The Indirect Approach: No Interest, Push-Pull, or Indirect Classic?

There’s more than one way to use the indirect approach with women. Whether to opt for “no interest”, “push-pull”, or classic indirect, the choice is yours.

Hey, I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I’ll discuss different indirect game styles.

The goal of indirect game is to withhold showing interest in a woman, keeping it your level of desire for her a mystery to her. The idea is to wait to fully reveal your card (yet) to keep her intrigued and wondering whether or not you genuinely like her. You only show interest once she has shown interest in you, keeping her on her toes.

Whether or not you are an indirect or direct style type of guy, this and my future articles should interest you. Having an open mind and trying out all game styles is wise. You never know when you will find another game type that suits you better. The truth in pickup and seduction is that although there may be some material out there that can be considered inferior, most material is not, and sometimes, it is all a matter of tradeoffs. All methods offer pros and cons and provide benefits but at a cost.

The question is, what cost are you willing to pay for the benefit? This may differ from man to man. Guys who dislike one game type are usually less knowledgeable and need to fully grasp the method they dislike. So, gain all the knowledge you can, experiment, and then decide.

Balancing Women's Conformist Sides & Wild Sides

Every woman has a social – or conformist – side and a sexual – or wild – side. Most guys though only talk to one of these sides. To succeed at seduction, you must speak to both.

Something that makes guys’ heads spin when they discover it is the seeming dual nature of women:

That women are at once both this extremely conformist sex, and also significantly dirtier than men are.

In fact, I would say that grasping this ‘female contradiction’ and UNDERSTANDING is one major differentiator between the men who are absurdly good with girls from all the rest. Every master pickup artist and every talented natural intuitively gets this ‘contradiction’.

Guys who have not reached mastery yet try to treat these two ‘sides’ of women as if they are different people. Okay, there’s the conformist girl, they think, who is probably an uptight good girl, and you have to be really nice and not upset her with sexual things. Oh! Now there’s the SLUT, whom you can be REALLY forward with, they say, and don’t have to worry about embarrassing at all!

Then the conformist good girl never does anything with them, and they later find out she was having sloppy sex with her new bad boy boyfriend. Next, the slut also spurns their advances! They feel indignant at both these: where does the good girl get off acting like a good girl if she’s going to have sloppy sex with bad boys? Where does the slut get off rejecting ANY guy when she’s a SLUT?

Men who’ve fully integrated women’s conformist and dirty natures in their minds though have no problems with these girls – and in fact treat the good girl and the slut more or less the same. Sure, they’ll be a little raunchier around the slut and a little less so around the good girl, but their overall approach is going to be the same; unlike the less skilled guy, who opts for totally different approaches for both these women.

What is it the skilled guy gets that the unskilled guy does not?

And how do you unite these two seemingly contradictory aspects of female nature?

What to Say When She Says "Add Me on Instagram"

Girls today use “add me on Instagram” as their default close line – and brush off. If you’d like to be MORE than just another nameless follower, read on.

There’s an epidemic right now of women shifting men over to Instagram followers when those men try to go for the contact close.

• “Add me on Instagram!”
• “Follow me on Instagram!”
• “Hit me up on Insta!”
• “Let me give you my IG!”

^ do any of those sound familiar?

Men who are new to pickup are going through the same process over and over again, where they are feeling pressure from girls to comply with the “Instagram reflex” and do, then it doesn’t go anywhere, then it happens again with the next girl, then the next, until eventually they figure out that adding girls on Instagram is a big waste of time.

I am seeing guys go through this discovery process over and over, each man discovering it separately/independently, after much individual frustration and failure.

Rather than force you to have to go through that, I figured I’d give you a shortcut:

How to handle the Instagram reflex in a way that’s far more likely to lead to actual dates & lays.

Get Girls to Kiss You Passionately with the "10 Seconds to Live" Gambit

Tired of wet fish kisses from girls? With the “10 seconds to live” make-out gambit, you can get girls locking lips with you like it’s their final breath.

This post by Mr.Rob originally appeared on our forum here.

Should You Sit Next to a Girl on a Date or Across from Her?

Sit across from a girl on a date and trying to touch her feels weird. Sit next to her and touch is easy but eye contact gets tough. Here’s WHERE to sit.

Hi guys. I hope you are all doing great.

Today, I would like to discuss a relevant topic when you are on a first date with a girl: whether you should sit next to or across from a girl on a date.

