Over the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.
It might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.
I’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.
The right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual words are saying, but most likely not. Any relation that does exist is likely to be tangential or superficial, with the true motivator for her emotion left unvoiced.
Often this is not your problem to solve, but hers. Though you can help her. But NOT by taking her seriously!
Guys who take women seriously take on this huge burden of trying to figure out exactly what women are so exasperated about, then adapt themselves to whatever they think women need, so that they can do the male thing and ‘solve the problem’, based on what the women are saying, as well as whatever they can guess about what the women might actually possibly want, which usually doesn’t actually get them to the real root problem at all, frustrating both the women and themselves.
Cool guys do none of this, though.
Cool guys do something different:
They let a woman’s emotionalism roll right down their backs, with the result being that women are much happier around them, much more at peace, feel much more secure, and do not feel the frustrating isolation they do around men who are taking them seriously.
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