41 Signs She Wants You to Chase Her & Must-Knows to Pursue a Woman

You really like her, but you need to know how to pursue a woman and do it right. If you don’t know how to make the next move, here’s what you need to know.

Most women are familiar with men pursuing them. Whether at a coffee shop, bar, or dog park, if a man is interested in someone, he needs to know how to pursue a woman.

It takes a lot of courage to go up to someone you don’t know and start a conversation. It’s not an easy move to make. But just because you approach a woman you’re interested in doesn’t mean you’ll get the answer you’re looking for. You have to know how to pursue a woman the right way.

There’s an old joke that rocket science is way easier than trying to figure out what goes on inside a woman’s head. And if you have any experience in dating, chances are that you will definitely agree. Especially when it comes to the signs she wants you to chase her.

In the dating game, men have to make the first move. And if you do, you are faced with two outcomes: come on too strong and she’ll think you’re a creep and run for the hills, come on too gently and she’ll say you lacked effort.

To this, menfolk say, “Make up your mind, ladies!” [Read: Does she like me? 32 subtle signs she sees you as more than a friend]

Do women really want to be chased? 

The easy answer is yes. But to be specific, women want to be chased by a guy that catches their interest.

Women are more likely to get lovers chasing after them than men. As a result, they can afford to wait until they find the right one. Making a guy wait can be a way for them to test his commitment. In short, a woman wants you to chase her, to get to know if you’re a keeper. 

She will test you to see if you’re worth dating in the end. Women won’t directly tell you that they like you, but they will put out subtle cues to keep you hooked on them. [Read: Should you ask her out? 47 subtle clues a girl gives away if she wants you to make a move]

Why pursuing a woman is critical

Sure, it’s easier to just sit back and let the women come to you. At least you wouldn’t have to put in any effort, right? But that doesn’t always happen. Nor should it.

Not to sound old-fashioned, but most women do still want a man to pursue them instead of the other way around. This is for a variety of reasons. 

1. It is the way nature intended it be

Not to sound archaic, but human beings’ brains aren’t really that different than they were in the caveman days. The males pursued the females because they wanted to beat out other males.

You still see this in the animal kingdom too. And humans are animals, so you get the drift. [Read: How to be dominant – 20 calm and firm ways to be the real alpha]

2. It makes her feel special

Who doesn’t want to feel special? Most people do, but especially women! They want to feel attractive and wanted. If given their way, they want you to treat them like a princess. So, when you pursue her, it makes her think that you think she is unique and worthy.

3. It makes you look confident

If you don’t pursue a woman and instead wait until she comes to you, then that makes you look like you have low self-esteem.

It makes you look like you don’t think very much of yourself if you are too shy to put yourself out there. That is not a very attractive quality in a man.

4. She wants a real man

Traditional men are the dominant ones in society and in a relationship. She doesn’t really want to take the dominant role – that’s not to say that she wants to be submissive either. [Read: What is masculinity? 19 really manly traits women hope to see in you]

But she just wants a real man to take the lead. Most women are independent these days, so it’s nice when she doesn’t have to take control of everything.

When to pursue or chase a girl

You might be wondering when you should pursue a girl. Are there any signs? Yes, there can be. But the most important thing to remember is that you should only pursue her if you like her. 

This might sound obvious, but there are a lot of guys who pursue a girl just for the fun of it with no intention of following through once they “catch” her. [Read: What makes someone a player? The 21 sly signs of a player’s mind]

That’s not fair to a woman. Only pursue her if you want to date her and see if there is potential for a relationship. If that is not your intention, at least let her know that it’s not. In other words, just be honest when you pursue a girl.

The biggest signs she wants you to chase her 

For this reason, it is crucial men pay attention to the subtle cues women give that tell you when to stop chasing them, or when to go forth and continue to shower them with affection.

1. She’s hot and cold at the same time

Most guys will be familiar with when a girl blows hot and cold at the same time. It is that semi-annoying thing they do where they act all friendly and flirty at one time of the day. Then when you reciprocate the same affection, they suddenly act cold and avoid you.

