How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: How to Not Give a F*ck

Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin can be a long process. But it’s beyond worth it for your happiness. Here’s how to stop giving a fuck.

We all care far too much about what other people think of us. Some care more than others. But to a degree, we all have other people’s opinions in the back of our minds when we do something. That’s why knowing how to be comfortable in your own skin isn’t very easy.

We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. That’s no way to live. At a certain point in your life, you have to take a look at yourself.

Are you living the life YOU want or are you pandering to what other people expect of you? If it’s the latter, then you really need to stop giving a fuck about what they think. [Read: 41 signs & steps to stop caring what people think & start living your life]

The Psychology of Self-Acceptance

If you’ve ever felt like you’re wearing an outfit that’s just not ‘you,’ awkward and out of place, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with being comfortable in our own skin, wondering how others seem to wear their authenticity with such ease.

Self-acceptance is a foundational block of our mental health. Think of it as being at peace with who you are – warts, quirks, and all. It’s about acknowledging your weaknesses while embracing your strengths.

This acceptance is vital because it’s the bedrock upon which our sense of well-being rests. Without it, we’re like ships without anchors, easily swayed by external opinions and societal norms.

So, what shapes this comfort level with ourselves? For starters, societal expectations play a significant role. From the moment we’re born, society bombards us with ideas of what’s acceptable, desirable, or ‘normal.’ [Read: 33 secrets to be true to yourself & 15 signs you need to unfake your life]

The constant stream influences how we see ourselves and, often, how we believe we should be. But there’s more to it than just societal norms. Personal experiences, especially those from childhood, significantly impact how we view ourselves. A nurturing environment can foster self-acceptance, while a critical or unsupportive one can do the opposite.

Take Carl Rogers’ notion of ‘conditional positive regard,’ for instance. He suggested that we often seek approval from others to form a favorable view of ourselves.

Reliance on external validation can erode our self-acceptance. On the flip side, ‘unconditional positive regard,’ where we accept ourselves regardless of others’ opinions, lays the foundation for true self-comfort.

Another key player is self-esteem. It’s our emotional evaluation of our worth. High self-esteem doesn’t mean arrogance, it’s about acknowledging your worthiness without dismissing others.

Low self-esteem, however, can trap us in a cycle of self-criticism and doubt, making it hard to be comfortable in our own skin. [Read: Positive self talk: What it is, where it comes from & how to master it]

Self-awareness is equally crucial, too. It’s about understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The more aware you are, the better you can navigate your path to self-acceptance. It’s like having a map of your inner world. Without this awareness, it’s easy to stray from what truly resonates with you, leading to discomfort and inauthenticity.

Being comfortable in your own skin is like unlocking a superpower that positively impacts various aspects of your life.

Why You Should Stop Caring About What Others Think

Perhaps the need to be liked and accepted is something innate to us humans, but when the desire for external validation overshadows our own authenticity, it’s time to reassess.

Seeking approval can be a natural instinct, yet overdoing it can lead us down a path where our happiness becomes heavily dependent on others’ opinions.

1. It Only Holds You Back

This is the biggest reason to stop giving a fuck about what others think. You’ll never get very far in life trying to please everyone. In fact, it’ll hold you back from your full potential.

You have so much to offer, but not everyone will like it. If you stop caring and just focus on you, you’ll have far more success. [Read: Signs your past is only holding you back]

2. Caring Only Hurts Your Self-esteem and Confidence

Do you want to feel crappy about yourself? No! We’re sure you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself and that starts by not caring about what others think. If you’re always thinking about someone else’s opinion of you, you’ll never be confident.

3. Nobody Else Knows Your Life and Story

So basically, they have no place to judge. Nobody knows what’s going on in your life. They have absolutely no reason to have any opinion of your life. So why care about what they think?

4. Most People You’re Worried About Don’t Care About Your Well-being

If you’re always worried about your image or how others will react to your decisions, you’re probably not thinking about the people who care about you. Because those people would never want you to sacrifice your happiness just because of them. [Read: 20 commons signs you’re a people pleaser]

5. Their Opinion Doesn’t Matter

Truthfully, this is the golden ticket and why you should never care about what other people think. Unless they’re someone close to you who’s worried about you, their opinion doesn’t matter.

