What is cool to you? It changes from person to person, but if you want to know how to be cool, you need to work out your definition and go with it!
Let’s face it, we all want to be liked by people. There aren’t many people out there who just don’t care who likes them and who doesn’t. Perhaps we should aim to be more like those people, but it’s not something that’s easily achieved. However, there’s one thing you can be, and that’s cool. But first, if you want to learn how to be cool, you have to work out what cool means to you.
Because really, it’s is different to everyone, isn’t it?
For some people, cool is mainstream. For others, cool is quirky and off-beat.
Perhaps the best definition is simply being yourself and being okay with it. That’s something we can all reach towards and while it may take time to accept yourself exactly as you are, it’s very doable.
[Read: How to play it cool with a girl and impress her by keeping your calm]
What does it mean to be cool?
So, what is your general idea of cool? Maybe the image of someone you know pops into your mind when you hear the word. Or maybe you think of a particular celebrity.
For some people, there isn’t a particular person that inhabits what they perceive it to be, it’s just traits and the way a person carries themselves in general.
It could be:
1. Someone who completely accepts themselves the way they are
2. A person who helps others regularly
3. Someone who is confident, and not in an over-confident or arrogant way [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
4. When someone doesn’t care what others think of them as long as they’re happy
5. A person who gets along with most people
6. Someone who doesn’t allow problems to stop them from achieving what they want
7. A positive person
8. Someone who embodies their own style and owns it
9. A popular person – remember the ‘in’ gang in school? [Read: How to get someone to like you immediately]
10. Someone who can deal with a difficult situation with calmness
11. A person with a particular talent, such as music or art
The list goes on. Really, anyone can be cool, it just comes down to owning your own version of it.
Let’s learn how to be cool!
If you think about the people who you consider to be cool, you’ll notice that they all seem to share a couple of similar characteristics: they’re confident, friendly with everyone, and there’s something unique about them.
But other than that, there’s no formula that shows what being cool is, because it’s subjective. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you]
However, there are some basic guidelines you can follow to help bump up your own chances. After all, knowing how to be cool is an art form.
1. When you learn how to be cool, don’t focus on it too much
Here’s the thing, we all know the people that are “trying” to be cool. They’ll hang around the popular kids and kiss their asses if they need to, just to get validation.
But, truly cool people aren’t focused on what will make them look that way. They just are who they are.
So, though you’re going to follow these guidelines, don’t obsess about them because people will easily catch on. Don’t try too hard or overthink it! [Read: How to own your own unique type of attractiveness]
2. Don’t be needy
Cool kids have people come to them, not the other way around. They’re not needy or desperate. When you’re needy, people don’t feel that you’re reliable when it comes to your opinion. However, if you’re laid back, then people will feel the need to come to you and seek advice.
And plus, we all know that neediness isn’t attractive no matter who you are. Don’t beg people, don’t cling around them, and don’t have others solve your problems. [Read: 20 of the most common reasons people don’t like you]
3. You have to be yourself
If you want to know how to be cool, you need to be yourself. We know you’re thinking, ‘but being myself isn’t cool!’ But it is. You are your own person which is what makes you unique.
When someone looks uncomfortable or awkward in public, it’s only because they don’t like themselves. And they’re desperately trying to be someone else just to fit in.
So you need to remember that if you want to know how to be cool from within, it means being yourself in the most genuine of ways, and actually liking yourself for who you are.
If you copy other people and be someone you’re not, everyone catches on, which makes you uncool.
4. Keep self-advertisement to a minimum
You know in the movies how the cool guy is always the strong and silent type that reads a philosophy book in the corner of the cafeteria? Okay, well there’s a reason why people are drawn to him. It’s because he’s mysterious. He’s not telling you everything that you want to hear.
You don’t need to tell everyone everything about yourself. You can keep some things to yourself or your closest friends. That also means not oversharing on social media. [Read: The art of seduction – 25 sexy ways to smolder and ooze sex appeal]
5. Know how to communicate with others
You don’t have to sound like you’re selling cars, but you need to work on how you talk. Cool kids don’t use slang words that you can’t understand. They can actually talk to you and hold a decent conversation. That’s what makes them cool. You can actually talk to them.
The allure is gone when you meet someone who you thought was pretty special and they can hardly rub two brain cells together.
6. Work on your confidence
You never see the cool kid with their head down, eating their lunch alone in the corner of the cafeteria. No, they have their head up high, walking with confidence. That’s why they’re cool.
People wish they had the ability to have this person’s confidence in life. Remember, what makes someone cool is that they’re comfortable with themselves and don’t care about what other people think. [Read: How to gain confidence and turn your life around for the better]
7. Don’t judge others
Cool people don’t judge others, only the mean and insecure ones do.
Being judgmental may have worked for you when you were in high school and no one knew better. But once you’re all grown up, everyone looks down upon the mean ones. If you want to know how to be cool, then truly be cool about everything and everyone around you.
