Are you dating a manchild? Immature men are everywhere. Here are the signs of one and how you can help him change. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.
It’s an unfortunate reality that we can’t escape – immature men are all over the place. Even a grown man can turn out to be a manchild, making things much harder for you.
If you want your romantic life to be easier and more fulfilling, you need to steer clear of immaturity and learn to spot a manchild when you see one.
They probably won’t be at your maturity level and this often makes it hard for them to understand commitment and what you need to make a relationship work. [Read: What age does a man emotionally mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]
What is a manchild?
A manchild is a man who is so immature that they are considered a child. By “immature” we mean that this man can’t take care of himself in any way, shape, or form.
For some reason, it seems like there is a manchild epidemic threatening to take over the world. Since our generation doesn’t stress the need for growing up, some people just never seem to catch up to their actual age anymore.
Yet, in past generations, you needed to get your act together by the age of 16 and grow up! [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]
How to spot immature men from a mile away
If you’re trying to avoid immaturity in the guys you date, you’ll want to figure it out early. Here’s how to tell if a guy is a manchild and super immature.
These signs may not be super noticeable at first, but after some practice, you’ll be able to point out the immature men easily.
1. He gets upset about small things very easily
This is usually just because he doesn’t possess the skills to solve problems on his own yet. And that means he’s pretty immature. [Read: 16 types of guys you should avoid like the plague]
When someone is always getting upset about things that aren’t really that big of a deal, it means they’re immature.
2. He’s jealous
Those who are jealous are usually insecure. Those who are insecure are usually pretty immature. They haven’t yet figured out how to accept themselves as is.
This means you can run into a lot of issues with jealousy simply because he’ll be comparing himself to anyone else you ever talk to. Which obviously causes major fights and unhappiness. Manchild alert![Read: 25 signs a guy is jealous that he just can’t hide]
3. There’s no communication on his end
Immature men have trouble communicating in general. They don’t really know how to effectively communicate and they often don’t understand the importance of it, either.
If a guy is having major communication issues early on, he’s probably really immature. Watch out!
4. He gets weirded out by commitment
Guys who are very immature don’t like commitment. They think about all the stereotypes of guys in committed relationships and they run for the hills. This is a major sign of immaturity and a manchild. [Read: How to get through the most common commitment issues]
It takes a mature man to admit that commitment is actually great. It makes him stronger when committing to a single person and being faithful. Immature men, on the other hand, are scared by it.
5. He doesn’t have plans for the future
If you ask a guy what he wants for his future and he shrugs or mumbles about how he doesn’t know, he’s pretty damn immature.
Failing to make plans shows a lack of interest in your future and that definitely shows a level of immaturity. [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]
6. He constantly complains about things rather than changing them
Those who complain and complain and complain without ever doing something to make a difference are really immature. They’d rather bitch and moan about something than do something to fix it. If you start dating a person like this, he’s a manchild and you should get out as fast as possible.
7. He doesn’t like people who are more successful
This is a dislike that’s linked only to the fact that they’re successful. It has nothing to do with anything else. This is a major sign of immaturity because it’s also a form of jealousy.
They’re upset someone else is doing good things mainly because they’re not.
A mature man would see a successful person and want to learn from them. He would look up to them and try to work just as hard to succeed. That person would become more of a role model and less of a threat to a mature man. [Read: How to tell the difference between jealousy and envy]
8. He judges you harshly
If you can’t safely open up to someone you’re dating, it’s a pretty big sign something is wrong. A guy who judges you harshly without knowing the background information is super immature. He’s not taking the time to think things through. He’s judging based on one little thing and that’s it.
9. He’s lazy
People who are mature know that it takes hard work to make things happen. Immature people, however, would rather do nothing and wait.
If the guy you’re seeing seems to be super lazy, he’s also probably very immature. [Read: Lazy boyfriend – 20 signs, why guys get lazy in love and how to help him change]
10. He doesn’t respect your opinion
Aka, if he disagrees, he gets pissed instead of talking things out and trying to understand where you’re coming from. This could be about anything, really.
