Can Men Be Vulnerable in Their Relationships?

Men are supposed to be strong. Right? But not emotionless, either. As a man, can you be vulnerable in your relationships… and if so, how much?

A reader commenting on my article on firefighting problems in relationships asks about showing vulnerability in a relationship:

I made the observation that women are not terribly aware of all the little mistakes that you make in life, because they are also human beings, who make mistakes all the time, and who happen to be unattractive many times as well. Doesnt it make you much more "human" to profess that you, as a human being, are not super strong and super attractive, and super high value all the time, and that you also do struggle, stand up again, and keep trying?

Where is the vulnerability in your approach? Is it such a deadly sin to tell a women in a relationship, that you are not happy when she flirts with other guys in front of your eyes, and that it makes you feel insecure, because you love her? Is that really "weak"? I feel its much more a profession that you as well have feelings, and that if she continues this behaviour, you will not be able to tolerate someone keep neglecting your feelings. Isnt "strong vulnerability", where you are aware of your own unattractiveness and your own flaws, a much more self-accepting and self-loving way of pursuing a relationship/marriage.

I'd be curous to hear your thoughts man. Thank you!

It’s a good question. I want to handle it with some delicacy, because, well, it is a delicate thing we’re discussing here. Namely, how much can you set your heart at a woman’s feet, and how much can you not?

How vulnerable can men be in their relationships?