Girls' Signs of Interest: Why Can't Most Men See Them?

Most guys have ‘signal blindness’ to many of the signs women send. Why is this… and what can they do to start seeing women’s signals and signs of interest?

When I first started coaching men on meeting women, I discovered I had an unusual power nearly none of the men I coached possessed:

I was able to recognize girls’ signs of interest.

Like anyone new at anything, I at first worried about being a bad coach not worth the money students were paying me. However, I soon discovered that simply by directing men to interested women and giving them a few basic things to do, I’d amaze my students.

My more intermediate students could see some of these signs, although often not until I pointed them out. If I told a student like this he’d missed an escalation window with a girl (i.e., a chance to move things forward with her), then pointed out the signs she’d shown that indicated that, he’d nod his head and realize it: “Oh yeah, I did notice her doing that. So that’s why she did that!”

He’d noticed the signs, which means some part of him had learned to pay attention for them… but he hadn’t progressed to acting on them. He hadn’t learned to pounce on such signs.

The guys who were new, on the other hand, were oblivious. They had no idea which girls liked them, or that any did. They could not tell a wildly interested girl from a disinterested one. If you got them into a conversation with a girl opening escalation windows left and right, they’d just keep talking normally. When you asked them why they didn’t take advantage of all the openings the girl was giving them, they’d say, “Huh? I thought she was just talking normally!”

I have sat in on guys’ conversations and dates, helped the guy to pull the girl to another venue, or even to pull her home, all while the guy had no idea the girl was open to doing any of that with him. When we talk later the guy is astounded the girl went that far with him and wants to know how I knew she would.

How I knew she would is simple: girls are constantly signaling their interest levels and openness, and I can see these things… but apparently, surprisingly to me at first, most men cannot.