I have yet to hear discussion on this topic. I believe that many men have asked themselves this question. This post can benefit beginners as well as experienced guys.

Beginners may not know how to position themselves during dates. It may seem minor, but even the little things can make a huge difference, especially for beginners. Pros can usually damage control or make up for mistakes, while beginners often cannot.

The bottom line is that everyone will benefit from this.

Case Studies: Wildcard Pickups, Compliance, & Killer Instinct

When you find yourself in a length ‘marathon seduction’, where the girl isn’t ready to pull and wildcards abound, how can you win the day? With compliance… and killer instinct.

You meet a girl, she’s pretty hot, se seems to be into you, but you can’t pull her right now. Maybe she’s with a friend or two. Maybe she has things she needs to do.

Interruptions happen. She’s pulled away. Other men start competing for her.

You can keep hanging around with her, but you cannot take her home. Not right now.

Should you stay or should you go? How should you deal with these wildcards? Should you give up and switch to a different target?

Just last week, I wrote a post on endurance game – which is where you hang in there and keep at it with a girl until she cracks on whatever the resistance point was, and things move forward.

This can work very effectively at any point in a seduction, but especially later on: once you know a girl is into you, you have a fair bit of compliance established, and no one’s likely to be taking her away from you.

Sometimes, however, ‘sticking around no matter what’ is not the best call for the situation you’re in. Other times, merely enduring is not going to be enough – you need to be totally on-point seizing every opportunity you have to escalate things with a girl and hook her deeper and deeper into the seduction, before other forces in the environment can yank her away.

Today, I want to explore this other side of things: how do you deal with lengthy, wildcard-laden seductions – and when does it make sense to pull the rip cord and step away from such a seduction, and NOT endure?

How to Pick Up Girls in Coffee Shops & Cafés

Cafés & coffee shops can be good spots to pick up girls in – but spam approaches + direct don’t work. To pick up girls HERE, you need a bit of STRATEGY!

Contents

1. Things to Understand

2. How to Pick Up in Cafés

1. Scout Trendy Cafés
2. Meet Girls in Line
3. Don’t Target Baristas
4. Scan for Invitations
5. Selecting a Seat
6. How to Open Her
7. Check Her Logistics
8. When to Instant Date

3. Conclusion

I have spent quite a bit of time in cafés and coffee shops over the years. That happens when you run an Internet business and do not have a traditional office-building office.

The right coffee shop/café is great for meeting attractive, cool girls at – but you need to know what you’re doing.

I have seen guys fumbling around trying to be very direct with girls in coffee shops. This only makes things awkward. I have also seen a lot of guys who fall for a barista and get focused on trying to ask out their favorite coffee brewer; they see her every time and gradually fall in love with her and get oneitis.

This guide is not on any of that stuff. This is not a “how to do tons of volume hitting on women in coffee shops” guide. Nor is this a guide to “how to pick up your favorite barista” (if you’re looking for something like that, check out my guide to picking up waitresses).

Instead, this is a guide on how to pick up girls in coffee shops and cafés strategically while you are in these places – so you are operating within the ‘rules’ of the venues while not missing out on interested & available girls.

Lay Report+: 3 Nights, 3 Girls, 3 Cockblocks

Lao Che takes a trip to Jeju Island, where in 3 nights he pulls 3 different girls. But it’s far from easy! Along the way his hapless wingman continually interferes…

This report by Lao Che originally appeared on our forum here.

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I've been wondering about posting LRs because I'm not sure what the point is. Lately I've been thinking it seems like bragging. I've written this now so I'll post it in the hopes that maybe some guys can pick up something, or at least enjoy the read. Let me know.

Make a Girl Comfortable at Your Place (4 Steps)

The first time you bring a girl home, she may be a bit nervous. Follow these simple steps to make a girl comfortable at your place and put her mind at ease.

Contents

I. New Environments Are Scary

II. Make Her Comfortable

1. Get to Know Each Other

2. Your Bathroom

3. Move Her Around

4. Dealing with Resistance

III. Conclusion

Hey guys.

Today I’ll share tips on how to make a girl feel more comfortable when you arrive at your place. This can help you dodge potential resistance, and help you deal with it if it arises.

If you have brought girls home and realized they stiffen up or appear uncomfortable, this post is for you. If you are dealing with last-minute resistance, this post is also for you. And if you are experienced and want to reduce facing resistance and escalate more quickly and safely, this post is for you, too

I’ll discuss are basic techniques suitable for beginners, but they also apply to experienced guys.

