23 Signs & Why He Is Afraid to Fall for You and Scared to Commit to Love

You’re getting mixed signals from him, and you don’t really know how he feels. So, you should be looking at the signs he is afraid to fall for you.

Men are exhausting. Honestly, they think women are the complicated ones. But when it comes to love, many men are simply terrified of the concept, causing a lot of unnecessary drama. But understanding the signs he is afraid to fall for you will help cut the drama out of your life.

Most women spend their time analyzing texts or situations that have happened with a specific guy, even when they know that the guy likes them. Why? Because men aren’t always upfront about their feelings.

Now, this isn’t to say all men are like this. But, every so often, you’ll run into a guy who’s afraid of falling for you, even if you are perfect together. [Read: 20 subtle signs a guy likes you but is trying not to show it]

Before we talk about the signs he’s afraid to fall for you, let’s talk about why some people are scared of commitment and intimate relationships.

Why are some people scared of commitment and intimate relationships?

Why is he afraid to fall for you? You might not understand why some people are scared of intimate relationships, but there are a lot of people in the world who are. So, if you wonder why that would be, then here are some common reasons.

1. Fear of failure

Some people are so scared to fail at a relationship that they hold themselves back from even trying.

People with this mindset are not going to commit to anyone under any circumstances because they think it will lead to their failure.

2. They enjoy the single life

Some people love being on dating apps, and the whole single life. So, if they got into a relationship, they wouldn’t have that freedom.

When you’re single you can talk to whoever you want if you’re in a bar and do whatever you want, whenever you want. When you’re committed, you can’t do that. Giving up that lifestyle is one of the reasons some people avoid intimate relationships. [Read: Is he leading you on? 28 signs and reasons why he’s playing games with you]

3. Peer pressure from friends

If all or most of their friends are single, that might make them want to remain single too. People tend to be like the ones they spend the most time with.

So, if the majority of their friends are living the single life, they don’t want to be the odd one out. Their friends might even frown upon them if they get into a relationship, and they don’t want to lose the approval of their peer group.

4. Bad past relationships

Some people have had some really bad, toxic relationships in the past. And if that’s true, they might prefer being single because they don’t know what it’s like to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Just the mere idea of commitment might sound miserable to someone who has had bad relationships. 

5. Fear of abandonment

While this may sound counterintuitive, some people fear being left by other people so much that they choose to be alone so no one can reject them.

The fear of abandonment can be so bad that they fear commitment because if a relationship is good, it will be too painful if they get broken up with. [Read: Abandonment issues and how it affects your relationship]

6. Nasty divorces

Divorce is never easy on anyone. But depending on how bad and nasty it was, this could lead someone to not wanting to even get close to marriage – or even a relationship – ever again. They don’t ever want to go through the pain of divorce again or splitting up their finances and assets.

7. Afraid of losing their independence

Some people value their independence more than they value being in a relationship. A lot of people don’t want to answer to anyone.

If they want to go on a vacation, they get to choose. If they want to not make the bed or simply eat ice cream for dinner, then they can do whatever they want. When you’re in a relationship, you have to consider other people’s desires, not just your own. And they don’t like doing that.

8. It just doesn’t feel right

Maybe someone is dating someone but doesn’t want to commit because they see some red flags.

It could be that they don’t like your family or friends or they see some habits that you have that they know they won’t like. And maybe something in their gut just tells them this is not a relationship they want to get into. [Read: How to follow your gut instinct – Tried and true methods to follow]

The clearest signs he is afraid to fall for you even if he likes you

Now that you know why some people are afraid of intimate relationships, let’s look at the signs he is afraid to fall for you.

This can get confusing and exhausting because there’s a lack of communication between you. But, for men, once they feel a little out of control, they pull back.

Sure, he may really like you, but if he feels weak or emotionally irrational—he freaks out. And who knows, maybe he had a bad relationship in the past or mommy/daddy issues. You don’t really know where this fear comes from. But I know you want to figure out what’s going on so you can make a decision.

If he likes you, but he’s scared, then maybe it’s time for a conversation. If he’s just playing with you, then it’s time to move on. So, here are the signs he is afraid to fall for you. Because not all men know what they want. [Read: 13 signs he’s not playing you and is actually not interested in you]

1. You feel it

This one is so true. If you feel it, then it’s probably true. Your intuition is strong and should never be ignored.

Now, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to make a move; that’s a different story. If you feel like there’s something going on with him, well, you’re not wrong. [Read: How to make the first move on a guy – 15 creatively sweet ways]

2. He acts differently around you

When he’s with his friends or other people, he’s completely cool. But when he’s around you, there’s this shift of energy.

Now, when he’s around you, he’s either laying on the charm or nervous. Both are signs he’s into you but afraid of what to do or how he feels.

