Can’t figure out why someone can be nice one minute, and nasty the next? It could be the subtle symptoms of narcissism.
Narcissism is a personality disorder that impacts many people, from normal folks to celebrities to criminals. Because of this, there is a morbid fascination among the public about why narcissists act the way they do. This leads many people to be curious about the symptoms of narcissism.
Despite what we know about the symptoms of narcissism in a person, every single narcissist is different, just as any person is different. Narcissism can appear in one person a certain way, and appear totally different in someone else. [Read: A relationship with a narcissist and what it means to love one]
Some narcissists struggle with maintaining healthy relationships, as they are unable to care about anyone as much as they care about themselves. Other people with narcissistic personality disorder have no trouble maintaining successful relationships.
That being said, it is undoubtedly true that being in a relationship with a narcissist is often a recipe for disaster. Knowing the full spectrum of symptoms that a narcissistic person may present can help you spot a potential narcissist among the people you come in contact with in everyday life.
The classic symptoms of narcissism
Modern psychology has clustered narcissistic traits into the following key identifiers:
1. An unfounded sense of superiority and importance
A narcissist is often defined by their belief that they are special and better than other people. This is not well-earned pride or confidence, but a belief that they are inherently better than others.
Their tendency towards grandeur leads them to believe that they are unique, destined for greatness, and a cut above the rest of the world’s population. The narcissist will expect to be treated as superior by those around them, and will react negatively when they are not.
This false belief is the primary motivation for many of the other symptoms listed below.
[Read: Do you ever wonder what causes narcissism?]
2. Unrealistic entitlement
It is normal for people to daydream, have hopes for their future and believe that they are destined for great things. None of those activities or beliefs alone qualify as a symptom of narcissism.
Narcissists don’t believe they are destined for greatness, so much as they believe they have already achieved it!
If you have ever met someone who expects the world to treat them as if they are a gift to mankind without any kind of accomplishments to show it, they may be a narcissist.
Narcissists are pathologically self-entitled, and they expect people to give them what they want. A narcissist firmly believes that the rules do not apply to them, and they don’t need to work for anything by virtue of them being them.
3. Craving public attention, praise, or admiration
Another major symptom of narcissism is the intense craving for attention, praise, and admiration. A narcissist needs praise and admiration, they just can’t live without it. They build their behavior around getting attention and admiration.
The narcissist equates their greatness with the amount of praise they get from others. Without this, they will be visibly distressed and go to great lengths to feed their ego. [Read: 16 subtle hints narcissist give away as soon as you meet them]
4. Arrogance and constant self-praise
Narcissists will often take the initiative to sing their own praises and constantly remind all people around them how great they are. Their need for affirmation knows no bounds.
The narcissist will dominate conversations by talking about themselves and their accomplishments, and belittle those they see as lesser. This particular symptom of narcissism is unlikely to win them any friends, and serves as one reason why people around them consider them toxic. [Read: How do narcissists hook you and how you can learn to avoid their toxic bait]
5. Intense envy
A tent pole symptom of narcissism is out-of-control envy. The narcissist will be intensely jealous of others. Whether their “competition” is real or imaginary, the narcissist will react badly to anyone they feel challenges them. They will see anyone who could potentially take the attention and admiration away from them as a threat.
People who are more talented or achieved greater things than they have will fall victim to their envy. In addition, the narcissist will believe that people are as envious of them as they are of others. [Read: 13 signs you’re stuck with a narcissistic friend]
6. They dominate the conversation by talking about themselves
Narcissistic people want to be the center of attention, which is why they seek to dominate a conversation and keep the topic about themselves.
A normal conversation involves both speaking and listening. But talking to a narcissist is like turning on the radio, and the only channel is them bragging about themselves.
On top of this, narcissists hoard speaking time in a conversation. Once the narcissist starts talking, others will find themselves interrupted or dismissed. A symptom of narcissism is their belief that the only person with something worth saying is them. [Read: Conversational narcissist and the signs of someone who loves talking and hates listening]
7. Arrogance and demeaning or belittling others
As a result of their false belief in themselves, narcissists are known to be arrogant. While they may be charming at times, the narcissist never cares about anyone more than themselves. They will protect their self-image at all costs.
That means that narcissists often put down others, and come off as boastful, pretentious, and rude. The narcissist personality means they will react to people who achieve something significant with envy. And people who have not achieved as much as them will be belittled and bullied.
Other symptoms of narcissism to understand
Narcissism is a nuanced personality disorder, with many different symptoms. Aside from the classic symptoms, there are also other symptoms of narcissism that are more subtle.
8. They love power, or the illusion of power
For narcissists, accolades, awards, titles, citations, and distinguished positions are a solid form of praise and admiration. They also crave positions of power to exercise their sense of entitlement.
One of the symptoms of narcissism is a preoccupation with fantasies of power, beauty, and the proving of their superiority. The narcissist is drawn to positions of power, whether real or imaginary. [Read: What types of narcissism should you be on the lookout for?]
