Want to drive a man crazy by missing you? These secrets will keep you in his thoughts and make him long for you regardless of your relationship situation.
Whether you’re going through a breakup, a temporary separation, or you’re not on talking terms with a guy friend, you may start to wonder how to make a man miss you.
Whether you’re trying to win the breakup game or just want to put your thoughts at peace, we assure you this is a normal feeling.
In fact, it makes you human to want a man to miss you the same way you miss him. However, it can be tricky to decipher the signs he is in the blues over you because men give all kinds of mixed signals.
You’ve probably been trying to get his attention, like posting sad songs on Facebook or a “look at me” inspirational quote on your Instagram story. Or perhaps, even a thirst trap? But that’s not going to do the trick.
You’ll first need to understand the psychology behind the yearning feelings to expand your understanding of his emotions. Then, we’ll teach you all about the hows and whens of getting a man to miss you. [Read: How to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
Why does anyone miss anyone? The psychology unveiled
Picture this: You’re binge-watching your favorite show, and right at the cliffhanger, your Wi-Fi decides to ditch you. Annoying, right?
Well, believe it or not, our brains often treat relationships in the same way—as something hard to forget when it’s paused at a ‘cliffhanger.’
So, how exactly do our minds process absence, and what triggers that “Ugh, I miss him” feeling?
1. Brief on attachment theory
Do you have that one friend who won’t leave a party without you? Or that other friend who needs a week’s notice to even catch up? That’s attachment theory at work, folks! According to this model, there are mainly three types of attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant.
a. Secure attachment: These individuals are comfortable with distance and intimacy. If you’re securely attached, you know he’ll miss you just enough to value you more.
b. Anxious attachment: Think of this as the ‘double-texter.’ Too much absence might make them anxious and doubt the relationship, leading to an overflow of texts like, “Do you still like me?”
c. Avoidant attachment: These are your ‘lone wolves.’ They won’t show it, but a well-timed absence can make even them realize the importance of your presence. [Read: Fearful-avoidant attachment style – what it is, 39 signs & how to deal with It
2. The Zeigarnik effect
Have you ever had that “almost” relationship? You know, the one that was so close to being official but never got there. Well, those are the hardest to forget, thanks to the Zeigarnik effect.
This psychological principle suggests that people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed tasks.
In the love department, this is why ‘what could’ve been’ often circles in our minds longer than ‘what actually was.’
3. The role of dopamine
Picture the last time you received an unexpected text from him. It felt like winning a mini-lottery, didn’t it? That’s dopamine, the ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter, making a cameo in your love story.
When something good happens unexpectedly, like a surprise date or an unplanned call, dopamine levels shoot up, making you associate that joyful feeling with that person. [Read: What is dopamine? The dopest pleasure pill inside of you]
When does a man start to miss you?
It’s a common misconception that the man always moves on faster from the relationship than the woman does.
After a separation, men are typically stoic, tuff, and non-emotional while women stay in bed, cry into a tub of ice cream, and binge romcoms, right? Wrong.
Just because your guy isn’t posting on his Instagram story about the latest romance movie he cried to doesn’t mean he isn’t missing you. Just like women, men jump to distractions just to avoid their emotions. What those distractions may be is another can of worms.
So when does a man start to miss you? Immediately. He just doesn’t show it in the same way a woman does. [Read: 24 subtle signs he misses you badly every time you aren’t around]
How to make a man miss you?
If you’re wondering how to make a man miss you, it’s a tricky question to answer. If he hasn’t outright told you he misses you, you’re likely in a stage of confusion, wondering if he even misses you at all.
You don’t have to sit on your couch and wait for the day he misses you. Instead, you can do a few of these things, and chances are, you will get a reaction from him that proves he misses you… and misses you badly!
Instead of hoping they’re missing you or waiting for a sign, make it happen. Let’s show you how.
1. Whatever you’re doing—stop
You’ve been posting an abnormally large amount of selfies, sad songs, and inspirational quotes. Stop. This doesn’t make anyone miss you. It just shows you’re feeling sorry for yourself, and it’ll be evident to everyone around you.
There are two kinds of people in the world: people who drown themselves in self-pity after a difficult situation, and people who use their pain to feel empowered.
Be the latter. A man won’t start to miss you if he sees that you’re clearly miserable. It just strokes his ego and shows him that the separation was the right choice for both of you. [Read: Why we intentionally hurt people we love and get pleasure out of it]
2. Stop trying so hard
If you’re wondering how to make a man miss you, it depends on him personally. But it’s for certain that he won’t miss you if you keep chasing after him.
If you look at your phone and notice you’ve texted him fifty times without a response, then you’ve crossed the line. People can smell desperation and attention-seeking behavior.
He’ll miss you when he sees that you’ve done the opposite, which is to withdraw yourself entirely from his life. Stop putting him as your sole priority and focus on yourself.
3. Don’t text him
You can’t make a man start to miss you if you’re constantly trying to get a hold of him. If he doesn’t respond to your texts or gives you a one-word answer, you need to stop.
The more you keep flooding him with texts and voice messages, the more likely he isn’t going to miss you. He’s just going to feel sorry for you because you look desperate and clingy – and no guy wants that. [Read: Should I text my ex or talk to them? 44 truths & signs to read your feelings]
4. Minimize your insecurities
Everyone has insecurities and flaws, but that doesn’t mean you should flaunt yours every chance you get. If your insecurities are too loud, he’ll be able to tell.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should pretend you’re perfectly fine and nothing affects you. But if you’re behaving in a needy or clingy way, it’ll push him further away.
