You met a great girl, and you think she could be “the one.” But, you need guidance for when to ask her to be your girlfriend. We have the tips for you.
If you are thinking about when to ask her to be your girlfriend, congratulations! That is a big step in your growing relationship and it will feel amazing to know you two are on the same track with your feelings.
This means you’ve gone through the first date jitters. You’ve heard her rant about her least favorite colleague and you probably know at least a couple of her guilty pleasures.
But, before jumping into an official relationship, make sure you know what that question means to you. You might think it is just a label, but to many people, it is a sign of commitment and a clear step forward together.
Knowing when to ask her to be your girlfriend is all about knowing what that term means to you and what it means to her. You don’t want to enter into something without being on the same page!
[Read: 25 sure signs the girl you’re dating is serious about you and wants a real relationship]
What does it mean to ask her to be your girlfriend?
This is a hard question to answer as it means something different to everyone. To some, the word girlfriend is just a word. It may mean you’re dating but that is all. It may mean you’re dating exclusively. And it may mean something more.
Think about what it means to you. Why do you want to ask her to be your girlfriend? Do you like hanging out with her? Is she hot? Do you want to do the silly man thing and “mark your territory”? Do you see a future with her? What changes in your mind when you ask her to be your girlfriend?
These are the things you should be thinking about right now. Before knowing when to ask her to be your girlfriend, you need to make sure you know what doing that means.
Are you asking her to commit to you? Do you want to be official? Are you asking her to go public with your relationship? Does it mean you both see potential in one another for a life together?
Once you know what asking her to be your girlfriend means to you, it is a good idea to talk to her about it, unless she already made it clear.
Does she want a relationship? Is she looking to settle down or is she more of a free spirit wanting to remain casual?
Knowing these things not only prepares you for possible answers but also lets you know how to ask her out when that time does arrive. [Read: 20 signs she is falling deeper in love with you and wants more from you]
Are you ready to ask her to be your girlfriend?
So, how do you know if you are ready to ask her to be your girlfriend? Well, it isn’t too hard to figure out. If you think about asking her to be your girl when you’re with her, you are probably ready.
It shouldn’t feel forced or too soon. Although it is normal to feel anxious, it should also have a sense of naturalness to it.
It should feel right to want her to be your girlfriend. You may be nervous about her response, the situation, and how exactly to ask her, but you will know that it is right.
We, as humans, tend to overthink things, but your readiness to ask her to be your girlfriend will be relatively obvious. If your relationship has gone from politeness and shyness to comfort and openness, you are probably ready to take the next step from casually dating into a relationship.
Sure, asking her to be your girlfriend may bring up fears and doubts from the past, but deep down you’ll know it is right. [Read: How to ask a girl to be your girlfriend and get her to say yes]
When to ask her to be your girlfriend – The exact timeline you need to know
Now that you know the commitments and expectations that come along with asking a girl to be your girlfriend, let’s talk about the ‘when’ now.
There is no perfect timeline or schedule to follow when it comes to asking her to be your girlfriend. [Read: How to show commitment in a relationship and make them feel secure]
You can’t tell yourself that after 10 dates you’ll ask her out, or after 3 months you’ll be official. Relationships do not work that way. There is no ideal formula to make sure you know when to ask her to be your girlfriend.
Of course, we’ll share a general guideline on what works best, but you’ll still have to take the decision yourself.
Try not to look at the amount of time you’ve been together or what is “normal” or practical. Yes, you probably shouldn’t ask her to be your girlfriend before knowing her last name, but your feelings will guide you.
Each and every relationship is different. They thrive at their own pace. And even the start of a relationship, down to the official asking out, is different for everyone. [Read: Why saying “I love you” too soon just sucks]
What may be far too soon for some couples might be perfect timing for others and vice versa. Once you are semi-aware that you are on the same page about what you’re looking for, and you feel like you know you want to spend more time together seriously, it is a good time to ask her to be your girlfriend. [Read: 25 signs she’s very serious about you and is looking for something real]
So what’s the general ideal timeline to ask a girl to be your girlfriend?
There are so many circumstances and scenarios that matter when it comes to exact timelines to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, but we’ll try our best to give you a general guideline. But remember, you don’t ever have to stick to this rule.
If you feel like she’s really into you, and you’re into her, ask her if she’d like to get exclusive sooner.
On the other hand, if you both have personal reasons to take a step back and wait it out just a while longer, go right ahead and delay the exclusivity talk for just a bit longer. [Read: The talking stage – What it is and how to progress to the next one]
Three months – This is how long you should wait if you’re dating
If you two met each other on a dating app, or were first introduced to each other as prospective dating partners, three months is your answer.
