If you’ve been single for a while now, you might be tired of it. But don’t start thinking that you’ll be single forever—instead, embrace the single life!
You’re tired of being single—we hear you loud and clear! If you’ve been single for a while, it’s not always because you haven’t found the right person yet or because of bad timing. Sometimes, we’re to blame for our own problems.
Do you really think that if you stopped making an effort in your appearance, turned down dates, and were negative all of the time, your soul mate would magically appear in your life? If you believe that, you are in for a rude awakening. While relationships aren’t always in our control, it’s still up to us whether we choose to get ourselves out there.
So if you’re tired of being single, remember that you attract who you are. Everything, from getting a promotion at work to finding a life partner, takes effort. You’re not going to meet anyone if you’re binging on Netflix every weekend.
Changing your attitude and behavior is the only way you’ll stop being single and get some action in your dating life! Here’s how you can do that. [Read: 42 secrets to be happy being single and alone and lessons it can teach you]
Why have you been single for so long?
Okay, it’s not always bad to be single, especially if you just got out of a bad breakup or are not ready. However, there comes a point when you’re just making excuses to feel better about yourself.
Come to think of it, there are so many ways to date nowadays, whether it’s through dating apps, social media, or simply going to a bar and talking to different people! But if you’re always stuck at home and not socializing, you’ll never date again.
Think carefully about the possible reasons why you’re tired of being single. Why has this dating dry patch gone on for so long?
It’s almost certainly nothing to do with you just not attracting the right person; it could be something deeper. For instance, maybe you’re holding onto past baggage or you have low self-esteem. Once you know what the problem is, you can start to fix it. [Read: Why am I single? The honest answer, 36 reasons & the excuses we use]
The signs you’re tired of being single AF
If you’re only just realizing you need to change, let us help you out. There are some pretty solid signs that say you’re tired of being single and you’re ready to mingle. How many of these do you recognize?
1. You fantasize more than you live
You tend to dwell on “what if” scenarios far more than you live in the real world. Most probably, you also fantasize about your imaginary partner and think about all the fun stuff you could do together.
No matter how much you fantasize, it won’t do you any good in terms of dating someone. If you’re tired of being single and are desperately imagining dating someone, snap out of your illusions and do something about it in the real world! [Read: 64 best places to meet men and ways to find your perfect attractive, eligible guy]
2. You’re always hooking up
Do you find yourself trying to convince your play buddy to stay the night? What about inviting them out for a date that doesn’t involve getting naked? Here’s a thought: perhaps you have come to a point where hooking up doesn’t do anything for you, and you yearn for something more.
Yes, hookups are fun and games. Until you get tired of it. [Read: Sleeping together but not dating – A really good idea or a bad one?]
There will always come a point when you become exhausted from the casual setup of hookups, no matter how good they are in bed or hot they are. Hookups will never provide the same fulfillment that a committed relationship will.
3. Jealousy rears its ugly head
You despise all your friends who are in happy relationships and can’t help but turn green with envy every time they regale you with their relationship stories.
You can’t help but feel sorry for yourself and you tend to wonder why the universe is so unfair. [Read: 46 secrets to stop being jealous for no reason and learn to live envy-free]
Well, maybe it’s not that the universe is unjust. Maybe you just don’t make enough effort to change your life. Relationships are hard work, which isn’t limited to landing yourself on a date or meeting a cute stranger.
You need to do the work to get what you want, just like anything else in life. So if you’re honestly tired of being single, stop feeling jealous of all your friends and just get yourself out there! [Read: 28 thirsty signs you’re sexually frustrated, horny, and need sex ASAP]
4. You whine about it
Everyone, from your BFF to your cleaning lady, knows that you’re tired of being single. Watch the words you end up saying to yourself because more often than not, it ends up being true.
You get nothing from complaining about how tired you are of being single, but you get something if you do something about it. All you’re doing by complaining is bringing a lot of negative vibes into your life, which you don’t even need. [Read: 46 tips, rules, and relationship advice for women to have a great love life]
5. You call up exes
Thinking about your ex and wondering what went wrong is perfectly normal. But if you go the extra mile and call them up to rekindle the romance, you have certainly gone too far. This isn’t a good habit to maintain, especially when you keep complaining you’re tired of being single.