Everyone has thoughts and opinions about others nowadays, but they just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

How to Be Comfortable With Yourself and Start Loving Who You Are

Learning to accept who you are and be okay with you is like finding heaven – the noises stop, the anxiety stops churning, and you finally feel okay. It’s a state of inner peace where you’re in harmony with yourself, but let’s be real, it’s easier said than done, right?

This journey of self-acceptance and comfort isn’t an overnight transformation. It’s a process, a series of steps and realizations that lead you to embrace and love who you are. Here’s how you can start:

1. Shut Down Reoccurring Thoughts About What Others Think

This will take some time to get right, but you have to try. Whenever you have a thought like, “but what will people think if I…,” stop yourself and think positively.

You can actually retrain your brain this way. After enough practice, you’ll stop giving a shit about what other people think altogether. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

2. Stop Picturing How Others Will React

Instead, picture how you’ll feel. Will it make you happy to do it? Then go for it. This is a tough thing to do all the time, but it’s crucial if you want to know how to be comfortable with yourself.

Your opinion is the only one that matters. So the next time you want to do something, ask yourself if you will be happy. Only YOU. If the answer is yes, go for it.

3. Set Standards for YOURSELF Only

Set standards and expectations for yourself. But ONLY for yourself. Feeling comfortable with who you are is about loving yourself and being happy with your life. If you meet your own standards, you’ll always be happy.

4. Compare Yourself to Your Past Self

The only person you should try to be better than is your previous self. If you really want to be happy with yourself, then this is the only kind of comparing you need to do.

When you only focus on being better than you were yesterday, you’ll learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: How to become a better person with 9 golden rules]

5. Focus on Your Own Health and Happiness

This is crucial for being comfortable with yourself. Your health and happiness should come first. Once you realize what you need in life to be happy and healthy, you’ll be comfortable with who you are.

6. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Only people who lift you up and make you happy should be allowed in your life. Their positive energy will rub off on you. If you surround yourself with people who love you, you’ll understand why you should be happy with who you are.

7. Realize That There’s Never Going to be Someone Like You

No matter how prettier or smarter someone else is, they will never be you. Even if someone is more creative or better at something you enjoy, they’re still not you.

There will never be another person who is the unique combination that you are. If you realize that the one thing that makes you great is that you’re 100% unique, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: Ways to build self-confidence and realize your worth]

8. Realize That No One is Perfect

Some of us have an inner drive to be perfect. We think that if we can just get everyone to like us and be perfect, then we will feel comfortable with who we are and then we can start to accept ourselves.

The thing is, that to be comfortable in your skin, it isn’t about trying to be perfect. It is about accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect, but neither is anyone else. Give yourself the same license to be less than perfect that you give everyone else in your life to be comfortable in your own skin.

9. Do the Things You Love

This might not seem like it’s related to learning how to be comfortable with yourself, but it really is. Hobbies are important. Having passion is important. Those things you love so much are what make you who you are. Being happy with yourself has a lot to do with being able to express yourself through your passions.

10. Take Care of Your Body

We know this might seem a little superficial, but it’s not. When you exercise and eat well and take care of your body, it repays you. Not only will you look better, you’ll feel better.

When you start realizing just how beautiful and strong you are, it’ll help you learn how to be comfortable with yourself. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and even your libido]

11. Understand That Everyone Has Things About Themselves That They Don’t Like

Everyone, and we mean everyone, has things about themselves that they don’t like. The hottest girl to the most gorgeous guy is hiding an insecurity about themselves that you don’t know about.

That we can guarantee. To feel comfortable in your own skin, sometimes it is nice to know that you aren’t alone. We all have things about ourselves that we wish we didn’t have, or things that we wish we did. [Read: Signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]

12. Know the Secret That We All Have Times When We Re-think and Question Ourselves

Yep, everyone rethinks things in their lives and continually questions who and what they are. It is okay. It is totally human to wonder about who you really are, if you are a good person, and if you are doing the right thing.

We all do it. To find acceptance for yourself, you have to know that you are not the only one who struggles with themselves pretty frequently.

13. Come to Terms With the Fact That We All Have “Crazy”

We all have a crazy side. Not the kind of wild and crazy, the sheer crazy. If you think that you are the only one keeping the crazy in, you are dead wrong. We all self-monitor our behaviors and fight our inner nutcase!

