When everything seems to be going wrong, it’s easy to think about giving up on love. However, your break could be just around the corner.
Love can be great but in many cases, it can suck too. REALLY suck! Forget all of those fairytale movies about how the guy comes swooping in and rescues his damsel in distress. They fall madly in love and live happily ever after… as soon as they defeat those bad guys. The fact that this rarely happens causes many people to give up on love altogether.
The truth is that love is NOT that simple. Behind all the butterflies and fairy tales, love can sometimes create an ugly, heartbreaking side.
Nobody ever explained that part of love to you, so we want to make sure that you’re well informed before diving into a relationship, or even giving up on love! [Read: Do you believe in love or have you given up on it?]
Okay, so love might not be ALL bad
You can blame your cynical ways and nightmarish past relationships for wanting to give up on love, even if love feels like a pain in the butt. Truthfully, love is good. And all of us love people and things all the time. That’s why we spend years upon years in search of our “one true love.”
Love means having someone to share your secrets with, someone to support you when times get tough, and even someone to tell you when you’re being a whiney little brat and you need to shut the hell up.
Everyone should have that person in their lives. Yet, finding them can be a tough task.
The old “you need to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince” adage isn’t far wrong. Maybe you’ve kissed a lot of frogs, and many toads too. Or maybe not. [Read: 15 signs of a bad first date that reveal a total lack of chemistry]
The other problem is that not everyone is genuine. Almost always, this just makes anyone feel like giving up on love.
You think you’ve found someone who could really have potential but they go and break your heart in the ugliest of ways. You can never know someone’s true intentions with your heart and that’s really the scariest thing about love.
You literally have to hand your heart to someone else *you may not even know them well!* and just hope that they don’t drop it and stamp on it ten times for good measure.
Giving up on love isn’t the solution
You may be thinking, “No. I don’t NEED someone who hurts me. I am just fine on my own.” And while we completely believe that you can live life without having that type of companion, we know that deep down, if you feel like giving up on love, there’s a possibility that you secretly wish for that perfect one in your life. Otherwise, you just wouldn’t even think about the desire to have one, or give up on one. You just won’t care!
Nobody should feel so helpless in their love life that they actually give up on love altogether. We’re all for not looking for love, e.g. enjoying your life and focusing on yourself because when you do that, you ironically entice love your way. What we don’t think you should do is give up entirely and decide that’s it, you’re giving up on love.
To help you avoid turning cynical, check out these really important things you should consider before throwing in the towel and calling it quits with love for good. [Read: Do you feel lost in life? Here are the best lessons to find your way again]
1. You might feel it sometimes, but you’re not alone
In fact, there could be a very attractive, kind, and sweet person out there who’s perfect for you and who is feeling the same way you are: that love sucks and they should just give it up.
There are thousands of people every day crying over buckets of melting ice cream, playing breakup songs on repeat, and swearing off love for good because they just can’t seem to get it right. You’re not the only one feeling this way. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? The answers that can change your life]
2. Love doesn’t happen right away
Contrary to what all those damn romantic comedies may have you believe, love doesn’t happen in a week.
In fact, it can take a LONG time for you to find someone to love. But just because it doesn’t happen the second you want it to doesn’t mean it will never happen. [Read: Falling in love fast and why you need to slow down]
3. You might be too picky
How high are your standards? Maybe you should forget about giving up on love and re-evaluate your standards for love. You could just be too picky and may need to be more open-minded about different types of people instead of falling for the exact same type again and again!
It’s also a good idea to avoid having a ‘type’ in the first place. By only dating specific types of people, e.g. blondes, brunettes, tall, short, rich, you’re missing out on a huge selection of other people who could be perfect for you.
4. You may not be emotionally mature enough to find love just yet
Everyone matures at a different rate. While some people may end up marrying their elementary school crush, you could be forced to wait until your 30s before really finding the person you’re meant to spend your life with.
Neither option is wrong, we all have different life experiences that shape our view of the world and our emotional maturity. Focus on your journey and don’t compare it to anyone else’s. [Read: 20 signs of emotional maturity and traits that reveal a mature mind]
5. You’re not dating the right kinds of people
You might think that you know what you want, but if you keep going for the same type of people and end up heartbroken or unsatisfied with each one, you could be dating the wrong type.
Do you always go for the brooding, dangerous type? Maybe try someone who seems a little kinder or less dangerous and see if that works out better for you before deciding you’re giving up on love.
6. No, you’re not unlovable
You might be a huge pain in the butt, but you’re not unlovable, even if you try to be. Get this thought out of your head immediately.
It’s easy to think this way if you’re not finding love, but it’s just not true. The more you pull yourself down, the less you’ll allow your light to shine. It’s a huge fact that to find love, you have to love yourself first. [Read: 34 life-changing steps to fall in love with yourself all over again]
7. There’s nothing wrong with being single for a while
In fact, being single is actually a REALLY good thing. Being single can steer you in the direction of love, even when you’re not looking for it.
It also frees up time for you to focus on building a life you adore and to help you work towards your goals. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be fun, too!]
8. Love is no easy feat
It’s hard work. If you just give up at the first sign of struggle, you’re not going to find love. You have to work hard every day in order to really have a successful relationship.
