How to Stop Attracting Fat Girls

Some guys are complete “fat girl magnets.” If you’re always attracting fat girls though, how do you stop? The solution is part mentality and part behavior.

Are you someone who always has fat girls throwing themselves at him?

It’s a pretty dangerous position to be in, honestly. All it takes is one fat chick throwing herself at you the wrong way for you to end up CRUSHED.

Jokes aside, attracting fat girls is something that happens to some guys, but not ALL guys.

We just had a conversation about it over on the forum. Among comments from some of our members:

fat chicks react very strongly and aggressively asking for number's, staring etc. Does it mean I have low sexual value? [A]m i [a] weirdo?

Same thing happens with me ..

I am an expert in this subject. … Update from last night: another potential pitfall is a broken bed frame.

Obviously, if you love those rolls of fat, you’ll have no need or desire to stop attracting fat girls.

But if it’s a problem for you, let me tell you right now: it’s totally doable to stop the big girls wanting you.

So, while we usually discuss creating attraction on this site, today let’s take a detour – and talk about breaking it.

Hero Instinct: What It Is & 23 Secrets to Trigger Its Power to Elevate Your Man

Know why you should tap into your man’s hero instinct and use it to make your relationship thrive like never before.

Do all men have a hero instinct? And if so, how can you bring it out?

Well, imagine walking down your local neighborhood street, and there’s a commotion. People are gathered around, phones out, capturing the moment.

You expect to see something dramatic, but instead, you find a guy, let’s call him Joe, trying to “rescue” a cat. Only, the cat isn’t trapped high up in a tree, it’s just two feet off the ground, lounging on the lowest branch, probably thinking, “Humans, am I right?”

Joe, with all his might and bravado, “saves” the cat, handing it to an overly grateful owner. The crowd disperses, some chuckling, others rolling their eyes, but Joe walks away with his chest puffed out, feeling like he just scaled Mount Everest.

This brings us to the fascinating concept of the hero instinct.

At its core, the hero instinct is the deep-seated drive many men feel to be a protector, a provider, and, well, a hero in their own life narrative. [Read: Damsel in distress – why men find women who ask for help irresistible]

It’s not necessarily about grand gestures or daring rescues. Sometimes, it’s as simple as feeling valued for grabbing that jar from the top shelf or giving sound advice on which Netflix series to binge next.

Now, for all the fierce, independent women out there *cue the empowering Beyoncé track in the background*, recognizing and occasionally tapping into this hero instinct in your man doesn’t mean you’re surrendering your strength or autonomy.

Instead, harnessing the hero instinct can be your secret weapon to elevating your relationship to new heights, fostering a bond that’s both deep and playful. [Read: Hero complex – what it is, 39 signs, and the psychology of “save the day” syndrome]

The Science Behind the Hero Instinct

The concept of the hero instinct didn’t just emerge from a romanticized fairy tale or a Hollywood script. It’s rooted in both modern observations and ancient evolutionary drivers.

Enter James Bauer, a renowned relationship coach and author. Bauer peeled back the layers of the complex male psyche and spotlighted a man’s deep-seated desire to feel indispensable and valued in a relationship.

While we’ve evolved in countless ways, there’s still a primitive part of men that yearns for a role of significance. [Read: The alpha male – 65 traits of a real alpha man and true secrets to be one yourself]

This isn’t to say every man wants to be the next Superman or Thor *though let’s admit, wielding a hammer that only you can lift sounds fun*.

It’s more about feeling like they have a meaningful place in the grand scheme of their relationships and life.

Taking a trip down evolutionary lane, males have often been positioned as protectors and providers. [Read: Sigma male – who they are and 56 traits to split them from the alpha and beta]

This was not just about physical strength but also about securing resources and ensuring the safety and well-being of their family or tribe.

Fast forward to today, and while we’re no longer fending off wild beasts *unless you count that spider in the bathtub*, the essence of that role still lingers.

Now, if we were to sift through the sands of psychological theories, we’d stumble upon Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

This famed pyramid highlights the progression of human needs, from the most basic, like food and safety, to the more abstract, like self-esteem and self-actualization.

Our hero instinct snugly fits into this, emphasizing the desire for respect, appreciation, and a sense of purpose.

The How-To Guide: Triggering the Hero Instinct

So, you’re side-eyeing your guy, thinking, “How do I transform this everyday Joe into my personal superhero?” [Read: How to attract an alpha male – 20 secrets to date him and keep him hooked]

No, you don’t need a magic wand or a mysterious potion. Tapping into the hero instinct is all about understanding and action.

Here’s how to do it.

1. Making him feel appreciated for the things he does

We all crave acknowledgment. By appreciating the small gestures, you’re signaling to him that his efforts aren’t going unnoticed.

Each thank you, each genuine smile when he helps out, taps directly into his hero instinct, making him feel valued and important. [Read: 44 Warm ways to say “I appreciate you” and show appreciation without words]

2. Letting him know you trust and rely on him

Trust is a cornerstone in relationships. By showing him that you count on him, you’re allowing the hero instinct to flourish.

It’s not about playing the damsel in distress but rather giving him moments where he feels he can step up and be there for you.

3. Seeking his advice or expertise

Sure, you could ask Siri, Alexa, or Google. But sometimes, asking him can make all the difference. It subtly communicates that you respect his judgment, providing a boost to his hero instinct.

4. Allowing him space to be protective and supportive

It’s not about undermining your independence but creating an environment where he feels his protective and supportive nature is appreciated. [Read: 24 Ways to be a strong independent woman all men love and desire]

This aligns directly with the hero instinct, encouraging a dynamic where both partners feel loved and valued.

5. Showing admiration for his passions and ambitions

Every hero has a dream, a mountain they want to conquer. By admiring his aspirations, you’re not just rooting for his success, but you’re also telling him he’s got your full support in his hero’s journey.

6. Engaging in shared challenges

Whether it’s trying a new sport, solving a puzzle, or taking on a DIY project, facing challenges together can reinforce his role as a protector and collaborator, all while nourishing the hero instinct. [Read: 33 Best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]

7. Value his opinions in decision-making

While it’s essential to have your voice and stand by your choices, occasionally seeking his opinion or making decisions collaboratively can make him feel indispensable, resonating with his hero instinct.

8. Encourage his leadership skills

Whether it’s planning a weekend getaway or deciding on a new show to binge, letting him take the lead sometimes can work wonders. This gesture subtly reinforces his role, allowing the hero instinct to play out naturally.

9. Verbal affirmations to puff his *already* puffy chest

Every so often, it doesn’t hurt to lay it on thick with words. A simple “You’re amazing,” “I’m so lucky to have you,” or a playful “Look at my hero!” can work wonders. [Read: 47 Best compliments for guys and how to do it subtly and make him desire you]

Verbal affirmations are like little magic spells that can make his chest swell with pride *and possibly make him strut around like a rooster owning the barnyard*.

Regularly affirming his worth, both in private moments and even in front of others, can be a direct boost to his hero instinct. And who knows? Maybe he’ll start sporting a cape just for the fun of it!

Why Would You Want to Trigger His Hero Instinct?

So, you’ve got the lowdown on the hero instinct, but you might be wondering, “Why even bother?” [Read: Divine masculine – what it means, 37 qualities, signs and secrets to awaken it]

Apart from having a partner who occasionally feels like he’s got a superhero cape fluttering invisibly behind him, there are genuine reasons to tap into this primal drive

1. Strengthening emotional connections

Engaging the hero instinct means you’re not just seeing your partner, but you’re really seeing him – recognizing his deeper needs and desires. This creates a bond of understanding and mutual respect.

When he feels acknowledged in this unique way, it often leads to more profound emotional intimacy. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

2. Enhancing commitment and relationship satisfaction

When a man feels like he plays an indispensable role in your life, he’s more likely to be committed. The hero instinct, when triggered, can create a sense of purpose within the relationship, leading to greater satisfaction for both partners.

3. Spicing things up!

Look, life and relationships can sometimes fall into a predictable pattern.

By tapping into the hero instinct, you’re introducing a playful, exciting dynamic. It’s not about damsels and knights but about recognizing and valuing each other’s roles.

4. Get the princess treatment

Now, for the ladies! Engaging his hero instinct often means he’s more attentive, more present, and more eager to make you happy. [Read: Pillow princess – what does it really mean to be labeled as one?]

It’s like having your own personal knight, minus the shining armor, who’s ready to ensure you’re treated with love and care.

5. Boosting mutual appreciation

While the hero instinct focuses on his need to feel essential, triggering it also means you’re fostering an environment of appreciation.

It’s a two-way street. As he feels more valued, he’s more likely to reciprocate that appreciation, creating a beautiful loop of mutual admiration. [Read: 50 Sweet, caring ways to make your man feel special, appreciated, and loved]

6. Creating a supportive partnership

When he feels like a hero, he’s often more motivated to be supportive and helpful. Whether it’s being your sounding board, helping with challenges, or just being a pillar of strength, activating the hero instinct ensures a more harmonious and supportive partnership.

7. Building a secure foundation

A relationship where both partners feel valued and understood forms a solid foundation.

By acknowledging his hero instinct, you’re contributing to creating a stable, secure base for both of you to thrive. [Read: 38 Signs and traits of a happy, healthy relationship and what it should look like]

The Dos and Don’ts

Alright, before you don your director’s hat and begin the grand play of the hero instinct, pause for a beat. It’s essential to tread wisely because, like all things potent, there’s a right and a not-so-right way to go about it.

1. Do: Make sure it’s genuine

The hero instinct, powerful as it may be, is like a fine-tuned instrument. It can pick up on insincerity. Ensure that your appreciation and gestures come from a place of truth.

