Genetic Sexual Attraction: What It Is, 37 Symptoms & Steps to Cope with It

Science provides us with an insight into why people sometimes experience genetic sexual attraction. Why they do and a few real life examples follow.

Genetic Sexual Attraction, or GSA, is a term that came into existence in the late 1980s, coined by Barbara Gonyo. It’s used to describe the potent attraction that can occur between close blood relatives who meet as adults. It’s like being hit by Cupid’s arrow, but in this case, Cupid didn’t check the family tree first!

Now, you might be thinking, “Hey, isn’t that taboo?” and you’d be absolutely right. But let’s dig a bit deeper, shall we?

Barbara Gonyo is the woman behind the term. After giving her son up for adoption, she later reunited with him when he was 26 years old, only to be bowled over by intense romantic feelings. She found herself in a real-life soap opera—only this wasn’t a TV script but her own reality.

Shocked and troubled by her feelings, she started researching and eventually coined the term “Genetic Sexual Attraction.” She even wrote a book, “I’m His Mother, But He’s Not My Son,” to share her experience and raise awareness about GSA.

This narrative underscores how GSA can take individuals by surprise, and how it can challenge societal and personal expectations about parent-child relationships.

It’s essential to note that GSA isn’t just some offbeat version of Freud’s Oedipus complex. It often occurs among people who didn’t grow up together and, as a result, didn’t experience what’s known as the Westermarck effect, where we essentially friend-zone our siblings in the sandbox years.

In the end, it’s a complex, perplexing phenomenon, but as they say, the heart wants what the heart wants—even if it’s the same heart that’s thumping in your long-lost relative’s chest.

Science is weird, right? But that’s what makes it so fascinating!

Other Real-Life Instances of Genetic Sexual Attraction

Before we try to understand GSA better, let’s take a look at a few real life stories that made the news in recent times.

The Case of Patrick Stubing and Susan Karolweski

Patrick Stubing is a German locksmith born from a low income family. At the age of three, he was sent to foster care after an incident involving him being attacked by a knife by his alcoholic father. His sister, Susan was born four years later just as their biological parents divorced.

The siblings first met in 2000 and started a sexual relationship six months after they met. Their relationship produced four children. Since their relationship is illegal under German law, Stubing was convicted and fought for an appeal to overturn his conviction.

The Case of Steven Walter and Katie Pladl Rose

Steven Pladl and his wife had a baby named Katie Rose. They gave her up for adoption a few months after she was born. When she reached adulthood, she used the internet to find Steven and reconnected with her biological parents.

Soon after, Steven and Katie began a sexual relationship which resulted in Steven’s wife moving out of the home.

When the father-daughter couple had their own child and made plans to stage a wedding ceremony, Steven’s wife informed the authorities. This resulted in the father-daughter couple’s arrest for incest charges, and eventually a triple murder.

Kathryn Harrison and Her Father

In 1997, author Kathryn Harrison published a memoir depicting her four-year sexual relationship with her father when she was 20 years of age.

The affair started when they shared a kiss described as “sexual” when Kathryn dropped her father at the airport. The relationship deteriorated after her father became controlling. He demanded sex which escalated into rape. It only ended after she cut ties from him.

The Science Behind GSA

But why does Genetic Sexual Attraction happen? Let’s delve deeper into the potential reasons behind it.

1. Pheromones and Genetic Makeup

Pheromones, the “chemical messengers” of attraction, can play a mysterious role in our love lives. Imagine these invisible chemical notes floating in the air, silently communicating between individuals. [Read: What are pheromones? The scent of sex and the role it plays in love]

When it comes to Genetic Sexual Attraction, there’s a theory suggesting that our own body chemicals might be subtly drawn to those who share our genetic makeup, like a molecular mirror recognizing itself.

It’s as if our DNA has its own matchmaking service, seeking similarities.

But remember, the “pheromone romance” is still a ballad being composed by scientists, and the definitive role of pheromones in human attraction is a subject of continuous research and exploration.

2. Nature vs. Nurture

The classic duel of psychology! It’s the conundrum that makes psychologists sit up in their armchairs and debate with gusto. In Genetic Sexual Attraction, the nature and nurture tango is doing a complex dance.

From the ‘nature’ viewpoint, our genetic code may pull us towards those who mirror us. But ‘nurture’ twirls onto the dance floor with the Westermarck Effect.

The Westermarck Effect proposes that if individuals live in close proximity during their early formative years, they experience a ‘reverse sexual imprinting’ that usually squelches any potential sexual attraction.

However, if that early home-sharing dance doesn’t happen—as is often the case with GSA—the Westermarck Effect might be out getting snacks, leaving the dance floor open for GSA to sneak in a twirl.

So, in the landscape of human attraction, our genes and our environment seem to be carving out the paths.