Have Online Simps & Chads Inflated Girls' Egos Sky High?

How difficult is it to get girls now that dating apps, social media, and OnlyFans puts tons of simps, Chads, and validation around every girl? Has dating grown impossible?

I keep seeing stuff like this over and over again from guys and it’s driving me slightly batty:

The argument is that Instagram and dating apps have flooded white women with an overwhelming number of sexual options, including countless tall, good-looking white Chads. This, in turn, has supposedly inflated these women's standards and made them less receptive to less remarkable-looking men they encounter in real life

The irony of course is that 100% of the men who talk about women “drowning in overwhelming options” in the sexual marketplace due to a superabundance of digital Chads consider themselves ‘red pill’, but they live almost wholly online in this weird 2D LED digital echo chamber matrix where the ‘women’ they are interacting with are carefully posed and curated avatars (and in some cases aren’t even women at all), wholly unlike who these women are in-the-flesh.

So come along on a wild ride, and take the red pill with me:

Because I’m going to show you you’ve been living in a dream world, Neo.

Are you ready to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?

Tactics Tuesdays: Endurance Game

Some girls will hit you with lots of resistance. Even if they like you, they won’t go past a certain point. You may want to give up. But what if you endure?

On a recent article of mine, a reader asked:

Chase,

You've repeatedly said to move "fast." But I'm seeing field reports of beating around the bush for hours on end. There's one from a dude who was "vibing" for 90 mins. Another one was from a guy who expended three hours before doing constant thigh rubbing. After some resistance, he gave up.

Maybe you could do another article about "moving things along purposefully"?

I like the topic suggestion.

However, reading this comment actually makes me think of a different topic that I feel like writing about more today instead. So, with apologies to our commenter (and perhaps I will circle back to purposeful forward movement… although I have already covered making invites, getting compliance, dealing with girls telling you no, and forward movement; how to time your moves and use ‘timers’ to not stall out, what creates resistance; plus a whole slew of ways to bust through it somewhat to death already), I’m going to write on that topic instead.

The topic for today’s Tactics Tuesday is endurance runs… a surprisingly simple girl-getting strategy, which we have talked about here and there, but one I am frankly a bit surprised more men don’t employ.

Have Smoother Opening Conversations with 'Singular Flow'

‘Jumping around’ in conversation after opening is a common problem for men chatting up new women. The simple way to avoid this mistake? Singular flow.

This post by Richard originally appeared on our forum here.

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Hey gentleman, I've kept a journal of my daily pickups, though they've slimmed recently because I'm getting more involved with a single girl rather than many. Anyway, I was reviewing my journal, and I noticed my success increase when I started to implement something I personally call SINGULAR FLOW.

I define this as: Following up an opening with a question that directly relates to the opening, environment, or reaction by the girl.

Learning to Pick Up Girls: Short- & Long-Term Aims

Learning to pick up and seduce girls takes time. You will sometimes need to choose: whether to take easy results now OR focus on making major progress.

Contents

I. Expectations and Impatience

1. Learning Seduction Is Not Linear

2. A Caveat

II. Focusing On One Factor

1. What About Luck?

2. The Night or the Journey?

III. Conclusion

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s discuss a phenomenon I regularly encounter with students and see on forums: the lack of patience when learning to pick up girls.

Some guys join this community to get a few quick fixes: they want to find out how to deal with a particular situation. For example, “So, there is this girl in X setting. What do I do?” Others join to improve, learn a few tricks, and move on. Then there is the last group, which consists of most forum members and active readers. These guys are in it for the art. They strive to get as good as possible, reach mastery, and make seduction a primary hobby.

The Girls Chase staff of writers, video creators, and coaches was once part of that group. Despite reaching mastery, most are still fascinated by this process and want to learn more to develop their skills further. As I always say, I will forever be a student of seduction.

This post is for those in this category: you find seduction exciting and want to perfect your game. You choose to focus on your skills and aim to be a master. You want to become a modern Casanova.

This post is also for those who want to improve, although it may resonate more with the former category.

So, today, I will discuss mental roadblocks and provide solutions to ease frustrations and biases you may encounter in the field.

Leave Her Better Than You Found Her

In seduction, it is said you must “leave her better than you found her.” But is this really meant or is it just marketing tripe? How do you leave a girl better off?

Anyone who’s spent any time in the seduction community has come across this phrase sooner or later: “leave her better than you found her.”

