If you’re dating a sociopath, it’s in your best interests to leave ASAP. This is someone who has no regard for the feelings of others – including yours.
We often define a sociopath as someone lurking outside, ready to pounce. We assume a sociopath is an anomaly and not someone we could ever know in real life, right? And worst of all, most of us would never assume that we might be dating a sociopath without even realizing it.
The truth is, a sociopath is not always so ominous. In fact, some sociopaths we deal with on a daily basis function out in society. They hold a job and show no signs of the lacking social skills lurking behind their exterior.
A sociopath does not wear a badge proclaiming BEWARE, nor do they all behave in a manner making you run in terror. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize love that hurts you]
What is a sociopath?
The true meaning of a sociopath is someone who lacks a conscience. But it takes more than just a lack of conscience to be a true sociopath. These individuals manipulate, use, and discard people as if they are nothing more than a means to an end.
‘Sociopath’ is not just a phrase to throw around because they are someone with an official diagnosis. They possess a personality disorder characterized by an anti-social pattern of behaviors lacking regard for the feelings of others.
Seemingly unaware of how their actions disrupt, hurt, or affect the lives of those they touch. Their primary focus zeros in on what they want and how to get it.
Now, if you think any guy or girl who disregards the way you feel, uses you to get what they want or basically could care less about what they do is a sociopath, that is simply not the case.
Sure, they are assholes, but a sociopath takes things to a new level and leaves anyone who loves them *or thinks they love them* wishing they never laid eyes on them. [Read: 16 signs of an abusive relationship you don’t know]
Are you dating a sociopath? The signs you probably are!
As hard as it may seem to recognize a sociopath, all it takes is a good look from a new perspective. Take a look at these signs you’re dating a sociopath and ask yourself if you see any in your partner.
1. They have an oversized ego
The sociopath thinks more of themselves than anyone should. Having an inflated ego is an understatement. The only one who exists in a sociopath’s world is them.
Not only does the sun rise and set for them, but they do no wrong. If something doesn’t go as planned, it is never the sociopath’s fault. Instead, there is a long list of characters at fault for their misdeeds. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
After all, they are perfect.
2. They have no empathy
A sociopath feels nothing. Well, nothing beyond their own interests, that is. When the worst thing in the world happens to you, it isn’t their problem.
They only care about themselves. If it doesn’t affect them, it makes no difference in their world. The ability to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes remains foreign to them. It doesn’t even make sense. [Read: Big reasons why empathy is so important in a relationship]
3. They never get riled up
A sociopath does not have the ability to overreact or even react to anything. If something makes your blood turn cold, sends you into a state of overwhelm, or something you just can’t seem to handle, you may find that they treat it like it is no big deal.
They are seemingly unfazed; this character flaw can’t be fixed.
4. They prefer to go solo
When dating, it is not unusual for your date to give up time in their schedule for you. However, if they give up nothing because there was nothing to give up, that is a red flag. A sociopath doesn’t ever form close relationships or bonds.
Think about it. By the time you meet someone and are seriously dating them, shouldn’t they at least have a friend or two to introduce you to? If they don’t, you should really think hard about that. [Read: Valid reasons to break up with someone]
5. They will charm the pants off the waitress but aren’t interested in doing anything for you
Sociopaths need constant attention. Okay, who doesn’t? The difference, they need it from total strangers. How many people work for the adoration of someone they likely never see or meet again? A sociopath does.
If you notice your significant other spends the entire evening schmoozing someone they barely know but can’t be bothered when you wave a flag trying to do anything to get their attention, that’s something you need to think about. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship]
6. They’re guided by pleasure
If you are with someone who does anything, and we mean anything, for pleasure, watch out. Sure, we all want to feel good, but there are steps and things in the way of pleasure. For the sociopath, nothing stands in the way between them and their ultimate goal… feeling good.
If the only time they pay attention to you and stick around you is when you satisfy their needs or make them feel good, watch out! You are probably engaging with a sociopath.
7. Rules are for everyone else
We all know the person for whom rules don’t apply. At some point during adulthood, a spoiled brat learns the rules everyone needs to follow to be a part of society. A sociopath never learns that lesson.
If you notice that they live by one set of rules and another for the rest of us living on earth, you may be dealing with a sociopath. [Read: Avoid them like the plague: 16 types of guys not to date]
8. Crazy eyes
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone, and something behind their eyes switches? Watch out for this one. Within every person lies the crazy eyes, but if you date someone who doesn’t need much to make their eyes disconnect with what is going on in the situation, then it may be the case that you are dating a sociopath.
The eyes are undoubtedly the window to the soul. If something in them changes with a fervor or frequency you don’t understand, their brains guide this telling sign. [Read: 25 signs of covert narcissism – A special kind of mind game]
9. They guilt trip you
Guilt-tripping is one of the sociopath’s favorite things. They’re masters of manipulation, and that’s exactly what guilt tripping is. They’ll make you feel so bad for something you apparently did that you’ll throw all of your attention on them to try and right the issue.