14. Don’t Let Anyone Tell You Who or What You Are

If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop letting other people tell you who you are. If you have been labeled the fat girl, or butter face, or the skinny guy, stop internalizing it.

When all is said and done, your skin doesn’t define who you are, the inside does. And, that is where you have to feel comfortable, living inside it, not by worrying about what is on the outside. [Read: Why is inner beauty more attractive than outer beauty? + How to get that inner glow]

15. Stop Thinking That There is an Ideal Person

There is no such thing as the ideal person. We all make mistakes, we all have imperfections, we all do stupid things, and we all fuck up once in a while. Stop trying to be ideal and just be you.

Life is much happier when you stop trying to be what everyone else wants, and you be who you want.

16. Do the Right Thing Guided by Your Moral Compass

If you do things in life that you feel alright with and always follow your moral compass, then you will find comfort in your own skin.

Often, we don’t feel comfortable because we aren’t true to what we think is right or we are letting someone else guide us. Always guide your speech and behavior by what you know in your heart is right, and you will find inner peace and acceptance.

17. Forgive Yourself For Whatever You Did in the Past

To be comfortable in your own skin, sometimes you have to forgive yourself for things you have done in the past. Forgive yourself for not being as thin as you want to be, for losing a friend, or for whatever it is that you are holding onto.

Sometimes forgiving other people is much easier than forgiving yourself. If you do, however, you will find that you will like yourself a whole lot more and be comfortable in your own skin. [Read: How to respect yourself – secrets of self-worth and self-beleif]

18. Let Go of Past Hurt

Not being comfortable in your own skin can come from being teased when you were younger or having an overly critical parent. To feel comfortable with who you are, you have to let go of your past and stop dragging it into a bright future. You can’t change what happened before, but you can stop it from tainting your future.

19. Redefine Yourself

If you aren’t comfortable in your skin, then redefine who you are and who you want to be. We all tell ourselves a story about who we are, so tell yourself a different story. Create a new story about who and what you are, and your life will change to match, I promise… it is really true.

20. Start Each Day With a Clean Slate

Stop over-analyzing or bringing up the past to move forward and find acceptance for yourself. Even if you messed something up yesterday, today is a whole new day to do things differently.

So, start each new day as if you are going to set the world on fire and you will find the confidence you need to meet each new challenge. [Read: How to make each day count and more meaningful]

21. Make Incremental Changes to the Things You Don’t Like

If there is something that you don’t like about the way you look or who you are, then it might be making you not feel good in your own skin.

Don’t become overwhelmed by setting unrealistic goals to becoming who we want to be. Make a promise to yourself to make one small change every day. Whether your goal is to lose weight or be a better person, make one small improvement every day, and soon you will find that you are exactly who you want to be.

22. Hang Out With People Who Make You Feel Comfortable

Sometimes being uncomfortable in your own skin stems from being in relationships that don’t make you comfortable. If you want to be more comfortable, then hang out with people who foster you, make you feel good and confident, and who provide you unconditional love. [Read: Bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

23. Figure Out Who You Are and Who You Want To Be

Figure out what it is about yourself that makes you uncomfortable and work on it. Is it that you don’t like the way you look? Change it. Is it that you talk too much, then practice being silent.

Only you can change what you don’t like about you and is making you uncomfortable. So, stop procrastinating, figure it out, and do what it takes to find your inner confidence.

24. Stop Being a Pleaser

If you aren’t comfortable in your own skin because you are constantly trying to please everyone around, then stop. The only person’s happiness that you are responsible for is your own.

If you stop trying to please everyone else, you will be surprised at how quickly the focus on you will transform your life and allow you to find acceptance for yourself. [Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]

25. Go With the Attitude of “It’s on Them”

Adopting the attitude of “it’s on them” can be incredibly freeing. If someone disapproves of you or something you’ve done, yet you are at peace with yourself, the issue lies with them, not you.

This mindset shift is empowering. It acknowledges that while you can control your actions and attitudes, you can’t control how others perceive or react to you. When you’re okay with yourself but someone else isn’t, it’s a reflection of their perspective, not your worth.

26. Find Your Own Style

If you are trying to be trendy or someone that you aren’t, then stop. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is being comfortable with your style and what you are wearing. Wear what makes you comfortable and just be yourself! [Read: How to make yourself happy – 20 habits of incredibly happy people]

27. Do Things You Want To Do

If you feel uncomfortable in certain circles or doing things like going to clubs, then stop going. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is about doing what you want to do and saying no when you don’t. Be honest, and you will stop feeling the inner turmoil.