Being stuck on an ex and chasing after them will do you no good. Your relationship ended for a reason, and it’s best to move forward with acceptance and clarity. If you need closure, then get it. But don’t keep chasing after them. [Read: Resolute ways to resist the urge to call your ex]
6. You’ve forgotten how to share
Being single means having everything to yourself. From hogging the blanket to ordering takeout for one, there’s no need to share anything if there’s no one special in your life.
Once you start resenting others for assuming that you’re down to share something *whether it’s splitting the check or enjoying a buy-one-free-one savings*, you should realize that you’re not being cheap—you’re just getting too comfortable being single.
There’s something fulfilling about sharing things with a partner, so the fact that you forgot how to share means you’re missing the dating scene quite a bit. [Read: 16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship]
7. You detest weddings
It’s not just weddings that put you off—it’s any event or gathering that showcases couples, love, romance, and everything that you don’t have. It’s pretty normal to feel this way, significantly more when you’re growing tired of being single. So don’t worry, you’re not alone in this feeling!
The best thing you can do is *try your best* to be happy for the bride and groom getting married and use that wedding to get yourself out there! It’s considered a social event, so you never know, right? [Read: When will I find love? 25 secrets that WILL help you find the one]
8. You agree to blind dates and online dating
It’s a general belief that, once you resort to blind dates and online dating, you’re desperate. This isn’t true for everyone, of course, and is definitely a nasty stereotype, but if you can’t find yourself a mate and have to resort to these options, you must really want to find a partner quickly.
After all, it’s the most convenient way of getting yourself out there. If you really can’t help it and feel like you’ll find someone through these options, why not? It’s better than binging Netflix all day and doing nothing for your dating life. [Read: Why dating apps and online dating sucks and 37 secrets to make it fun and flirty!]
9. You get emotional
Chick flicks, love songs, couple-themed memes, and other mushy love stuff make you want to lock yourself in an underground bunker and die. Not just that, any image with those annoying #RelationshipGoals hashtags makes you want to flush your phone down the toilet.
There’s no reason to get so emotional—unless you’re way too tired of being single and want a change. If you get triggered by these things, it’s time to make a change and maybe change your relationship status from single to dating! [Read: Why am I so emotional? Emotional stability and 27 secrets to balance life]
10. You’ve relaxed your standards
Remember when you were picky about who you wanted to date? Well, those were the good ol’ days. Now, you find yourself relaxing your standards so much, that you’re willing to settle for anyone—as long as they are single and somewhat into you.
This is an obvious indicator that you don’t want to be single any longer and are looking to date someone… anyone, for that matter. [Read: Higher standards – Why going low only leads to lousy relationships]
11. It’s no secret
The people in your life most probably are aware that you’re single and looking for someone. You boast about it whenever you get the chance, whether it’s through social media captions or your stories.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with declaring that you’re ready for a relationship and a family, but is announcing it on social media really the appropriate thing to do? It brings us back to our first sign of not living in the real world. [Read: 19 clear signs you are ready for a serious relationship]
12. You’re starting to agree with your mother
Her incessant chants of, “you’re going to die alone” and “where the hell are my grandkids?” no longer annoy, but motivate you. Once you start making sense of your mother’s nagging, you know that it’s probably time for you to seek out a mate.
So that should be motivation enough to try harder in finding someone and seek love the best chance you get! Nobody should be doomed to die alone, you know. [Read: Harsh dating tips you need to accept to make dating work for you]
13. You’ve been on a dating website or app for way too long
Look, there’s no measurement for how long you should be using a dating app or website. However, if you’ve been doing this and you haven’t landed a date with the potential of developing a relationship with them, it’s a sign you’re tired of being single *and have been single for way too long*.
So stop depending on dating apps and go to a social gathering, attend a work event, and meet someone in person! Maybe dating apps aren’t your thing, and that’s completely fine! [Read: Bumble vs. Tinder – Which hot dating app best fits your love needs?]