5. Give space
If there’s a common denominator in all these tips, it’s to create space between you and him *in all aspects*.
How can someone even attempt to miss you when you’re constantly around? Whether this is an ex or a new flame, give them space to think about you.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Stop obsessing over whether he misses you or not, and just live your life. He’s not going to miss you if you keep smothering him with your presence every chance you get.
6. How does he emotionally react to you?
This is actually important when it comes to a man missing you. If you bring negative emotions into his life, then he’s not going to miss you.
Instead, leaving him alone will be a breath of fresh air. Especially if your relationship was so bad and toxic that separating felt like coming up for air. He might miss being with someone, but he won’t miss you specifically. Unfortunately, he connects you with negative feelings right now.
So even if he’s single and alone, he appreciates his new life that isn’t filled with fights, conflicts, and the stress your relationship would give him. [Read: How to be a more positive person and find the silver lining]
7. Don’t be the ‘yes’ girl
We know you want to show him you’re available, but that’s not going to make him want or miss you. You need to show him you’re busy.
In other words, have a life outside of wanting and missing him. Don’t keep following him around and pushing yourself to him – that isn’t attractive. [Read: How to say no – stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]
8. Create some mystery
If you’re wondering when and how to make a man miss you, it’s when you no longer reveal everything to him. You need to bring back some mystery, even if you know each other well. The element of mystery will take you places when figuring out how to make a man start to miss you.
Yes, this also means being a little mysterious on social media. End any conversation you have with him first, don’t drag things on. It’ll keep him on his toes. [Read: How to be mysterious without going completely overboard in the role]
9. Know your worth
Showing that you know your worth and actually knowing your worth are two different things. Never let your insecurities overpower your self-worth.
Clinging onto them and being needy doesn’t depict your value. If this person is genuinely someone who values you, you won’t have to do much.
But if he’s not that into you, you’ll never make him truly miss you. This is what most women fail to get – you can’t change a guy’s mind by chasing after him. It doesn’t work that way.
10. Really move on
The most important thing on this list all comes down to moving on. You know how guys always seem to chase you when it’s too late and when you’ve moved on? That’s because you’re no longer doing certain things for them, and you’re focusing on you.
This makes you more confident, secure, and most importantly, happy in who you are and where you are. If you want him to miss you, move on. Of course, by then, you probably won’t want him.
11. Reverse psychology
It’s a long shot, but to make a man miss you, play the same tricks he does with you. Use reverse psychology to make him miss you.
Don’t be clingy, but be the exact opposite. Treat him the same way you did when you were still guarded and wary about him. [Read: Have you ever wondered how to use reverse psychology correctly?]
12. Don’t expect anything
Lowering your expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards, it means creating space for genuine interactions. When you free yourself from the cycle of expectation, you become more centered and less emotionally dependent on his actions.
From a psychological perspective, this approach disrupts the hedonic treadmill—a phenomenon where repeated experiences lose their emotional impact over time. So by not expecting the daily ‘good morning’ texts or surprise dates, you make room for each interaction to have its own unique emotional weight.
The absence of constant expectation can create an emotional gap he’ll notice and likely want to fill, making him miss you more when you’re not around.
13. Live your life
There’s nothing more attractive than someone who leads an engaging life outside of a relationship. By focusing on your interests, passions, and personal growth, you naturally become more intriguing to others.
This aligns well with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, where self-actualization—or becoming the best version of oneself—stands at the pinnacle of human fulfillment.
When you’re out living your life, it makes your time and attention a scarce resource, thereby increasing your value in his eyes.
The busier you are crafting your own life, the more he’ll find himself missing you during those times when you’re not readily available.
14. Use social media to your advantage
We’ve mentioned earlier that you need to restrict your social media usage to cope with your sadness and heartbreak. But the thing is, you can also use it to show how you’re really living your life.
Don’t flaunt your life, but make it natural. Hang out with your friends, focus on your career, get a gym subscription, and take a few pictures while you’re at it.
The worst feeling after separating from the man in your life is when he’s happier than you are. How to make a man start to miss you? Simply be happy in a way he doesn’t expect.
15. Don’t contact him at all
You might have heard of the no-contact rule often used when getting your ex back. Whether or not you plan to get him back or you just want to make him miss you, this is an effective tactic.
Don’t contact him in any way for a month or two. By the end of this, he’ll either be wondering why *especially if he believes you’re a clingy person*, or you’ll have moved on entirely and forgotten all about him.
Either way, it’s a win-win situation for you. [Read: The no contact rule and why it’s the most powerful gamble to get your ex back]
So, how do you make a man miss you?
Every guy is different from the next and every situationship may call for some tips over others. However, every guy starts to miss you when he sees you happy and doing better than before.
To even start the yearning process, he will need time to process his own feelings about your relationship situation. So give him space, stop bombarding his phone with messages, and don’t initiate any contact with him. After all, we can only miss things that are gone.
While you are on your mission to get your man to miss you, you will find that you have a lot more time to yourself now that you’re not clinging to him.
Take advantage of your open availability and engage in things you love to do. Keep yourself distracted with your favorite hobbies and activities and he’ll be out of your thoughts *and you into his* in no time.
[Read: When a guy says he misses you – What it means and 26 signs he genuinely means it]
If your goal is to make a man miss you, you’ll need to focus on yourself and create distance. Follow these tips and let him see how well off you are without him. Flaunt your amazing life without him and he will miss you like never before!
The post 18 Psychological Secrets to Make a Man Miss You and Long for You 24/7! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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