Maybe you two are discussing politics and you disagree with each other. Instead of listening to your reasoning, an immature man will just argue and get mad when you don’t agree with him.
11. He always “jokes” with you, but they don’t feel like jokes
His “jokes” are always super harsh digs at you. They’re not innocent little jokes. They’re hurtful. [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]
When a guy is making fun of you in a way that actually hurts you, he’s just really immature and has no regard for your feelings. That’s not really someone you want to be in a relationship with.
12. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions
Maturity is being able to admit when you’re wrong and apologize for it. Immature men will continuously argue that they weren’t wrong or they’ll ignore the issue altogether.
If a guy is showing this sign that he’s super immature, run. You’ll only have problems with him. [Read: The devious signs of a manipulator you need to watch out for]
13. He’s rude to others
This can be waitresses, cashiers, or really anyone who is supposed to be doing a service for him.
Being mean to those who are trying to help is a major sign of immaturity and a lack of empathy. Both of those qualities aren’t exactly great things to have in a man.
14. He doesn’t stick to his word
This is one of the biggest traits of an immature man. Does he stick to his promises when he makes them? If not, it could be a big sign of immaturity. [Read: 22 early signs he would be a bad boyfriend]
Guys who are always making promises and never keeping them don’t respect you or their own words. How can you trust someone like that? His immaturity in this sense can cause major issues.
15. You feel the need to tell him to grow up
If you’re always fighting the urge to tell a guy to grow up, then he’s probably immature. You already recognize that he’s acting childish. Need we say more? He’s a manchild.
16. He never cleans up after himself
As in, EVER. A guy who throws dirty dishes into the sink without even rinsing them and then lets them fester there for days until you finally have had enough is nothing more than your typical manchild. [Read: Is your boyfriend lazy and boring? Fix him up for good!]
It’s also possible that he doesn’t clean up after himself not because he’s lazy, but because he actually doesn’t know how to work the dishwasher – or hell, even the sink.
17. He expects you to do all the household chores
If your boyfriend is harping at you to cook, clean, do the laundry, and all of the stuff that the “girl is supposed to do” then he hasn’t matured yet at all.
He’s probably been super-smothered by his mother who did everything for him and he still hasn’t grown out of it. [Read: 36 secrets to spot difficult people and deal with them in a calm and cool way]
18. He sulks if he doesn’t get his way
Do you know how a toddler will throw everything they’re holding and lay on the ground screaming until you give them what they want? He’s a lot like that.
He can’t handle it when life doesn’t cater to his every need. So, he sulks and throws a tantrum instead.
19. He can’t handle constructive criticism
A manchild just can’t take it when someone tells them how they can do something better.
In his immature mind, he’s the best at everything. So, he’ll just slump down for a while following constructive criticism.
This is a common trait amongst immature men and shows that they believe they’re the most important person in the world. [Read: Narcissistic boyfriend – 28 signs and ways to deal with a narc guy or dump him]
20. He’s never wrong
If arguing with your boyfriend is completely pointless because there’s just no way he’ll ever see your side because he’s always right, you may be dating a manchild.
21. Any type of game brings out his ugly side
Forget drinking games, board games, and even a nice game of Frisbee because if he loses – or even if he wins – he’ll be a sore loser or a gloating, insulting winner. [Read: Annoying boyfriend habits that most girls experience in a relationship]
You might as well just not bother playing because you know that it won’t end well, either way.
22. He only thinks about himself
Selfishness is a big trait of a manchild. His inability to think about anyone else in any given situation just proves his immaturity.
He believes the world revolves around him completely and again, it’s probably because his mother did everything for him. [Read: Selfishness in relationships and 15 ways to deal with it the right way]
23. He can’t handle his finances
If he’s spending money left and right with no way of tracking it or even being able to pay for it, you’re dating a manchild. This is another major trait of immature men and it does not bode well for your relationship.
His lack of financial control will impact you, especially if you get to the point where you share finances later down the line.