14. You feel overwhelmed with relationship talk
It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed with relationship talk, especially when others ask how long ago was your last relationship. Every time you tell people it’s been three years since your last relationship or six years, you end up feeling overwhelmed by how long it’s been.
You start contemplating everything in your dating life, including the few to several attempts that never made it into an actual relationship.
15. People assume you’re not available
There are two types of single people in this world—one who keeps turning down people, and one who dates every breathing person on the planet.
If you tend to be the first one and you’ve been doing it for a significant period, people will assume that you definitely aren’t single and ready to mingle. Everyone, including your loved ones, assumes that you’re just not interested in a relationship. [Read: 18 signs a person is meant to be single and you like it that way!]
16. You’re tempted to date your one-night stand
Whether it was a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits situation, you’re so desperate to date someone that you’re willing to turn your casual fling into something more. Even if you don’t feel anything for them, you don’t really care—you just want to date someone.
This kind of desperation is what it feels like to be tired of being single. You settle for even your hookups to make it into a dating relationship.
17. You can’t recall your last genuine kiss
It’s easy to kiss without emotions, as you do it all the time with casual flings and hookups. But what really matters is the kiss that made you feel something. The type of kiss you see in movies where there’s nobody else in the room but them and sparks start to fly when your lips touch.
It might seem a tad dramatic, but it’s what a kiss with emotions feels like! So if you can’t recall the last time you felt that way, it’s because you’re tired of being single. [Read: 29 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone passionately and deeply]
18. You detest love songs and movies
Watching The Notebook or A Walk To Remember with your friends over the weekend? Pass, you’d rather watch a sitcom instead, or maybe an action film.
That’s how much you detest anything and everything that resembles love and romance. This is because they remind you of everything you could possibly want in life but aren’t achieving. [Read: Love sucks! 36 reasons why we hate it and yet crave for it]
19. You blog way too much
When you look at your personal blog, it all has hints of your personal experience of love and relationships, including breakups and relationship advice *even ones you can’t seem to follow for yourself*.
If you’re blogging way too much, it could be because you’re using it as a way to express the fact that you’re tired of being single. Writing and blogging about your emotions is a great release, after all.
20. You’ve tried every hobby on the planet
Whether it’s dance class, painting a canvas, learning how to knit, or even making a decent video, you’ve tried everything! This is normal when you’re trying to reinvent yourself after a breakup but do it too long, and you end up doing every hobby that exists.
So if this is the case, you’re clearly just tired of being single and trying to fill the time that you want to be spending with a partner. [Read: Why does everyone hate me? 69 things you do that people probably don’t like!]
Are your ingrained habits keeping you single?
It’s very possible that the habits you have and don’t realize are actually the very things that keep you totally single. Yes, you could be sabotaging yourself without even knowing it.
So, let’s check out some of the habits that you really need to recognize and kick out of your life. [Read: 18 bad habits that’ll make your partner want to leave you]
1. You think you’re not good enough
If you have been single for a while, there’s a very good chance that you have this awful habit of telling yourself that you’re not good enough for that cute barista, that hot accountant at work, the gym instructor with the abs of steel, or for anyone else, for that matter.
If you think you’re not good enough, then every potential partner who comes your way will also think that you’re not good enough, too.
Confidence is key when trying to score a mate, so be sure to exude it from every pore. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the sexiest, funniest, smartest, or best-looking person in the room.
All that counts is how confident you are about how you look and feel. It will shine through, and you will be the flame that draws in all the moths. [Read: How to feel more confident in your body and fall in love with you]
2. You think you don’t deserve a relationship
You’ll be surprised at how superstitious some people can be. If you think some misdemeanor in the past is the reason you’re single, you need to snap out of it. The universe isn’t punishing you, but it’s quite possible that your mindset and superstitions are!
3. You think you’re not ready
You need to stop telling yourself that you’re not ready for a relationship. By constantly telling yourself that, you’re just messing with your mind and turning that nonsensical thought into reality.
Of course, digging yourself out of the darkness after a hard breakup is very difficult. However, you must relearn how to put yourself out there and leave the past behind.
