Why Cold Approach Isn't for Social Beginners

Cold approaching women you don’t know is hard. If you lack the required social skills and mentality to make it work, you’ll burn out of it quick.

On the forum, we have a thread where a member posted to ask “what happens to guys who just don’t get results with women?”

At first I thought he was one of those guys with thousands of approaches under his belt who was struggling to even get dates or lovers at all. We see guys like that sometimes. Usually they have some kind of social handicap, such as being somewhere on the autism spectrum.

But it turned out this member had a different problem: he’d made very, very few approaches to women. He said he’d only chatted up somewhere between “20-30 lifetime approaches”, and that after “getting blown out all day” he ended up “coming home in tears.” He hasn’t made a cold approach in three years.

If you’re new to cold approach world, 20-30 approaches is nothing. Every major contributor to Girls Chase has thousands of approaches under his belt… many of us have somewhere between 5,000 to 15,000 approaches. Alek Rolstad is famous for talking about getting to a 5-to-1 meet-to-lay ratio (i.e., sleeping with 1 out of every 5 girls you approach) under certain conditions. But that is only once you’re advanced, and only under proper conditions (i.e., high momentum).

Every guy goes through much worse ratios than that when starting out: 30-to-1, 50-to-1, 100-to-1, 200-to-1 or even worse… it depends where you’re starting out at and what’s already good vs. what needs patching up.

This forum member’s experiences took me back to my start in cold approach… one in many ways similar to his. And I think it’s worth making the point that if you’re a pure social beginner, cold approach is probably not where you should be starting out.