Why a Baby Trap Is the Dumbest Idea You Could Use to Keep a Guy

Thinking that a baby trap is the best way to keep a guy usually ends in tears. Instead, focus on the problems in your relationship and solve them.

For as long as women have been able to get pregnant *i.e. forever* there has always been the risk of a baby trap.

Relationships have problems occasionally and rather than sitting down and talking about things, working through problems together, some women come up with an altogether more devious plan. Assuming that a baby is going to make your man stay is a foolish thought. What if you take the pregnancy test, it’s positive, and your guy leaves anyway?

Facing problems head-on and working together to solve them is the only way to ensure a happy and healthy relationship. Glossing over problems with a crying baby is not going to work.

What are you going to do when you’re both crazy from sleep deprivation? [Read: 10 big relationships in a problem and how to fix it]

What is a baby trap?

A baby trap is when a woman intentionally tries to become pregnant simply to maintain her current relationship with a man. It might also be to hold on to a guy when their relationship is rocky or they feel insecure. In some rather worrying situations, a woman uses a baby trap to make sure that a guy chooses her over another woman she sees as a threat.

You might read that, shake your head, and wonder why women would even attempt this type of tactic. But you’d be amazed at the number who do!

You know what they say, love makes you do crazy things. This is certainly up there with the craziest of ideas. [Read: 15 mistakes women make when they want a guy to commit]

How do women plan a baby trap?

Would a guy know?! Of course, the first thing you may wonder is, how could a guy not know when he needs to ejaculate into her to make a baby? How can he be surprised?

But there are many ways, aren’t there? A woman could tell a man she’s on the pill, when she clearly isn’t. She could puncture a condom! She could lie and tell him she’s allergic to latex condoms, and prefers to have unprotected sex. Some women even go to the crazy extent of using a freshly discarded condom to impregnate themselves. These are crazy, devious ideas. But if someone is even considering a baby trap, what less could you expect from them?

[Read: Stealth sex – What it is and how to stop an asshole from stealthing]

The biggest reasons why a baby trap is not the answer

It’s obvious why a baby trap isn’t a good idea, isn’t it? We hope it is obvious to you.

Trapping a guy by telling him he’s going to be a father will never bring you the results you want. That’s why we’re aiming to push this idea out of the mind of any woman who may be slightly considering it.

Hopefully, you’ll decide to work on your relationship in better ways, or simply realize that it’s going nowhere. Find someone who gives you what you need willingly.

Tricking a man into having a baby with you will never make things better if the relationship is rocky, it will only make things harder. Even solid relationships struggle when a new baby comes along. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that ruin your love life]

1. You shouldn’t involve a baby in your relationship problems

Anyone with a child will tell you that a BandAid baby, i.e. a baby born to save the relationship, rarely works. So, why would you want to involve an innocent baby in your underhanded tactics?

If a guy wants to be kept, believe us, he will be. Also, if he wants to leave, he will do so whether a baby is involved or not. You can’t force someone to be where they don’t want to be. You shouldn’t want to do so either. [Read: The most important things in a relationship that hold it together]

2. It’s very possible you’ll get found out

Depending upon the situation, it’s quite likely that the guy in your life will suspect what you’ve done. If you find yourself pregnant, you might be on your own.

Sure, a woman can raise a child alone, but do you really want that? We’re guessing not, considering your sole reason for getting pregnant in the first place was to salvage a relationship or keep a guy by your side.

As before, you cannot keep a guy where he doesn’t want to be, and it’s far better for him to choose to be by your side willingly than for you to attempt to coerce him. He’ll resent you forever if he finds out what you’ve done. [Read: How to stop the codependency for a healthy relationship]

3. You’ll never know how he truly feels about you

If your relationship is rocky to begin with and you intentionally become pregnant to solidify the union, how can you ever be sure whether he stuck around for you?

Don’t you want to feel like you’ve been chosen for who you are and not because you’re pregnant? You deserve that!

A baby trap isn’t the way to feel secure or happy. Yes, you will have a child that will always love you and who you will always love, but wouldn’t you rather that happen naturally, when it’s something you both want? [Read: Is love real? 15 happy signs that fuzzy feeling is real]

4. If you’re doing it to stop him choosing another woman, how will you feel if he still chooses her?

Sometimes, the heart wants what the heart wants, and nothing will change its mind. If your guy is stuck between you and another woman, you can’t be sure which one he will choose if forced to do so.

Maybe you’re not actually with him properly and he’s kind of seeing you both – shady, yes, but possible. If that’s the case, trying to baby trap him isn’t the right route at all.