3. It’s all mixed signals

Usually, men who are afraid to fall for you, even though they like you, will give you a big mess of mixed signals. One day they’re hot. The next day, they’re cold.

This is why many of us struggle with “reading the signs.” But that’s because they’re having problems understanding and accepting their own feelings. [Read: The mixed signals from a guy guide that all girls need]

4. He’s checking you out

Maybe you didn’t think he was into you, but if you caught him eyeing you, well, there’s your sign. It’s an easy way to tell if someone is into you. You don’t stare at people you’re not attracted to, right? Exactly. If his eyes are on you, there’s a reason why.

5. When there’s a moment to make a move, he freezes

There’s usually a moment when the two of you are looking at each other, and you feel that something is going to happen.

At that moment, usually, something does happen. But he’s terrified, so instead, he freezes and will change the subject or leave. And this is clearly one of those strong signs he is afraid to fall for you, whatever his reason may be.

6. He has a jealous side

When you talk about other guys in front of him, he gets a little jealous. Though he’ll never admit it, you know why he’s jealous.

If he’s changing the subject or unable to control his feelings, well, he’s not pleased. But if he’s not making a move, then he has nothing to complain about! [Read: 30 wicked ways to make a guy jealous and win his attention]

7. He’s touchy

He’ll hold your hand; he’ll kiss you and hug you. But then there’s a limit. You feel like he puts up a wall when it gets to a certain part. And that’s because he does. He doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea even though he’s clearly playing with you.

8. He’s overprotective

Though he’s not admitting that he has feelings for you, he’s very protective. Not in an obsessive way, that’s a red flag.

But, for example, he’ll walk you to your car or to your front door. Going that little extra mile shows you that he cares, and it’s one of the signs he’s afraid to fall for you.

9. He’s not taking it to the next step

If he really wanted to be with you, he would rush to take things to the next step. But instead, he’s turtle slow. He’s not in any hurry to turn your relationship serious. And this is because he’s afraid of his feelings and isn’t ready to be with you. In other words, he has some issues. [Read: 16 signs a guy likes you but is scared and uncertain of what to do]

People who really want to be in a relationship with someone won’t drag their feet. Instead, they will jump in head-first because of their excitement. So, he’s obviously holding back for some reason.

10. He can’t handle any future conversations

Maybe you brought up an idea to travel during the summer, and though he seems excited, he also looks like he’s freaking out. And that’s because he is.

Yeah, he likes you, but he can’t handle it. He’s terrified. And when you talk about the future, he thinks that this will lead to him falling for you – which he doesn’t want.

11. He never admits how he feels

Even if the world was about to end, he would never come clean and tell you how he feels about you. Everyone around you knows how he feels, but he’s still the last one to admit it.

It’s not like you didn’t know already! Some people are just not good at expressing their feelings and emotions. That doesn’t make them bad people, it’s just who they are. [Read: 15 signs he thinks about you a lot even if he’s playing it cool]

12. You spend a lot of time together

Here’s the thing, you both spend a lot of time together. Friends don’t spend as much time together as you do with him. And that’s because you aren’t friends. There’s something more going on underneath the surface, and no one is coming clean about it.

13. He’s silent about your relationship

Another one of the signs he’s afraid to fall for you is that he’s silent about your relationship. When people ask you about your relationship with him, you blush, and it’s obvious how you feel. But when he’s questioned, radio silence.

He knows how he feels about you, but he can’t bring himself to accept his feelings. So, instead of admitting his emotions, he does the opposite. [Read: 30 lusty signs he’s irresistibly attracted and wants you bad]

14. He’s all about the compliments

If a guy is always throwing compliments at you, well, you know he’s into you. But if he’s overdoing it, he’s not sincere.

Usually, when guys compliment women, they’re testing the waters, seeing how she reacts. If he’s scared to fess up his emotions, then he’ll be heavy with the compliments. [Read: How to decode compliments and mine them for their true meaning]

15. He’s always nervous

Some guys aren’t poised when they’re around a woman they like. Maybe he’s always fidgeting when you’re around him or sweating like a pig. Well, it’s a great sign he likes you, but it’s also a sign he’s completely terrified.

Will he ever make a move if he’s afraid to fall for you or scared to commit?

You probably can’t understand why he would be afraid to fall for you. That’s because you like being in intimate, committed relationships. But not everyone is like you.

Sure, most people in the world do like being in relationships, but not everyone does.

At the end of the day, you just need to realize that everyone is different. You might want him to fall for you, but for whatever reason, he’s holding himself back.

[Read: 47 secrets to get a guy to commit and realize he really needs you in his life]

After reading the signs he is afraid to fall for you or is scared to commit, what do you think? If he is, then what are you doing? It’s time to either confront him or move on.

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