After all, no one, be it a hero or not, enjoys fake praise. It’s like getting a trophy you didn’t earn; it might look good for a moment, but it feels hollow. [Read: Transactional relationship – what it is, 37 signs and ways to make it more genuine]

2. Don’t: Overdo it to the point where it feels like a performance

While recognizing his hero instinct is beneficial, turning every moment into a staged superhero scene can be draining and inauthentic. It can lead to both of you feeling disconnected from the relationship’s true essence.

3. Do: Maintain a balance

While it’s great to make him feel like a hero, it’s equally crucial to keep your independence intact.

A relationship is a dance of two unique individuals, and while the hero instinct is about making him feel valued, it shouldn’t overshadow your needs, desires, and individuality. [Read: How to balance your career, social life, and dating life]

4. Don’t: Allow it to evolve into an unhealthy dependency

While the hero instinct can foster closeness, there’s a fine line between healthy interdependence and complete reliance. Be vigilant. If you find that you’re leaning too heavily on him for every decision or emotional need, it might be time to reassess.

5. Do: Use it as a tool for connection, not manipulation

The aim is to strengthen the bond and understand each other better, not to get your way or manipulate outcomes. The hero instinct should be a means to enrich the relationship, not exploit it.

6. Don’t: Neglect other facets of the relationship

While the hero instinct is a powerful component, relationships are multifaceted. [Read: 24 Sad signs and consequences of emotional neglect in a relationship]

There are other needs, desires, and dynamics at play. Ensure you’re attending to the entirety of the relationship, not just this one aspect.

7. Do: Remember that every individual is different

While many men might resonate with the hero instinct, it’s essential to gauge how strongly it’s present in your partner and adjust your approach accordingly. [Read: Masculinity vs. femininity – 27 traits, stereotypes, and the unique strengths]

What Truly Makes a Man Feel Like a Hero is the Person by His Side

In a world where superheroes don’t always wear capes, sometimes, what truly makes a man feel like a hero is the person by his side. [Read:

It’s not about grand gestures, mythical quests, or saving the world from impending doom. In the modern age, heroes are made in the little moments: a heartfelt thank you, a shared laugh, or the simple act of understanding.

[Read: 25 Common male insecurities men have that women have no idea about]

Remember that the hero instinct isn’t about creating a superhero. It’s about recognizing the inherent desire in someone to be their best self for you, and for them.

The post Hero Instinct: What It Is & 23 Secrets to Trigger Its Power to Elevate Your Man is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Tactics Tuesdays: Party Pooper Girl Inoculation

Party pooper girls can ruin your seductions – not to mention your good mood. Yet with the right inoculation, you can protect your interactions and image.

Sometimes you’re going to find yourself talking to one or more girls who are just total party poopers.

They’re low energy, in bad moods, don’t respond to your humor, or otherwise act all prickly.

Now, what you don’t want to do is get caught up in these girls’ bad moods. But you also don’t want to get caught trying to change their moods for them either. That’s not your job, nor is it a good use of your time and energy.

So what do you do with these party pooper girls? If you already approached them, only to discover too late that they’re a total drag, you need some way to either get things going with their rest of their group, or else get out of there without it feeling like you got the wind sucked out of you.

The solution is party pooper girl inoculation – measures you take to firmly have a handle on the frame in the face of girls who are no fun.

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34 Secrets to Stop Being Horny, Relieve Sexual Tension & More Must-Knows

Do you have a hard time controlling your sexual urges? If you want to know how to stop being horny, we have every single technique you can use ASAP!

If you’re horny, you have sex, and if you have no partner, you masturbate. But what if you don’t want to resort to those two methods? Well, sex and masturbation are great ways to relieve sexual tension and reduce your carnal urges. But there are other ways to stop being horny too!

Feeling horny is a natural body response we all know so well. All people experience it—even some asexuals *who may prefer to masturbate over banging someone else*.

But when you’re feeling so horny that every sturdy table leg or the corner of a table start looking like a perfect specimen of the opposite sex, maybe that’s a good time to wonder what you can do to stop being horny.

[Read: High sex drive in women – The signs and causes of high libido and what to do]

Firstly, Sex and Arousal Aren’t Bad Things!

Ah, let’s get this out of the way to begin with. Many people feel terrible guilt each time they feel themselves getting aroused.

As much as you’ve heard someone tell you that feeling horny is a bad thing, it’s not. All of us experience it, and it’s just another sign that your body is functioning, and everything down there is in perfect order.

So if you feel bad for getting wet or hard, relax, and just remember that it’s nothing to be ashamed of!

[Read: 28 thirsty signs you’re sexually frustrated, horny and need sex ASAP]

Why Are We Even Horny?

Humans have forever been puzzled and intrigued by the mysteries of desire. If you’ve ever pondered, “Why am I always so horny?”, you’re not alone.

Before we delve into ways to stop being horny or relieve sexual tension, it’s essential to understand the machinery behind these urges.

1. The limbic brain: Headquarters of desire

The limbic system, often termed our emotional brain, is the epicenter of our feelings, including desire. Key structures like the hypothalamus and amygdala play pivotal roles.

Hypothalamus: This little nugget regulates hormones by communicating with the pituitary gland. These hormones, in turn, affect our sexual desires. Feeling a rush of excitement? Thank your hypothalamus.

Amygdala: Responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory. It’s the amygdala that might remind you of that ex when a particular song plays, but it doesn’t mean you should dial them up!

2. Neurotransmitters: Chemical messengers of lust

Dopamine: Often dubbed the ‘pleasure chemical,’ and for good reason, this is a chemical you want in your system. Elevated dopamine levels can make you feel good and increase the urge for sexual activity. It’s dopamine that gives you that ‘high’ when you’re around someone you’re attracted to.

Serotonin: Regulates mood, and low levels can sometimes lead to increased libido. It’s a balance of dopamine and serotonin that sets the stage for how horny you feel.

3. Evolutionary perspective: Propagation but with caution!

From an evolutionary standpoint, our primal purpose boils down to passing on our genes. We’re biologically wired to seek mates and reproduce.

But don’t worry, evolution also gave us the neocortex, the brain’s rational part, which tells us, “Maybe texting the ex at 2 a.m. isn’t the wisest idea.” [Read: 23 ways to get someone to have sex with you, be it a stranger or a friend]

Why Am I Always So Horny?

While it’s common to experience these feelings, understanding the factors driving this heightened state of horniness can be enlightening.

Let’s explore the reasons behind why your sex drive might be through the roof.

1. Hormonal fluctuations

Testosterone in men and estradiol *a form of estrogen* in women can significantly influence libido. Women may notice an uptick in desire during ovulation, while men might find fluctuations during the day.

2. A fresh romantic interest

When you find someone new who tickles your fancy, neurotransmitters go haywire, prepping your body for intimacy.

This is essentially the brain’s way to ensure the species goes on. But remember, sex isn’t always about procreation—sometimes, it’s just recreation! [Read: 28 thirsty signs you’re sexually frustrated, horny, and need sex ASAP]

3. Natural variances in libido

Some people biologically have a higher sex drive. Factors like genetics, upbringing, and personal experiences can play a part.

If you’ve always been a naturally more fired-up person, then there’s no point in worrying about if there’s something wrong with you now.

4. Overstimulation

Engaging in frequent masturbation can, paradoxically, lead to increased sexual desire. This is due to the release of neurotransmitters that might lead you to crave more of that dopamine high. [Read: Chronic masturbation – 30 side-effects, signs, and ways to stop masturbating]

How To Know If You’re Too Horny and Need To Fix It

Before you let that shameful voice in your head tell you that it’s wrong to feel horny, shut it up right now! Horniness and lust are perfectly normal feelings to have, even if you don’t have someone to release those feelings with *wink, wink*.

But as with everything else, there is such a thing as too much. There’s feeling horny enough to masturbate frequently, and then there’s too much horniness.

Think you actually have a problem and your libido is affecting your life? Look out for these signs:

1. You’re not able to concentrate on anything else.

2. You’re stressed, and can’t relax unless you have sex or masturbate.

3. You’re experiencing relationship problems, because of your unusual demand for sex.

4. You spend more of your time looking for a way to release your sexual tension.

5. You’re addicted to porn or masturbation.

[Read: Why am I so horny? 21 signs, reason, hypersexuality and when to seek help]

How To Stop Being Horny and Calm Your Mind

If you genuinely are worried about your feelings, and sex or masturbation just aren’t scratching that itch, there are ways to stop being horny and calm yourself. Give these tips a try, and you’ll achieve a calmer state of mind soon.

1. Take a shower

The old wives’ tale goes: when in heat, take a dip. However, the effect of a cold shower against horniness varies for each individual.

Some say it helps calm them down. Some say it’s “meh,” and a few believe that it’s actually counter-productive as standing wet, naked, and caressing yourself all over invites more of those urges in. Still, it’s worth a try.

Efficacy rating: 50%

[Read: 20 physical signs of female arousal to recognize a girl feeling horny]

2. Exercise

Someone leaning towards Freudian psychology or even New Age philosophy would tell you that getting strong sexual urges is the effect of pent-up sexual energy that needs release.

And of course, the perfect way to release it is by way of a strenuous physical activity none other than sexual intercourse.

But instead of intercourse, divert that energy by doing other forms of exercise. So the next time you feel horny, jump into your tracksuit and do twenty laps, hit the gym, or pour it all out on the punching bag.

This helps you release that tension and distract your brain from your other urges. And you’ll be too tired after anyway.

