Sexually Fluid: What It Means, How It Feels & How to Make Sense of It

Being sexually fluid isn’t something a lot of people know about, but it’s always been around. If you’re unaware, it’s time you immersed yourself.

Unless you live under a rock, you most probably know what LGBTQ+ stands for. This doesn’t just stand for gay rights, but the entire community as a whole. It’s also important to know that being sexually fluid is a part of this community. Since it’s still a sexuality, then it falls under the LGBTQ+.

While you may not choose to identify as any of the sexualities included under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you should still learn about them to give you a full overview.

Only then can you be open-minded and accepting of those around you. [Read: List of sexualities – 15 gender orientations you need to know about]

What does sexually fluid mean?

Sexually fluid means your sexuality changes over time.

For instance, you might be straight for the time being but be attracted to the same gender in a matter of months. When you’re sexually fluid, you accept this shift and change and don’t identify as any other particular sexuality on a permanent basis.

You’re not crazy for feeling this way, and no, you’re not confused or indecisive.

Being sexually fluid doesn’t represent your inability to stick to one sexual orientation. It’s just who you are – simple as that. [Read: 20 sexually enlightening movies all about sexuality]

Sexually fluid is not bisexual

Many people who don’t understand what sexually fluid means automatically assume they’re bisexual. While the concepts can be interchanged, this is why it’s important to immerse yourself in proper knowledge. Otherwise, you’ll get different sexualities confused just because they sound similar.

Bisexuality refers to being attracted to both genders constantly while being sexually fluid means you’re always changing sexual preferences. While some sexually fluid people may have originally thought they were bisexual, the truth is it’s much different.

For a sexually fluid person, their sexual orientation changes like your taste buds. You never thought you’d end up liking someone – until you do. There’s no telling which sexuality you’re going to become attracted to, which is why the word ‘fluid’ is included – it moves and changes.

Put simply, you’re flexible to be attracted to whichever gender you feel like. [Read: Pansexual confessions – What is it like to be one?]

Sexually fluid people in the dating world

As you can probably imagine, trying to date as a sexually fluid person can have its challenges. As we live in a world obsessed with labels, it’s not easy being part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Some people don’t seem to understand what this sexuality is, no matter how hard they try. In that case, it’s important to learn more about it. [Read: Being sex positive – Why this matters and why you need to get on board]

1. Their options are sky high

Sexually fluid people have such a big variety when it comes to people they can date. The possibilities are endless for them. They don’t limit themselves or put themselves in a box as that’s not who they are.

This allows them to be their most authentic selves without holding anything back, including gender barriers. Whether the person they like is queer or bisexual, they wouldn’t mind going on a date with either one. [Read: 10 ways to tell if you are a try-sexual]

2. But also very limited depending on their mood

Unlike your average sexuality, they won’t be attracted to the same gender for a prolonged period. Who they like varies depending on their mood, which can be both a good and bad thing.

Sometimes they’ll head out for a night to meet someone great and end up not meeting a single person they’re attracted to. They can’t control how they feel because just like the seasons change, this includes their preference. 

3. They can swear off a gender for a certain amount of time without a second thought

Just like straight individuals end up scarred for a significant period because of some jerk they dated, this goes for sexually fluid people as well.

If they’ve been hurt by a bisexual and got cheated on by them, there’s a pretty good chance they won’t date a person of that sexuality for some time. You might want to think twice before hurting a sexually fluid person you date! [Read: Heteroflexible – All you need to know about this rare sexuality]

4. They’ll have fun witnessing you try to figure out their sexuality

While this goes for all of the LGBTQ+ community, this is especially true for sexually fluid people. When you try to explain how the gender of your preference depends on your mood, the faces people make are priceless.

Sexually fluid people really get a kick out of witnessing someone else struggle over what their sexuality really is.

Whether it’s laughing at their silly assumptions or getting a kick out of your judgments, they have fun with it every time. Because really, if someone asks a sexually fluid person if they’re straight or gay, “yes,” is a perfectly acceptable answer.

That kind of amusement doesn’t come by in a lot of other sexualities. Everyone knows that a lesbian falls for just women, but how do you really figure out the sexuality of a sexually fluid person? [Read: Dating a bisexual: 12 things you should never say]

5. They can like certain genders depending on the situation

Some people have a higher preference for a certain gender when they’re at the beach than they do skiing. Just like their mood varies on their gender preference, this also goes for the situation.