24. He lets his mom treat him like a child
Honestly, we would have to say that about 50% of the responsibility for a guy becoming a manchild lies with how his mother treats him. [Read: 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]
If he still lets his mom treat him as she did when he was small, that’s a major red flag. It’s time he grew up!
25. He talks a big game but hardly ever follows through
He may talk tough, and he may promise you great things, but if he never–or hardly–follows through with his intentions, then he’s a manchild.
You can’t trust his promises because you know they’re probably not going to come to fruition. He makes plans and then flakes on them. He’s not true to his word and it’s one of the big signs of immature men. [Read: 20 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and just wants to have fun]
26. If he gets sick, it’s the end of the world
Does he actually act like a child when he’s sick? He might just have a cold but in his eyes, it’s the worst thing to hit the world since the black plague. He also expects you to nurse him back to health, just as his mom did when he was young.
27. He can’t hold a steady job
Does your boyfriend constantly have to be looking for a job because he’ll be fired or quit after only a few months? If so, it could be a sign that he’s a manchild because he can’t follow rules and maintain a steady job. [Read: Types of guys you need to stop dating if you want real love]
28. He attacks you during an argument
Because he doesn’t know how to work through conflict in an effective manner, he will attack you during an argument. [Read: Turn offs for girls – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]
This deflects the blame onto you, always making you look like the bad guy even when you’re not. So, he will attack you instead of looking at what he did wrong.
29. He has no impulse control
Whether it comes to spending his money, yelling at you, drinking, or just giving into any desire he has in the moment, he has no impulse control.
He doesn’t have the ability to stop himself and ask, “Should I really be doing this?” because he has no ability to self-reflect. [Read: Peter Pan Syndrome – what it is, 31 childish signs, and how to grow up ASAP]
30. He is a bully
A manchild is weak and immature. Because of this, he feels like he has to bully other people to get his way.
Instead of being mature and talking things through in a logical manner, he just resorts to bullying people. He thinks this makes him look powerful when in reality, he just looks like a silly little manchild.
31. He is a poor listener
He just doesn’t really want to hear anything anyone has to say. It could be about how your day went, a problem you have, or just telling him something interesting. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]
And God forbid you actually try to talk to him during a football game or while he’s playing a video game. He doesn’t care what comes out of anyone’s mouth.
32. He is unsupportive
If you’ve had a bad day or if your tire needs changed, he just isn’t there for you. You can’t rely on him for anything.
In fact, you might as well be alone because he surely doesn’t make your life easier by taking care of you in any way. He’s completely unsupportive of you or anyone else. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
33. He is a pathological liar
Children lie because they think that they can get away with it and no one will figure them out. But their brains aren’t developed enough yet to know that is not true.
However, a manchild’s brain should be developed, but he acts like a toddler and lies all the time. He doesn’t care about the consequences of his lies either.
34. He lacks healthy ways to cope with stress
Everyone has stress in their lives – it’s pretty inevitable for most people. But immature men don’t have very healthy ways to deal with it. [Read: 17 life secrets to smile more often, feel great, and laugh your stress away]
Instead of going to the gym or meditating, he will drink too much, smoke, and play video games 24/7 to escape or do some other activity that is not helping him or the other people in his life.
35. Unable to delay gratification
When a manchild wants something, he wants it NOW. He doesn’t have the ability to think about it and ask himself whether or not it’s a good idea to have it.
And he has no patience and can’t delay any kind of gratification at all. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Just like a toddler. [Read: What is masculinity? 46 manly and toxic traits women love and despise in men]
Can an immature man ever change?
Of course, everyone can change their ways if they really want to. The problem is that immaturity doesn’t tend to be something people are aware of or like to be pointed out to them.
Fixing a manchild isn’t an easy task. It could take a long time for him to properly mature into a real adult. However, there are some ways to hurry the process along.
1. Be patient
We say this first because fixing a manchild can be a long and frustrating process. Take it day by day and just remember to be calm.
If you really care about him and want to be with him, be patient with the process. [Read: The big reasons why a man feels emasculated and behaves like a manchild]
2. Communicate with him
You have to tell him what he’s doing and how it’s affecting you. He doesn’t realize that he’s being immature. Make sure he knows how you feel and tell him often so he’s always reminded that he has to be changing something.