GSA can be seen as a path that sometimes unexpectedly opens up, reminding us of the intricate and multifaceted nature of human emotions and relationships, shaped by a blend of our biological makeup, upbringing, and personal experiences.

Symptoms of Genetic Sexual Attraction

These symptoms are often reported by those who experience Genetic Sexual Attraction. Let’s delve into each one.

1. Intense Attraction

This could be one of the first signs. It’s an overwhelming sexual or romantic attraction to a family member you meet as an adult, which may feel out of the ordinary or stronger than typical attractions. [Read: 23 intense signs of mutual sexual attraction that are hard to miss]

2. Obsessive Thoughts

The person experiencing GSA may find themselves constantly thinking about the other person, in an obsessive or intrusive manner that can interfere with daily activities.

3. Jealousy

There may be feelings of jealousy when the other person spends time with others, particularly in romantic or intimate contexts.

4. Inappropriate Interactions

Interactions might start to cross the boundaries of typical family relationships. This could include flirting, inappropriate touching, or attempts to turn the relationship into a more romantic or sexual one.

5. Desire for Physical Closeness

Individuals may experience a strong desire to be physically close to the other person, even in non-sexual ways.

This could manifest as wanting to hug or touch them more often than would be usual for the nature of the relationship.

6. Emotional Confusion

Feelings of confusion are common, given the contrast between societal norms and personal emotions. The person may feel a mix of guilt, shame, and fear alongside their attraction.

7. Secrecy

Considering the societal taboo around incestuous relationships, there may be an element of secrecy. The person experiencing GSA might feel the need to hide their feelings, leading to a double life of sorts.

8. Uncomfortable Tension

There may be a general sense of tension or discomfort around the family member due to suppressed feelings, which others might notice as well.

9. Strong Emotional Bond

A deep emotional bond could develop, one that goes beyond typical family affection. This could manifest as intense feelings of love, protection, or need for the other person. [Read: Emotional attachment – How it works and 34 signs you’re getting attached and close to someone]

Ethical Implications of Genetic Sexual Attraction

GSA isn’t just about the emotions it stirs, it’s also entwined with moral and legal intricacies that hold substantial weight in shaping the experiences of those involved.

Let’s go through the ethical implications associated with GSA, uncovering issues from societal norms and consent dilemmas to exploitation risks and legal fallout.

1. Incest Taboo

This is a societal norm prevalent across cultures worldwide, making sexual relationships between close relatives a significant taboo.

This taboo serves biological, social, and cultural functions, contributing to the discomfort and stigma associated with GSA. [Read: Shocking sex cults and other secrets you’d want to know]

2. Family Disruption

Genetic Sexual Attraction can lead to significant turmoil within families.

The change in dynamics can cause confusion, distress, and tension among family members, disrupting existing relationships and causing emotional distress.

3. Exploitation Risk

There’s a risk that one party, especially if they are older or in a position of authority, might exploit the other person involved. This can lead to unhealthy power dynamics and potential harm. [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship – Why you feel stuck and how to get out!]

4. Consent Issues

Consent can become a grey area in GSA relationships. Because of the complex emotions and potential power imbalances, it might be challenging to ensure informed, free, and voluntary consent.

For instance, family dynamics could introduce power imbalances, particularly in parent-child relationships or between siblings with substantial age differences.

Such power disparities could undermine the very premise of consent, as the less dominant party might feel indirectly or directly pressured into maintaining a relationship they don’t entirely comprehend or desire.

5. Genetic Issues

Biologically, procreation between close relatives increases the chance of offspring inheriting genetic disorders.

In the general population, the likelihood of both parents carrying the same defective gene is relatively low, so even if one parent passes on the defective gene, the child may not develop the disorder, thanks to the healthy gene from the other parent.

However, in the case of close relatives, the gene pool is considerably more similar. This means the chances of both parents carrying the same defective gene—and subsequently passing it on to their child—increases significantly, raising the risk of the child developing a genetic disorder.

It’s a significant reason behind the universal incest taboo.

6. Emotional Harm

Those experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction can grapple with feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion.

If these emotions aren’t managed appropriately, they can lead to substantial emotional harm, including anxiety, depression, or self-isolation.

7. Legal Consequences

In many jurisdictions, incestuous relationships are illegal, even among consenting adults. Those involved in GSA relationships might face legal repercussions, depending on local laws. *more on this later*

8. Stigmatization

Society often stigmatizes those experiencing GSA, leading to further feelings of isolation, shame, and fear. This stigmatization can have severe psychological effects and hinder individuals’ ability to seek help.

9. Counseling Challenges

Due to GSA’s rarity and taboo nature, therapists might be ill-equipped to handle such cases, leading to challenges in providing effective help and support.

Legal Consequences of Pursing a Relationship Based on This Attraction

We’re taking a clear-eyed look at the law. We’ll be dealing with the dos and don’ts of pursuing certain attractions, which, let’s be honest, can get quite complicated.