It doesn’t come as a shock for them to be attracted to women in bikinis when they’re at the beach, for instance. 

6. It’s a tad bit lonely

As much as sexually fluid people have the freedom to date a lot of different people, they feel a bit lonely at times. If you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you feel lonely? Maybe not physically lonely, but emotionally lonely because they might find that it’s hard to be themselves.

They may also feel lonely when because of this, they can’t stick to one person for a significant period. While physical intimacy feels easy for them, emotional and mental intimacy might be more challenging. [Read: 9 ways to know for sure if you’re bi-curious]

7. They can run into problems when their new lover doesn’t understand

Dating someone who doesn’t understand or accept sexually fluid people can be heartbreaking. Everyone wants a person who not only accepts, but also understands every part of who you are.

It would be a complete nightmare to have a lover who makes you feel alone, even when you’re with them physically.

Sexually fluid people tend to have more issues around this in a relationship than other people because it’s just so hard to understand. Even if gay or bisexual people have their individual struggles, sexually fluid individuals have their own struggles too. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

8. It can be different for men and women who are sexually fluid

There seems to be a double standard when it comes to the differences between sexually fluid men and women. Ironic, isn’t it? Even a community that promotes gender equality can have double standards.

Men—on average—are sexually fluid JUST for sex. They don’t see themselves dating another man necessarily, but they entertain the idea of having sex with them.

Women, on the other hand, have a more personal connection with the women they date and are in it for more than just the sex—normally.

Although, this doesn’t come as a shock as even with average people, women often care more about emotional connections than men do. [Read: 18 empowering reasons to love being a lesbian]

9. Finding the right person can be difficult

Since it is so difficult for people to understand—let alone accept—sexually fluid people, it can be a lot harder for people with this sexuality to find someone they’re compatible with. They either date someone who won’t let them be themselves or someone who judges them for their sexuality.

They need someone who accepts them as they are and doesn’t try to control or change them. Dating is a nightmare of testing out each potential partner based on the premise that they’ll love and accept them for who they are. [Read: I feel lonely: 30 ways to overcome feelings of loneliness]

10. They can have the most fun with dating

Because they don’t have anything that’s stopping them from dating both genders, they get to have the most fun with it.

There aren’t a lot of rules and standards that apply, compared to everyone else. Every time they go to the bar, they never go home without someone – not unless they’re really not in the mood.

This is because they have so many different people they are potentially sexually attracted to. They get to experiment not just with different sexualities, but with different personalities as well.

They have so much fun with being who they are unapologetically without any gender barriers. This is one of the reminders they have of why they are who they are. [Read: 25 hilarious myths about sex most of us used to believe]

11. They can be sexually attracted to one gender more 

Being sexually fluid gives them the freedom to be attracted to different sets of genders. This could also mean that they’re strongly sexually attracted to one gender than other genders.

In the same sense, this could also mean their romantic feelings for one gender are stronger than other genders. Being sexually fluid is basically the representation that attraction is limitless. 

12. They can change sexuality overtime

Sexual orientation is a very personal thing, and nobody can dictate who they’re attracted to. This also means that even as a sexually fluid person, they can become someone who sticks to a specific orientation without intending to.

Attraction and sexuality are both complex aspects than what people choose to portray.

Just as they’re free to identify as sexually fluid, they’re also free to change sexualities whenever they see fit potentially.

So for sexually fluid individuals, if they no longer categorize themselves as such, they’re always free to change their sexualities as this is a real possibility. [Read: The main types of lesbians and why it’s important to tell them apart]

13. They resonate with sexual fluidity the most of their lives

Unlike changing sexualities, sexual fluidity is stable and concrete. You don’t go around changing who you’re attracted to based on your experiences and environment. You don’t identify with a specific orientation if you’re someone who’s sexually fluid. 

Now, do you understand sexual fluidity a little better?

Being sexually fluid isn’t about being confused or indecisive on which sexuality to stick with. Attraction is more complex than what meets the eye. It’s generally being attracted to whoever you prefer in that season without any gender biases.

It’s much more complex than being identified as bisexual or gay, despite being part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

But, by understanding this particular sexuality, you’ll be more accepting and empathetic with those around you.

[Read: Does liking a man mean I am gay? No, but these signs might]

With everything mentioned above, hopefully, you can better understand what it means to be sexually fluid. This doesn’t just go for their sexual preferences, but for who they are as a whole. 

The post Sexually Fluid: What It Means, How It Feels & How to Make Sense of It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.