28. Give Yourself Self-Affirmations

Giving yourself self-affirmations might feel a bit awkward at first, but its effectiveness is backed by research. When you regularly affirm your worth and capabilities, it can lead to significant positive changes in your mindset and behavior. Studies have shown that self-affirmations can reduce stress, increase well-being, and even improve performance.

This practice works by reinforcing your self-identity and values, which in turn boosts your self-esteem and confidence.

When you affirm yourself, you’re essentially reprogramming your thought patterns, shifting from negative, self-doubting thoughts to more empowering and positive beliefs. If you speak it, you live it. It really is that easy.

29. Fake it Until You Make it

This popular phrase is widely known for a reason. It works. If you don’t know how to be comfortable with yourself, pretend you are. If you do this long enough, you’ll have retrained your mind to actually and truly be happy with you. It might take some time, but it’s worth it. [Read: Achieving self-acceptance in 10 little steps]

Benefits of Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Now, this isn’t just about being okay with the reflection in the mirror. Being comfortable in your own skin is like unlocking a superpower that positively impacts various aspects of your life. Here are ten amazing benefits that come with embracing who you are:

1. It’ll Improve Your Mental and Emotional Health

When you’re comfortable in your own skin, your self-esteem naturally gets a boost. You start to value yourself more, not because of external achievements or validations, but simply for being you.

This creates a positive feedback loop where increased self-esteem further enhances your comfort with yourself. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

2. Your Relationships and Social Interactions Will Benefit, Too

Worrying about what others think or trying to meet impossible standards can be exhausting and anxiety-inducing. Once you’re comfortable with yourself, this anxiety significantly diminishes. You become more relaxed and at ease in various situations, knowing that you are enough just as you are.

3. Enhanced Authenticity

There’s an undeniable authenticity that shines through when you’re at ease with yourself. You make choices that align with your true self, not swayed by fleeting trends or peer pressure. This authenticity is refreshing and can be deeply inspiring to those around you.

4. Improved Mental Health

Comfort with oneself is closely linked to overall mental well-being. It lowers the risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety, as you’re less likely to dwell on negative self-talk or get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others. [Read: Signs of anxiety: How to read the signs ASAP & handle them better]

5. Stronger Relationships

When you know and accept yourself, you bring a stronger, more genuine version of yourself to relationships. This self-awareness and confidence can deepen connections with others, as you’re more open, honest, and less defensive in your interactions.

6. Resilience Against Life’s Challenges Will Strengthen

Being comfortable in your own skin equips you with resilience. You’re better able to handle life’s ups and downs because your sense of self isn’t constantly rocked by external circumstances. Resilience is key to navigating life’s challenges with grace.

7. Decision-Making Becomes Easier and More Effective

With a strong sense of self comes better decision-making. You understand your values, preferences, and boundaries, making it easier to make choices that serve you well. It can lead to more fulfilling and effective paths in both personal and professional life.

8. Increased Happiness and Fulfillment

There’s a profound sense of happiness and fulfillment that comes from being at peace with who you are. You’re not constantly chasing someone else’s idea of success or happiness; instead, you find joy and satisfaction in your own unique journey. [Read: 52 happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself & feel better]

9. Better Mindset For You

When you’re comfortable with yourself, your fear of failure diminishes. You see failures as opportunities to learn and grow, not as a reflection of your self-worth. That mindset encourages you to take risks and embrace new opportunities.

10. You’ll Become an Inspiration to Others

Lastly, being comfortable in your own skin isn’t just beneficial for you, it can be deeply inspiring to others. Your comfort and authenticity can encourage those around you to embark on their own journeys of self-acceptance, creating a ripple effect of positivity.

Don’t Waste Your Days in Self-doubt

You don’t want to look back one day and realize that you never truly appreciated and celebrated who you are. You have this one life – it’s too precious to spend it bogged down by others’ opinions or by being hard on yourself. [Read: Self loathing: What it is, 25 signs & how to stop hurting yourself]

Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin is a vital life lesson. Don’t waste your days in self-doubt or concern over how others perceive you. Instead, invest that time and energy in loving who you are and living your life to its fullest potential.

The post How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin: How to Not Give a F*ck is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.