Newer guys can be skeptical of it. “That’s just marketing talk,” they say. “It’s something to brand seduction as more mainstream friendly.”

Or they might argue that the phrase is a “cope”, as seducers pursuing their nefarious ends are forced to justify their own guilt for plucking a nubile girl’s flower without next taking her to wed.

One newly joined member of our forum (who has been bouncing around arguing with everyone about everything) had this to say about the phrase:

The "leave her better off than you found her" thinking is just dumb and false. Just some train of thought prob concocted by some marketer to counter act the cognitive dissonance nice guys may feel at the thought of picking up women. It paints women as damsels in distress that need your rescuing as if. Fact is she'll be worst off bc she'll be a little older and a little looser after you're done with her.

Wow!

In a single paragraph, he managed to insult:

• The originator of the phrase as a cynical marketer

• The targets of the phrase as conflicted, gullible rubes

• Women as inexorably falling in value with each passing partner and every passing minute (reality check: while it is not my personal preference, tons and tons of guys go for higher count and older chicks. We also have men come onto Girls Chase complaining that now, in their 50s or 60s, women their own age are still too picky and will not date them. “The Wall” does not actually hit anywhere near as hard as red pill manosphere guys tend to want to believe it does)

Anyway, I’ll bet this guy’s a real gas at parties!

Is he right though, is “leave her better than you found her” mere cynical marketing tripe, or a phrase concocted to allay the player guilt nice guys experience seducing but not committing to girls?

Or is this mantra something else?

Tactics Tuesdays: Get Girls to Look at Your Face

Want a girl to show you she wants to meet? Here’s a simple tactic: do stuff that calls her attention to your face, so she notices you & can signal you.

Here’s something that’s so obvious you’ll be amazed you didn’t think of it yourself.

Most people most of the time, including most women, are in an autopilot ‘holding pattern’. They are in an unstimulated state, awaiting stimulation. Sometimes you will come across women who are present and aware and actively searching (e.g., for a potential mate), but this is somewhat rare. Most of the time people are off in their own worlds.

Of course, before we can commence a courtship or a seduction, we first need to get the attention of the girl we’d like to do that with. You can’t just jump in front of her with your arms waving and yell “Booga booga!” though. So what can you do?

One of the simplest, most casual, most Law of Least Effort-abiding ways to get girls paying attention to you (and elicit approach invitations) is with one of a number of moves designed to get girls to look at your face.

Should You Join a Run Club to Get Dates?

Singles running clubs are kind of the rage right now. You’re outdoors, you’re not online, you’re forced to put your phone away… but do they get you dates?

I always have folks ask me for fresh ideas about where to go to meet new people and get dates. Frankly, everyone’s pretty sick of online these days and ready to focus on real life again. (we’ve got some folks who are still killing it on apps, but… a lot of readers are over it)

We have plenty of articles on Girls Chase recommending various places you can go to meet people and get dates in the real world. Here is one such example. In fact, we have an entire section of the website dedicated to the topic.

However, one phenomenon we have not previously covered is run clubs. In particular, singles run clubs. I think it’s worth covering: what are singles run clubs, and should you bother joining a running club just to get dates?

Guys Who Struggle to Approach Girls: The Stages of Approach Problems & Abilities

Why is it so hard for you to talk to girls? There’s more than one reason men struggle to approach girls. From anxiety to trauma, the causes vary – as do the solutions.

This post written by COCPORN and edited by Carousal originally appeared on our forum here.

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This is a draft. I want this to be a helpful article over time, please contribute. This article draws on information from Levine and Berceli, and makes assumptions that they’re right. I’m looking for more clearly defined stages and overall correctness. I hope this can help diagnose problems and make it easier to prescribe the correct remedies for different situations.

A personal note from me to you: If you decide to comment or answer to this, reflect on where you’re currently at personally in terms of opening.

Carousel: This is a post written by COCPORN in 2014. Much of it is still valid. I have made comments some places with my 2020 understanding of the topic. The topic is that AA is not just one thing, hence there is a lot of confusion about what it is on how to solve it. Note that this is advanced material, so please take time to try to understand us before you disagree. Also please read THIS thread explaining TRE and other therapies before you read this post, otherwise you won't understand the terminology.