Efficacy rating: 80%

[Read: 22 horny signs to tell if a guy is turned on and is aroused as because of you]

3. Sexual transmutation

Want to convert all of that sexual energy into something more positive and life-goals-oriented? Enter sexual transmutation.

When you have a certain amount of sexual energy building up, it can be difficult to think straight. It can be a hindrance to productivity and make it hard to get anything done without errors. However, when you harness the power of that sexual energy and pour it into something else, the results might just surprise you. 

The word ‘transmutation’ basically means that you’re taking one type of energy and turning it into something else. So, don’t let this energy irritate you— take that sexual energy and turn it into creative energy, as one example! [Read: Sexual transmutation – How to harness your horniness and convert it into another energy]

Efficacy: 40-100%

4. Change your diet

Just how aphrodisiacs supposedly increase your libido, certain foodstuffs do the opposite when you consume them.

However, take note that these don’t work like medication that takes effect an hour later. You might need to gradually incorporate these into your diet if you feel you’re oversexed. [Read: Nom-nom, no-nos – 17 foods to avoid before having sex]

Carbonated drinks – drinks with more sugar than water in their formula make you dehydrated and feel less pleasant than normal. So if you feel horny, chug a little bit of the unhealthy drink.

Canned foods – high levels of sodium and potassium to keep these canned foods somewhat fresh not only guarantee to make you lose your sex drive, but they also make a man’s spunk taste horrible.

Soy and cheese – soybean products are a major source of phytoestrogen while cheese gives off a large amount of xenoestrogen. What do they do? They screw up your hormonal balance which manages your libido. So if you want to stop being horny, gorge on these.

Fats and oils – good old grease may taste good, but it also floods the body with a lot of free radicals screwing up the body’s hormonal balance. Feeling horny? Treat yourself to a good double bacon cheeseburger.

Alcohol and coffee – combine both in some sort of a speedball and you instantly get limp. Alcohol is often thought to be a form of aphrodisiac, but it does the opposite. It screws up your mental state and sex drive. [Read: True sex talk – alcohol’s effect on sex and your libido]

Efficacy rating: 80% but use at your own risk.

5. Get it out of the way—masturbate

Sometimes, you just don’t have a choice. Your mind is foggy, you can’t think straight, your blood’s flowing through your loins and your brain’s losing blood fast.

If you’re having a very hard time concentrating on anything, don’t hate yourself for it. Just walk into a private space and flick your bean or choke your chicken.

There’s always another day and another opportunity to control your sexual urges.

Efficacy: 100%

6. Kill the mood with anything counter-erotic

People, sometimes you get horny because kinky thoughts run through your mind. Just like bad sex, you can put your urges at bay by doing stuff that usually kills the mood for you when you’re about to go at it.

Watch, read, or listen to comedy – laughter is good except in the bedroom. Watching your favorite sitcom realigns your focus away from sex.

Or you can choose something more depressing – we’ve been depressed at some point in our life. And one thing for sure is sex is the last thing you’ll be worried about when you’re feeling blue. The brain parts that function when you’re depressed shuts off the other parts making you horny. [Read: 41 best sad movies to heal your broken heart, make you cry, and feel better]

Even scary stuff– a quick jump scare scene definitely deflates your boner. Try it!

Efficacy rating: 70-80%

7. Physical pain

\We’re not saying you should hurt yourself, but we’re just letting you know experiencing physical pain would definitely whisk that horniness away.

Unless you are a masochist, that is. It may feel silly just imagining it but if you don’t mind giving yourself a pinch or a slap *and if you’re desperate enough*, give it a try. [Read: 37 health benefits of masturbation, bad side effects, and other must-knows]

Efficacy rating: 40%

8. Meditation

Feeling horny is a state of mind as much as it is a bodily function. As Buddhism teaches, one can control desires and urges by practicing mental discipline through meditation.

You don’t need to practice Buddhism altogether. The basic requirement for meditation is simply a quiet and peaceful space where you empty your mind and let go of your desires. [Read: Why am I so horny? 21 signs, reasons, hypersexuality, and when to seek help]

Efficacy rating: 75%

9. Schedule a time for it

If you want to know how to stop being horny and find that controlling your urges is extremely hard, then maybe you can start by scheduling a time for it each day.

By doing this, you can distract yourself even if the thought pops up because you aren’t stopping yourself from masturbating. You’re just pushing it into its own place in your schedule.

Efficacy rating: 0% because you’re not solving anything there, and just prolonging the inevitable. But it’s a start!

10. Engage in cognitive distractions

Distract the mind by engaging in activities that demand cognitive attention, such as puzzles, reading a dense book, or delving into strategy games. The key is to occupy the brain and channel its energy away from erotic thoughts.

By immersing yourself in intellectually stimulating tasks, the brain is less focused on sensations and more on problem-solving and critical thinking.

This shift in concentration can effectively help relieve sexual tension, offering a mental reprieve from those persistent urges.

Efficacy rating: 60%

11. Practice mindfulness

Although meditation is a type of mindfulness, integrating mindfulness throughout daily activities can also be beneficial. Focusing on the current moment and being fully present can help reduce the intensity of distracting urges. [Read: How to be chill and learn to live a happier life as a result]

Efficacy rating: 75%

12. Deep breathing

Take a breather, quite literally! Dive into some breathing exercises—think of it as giving your lungs a mini workout. Take a deep inhale, play a quick game of ‘hold-your-breath’ *just for a few seconds*, then let it all out, pretending you’re cooling off a big plate of your grandma’s freshly baked cookies.

This simple act doesn’t just give your lungs a good stretch, but it also helps your body and mind chill out, making it an easy way to relieve sexual tension and stop being horny.

Efficacy rating: 40%

13. Limit stimulants

Decrease your intake of caffeine and sugar. This can help in lowering overall physiological arousal, potentially reducing feelings of horniness.

Efficacy rating: 50%

14. Avoid triggers

Identify and understand what tends to trigger these feelings for you. It could be certain types of music, movies, or even specific places or scents. Being aware and either limiting exposure or preparing mentally can assist in managing your undesirable response. [Read: 50 best steamy romance movies to get you both hot, naughty, and in the mood]

Efficacy rating: 90% if you can fully understand and avoid your triggers.

15. Sleep well

Ever noticed how everything, including that leftover pizza, looks more appealing when you’re sleep-deprived? Well, missing out on Zzz’s can crank up those horny feelings, thanks to our body’s sneaky chase for that feel-good buddy, dopamine.

So, if you’re aiming to hit the ‘stop being horny’ button, maybe try hitting the snooze button first. Tucking in early or snagging that extra hour of dreamland can make a world of difference in keeping those urges in check!

Efficacy rating: 75%

16. Talk about it

As daunting as it might sound, sharing feelings of persistent arousal with a trusted individual, whether a friend, partner, or therapist, can offer a sense of relief. Sometimes vocalizing feelings can decrease their intensity.

Efficacy rating: 100% especially if you work alongside a therapist to curb your desires

17. Progressive Muscle Relaxation *PMR*

Progressive muscle relaxation is like giving your muscles a brief “stretch and relax” routine. Start at your feet and move upwards, focusing on each muscle group. For each set, tense the muscles as hard as you can for a few moments and then release, allowing them to fully relax.

It’s like letting each muscle have its mini workout followed by a well-deserved break. By systematically addressing each group, you help your body release pent-up tension.

As a bonus? This relaxation can be a handy tool in your toolkit when you’re looking to curb those heightened feelings of horniness.

Efficacy rating: 40% – this could either calm you down or rile you up.

Myths vs. Facts

When it comes to understanding our bodies and desires, there’s a sea of misinformation out there.

Navigating this realm can be confusing, especially when you’re trying to stop being horny or seeking ways to relieve sexual tension. Let’s set the record straight on some widespread myths:

Myth 1: Blue balls are life-threatening

Fact: While “blue balls” refer to a real sensation of testicular discomfort due to prolonged arousal without release, it’s by no means life-threatening. It can be uncomfortable, but it won’t cause lasting damage. [Read: Blue balls – why guys get epididymal hypertension and how to cure it ASAP]

Myth 2: Everyone’s doing it, all the time

Fact: People have varied sex drives. Just because it seems like “everyone’s doing it” doesn’t mean they are, or that you should feel pressured. Everyone’s rhythm is unique.

Myth 3: Men think about sex every seven seconds

Fact: The idea that people, especially men, think about sex every seven seconds isn’t backed by scientific evidence.

While it varies from person to person, it’s nowhere near as frequent as this myth suggests. [Read: How men think about relationships and 18 secrets on what they want from love]

Myth 4: Masturbation will make you go blind or grow hair on your palms

Fact: Old tales to scare people from self-exploration! Masturbation is a natural activity that many people engage in. It doesn’t cause blindness or any wild palm growth.

Myth 5: If you’re always horny, there’s something wrong with you

Fact: Sex drive varies greatly among individuals. While persistent arousal can be a sign of certain medical conditions, simply having a high libido doesn’t mean there’s something amiss.

Being Horny Is Not a Bad Thing

As a final thought, keep in mind that being too horny or looking for ways to stop being too horny is not a bad thing.

You see a problem in your life, and you’re trying to fix it. And for that, you deserve a pat on your back. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

[Read: Sex addict -30 subtle signs you’re turning into one and what to do about it]

Being horny is a good thing, but it should learn to know its place. If you do want to stop being horny, use these ways to convert sexual tension into something more positive and enjoyable for yourself.

The post 34 Secrets to Stop Being Horny, Relieve Sexual Tension & More Must-Knows is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

34 Things Guys Think About After You Sleep with Them for the First Time

Sex is a confusing topic. Are you moving too fast, or too slow? And what on earth do guys think about during and after you sleep with them? We have the answers for you.