9. They can be quiet and reserved too
The classic narcissist stereotype is the loud and brash character who steals the scene with their attention-seeking behavior. While it fits many, not all narcissists fall into this type. Some narcissists can be quiet and reserved, because they believe themselves to be so superior that others are not worthy to have a conversation with them.
Anti-social narcissists are quite common, as their belief in themselves being special leads them to avoid building relationships with people they deem “lesser.”
Quiet narcissists typically get their attention in some other form to compensate for less verbal interaction with people. [Read: What is vulnerable narcissism and what makes it so dangerous]
10. They cannot see themselves in a negative light
A symptom of narcissism is an inability to view oneself negatively. This would lead most to think narcissists always see themselves as a hero of their own story. They do… but if the situation calls for them to take accountability for their actions, they will always paint themselves as the victim of the actions of others.
Narcissists will never portray their image in a negative light, and will protect their own self-image at all costs. This often means doing mental backflips to avoid taking blame, and never admitting to fault.
11. They may obsess over their physical appearance
Not everyone who likes to look good is a narcissist. That being said, many narcissists consider their personal appearance the first step to getting the attention and admiration that they crave. Therefore, an obsession with physical appearance can be a symptom of narcissism.
For these narcissists, a lot of effort is spent to make sure that they are physically attractive to others. They take care of their physique, have a distinct taste for fashion and style, and they painstakingly consider every small detail in their appearance.
That being said, there are plenty of narcissists who are objectively unattractive and do not strive for physical beauty. These narcissists believe they deserve praise and admiration for some other aspect of themselves, such as their intellect or personality.
They may hold others *such as potential partners* to a standard of physical perfection that they themselves do not have, and consider themselves superior for “seeing beyond physical beauty.”
12. They fixate on their social media image
What is social media if not a feeding ground for the narcissists of the world? With the ability to get massive amounts of praise and attention without leaving your home, social media is the perfect place for a narcissist.
If they are obsessed with their social media image as much as their personal image in real social interactions, and react strongly to attention from social media, it could be a symptom of narcissism. [Read: Instagram envy and how to keep yourself calm when you’re green with envy]
13. They struggle with objectivity
Narcissists are completely incapable of seeing outside of themselves and because of this, they are unable to see situations objectively.
If something good happens, it’s because of their influence and efforts. But when it comes to taking responsibility for something bad happening, they never apologize let alone admit that it’s their fault. Blame will be cast on the people around them and never on themselves. [Read: 34 signs of covert narcissists and how to instantly recognize the dirty games they play]
14. Narcissists do not think they are narcissists
If you have ever wondered if you are a narcissist, you are probably not. That is because narcissistic traits are ego-syntonic, which means they exist to enforce the narcissist’s ideas about themselves. Namely, that they are special, superior to other people, and deserving of special treatment.
Narcissists do not reflect on their behavior. To them, everything is as it should be and their beliefs are totally normal. This makes narcissistic people difficult to convince to seek help since they think what they feel is totally valid. [Read: Do narcissists know they are narcissists or do they just lie to themselves?]
15. They lack empathy
This is the most brutal part of trying to maintain a relationship with a narcissist. By nature, the narcissist cannot love anyone more than their idea of self, and will attack anyone who threatens that. An inability to empathize is a significant symptom of narcissism.
Because they are so self-focused, the narcissist is unable, or unwilling, to acknowledge the emotional needs of others. This can cause self-sabotage in their relationships because of their inability to see a perspective aside from their own.
With their sense of self-importance, they will never see anything wrong with what they’re doing, even if others will point it out to them. [Read: How to stop feeding into the narcissistic supply]
16. Narcissists are comfortable exploiting others
Because of their belief that they are inherently special and better than other people, narcissists have no problem manipulating others to get what they want.
Whether that be cheating on romantic relationships for an ego boost, or lying about accomplishments for praise and validation, the narcissist will twist the truth to make sure they come out on top.
They believe that the rules do not apply to them, so they would not have a guilty conscience stepping on others to get what they want. For the narcissist, the means always justify the ends— which is whatever best serves them. [Read: Why people fall for narcissists and the secrets that make them so addictive]
17. They are easily slighted and respond with rage
The narcissist’s ego is big, but it is also fragile. A symptom of narcissism is over-the-top reactions to perceived slights. The narcissist is easily slighted, and will react badly if they feel someone is not giving them the special treatment or praise they feel they deserve.
The narcissists’ firm belief that they deserve one-sided loyalty from everyone around them can lead to many different interpersonal problems. They may become infuriated by someone not giving them special treatment and try to belittle the person who slighted them to make themselves feel superior.
[Read: How to beat a narcissist and win over their manipulation]
Realistically, a narcissist may take the form of a friend, a significant other, a co-worker, or even a family member. And that’s why it’s important that you should know the symptoms of narcissism before you get sucked into their game.
The post 17 Symptoms of Narcissism that Make Someone Mean, Aloof & Detached is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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