Many people think that finding love is the hardest part but that’s actually easier. Maintaining love over the long-term is the hardest part.
9. Trying too hard to find love will make it more difficult
If you’re giving up on love because you’re super sick of trying and failing, you could just be trying too hard. Before giving up, just stop looking. Be open to the idea of love, but don’t actively seek it.
Sometimes you give off that air of desperation when you’re looking, even if you don’t mean to. Just stop actively looking and you’ll probably find that many opportunities come your way. [Read: When will I find love? 20 secrets that will help you find the one]
10. By giving up on love, you may miss out on a great person
“Oh gee, I’m sorry, Mr. Good-Looking, but I’ve given up on love, so I’ll have to pass on that amazing-sounding date.” Doesn’t sound good, does it? That’s basically what you’ll end up doing if you decide you’re giving up on love.
If you swear off love and then end up meeting someone great, only to dismiss them because you have to stick with your ridiculous rule of giving up love, you could miss out on The One. Don’t make life hard for yourself!
11. You’ll regret not putting yourself out there when you’re older
You might be sitting there someday *even with a spouse* and regret the years you never went for it and dated around a while before settling down. So don’t give up – you might hate that you did in the future.
12. You may end up lonely
Humans need more than just friends and family in their lives. They need someone to be close with on an intimate level. You’ll be really lonely for a long time if you just give up on love altogether.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you NEED love in your life if you’re happy with casual relationships and hookups, but it does mean that you probably want it and you’ll feel sad and regretful if you stop yourself from having it. [Read: The thirst is real – The realities of being single for far too long!]
13. You’re not thinking clearly
Because honestly, no one in their right mind would give up on love unless they’re hurting and desire it. So therefore, you’re in your wrong mind.
Having a heartbreak or traumatic event like that may cause you to think about giving up on love. But don’t make such a rash decision when you’re so emotional. Give it some time.
14. You’ll eventually be really unhappy by giving up on love
Love may be hard and sad at times, but you’ll also be the happiest you’ve ever been when you’re in love. Giving up on it is just a recipe for unhappiness over the long-term.
15. You’ll miss out on learning more about yourself
To be honest, you can learn more about yourself from the people you’ve dated than on your own. Different people teach you different things about yourself. By giving up on love, you’re missing out on all that someone else could teach you.
16. You’ll have really funny stories to tell your friends/kids someday from your dating escapades
Sure, you might hate some of the people you date, and you may even wind up having some of the worst first dates in history. However, those are all reasons NOT to give up on love.
You’ll be glad to have stories to tell your kids someday about love. You’ll have more experience and will therefore be able to offer them more advice than if you were to give up. You’ll probably also have some very funny memories to pass on too!
17. You’re depriving someone of your awesomeness
There is someone out there who is just WAITING for you to walk by so they can ask you out. This person could be the one you end up spending your life with, but not if you give up on love and deny them. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your own life]
18. Are you REALLY willing to give up free back massages by giving up on love?
Because let’s face it, half of us are only in relationships for the perks, i.e. free back massages! If you give up on love, you’re giving up on someone to take care of you.
You’re giving up someone to bring you soup when you’re sick and hold your hand when your pet passes away, and is giving up really worth missing having that? Also, it’s a wonderful feeling to look after someone else and you won’t get that chance either.
18. Love is one of the greatest pleasures in the world
Giving up one of the greatest pleasures you’ll ever feel in your lifetime is just wrong. You shouldn’t just give up because you’re having a hard time. Pushing through and still being able to love will be completely worth it.
20. Don’t settle for anything less
This is one of the biggest reasons why many people feel like giving up on love! You date someone, you feel meh towards them, and yet continue to date someone who clearly isn’t a good fit for you – all because you don’t want to be alone.
What happens then? The relationship eventually falls apart and you tell yourself all over again that love sucks and you need to give up on it. But really, if you knew at the very beginning that this person wasn’t right for you, why stick around waiting for the inevitable misery to hit you?! [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]
Giving up on love because of bad experiences isn’t a good enough excuse
There are two main reasons that could cause someone to think about giving up on love.
Firstly, you’re just not finding the right person easily. And secondly, you had a bad experience and that’s caused you to become closed-off.
But if you’re just not finding the right person, you need to be more patient. Enjoy the experience of life and focus on yourself a little.
However, if it’s because you had a bad experience in a past experience, you need to deal with your baggage before you move on. Whatever happened in that past relationship doesn’t have to happen again.
The new person in your life isn’t your ex. Give everyone an equal chance and don’t tar them with the same brush. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that ruin your love life]
Some experiences are easier to get over than others but just give yourself some time. Don’t rush. As we mentioned earlier, there’s a lot to be gained from being single for a while. Then, when you’re ready, dip your toe back in the dating pool once more.
Your past doesn’t have to define your future and you will find happiness again. Don’t think about giving up on love because someone broke your heart in the past – don’t give them the satisfaction!
[Read: 19 clear signs you are ready for a serious relationship]
Giving up on love is the cowardly *and wrong* thing to do. There is so much more to be gained from continuing to beleive in love than there is in giving it all up.
The post Giving Up on Love: 20 Practical Reasons Why It’s Not The Right Answer is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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