3. Use incentives for him to change
If talking to him just isn’t enough, you may have to get real with him. Now, he may not accept this at first, but you’ll have to try. [Read: 33 signs and qualities that make a guy a really good boyfriend]
Tell him that if he can’t grow up and get his act together, you may have to move on. It’s a meaningful incentive, but it’s also honest down to its core.
Is it worth dating an immature man?
That’s a tough one! It really depends upon the degree of immaturity. If he’s a super-manchild then you’re just going to end up frustrated all the time.
But, if his immaturity isn’t that far up the scale, perhaps you can work with him to change. It’s a personal choice at the end of the day but you have to think about what happens when things don’t go well. [Read: How to know if you should break up – 22 signs that can guide you]
Life always throws us curve balls and you need to be able to handle these things together. That takes a certain amount of maturity. And if he’s a manchild, you’re always going to be the one responsible for making the big decisions without much support.
You have to question whether that’s something you’re willing to handle. For sure, you might love him, but if you can’t handle a total lack of support, you need to walk away. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize the love that hurts you]
Get your man to recognize that he’s an immature manchild
The first half of the article was for you to spot the signs of a manchild and either stay away from him or decide how to handle him if you’re already with one.
But this next part is for him. If you’re already in a relationship with a manchild and want him to change, the first step is to get him to admit he’s an immature man. It’s not going to be easy, and he will deny it. But this is the first step toward change.
So, you will have to have him read this next section. However, you have to approach him in a non-confrontational way. You can’t criticize or yell at him when you are doing this or else it won’t work. Instead, you have to approach him in a loving and non-judgmental way.
Ask him if he feels like maybe he wants to improve himself. Start with something he would respond well to, like making more money.
You could ask, “Honey, wouldn’t you love to have more money so we can go out and do more things or travel?” He’ll probably answer “Yes.” [Read: How to not be a narcissist – self-reflecting steps to change yourself]
From there, you can say that you want to help him change. And you need to emphasize that this is for his own good too – not just yours. Remember a manchild is very selfish. If he doesn’t see anything in it for him, then he won’t do it.
So, you’re going to have to be very methodical and deliberate for this to work. You might even say that if he wants to keep you, he will have to read this and try to make some changes.
As we said, it’s not going to be easy, but it can be done. So, are you ready? [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
How to stop being a manchild
Sure, you like to be babied. It’s nice and convenient to have someone taking care of your every need, but it’s not helping you.
If anything, your skills are diminishing by the second and soon you’ll be left completely helpless. You really don’t want to become that person.
So, if you landed on this feature, you know you need to change your ways. Which is great! It’s the first step in dropping the “child” from your title. [Read: Self-centered people – 40 signs and ways to change yourself or deal with one]
You need to “man up” and become a man. If you’re over 18 and called a manchild, this is for you. It’s time to be a man.
1. Accept what you are
This doesn’t mean you don’t have to change, you still do. But accepting your behavior and actions is the first step in overcoming your manchild ways.
If you’re in denial, then you shouldn’t even be reading this, you’re not ready. When you can openly call yourself a manchild, then it’s time for you to take action. [Read: 16 types of guys girls just don’t want to date]
2. Let go of the nipple
You’ve been sucking on the tit for far too long. It’s time for you to let it go. If you want to know how to stop being a manchild, gain some independence.
Yes, relying on your mom or partner is comfortable, but it’s not helping anyone. Take responsibility, pay a phone bill, and start doing things on your own. [Read: Mature ways to begin facing life like the adult you are]
3. Understand your coping mechanisms
Everyone uses coping mechanisms to deal with their personal issues. If you’re a manchild, you may depend on TV and video games to help cope with your issues.
Listen, gluing yourself to the TV or playing an entire weekend of Fortnite isn’t going to take you away from the reality of your life.