There you are, in the throes of passion, and suddenly you’re struck by a thought: “Is he reminiscing about our time together, or is his mind wandering the streets of ancient Rome?” From “What do guys really think about during sex?” to “What’s on their mind right after sleeping with me?”, these are age-old conundrums that many of us have puzzled over.

And while he might not exactly be reflecting on the fall of The Roman Empire during the act, it wouldn’t hurt to know what’s truly going on in that enigmatic brain of his, right?

Plus, there’s always that lingering post-coital tristesse—a chic term for post-sex blues—to consider. Time to unravel these mysteries!

[Read: Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? And how should you handle it]

The Brain and Sex: A Quick Dive

You might think that what guys think about during sex is solely in the realm of the steamy, passionate, or maybe even the random *like, “Did I leave the oven on?”*. However, there’s a whole cocktail of chemicals playing puppeteer behind those thoughts.

1. The role of oxytocin and vasopressin

Remember that overwhelming feeling of wanting to cuddle after an intimate moment? That’s oxytocin, often dubbed the “cuddle hormone”, doing its magic.

When a guy is in the midst of some steamy action, or right after, this hormone surges, promoting feelings of connection and attachment.

So if he’s suddenly all about the snuggles and feels more connected to you after the deed, you’ve got oxytocin *and its buddy vasopressin* to thank. [Read: Chemistry of love – how hormones make you feel love the way you do]

2. Dopamine’s dash

If he seems to be in his own world of bliss during the act, lost in the pleasure of the moment—that’s dopamine doing its thing. Dopamine is like that friend who throws the best parties, it’s all about pleasure and reward.

So when you catch that dazed look on his face, understand that it’s this chemical making him feel on top of the world, even if his next thought borders on the lines of, “Wow, this feels amazing!” [Read: 34 passionate signs he’s making love to you and not just having sex]

3. The refractory period

Now, this is an interesting one. Ever noticed how after an intense session, he just wants to nap or seems momentarily detached?

This is the refractory period in action. It’s essentially the brain and body telling him, “Alright, champ. Take a breather.” In scientific terms, it’s a physiological response that makes him need a little downtime post-climax.

So if you’ve ever wondered what guys think about after sleeping with you, sometimes it’s just a simple, “I need a moment to recharge.” [Read: Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? And what you need to do about it]

What’s on His Mind DURING the Deed

Before we delve into the post-coital conundrums, it’s essential to first address the burning question: what do guys think about during sex?

The mind is a labyrinth, especially in moments of intimacy. So, let’s peek into a few probable corridors of his thoughts:

1. “Am I doing it right?”

Performance anxiety isn’t just for the stage. Many men, regardless of experience, may often wonder if they’re hitting the right notes in the bedroom symphony. This stems from a desire to please their partner and ensure they’re having as good a time as he is.

Even in the height of passion, these thoughts can creep in, momentarily breaking the rhythm, all in the pursuit of mutual satisfaction. [Read: Sexual anxiety – 25 secrets to not feel nervous about having sex and enjoy it]

2. “This feels both intimate and exciting.”

The dance between intimacy and eroticism is a delicate one. Drawing from Jack Morin’s erotic equation, attraction mixed with a dash of challenges creates excitement.

So, when he’s lost in thoughts about the emotional closeness while also navigating the physical thrills, it’s this balance at play. He’s appreciating the bond you share while also reveling in the electric charge of the moment.

3. “Why am I suddenly thinking about that high school blunder?”

The human mind has a funny way of darting around, even in the most intimate moments. Sometimes, as he’s living in the present, a random memory from years ago might crash the party.

It’s not so much about the memory itself, but rather how the brain occasionally seeks distraction or unintentionally shifts focus. So, if he seems momentarily distant, it’s not you—it’s just his brain taking an unexpected detour.

4. “Is she enjoying this as much as I am?”

A big part of the male psyche during intimacy is gauging the pleasure and comfort of their partner. This thought often surfaces because he genuinely cares about mutual enjoyment.

He might be searching for verbal or non-verbal cues to ensure that the experience is just as pleasurable for you as it is for him. [Read: 22 signs he really enjoys having sex with you and thinks you’re AMAZING in bed]

5. “Should I switch things up or keep going?”

Change in the middle of the act can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, he wants to keep the rhythm if things are going well, but on the other, he wonders if introducing something new would heighten the pleasure.

This mental debate that guys often think about during sex is a juggle between comfort and exploration. [Read: How to pleasure a woman – 19 subtle things every girl craves in bed]

6. “I hope I can keep up the pace.”

Stamina and endurance can weigh on his mind, especially if he’s eager to ensure the experience lasts and is enjoyable for both.

This thought might lead him to mentally strategize or find ways to distract himself just enough to prolong the experience.

7. “Wow, she looks incredible!”

Sometimes, in the thick of it, he’s just awestruck by the beauty and allure of his partner. This appreciation is a mix of physical attraction and deep emotional connection, making him feel lucky and grateful for the intimate moment.

In other words, what do guys think about during sex? You! [Read: 24 sexy signs he thinks you’re hot and finds you incredibly attractive]

8. “Don’t come too soon!”

Ah, the age-old concern of many men! Timing is crucial, and he might be putting pressure on himself to ensure he doesn’t conclude the act prematurely.

This thought might circle back to performance anxiety, emphasizing his desire to make the moment memorable for both. [Read: Male orgasm – How it works and what men feel during and after ejaculation]

9. “Her body feels amazing.”

Physical touch and the sensation of skin against skin can evoke this genuine appreciation. Every curve, every contour might be silently celebrated as he touches or caresses during intimacy.

10. “Those lips are irresistible.”

Whether it’s about kissing or just admiring, the allure of lips can be quite captivating. He might be thinking about how soft they feel or how they taste, making him want to pull in for another kiss.

11. “Her boobs are so sexy.”

Yep, let’s admit it, many guys are enamored by breasts. Whether it’s their shape, size, or the way they move, they can be quite the focal point during intimate moments.

And this thought is a simple acknowledgment of that admiration. [Read: Why men like boobs – the psychology and 30 reasons why guys love breasts]

12. “I love the way she sounds.”

The soft moans, the sighs, the whispers—auditory cues can be incredibly arousing. He might purely be thinking about the sounds you make during sex, taking them as positive feedback and getting even more turned on. [Read: How to moan and look and sound sexy AF while making out with a guy]

13. “Her hair feels so good in my hands.”

For some, there’s something incredibly sensual about the texture and flow of hair. Whether he’s running his fingers through it or gripping it lightly, he’s marveling at how it feels.

14. “I can’t believe we’re doing this position!”

Trying something new or adventurous? He might be having a mini-celebration in his mind, appreciating the novelty and the shared experience!

Most of the time you don’t have to worry about what a guy is thinking about during sex because it’s often about what you’re doing. [Read: 18 sensuous and spicy sex positions from the easy classics to the adventurous]

What Do Guys Think After You Sleep With Them?

After the deed, his actions may be more confusing than reassuring. Or maybe he’s not acting any differently, but you just can’t stop yourself from worrying about what he’s thinking.

Either way, knowing what a guy is thinking about after you sleep with them can take a huge weight off your mind and let you know where the two of you stand.

While we can’t claim to be mindreaders, here are the most common thoughts that run through men’s minds post-coitus:

1. They just can’t believe how lucky they are

Firstly, most guys are pretty happy about the fact that they got you into bed. That’s always going to be the first thing they think. “I can’t believe how lucky I am!”—that’s basically all men think about after sex!

You might be panicking that they’re judging you, but that’s quite unlikely to be in their mind at this point, or if ever. So, with that in mind, we should all chill out a little and enjoy the moment more! [Read: 22 playful ways to make sex more fun and interesting when it’s boring and lame]

2. They panic about whether you want a commitment or not

Rather unsurprisingly, the second most common thought guys have after sex is panic that having slept with you once, you’re going to want a full-on commitment and relationship.

Of course, that’s probably not the case. Maybe you just wanted a good time for yourself, or maybe you’re happy to see how things go. [Read: Meaningless sex – what it is, how to have it, and 16 signs you’re ready for it]

They don’t see that side of it, and there is a fear that you’re going to want more than they’re ready for. That doesn’t mean that they’re never going to be ready, but if a commitment is what you want, give them a few more weeks!

3. They wonder if you enjoyed yourself

When you think about what guys think after you sleep with them, do you imagine them being as worried about your experience as you are about theirs?

Oftentimes, men ask themselves a myriad of questions: Did she enjoy it? Did she come? Was she impressed?

The guy is likely to be completely preoccupied with wondering whether you enjoyed yourself because that reflects directly on his skills between the sheets!

The fact that he’s wondering whether you liked it or not is a good thing because at least it shows that he’s keen to give you pleasure too. Some guys aren’t so bothered about this! [Read: How to be a perfect tease and keep a guy completely hooked after having sex with him]

4. They wonder if you’ll tell your friends and how complimentary you’ll be

Is she going to tell her friends? What will she say? Again, a lot of guys’ thoughts after sleeping with you are preoccupied with paranoia about whether you liked it and what you’re going to tell your friends.

So, if you’re wondering what guys think after you sleep with them, it’s probably more about his pride and performance than anything else. [Read: 46 subtle questions and signs to know a man will be really good in bed]

5. They probably don’t make as big a deal of it as you do

Reality check here. Yes, sex is a big deal to guys but probably not in the same way as you. You might dream about the beginning of something special and spend the rest of the following days thinking back over what happened. But your guy probably isn’t quite so obsessed with it.