The likelihood is that you did nothing wrong in the first place and that you have nothing to feel guilty about, either.
10. The relationship moves quickly
Are they talking about weddings on the third date? This is classic sociopath behavior. They’re love-bombing you and charming you to keep you where you are.
The problem is it works very effectively. Rushing relationships to the point where the other person is totally hooked is exactly how a sociopath finds people to manipulate and play around with. [Read: Love bombing – what it is, how it works, and 21 signs you’re being manipulated]
11. They don’t have many (or any) close relationships
Are they close to their family? What about friends? Do they have a list of exes as long as your arm?
Sociopaths don’t form connections with other people in the same way as everyone else, which means they lack close relationships that are based on honest and pure intentions.
12. They don’t seem to know what makes you upset and why
If you’re upset about something, your sociopathic lover will have zero understanding of why. They’ll probably tell you to get over yourself and show no sympathy.
This is because they lack empathy, so they’re not going to be able to look at a situation and understand why something will upset you. [Read: 24 signs of people who lack empathy to know they don’t care what you think]
13. They may have a criminal past they have zero regrets for
It’s possible that a sociopath has a criminal past, and it’s also likely that they don’t have any regret about it or feel sorry for what they did.
Sociopaths push the boundaries because they don’t believe those rules are for them. As such, they do things that everyone else wouldn’t even dream of.
14. When you corner them, they talk nonsense
When a sociopath is confronted with their behavior, and they feel threatened, they’re likely to resort to what is known as a ‘word salad.’ This basically means they talk at you, not to you, and what they’re saying makes zero sense.
It ties you up in knots and is designed to shut you up, so you don’t push the conversation any further. [Read: Signs a narcissist is playing mind games with you and gaslighting you]
The impact of dating a sociopath
Dating a sociopath isn’t fun, and it can be very damaging to your mental health. Over the long term, being subjected to such emotional abuse can be extremely dangerous, and for that reason, it’s important to recognize the signs and get out of there.
Some of the most common issues reported after dating a sociopath are:
1. Lowered self-esteem
2. Trauma
3. Developing a mental illness
4. Gaslighting – Basically, you won’t know which way is up or down and will question your own sanity. [Read: Emotional abuse – What it is and 39 signs this relationship is breaking you]
How to get over dating a sociopath
Dating a sociopath can leave you feeling scarred, and it’s very likely that you’re going to need a little help and support to heal. The most important thing is that you walk away and then turn your attention to yourself.
You’ve been through a hard time, and all of that means you need to be a little selfish for a while—there’s nothing wrong with that in this type of situation.
1. Don’t rush
You need to give yourself some time to heal and overcome what you’ve been through. You’re not going to click your fingers and feel better, even after you’ve left the person you were in love with.
Take your time, and don’t rush the process. [Read: 15 early signs of an abusive relationship that reveal a dark side]
2. Forgive yourself
This doesn’t mean you have anything to feel bad about, but you will probably be beating yourself up for allowing yourself to be manipulated. Remember that none of this was your fault, and forgive yourself for any lingering doubts you’re having.
3. Write a journal
Writing down your feelings is a great form of therapy and can be very cathartic. You don’t have to show anyone what you write, but it’s a very useful way to get your emotions out so you can start dealing with them.
4. Seek help from your loved ones
Surround yourself with understanding family members and friends and soak up the love and support they’re giving you. It’s okay to rely on others for a little while.
5. Reach out for professional help
If you feel that you may benefit from therapy, reach out and get the help you need. There is no shame in this; in fact, it’s the strongest thing you can possibly do. [Read: Am I in an abusive relationship?]
6. Cut off all contact
It goes without saying that you should cut all contact with your ex and don’t give in to any temptation. Block everything you can. They will certainly try to reach out and manipulate you to go back because that’s what they do.
7. Focus on your life
Once you start to feel a little stronger, throw yourself into your life and do the things you’ve always wanted to do. This will build up your self-confidence and have you buzzing again in no time.
But don’t force yourself to date right now; you need to give that a little longer. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]
Can dating a sociopath ever work?
A sociopath will make your relationship toxic, make you feel second best, and manipulate you to a huge degree. Dating a sociopath is hard work, and in the end, most people realize that it’s not worth it.
You deserve to be with someone who can give you the love and affection you deserve, and this person can’t do that.
Can these types of relationships work? Only if the sociopath realizes they need to get help and commits to a long process of psychotherapy. Is that likely to happen? Not at all.
[Read: The dangers of relationship uncertainty and how to move on]
If you fall in love with someone who seems incapable of loving you back, there are millions of people in the world, and someone out there will love you as you deserve. It’s just not worth dating a sociopath, and if you do find these signs in your partner, run the other way!
The post Am I Dating a Sociopath? 26 Warning Signs, Effects & Ways to Get Over It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
0 comments:
Post a Comment