyes or creasing their forehead to appear more serious when all they’re doing is masking a big grin.
4. Fidgeting
Manipulators absolutely can’t stand still and they will always fidget when they’re lying. Watch their restlessness through their hands. Maybe they fidget with their phone, keys, wallet, or even their nails.
When can you notice these signs of duper’s delight?
The above signs are likely to occur when the mask slips a little. Remember, duper’s delight is overwhelming. It’s a sense of “I can’t believe I’m getting away with this.” In fact, they’re extremely proud of their duping ability.
The sad truth is a lot of these manipulators get away with their act unless the one they’re playing knows the signs of duper’s delight.
It’s easy to miss these signs, especially when they’ve been doing it for a significant period. When lying and manipulation are practically their default, they know how to hide the signs so well.
That is, until they meet someone who observes their body language with so much detail and attention that they’ll catch them before they successfully manipulate them. These signs will normally only last for a split second, so you need to be on the lookout if you want to catch them.
A professional liar or manipulator is likely to be very clever with their words. They’ll be very persuasive too.
Again, as mentioned above, it’s easy to blur the lines between gaslighting and duper’s delight. Someone could easily convince you that it’s all in your head – and this especially works if you already want to believe them because you care about this person.
Just as they convince you of something, and you accept their reasons, you may see these signs appear on their face. You want to believe they’re smiling gleefully because they’re just relieved to sort things out with you, but in all probability, they’re just laughing inside because they fooled you… yet again!
[Read: Understanding how people use emotional manipulation]
How to turn the tide on a duper
Once you’ve spotted more than a couple of signs and are pretty sure this person has lied to you or tried to manipulate you on several occasions, it’s time to turn the tide. [Read: 13 giveaways to tell if someone is lying to your face]
First things first, you must be sure. We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again. People do lie occasionally but that doesn’t mean they’re trying to manipulate you or hurt you. Watch closely for their body language if you suspect they’re showing signs of duper’s delight.
If someone in your life regularly twists the truth and manipulates you into doing or feeling something, sit up and take notice.
At this point, it doesn’t matter who they are in your life – someone you were just starting to get to know, or your best friend. [Read: Types of liars – 14 ways to confront them and not lose your cool]
It might hit harder if the person manipulating you with lies is your best friend or a loved one, but you know what you have to do. There’s no reason to tolerate their actions and behavior, even if you love them.
How do you turn the duper into a dummy?
You call them out, that’s how. You must be strong and make sure they don’t turn up the heat on their duping. Everyone is at risk of being manipulated, but it’s not possible if you’re onto what they’re doing. Don’t believe in their words, and take a stand. Ask them to explain themselves better, again.
Even if they try their hardest to convince you that it’s your fault or that you’re imagining things, don’t buy their words.
Raise an eyebrow and smile. You’re doing your own version of duper’s delight here! Say “oh really?” with as much sarcasm in your voice as you can muster. [Read: 15 ways a pathological liar hurts and confuses you with their lies]
You have the power now; you know what’s really going on. Manipulators thrive on having all the power, so the best way to not be controlled by them is to take all their power back. Respond with sarcasm and when they tell you one lie after lie, just laugh at each one and respond sarcastically.
We guarantee that they’ll be frustrated by your reaction and your resistance to their manipulation. Your actions will get them wondering and worrying too.
[Read: The biggest signs of a pathological liar & how to easily spot one]
Is this someone you really want in your life?
The bottom line? Do you really want someone in your life who finds joy in manipulating you?
It obviously depends who they are in your life *family member, friend, or partner*, but why do they feel the need to do this? The last thing you deserve is someone who finds pleasure and satisfaction in manipulating you.
There’s nothing you’ll benefit from having them in your life. In fact, all they’re doing is controlling you and hurting you in the best way they know. The closer they are to you, the better they can manipulate you – and they clearly know this. Anyone who does that obviously simply finds great joy in using other people as toys.
You’re not on this earth to be played around with. You’re not a pawn in someone else’s game, and you don’t need your actions and thoughts twisted by someone else. If someone regularly treats you as a pawn and finds joy in it, they’re simply not worth your time and attention.
[Read: How to manipulate a manipulator and escape their manipulative grasp]
The ultimate masters of manipulation
Duper’s delight is commonly associated with narcissists. These are masters of manipulation and people who find great joy in controlling other people to their own whims.
If you’re in a relationship with this type of person, figure it out and gain the emotional strength to get out of the relationship.
This is what often leads to toxic and self-destructive relationships that you should get out of as quickly as possible. As bad as it feels to be manipulated by your best friend or family, it’s even worse when you’re dating a manipulator.
They often have the upper hand in things so walking away is always the best option before you get stuck for good. Before you say anything, no, you can’t change a narcissist and manipulator. This is what they do, and you can’t fall for their potential to become better.
There’s no future with a narcissist unless you want to be constantly twisted, turned, and manipulated for the rest of your days. You deserve a lot better than that, for sure.
[Read: How to recognize selfish people and stop them from hurting you]
So, how do you deal with duper’s delight?
You’re practically dealing with a psychopath who finds pleasure in pulling all your strings to get what they want.
Hurting you, gaslighting you, and twisting your words is what gives them pleasure. And why would they want to stop doing that?
The only way out is to avoid giving in to their lies and walk away, as quickly as you can. Run away, if you can *metaphorically, of course!*.
Being able to spot duper’s delight takes the pleasure away from them and puts it firmly in your hands. It gives you all the control and power back. Most importantly, it makes you wise enough to not believe in their deception and lies.
The post Duper’s Delight: How to Read the Signs & Avoid Getting Manipulated is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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