4. Take responsibility
Of course, you don’t want to hear it, but you’ve been playing the victim for far too long. It’s time for you to take ownership of your actions. [Read: The alpha male – 65 traits of a real alpha man and true secrets to be one yourself]
Instead of blaming everyone else for your problems, and you do since you’re a manchild, it’s time to see how you played a role in your life. Because it’s not everyone else’s fault for how things turned out.
5. Stop being entitled
When you’re a child, you don’t need to work, you don’t need to pay bills, and no one expects anything from you. When you’re a kid, everything is given to you. But the thing is you’re not a kid anymore, you’re an adult. People have expectations.
You have bills to pay and you need to earn the things you want to have. Fix your own problems, and work towards your own success. [Read: How to get rid of your bad sense of entitlement]
6. Leave your comfort zone
When you were a child, it was considered normal if you didn’t want to leave your comfort zone. Who honestly wants to leave their comfort zone? Exactly.
But as we get older, we learn that we have to leave our comfort zone to grow as a person. However, you’re still stuck in your comfort zone and you don’t want to leave.
Well, then you won’t be able to grow either. [Read: Emotional maturity – clues to know if someone has it]
7. Enough with the lying
Aren’t you getting tired of lying? Because we’re sure tired of hearing the excuses. You need to lie to cope with your problems but it’s not working to your advantage.
In the short term, sure, it may ease things, but in reality, all it’s doing is holding you back. Plus, you don’t need to be known as a liar.
8. Cut dependent relationships
That doesn’t mean that you need to stop talking to your mom, but you need to create boundaries. If you have a partner that is babying you, change the behavior. [Read: 41 rules to be a gentleman every girl would secretly dream of dating]
Some people crave babying another adult, but if you want to get out of this phase, then you need someone who values independence.
9. Learn simple skills
It’s not that you’re useless, but you probably never did the dishes or cleaned the toilet bowl. Now, no one likes doing this but these are things you need to do when you grow up.
If you want to know how to stop being a manchild, learn how to do things around the house and actually do them. Clean the bathroom, learn how to do the laundry, and start to take pride in taking care of yourself.
10. Keep your word
When you say you’re going to do something, do it. A manchild is someone who only talks with no action. And when you bail out on a plan, there’s always an excuse.
When it gets tough, you decide to give up and come up with a reason why. But that needs to stop. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. [Read: How to court a woman – the meaning and 23 gentlemanly ways to woo her]
11. Focus on being empathetic
If you’re a manchild, you’re mostly concerned about your own well-being. You may have a partner, but you rarely ask them how their day was or how they’re feeling.
Instead, everything is about you and what’s going on in your life. But if you want to be a man, start giving a shit about people other than yourself. [Read: Why empathy is so important in relationships]
12. Get real
Time to wake up. You may have wanted to be a race car driver when you were a kid but now you’re twenty-five, and that’s not going to happen.
You probably don’t want to get a “real job,” but sitting on your couch isn’t productive. It’s time to get real with reality.
13. Give more in bed
If someone asks your partner if you’re giving, they’ll probably say no. Usually, if you’re a manchild, you’re not overly giving in bed. Instead, you focus on receiving pleasure. But it’s time to give. [Read: Signs you’re the selfish one in the relationship]
14. You’re not going to change overnight
Everyone would like to change overnight. Though you can change your behavior overnight, committing to the change is an entirely different story.
You’re going to make mistakes, feel vulnerable, and sometimes, you’ll want to quit and go back to being a manchild. It takes time. [Read: 15 things immature men do that hurt them bad]
15. Talk to a therapist
This isn’t something that you’re going to overcome with ease. You’re going to go through many struggles and obstacles when it comes to this. But you don’t need to do this alone.
Talking to a therapist can help give you the tools and a safe space to talk and work on your manchild issues. Because honestly, these issues aren’t shallow, they go way back.
[Read: How to grow up and face life like an adult]
Now that you know the signs of a manchild and had your immature man read this article, it’s time to make some changes for the better, don’t you think? Of course you do, but hopefully, now he will too.
The post Immature Men: 53 Manchild Signs, Why He’s a Pain to Date & Ways to Help Him is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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