You were never friends, and you’re hanging out with the sole intention of dating each other. So three months is enough time to get to know each other. Even if both of you take things slow, you two would have met each other several times by now, and probably met each other’s friends as well.
You don’t have to get cheesy and go down on one knee, just sit down with her and have the ‘Define the Relationship’ talk. It’s definitely time. [Read: When to define the relationship – 20 signs it’s right now]
Three months – If you’re both friends already
If both of you have been friends for a while, and have started seeing each other a lot more often or have even started dating each other and making out, three months is your comfortable limit to take things forward and ask her to be your girl.
Really, you’ve both known each other for ages as friends, and now you’ve tested the waters as a couple as well. So is there anything left to clear up? No, three months is good enough if you’re wondering when to ask her to be your girlfriend if you’re both friends already. [Read: Are you more than friends already? 17 signs to know for sure]
Six months – If you’ve been casually dating and dating others as well
This is tricky, because both of you like each other and are intimate with each other. But at the same time, you also like other people as well. There are a lot of characters involved in this play, and you need to start weeding them out one by one.
If both of you have multiple partners, you cannot rush this at all! You have to take it slow, end your other casual relationships one at a time, and see if this girl is doing the same as well. End all other relationships, delete all hookup and dating apps, and make it clear you’re not seeing anyone else.
And hopefully, she’s doing the same as well. *in fact, she should be doing the same, or you can give up on asking her to get exclusive*
Once all that dust is settled, talk to her and ask her if she’d like to get exclusive and be your girlfriend. Whew, there’s a lot of paperwork in this, guys, so don’t rush if you’re both seeing other people. [Read: 16 well-hidden signs you’re not the only one she’s sleeping with]
Two months – Sex buddies to something more
So both of you are having sex and liking it. Great! And now you both want more than sex. Great-er!
If both of you have been good friends, and ended up hooking up on exclusive terms, there’s nothing wrong with that. Now, you only need to decide if it was just a horny sex thing, or do both of you have a mushy relationship thing in mind.
When you have sex with someone, you’re already emotionally connected and invested in the relationship to some extent. So instead of just sleeping with each other, start planning dates and bringing romance into the relationship. And once you’re certain she likes you as more than a sex buddy as well, ask her if she wants to get exclusive. [Read: How to read the signs your casual relationship is getting serious]
12 months – This is shitty timing!
Oh, come on, really? Is there really ANY excuse to wait this long to get exclusive or ask her to be your girlfriend? There are just two reasons why anyone would wait this long.
One, you’re not dating her and you’re only pursuing her. So that probably means she doesn’t really like you. Maybe it’s time you move on, really!
And two, it was a relationship of convenience, and you both were happy just hooking up. But now, you’re worried you may lose the perfect arrangement, and so you want to ask her to be your girlfriend so she can stick around for a while longer.
If you’ve waited over a year to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, chances are, you, her, or both of you don’t really care about each other. But hey, that’s the case in general. Maybe you have a very valid reason to wait this long. But wait no longer and ask her to be your girlfriend right now!
Use this guide on how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend and make sure she says yes even before you ask her!
What you need to be ready for when you ask her to be your girlfriend
Now that you know the exact timeline for when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, let’s get to the parts that matter more than just popping the question!
Most people think it’s great to be in a relationship. But as with anything in life, you have to give up something to get something. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way life is.
So, if you want to know when to ask her to be your girlfriend, think about these things that will change for you once you ask her for a deeper commitment. Are you really ready for it?
1. Commitment
Some people love commitment, and others find it constricting. It’s great because you know you can always count on your partner, but it also limits your options.
When you’re committed to your girlfriend, you can’t go out with anyone else. So, think about whether you are actually ready for commitment.
2. Consistent communication
Most girls like to communicate with their boyfriends on a regular basis. This includes things like good morning and good night texts. Texting throughout the day. A lot of them like talking on the phone too. Are you ready for that? [Read: How to show commitment in a relationship and make her feel secure]
3. Thinking about the future
When you’re in a relationship as an adult, it’s natural for a woman’s mind to wander toward the future.
She’ll be thinking about marriage, kids, and where the relationship is going. So, you will need to be mentally prepared for that.
4. Less “me” time
If you’re an introvert, you will get less alone time that you crave. If you’re an extrovert and like going out partying with your boys, then you will have less time to do that too.