Yes, they’re obsessed with what you thought and how they did, but they’re probably not making the same deal out of it as you. [Read: 38 secrets to stop overthinking, what it looks like, signs, and the fastest fixes] 

6. They’re not at all bothered about your reputation

If you slept with him quickly, e.g. after the first or second date, you might be worried that he thinks you’re easy.

Of course, we all know that women are allowed to do whatever they want with their sexuality. It doesn’t mean a thing, but that won’t necessarily stop you from worrying about what the guy thinks.

If you want some good news, what guys think about after you sleep with them has zero to do with your reputation. He doesn’t care. He’s just over the moon that he scored!

7. They really aren’t thinking about your stretch marks or lumpy bits

More good news is coming your way! Men really don’t care at all about the bodily imperfections you stress about.

Again, they’re just happy that you chose them and got to enjoy themselves with a wonderful woman. So, your body hangups really are in your own head. [Read: Turn offs for guys – 72 physical, dating, and sexual put offs all men notice and dislike]

8. They’re wondering if you’re thinking about someone else

Guys can be insecure sometimes too you know! He’s wondering whether you’re thinking about your ex or someone else that you have your eye on whilst you’re in bed with him.

Of course, he wants you to be thinking of only him, but he can’t help but wonder whether your mind is elsewhere.

The best way to reassure him? Moan his name a few times and that should let him know that the only person you’re thinking of right at that moment is him.

9. They want to tell their friends

Sorry, but it’s true! You might think that girls are the only ones who gossip, but you’re wrong! Guys gossip too, they just gossip about different things. When a guy sleeps with someone, they want to tell their friends and brag about their ability to score.

The good news? They probably won’t reveal your identity.

10. They’re wondering whether to ask you to try something freaky

Guys have fantasies too and they’re questioning whether it’s a good idea to mention something they want to try or not. They’re trying to figure out whether you look like you’d be up for something different or not. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]

11. They’re busy patting themselves on the back

If you’re busy worrying that he’s judging you for sleeping with him on the first date or whatever date it is, the chances are slim.

The reason? He’s far too busy patting himself on the back for a job well done and he can’t quite believe that he actually managed to get you into bed. Even the most seemingly arrogant guys out there still give themselves a congratulatory nod after they’ve done the deed.

12. They’re wondering whether you had an orgasm

Some guys just assume that they have the sexual prowess to make their partner orgasm ten times a night. However, most guys are a little more down-to-earth than that.

He’s probably wondering whether you got yours or not and how many times. He might even think back over it a few times to try and identify when the sweet spot might have happened! [Read: 57 signs, whys, and ways to tell if she’s faking an orgasm or really coming]

13. They’re wondering whether they should stay over or leave

If he’s at yours, he’s probably obsessing over whether he should just sleep there and wake up with you or whether he should leave. He’s also wondering how he can do that without appearing rude.

If you’re at his, he’s probably deciding whether it’s a good idea for you to stay or not. If you’re both somewhere else, well, he’s probably confused about what to do next!

14. They’re wondering whether they came too fast or not

Some guys can’t hold it in when they’re with someone new and exciting. He’s probably panicking about whether he came too fast or not and what you thought about it.

This is probably the number one thing that guys think about after sleeping with someone so it’s bound to pop into his mind. [Read: How to last longer in bed – 34 sex secrets for men to go long and hard]

15. They’re suddenly wondering about safe sex

Yes, this should be something everyone worries about beforehand, but whether you were 100% safe or not, he’s going over it and just checking in his mind that nothing could have gone wrong.

Did the condom split? Are you on the pill? Is there anything that could get either of you into trouble here? Let’s hope you were both responsible and none of this is a problem!

16. They’re wondering when it’s acceptable to jump in the shower

Basically, guys don’t like being sticky and sweaty after sex so he’s probably wondering how long is an acceptable amount of time to get up and go for a shower without offending you.

Of course, it might be that you’re thinking the same. Maybe you could share the shower?

17. They’re wondering when they can do it again!

Truthfully? They’re probably wondering when they can do it again. Sex to a guy is fun and enjoyable. It’s not quite as heavy as women make it out to be.

Sure, be careful and responsible. But when you tick those boxes, isn’t sex just fun-filled and a generally happy time? [Read: One night stand – what it means, 57 secrets to have one, and must-know rules]

Do You Panic About A Guy’s Thoughts After Sex?

We panic so much about what people think. When you get into bed with someone, you panic even more about everything. “Do they think I’m easy? What does he think about my thighs? Is he looking at my stomach?”

But just know that none of these things are in his head—he’s just completely over the moon that he’s actually having sex in the first place! [Read: 20 sexy ways to tell a guy you want to have sex with him and not feel slutty]

Perhaps that means we should all lighten up a little and actually enjoy the moment. Let’s be honest, so many hang-ups and worries can spoil what should be a carefree and enjoyable time. We become so stressed that we don’t enjoy it at all.

Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable *when done responsibly, of course*. But we’re all too busy overthinking it. But from what you can see in this feature, men aren’t actually thinking about anything other than how great it is, so maybe you should do the same!

[Read: Getting rid of sexual insecurity for a better sex life]

More Often Than Not, He’s Genuinely Awed

The “during” phase is a cocktail of admiration, intrigue, and sometimes the odd, out-of-place thought. But, post-intimacy, if the thought, “Is he assessing our time together?” crosses your mind, pause and cut him some slack.

More often than not, he’s genuinely awed. During the act, he might’ve been captivated by your beauty, your responses, and the essence of the moment.

And afterward? Instead of picking apart every nuance, he’s likely marveling at the shared experience, perhaps even wondering, “How did I get so lucky to share that moment with someone as amazing as her?”

[Read: Sexual intimacy – the meaning, 20 signs you’re losing it, and secrets to grow it]

Let’s give men their due. What do guys think after you sleep with them? He’s probably not in critique mode but is more in a space of thankfulness, astonishment, and reflection. So, when doubts creep in, remember: just like you, he’s attempting to decode the intricate dance of emotions, vulnerability, and desire.

The post 34 Things Guys Think About After You Sleep with Them for the First Time is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

50 Dirty Things to Say to a Girl to Make Her Horny & Dirty Talk Mistakes to Avoid!

Words are a powerful tool you can use to turn your girl on and make her want you. These dirty things to say to a girl will leave her dripping wet for you.

It’s no secret that dirty talk is a really sexy thing. There are pornos dedicated specifically to people talking dirty to their partner and for good reason. It’s hot. It’s erotic. But that doesn’t mean you can just say anything that pops into your head. You need to know the dirty things to say to a girl that’ll actually turn her on.

Because just telling her you have a boner won’t cut it. You need stuff that’s more compelling and will speak to her on a deeper level. You need to make her feel it, and that’s what we’ve got here for you!

[Read: How to dirty talk – 36 sexy tips and 55 examples to turn anyone on with words]

Men Are Visual, Women Are Better at Imagination

Do you ever feel like just having sex without saying anything to each other has started to get boring? Most couples feel that way after a few years of regular sex too.

Calling your girlfriend a “bad girl”, a “dirty whore”, or a “f**kin’ bitch” is fun the first few times. But if you’re only going to say the same words over and over again, every half an hour during sex, and every few times every week, it’s only a matter of months before those words start to sound more like a turn-off than a turn-on!

For a guy, watching porn or even visualizing something sexy like a costume could give an instant hard-on, especially if your girlfriend dresses up as a fantasy character you’ve always lusted for. [Read: 41 sultry ways to turn a guy on fast and make him lust and fantasize about you]

But for a girl, sex is more imaginative and creative. It’s aroused by their senses beyond mere sight. So if you want to seduce a girl and talk dirty to her, you need to do more than just dress up as a fireman.

You need to get her mind racing, you need to make her visualize the words you say, and you need to transport her mentally to a place of sexual bliss.

How to Talk Dirty to a Girl

If your girlfriend or wife tells you that she likes the idea of talking dirty, that’s great news! After all, now you can actually blurt out those perverse thoughts that run through your mind when you’re banging your woman, and turn her on at the same time.

But before you go saying everything that comes to mind, you need to realize that the dirty thoughts in your mind may have existed for a long time, but your girlfriend has no idea about it!

Take it easy, and always start slow. Paw your way around dirty talking like a cat stealthily walking through new grounds.

Say something tame and easy to start with, and work your way up as the days pass if both of you enjoy talking dirty and fantasizing while having sex.

Over time, both of you will get hornier, bolder, and the fantasies too will start to get wilder. But if you say something too perverse too soon, she may just want to duct-tape your mouth while having sex for the rest of your life. [Read: Freaky sex – How it works, 48 signs and sexy ways to be a freak in bed]

All the Dirty Things to Say to a Girl to Make Her Want You Bad

If you’re looking for a way to make your woman horny as hell, we have what you need. These are all the dirty things to say to a girl that’ll make her wet and begging for you to satisfy her. [Read: What do women want in a man – 41 traits that make a guy very desirable]

1. “I want you riding me right now.”

2. “I want my face between your legs.”

3. “I can’t stop thinking about how good you feel.”

4. “I wish my hands were combing through your hair, pulling it, making you groan with pleasure.”

5. “The sounds you made last time we were in bed made me so weak.”

6. “Just the thought of you naked drives me crazy.” [Read: 25 sexy text messages to initiate a dirty conversation with anyone]

7. “I just can’t handle myself when I think about going down on you.”

8. “Can’t you tell how horny you make me just by being you?”

9. “I’ve been thinking about being inside of you all day.”

10. “I love the way you taste.”

11. “My hands, running down your body. I need it.”

12. “Tonight, I want you to be in charge.” [Read: 25 femdom secrets to be a dominatrix mistress and dominate a man in bed]

13. “Whatever you want me to do to you, I’ll do it.”