Heartbreak sucks, but you cannot let it hold you back from finding someone new. If you keep clinging to the past, you will never experience a brand-new future. [Read: Self-love secrets after a break up and ways to raise your broken self-esteem]
4. You’re obsessed with timing
Many people use “timing” as an excuse for not getting into a relationship, but most are kidding themselves. There’s no such thing as “the right time.” There are some exceptions, of course, and those include still being married, going bankrupt, or dealing with mental issues.
Any excuse other than those signifies cowardice.
Life is short, and you don’t know if you’ll even have tomorrow to play with. It’s all about ups and downs, and there will never be a time when everything is absolutely perfect. If perfection is what you’re waiting for, then you’ll be single forever.
Stop hesitating when it comes to matters of the heart because if you don’t jump in, you’ll never know just how great it could be. [Read: Fear of rejection – 56 signs, causes, and ways to overcome and get over it]
5. You’re a gossip-monger
As the saying goes, “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.” No one wants to date someone with a big mouth and a bad attitude, so be sure to vanquish that habit today.
Keep your life and the lives of those around you drama-free, and you’ll find that potential partners will be more eager to date you.
6. You’re too picky
Stop finding fault with everything and everyone. Being high-maintenance is not a good look on you or on anyone else, for that matter. If you’re picky, you’re going to drive some real gems away. Finding fault in everything and everyone will only work against you.
For example, if you complain about how someone dresses or what they do for a living, you can rest assured that you’ll be single for a long time. No one will be good enough for you if you don’t let the little things go. [Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]
7. You have impossible expectations
Sure, everyone wants to date someone super-hot and famous, but that’s not going to happen. Snap back to reality, and stop envisioning the impossible.
So what if they’re a little soft around the edges? They have a good heart, and will always be kind to you. So what if they talk too loudly in restaurants? They’re funny and make you laugh.
There’s nothing wrong with setting standards for yourself, but you need to seriously keep your expectations realistic if you don’t want to be single for the rest of your days. [Read: 19 unrealistic expectations in love we want to believe but shouldn’t]
8. You don’t know what you want
Life is for the living, and there’s no point in wasting it by blindly making your way through life. Set clear goals for yourself, and figure out what you want.
Do you want to be with someone who wants to live a nomadic life of travel and adventure? Do you want to settle down with someone who wants a family? Are you keen on dating someone who’s fine with an open relationship? Do you only want a “fun buddy?”
Sort out what you want, and the rest will come easy. [Read: Lower your expectations – the best way to find love or compete BS?]
9. You’re unhappy with yourself
If you’re unhappy with yourself, you have to realize that it is obvious to those around you, including potential lovers.
It shows in the way you act, talk, and walk. Who do you think potential dates are going to flock to at a party: the one sitting with hunched shoulders in the corner or the one smiling and dancing on the dance floor?
Unless you can learn to love yourself and be confident with who you are, you will never be able to fully love another. Potential partners can sense that, and trust us when we say that no one wants the drama of having to deal with your emotional baggage.
10. You reek of desperation
It’s obvious in the way you interact with potential partners, and you can be sure that desperation stinks way more than sour milk. Reign your desperation in, and act like you could have the pick of anyone in the room.
If you truly believe that, then everyone else will too, and you’ll find it much easier to score a date. [Read: 36 soul secrets to find your soulmate, draw them closer, and meet them soon]
Dating goals to have when you’re with someone new
If you’re tired of being single, it may be that when you do meet someone, you make mistakes that ruin it from the start.
Setting dating goals keeps your mind on track and stops you from jumping to conclusions. It can also help you choose the right person, rather than someone wildly unsuitable. So, what are some things you should be keeping in mind?
1. Date someone who respects your time
A lot of people don’t realize just how important this expectation is. Our time is limited—we shouldn’t waste it. Therefore, you should date someone who respects your time and is aware that you’re giving up a lot by dating them.
If you’re dating someone who hardly gets back to you at all or in a timely manner, they’re certainly not worth it. Find someone else who will respect the time you give them. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]
2. Find someone who shares your core values
You don’t need to have everything in common with the person you’re with. You can enjoy different types of music and movies and still have a successful relationship. That is, so long as you have the same core values.