It’s like navigating a busy intersection – slightly stressful, but doable with the right rules in mind.

1. Incest Laws

Many countries, states, or provinces have laws prohibiting sexual relations or marriage between close relatives.

These laws, often referred to as incest laws, might consider such relationships a crime, leading to potential penalties that range from fines to imprisonment.

It’s essential to be aware of local laws to understand the potential legal repercussions fully.

2. Age of Consent Law

If one party involved is under the age of consent *which varies depending on the jurisdiction*, it may constitute statutory rape, even if the relationship is consensual. These laws aim to protect minors from sexual exploitation.

3. Exploitation and Coercion Laws

If there’s an element of coercion or exploitation in the relationship, it could lead to additional legal consequences.

Power dynamics can be complex in relationships stemming from GSA, and if it’s determined that one party is taking advantage of the other, it can result in legal trouble.

4. Issues of Privacy

Still depending on the jurisdiction, parties involved might have some right to privacy in their consensual sexual relationships.

However, this can be a complex area of the law and often clashes with societal norms and legal constraints related to incestuous relationships.

5. Repercussions for Offspring

In places where incestuous relationships are illegal, any resulting offspring might face legal and social repercussions. These could range from difficulties in securing a legal status for the child to potential health issues due to consanguinity.

Coping with GSA

How does one cope with such an unusual and complex situation? Here’s how:

1. Acceptance and Understanding

First off, acknowledge the feelings without guilt or self-condemnation. Understanding that GSA is a real phenomenon can provide some comfort and mitigate feelings of isolation or confusion.

2. Professional Help

This is where therapy and counseling come in. A licensed psychologist or counselor who understands the complexity of GSA can provide a safe space for individuals to express their feelings, offering strategies to manage and navigate them.

3. Support Groups

Participating in support groups—either online or in-person—can also be beneficial.

Sharing experiences with others who are going through the same situation can provide comfort, reduce feelings of isolation, and offer practical coping strategies.

4. Research and Education

Knowledge is power. The more you understand about GSA, the better equipped you’ll be to manage your feelings. Online resources, books, and scientific papers can provide helpful insights.

5. Boundaries

It’s essential to establish clear emotional and physical boundaries, especially if the other person involved is also struggling with GSA. This can prevent any actions that might be regretted later.

6. Self-Care

Remember to prioritize self-care. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, sufficient sleep, and mindfulness activities can help manage stress and maintain emotional balance.

7. Respect Consent

If both parties are adults and mutually consent to a relationship, it’s important to remember that some places have laws against incestuous relationships. Seeking legal advice might be necessary to understand the potential consequences.

8. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation practices can help individuals manage their feelings and achieve a sense of calm.

These practices enable individuals to observe their feelings without judgment, helping them better understand and cope with their emotions. [Read: 33 secrets to stop thinking about someone you like but know you shouldn’t]

9. Healthy Distractions

Engaging in hobbies, pursuing interests, or picking up new skills can act as healthy distractions. These activities can help take the mind off overwhelming feelings and provide a sense of achievement and normalcy.

10. Strengthening Other Relationships

Investing time and energy in other relationships—like friendships and other familial bonds—can help provide emotional support and a sense of belonging.

These relationships can act as a counterbalance, providing perspective, and a wider emotional outlet. [Read: 27 happy ways to make new friends, mistakes to avoid and the best apps to use]

11. Maintaining Physical Health

Physical health can influence emotional well-being. Regular exercise releases endorphins, known as “feel-good” hormones, which can help manage stress and improve mood.

12. Avoiding Harmful Coping Mechanisms

It’s crucial to avoid harmful coping mechanisms like substance abuse. Such practices can lead to additional physical and psychological health issues.

13. Seeking Legal Advice

As we have discussed above, it’s also important to understand the legal implications of GSA, especially in jurisdictions where incestuous relationships are criminalized. Consulting a lawyer can provide clarity on local laws and potential legal consequences.

14. Continued Learning

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a complex phenomenon, and ongoing research may reveal new findings over time.

Keeping abreast of the latest research can equip individuals with new coping strategies and a better understanding of their situation.

Final Thoughts

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon. But remember, experiencing these feelings doesn’t make you a bad person.

Empathy, understanding, and professional help are key in dealing with GSA. Don’t be afraid to seek assistance—it’s okay to ask for help, and there are resources and support available.

In the end, we are all wonderfully complicated beings, continuously learning and growing. Life throws us curveballs, and sometimes they come in the form of Genetic Sexual Attraction. But with understanding, empathy, and a little help, we can face these challenges head-on and navigate through them. After all, as the saying goes, we’re only human.

The post Genetic Sexual Attraction: What It Is, 37 Symptoms & Steps to Cope with It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.