When this happens, just go for it. She means no harm, and she merely wants you to chase after her. [Read: What you need to do when a girl plays hard to get]

2. She replies quickly to your messages

When a girl replies quickly to your messages at any point of the day, it is an obvious sign that she’s looking forward to hearing from you. It means she likes you and wants you to keep reaching out to her.

3. She readily says yes to invitations

When a girl wants you to get off her back, she quickly dismisses any coffee or dinner invitations. She’ll probably say her schedule is full. However, if a girl likes you and she wants you to keep pursuing her, she’ll find a way to accept your invitation even if it means canceling previous plans.

4. She pays careful attention to how she looks when you’re together

You’ll notice this if she dresses more plainly when she’s alone, compared to days when she’s expecting to meet you. [Read: How to ask a girl if she likes you *without really asking*]

This doesn’t mean that she’ll dress to the nines on a date, but the difference is noticeable. Obviously, she dresses up because she wants your attention.

5. She makes meaningful conversation when you are alone

Girls who want to be pursued give you a little peek into their personal life through meaningful conversations – not just about superficial things like what’s new on Netflix or random work gossip.

She wants to pique your curiosity by showing you a little of the behind-the-scenes side of her. This is a big sign that a woman puts out if she wants you to pursue her. [Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that will make you irresistible to women]

6. She teases you

Teasing means a lot of things and is interpreted in a lot of ways. But if you find her teasing you a little bit, it means she’s comfortable around you and has warmed up to your company past the stiff “formal” introduction stage. 

This is considered the next step and is a cue for you to keep moving forward. [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back with you]

7. She reaches out to you incessantly if you stop communicating with her

There are times that the chase gets a bit too tiring and you decide to stop for a while. Lo and behold, a role reversal happens, and she starts initiating communication with you.

What is this sorcery? Well, it’s an obvious sign she’s worried you’ve given up. A subtle hint that she wants you to keep up with the chase.

8. She acts mysterious sometimes

Either by giving you vague responses when confronting her about the possibility of dating, or acting more closed when you find yourself alone with her. [Read: 34 subtle ways to get out of the friend zone and make yourself VERY desirable]

Acting mysterious is a tactic girls use to see if you are persistent enough to dig deeper into their lives. Also, it adds romance to the whole courting affair.

9. She avoids the big question

At some point, you will arrive at a situation where you want to ask her whether you’re ready to be an item after your courtship.

When you do, she tries to avoid the topic or veers off in another direction. It’s not that she doesn’t want to – and eventually, she may say yes – but girls really love to take more time and dangle the carrot a little bit longer. So, have patience. [Read: The clear signs you should back off when pursuing a girl]

10. She doesn’t interact with you much, but she says that she misses you

This is quite mind-boggling. You notice this when she turns down invites, but then she tells you that she misses you. 

If she truly misses you she’ll hang out with you more often. This obvious sign shows that she wants you to keep pursuing her.

11. She asks you if you missed her

She asks this teasingly most of the time. The best way to respond is to say yes and invite her out for a date. That leaves her cornered with little choice but to say yes. [Read: How to know if a girl likes you: 12 signs that won’t let you down]

12. She plays hard to get

Men have a love-hate relationship with girls playing hard to get. It can be confounding as what she says doesn’t correlate to what she does. 

She might say that she’s not interested, but her flirting and touchiness says otherwise. When a girl plays hard to get, it obviously means she wants you to chase her.

13. She tells her friends about you

Women tell their friends everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, if she’s talking about you to her friends and you know it, then that’s a good sign.

She likes you, or else she wouldn’t be talking about you. She’d be talking about someone else. [Read: What girls find attractive – 49 traits that make a guy irresistible to women]

14. She finds a way to be close by

If every time you look up, there she is, then she’s doing that on purpose. She wants to be around you as much as she can and make herself available to you. So, she might even make up excuses to see you and have chances to talk to you. 

15. She isn’t comfortable with you being too close to other women

If you work with her or go to school together, watch how she responds when you talk to other women. Does she become more silent and distant? Or maybe she acts jealous and annoyed? If she does any of these, then she doesn’t like the fact that you aren’t only paying attention to her.