14. “The thought of me bending you over the counter won’t leave my mind.”

15. “I want to strip you down and feel your body from top to bottom.”

16. “Let me make you feel better than you ever have before.”

17. “I want my tongue on your clit, making you moan for hours.”

18. “Tonight, I am yours. Tell me what you want.”

19. “The way you feel beneath me is addicting. I can’t get enough.” [Read: 30 ways to please a woman and get her addicted sexually and emotionally]

20. “I need to be careful around you. I just can’t seem to think straight.”

21. “I’m going turn you around and you’re going to take it.”

22. “I want you to take charge right now.”

23. “I can’t help but moan when I’m in your mouth.”

24. “I want to make you scream from pleasure tonight.”

25. “I want to be so deep inside of you.”[Read: How to initiate sex and 25 seductive ways to take the lead in bed]

26. “I’ve never been this hard before.”

27. “You’re so tight, I can’t take it.”

28. “Mmm, I could do this all night.”

29. “Your body on mine is what I crave.”

30. “I want to go down on you for hours.”

31. “When you come home I will put you in paradise.”

32. “If уоu соuld rеаd mу mіnd right now, you’d be blushing all over.”

33. “I’m going to make you forget your own name tonight. What I have planned will have you moan for hours, but only if you do exactly as I say.” [Read: What men like in bed – 53 things they want, desire, and absolutely lust after]

34. “I can’t believe I could want someone this badly.”

35. “I’ll follow you in after I’ve finished my first dessert. You’ll be my seconds.”

36. “Take off all your clothes. One by one. You’re going to have to striptease before I let you sit on my dick.”

37. “You’re making me so horny. I’m going to turn you around and fuck you now.”

38. “You were made for my pleasure. Open your legs and let me see and taste what’s mine.”

39. “That ass of yours is driving me crazy. Bend over the kitchen table and take every single inch of me like a good girl.”

40. “You have the most perfect breasts.” [Read: Why men like boobs – the psychology and 30 reasons why guys love breasts]

Tips For Making Your Dirty Talk Even More Powerful

These phrases may all seem perfectly useful when you’re thinking of dirty things to say to a girl, but only if you know how and when to use them. Here are some tips for making the most out of dirty talking to your girl. [Read: 37 secrets to have more sex as a couple and how often is totally normal]

1. Say something naughty in public

Nothing is sexier than a man getting intimate and naughty in a public setting. Obviously, you’ll want to be quiet about it and make sure nobody else can hear you. But if you do this right, it’ll be a huge turn-on for her.

Just whisper what you want to say very low in her ear and watch her squirm.

2. Text it to her

If you’re not together, take the opportunity to text her something very dirty. Not only will you make her feel horny while away from you, it’ll also increase the anticipation for a great time later.

This may also give you a window into some great sexting. There’s not much better than getting really turned on with a good dirty texting conversation. [Read: 45 sexy ways to start sexting and 50 sext examples to get someone horny]

3. Give her a slow, romantic kiss, and finish it by whispering in her ear

This is extremely effective because of the parallels. A really deep, romantic kiss will already turn her on and then you say something very dirty when she’s expecting something sweet.

The surprise and your words specifically will make her wet for you. You can take things right to the bedroom after doing this!

4. Know what she likes

If you know what your girl likes, you can better tailor what you say. The dirty things to say to a girl that work the best are always the things that’ll spark the most interest in her.

If you know your girl loves when you go down on her, then focus on that. Talk about how much you love it and how much you wish you could go down on her right there. She’ll start picturing this and will be horny in no time. [Read: Sexy words – 23 seductive words and dos and don’ts to make dirty talk sound erotic]

5. Only say what feels natural

Don’t try to say a bunch of these things if they sound foreign and awkward coming out of your mouth. That’ll basically just ruin the moment.

If you’re new to this, then start slow. Start with phrases that are simple and that make sense. “I want you so bad,” is a perfect place to start. You can also see how reactive your partner is and continue down a path she’s responding well to.

[Read: The secret art of making any girl wet just by casually sitting next to her]

6. Call her names

For starters, dirty names are the perfect way to take a walk down the road of dirty talk. As you penetrate her, grab her and claw her, and say something dirty and sexy about each body part of hers that you touch with your hands. Or just call her a dirty slut and work with that as the minutes pass by.

7. Describe it

This is another safe way to see if both of you enjoy dirty talking together. Tell her everything you’re going to do to her about five to ten seconds before you actually do it.

If you’re going to do it harder, whisper it in her ears before you do it. If you’re going to bite her neck or let your hands wander, breathe into her ears and tell her before you do it.

8. Ask her to open up

When in doubt, ask your girlfriend or wife what she wants to talk about in the bedroom! She may feel awkward to say something during foreplay though.

So wait until you penetrate her so she can feel completely uninhibited and bold, and then ask her to say something dirty and sexy.

Or ask her to imagine something naughty and tell you where she’d want to be. And once she says something that arouses her, take the cue and get into the dirty descriptions. [Read: 90 sexy and dirty would-you-rather questions to make anyone horny af]

9. Instruct her

Tell her what you want her to do. You could use this during foreplay, or while having sex with each other.

To make it just a little kinkier and sexier, mix in a few questions too. “Would you skinny dip with me if we were on a vacation and the beach was empty?”, “When we’re in a club, I want you to grind against me with your butt, and I want you to reach your hands into my jeans…” You get the drift?

10. Taboo fantasies

Dirty talk about things that are beyond the bed. Talk about different places, involving other people, or just doing things that are considered rather risqué like flashing in public or making out in front of someone else. [Read: Mutual fantasy – how to fantasize and talk about someone else while having sex]

Use These Words to Drive Her Wild

Now that you have 40 great examples of dirty talk and even some examples of how to use them, what’s stopping you?

Bringing new things into your sex life can not only improve your evening. It can rejuvenate a stale relationship, lift lowered spirits, and bring the honeymoon phase right back to your door.

So say some naughty things. It’ll show your girl just how much you love and cherish her.

[Read: 23 sweet, love-filled gestures to make your girlfriend feel special and loved]

Knowing which dirty things to say to a girl to turn her on will be useful for so many reasons. The next time you want to make her yours in the bedroom, try a few of these.

The post 50 Dirty Things to Say to a Girl to Make Her Horny & Dirty Talk Mistakes to Avoid! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

"Self-Control Is Sexy": A Sex Talk Gambit (Turn Her On!)

This simple conversation gambit gets you turning women on via an unusual conversational route: self-control. Because self-control is sexy… as she’ll agree!

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

Table of Contents

1. Is Self-Control Sexy?

2. Losing Control is Sexy Too

3. The Self-Control Gambit

4. Mechanisms at Play

5. Recap

I want to share a sex talk gambit that is very efficient and easy to pull off. What can this gambit do for you?

• Convey sexual experience (sexual prizing)

• Communicate sexual, social, and female understanding (pacing effect)

• Build sexual comfort

It does all this while setting a sexual frame, which we know is crucial. When the interaction is sexual, whether the sexual frame is explicit or light, future sexualization is smoother because the interaction already has a sexual undertone. So, talking about sex as you move forward will be easier, forging a path for bolder and more explicit gambits.

This self-control sex gambit is light and does not contain much explicit content, but feel free to create a more explicit version if you want. Because this gambit is less explicit, it’s less prone to resistance, less risky, and easier to introduce.

However, a light gambit does NOT mean it is weak. It is powerful even if the level of explicit content is low because it still sets a sexual frame and conveys attractive attributes. And this can get a girl interested and attracted.

Sometimes, light gambits are all you need to hook her, get her immersed and curious about you, and even be willing to go home with you. Sure, it rarely is enough to escalate all the way, but it can set a clear path for easy physical escalation.

Light sexual gambit are helpful in your early game as a hook gambit; see Using Sex Talk to Hook Girls Early in a Conversation.

So, let’s get into the gaming, but first, I’ll share some background so you understand the theory behind this gambit.

Remember, you can find a compilation of all my gambits here: STICKIED: Sex Talk Gambits Compilation (And more).

Narcissist Parents: What Makes One, 55 Signs, Effects & How to Cope with Them

Does your mom or dad make every family event about them? You may be dealing with narcissist parents. Read the signs and the secrets to cope with them here.

You’re home for the holidays, and you find yourself playing a never-ending game of emotional chess with your parents. No matter how hard you try to make a thoughtful move, it seems like they’ve already declared themselves the winners. Does that ring a bell? Well, congratulations! You might be dealing with narcissist parents.

Navigating the signs and strategies surrounding narcissist parents is crucial before their antics drive you to the brink of pulling your hair out.

Trust us, understanding this complex dynamic can save you from future emotional turmoil and maybe even a few gray hairs.

[Read: 73 red flag narcissism signs and traits of a narcissist to read them like a book]

What Exactly is a Narcissistic Parent?

The term “narcissist” gets thrown around so casually these days, doesn’t it? It’s like the emotional equivalent of calling someone a “hipster” — vague, yet oddly specific.

But when it comes to narcissist parents, the definition is far more concrete and psychologically grounded.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder *NPD*, according to the good old DSM-5, is a condition characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated self-importance, the need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy toward others.

So no, calling someone a narcissist isn’t just a trendy insult, it’s a serious diagnosis.

When we zoom in on the core characteristics of narcissist parents, a few traits stick out like a sore thumb. First off, there’s a palpable lack of empathy, almost as if they’re emotionally colorblind. Add to that an excessive need for admiration that would make a Instagram influencer blush.

Other general traits might include a sense of entitlement, manipulative or exploitative behavior, and an uncanny ability to deflect blame onto others.

