Should You Even Respond to Women's Signs of Interest?

Women signal their interest in men often. But there’s some debate: is it worth paying ATTENTION to women’s signs of interest or not? It is… sometimes.

On the forum, I have a thread entitled “Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women’s signals.” It references my article that asks why most men can’t see girls’ signs of interest and links up several studies on mice and hamsters that find inexperienced males are bad at reading the signs of receptive female mice and hamsters.

Just like humans, it takes other male mammals time and experience to learn to read signs of receptivity and know how to respond to them.

We’ve had some interesting discussion on that thread, but I want to address a recent comment from user ChrisXKiss. He asks

Chase regarding this, how much does it really translate to results with women?

I always wondered, because even when I seemed to get attention, I would go open and the whole dynamic would change to: Oh so you do like me? Cute, but don’t expect much more.

It felt a bit like there was no point to carefully pay attention to indicators of interest, since they didn’t translate much to results anyway.

It’s probably because after I approach my attention is on the girl, I just want to get to know her and especially if she has given me a sign of interest I do this faster, since I know that the attraction is there anyway. Then I suppose it feels like I am too eager.

Maybe I should change my mindset when noticing signs, because my immediate reaction is: Ok this one likes me, let’s do this. I think they feel I approach them only because I saw the sign and think it will be easy, so they try to make it difficult.

But it’s difficult to even use signs of interest with girls I really like, since I notice them right away, and if I don’t go to approach immediately, it feels like I am waiting around trying to find a chance to talk to them. I think they feel I am interested from the get go, so they don’t give any signs, and the more time I spend not opening the more unattractive I become.

I know I should just not pay attention to them that much if I want them chasing, but it’s difficult when I see hot girls around to not take a look and check them out. I started doing it to overcome the shy barrier of not looking at people and sexualising women, but maybe I should force myself to stop.

So I am wondering what is even the correct way to take notice of them, since being aloof doesn’t really work either. Is it bad to show when you look at them that they really excite you? I think with the hottest ones they just see it in my eyes right at the open or even before.

I guess advice can also be conflicting sometimes, since I know that both your approach and Hector’s work, that said they are different as you mentioned, so sometimes I am wondering whether for example I am not showing my desire in the right way, or I should just not even show it up front, and I go back and forth, with neither really landing.

There’s a lot in there, but if we bullet out his questions/comments, they’d be:

• How much does getting attention from women really translate to results?

• Girls who give him attention, whom he then opens, feel validated then lose interest.

• He fears he may be coming in too eager when he approaches girls.

• Maybe it’s difficult to use signs of interest with girls you really like.

• It’s hard not to check out hot girls when he sees them.

• Being aloof also does not work.

I want to talk about these here (and try to make it concise because I’m a bit short on time at the moment). To do so, we need to differentiate between sincere signs of interest vs. signs of interest solely aimed at gaining male attention and validation.