16. She makes you aware of her plans

If the weekend is coming up and she casually asks you what your plans are, then she is hinting around.

Better yet, if she tells you her plans – or that she doesn’t have any – that’s her indirect way of telling you she’s free to go out on a date. All you have to do is step up your game and ask her out. [Read: How to read a girl and recognize the subtle hints she might be dropping your way]

How to pursue a woman in a way that works

In this article, you’ll learn how to pursue a woman. But remember that all women are different, and just because you follow these steps, it may not work. And to be honest, it may take more time than you initially expected.

Every woman is different, and attraction doesn’t necessarily happen right away. Then again, it may not happen at all. But women aren’t always as complicated as you think! So, what are the tips for how to pursue a woman you’re attracted to?

1. What do you want? 

Here’s the thing, think about what you’re looking for. Of course, that can always change. For example, you may be really into a girl, but then you realize you don’t want anything serious with her. [Read: Casual dating vs serious dating – What’s your dating speed for now?]

It happens. But for yourself, it’s important to think about what you want out of your life and the type of person you’d like as a partner.

2. It starts with you

The men that women tend to be attracted to are the ones who don’t look like they’re needing to be with a woman. Why? Because their happiness isn’t defined by a relationship. 

A man who is secure in himself is one who understands that his happiness comes from within. And those men are the sexiest ones. [Read: 18 qualities of a good man that make him better than lesser men]

3. Pursue her to enhance your life, not to give you a life

Many people – men and women – will search for a partner to complete their lives. This is just wrong. You shouldn’t pursue a woman because you think she’s going to give you a better life. You should pursue her because you feel she can enhance your happiness.

4. Be genuine

Women can tell when a man is genuine or not. Trying to impress her by name-dropping isn’t going to work, at least not in the long run. Don’t pretend to be mysterious or play games. 

Playing games can work in the beginning, but then it gets boring. Whatever it is that you’re looking for, be yourself. [Read: How to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her]

5. Be respectful

Listen, the woman you’re pursuing is not an object. She is a person, and she deserves respect. Don’t touch her without permission or push anything on her. 

Let’s say she was rude to you when you approached her. You could act mean out of anger, but it’s not going to get you anywhere. Be respectful and walk away.

6. Be a man

We don’t mean this in the “work out and get a six-pack” sense. What we mean is be real with her. If you’re looking for casual sex, let her know. 

She deserves to know what she’s getting involved in by dating you. As we said, a woman isn’t an object, and she has the right to decide what she wants. [Read: What does it mean to be a man? A definition of true masculinity]

7. Talk to her

But really talk. Some men look like they’ve memorized a script, and honestly, that kind of conversation doesn’t last long.

If you want to gain her interest, start a conversation with her, and not necessarily one that’s sexual. You don’t need to attract a woman by starting off with a sexual topic.

8. Engage in eye contact

If you pursue a woman, you won’t get far if you’re constantly looking at your phone. Put down your phone and look her in the eye. 

Eye contact is something we often overlook, yet it’s an extremely important part of non-verbal communication. [Read: 21 atypical secrets you need to know if you want to impress a girl]

9. Give a genuine compliment

Now, you don’t need to vomit compliments at her. But if there’s something you genuinely want to compliment her on, then do it. 

The worst thing you can do is make something up. We’re women; we can smell a fake compliment from a mile away.

10. Make your intentions clear

If you want her to know you’re interested in her, make it clear. Ask her for her number so you can take her out on a date, or tell her you like her. [Read: How to talk to a girl and impress her in the very first conversation]

She should see that you’re interested in more than a friendship. Once you do that, she’ll decide if it’s right for her or not.

11. Know when to stop

If you’re texting her on Whatsapp or sending her Facebook messages and she’s not replying, take it as a hint. If she often cancels your date, take that as a hint too. 

Know when to stop pursuing a woman who isn’t interested in you. You cannot make someone attracted to you, no matter how hard you try. [Read: How to get over a girl who doesn’t like you back]

12. Don’t forget about yourself

Sometimes guys get a little carried away and jump through hoops to gain the attention of a certain woman. At some point, set boundaries for yourself and decide when enough is enough. Never forget about yourself while pursuing a woman.