5. Doing more couples things
You should also expect to spend a lot of your leisure time going out with other couples. She has friends that are in relationships, and she will want to do fun things with them. So, you might have less one-on-one time than you want. [Read: 20 healthy expectations in a relationship that define a good love life]
6. Not talking to other girls
Maybe you have female friends, or maybe you just like hitting up girls on social media to boost your ego.
Regardless, a lot of girls get jealous when you talk to other girls. So to make your new girlfriend happy, you will have to stop doing that – or at least cut down a lot. [Read: 15 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend]
7. Going off dating apps
If you met on a dating app, you will have to delete it. If she sees that it is still on your phone, she will get angry.
And worse yet, if you are still getting notifications, she will think that you are actively looking for and talking to other girls. She will feel like she’s not good enough for you.
Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. This isn’t a marriage proposal or even a proposal.
If she loves romantic gestures, you can take her to a fancy dinner and ask her to be your girlfriend. But if she doesn’t like big to-dos, you can ask her while cuddling on the sofa with popcorn. [Read: Should I ask her out? 30 complete signs to know for sure if she wants to date you]
You are prone to worrying about the wording, the atmosphere and knowing the perfect moment when to ask her to be your girlfriend but in reality, none of that matters much.
Sure, it is sweet to make a big fuss or buy her flowers, but it isn’t necessary. You don’t need to prepare a romantic night or poetic speech. As long as you share how you’re truly feeling, it will all go well.
I once had a boyfriend ask me to be his girlfriend after two weeks of dating. I had just met his friends for the first time and he said that once he saw how well I got along with the people he cared about most, he knew he wanted me in his life in a more serious way.
It wasn’t a big show or particularly romantic, rather, it was spontaneous and perfect for us at the time. I could see that he meant what he was saying and how happy he was when I said yes. [Read: How to tell if you’re in an exclusive relationship already]
That is the kind of moment you want when you ask her to be your girlfriend.
When you know for sure that she is what you want and can’t see her out of your life during the foreseeable future, just do it. ??Staying true to your feelings is the most important thing you can do when you ask her to be your girlfriend. She will see how genuine that is and her response will show it.
Trying too hard or asking her to be your girlfriend because you think you should, you think she wants you to, or because you think it’s about that time will come off as lackluster and insincere.
The expectations from a boyfriend you need to remember
After you ask her to be your girlfriend, you have to know how to keep her. You can’t just expect to act any way you want to and have her want to stay with you. So, here are some tips for how to be a good boyfriend. [Read: 22 signs she wants to be exclusive with you and wants your commitment]
1. Be empathetic
Empathy is very important in a relationship. It means that you have to try to look at situations from her point of view, and not just your own. If you don’t do that, then you are being selfish… which no one likes, especially girls.
2. Listen to her
Let’s face it – girls like to talk. And some like to talk a lot!
So, you will have to be prepared to be a good listener. If she’s venting about her bad day, just listen and don’t try to fix her problems. Most girls just want you to sit there, listen, and make her feel better.
3. Care about her needs
You need to put her needs at least equal to – if not before – your own needs. When you ignore her feelings and what she wants, then she will get resentful.
Remember that the world does not revolve around you. She wants to have her needs fulfilled too. [Read: How to make your girlfriend happy and feel like the luckiest girl ever]
4. Communicate your feelings
Girls don’t like it when you keep your thoughts and feelings all bottled up inside.
If you love her, say it and show it! If something is bothering you, then talk to her about it. They like it when you communicate these things to them. So, don’t be a “macho” man… express those feelings to her!
5. Be a gentleman
Guys, chivalry is not dead! You might like to think it is, but you really need to treat your girlfriend with the utmost respect.
Open doors for her *even her car door* and be a gentleman. Be a classy guy that she’s proud to show off to her friends. [Read: 15 courteous ways to be a gentleman and keep her happy]
6. Don’t be lazy
Once guys get into a relationship, a lot of them get lazy. Don’t lay on the couch all day and skip the showers. You shouldn’t play video games 24/7 and ignore her.
This laziness is very unattractive, and she might start wondering what it’s like to be with a guy who puts in a lot more effort.
[Read: How to be a good boyfriend – 33 traits that’ll make you the best ever]
If you are wondering when to ask her to be your girlfriend, you are already part of the way to the finish line. Simply knowing that you want her to be your girlfriend and why, will lead you to the ideal timing and situation for you and her.
The post When To Ask Her To Be Your Girlfriend: A Checklist to Time It Right is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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