Avoid judging someone or passing a snide remark just because someone doesn’t seem to fit in with your standards or opinions.
8. Be likable when you meet someone
Be warm and friendly when you meet someone or are introduced to someone. Mysterious is good, but appearing surly or cocky is a huge turn-off for everyone.
Whenever you bump into someone, be genuinely warm and happy to see them. Let your smile spread all the way to your eyes.
And in that one moment, make anyone with you feel like they’re the only person you’re interested in talking to. When you give someone your full attention and warmth, even if it’s just for a minute, they will love talking to you and being around you. [Read: How to make people like you – 35 tips to charm absolutely anyone!]
9. Know that not everyone will like you, and be okay with it
This is something that you’re going to have to accept. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. We can’t all like everyone we meet or else we would literally have thousands of good friends and that’s just not realistic.
So, though some people may think you’re cool, others may not and that’s something you’ll need to get over.
10. Find your own style and don’t copy anyone else’s
If you want to be cool and have people admire and respect you, at the end of the day, you need to stick to your own style. Your personality isn’t something you can change, these are core characteristics that make you who you are. So, your style should complement them and help bring out those characteristics from you.
That doesn’t mean you can’t follow fashion trends but you have to wear them in a way that sums up who you are, and not copy them directly from the catwalk. [Read: How to discover self-love and happiness]
11. Treat everyone as equals
Some people just got lucky and they’re cool because they hang out with the right people or are really hot. But, once you talk to them, you realize that they’re actually horrible people.
If you want to stay cool, you need to treat everyone as an equal. You’re not better than anyone else and people shouldn’t get that impression of you.
12. Want to learn how to be cool? Know that less is more
Less is more. You’ve surely heard that saying, and it’s 100% right. When it comes to being cool, less is more. You don’t need to wear an entire Gucci outfit, from the shoes to the headband to look cool.
If anything, you’ll look like an idiot. Cool people don’t try so hard. Why was James Bond cool? Because everything he did was smooth and calm. [Read: How to look rich – 40 easy ways to look like you’re rolling in cash]
13. You don’t need to follow the rules
This doesn’t mean you should commit a list of criminal offenses – that’s not the point. What we’re trying to get at is that cool people aren’t petulant and whiny about rules and schedules all the time.
There’s this rebelliousness that is usually found in cool people. They’re willing to break the rules if needed, plus, it also makes them appear powerful which adds to their allure.
14. Don’t assume that learning how to be cool will give you a perfect life
Just because someone is cool doesn’t mean life is going to go smoothly for them. Here’s the thing, sometimes being cool can be a great help while in other situations, you wish you maybe weren’t so cool.
Yes, being outgoing and pompous can show that you’re pretty special, but it can also be seen as you being a jerk. It’s a balancing act that you’re going to need to figure out on your own. [Read: How to keep growing into a kind human]
15. Treat everyone with kindness and respect
Truly cool people aren’t assholes. They don’t stamp all over people or act in a disrespectful way. If you want to learn how to be cool, you need to treat everyone with kindness and respect.
Use your empathy to understand people and how they’re feeling. Don’t assume that you’re better than anyone and make sure that you help people out when they need it. [Read: How to be more empathetic and forge emotional connections]
16. Don’t let others know you’re stressed
If you want to know how to be cool, you need to be seen as the cool cat who just doesn’t seem to be affected by anything. You need to be seen as a bag of sunshine who can never be pulled down by any circumstance, and optimism flows out of every orifice of yours!
When you’re bothered by something, take a few minutes to focus on it, and when you feel like you have the answer you need, move on. Carrying your stress and anxiety around doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you a wreck.
Spend the time you need mentally on a problem, fix it, and move on. You could talk about it with your closest friends if you’d like. And remember that rumination is acceptable sometimes, but never over the same problem again and again. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]
17. Relax!
If you want to be cool, you need to relax. We know you read all of these tips and are now trying to figure out what and how to carry everything out, but listen, relax. The cool people aren’t freaking out and being dramatic every waking moment.
They’re called cool for a reason, and it’s because they’re chill and relaxed. So, being relaxed is going to be something you need to work on.
18. Have a cool mantra for life
“Tomorrow will come, whether you choose to be stressed over it now, or relax about it.”
Choose a motto or a mantra that can help you face life with a positive attitude. Every time you’re feeling down or aren’t feeling positive, remind yourself of a positive mantra. [Read: 21 positive mantras to live by that can transform your life for the better]
Everything will turn out fine in the end, you just need to find the way in the meantime instead of being stressed by it. So if you want to be cool, and stress-free, learn to handle everyday problems for what it is – small bumps in the road of life, and nothing more.
[Read: How to be more comfortable when you’re meeting new people]
We all want to be cool. Everyone loves having people like and respect them. Now that you know how to be cool, you just need to put the wheels in motion.
The post How to Be Cool: What It Really Means & 18 Hacks to Look Way Cooler is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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