One of your dating goals should be to find someone who shares your deepest beliefs. These are things like religion, your morals, and the things you value most.
The things that make you who you are and direct your life should be shared with the person you’ll end up spending forever with.
3. Date someone in it for the same reasons
You just can’t ignore when the person you’re dating isn’t on the same page as you. Put your expectations out there right away. Tell them you want someone who’s in it for the real thing.
You’re ready to find the one and you need to make sure they want to, too. If you just date anyone and hope that they want the same things as you, you could end up really hurt.
Eventually, you’ll find out they’re just looking for some fun in the bedroom. [Read: 42 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship and how to let them know]
4. Date someone who has passions
It doesn’t really matter what those passions are—so long as they’re healthy and moral. You just want someone who is passionate about something. Make one of your goals to date someone like this.
It’ll help show you who they are. Since our passions speak volumes about us, this is important.
5. Find someone interested in your interests
This isn’t to say that they have to have the same hobbies as you. Actually, they may not even understand a hobby of yours at all. This is more of them finding interest in the things you love and care about.
You’re likely to pick up new hobbies and interests as life goes on and you need someone who is supportive of those things. It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand them. That’s why this should be on your list of dating goals. [Read: 35 new relationship advice and tips to avoid common mistakes couples make]
6. Date someone who isn’t shallow
First of all, shallow people are a huge turn-off in general. However, you definitely need to have the expectation of dating someone who isn’t shallow. Find someone who cares about the deeper qualities of a person.
Because beauty on the outside is fleeting. You’re adorable and good-looking for only a short amount of time; you will age. So you want to have someone by your side who still thinks you’re amazing because of what’s underneath the surface. [Read: Why inner beauty is more important than looks]
7. Find someone who adds value to your life
If you’re the only person bringing anything good into the relationship and you’re receiving nothing, it’s a recipe for disaster.
A successful relationship is a two-way street. You both need to give and take. If they’re getting way more positive things from you and you’re getting nothing in return, it just won’t work out.
8. Date someone who envisages a similar life to you
This is something that needs to be high on your list of dating goals. You should be looking for someone who has the same vision of what a happy life looks like.
If you disagree on this, you’ll never be able to actually live a happy life with them without being unhappy about certain things. [Read: 250 fun, deep relationship questions for couples to feel closer and more loved]
9. Find someone who makes you laugh
Life can get really tough and you will be faced with hard times. You need to find someone who can make you laugh and who you can laugh easily with.
During the toughest times, you’ll need that person to help lift your spirits. We cannot emphasize enough how important this is.
10. Date someone you can have deep discussions with
At the same time, you also need to find someone you can get serious with. All jokes and humor won’t cut it in the real world. Your expectations need to be deeper than that. [Read: 40 very deep questions to ask someone before you get close to them]
You need to be able to talk about the difficult stuff and the meaningful things in life. Finding someone who can connect with you on a deeper level and who you can actually talk about meaningful things with is crucial to finding the person to spend your life with. [Read: Couple goals – 58 fake and real ideas you MUST add to your relationship goals]
But… maybe you want to stay single in the end
This might sound a little off-center, but hear us out. You see, once you’ve been single for a while and then you eventually start dating, you might realize that you miss your single life after all!
Trust us, it happens! If that’s the case, you need to focus on yourself and stay single until the mood takes you and you want to find a serious relationship to finally settle into.
But always remember, you don’t have to be with someone to have a good time. [Read: What is serial monogamy – how it works and 23 signs of a serial monogamist]
1. Don’t think about the invisible clock
There’s no clock. Okay, women have a biological clock, but other than that, there’s no clock. You don’t have to get married by 28 nor do you have to buy a house by 30. There’s no clock, people!
Just go with the flow and do things on your own time. [Read: 58 of the best and worst reasons to get married and signs you’re not ready for it]
2. Make a list of things you want to do
Make a list of everything that you want to do. Maybe you want to travel to Europe or Japan. Maybe you want to take salsa dancing lessons or maybe you want to learn how to do graphic design. Write it down.