So if you’ve been tossing around the term “narcissist” but weren’t quite sure what it entails, especially in the context of parents, there you have it.

[Read: 29 subtle signs to spot a narcissist and read NPD traits in a relationship]

The Subtle Signs Your Parent is a Narcissist

Oh boy, are we getting into the meat and potatoes of this topic or what? Recognizing the signs of narcissist parents isn’t just about slapping on a label.

It’s about understanding the nuances that make your family dynamics feel more like a tightrope walk than a nurturing environment.

1. Emotional Unavailability

The parent-child game of catch is a classic, but what if you’re throwing emotional balls and they never get caught?

With narcissist parents, emotional availability is often a one-way street. They want you to be there for their emotional needs, but when it comes to yours, it’s like shouting into a void.

Imagine trying to share your feelings or concerns, only to be met with indifference or a swift change of subject to something about them.

2. Excessive Control

Imagine needing your parent’s approval for not just the big life choices, but also the little things like what you wear or what you eat. This kind of micromanagement is what psychologists term as coercive control.

In this realm, narcissist parents act as puppet masters, pulling strings to make you dance to their tune. Autonomy becomes a far-off concept, and you might even find yourself second-guessing your own decisions constantly. [Read: Overprotective and controlling parents: 28 signs, effects and how to deal with them]

3. Lack of Boundaries

Picture this: You’re in your room, door closed, trying to have a private conversation with a friend. Suddenly, your parent bursts in, demanding to know what you’re talking about.

Lack of boundaries is a hallmark sign of narcissist parents. They might snoop through your belongings, read your messages, or even feel entitled to comment about your personal relationships. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

4. Criticism Overload

Sure, constructive criticism is a part of life, but with narcissist parents, it’s a never-ending monologue.

Every small mistake is an epic fail, and you’re made to feel like you can never meet their lofty standards. It’s almost as if they’ve got a PhD in pointing out your flaws and zero training in encouragement.

5. Using Guilt as a Weapon

Ah, the good ol’ guilt trip. Your narcissist parent has this down to an art form. Whether it’s making you feel bad for not spending time with them or guilting you into agreeing with their views, the emotional strings are always being pulled.

You find yourself in a cycle of apology, even when you’re not sure what you’re apologizing for. [Read: 27 signs of emotional manipulation to know if you’re being used by someone]

6. Grandiose Sense of Self

Your parent isn’t just content being an ordinary mom or dad; they believe they’re extraordinary and exceptional, often without the accomplishments to back it up.

Imagine a parent who consistently brags about their life, their achievements, or even your achievements as if they’re their own. [Read: Main types of narcissism & steps to treat and help a narcissist change]

7. Conditional Love

Love, in the world of narcissist parents, comes with terms and conditions. It’s like a twisted version of a rewards program: meet their expectations and earn ‘love points,’ fail, and suffer emotional withdrawal.

You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying not to violate the “terms of service.”

8. Emotional Blackmail

Not to be confused with guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail is a more sinister form of manipulation. Your parent might use threats, whether overt or covert, to get their way.

For example, they could say something like, “If you don’t do this for me, don’t bother coming home.”

9. The Blame Game

In the dictionary of narcissist parents, the term “accountability” is conspicuously missing.

They can turn any situation around to make it someone else’s fault, often yours. Even when caught red-handed, they’ll weave a narrative where they’re the victim.

10. Projecting Insecurities

Ah yes, if narcissist parents were a movie, projection would be a recurring theme. They’re adept at transferring their own insecurities onto you.

If they feel inadequate about their own career, for example, they’ll nitpick at your job choices or academic achievements.

11. Invalidating Your Emotions

Imagine expressing sadness or frustration, only to have your narcissist parent say, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting.”

It’s as if your emotional weather report is constantly being invalidated, turning your emotional climate into a perpetual fog of confusion.

12. Sibling Rivalry Instigation

Pitting you against your siblings isn’t just a byproduct but is a tactic. Narcissist parents often create scenarios that set you up for rivalry, making it difficult to form close relationships with your siblings.

If your parents are snitching on your sibs to you, or vice versa, know that this is a calculated move. They’re creating a family dynamic where loyalty is constantly questioned, and trust is a scarce commodity.

You find yourself in a never-ending loop of comparisons and competitions, making it almost impossible to team up with your siblings against the common “foe”—your narcissist parents.

The irony is that siblings can be crucial allies in emotional support, especially in a household where a parent’s love feels conditional or manipulative.

Yet, here you are, orchestrated to see them as competitors or even enemies. Divide and rule, right? [Read: Toxic family members: 15 signs and reasons to cut them off for good]

13. Competing with You

Remember those parents cheering from the bleachers during Little League games? Well, narcissist parents aren’t just cheering, they’re competing.

Whether it’s outperforming you in academics, sports, or even social settings, they view you less as their child and more as their rival.

14. Public Image Over Personal Connection

For narcissist parents, keeping up appearances isn’t just a goal; it’s an obsession. You might notice they act like Parent of the Year when others are watching but turn into a completely different person in private.

Social media could be their favorite stage, showcasing a picture-perfect family that exists only in filters.

15. Emotional Coercion

Ever heard phrases like, “After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?” That’s emotional coercion.

Narcissist parents love playing the martyr, emphasizing their sacrifices to manipulate you into conforming to their wishes. [Read: Martyr complex: What it is, 20 signs of martyr syndrome and ways to fix it]

16. Financial Control

Money isn’t just a resource, it’s a control tool. Your narcissist parent might keep a tight rein on finances, making you dependent on them for basic needs or even small luxuries. This financial leash is rarely slackened, regardless of your age or situation.

If you’re an adult, you could find them still trying to “advise” you on your career choices, questioning your financial decisions, or offering “gifts” that come with a hefty side of guilt and strings attached.

It’s like they’re the puppet masters of your financial theater, and you’re just the marionette dangling on fiscal strings. [Read: Overprotective & controlling parents: 28 signs, effects & how to deal with them]

17. Selective Memory

Narcissist parents have a knack for remembering things that paint them in a good light and conveniently forgetting incidents where they were at fault. It’s like their memory has its own “edit” button, leaving you questioning your own recollections.

For example, they might vividly recall the time they helped you with a school project *and won’t let you forget it*, painting themselves as the parent of the year.

But bring up the time they forgot to pick you up from soccer practice, leaving you stranded, and suddenly their memory becomes as foggy as a San Francisco morning. [Read: Covert narcissist: What it is, 72 signs and how to see the games they play]

18. Minimizing Your Achievements

You know that feeling when you’re proud of something you’ve accomplished? Well, narcissist parents have an uncanny ability to shrink that pride down to the size of a pea.

Whether it’s scoring well on a test or landing a new job, they’ll find a way to make it seem insignificant compared to their own accomplishments or expectations.

19. Double Standards

What’s good for the goose isn’t good for the gander in a narcissist parent’s world. They might hold you to incredibly high standards while not following those rules themselves.

For instance, they demand punctuality from you but are perennially late. [Read: 33 toxic signs of double standards in a relationship and ways to deal with them]

20. Withholding Affection

In the emotional toolkit of a narcissist parent, affection is a screwdriver that tightens or loosens depending on their mood or needs.

If you’re in their good graces, you might get a momentary display of warmth. But step out of line, and affection is promptly withdrawn, leaving you emotionally parched.

21. Criticizing Your Friends and Partners

No one’s ever good enough for you, according to your narcissist parent. They will find flaws in your friends and romantic partners, undermining your relationships.

It’s a control tactic aimed to isolate you emotionally.

22. Revisionist History

Your narcissist parent could rewrite history to make themselves look better. Major family issues, previous abuse, or even your own achievements could be manipulated to feature them as the hero or victim.

While selective memory is about conveniently forgetting or remembering certain events, revisionist history takes it a step further by altering the facts of those events.

It’s as if they have a personal PR team working overtime to reframe stories, making them either the unsung hero or the misunderstood victim.

23. Constant Interruptions

Whenever you talk, it’s like an invisible stopwatch starts ticking in their mind. They frequently interrupt you, unable to let you complete your thoughts, making you feel unheard and trivialized.

24. The Silent Treatment

Let’s talk about the infamous silent treatment. This is emotional neglect dressed up as a punishment.

Narcissist parents often use this to gain the upper hand in disagreements, essentially ‘canceling’ you until you give in to their demands.

25. Unrealistic Expectations

Lastly, life with narcissist parents often feels like a never-ending quest to reach an unattainable ideal.

Whether it’s academic achievement, physical appearance, or career success, the goalposts for ‘good enough’ are constantly being moved.

How Having a Narcissist Parent Affects Kids

Let’s get into the often unspoken yet profound effects that narcissist parents can have on their kids. Realizing your parent or parents might be narcissists isn’t a lightbulb moment anyone wishes for.

It’s like finding a puzzle piece that suddenly makes the jumbled picture of your life make a little more sense—and yet it’s a piece you wish you never had to find.

1. Emotional Scars

When we talk about Attachment Theory, think of it as the emotional glue that sticks kids to their caregivers. A narcissist parent is like using a low-grade glue stick, it doesn’t hold well.

As an adult, this messed-up attachment might manifest in your relationships as trust issues, fear of abandonment, or chronic insecurity. You’re left trying to understand why you can’t emotionally stick well to others.

2. Developmental Impact

Psychologist Erik Erikson laid out the stages of psychosocial development, a roadmap for human emotional and social growth.

Imagine reaching the fork in the road for each stage, and your narcissist parent takes you down the wrong path.