13. Learn when to take “no” for an answer

Women don’t like hurting people’s feelings. So, she might be hinting around that she’s not interested in you. Sure, you don’t want to believe it, so you might keep pursuing her just in case she changes her mind. But after a while, you just need to learn to take no for an answer. 

When to stop pursuing a woman

You might be competitive, or kind of man who doesn’t give up easily. Well, in life, that’s a good quality. But in love, maybe it can get you into trouble. [Read: Should I give up on her or keep trying? 20 signs to stop chasing her]

There are times when you should stop pursuing a woman, so let’s take a look at some of them.

1. She doesn’t reply to your texts or calls promptly

Any girl who is interested in a guy can’t wait to hear from him. So, if she’s not replying to your texts in a timely manner or returning your calls, then she isn’t interested. She’s probably too nice to tell you that, so she’s trying to send you a message this way.

2. She doesn’t reply to you at all

This is even worse than taking a long time to reply to you when you contact her. If she just doesn’t reply at all, she’s definitely telling you indirectly that she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.

So, why would you want to talk to her? This is the biggest sign that you should stop pursuing this woman. [Read: 26 Ways to text a girl who stopped responding and win her interest]

3. She never initiates contact

Sure, this might be part of the playing hard-to-get strategy, but it can only go on for so long.

If you are the only one who initiates talking, then that means you are not on her mind. She has other people who she is talking to and who are a higher priority than you.

4. Her replies are short

Even if she replies in a timely manner, if her replies are dry, short and uninteresting, it’s because she’s not interested.

If all you get is “okay” or “cool” or other short messages, that is very low interest. If she really liked you, she would put in a lot more effort into creating meaningful texts to keep you engaged.

5. Her body language is uninterested

Research shows that 80-90% of human communication is in someone’s body language. That’s why we have the saying, “actions speak louder than words.” [Read: Body language of a girl – 37 signs to instantly tell if she likes you]

So, if her words are telling you that she is interested in you, but she leans back and avoids any physical touch, then she isn’t interested – and you should stop pursuing her.

6. She calls you a “friend”

You probably already know that being called a “friend” by a woman is a bad sign. Whether she says it unconsciously or on purpose, either way, it’s bad. If she does it without thinking, then she only sees you as a friend. If she does it purposely, then she wants to send you a message that you are being friend-zoned.

7. She talks about her ex a lot

Whether she broke up with her ex recently or it was years ago, the fact that she talks about him means she could still be hung up on him. Even if she’s not, she’s probably comparing you to him… perhaps not in a good way.

So, if she can’t stop talking about her ex, it’s time to move on. [Read: Is a girl playing mind games? 20 signs she is and ways to deal with it]

8. She tells you she’s not ready for a relationship

Okay, maybe she really isn’t ready for a relationship. Perhaps she just got divorced or left a serious relationship. But sometimes women use this as a line to let you down easily and not hurt your ego. Instead of telling a man that she doesn’t like him, she tells this little white lie.

How long should a man pursue a woman? 

There is no clear-cut time to stop pursuing a woman. On one hand, if you get her and you both want to start dating, then your pursuit can slow down, but not stop. You might think it can stop there, but women need to have a man continually show them that he thinks she’s special. [Read: Do you lose yourself to impress them when you like someone?]

So, in a sense, you should never really stop pursuing her even if you’ve been married for 50 years. This is what keeps a relationship or a marriage special.

On the other hand, if you have been pursuing a woman for weeks, months, or even years and haven’t gotten anywhere with her, then it’s definitely time to stop. She might just like the attention from you and has no real interest. 

You need to read the signs of when she’s not interested. Once you see enough of them, then it’s time to cut your losses and just move on to someone else who is really interested in dating you.

[Read: How to play hard to get with a girl – and do it just right]

Learning how to pursue a woman takes time and plenty of practice. However, once you become more comfortable and confident within yourself, pursuing a woman will come with much more ease.

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