Intention: To create a helpful tool for escaping problems related to approaching. This tool will work by identifying the stages of approach problems and presenting solutions to them. At this point there might not be solutions to all stages. I’ll try to present the solutions I’ve personally seen for the different stages. I’ll also try to theorize around some solutions to different stages, but these will be clearly marked. I’m not necessarily looking for new techniques with this article, old and proven methods are welcome as suggestions to solving the different stages of approach problems.

Problem: People have problems approaching. These problems range from deeply rooted to superficial. Even without deeply rooted problems related to approaching, there often seems to emerge a pattern of avoidance or forceful exposure.

Carousel: This is why you see so much disagreement on causes and remedies to AA - people are in different stages and some of the more advanced guys may never have even been in the worst stages described here, while the hardcases have only been in the worst stages. Of course these guys will have zero understanding of each other both in terms of perception of the problem and devising an useful solution. I have personally gone through all of them so I can relate to most of the perspectives.

5 Differences Between a Pro Pickup Artist & an Intermediate One

How do you tell a pro-level pickup artist from a flashy mid-range one? There are 5 obvious ways – from his foundation to how he handles “bad nights” & more.

Contents

I. A Solid Foundation

II. Momentum: Ups and Downs

III. Bad Nights

IV. Unusual Situations

V. The Pro Knows What’s Up

VI. Conclusion

Hey guys and welcome back.

What differentiates a real pro pickup artist from an impressive intermediate? You may want to know how to spot the difference.

True pros are a rare breed. I would not recommend looking for them.

But if you find a candidate from whom you wish to learn, this post can be helpful.

The details below will give you an idea of what pickup mastery looks like. Many men have a flawed ideal of “the successful seducer.” They think that the guy who is flashy and makes girls giggle is a so-called “natural.” Most likely, he is just so-so. True mastery is subtle, and we often define this by the factors below and what we call “flash game.”

I consider myself successful, but I am not talking only about myself. I have gone out with top guys, and this post also references these experiences. I know that they agree with my observations.

How to Date and Sleep with Absolute Stunners

Getting regular girls is cool. But how do you step it up and really date the total knockouts? Here’s what it takes to get the stunners – and what you have to do.

Recently we had a thread on the forum by a member asking “How do you get the absolute stunners?” He asked:

Contents

1. Little-Known Truths

1. 'Objective 10' Myth
2. The Beauty Spectrum
3. No 'All Stunner' Guys
4. Imitation Stunners
5. Stunners Are Girls Too

2. How to Date Stunners

1. Finding Stunners
2. Is XYZ Way Easier?
3. Balance of Pickiness
4. Ignore Beauty Markers
5. Approach Stunners
6. Screen & Qualify

3. The Main Points

I have noticed that there’s a certain level of attractiveness I seem to be unable to get.

I might number close these stunners at the mall, or on the streets, but it’s usually the same outcome —either they text back a bit and ghost, or they never text back or pick their calls.

I have a triple digit lay count so I don’t know if it could be a “game” problem as I am not a novice.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I know it all —if I did, I would be getting those stunners.

So my question to you guys, those who have actually done it —how did you get the 9s and 10s?

You know, those girls that you walk with and everyone stares…

She gets compliments from strangers every single day…

Every woman wants to be her friend…

Men, complete strangers, are nicer and go out of their way to please…

When you walk with her you feel like a god.

How did you get these type of women?

Better fundamentals (suit and tie)?

More successful (got the dollar bill$)?

Better game (some advanced technique that hypnotizes them and makes em drop their panties)?

Better venue (maybe some locations just makes it easier to lay hotter women than some)?

Social circle?

Would love to know.

I just recently resumed gaming after taking some time off (was mostly getting laid from IG) and my no 1 goal is to get the stunners this time around

This topic (landing and bedding stunners) has long been one of the most hotly debated in dating circles. Men from various schools will claim that only their school leads men to the true Stunner Promised Land. Muscle guys insist you need muscles to land the babes. Money guys insist you need money to get them. Status guys insist you need fame or high position in social circle to get them. Game guys will tell you it’s all just a matter of having the right game.

The (perhaps controversial?) truth is that pretty much every avenue CAN WORK, and it is possible to meet, date, and bed stunners however you want to go about it. The guys who haven’t tried an avenue and swear it can’t work are keyboard jockeying. The guys who have tried an avenue, failed to make it work, but succeeded at landing stunners via another avenue are more interesting – their failures tend to come from misapplication, underapplication, or not playing to their strengths. We’ll talk about all these below.

But we’re going to start today by clearing away the myths around stunners, so you can view these gals through a much more realistic – and far less fantastical – lens.