How Much Interest vs. Disinterest Should You Show Girls?

How much interest or disinterest should you show a girl to fully attract her? It depends on the girl and the situation. You will just have to CALIBRATE.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Recently, I have been discussing indirect game, when one approaches a girl indirectly, withholding interest to initiate communication more safely. The benefits of this approach can lower a woman’s guard and avoid triggering unnecessary rejections. Most women reject men because they want to protect themselves from being stuck with a guy they do not consider attractive, so indirect game can help avoid these situations.

Why? The girl does not perceive you as hitting on her explicitly.

But wait, you are an attractive, confident guy! You are smart, decently wealthy, cool, social, nice; the list goes on. However, all your positive traits are irrelevant because she does NOT know you when you approach. So, unless she picks up on cues that signify attractive traits (like social proof) before you approach (and it is not a given that she will notice), or you happen to be her type, she may not give you a chance. Approaching indirectly allows you to buy time and provides an opportunity to convey those traits—yes, you are an attractive guy she can envision hooking up with.

Unlike direct approaches, when it is all or nothing, with indirect game, things are ambiguous, giving you more playing room. She doesn’t feel forced to accept or reject you, so you can convey your attractive personality, guiding her opinion of you to favorable and even feeling “I really want this guy!”

And, the more interest she shows, the more interest you can show her in return because, eventually, you should show some interest.

The question then becomes: how much interest should you show her when the time is right? As much as her? More than her? Less than her?

That is the question I will tackle in this article.

9 Ways to Keep Dates DIRT Cheap

If dating’s too expensive for you – well, you’re doing it wrong! You can have great dates that cost nothing… and some are even classier than pricey dinners.

“Dating’s too hard on my bank account!”

“I had to give up dating right now; I don’t have the funds.”

“I spend way too much on women.”

Every time I see comments like these I wonder, “What the heck is this guy doing to make dating so expensive?” I’d have to bang 30 girls a week to be spending as much as some guys spend going on one or two posh dates.

Not only is spending money on women hard on your bank account, a lot of the time it is counterproductive. Is your goal to get this girl into bed? Then you should not pay for dates!

If you must pay (and sometimes you’ll have to spend a little money), then you should cut the amount you are spending down as low as possible.

In this article, I’ll share nine (9) ways you can keep your dates dirt cheap or even free. If you want something with a girl other than to be her ATM, this is the guide for you.

(note: a lot of guys seem to have ego tied to being the provider. That is fine. If that is you, this isn’t the article for you. This is for guys who want to sleep with the girls they take out on dates and optionally turn those girls into FWBs or girlfriends. When that is the case, you want to minimize the role of money and maximize the focus on YOU and THE GIRL)

Her Words Don't Show Attraction; Her Behavior Does

Can ChatGPT tell who is attracted to whom? Not really – but neither can people reading date transcripts. You must be able to OBSERVE BEHAVIOR to tell!

Here’s a paper published this year from the University of New Brunswick’s psychology department that shows that, once again, most of attraction is not coded into words but behavior. From the paper:

What makes people 'click' on a first date and become mutually attracted to one another? While understanding and predicting the dynamics of romantic interactions used to be exclusive to human judgment, we show that Large Language Models (LLMs) can detect romantic attraction during brief getting-to-know-you interactions. Examining data from 964 speed dates, we show that ChatGPT (and Claude 3) can predict both objective and subjective indicators of speed dating success (r=0.12-0.23). ChatGPT's predictions of actual matching (i.e., the exchange of contact information) were not only on par with those of human judges who had access to the same information but incremental to speed daters' own predictions. While some of the variance in ChatGPT's predictions can be explained by common content dimensions (such as the valence of the conversations) the fact that there remains a substantial proportion of unexplained variance suggests that ChatGPT also picks up on conversational dynamics. In addition, ChatGPT's judgments showed substantial overlap with those made by the human observers (mean r=0.29), highlighting similarities in their representation of romantic attraction that is, partially, independent of accuracy.

The paper aimed to see whether an LLM like ChatGPT was capable of predicting who’d go out with whom from a speed dating event. So naturally, they focus on what ChatGPT was able to do in the abstract.

However, ChatGPT wasn’t actually that good at it – its predictions only correlated with reality 12% of the time – but that’s not the interesting part. The interesting part is that other humans simply reading the transcripts of the speed date conversations had almost exactly the same low level of accuracy (13%). Meanwhile, humans able to watch videos of the speed dates were 2.5x as accurate (31%); the participants themselves were on-the-mark a full 50% of the time.

From the paper

What that means is that if you are trying to judge a woman’s intentions toward you, you need to be basing that off her body language, not her words.

I’ll explain.

Tactics Tuesdays: Disqualifying Girls to Boost Attraction

If a girl is resistant or not as interested as she should be, you can use a disqualifier to make her feel like you’re saying you aren’t interested – and prompt her to chase.

One classic seduction tactic I’m surprised we’ve never written a devoted article on is the disqualifier. Given Alek Rolstad’s recent series on showing disinterest in girls (to get them chasing and raise attraction), I figured it was time to write one up.

A disqualifier is anything you use to disqualify either YOURSELF or THE GIRL. Disqualifiers have several use cases (such as simplifying the seduction by removing yourself from boyfriend contention). However, most of the time you will use them to slightly lower attainability in a playful, flirtatious way designed to make girls chase you.

Here’s a very simple example of a disqualifier you might use:

BLONDE GIRL: So what kind of girls do you like?

YOU: Mostly redheads but sometimes I go for brunettes.

By telling Ms. Blonde that you only go for redheads and “sometimes” brunettes, you implicitly disqualify her as a romantic option. If you read her right, and she was ripe for a disqualifier, she is going to start working harder to attract you – i.e., she is going to chase.

I’ll briefly discuss the psychology behind disqualification. Then we’ll talk about when and when not to use disqualifiers, plus give you some example disqualifications you can play around with on girls today.