Why? Because he might still choose the other woman and leave you co-parenting for the rest of your life. It’s not the right way to get someone to choose you. Quite frankly, you should never have to force the issue. [Read: How to stop being strung along by a guy and take a stand]

5. Having a baby is hard

You might think that getting pregnant will get the man. Maybe it will. Have you given any thought to what comes afterward?

The sleepless nights, the messy diapers, the tantrums, and the problems? Yes, a baby is a wonderful thing but when conceived in love and at the right time in life, no matter what your situation.

It’s not a good thing to bring a baby into the world if you’ve given zero thought to how hard it’s actually going to be. It might also break your relationship after the baby is born. This has happened to countless couples before. The reason? Because it’s seriously hard work being a parent. [Read: 19 things you MUST do as a couple before even thinking of having kids]

6. There is zero trust in the relationship

If you have to baby trap your man to keep him with you, you have relationship problems, it’s that simple. It’s entirely possible that you just don’t trust him – you certainly don’t trust him to stay.

He might also secretly wonder whether you have baby trapped him or not. In that case, he’s going to distrust you too. Basically, when there is zero trust in a relationship, it’s going to end very soon. Then, you’re left holding the baby – literally. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

7. Relationship problems will still be there

If you’re having a baby to put a virtual Band-Aid over a problem, it’s going to come off at some point. Relationship problems need to be faced and overcome.

If you don’t do this, they’re just going to fester and crop up again when you least expect it. When you have a child, everything is ten times harder anyway; just imagine how hard your relationship problems will be when there is a crying baby in the background.

Put simply, a baby trap never solves anything. [Read: Women’s relationship issues that all men must know]

8. Your baby deserves better

This might sound harsh, but it’s unfortunately true. We mentioned that it’s not a good idea to bring a baby into your relationship if things aren’t right. But, you also need to think about the impact this will have on them in the future.

It’s true that your problems aren’t going to disappear and there may always be an undercurrent of something negative between you. Basically, you’re stuck with one another, or at least your partner may feel that way.

Your baby, when they’re old enough to start picking up on these things, will notice. That will shape how they see relationships in the future because we learn from our parents. Basically, you’re not giving them the best start in life. Sorry, but it’s true. [Read: Being a child of a narcissist and 16 lasting effects you just can’t ignore]

So, what is the alternative to a baby trap?

Any solution is better than a baby trap!

Work the relationship. See what happens. We know it can be hard when you’re head over heels with a guy and things don’t go your way. But take it as a sign that it’s just not meant to be. Don’t force it. When you force things, it rarely ends well.

A baby trap isn’t the way forward. You’ll more likely create a possible mess that you’ll have to clean up. Then, down the road, you have to explain to your baby why their dad isn’t around or why you’re not together. [Read: Dealing with your love life after childbirth]

We’re not on a downer on babies here. Sometimes accidental pregnancies happen even when a relationship isn’t in great shape, but the point to remember here is that it wasn’t a trap. It happened naturally, and you have your own choices to make. When you intentionally baby trap a guy just to keep him where you want him, it’s underhanded, to say the least.

It also doesn’t say much about how you see yourself. If you have to trap someone to keep them in your life, perhaps you should be working on your self-esteem first and foremost? [Read: Being raised by narcissists and 18 harmful effects it will have on the baby]

Baby traps simply don’t work

You’re also underselling the millions of women around the world who have given birth and brought a child up. You simply shrug your shoulders and think, “oh, I’ll just have a baby, that’ll fix the problem.” It shows that you know nothing about how hard parenthood can be.

Of course, if you go through with it and you end up pregnant, you’ll find out for yourself how hard it is. Perhaps, you’ll wonder why you did what you did. That’s not to say you won’t love your child, because of course you will, but you might wonder how things would have been if you’d simply stuck with it and saw how your relationship worked out naturally. [Read: The clearest signs it’s time to give up on your relationship]

A baby trap is never the right route. Falling pregnant accidentally is something totally different. Accidents happen. Then we have to make our choices accordingly.

But, if you decide beforehand to intentionally become pregnant, either by intentionally not taking your contraception or sabotaging the protection that you use, you’re falling into negative territory. Take a long, hard look at yourself and what you’re doing.

Do you really want to use an unborn innocent life to trick a man into sticking around, and using the baby to manipulate a man into staying in love with you?

[Read: Am I manipulative? 20 behaviors showing you manipulate people in your life]

You might think that a baby trap is something that simply doesn’t happen these days. But you’d be surprised at the number of women who intentionally become pregnant in order to keep a man.

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