You might struggle with basic trust, intimacy, and even your sense of identity, like a GPS constantly rerouting but never reaching a destination. [Read: Emotionally damaged: How people get that way, 26 signs and how to heal from it]

3. Low Self-Esteem

Growing up, if your achievements were minimized and your flaws exaggerated, it’s no surprise that your self-esteem took a hit. [Read: I’m not good enough: Why you feel this way & 32 secrets to feel amazing!]

Think of it as trying to build a house on a shaky foundation; it’s bound to crumble at some point. You might seek constant validation from others but never feel “good enough.”

4. People-Pleasing Tendencies

Always trying to meet the expectations of your narcissist parent can turn you into a chronic people-pleaser.

It becomes a conditioned response—you bend over backward to make others happy, often at the expense of your own well-being. The motto becomes, “If I’m not making someone happy, I’m not worth it.” [Read: People pleaser: 21 signs you’re one and how to stop people pleasing]

5. Difficulty Forming Relationships

Thanks to that faulty attachment style and low self-esteem, forming and maintaining relationships can be like trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces.

You may either cling too tightly, fearing abandonment, or keep people at arm’s length to avoid getting hurt.

6. Emotional Dysregulation

Growing up with emotional volatility at home can mess with your own emotional thermostat.

Your ability to regulate emotions could swing like a pendulum, from emotional numbness to overwhelming intensity. It’s like trying to navigate through life with a faulty emotional compass.

7. Anxiety Disorders

Living in a high-stress environment often leads to anxiety disorders later in life. Imagine growing up walking on eggshells, you become wired to sense danger even when there isn’t any.

You might find everyday situations unusually stressful, as if you’re perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. [Read: Signs of anxiety: How to read the signs ASAP & handle them better]

8. Co-dependency

Narcissist parents often create a co-dependent relationship with their children, making it difficult for the kids to gain independence. [Read: 38 signs of codependency & traits that make you clingy and ways to break out]

This dependency can extend into adulthood, making it challenging to make decisions without external validation.

9. Perfectionism

The constant criticism and unrealistic expectations can instill an unhealthy sense of perfectionism. The stakes always feel sky-high, as if one mistake would crumble your entire world. Even minor imperfections become a source of immense anxiety.

10. Fear of Failure

Growing up, failure wasn’t treated as a stepping stone but rather a plummet into an abyss.

As an adult, you might find it incredibly difficult to take risks, whether in your career, relationships, or even trivial daily activities. Every decision is weighed with an unnecessary amount of anxiety.

11. Emotional Detachment

When emotional availability is sporadic, a defense mechanism might be to detach emotionally. Over time, this detachment can become a default setting, extending beyond the parent-child relationship into other meaningful relationships you might have.

This means your friendships, romantic partnerships, and even professional relationships could be impacted, as you find it hard to switch off that emotional fortress you’ve had to build.

12. Hyper-Vigilance

When you grow up needing to be constantly alert to mood swings and emotional outbursts, you develop a heightened sense of vigilance.

This means you’re always on the lookout for signs of danger or changes in people’s behavior, and that’s emotionally exhausting.

13. Substance Abuse

Often, kids of narcissist parents might turn to substance abuse as an escape mechanism. It’s like seeking a temporary haven, but the repercussions can last a lifetime.

14. Parental Alienation

In some instances, narcissist parents could drive a wedge between you and the other, more empathic parent.

This divide and conquer strategy leaves you without a balanced perspective on healthy parental relationships.

15. Chronic Guilt

Finally, you might carry around a sense of unwarranted guilt, feeling responsible for your parent’s happiness or well-being.

The line between parent and child responsibilities becomes so blurred that you may feel like you’re the one who needs to make everything right. [Read: How to get rid of false guilt & drop the burden others put on you]

Strategies to Cope Narcissist Parents

Knowing how they affect you is half the battle; now let’s arm ourselves with the tools to deal with it.

1. Low-Contact vs. No-Contact

When it comes to dealing with narcissist parents, think of it as tuning the radio. You can either tune them out completely *no-contact* or adjust the static *low-contact*.

For the low-contact crowd, the ‘Gray Rock Method‘ could be a lifesaver. The idea is to make yourself emotionally uninteresting, a ‘gray rock,’ so they lose interest in manipulating you.

You offer dull responses and avoid emotionally charged conversations, making you a less appealing target.

2. Boundaries

Now, let’s talk psychological differentiation, a term that basically means knowing where you end and someone else begins. Setting firm boundaries with narcissist parents is like putting up a mental fence.

Sure, they can shout across it, but they can’t walk all over you. Make your needs and limits clear, and stick to them, even if your parents try to bulldoze through.

3. Emotional Independence

Time to cut those emotional puppet strings your parents have been pulling all these years. Reclaim your feelings and choices as your own. [Read: How to be emotionally independent & stop using others for happiness]

No longer will you be a marionette dancing to their emotional whims. It’s like finally finding the remote control to your own emotional TV.

4. Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, there’s no substitute for good old therapy. Think of a therapist as a personal trainer for your mind; they help you exercise your emotional muscles to face the narcissistic heavyweights in your life.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy *CBT* or Dialectical Behavior Therapy *DBT* can be particularly helpful. *More of these later.*

5. Support Groups

There’s comfort in numbers, and joining a support group offers a sense of communal healing. Imagine having a team of people who’ve faced the same foul balls you have.

It’s easier to hit a home run when you’re not alone. Share your experiences, learn from others, and even make new friends who understand your background.

6. Financial Independence

Your narcissist parents may use financial strings to control you. Time to snip those strings and taste the freedom that comes with financial independence.

Save up, get a stable job, and create a safety net that acts as a buffer between you and your parents. [Read: Important habits you need to be more independent]

7. Keep Realistic Expectations

The moment you realize your narcissist parents won’t change is the moment you set yourself free. It’s like realizing the leopard won’t change its spots. You stop expecting it to turn into a cuddly house cat.

Keep expectations low to avoid chronic disappointment.

8. Educate Yourself

Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to understanding narcissistic behavior. Read up on psychological theories, parental narcissism, and coping strategies.

The more you know, the less likely you are to be fooled by their tactics.

9. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is your emotional armor in this battle. It helps you stay grounded when faced with emotional warfare from your narcissist parents.

Think of it as carrying an emotional shield; it won’t stop the arrows, but it’ll certainly help you block them.

10. Maintain Physical Distance

Sometimes, geographic distance can be a mental savior. Moving away for a job or college can offer you the breathing space you need from your family’s toxic dynamics.

It’s like enjoying fresh air after years of smog.

11. Self-Validation

Time to become your own cheerleader. Stop relying on your narcissist parents for validation and learn to give it to yourself. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and internalize your self-worth.

12. Empathy, Not Sympathy

It’s fine to understand that your parents have a disorder, but don’t let it become an excuse for their behavior.

Sympathy may make you vulnerable to their manipulations, but empathy can help you understand why they are the way they are without getting emotionally entangled. [Read: How to show empathy & learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

13. Communication Skills

Fine-tune your communication to be clear, concise, and assertive. No more beating around the bush or sugar-coating. The clearer you are, the less room you give for manipulative tactics.

14. Detox Your Social Circle

Sometimes the toxicity isn’t just limited to your parents. Do a friendship audit and filter out people who exhibit narcissistic traits or enable your parents.

It’s like removing weeds from your social garden to let the flowers bloom.

15. Make Time for Self-Care

Last but definitely not least, pamper yourself. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your emotional well-being. It’s the emotional spa day that you totally deserve after years of turmoil.

Can a Narcissistic Parent Change?

The million-dollar question: Can a narcissistic parent change? It’s like hoping the Grinch’s heart will grow three sizes; possible, but not likely.

Let’s talk about the role of therapy here further. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy *CBT* and Dialectical Behavior Therapy *DBT* are like the Swiss Army knives of mental health treatment.

These therapies can equip narcissist parents with emotional regulation skills, increase their awareness of others’ feelings, and even help them deconstruct their inflated self-perceptions.

So, yes, in theory, therapy can be a game-changer. [Read: Can a narcissist change? Why it’s hard and subtle signs they’ll change for you]

However, let’s drop some reality on this hopeful scenario: the hard truth is that change is rare. Why? For starters, many narcissistic parents don’t even think they need to change.

Imagine trying to convince a fish it needs a bicycle, that’s the level of disconnect we’re talking about. Even if they do enter therapy, it often takes years of intense work to make a dent in long-established narcissistic patterns.

In everyday life, this is akin to your narcissistic parent promising to be better, making a small effort *maybe*, but then slowly reverting to their old ways, kind of like a New Year’s resolution to work out that fizzles by February. And that’s if they even acknowledge the need for change, to begin with!

So, while there’s a sliver of hope, it’s essential to protect yourself first and foremost. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup, especially if your narcissist parents have been sipping from it your whole life. [Read: 46 secrets to deal with a narcissist, break them and handle their petty games]

If You’re Reading This, You’ve Already Taken the First Steps

Recognizing the issue, facing its stark realities, and arming yourself with coping strategies all require immense courage.

If you’re reading this, you’ve already taken the first steps toward understanding and protecting your mental health, which is monumental.

Dealing with narcissist parents is never a walk in the park, but acknowledging the problem is a bold step in claiming your mental and emotional freedom.

Don’t underestimate the courage it takes to confront this issue, and never downplay the importance of your mental well-being.

[Read: Narcissistic supply: How to control a narcissist and cut their power]

You’re not alone, and the finish line—though distant—is not out of reach. You’ve got this, and don’t let anyone, especially narcissist parents, tell you otherwise. Keep championing your mental health, it’s the most valuable asset you’ve got. You’re stronger than you think.

The post Narcissist Parents: What Makes One, 55 Signs, Effects & How to Cope with Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.