Make that list as long as you want, we don’t care. The point is, use this list as motivation for you to enjoy this single life. Focus on you.
3. Don’t be closed-minded about relationships
If someone asks you out, go out on a date with them. You see what you’re looking for in a relationship and the type of person you need.
This is the time when you should be exploring, so don’t be a Debbie Downer when it comes to finding love. [Read: 33 easy ways to meet new people and widen your social circle effortlessly]
4. Look at the flaws of your past relationship
Work on what was wrong in your past relationships. We know you don’t want to admit it, but you’re flawed. That’s normal.
So, take some time in looking at what you did in the past and what you want to change about yourself. Now’s the time to do it. [Read: 30 secrets to start over a new life and leave your past for a new adventure]
5. Develop strong relationships with your friends
When you’re single and crying every night alone, well, of course, you’re not having a good time. Invest your spare time hanging out with friends and family. Go out to the bar, try out a new restaurant with your buddies, or go to Mexico for vacation.
You’re single, you have time. A lot of time. So, use it. When you’re in a relationship, your friends and family are going to be put on the back burner, you know that. So, spend this time with them.
6. Think of being single as a positive lifestyle choice
Being single is really fun… if you’re doing it right. If not, you’ll end up dating someone similar to your ex. Then it’s just the same cycle all over again.
If you take the time to think of this as a learning experience about yourself, well, then you’re taking this time with a positive mind which is what you need to be doing. Think positive, and good things will happen! [Read: Why does dating get harder when you reach your 20s?]
7. Tune out the negative
Your grandparents may be asking you why you’re single and all your friends may be getting married but that doesn’t mean you need to go down that road just yet.
You need to just remove all the nagging from friends and family and just focus on yourself. This negative energy isn’t doing anyone any good.
It’s definitely not going to make you find someone any faster. So, just chill out. If someone you like pops up into your life, then go with it. [Read: Single and ready to mingle – how to let the world know you’re ready]
8. Do whatever the hell you want
Want to eat ice cream for dinner? Do it. Want to have a one-night stand? Swipe that Tinder. You do whatever you want.
That’s the beauty of being single—you have ultimate freedom. We know relationships can be nice, but for now, you’re single, so go wild.
9. Focus on your passions
Whatever it is that you love doing—painting, dancing, singing, writing—just do it. One of the secrets to knowing how to stay single is to distract yourself with things you enjoy doing.
Now is the time when you’re not distracted with dating and the whole she-said-he-said bullshit, so just focus on what brings you happiness.
Throw yourself into your passions. You’ll notice how amazing the outcome is. And it’s not for someone else, it’s for you. [Read: 32 secrets to be present and live in the moment when life is speeding past you]
10. Continue being sexually active
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re dead. So, either bulk up on the sex toys or find a friend with benefits to sleep with whenever you feel the urge. Maybe then you won’t feel so tired of being single!
Just make sure you’re always being safe!
11. Don’t glue yourself to social media
There’s something great about social media: you get to show off your single-ness. But on the other side, it seems that social media loves to poke fun at single people. They deem single people as pathetic and depressing, but that’s not true.
There’s no self-pity associated with the single life. So, if social media is being a damper on your time, just put it to the side. [Read: Social media detox: 13 ways to wean yourself off of social media]
Don’t allow your single tiredness to push you into the wrong relationship
Being single is all about being young, wild, and free. But it’s not something you can keep doing for an extended period.
It’s easy to get used to being single, realizing that nobody can break your heart or disappoint you. However, it also prevents you from experiencing love or togetherness with someone special.
The other thing to remember is that when you’re tired of being single, you might just jump into the first relationship that comes your way. Don’t do that. Wait for the right person, and trust us, it will be more than worth your time.
[Read: When will I find love? 25 secrets that WILL help you find the one]
If you’re tired of being single, don’t rush it and only date when you’re ready. The single lifestyle isn’t so bad!
The post Tired of Being Single AF: 51 Signs & the Dating Goals and Habits You Need is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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